September 16, 2025 • 27 mins
AJ (@ajandhisbackpack) and Patrice are back stirring the pot in a no-holds-barred convo! From “I deserve better” — real truth or just ego trip — to why men struggle with vulnerability, and whether cheating hits different depending on gender, they’re serving the hot takes with zero filter. It’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy… and you don’t wanna miss it.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
U y Jay McLaughlin, I'm Ryan Ruie, I'm DJ Rich,
I receive the tough FO. I'm Clinny Martinez and we
are the hosts of Opinions and Consequences, the podcast, the
show where Europeans can lead to consequences. So choose your
words wisely. Joy the show. Hey, yayyy yay, Diddy Diddy Bob,
(00:26):
did you know what I mean? Listen? Man, guys man, listen,
Welcome back to another episode of A Pensa Consols off
the Books. I know I've been gone for a minute,
but I'm back in the jump off. Listen. Man, I'm
not gonna I'm not gonna bore you with why I've
been gone or why we've been off here for a
(00:46):
little bit. But listen, we got Patrice back in the
building ready to talk that talk you what's part do me? Man,
I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Greezyey breezyezy. What does that mean? Jo Yo? This smell?
How you been? I've been great, been great. I see
you out here glowing, you out here on your little glows.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yes, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
People, Oh he does. How's it's been good? I mean,
I know you just got back from where am i Evah?
My god, yeah, I just came back from Duras man,
So like, yo, man, how is it out there? Man?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
It is?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
It? Is? It always like something different, like when you
go back there, like you always are you trying new
things or like all the time.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Tis like we're not really reminiscing this time. I was
with my dad day. I'm emancipation day.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's what's up. It was good. That's what's up man.
That's that's dope. That's dope because it's like, yo, like
I just went back to people really quick, man, It's
it's different. It's different. Mom took me to the mall
all this extra stuff, talk about get this the mall,
and I'm just like, okay, cool cool. But see that's
what I'm saying, Like, okay, we're gonna get right into
the meat and potatoes. People. Man, We're talking about some greasy, controversial,
(02:25):
thought provoking stuff today. Guys. Listen. This episode is called
Know Your Worth or Overprice It? Know your Worth or
Overprice It? Guys, listen, ma'am, let me get to it. Listen.
Is I is I quote? Is I deserve better? Always true?
Or sometimes just egle talk to me. Oh is once again? People,
(02:53):
is I deserve better? Always true? Or sometimes just ego
talk to me?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I mean it can be ego. It depends on the person.
But then again it depends on the culture as well,
because I can I can tell you all day, oh aj,
I deserve better. But then again it comes from my
background on my culture.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Okay, upbringing, I'm with you on that one. I want
you on that. Talk to me.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So I'm gonna use me as an example coming in
this country with nothing, you know, as an immigrant. Now
I'm a citizen and now look where I am today.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay, So it's like it's okay. So so in other words,
it's now I'm playing Devil's advocate people. So, but is
it is? It? Is it? I deserve people? I deserve
better based off of how you came up, or based
off of how other people should treat.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
You based off how I came up, because I don't
really look for, you know, an individual to treat me
what they see from the outside. You get what I'm saying.
They can they can look at me the they can
look at me all day. Old Patrisa is this. She
has an accent. She's pretty she's tall, she looks like
i'd but you guys don't know why I've been through.
So that's why I tell myself every day I deserve better.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
It has nothing to do with my ego, So it's
it's more so about how you came up, how you
how you came from the mud, and to the point
that you. I think I think we could word it better.
I think I think I deserve better should be worded
a little better, because it could it could almost sound
(04:30):
like it's because I feel like I feel like you
when you say I deserve better, or if I say
I deserve better people, I just feel like it's our standard. Yep,
like we've we've we've leveled up our standard people. And
that's how I'm looking at it. I don't care. I
don't know what you how you guys are visioning anything
like that, but I feel like our standard, just like
(04:51):
she's saying, like she came from the mud, you know,
at the bottom shoes. Probably she was good with just
Dominoes and some chicken kickers, but now but now she
bad and boogie. She want to go to SDKs. She
want to go to sugar factory and get the bad bits. Drink.
Just don't do that, don't do that, don't stop it,
(05:12):
behave so But my whole thing is I understand that.
I totally understand that. Now, Now does it vary based
off the person? Because you know what I mean? Because
you gotta think about it like that too. It's just
like you know, I feel like I feel like a
lot of us we can't get the standard from everybody,
(05:33):
and we gotta we gotta start picking and choosing, like
what are we willing to sacrifice? Are we willing to
lower our standard for this portion to up our lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
M mmmmmmm. That's a tough one. Talk to me, that's
a tough one. You see some people, some some humans,
they project their their energy. Yeah, and that goes for
what you just said. So is are we willing to
fall fall into that that little click that they got
(06:09):
going on? So you see, they're projecting their energy onto us,
and it's up to us to be like, well we
accept your type of that type of behavior. You get
what I'm saying, I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
With you, I'm with you, I'm picking up what you're
putting down, yep. Because it comes back down to people
like you don't mean because coming back to a question
like is the eve better or is it feeding an ego?
I just feel like a lot of times we get
our ego fed by our surroundings, like our group chat yep, yep,
you know you got your girls and be like ei
(06:40):
s h people by the way, like you know what
I mean, like you deserve he should be taking into
bad bye that I don't still know what they've reaching for,
you know what I mean? I don't know, I don't know,
but like that's what I feel like a lot of
group chats influence. Yeah, beer peers into stuff that one
(07:02):
they don't perceive as oh I really don't care for
that girl.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
But yes, yes, it's influence is influence.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yep, ye talk to me, talk to me. Wait, what
was that question that you had you you you were
saying something about why is a man.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Why is it so hard for a man to be
vulnerable from a woman that he cares for deeply?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Okay, So I'm a piggyback based off this last conversation.
How she said, like, your up a lot of stuff.
I feel like, you know, it's very tough for depends
how you were raised, depends on this on how the
situations that you were brought up in it's you know,
a man has always been taught to be a man right.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Like a provider, a protector.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So it's you know, and I'm just speaking for me,
but I feel like a lot of times, like it
depends on how you was brought up, if you are
a competitor or you like, because it's it's different. It's
different because you you have this masculinity where it's just
like we've always like, for example, for me, like you know,
I played football all this extra stuff. Like a lot
(08:25):
of times like yo, when the coach was like getting
on you pause, but like it was one of those
things where it was just like, yo, how do I
not tear up or be like damn, yo, I ain't
ship while this dude is just laughing and like while
he whi he while he's cloud to me, while he's
telling me someone's gonna take my spot. You just gotta
(08:46):
be like got that.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's where your masculine energy kicks in.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
That's when we we guarded. Yep, we guarded and and
and it's and it's one of those things where sometimes
it it is a little bit more tougher.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
To when it comes to relationship, when it.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Comes out to because it depends how much how much
I don't want and I don't want to put it
as trauma. I don't like putting that shit because I
don't feel like, you know what I mean, I had
football trauma. But like because like YO, like mentally like yo,
people know if you athlete, YO, like coaches mentally try
to break you down just so you can either be better,
perform better, do better, all the extra stuff. You know
(09:27):
that if you're a true athlete. But like, my thing
is just like this, but it's it's once you start
getting that embedded into you, it's so tough to sit
there and.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Be like, how do I dismiss it?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
How do I dismiss it? So it's it's it's levels,
it's levels, and you know, sometimes you know, you know,
you find yourself catering or or or better lack of terms,
like you know what I mean, like being like all right,
let me open up a little bit more, let me
be sensitive, let me m hmm.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
But the counterpart but then to sometimes when you see
how you said guarded, that makes sense too, because you
don't know if you're gonna get hurt mm hmmm. I
mean sports being an athlete, versus being intimate but someone
it's it's it falls in the same.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Category, yes or no, yes or no, But it depends
on what what level you into, Like it depends on
what the level you went too, like you know what
I mean, if you if you as a professional athlete,
you know what I mean, It's it's a little bit
more because this is this is like one of those
things where it's it's like, yo, bro, this is the
difference between you not getting should we go to commercial commercial?
(10:49):
Go to commercial? Okay, damn, it's like no, but go
back to it. Like, but it's like one of those
things where it's being a professional athlete, you know what
I mean, you have to deal with so much more. Yes,
you have to deal with so much more trauma in
(11:10):
terms of it being like yo, man, this is crazy
because you know people out there taking your spot or
want to take your spot. You got your coach breathing
on your back, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And then you have your teammates, you have your fans,
you have your coaches, you have your family, all those
people depending on you.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Talk about it, talk about it. No, it is tough.
So I so to answer your question, I'm not gonna
sit here and tell you that it's it's hard to
be vulnerable, but it depends on what what that man
has been through, and it can go vice versa people,
(11:50):
you know what I mean. There's a lot of females
out there that you know, they've gone through their little
tough times and you know, and they got there, They
got there, their whole relationship, their feelings got it, yo,
Like you know what I mean, Like and they're scared
to get into their soft girl erar you know what
I mean. But that's the Yeah, look.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
At you because that's me.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but see that's what I'm
saying though, so equally, like I feel like a lot
of times people just have to be understanding to the fact, like, Yo,
it can work either way, you know what I mean.
Ye talk to me, I got you, guys, I got
you guys. Ye listen, let me ask you this, all right.
(12:29):
Why isn't that if a man cheats, he's trash. Listen
to people. If a man cheat, HEAs trash. But if
a women cheats, it's because she was not emotionally fulfilled,
all right.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
That can go both ways. So yes, it's you know, honestly,
depends on the generation, because yes, I've heard that, I've
heard that term. A man cheats, he's trash. A woman cheats,
she's looking to fill a void. But then again, it
could go both ways, because a man can cheat because
he's not getting it in a relationship. And that's why
(13:11):
I don't like when females blame it. Always blame it
on a man because he can be faithful in a
relationship and then the minute he decides to step out,
he's shrashed. But he can be looking he is, he
could he could probably be doing that because he's not
getting it from his significant other.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I'm with that, Yeah, But.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
If a woman cheats, now she's it's always like I said,
as the generation never wrong. She's looking for to fill
a void or she's emotionally on stable. That's not necessarily true.
A woman I want let's do it. I want know
(13:54):
all jokes aside. A woman cheats. A woman can cheat
because she just want to cheat. You just want to
try stuff, You just want to experience stuff. And that's
the truth. That's the truth.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Listen, man, I I got I I gotta agree, you
know what I mean? Because I feel like I feel
like a lot of it is. It could go either way.
It could go either way. Like you know what I mean,
some some men ain't ship you know what I mean, right,
one thousand. But at the same time, some women, some
females ain't ship too.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
That's that's, that's And then my whole thing is just
like you can't just reword it and rephrase it to
just make it seem like, oh my god, No, it's
because of this and this and that and no.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
But the biggest, the biggest thing is with these females
and these men, is that accountability.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Then go talk to me. Does talk to me? Talk
to me? So how do you feel? How do you
feel someone is not accountable?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So from a woman's standpoint, you know, she gets her
significant other finds out she was cheating or whatever, and
she tries to blame it. Well, you're working too much
and we hardly see each other. Nah, that's not an excuse.
That's not an excuse. Because when two people are in
a relationship and they bonded together and they're working together
(15:15):
and they on the same page together. When you guys
got when you guys got issues, you gotta work it
out together.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
See when when you see the vein pop out. You
see the veins on her net. I mean she's talking
from the hall, ye with it?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah, but it's like but it's like, that's the truth.
And this is why I have a hard time keeping
friends because accountability doesn't fall in the category. It's not
any vocabulary like I like, let's make it make sense.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
No, it's true, though, it's true. People like listen, man, you.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Gotta be more accountable on the stuff that we say,
because I just I do feel like a lot of
us we we want to consider and we want to
think that we are accountable for our actions, but we
really don't hold up to ourselves for it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
We just say like, yeah, I know what I did,
but it is what it is. Like, No, it's not
what it is like, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Just stop right now, and I hold myself to my
actions like that.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I don't know if you heard about the Chicagi joint.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh I did that?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Mm hmm exactly. Okay. What was your other question though
about the cheat.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Cheating?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah? I know, I know you said something about does
a man cheat? Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, yes, does a man cheat because of his ego
or dissatisfaction or do they cheat because they lack maturity
and emotional development.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Guys, I got you on this from the stories I've
heard thus the years. You know, I feel like I
feel like it's you know, it's it's it's a little
bit of both. It's a little bit of both. I
(17:23):
feel like, you know, as you're when you're in a
younger phase, you know, and I feel like with this
with everybody, you know, you're trying to find yourself and
all that extra stuff. You know. You know, a guy
may step out of his relationship because of the statist dissatisfaction. However,
not want to break up because of I don't know
(17:49):
if it's more so because of commitment or because of
fear of not finding something better less. It's a little
but you know what I mean. I do think that
a lot of it is it depends on, like I said,
how you was brought up, Like your maturity level does
play a factor into it, just because I feel like
(18:12):
a gentleman, like you know a lot of guys that
you know, you guys may not be emotionally intelligent, emotionally available.
Doesn't mean that you're not a man. But it's just
like yo, sometimes you have to go through stuff in
order to appreciate stuff, you know what I mean, And
I tell people like all the time. I feel like
(18:32):
you got to know yourself, know your worth and all
of this stuff to understand what's going to help you
be better in your life. I feel like until a
man or a female knows what they want, like you're
always gonna step out, Like you know what I mean.
I feel like I feel like the biggest part about
like cheating and doing all this extra stuff is the
fact that you haven't fully fulfilled your comfort of what
(18:59):
you're what's fulfilled with your standards, Like you know what
I mean. A lot of times people feel like, no,
I need to be here. I need to be here,
like I need to do that's six to make six figures.
He gotta be muscular, this and this and that. But
sis is working at Popeyes. Make it make sense, Like,
(19:21):
no disrespect, but make it make sense, you know what
I mean. But a lot of people they don't understand that.
But you have to understand it. And it's kind of
like it's kind of like it's kind of like people
understanding money, like you know what I mean. Like I
just feel like, you know, I was having a conversation
with somebody not too long ago. But like there's you're
you're a woman, I'm a man, but then there's an
(19:43):
adult like you know what I mean, Like we're all women,
you're viewers, you're a woman, you're a man. But then
there's the adult, like you know what I mean. So
and being an adult, you have to make executive decisions
meaning like yo, like okay, this doesn't make sense or
this makes sense, like you know what I mean. Per
for example, Uh, okay, you guys are tight on budget,
(20:07):
whatever the case is, like we're not going to roof Chris,
but you know what I mean. But at the same time,
I want to take you out. I want to go.
I want to take you to Ruth Chris and Morton's.
Like I'm like, yo, you know what, We're gonna go
to Morton's. We're gonna go to Ruth Chris. But this
is how you're like this, Oh shit, yo, we ain't
got the bread like that, Like, but now you go
(20:27):
to Morton's, Rucus, You're like, oh no, these prices are ridiculous.
Let's go somewhere else. See that's adult shit. That's adult shit,
like because then now like both of you guys can
make that decision on being like all right, cool, like
you know, we're gonna rock out with this, so we're
not gonna rock out with it. I just feel like,
you know, a lot of people are just not adults.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
And you've said you've made the prefect like perfect example,
because this is where the individuals who don't know how
to be an adult.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Because they would go oh and yeah, dead asks.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
They would eat the food, pretend for the audience, pretend
for social media when the bill comes huh damn hot
you have. So I made all that big fuss on
social media for the audience and everything, but I don't
get that money in my bank account. Yeah, so that's
where being an adult, an adult comes in.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah, and that's that ass. That's tod ass people like
so not shine away from everything, like you know what
I mean. It's it's tough. It's tough people, but you
have to understand, like, yo, this is the reality of
the people, Like you know what I mean, Like you know,
I'm not saying the encourage them. I'm telling you, like
the reason why people step out of certain relationships and all,
it's just that they don't understand what what is going
(21:47):
to what is they don't have a plan in terms
of being like, yo, everybody has an idea. They fantasize
about the idea. They fantasize about the idea, but it's
not concrete. It's like, yo, listen, I need I want this,
I want that, I want this. Boom. If I get that,
I'm all in. But then it's just now they start
chevy picking. They start chevy picking all different days, like
(22:08):
whoa damn, I kind of wish you. I kind of
wish uh that's oh my god, Like you know what
I mean. You can't. You're not gonna get the perfect person,
big dog Like, That's that's what you gotta realize when
men and females, men and women like you gotta realize
you're not gonna get the perfect catch. So you gotta
take an L somewhere. You're gonna take an L somewhere. Bro,
(22:32):
She might snore, She might sound like a Honda Civic
and in the bed like a Tudor. She might sound
like that. That might be a pet peeve of yours.
But you like, yo, bro, am I gonna take this?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Or am I gonna?
Speaker 1 (22:46):
And that's what it is. But I feel but you
gotta come to peace at that jeezus crazy. But all
in all, man, like I think, I think doubling back, ego, dissatisfaction, maturity,
(23:07):
it all comes in, joy, it all comes around. And listen, guys,
we're gonna get to this rapid fire questions. Man, Listen,
one word answers, man. We're not gonna stay too long
on this. Listen, all right, pat, here's my question. Is
knowing your worth the same as overestimating it? Is knowing
your worth same thing as overestimating it? I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
No, No, why would I overestimate my worth?
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Because there's a lot of people that do they be
thinking that they.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
They're looking from the outside.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
M yeah, I'm gonna keep it moving. Guys, you heard this. Okay?
Is closure a real need or just an excuse to
send that one last text? Talk to me? Is closure
a real need or an excuse to sending that last text?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I think it's a real need. I think so. You
tell me, no, I think so it's a real need
because sometimes it's like doing the same thing every day.
Sometimes you gotta take a step back and put a
pause to it and and do a like a some moment.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Okay, closure, Okay, I'm not listening, guys, I'm not. I'm
not I'm not gonna come. I'm not gonna come for like,
I'm just saying though, that's what she got going on?
Then go ahead, what cusses you got, Let's do it?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Which is scarier from me in saying I love you?
Or crying in front of.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Her? Yeah, mm hmm, I ain't gonna lie. I'll probably
say crying, crying in front of her, crying in front
of her, crying in front of him.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I am.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I'm not afraid to say I love you like you
know what I mean, adulting emotionally mature. Yeah, go ahead.
What's the next one?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
All right? Which is harder? Lifting three thousand pounds or
saying I'm scared. We already know I.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Ain't gonna hold you three ain't nothing for me scared
he telling somebody I'm scared, or telling anybody I'm scared
now that that that's that's scary. I don't, I don't,
I can't do that. That's just good, you know what
I mean. That's that's that's based on confidence level. Man,
that's like yo, I feel like yo, I ain't got
no confidence and all that extra stuff. It ain't gonna comfort me.
(25:44):
But listen, before we get out of here, man, listen,
you got any toxic or positive stuff to say?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Positive?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Okay, talk to me.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Listen for all of the women and men out there
that's going through anything traumatic and you've finally found someone
in your life to make you feel finally at peace.
Put the Put the past behind you. Please put the
past behind you, because going into a new relationship, going
into a new a new jit stuff things. Bringing that
(26:23):
past into that new relationship is going to mess your
wole shit up. Leave the past behind you in In other.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Words, keep that trauma. I don't get into nothing that
you like you just just heal yourself first and then
after that, jump into.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
The wall exactly like an alligator.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Like an alligator.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
What makes you say because I'm scared of them, I
can say I'm scared of alligat feel thank you. I
like you.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Guy's been a little bit of words of wisdom. Before
we get out of here, man, listen, hold on to
your world in me, hold on to your world. More
of the story. Fuck closure. I need to know how
am I gonna get my money back. I'm just saying though,
(27:16):
I'm just saying I'm keeping in the Honey, you know
how mean I'm talking to people. Listen, I listen. I
want to thank you guys for walking out with another
episode of Pens Consequences Off the books. We got patriced
back in the building. Man, she out here? Okay, listen,
(27:37):
man till next time. Mutations cheer, Oh did he Ba
U y Jay McLaughlin, I'm Ryan Ruie, I'm DJ Rich,
I receive the tough FO. I'm Clinny Martinez and we
are the hosts of Opinions and Consequences, the podcast, the
show where Europeans can lead to consequences. So choose your
words wisely. Joy the show. Hey, yayyy yay, Diddy Diddy Bob,
(00:26):
did you know what I mean? Listen? Man, guys man, listen,
Welcome back to another episode of A Pensa Consols off
the Books. I know I've been gone for a minute,
but I'm back in the jump off. Listen. Man, I'm
not gonna I'm not gonna bore you with why I've
been gone or why we've been off here for a
(00:46):
little bit. But listen, we got Patrice back in the
building ready to talk that talk you what's part do me? Man,
I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm listening.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Greezyey breezyezy. What does that mean? Jo Yo? This smell?
How you been? I've been great, been great. I see
you out here glowing, you out here on your little glows.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yes, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
People, Oh he does. How's it's been good? I mean,
I know you just got back from where am i Evah?
My god, yeah, I just came back from Duras man,
So like, yo, man, how is it out there? Man?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
It is?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
It? Is? It always like something different, like when you
go back there, like you always are you trying new
things or like all the time.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Tis like we're not really reminiscing this time. I was
with my dad day. I'm emancipation day.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's what's up. It was good. That's what's up man.
That's that's dope. That's dope because it's like, yo, like
I just went back to people really quick, man, It's
it's different. It's different. Mom took me to the mall
all this extra stuff, talk about get this the mall,
and I'm just like, okay, cool cool. But see that's
what I'm saying, Like, okay, we're gonna get right into
the meat and potatoes. People. Man, We're talking about some greasy, controversial,
(02:25):
thought provoking stuff today. Guys. Listen. This episode is called
Know Your Worth or Overprice It? Know your Worth or
Overprice It? Guys, listen, ma'am, let me get to it. Listen.
Is I is I quote? Is I deserve better? Always true?
Or sometimes just egle talk to me. Oh is once again? People,
(02:53):
is I deserve better? Always true? Or sometimes just ego
talk to me?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I mean it can be ego. It depends on the person.
But then again it depends on the culture as well,
because I can I can tell you all day, oh aj,
I deserve better. But then again it comes from my
background on my culture.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Okay, upbringing, I'm with you on that one. I want
you on that. Talk to me.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So I'm gonna use me as an example coming in
this country with nothing, you know, as an immigrant. Now
I'm a citizen and now look where I am today.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Okay, So it's like it's okay. So so in other words,
it's now I'm playing Devil's advocate people. So, but is
it is? It? Is it? I deserve people? I deserve
better based off of how you came up, or based
off of how other people should treat.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
You based off how I came up, because I don't
really look for, you know, an individual to treat me
what they see from the outside. You get what I'm saying.
They can they can look at me the they can
look at me all day. Old Patrisa is this. She
has an accent. She's pretty she's tall, she looks like
i'd but you guys don't know why I've been through.
So that's why I tell myself every day I deserve better.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
It has nothing to do with my ego, So it's
it's more so about how you came up, how you
how you came from the mud, and to the point
that you. I think I think we could word it better.
I think I think I deserve better should be worded
a little better, because it could it could almost sound
(04:30):
like it's because I feel like I feel like you
when you say I deserve better, or if I say
I deserve better people, I just feel like it's our standard. Yep,
like we've we've we've leveled up our standard people. And
that's how I'm looking at it. I don't care. I
don't know what you how you guys are visioning anything
like that, but I feel like our standard, just like
(04:51):
she's saying, like she came from the mud, you know,
at the bottom shoes. Probably she was good with just
Dominoes and some chicken kickers, but now but now she
bad and boogie. She want to go to SDKs. She
want to go to sugar factory and get the bad bits. Drink.
Just don't do that, don't do that, don't stop it,
(05:12):
behave so But my whole thing is I understand that.
I totally understand that. Now, Now does it vary based
off the person? Because you know what I mean? Because
you gotta think about it like that too. It's just
like you know, I feel like I feel like a
lot of us we can't get the standard from everybody,
(05:33):
and we gotta we gotta start picking and choosing, like
what are we willing to sacrifice? Are we willing to
lower our standard for this portion to up our lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
M mmmmmmm. That's a tough one. Talk to me, that's
a tough one. You see some people, some some humans,
they project their their energy. Yeah, and that goes for
what you just said. So is are we willing to
fall fall into that that little click that they got
(06:09):
going on? So you see, they're projecting their energy onto us,
and it's up to us to be like, well we
accept your type of that type of behavior. You get
what I'm saying, I'm.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
With you, I'm with you, I'm picking up what you're
putting down, yep. Because it comes back down to people
like you don't mean because coming back to a question
like is the eve better or is it feeding an ego?
I just feel like a lot of times we get
our ego fed by our surroundings, like our group chat yep, yep,
you know you got your girls and be like ei
(06:40):
s h people by the way, like you know what
I mean, like you deserve he should be taking into
bad bye that I don't still know what they've reaching for,
you know what I mean? I don't know, I don't know,
but like that's what I feel like a lot of
group chats influence. Yeah, beer peers into stuff that one
(07:02):
they don't perceive as oh I really don't care for
that girl.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
But yes, yes, it's influence is influence.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yep, ye talk to me, talk to me. Wait, what
was that question that you had you you you were
saying something about why is a man.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Why is it so hard for a man to be
vulnerable from a woman that he cares for deeply?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Okay, So I'm a piggyback based off this last conversation.
How she said, like, your up a lot of stuff.
I feel like, you know, it's very tough for depends
how you were raised, depends on this on how the
situations that you were brought up in it's you know,
a man has always been taught to be a man right.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Like a provider, a protector.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So it's you know, and I'm just speaking for me,
but I feel like a lot of times, like it
depends on how you was brought up, if you are
a competitor or you like, because it's it's different. It's
different because you you have this masculinity where it's just
like we've always like, for example, for me, like you know,
I played football all this extra stuff. Like a lot
(08:25):
of times like yo, when the coach was like getting
on you pause, but like it was one of those
things where it was just like, yo, how do I
not tear up or be like damn, yo, I ain't
ship while this dude is just laughing and like while
he whi he while he's cloud to me, while he's
telling me someone's gonna take my spot. You just gotta
(08:46):
be like got that.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's where your masculine energy kicks in.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
That's when we we guarded. Yep, we guarded and and
and it's and it's one of those things where sometimes
it it is a little bit more tougher.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
To when it comes to relationship, when it.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Comes out to because it depends how much how much
I don't want and I don't want to put it
as trauma. I don't like putting that shit because I
don't feel like, you know what I mean, I had
football trauma. But like because like YO, like mentally like yo,
people know if you athlete, YO, like coaches mentally try
to break you down just so you can either be better,
perform better, do better, all the extra stuff. You know
(09:27):
that if you're a true athlete. But like, my thing
is just like this, but it's it's once you start
getting that embedded into you, it's so tough to sit
there and.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Be like, how do I dismiss it?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
How do I dismiss it? So it's it's it's levels,
it's levels, and you know, sometimes you know, you know,
you find yourself catering or or or better lack of terms,
like you know what I mean, like being like all right,
let me open up a little bit more, let me
be sensitive, let me m hmm.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
But the counterpart but then to sometimes when you see
how you said guarded, that makes sense too, because you
don't know if you're gonna get hurt mm hmmm. I
mean sports being an athlete, versus being intimate but someone
it's it's it falls in the same.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Category, yes or no, yes or no, But it depends
on what what level you into, Like it depends on
what the level you went too, like you know what
I mean, if you if you as a professional athlete,
you know what I mean, It's it's a little bit
more because this is this is like one of those
things where it's it's like, yo, bro, this is the
difference between you not getting should we go to commercial commercial?
(10:49):
Go to commercial? Okay, damn, it's like no, but go
back to it. Like, but it's like one of those
things where it's being a professional athlete, you know what
I mean, you have to deal with so much more. Yes,
you have to deal with so much more trauma in
(11:10):
terms of it being like yo, man, this is crazy
because you know people out there taking your spot or
want to take your spot. You got your coach breathing
on your back, all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And then you have your teammates, you have your fans,
you have your coaches, you have your family, all those
people depending on you.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Talk about it, talk about it. No, it is tough.
So I so to answer your question, I'm not gonna
sit here and tell you that it's it's hard to
be vulnerable, but it depends on what what that man
has been through, and it can go vice versa people,
(11:50):
you know what I mean. There's a lot of females
out there that you know, they've gone through their little
tough times and you know, and they got there, They
got there, their whole relationship, their feelings got it, yo,
Like you know what I mean, Like and they're scared
to get into their soft girl erar you know what
I mean. But that's the Yeah, look.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
At you because that's me.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but see that's what I'm
saying though, so equally, like I feel like a lot
of times people just have to be understanding to the fact, like, Yo,
it can work either way, you know what I mean.
Ye talk to me, I got you, guys, I got
you guys. Ye listen, let me ask you this, all right.
(12:29):
Why isn't that if a man cheats, he's trash. Listen
to people. If a man cheat, HEAs trash. But if
a women cheats, it's because she was not emotionally fulfilled,
all right.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
That can go both ways. So yes, it's you know, honestly,
depends on the generation, because yes, I've heard that, I've
heard that term. A man cheats, he's trash. A woman cheats,
she's looking to fill a void. But then again, it
could go both ways, because a man can cheat because
he's not getting it in a relationship. And that's why
(13:11):
I don't like when females blame it. Always blame it
on a man because he can be faithful in a
relationship and then the minute he decides to step out,
he's shrashed. But he can be looking he is, he
could he could probably be doing that because he's not
getting it from his significant other.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I'm with that, Yeah, But.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
If a woman cheats, now she's it's always like I said,
as the generation never wrong. She's looking for to fill
a void or she's emotionally on stable. That's not necessarily true.
A woman I want let's do it. I want know
(13:54):
all jokes aside. A woman cheats. A woman can cheat
because she just want to cheat. You just want to
try stuff, You just want to experience stuff. And that's
the truth. That's the truth.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Listen, man, I I got I I gotta agree, you
know what I mean? Because I feel like I feel
like a lot of it is. It could go either way.
It could go either way. Like you know what I mean,
some some men ain't ship you know what I mean, right,
one thousand. But at the same time, some women, some
females ain't ship too.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
That's that's, that's And then my whole thing is just
like you can't just reword it and rephrase it to
just make it seem like, oh my god, No, it's
because of this and this and that and no.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
But the biggest, the biggest thing is with these females
and these men, is that accountability.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Then go talk to me. Does talk to me? Talk
to me? So how do you feel? How do you
feel someone is not accountable?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So from a woman's standpoint, you know, she gets her
significant other finds out she was cheating or whatever, and
she tries to blame it. Well, you're working too much
and we hardly see each other. Nah, that's not an excuse.
That's not an excuse. Because when two people are in
a relationship and they bonded together and they're working together
(15:15):
and they on the same page together. When you guys
got when you guys got issues, you gotta work it
out together.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
See when when you see the vein pop out. You
see the veins on her net. I mean she's talking
from the hall, ye with it?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah, but it's like but it's like, that's the truth.
And this is why I have a hard time keeping
friends because accountability doesn't fall in the category. It's not
any vocabulary like I like, let's make it make sense.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
No, it's true, though, it's true. People like listen, man, you.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Gotta be more accountable on the stuff that we say,
because I just I do feel like a lot of
us we we want to consider and we want to
think that we are accountable for our actions, but we
really don't hold up to ourselves for it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
We just say like, yeah, I know what I did,
but it is what it is. Like, No, it's not
what it is like, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Just stop right now, and I hold myself to my
actions like that.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I don't know if you heard about the Chicagi joint.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh I did that?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Mm hmm exactly. Okay. What was your other question though
about the cheat.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Cheating?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah? I know, I know you said something about does
a man cheat? Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, yes, does a man cheat because of his ego
or dissatisfaction or do they cheat because they lack maturity
and emotional development.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Guys, I got you on this from the stories I've
heard thus the years. You know, I feel like I
feel like it's you know, it's it's it's a little
bit of both. It's a little bit of both. I
(17:23):
feel like, you know, as you're when you're in a
younger phase, you know, and I feel like with this
with everybody, you know, you're trying to find yourself and
all that extra stuff. You know. You know, a guy
may step out of his relationship because of the statist dissatisfaction. However,
not want to break up because of I don't know
(17:49):
if it's more so because of commitment or because of
fear of not finding something better less. It's a little
but you know what I mean. I do think that
a lot of it is it depends on, like I said,
how you was brought up, Like your maturity level does
play a factor into it, just because I feel like
(18:12):
a gentleman, like you know a lot of guys that
you know, you guys may not be emotionally intelligent, emotionally available.
Doesn't mean that you're not a man. But it's just
like yo, sometimes you have to go through stuff in
order to appreciate stuff, you know what I mean, And
I tell people like all the time. I feel like
(18:32):
you got to know yourself, know your worth and all
of this stuff to understand what's going to help you
be better in your life. I feel like until a
man or a female knows what they want, like you're
always gonna step out, Like you know what I mean.
I feel like I feel like the biggest part about
like cheating and doing all this extra stuff is the
fact that you haven't fully fulfilled your comfort of what
(18:59):
you're what's fulfilled with your standards, Like you know what
I mean. A lot of times people feel like, no,
I need to be here. I need to be here,
like I need to do that's six to make six figures.
He gotta be muscular, this and this and that. But
sis is working at Popeyes. Make it make sense, Like,
(19:21):
no disrespect, but make it make sense, you know what
I mean. But a lot of people they don't understand that.
But you have to understand it. And it's kind of
like it's kind of like it's kind of like people
understanding money, like you know what I mean. Like I
just feel like, you know, I was having a conversation
with somebody not too long ago. But like there's you're
you're a woman, I'm a man, but then there's an
(19:43):
adult like you know what I mean, Like we're all women,
you're viewers, you're a woman, you're a man. But then
there's the adult, like you know what I mean. So
and being an adult, you have to make executive decisions
meaning like yo, like okay, this doesn't make sense or
this makes sense, like you know what I mean. Per
for example, Uh, okay, you guys are tight on budget,
(20:07):
whatever the case is, like we're not going to roof Chris,
but you know what I mean. But at the same time,
I want to take you out. I want to go.
I want to take you to Ruth Chris and Morton's.
Like I'm like, yo, you know what, We're gonna go
to Morton's. We're gonna go to Ruth Chris. But this
is how you're like this, Oh shit, yo, we ain't
got the bread like that, Like, but now you go
(20:27):
to Morton's, Rucus, You're like, oh no, these prices are ridiculous.
Let's go somewhere else. See that's adult shit. That's adult shit,
like because then now like both of you guys can
make that decision on being like all right, cool, like
you know, we're gonna rock out with this, so we're
not gonna rock out with it. I just feel like,
you know, a lot of people are just not adults.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
And you've said you've made the prefect like perfect example,
because this is where the individuals who don't know how
to be an adult.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Because they would go oh and yeah, dead asks.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
They would eat the food, pretend for the audience, pretend
for social media when the bill comes huh damn hot
you have. So I made all that big fuss on
social media for the audience and everything, but I don't
get that money in my bank account. Yeah, so that's
where being an adult, an adult comes in.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah, and that's that ass. That's tod ass people like
so not shine away from everything, like you know what
I mean. It's it's tough. It's tough people, but you
have to understand, like, yo, this is the reality of
the people, Like you know what I mean, Like you know,
I'm not saying the encourage them. I'm telling you, like
the reason why people step out of certain relationships and all,
it's just that they don't understand what what is going
(21:47):
to what is they don't have a plan in terms
of being like, yo, everybody has an idea. They fantasize
about the idea. They fantasize about the idea, but it's
not concrete. It's like, yo, listen, I need I want this,
I want that, I want this. Boom. If I get that,
I'm all in. But then it's just now they start
chevy picking. They start chevy picking all different days, like
(22:08):
whoa damn, I kind of wish you. I kind of
wish uh that's oh my god, Like you know what
I mean. You can't. You're not gonna get the perfect person,
big dog Like, That's that's what you gotta realize when
men and females, men and women like you gotta realize
you're not gonna get the perfect catch. So you gotta
take an L somewhere. You're gonna take an L somewhere. Bro,
(22:32):
She might snore, She might sound like a Honda Civic
and in the bed like a Tudor. She might sound
like that. That might be a pet peeve of yours.
But you like, yo, bro, am I gonna take this?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Or am I gonna?
Speaker 1 (22:46):
And that's what it is. But I feel but you
gotta come to peace at that jeezus crazy. But all
in all, man, like I think, I think doubling back, ego, dissatisfaction, maturity,
(23:07):
it all comes in, joy, it all comes around. And listen, guys,
we're gonna get to this rapid fire questions. Man, Listen,
one word answers, man. We're not gonna stay too long
on this. Listen, all right, pat, here's my question. Is
knowing your worth the same as overestimating it? Is knowing
your worth same thing as overestimating it? I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
No, No, why would I overestimate my worth?
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Because there's a lot of people that do they be
thinking that they.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
They're looking from the outside.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
M yeah, I'm gonna keep it moving. Guys, you heard this. Okay?
Is closure a real need or just an excuse to
send that one last text? Talk to me? Is closure
a real need or an excuse to sending that last text?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I think it's a real need. I think so. You
tell me, no, I think so it's a real need
because sometimes it's like doing the same thing every day.
Sometimes you gotta take a step back and put a
pause to it and and do a like a some moment.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Okay, closure, Okay, I'm not listening, guys, I'm not. I'm
not I'm not gonna come. I'm not gonna come for like,
I'm just saying though, that's what she got going on?
Then go ahead, what cusses you got, Let's do it?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Which is scarier from me in saying I love you?
Or crying in front of.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Her? Yeah, mm hmm, I ain't gonna lie. I'll probably
say crying, crying in front of her, crying in front
of her, crying in front of him.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I am.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I'm not afraid to say I love you like you
know what I mean, adulting emotionally mature. Yeah, go ahead.
What's the next one?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
All right? Which is harder? Lifting three thousand pounds or
saying I'm scared. We already know I.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Ain't gonna hold you three ain't nothing for me scared
he telling somebody I'm scared, or telling anybody I'm scared
now that that that's that's scary. I don't, I don't,
I can't do that. That's just good, you know what
I mean. That's that's that's based on confidence level. Man,
that's like yo, I feel like yo, I ain't got
no confidence and all that extra stuff. It ain't gonna comfort me.
(25:44):
But listen, before we get out of here, man, listen,
you got any toxic or positive stuff to say?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Positive?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Okay, talk to me.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Listen for all of the women and men out there
that's going through anything traumatic and you've finally found someone
in your life to make you feel finally at peace.
Put the Put the past behind you. Please put the
past behind you, because going into a new relationship, going
into a new a new jit stuff things. Bringing that
(26:23):
past into that new relationship is going to mess your
wole shit up. Leave the past behind you in In other.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Words, keep that trauma. I don't get into nothing that
you like you just just heal yourself first and then
after that, jump into.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
The wall exactly like an alligator.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Like an alligator.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
What makes you say because I'm scared of them, I
can say I'm scared of alligat feel thank you. I
like you.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Guy's been a little bit of words of wisdom. Before
we get out of here, man, listen, hold on to
your world in me, hold on to your world. More
of the story. Fuck closure. I need to know how
am I gonna get my money back. I'm just saying though,
(27:16):
I'm just saying I'm keeping in the Honey, you know
how mean I'm talking to people. Listen, I listen. I
want to thank you guys for walking out with another
episode of Pens Consequences Off the books. We got patriced
back in the building. Man, she out here? Okay, listen,
(27:37):
man till next time. Mutations cheer, Oh did he Ba
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