AJ (@ajandhisbackpack) and Jay (@thutmosethe3rd_) are here to shake things up! This episode is a whirlwind of spicy insights and engaging chatter. They dive deep into managing toxic relationships—how do you balance keeping someone in your life while dodging the drama? They also tackle the art of self-disclosure: what's the sweet spot for sharing personal tidbits with new acquaintances? And when criticism comes from someone you value, how do you handle it without losing your cool? Tune in for a lively discussion that's equal parts witty and wise. Enjoy the vibes!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Of a Jay McLaughlin. I'm RyanRue, I'm DJ Rich. I receive
the tough four of Clinny Martinez andwe are the hosts of the Pinions of
Consequences, the podcast, the showwhere Europeans can lead to consequences. So
choose your words wisely. Enjoy theshow, Chip, Chip, Yeah,
(00:27):
what's going on? People? Man, Welcome back to another episode of A
piece of Consequences off the books.Guys, you already know this is the
condensed version. I'm not gonna gothrough the whole spiel because you already know
how we get down. Guys.Man, I got a guest back in
the building for part two. Man, what's really good? What's parking?
Betty happ Ja coming on? Yellhere again, yell here again? Yes,
(00:55):
sir, Heart chew hearts. Howhave you been since then? Bro?
It's been a different energy. DifferentI've to see myself like and one
to have like a real conversation likethat on a podcast. I'm just enjoying,
(01:19):
like what's happening right now? Idig that. Man. I want
to say, I'm gonna give youyour flowers ship the scream. You're amazing
at what you do. YO appreciatethat. Seriously, I feel you know
what I mean, I feel likeI gotta pour him a drink now.
Man. You know, I gottajust be respectful. Man, you know
(01:42):
what I mean. We got achance of that be I mean this a
little tequila, a little Caribbean sunset, you know what I mean. You
know, here we go and youknow this. I made it on the
spot. So how read that thing? Look low ki kool aid, right
low key, but no, it'sa little bit. You know, the
(02:05):
flavors at all time high. Let'ssee, yo. You gotta be the
judge of it, all right,gotcha? Cheers, bro appreciate you,
sir. Stop being polite and startgetting it out just in time, Just
in time, guys. Man,listen, we're gonna get right into the
meat and potatoes fire all right,guys. First question I do have for
(02:31):
you is how do you manage slashgauge toxicness when dealing with someone that you
want to keep relations with? Yeah, you gotta. I think, going
off of like the last podcast,I'm a person that if I were to
(02:57):
really think about it one like again, I'm a baby out here, okay,
but if I were to think aboutit, if I were to be
in a situation like that, Idon't think I would tolerate that much.
I think I would like really tryto have like a real conversation of like
why, like asking, like whyyou acting to me that you're acting?
(03:20):
Mmm okay, And like I don'tthink I'll miss stand for the toxicity me
personally or I'll just like I'll likeplay her game and like shut it down.
Okay. So you're like you're likeyou're you're are you like, uh,
see where this is going, Seewhere it's going. And then like
(03:40):
if it reaches that toxicity level oflike let's say, for example, like
domestic violence and all that stuff,I don't do that. See. That's
what I'm saying though, because andI feel like it's an important guys,
for all the viewers and listeners outthere. Is it's important for all of
us in the because we all haveour own ways on being able to deal
(04:02):
and manage with different situations. AndI feel like, you know, it's
important, you know, for usto share this because you know, some
people love toxic stuff. Yeah,they live in and and and and you
know what, I don't want tobe that person to be like Yo,
I blame media and all that extrastuff. I just it plays, it
(04:26):
does play correct correct correct thing.Yeah, And that's what I'm saying,
your surroundings and all that extra stuff. Yeah, it is very important to
like how I manage it is II try to understand. I try to
understand, and and I try toeducate. I want to say educate,
(04:48):
but kind of like guide and tryingto make that person understand, Yo,
this is not right. That's notcool. It's not cool. And that's
the only thing I could do whereI could just kind of like manage it
and like kind of be like,yo, you're kind of acting up like
(05:08):
all of this. You know whatwhat? What is that? What is
in the air? See, likewhat do you? You know what I
mean. So it's just one ofthose things where I feel like a lot
of us we have to understand basedoff of experience. I'm not saying guys,
go get in a toxic relationship andall the extra stuff, like you
(05:30):
know, I'm not saying that,you know, But at the same time,
we have to understand what we're dealingwith, but we have to equally
be able to control our own feelings, you know what I mean. And
that's where we we have to ifbeing in that at the age that we're
at, like be grown adults andcommunication is key. You know what I'm
(05:51):
saying, simple as that. I'ma simple person, so I just keep
it straight up. Just just talkto me, Just have a conversation.
Like if you want to like expressyour feelings, express your feelings. Don't
be going around this rabbit hole tryingto like be brady or like, no,
(06:12):
just express yourself. If you're dealingwith a dude that's not willing to
see where your mind is at forreal, like and you like entertain that
shit to me, it's like why, but I get it. This is
the wave. It's weird as fuck. It's weird, guys. Cut it
(06:35):
out. You guys need to growup, like you know what I mean.
That's what it is. Man.It's one of those things where coming
back to what you said, bean adult, young lady, young man,
be an adult. You know whatI mean? You know, because
it's it's not just ladies. It'smeant to you know what I mean.
There's a lot of talks that menout there. To let me ask you
(06:55):
this, it's a good segue.How does one determine how much information they
should share about themselves when meeting newpeople. I feel like this is important.
I feel like it's important because youknow why, because it's kind of
ties in the whole talks of thisbecause you know mind because it's like,
yeah, well one, it's likeyou said before, seeing where stuff goes
(07:20):
in the beginning, correct, correctone, like really get like like you
said, like you go off forpersonality, have like how you meet people.
I do. Yeah, I'm saying. It's just it's it's okay to
be mysterious, Like, don't bescared to be mysterious, Like, yeah,
it's okay to hold back. It'sokay to like let people wonder,
(07:44):
let people like really want to getto know you, like correct, but
like you know, just keep abalance. I don't know, I don't
know how to really answer that.Like I feel like it's just because people
can let out, they can justlearn out too much and like it goes
downhill, like well yeah, andand I and I agree with you.
I just feel like a lot ofthem and I've done that. I've done
(08:07):
that where where you where you whereyou gave out. I gave out too
much and you learn so much yougrow from that and you do you do?
But like, where are you at? See? No, I'm with
you. I'm with you on that. The way I go about the people,
I give off information based off ofwhat matters. You know, my
(08:30):
information towards somebody doesn't matter until theymatter? Is that? Is that a
bar? Bars? Is that abar? Okay? You know? Also
I'm saying though, because you gotto think about it, like if I'm
giving you all this information right now, you're looking at okay and then hit
me with that, Oh I lovethat for you? What I just punch
(08:52):
in the face like you know whatI mean? Like, it doesn't matter.
You don't know me, I don'tknow you. This information is relevant.
Why can't you just build off oflike everything? He's right. But
at the same time, until youstart to get to know somebody, the
information becomes more valuable. Oh wow, oh my god, because now there's
(09:13):
an interest, there's now a connection. I fucks with you, you fucks
with me. I want to learnmore. If I don't fux with you,
I don't. Oh all right,that's what's up, bro, Be
easy out there. You know whatI mean. But see, and that's
what I'm saying, Like I feellike a lot of times, people,
you gotta choose how much information thatyou guys are giving out there, just
(09:35):
because you know, obviously if yougive out too much information, now the
person that's getting closer to you,what value do they have with that information?
Because if everyone else knows the informationabout you, it's like nothing is
valuable sitting you think about it,Like, you know what I mean,
if I knew everything about you,but then your significant other new half and
(09:58):
I was a no, what doesthat say about your significant other? She's
like, Oh, when was yougonna tell me about that? Oh?
My fault? Oh, So youknow what I mean. It's just like
I feel like a lot of timesit could be looked as you know,
it's it's disrespectful life, you knowwhat I mean, Because it's like,
(10:20):
Yo, where where do I standin your life? Mm hmm, priorities.
I'm just saying like I'm just sayingthough, like you know what I
mean. I just you know,that's aging guys. Everybody has their own
method to their madness in terms ofhow they share their information. You have
social media nowadays, where you knowyour your life's on on view at all
(10:43):
times, and it's up to youif you want to continue sharing that and
all that stuff. But then guesswhat, the next person that's getting to
know you, you got nothing toshare with them. That's crazy. That's
crazy. I say that's crazy nowbecause yo, I am a testament to
that. But it wasn't as bad, you know what I'm saying. I
(11:07):
didn't have anything I wasn't in inthe toxic situations where like I was talking
to people at the time like theold person that like I tell you,
I take my time one at atime. But like, but when it
came to getting to know people,like I would do too much. So
like once that, once you fail, you learn from it. Yeah,
do better and better because she hasthat sounds did just grow up. But
(11:31):
it's like damn, priority is hiskey? Yeah it's kind of like,
yo, it's how you would treatyour man's that you knew for like twenty
years versus your man's that you justknew for one Yeah, who got priority?
You see what I'm saying. Soit's it's it's just like that,
like who really has that key toyour life? Like that? Like who's
(11:56):
That's what I'm saying though, Solike you know what I mean, And
that's why that's how I gauge howmuch information is shared. In the beginning,
when meeting new people, Double wentback to the question, like,
you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean. That's
that's how I gauge it. I'mjust like this, Nah, I'm gonna
give a little month two later,it's the person I'm giving a little boy,
(12:18):
oh too much. I was gonnasay, it shouldn't baturally be like
that. It's not even like,yeah, one is strategic, real when
is a strategic But that's the naturalway to like really just get to know
people. What I'm saying, like, yeah, you don't do too much,
Like y'all just get to know,get a feel, get a feel
for each other, and y'all justbe living life. You know what I'm
saying, Like, you don't yougotta do too much? Going back to
(12:41):
that, you don't gotta do toomuch? You don't, you don't.
And that's a good segue because guesswhat. Let me ask you this,
and I want I want to getyour suggestion on this. With modern day
technology, how do you feel ifyour partner requests your location at all times?
That's wild, that is wild.I need to sit that you're I'm
(13:01):
looking at it. The fact thatyou're asking me, the fact that you're
asking me, it's it's like,what what motive do you have asking me
that you're giving me trust issues?Yo? Oh no, seriously, Like
(13:28):
why are you asking that person wearstheir mask in the car by themselves?
Like that's how that's how trust is. That's almost trust issues that person.
Like, Bro, I'm sorry,people listen, man, like call me
old school, call me whatever.If you ask for my location, I'm
just gonna laugh at you. I'mgonna laugh at you. I'm gonna chuckle
(13:50):
and be like girl stupid, likeyou know what I mean, Like I'm
not, I'm sorry, Like youknow, you know a lot of people
would be like, oh yeah,you would share it if you have nothing
to hide. I'm like yeah,But equally, like, what's the point
of me giving you my location?If I'm telling you you have trust is
shoes, Let's get it. Let'slet's let's get to it. And if
you got that deep enough, trustis shoes, I can't fox with you,
(14:11):
like who hurt you? Yeah?Who did? Like who? Like
what happened? Like what happened?Can we talk about it? Let's get
it let's let's get the Biggie three, the five for five at Wendy's.
That goes back to toxicity. No, it is, and I'm sorry,
(14:33):
guys, listen whatever you want tosay in this the males that do that
too, the males that be askingfor locations too. And I'm i'm whatever.
That's teacher's own. But listen,I'm sorry, it's I'm it's it's
toxic to me, it's super toxic. I feel like it's something where if
you're asking for someone's location all thetime. No, I'm good, respectful
(14:58):
all the time. Yeah, Likeyo, bro, say mom, I'm
good, I'm heavy good, Yeahsaid some good. Be easy with yourself,
Like I'm over here, like enjoyingmy life. Are you not enjoying
yours? Like you want me tolive your life for you? Like,
what are you doing? You reallywant to be over there talking about Oh
yeah, here is at seven eleven. You're bored, You're like, and
(15:24):
if you gotta live a life,you gotta live in a relationship like that.
People, you guys shouldn't be together. You should be by yourself.
Sis, get some cats, Getsome cats, bro, if you've got
that situation, get some dogs.A goldfish, Like you know what,
I'm sorry, bro, Like,but that's wild to me. That's heavy.
Wow, Bro, if you guysare really asking for locations like that
(15:46):
every time and you got trust issues, bro, I'm sure I can't.
I can't. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what else to say
to that, Uh, like howwould you? How would you deal with
it? Though? Like I justwant to, like you know what I
mean, like if I were toin a situation like that, like how
long? How long? Because youknow why, because you know there's probably
(16:06):
somebody out there that's that goes throughthis or that went through this, and
they probably asking a question of howdoes someone how does someone that wants to
carry that relationship with that person,how do they deal with it or how
they talk to them about that.I feel like with a situation like that,
if I, like, if Iwere to go through that, like
(16:29):
let's say, like my girl wereto ask me for my location like adamantly
keep asking me one, I wouldhave like I said, like I asked
before, like why why are youpressing me about my location? One?
Mommy? Two? Like what doyou have to hide it? Like I'm
(16:56):
not one, I'm not on somelike if I'm if I'm committed to I'm
committed to you, I ain't likebut I understand, we understand where where
we're at, like in this world. I understand that. But at the
same time, like, what's goingon in your life for you to like
ask me in that way? Likewhat what? What? Can we have
(17:19):
a real conversation? You got hurt? You got hurt? You got hurt?
Bro, you got hurt? Whohurts you? Like? What's going
on? Like? Can we resolvethis? Can we go? Let's do
a therapy session real quick? Butthis is this is how much I care.
We see, That's what I'm saying. And I feel like a lot
of times people people just you know, continue to toxicity back and forth,
(17:40):
back and forth, back and forth, and there's no resolution, you know,
and they just put it under therud you know what I mean.
So it's just like, well,we're gonna double back. We're gonna double
back. Never mind, you're hidingstuff. Okay, let me ask you
this, because this is a goodsegment. How do you handle criticism or
negative feedback from someone you want tokeep in your life. And this is
(18:04):
coming back from this whole thing,like you know, what I mean,
how do you handle criticism or negativefeedback from people that you want to continue
relations in that life? Me,you meet your personal I really I love
this question because I used to bea hardhead. I never used to take
(18:30):
I used to be really sensitive.Y'all can talk, y'all ship, I
don't care. I don't care,but like I'm learning that just take a
head on, just take ahead on, take it for what it is,
reflect on it, okay, andand that that causes a conversation between the
(18:56):
two of you, and like causethe conversation to like and your benefit to
help yourself. And I think it'sa beautiful thing to me. I think,
I think I think you can afullike I would. I would,
I would handle it, and theI'll say in a good way. Okay,
(19:18):
in a good way, because nobody'sperfect. No, No, you're
right, you're right, because likeI'm I'm in this. I'm in like
you asking this questions. I'm inthis right now. Yeah, you know
what I mean. I feel likeI feel like we go through criticism all
the time. People. Yeah,the way I handle it, I look
at it half empty, half full, and I look at it as okay,
(19:41):
cool, like you know what Imean. If I but I'm more
of lead by example, lead byexample. So if I could take criticism
and take feedback and take it,take it on the chin as you can
say, and keep trucking, I'mhoping that you could do the same thing.
You know what I mean, Soyou know what I mean, And
that's and that's and that's the thing. So I and that and that's big
(20:04):
because if obviously, like if you'reif you're critique or giving somebody, and
I hope you're doing this for yourself, correct, you know what I mean.
If if you're not able to dothe same thing for yourself, then
I'm looking at you really funny.I'm looking at you really funny, just
because guess what, Yeah, it'snot it's it's a one way street.
(20:25):
Now, it's not a two waystreet as long as we're both like looking
for better in our lives, likecorrect, and you're doing your critiquing me
like I want, I'll take thatcritique with the grain of salt. But
I'm hoping that you're putting your moneywhere your mouth is being what I'm saying,
like, because I wouldn't want tobe with a hypocrite and like later
(20:47):
on, later on, like Iasked you those same questions and you acting
different now, Yeah, you justyou just giving me pushback and being like
yo, like this and this andthat, and I'm like, yo,
I'm just toxicity. And that's whatI'm saying though, because I think,
like I said, the relationships aretwo way street people. It's a two
way street, and it's a giveand take. But like like I said,
in order for you to want thesame feedback and the same results,
(21:15):
you gotta lead, you know whatI mean. Somebody gotta take the lead,
and someone gotta be like, allright, cool, you know what,
appreciate that. I'm gonna work onthis. But then if I give
you some feedback, you can't doall this. And that's what I'm saying.
I'm like says, take off theband in and put down a knife.
Come on, come on, becauseit's much energy you putting into relationship
with everything and how you're trying tolike help me out. I'm gonna do
(21:38):
the same for you, So Ihope you're giving me that same energy,
you know what I'm saying. That'sall I asked for to like what I
wouldn't say, what's the hardest criticismthat you took, like and this doesn't
have to be relationships anything. Artistcriticism took mm hmm h Before I used
(22:07):
to fall too deep, And Isay that was just like from THEE in
the second place, Uh leave medown now like I used to. I
(22:33):
was, I was, I was. I fell for somebody too deep.
After like a week, it wasjust the vibe was just fire. And
but I like, I started toyou know, I started to like get
a little jealous because I forgot thatwe were just like we were in a
dating using Yeah you you you felthard. I felt hard, and I
(23:00):
you know, she said, don'tyou gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself?
It was something like that. Itwas more it was it was she
she said it more nicer than thatbecause she knows I come from a nice,
a better, a good place.But I was just I sent her
a paragraph and it just yeah,what's you know what? Yeah? Yeah,
(23:26):
it was just too much. Itwas just too much, too soon,
like what I'm saying. So sheshe checked me and then like we
just want to separate. So itkind of it hurt, But I like,
you have to learn from those thingsbecause you can't just dwell on that
you can't you can't know what I'msaying, but that that's the only thing
(23:47):
I could think of. That's whatI'm saying. Like right now, like
real quick, I did legs withShorty and I'm thinking I'm doing the workouts
right, and she's literally like you'redoing it right, like m yeah,
but like I'm in a space whereI'm like, I'm still I'm a sponge
right now. So I'm like,oh, ship one, that's sexy.
(24:11):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Counterpart is you know what I mean,
helping you out? Hell yeah,it's not sexy. And then then
you know some king and queen ship, so like it just shows like oh
ship, Like I say, that'ssimple. It's like still like I was
getting I was like annoyed because I'mlike, but I was getting annoyed at
the fact I was doing it wrongthis whole time. Side like yeah,
(24:33):
we actually get real quick, man, Okay, okay, out of time,
okay, real quick with me.It's you know, my my,
my, my moment of criticism wason the football field. My coach he
had told me straight up and Ididn't know how to take that. He
(24:56):
was like, yo, what's uplike you know, in one bar he
said, Yo, listen, hedon't get comfortable. I'm looking for the
upgrade of you. I didn't knowhow to take that. Bet. I
like how you just talked about itin a general Yeah, I like that.
Okay, my bad. I'm thinkinglike yeah, yeah, yeah,
okay, yeah, I'm like,I'm trying to stick to like everything we
(25:18):
were talking. Okay, yeah that'swhat I'm saying, like in any aspect.
Yeah okay, yeah, yeah,okay, yeah, you it's crazy.
Okay, I respect that. Ireally quicked out the blue. Would
you rather party with Diddy or snitchon your home? That's funny. Would
(25:41):
you rather listen folks out there orsnitch on your home? Oh my god,
I'm not. I'm gonna be honest. I know the I know the
logical neither. Bro. You gottapick you gotta pick on that man.
(26:06):
You gotta add to this. Ican't. It's hard because I don't want
to party with you, Apol whatbro? Like? Like did he ruined
it for everybody? Even more likeI don't want to party with Diddy.
(26:27):
I don't wanna know. Oh yeah, we're gonna yo, We're gonna lead
that for another. You got anypositive, positive feedback to get back to
the people. Yeah, I don't. I think going off of everything we
(26:52):
talked about, it's okay to notentertain the bullshit. Mm hmm. You
don't have to, Like you havea choice. That's where I'm coming from,
Like it's okay, like you,you can give energy to something that
(27:14):
actually serves you. The bullshit doesn'tserve you. And it depends on what
the bullshit is. Like everybody's everybody'ssituation is different. I don't like that.
I need to I need to listen. Listen guys, a little bit
(27:37):
of words of wisdom before I go? Or you sure there's that too,
Like why are you doing so much? You don't have to do so much,
see your as, enjoy your life, stop being so pressed. Like
if you with a good person,enjoy that ship. Ruin it if that's
(28:02):
the case. But if you likethe toxicity, that's it you And I
hope I hope you. I hopeyou get something out of it. But
I know, damn, let's everget words of wisdom because I feel like
I feel like you're about to letread a scription that she likes. Let
(28:22):
me get this, he said,turn the poems up fourteen. Oh,
do you a little bit of wordsof wisdom? People? Man? You
sure? I don't want to getnone of your little hoes upset female that
reads a comic secsion more of thestory. If we're done, then we
(28:47):
done. Don't text me because I'lltext you back. Stay toxic, guys.
Man, listen, man, Iwant to thank you. Guys walking
out with us for another episode ofBeings Coons was off the books. Guys,
I got my man J back inthe building. Jay really quick.
How could they reach you? Youalready know that most of the third on
Instagram. It's gonna be, It'sgonna be down by, down below.
(29:12):
You already know. I'm everywhere,He's everywhere, He's every here, he's
everywhere. He's never dead. Andthat's literally my life is. Guys went
to the next Time Man Situations
Of a Jay McLaughlin. I'm RyanRue, I'm DJ Rich. I receive
the tough four of Clinny Martinez andwe are the hosts of the Pinions of
Consequences, the podcast, the showwhere Europeans can lead to consequences. So
choose your words wisely. Enjoy theshow, Chip, Chip, Yeah,
(00:27):
what's going on? People? Man, Welcome back to another episode of A
piece of Consequences off the books.Guys, you already know this is the
condensed version. I'm not gonna gothrough the whole spiel because you already know
how we get down. Guys.Man, I got a guest back in
the building for part two. Man, what's really good? What's parking?
Betty happ Ja coming on? Yellhere again, yell here again? Yes,
(00:55):
sir, Heart chew hearts. Howhave you been since then? Bro?
It's been a different energy. DifferentI've to see myself like and one
to have like a real conversation likethat on a podcast. I'm just enjoying,
(01:19):
like what's happening right now? Idig that. Man. I want
to say, I'm gonna give youyour flowers ship the scream. You're amazing
at what you do. YO appreciatethat. Seriously, I feel you know
what I mean, I feel likeI gotta pour him a drink now.
Man. You know, I gottajust be respectful. Man, you know
(01:42):
what I mean. We got achance of that be I mean this a
little tequila, a little Caribbean sunset, you know what I mean. You
know, here we go and youknow this. I made it on the
spot. So how read that thing? Look low ki kool aid, right
low key, but no, it'sa little bit. You know, the
(02:05):
flavors at all time high. Let'ssee, yo. You gotta be the
judge of it, all right,gotcha? Cheers, bro appreciate you,
sir. Stop being polite and startgetting it out just in time, Just
in time, guys. Man,listen, we're gonna get right into the
meat and potatoes fire all right,guys. First question I do have for
(02:31):
you is how do you manage slashgauge toxicness when dealing with someone that you
want to keep relations with? Yeah, you gotta. I think, going
off of like the last podcast,I'm a person that if I were to
(02:57):
really think about it one like again, I'm a baby out here, okay,
but if I were to think aboutit, if I were to be
in a situation like that, Idon't think I would tolerate that much.
I think I would like really tryto have like a real conversation of like
why, like asking, like whyyou acting to me that you're acting?
(03:20):
Mmm okay, And like I don'tthink I'll miss stand for the toxicity me
personally or I'll just like I'll likeplay her game and like shut it down.
Okay. So you're like you're likeyou're you're are you like, uh,
see where this is going, Seewhere it's going. And then like
(03:40):
if it reaches that toxicity level oflike let's say, for example, like
domestic violence and all that stuff,I don't do that. See. That's
what I'm saying though, because andI feel like it's an important guys,
for all the viewers and listeners outthere. Is it's important for all of
us in the because we all haveour own ways on being able to deal
(04:02):
and manage with different situations. AndI feel like, you know, it's
important, you know, for usto share this because you know, some
people love toxic stuff. Yeah,they live in and and and and you
know what, I don't want tobe that person to be like Yo,
I blame media and all that extrastuff. I just it plays, it
(04:26):
does play correct correct correct thing.Yeah, And that's what I'm saying,
your surroundings and all that extra stuff. Yeah, it is very important to
like how I manage it is II try to understand. I try to
understand, and and I try toeducate. I want to say educate,
(04:48):
but kind of like guide and tryingto make that person understand, Yo,
this is not right. That's notcool. It's not cool. And that's
the only thing I could do whereI could just kind of like manage it
and like kind of be like,yo, you're kind of acting up like
(05:08):
all of this. You know whatwhat? What is that? What is
in the air? See, likewhat do you? You know what I
mean. So it's just one ofthose things where I feel like a lot
of us we have to understand basedoff of experience. I'm not saying guys,
go get in a toxic relationship andall the extra stuff, like you
(05:30):
know, I'm not saying that,you know, But at the same time,
we have to understand what we're dealingwith, but we have to equally
be able to control our own feelings, you know what I mean. And
that's where we we have to ifbeing in that at the age that we're
at, like be grown adults andcommunication is key. You know what I'm
(05:51):
saying, simple as that. I'ma simple person, so I just keep
it straight up. Just just talkto me, Just have a conversation.
Like if you want to like expressyour feelings, express your feelings. Don't
be going around this rabbit hole tryingto like be brady or like, no,
(06:12):
just express yourself. If you're dealingwith a dude that's not willing to
see where your mind is at forreal, like and you like entertain that
shit to me, it's like why, but I get it. This is
the wave. It's weird as fuck. It's weird, guys. Cut it
(06:35):
out. You guys need to growup, like you know what I mean.
That's what it is. Man.It's one of those things where coming
back to what you said, bean adult, young lady, young man,
be an adult. You know whatI mean? You know, because
it's it's not just ladies. It'smeant to you know what I mean.
There's a lot of talks that menout there. To let me ask you
(06:55):
this, it's a good segue.How does one determine how much information they
should share about themselves when meeting newpeople. I feel like this is important.
I feel like it's important because youknow why, because it's kind of
ties in the whole talks of thisbecause you know mind because it's like,
yeah, well one, it's likeyou said before, seeing where stuff goes
(07:20):
in the beginning, correct, correctone, like really get like like you
said, like you go off forpersonality, have like how you meet people.
I do. Yeah, I'm saying. It's just it's it's okay to
be mysterious, Like, don't bescared to be mysterious, Like, yeah,
it's okay to hold back. It'sokay to like let people wonder,
(07:44):
let people like really want to getto know you, like correct, but
like you know, just keep abalance. I don't know, I don't
know how to really answer that.Like I feel like it's just because people
can let out, they can justlearn out too much and like it goes
downhill, like well yeah, andand I and I agree with you.
I just feel like a lot ofthem and I've done that. I've done
(08:07):
that where where you where you whereyou gave out. I gave out too
much and you learn so much yougrow from that and you do you do?
But like, where are you at? See? No, I'm with
you. I'm with you on that. The way I go about the people,
I give off information based off ofwhat matters. You know, my
(08:30):
information towards somebody doesn't matter until theymatter? Is that? Is that a
bar? Bars? Is that abar? Okay? You know? Also
I'm saying though, because you gotto think about it, like if I'm
giving you all this information right now, you're looking at okay and then hit
me with that, Oh I lovethat for you? What I just punch
(08:52):
in the face like you know whatI mean? Like, it doesn't matter.
You don't know me, I don'tknow you. This information is relevant.
Why can't you just build off oflike everything? He's right. But
at the same time, until youstart to get to know somebody, the
information becomes more valuable. Oh wow, oh my god, because now there's
(09:13):
an interest, there's now a connection. I fucks with you, you fucks
with me. I want to learnmore. If I don't fux with you,
I don't. Oh all right,that's what's up, bro, Be
easy out there. You know whatI mean. But see, and that's
what I'm saying, Like I feellike a lot of times, people,
you gotta choose how much information thatyou guys are giving out there, just
(09:35):
because you know, obviously if yougive out too much information, now the
person that's getting closer to you,what value do they have with that information?
Because if everyone else knows the informationabout you, it's like nothing is
valuable sitting you think about it,Like, you know what I mean,
if I knew everything about you,but then your significant other new half and
(09:58):
I was a no, what doesthat say about your significant other? She's
like, Oh, when was yougonna tell me about that? Oh?
My fault? Oh, So youknow what I mean. It's just like
I feel like a lot of timesit could be looked as you know,
it's it's disrespectful life, you knowwhat I mean, Because it's like,
(10:20):
Yo, where where do I standin your life? Mm hmm, priorities.
I'm just saying like I'm just sayingthough, like you know what I
mean. I just you know,that's aging guys. Everybody has their own
method to their madness in terms ofhow they share their information. You have
social media nowadays, where you knowyour your life's on on view at all
(10:43):
times, and it's up to youif you want to continue sharing that and
all that stuff. But then guesswhat, the next person that's getting to
know you, you got nothing toshare with them. That's crazy. That's
crazy. I say that's crazy nowbecause yo, I am a testament to
that. But it wasn't as bad, you know what I'm saying. I
(11:07):
didn't have anything I wasn't in inthe toxic situations where like I was talking
to people at the time like theold person that like I tell you,
I take my time one at atime. But like, but when it
came to getting to know people,like I would do too much. So
like once that, once you fail, you learn from it. Yeah,
do better and better because she hasthat sounds did just grow up. But
(11:31):
it's like damn, priority is hiskey? Yeah it's kind of like,
yo, it's how you would treatyour man's that you knew for like twenty
years versus your man's that you justknew for one Yeah, who got priority?
You see what I'm saying. Soit's it's it's just like that,
like who really has that key toyour life? Like that? Like who's
(11:56):
That's what I'm saying though, Solike you know what I mean, And
that's why that's how I gauge howmuch information is shared. In the beginning,
when meeting new people, Double wentback to the question, like,
you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean. That's
that's how I gauge it. I'mjust like this, Nah, I'm gonna
give a little month two later,it's the person I'm giving a little boy,
(12:18):
oh too much. I was gonnasay, it shouldn't baturally be like
that. It's not even like,yeah, one is strategic, real when
is a strategic But that's the naturalway to like really just get to know
people. What I'm saying, like, yeah, you don't do too much,
Like y'all just get to know,get a feel, get a feel
for each other, and y'all justbe living life. You know what I'm
saying, Like, you don't yougotta do too much? Going back to
(12:41):
that, you don't gotta do toomuch? You don't, you don't.
And that's a good segue because guesswhat. Let me ask you this,
and I want I want to getyour suggestion on this. With modern day
technology, how do you feel ifyour partner requests your location at all times?
That's wild, that is wild.I need to sit that you're I'm
(13:01):
looking at it. The fact thatyou're asking me, the fact that you're
asking me, it's it's like,what what motive do you have asking me
that you're giving me trust issues?Yo? Oh no, seriously, Like
(13:28):
why are you asking that person wearstheir mask in the car by themselves?
Like that's how that's how trust is. That's almost trust issues that person.
Like, Bro, I'm sorry,people listen, man, like call me
old school, call me whatever.If you ask for my location, I'm
just gonna laugh at you. I'mgonna laugh at you. I'm gonna chuckle
(13:50):
and be like girl stupid, likeyou know what I mean, Like I'm
not, I'm sorry, Like youknow, you know a lot of people
would be like, oh yeah,you would share it if you have nothing
to hide. I'm like yeah,But equally, like, what's the point
of me giving you my location?If I'm telling you you have trust is
shoes, Let's get it. Let'slet's let's get to it. And if
you got that deep enough, trustis shoes, I can't fox with you,
(14:11):
like who hurt you? Yeah?Who did? Like who? Like
what happened? Like what happened?Can we talk about it? Let's get
it let's let's get the Biggie three, the five for five at Wendy's.
That goes back to toxicity. No, it is, and I'm sorry,
(14:33):
guys, listen whatever you want tosay in this the males that do that
too, the males that be askingfor locations too. And I'm i'm whatever.
That's teacher's own. But listen,I'm sorry, it's I'm it's it's
toxic to me, it's super toxic. I feel like it's something where if
you're asking for someone's location all thetime. No, I'm good, respectful
(14:58):
all the time. Yeah, Likeyo, bro, say mom, I'm
good, I'm heavy good, Yeahsaid some good. Be easy with yourself,
Like I'm over here, like enjoyingmy life. Are you not enjoying
yours? Like you want me tolive your life for you? Like,
what are you doing? You reallywant to be over there talking about Oh
yeah, here is at seven eleven. You're bored, You're like, and
(15:24):
if you gotta live a life,you gotta live in a relationship like that.
People, you guys shouldn't be together. You should be by yourself.
Sis, get some cats, Getsome cats, bro, if you've got
that situation, get some dogs.A goldfish, Like you know what,
I'm sorry, bro, Like,but that's wild to me. That's heavy.
Wow, Bro, if you guysare really asking for locations like that
(15:46):
every time and you got trust issues, bro, I'm sure I can't.
I can't. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what else to say
to that, Uh, like howwould you? How would you deal with
it? Though? Like I justwant to, like you know what I
mean, like if I were toin a situation like that, like how
long? How long? Because youknow why, because you know there's probably
(16:06):
somebody out there that's that goes throughthis or that went through this, and
they probably asking a question of howdoes someone how does someone that wants to
carry that relationship with that person,how do they deal with it or how
they talk to them about that.I feel like with a situation like that,
if I, like, if Iwere to go through that, like
(16:29):
let's say, like my girl wereto ask me for my location like adamantly
keep asking me one, I wouldhave like I said, like I asked
before, like why why are youpressing me about my location? One?
Mommy? Two? Like what doyou have to hide it? Like I'm
(16:56):
not one, I'm not on somelike if I'm if I'm committed to I'm
committed to you, I ain't likebut I understand, we understand where where
we're at, like in this world. I understand that. But at the
same time, like, what's goingon in your life for you to like
ask me in that way? Likewhat what? What? Can we have
(17:19):
a real conversation? You got hurt? You got hurt? You got hurt?
Bro, you got hurt? Whohurts you? Like? What's going
on? Like? Can we resolvethis? Can we go? Let's do
a therapy session real quick? Butthis is this is how much I care.
We see, That's what I'm saying. And I feel like a lot
of times people people just you know, continue to toxicity back and forth,
(17:40):
back and forth, back and forth, and there's no resolution, you know,
and they just put it under therud you know what I mean.
So it's just like, well,we're gonna double back. We're gonna double
back. Never mind, you're hidingstuff. Okay, let me ask you
this, because this is a goodsegment. How do you handle criticism or
negative feedback from someone you want tokeep in your life. And this is
(18:04):
coming back from this whole thing,like you know, what I mean,
how do you handle criticism or negativefeedback from people that you want to continue
relations in that life? Me,you meet your personal I really I love
this question because I used to bea hardhead. I never used to take
(18:30):
I used to be really sensitive.Y'all can talk, y'all ship, I
don't care. I don't care,but like I'm learning that just take a
head on, just take ahead on, take it for what it is,
reflect on it, okay, andand that that causes a conversation between the
(18:56):
two of you, and like causethe conversation to like and your benefit to
help yourself. And I think it'sa beautiful thing to me. I think,
I think I think you can afullike I would. I would,
I would handle it, and theI'll say in a good way. Okay,
(19:18):
in a good way, because nobody'sperfect. No, No, you're
right, you're right, because likeI'm I'm in this. I'm in like
you asking this questions. I'm inthis right now. Yeah, you know
what I mean. I feel likeI feel like we go through criticism all
the time. People. Yeah,the way I handle it, I look
at it half empty, half full, and I look at it as okay,
(19:41):
cool, like you know what Imean. If I but I'm more
of lead by example, lead byexample. So if I could take criticism
and take feedback and take it,take it on the chin as you can
say, and keep trucking, I'mhoping that you could do the same thing.
You know what I mean, Soyou know what I mean, And
that's and that's and that's the thing. So I and that and that's big
(20:04):
because if obviously, like if you'reif you're critique or giving somebody, and
I hope you're doing this for yourself, correct, you know what I mean.
If if you're not able to dothe same thing for yourself, then
I'm looking at you really funny.I'm looking at you really funny, just
because guess what, Yeah, it'snot it's it's a one way street.
(20:25):
Now, it's not a two waystreet as long as we're both like looking
for better in our lives, likecorrect, and you're doing your critiquing me
like I want, I'll take thatcritique with the grain of salt. But
I'm hoping that you're putting your moneywhere your mouth is being what I'm saying,
like, because I wouldn't want tobe with a hypocrite and like later
(20:47):
on, later on, like Iasked you those same questions and you acting
different now, Yeah, you justyou just giving me pushback and being like
yo, like this and this andthat, and I'm like, yo,
I'm just toxicity. And that's whatI'm saying though, because I think,
like I said, the relationships aretwo way street people. It's a two
way street, and it's a giveand take. But like like I said,
in order for you to want thesame feedback and the same results,
(21:15):
you gotta lead, you know whatI mean. Somebody gotta take the lead,
and someone gotta be like, allright, cool, you know what,
appreciate that. I'm gonna work onthis. But then if I give
you some feedback, you can't doall this. And that's what I'm saying.
I'm like says, take off theband in and put down a knife.
Come on, come on, becauseit's much energy you putting into relationship
with everything and how you're trying tolike help me out. I'm gonna do
(21:38):
the same for you, So Ihope you're giving me that same energy,
you know what I'm saying. That'sall I asked for to like what I
wouldn't say, what's the hardest criticismthat you took, like and this doesn't
have to be relationships anything. Artistcriticism took mm hmm h Before I used
(22:07):
to fall too deep, And Isay that was just like from THEE in
the second place, Uh leave medown now like I used to. I
(22:33):
was, I was, I was. I fell for somebody too deep.
After like a week, it wasjust the vibe was just fire. And
but I like, I started toyou know, I started to like get
a little jealous because I forgot thatwe were just like we were in a
dating using Yeah you you you felthard. I felt hard, and I
(23:00):
you know, she said, don'tyou gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself?
It was something like that. Itwas more it was it was she
she said it more nicer than thatbecause she knows I come from a nice,
a better, a good place.But I was just I sent her
a paragraph and it just yeah,what's you know what? Yeah? Yeah,
(23:26):
it was just too much. Itwas just too much, too soon,
like what I'm saying. So sheshe checked me and then like we
just want to separate. So itkind of it hurt, But I like,
you have to learn from those thingsbecause you can't just dwell on that
you can't you can't know what I'msaying, but that that's the only thing
(23:47):
I could think of. That's whatI'm saying. Like right now, like
real quick, I did legs withShorty and I'm thinking I'm doing the workouts
right, and she's literally like you'redoing it right, like m yeah,
but like I'm in a space whereI'm like, I'm still I'm a sponge
right now. So I'm like,oh, ship one, that's sexy.
(24:11):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Counterpart is you know what I mean,
helping you out? Hell yeah,it's not sexy. And then then
you know some king and queen ship, so like it just shows like oh
ship, Like I say, that'ssimple. It's like still like I was
getting I was like annoyed because I'mlike, but I was getting annoyed at
the fact I was doing it wrongthis whole time. Side like yeah,
(24:33):
we actually get real quick, man, Okay, okay, out of time,
okay, real quick with me.It's you know, my my,
my, my moment of criticism wason the football field. My coach he
had told me straight up and Ididn't know how to take that. He
(24:56):
was like, yo, what's uplike you know, in one bar he
said, Yo, listen, hedon't get comfortable. I'm looking for the
upgrade of you. I didn't knowhow to take that. Bet. I
like how you just talked about itin a general Yeah, I like that.
Okay, my bad. I'm thinkinglike yeah, yeah, yeah,
okay, yeah, I'm like,I'm trying to stick to like everything we
(25:18):
were talking. Okay, yeah that'swhat I'm saying, like in any aspect.
Yeah okay, yeah, yeah,okay, yeah, you it's crazy.
Okay, I respect that. Ireally quicked out the blue. Would
you rather party with Diddy or snitchon your home? That's funny. Would
(25:41):
you rather listen folks out there orsnitch on your home? Oh my god,
I'm not. I'm gonna be honest. I know the I know the
logical neither. Bro. You gottapick you gotta pick on that man.
(26:06):
You gotta add to this. Ican't. It's hard because I don't want
to party with you, Apol whatbro? Like? Like did he ruined
it for everybody? Even more likeI don't want to party with Diddy.
(26:27):
I don't wanna know. Oh yeah, we're gonna yo, We're gonna lead
that for another. You got anypositive, positive feedback to get back to
the people. Yeah, I don't. I think going off of everything we
(26:52):
talked about, it's okay to notentertain the bullshit. Mm hmm. You
don't have to, Like you havea choice. That's where I'm coming from,
Like it's okay, like you,you can give energy to something that
(27:14):
actually serves you. The bullshit doesn'tserve you. And it depends on what
the bullshit is. Like everybody's everybody'ssituation is different. I don't like that.
I need to I need to listen. Listen guys, a little bit
(27:37):
of words of wisdom before I go? Or you sure there's that too,
Like why are you doing so much? You don't have to do so much,
see your as, enjoy your life, stop being so pressed. Like
if you with a good person,enjoy that ship. Ruin it if that's
(28:02):
the case. But if you likethe toxicity, that's it you And I
hope I hope you. I hopeyou get something out of it. But
I know, damn, let's everget words of wisdom because I feel like
I feel like you're about to letread a scription that she likes. Let
(28:22):
me get this, he said,turn the poems up fourteen. Oh,
do you a little bit of wordsof wisdom? People? Man? You
sure? I don't want to getnone of your little hoes upset female that
reads a comic secsion more of thestory. If we're done, then we
(28:47):
done. Don't text me because I'lltext you back. Stay toxic, guys.
Man, listen, man, Iwant to thank you. Guys walking
out with us for another episode ofBeings Coons was off the books. Guys,
I got my man J back inthe building. Jay really quick.
How could they reach you? Youalready know that most of the third on
Instagram. It's gonna be, It'sgonna be down by, down below.
(29:12):
You already know. I'm everywhere,He's everywhere, He's every here, he's
everywhere. He's never dead. Andthat's literally my life is. Guys went
to the next Time Man Situations
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.