December 7, 2023 • 28 mins
Get ready for a mid-week vibe boost with AJ (@ajandhisbackpack) and Jamal (@jamalbottomlineburke)! Join the fun as they tackle the secrets of maintaining self-confidence and inner peace when you're crushing on someone. Plus, discover the art of entertaining skeptics, the magic number of times to shoot your shot, and more. Tune in for an entertaining conversation that'll leave you with nothing but good vibes! 🎙️
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Of A J. McLaughlin. I'mRoyan Rue, I'm DJ Rich the Tough
FO. I'm Pliny Martinez and weare the hosts of Opinions and Consequences,
the podcast, the show where Europeanscan lead to consequences. So choose your
world wise enjoying the show? Yes, you know the back in the building
(00:22):
people, Yes, man, listening, what's going on? Welcome back to
another episode of beings Consols off thebooks. You guys already know the vibes,
the short version and the condensed versionof being concluence the full So but
listen, we got bottom line,Burke back in the building. What's that?
What's good? What's good? Man? You do good? Okay?
(00:48):
I like, I like the additions. I like I like this man,
What is that? What color didthey call that? Is that Perrywinkle blue?
You know, it's a great question. I think it's this baby blue
because you know, you know howwhen people get with certain colors and it
gets certain suits, they're like,nah, this is sas squatch green.
(01:10):
I did check out the pale bluethough, okay, huge it was very
complimentary to my skin tone, becausethat's important. You gotta you gotta,
I gotta mess, you gotta pop. I feel I feel like you knows
as you get older, like Idon't like using the word older. As
you get more mature, yeah,more more experience. Yeah, I feel
(01:32):
like, yeah, you start toyou start to correct certain situations. You're
like, nah, this is SaintPink, this is Wan. You get
real clear and specific about details,just like this morning. As I was
telling you this morning, I wasgonna go get some uh groceries for my
(01:53):
nephews and my mother, and uh, I was like, I'm supposed to
go to a play. What's thatgrocery? Start out here? Stop and
shine. You've been gone for allthe five minutes you're talking about you.
You forget where you're at. Yeah, I was like, the public,
(02:13):
you know what I'm saying. Butfor a second it didn't. I did
pause. You know what I mean? Oh, man, listen, we're
gonna get right into the show people. Man, you already know. Man,
that title of this episode is calledno Quarters Left for the Game.
We ain't got no more quarters leftin the game. Man, tell me
tell me, like, what whatare you thinking about this? All right?
(02:35):
So the question I have is howdo you sustain? This is a
good question because we've been talking aboutthis. Okay, but how do you
sustain your self confidence and enter peaceas you experienced are tracting someone m hmm,
making a choice to get involved andmaking a decision to get less involved,
(03:00):
to moving on relationally time after time, right because we both single,
We meet somebody, we get excitedabout something, and then very quickly it
phizzles. Okay, So how doyou sustain and maintain that confidence and in
a piece that like if you haveaspirations of having a long term relationship or
(03:21):
getting married, damn, or havingkids. You know what I feel like,
I feel like to sustain that innerpiece people listening out there, to
sustain this inner piece, people forthis camera and for these people over here.
You gotta have I feel like youalways have to have an outlet,
(03:44):
you know what I mean, Likesomewhere you just gotta remind yourself, like
yo, listen, this is ateam game, like you know what I
mean. Like it's one of thosethings where I feel like in order to
sustain that to let things go whereif it's like one of those things whereas
it's like yo, she said somethingout of pocket, You're like, I'm
(04:05):
gonna let this one go. I'ma punt on this one. Call it
special, So that should be anepisode we let But I agree, I
agree as far as like you gottashopping, keep your skills shot. Yeah,
(04:25):
you do, and you and thatcan't be the main thing. You
gotta keep the main thing, themain thing. But the main thing is
you, right, and you gottacontinue to you know, shopping your skill
set. It's like it's like theMilwaukee Bucks, right you Jannis Antoku,
Right, You've had You've had PlayboyMiddleton come through. He's a solid player.
(04:46):
PJ. Tucker was a vital partof why they win in the championship.
But then he keeps getting better yearafter end. Now this year you
get Damian Little. Ye get thatwe're getting. We we got we got
the big time trade, the onethat immediately make a difference, the one
that you're really after. I thinkit's the same thing, right, You
(05:09):
just have to continue to whether it'sfitness, whether it's eatting better, whether
it's developing another skill set to helpyour business. That that that I think
that is the key because when whenyou're in your element doing your things,
That's what all older folks say allthe time, that's when she comes.
That's when he comes, you knowwhat, man cramping up like, I
(05:30):
got no gonna We're gonna natives afterthat. That's that's fine. Let me
let me ask you this, howdo you how do you into saying someone
that doesn't believe your actions are genuine? Okay, let me add a little
bit of context of this, Likesay, if you guys meet somebody just
brand new, you know, andthey probably got out a rough relationship or
(05:51):
whatever the case is, but theydon't think that your actions or how wherever
you're treating them is genuine based offof maybe their past. So how do
you entertain that in terms of youconsistently keeping the same energy, the same
(06:15):
you, just being you, butthey don't think it's genuine? Do you?
Yeah, that's a that's a that'sa great question. I think all
you could do is do you andbe and be you. And I just
think that when you have enough ofmaybe over justifying or that disconnect or the
(06:38):
pink elephant in the room, LikeI'm telling this young lady the truth,
yet she doesn't react like she believesme. I think it's just really illuminates
insecurity or something with her right becauseif you're telling the truth, that's where
you're you're in a piece. Keeptalking about that word. That's where you're
(06:59):
sure then and in peace and comfortsyour lie that Listen, I'm giving it
to a one hundred. I'm keepit. Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing.
There's nothing that I'm being hidden.And yet she's messing up the energy,
she's messing up the vibe. Right. As far as any progress or
bond strengthening that, I think thathas to be addressed. It has to
(07:20):
be do you how do you addressDo you address it in the sense that
you like, do you read it? You reiterate like yo, I think
delicately she's he's a lady. Butno, no seriousness, not real talk.
You just gotta say call a thinga thing, real talk, like
yo, baby girl, Listen,I told you I lived here, or
(07:45):
I told you whatever the details maybe. But I don't I feel like
there's something that you're not you're uncomfortablewith. Yeah, or help me understand.
What are you thinking? What areyou feeling when I said that I'm
in Stockbridge and you hesitated? Whatwas the hesitation about? If I said
(08:07):
I don't I don't like chicken palmlike what's you know what I'm saying.
So I think you just gotta callher thing a thing and then let her
speak and then based off how shespeaks. If that's just it, if
it's a continual thing and it's ongoing, then you gotta call those special teams
got special because not because I justfeel like, you know what I mean,
(08:28):
A lot of times people like,I know, gentlemen, you probably
may be in that situation maybe similar, or maybe you dealt with the situation
like okay, maybe if you justmet a female and guess what, you're
being nice until you get the kiddycan't the kiddy can't, Yeah, because
it's always cool to it cool yeah, yeah, yeah, correct, correct,
But then if you're still being niceafter it, like why how would
(08:54):
someone question that? Like, youknow what I mean? Like say,
if like, if you already gotwhat you got and you don't have nothing
left to offer, why do Igotta continue being nice? Here? I
think some of the most dangerous thingshappen, some of the worst things happen
to you. You're always trying tobe nice. That's what they say nice
you gotta finished last, And thatthing is really true because ultimately, at
(09:16):
some point you gotta be your authenticself and sometimes it's not. It's not
nice situation when life be life andit forces somebody, you know, stop
smiling. Do you understand we haveto make a decision. We can't wait.
I need to know right now,like right now, like right now,
(09:39):
this ain't is time to be quiet, Saint is time to be silent
the Saints is time to sit down, just not the time you feel me.
Sometimes you just get like that,you know what I'm saying. But
that's a great question though, honestlythat's so. Do you like so you
think that? Honestly? Like youjust continue being you and maintain your genuine
(10:05):
genuineness in midst of somebody else thinkingthat you have some alternative plans, you
know what I mean, Man,I'm gonna gonna call a thing a thing
at some point, at some point, I'm say, some real ship.
At some point I'm gonna be like, heyo, listen, what's up.
(10:28):
But I mean, you gotta doit in a respectful manner and everything like
that. Absolutely, But there's nosense of continuing on like that because that
is something that is going to contaminateor definitely heavily restrict on growth. That's
what I'm saying. Yeah, andat some point too, it affects you
with respects to what you know,not standing up for yourself, you might
(10:52):
start tinkering with self doubt, selfinsecurities and or whatever. But I think
in closing with it, as longas you know you're telling the truth,
you're being for fright. And sheshe's not really connecting with it, then
that's that's a hard thing. That'snot it's not really okay. So shouts
anybody else going through that and allactual something we got, we got.
(11:13):
We gotta do it toes man,because god man, lifting iced tea.
Look lifting iced tea, that's akick. It's the winter time. We
need the spices and nices and thebumcos that butter that squashed with the with
(11:37):
the peaking. It's about that side. And we in Boston we gotta we
gotta do. We gotta do.Legals clam chowder, see for clam chowder.
If you tell me you do not, no, no, no,
I'm not. I'm not. I'ma bis I'm like, I don't I
don't like that. I don't likeI don't like I was child child,
(12:03):
you know what I'm saying. Irespect that. No, no, no
judgment, not real talk. Butlike, yay went the time. You
know you got the legals claim childto see if clam child, I know
they got the Rhode Island clam childer. Yeah, it's because it's all we're
about to get spooky. But goahead, let me get this other one
(12:26):
off, right, So all right, there's no question speaking of the ladies.
Of course, all about the ladies, high lady, but this is
this is something that I think,I think it's a good question because we
need, we need, we needa female and so forth too. But
(12:48):
during initials like you know this,right, we we both you know,
date during the initial part of datingmayden right, during that experience, like
both men and women, they shouldfeel special. Right, you meet somebody
at market basket down the street,Yeah, you feel special? Right?
(13:11):
And admittedly I'm curious at what moment, right, where's the demarcation to where
special shifts from Oh, I feelspecial when I'm with aj right to I
feel special because of what we createdwith respects either to a relationship or marriage
(13:35):
together. Okay, you know whatI'm saying. Like, so you meet
somebody, meet a young lady,she's oh, she's I feel special,
I feel special. I feel special? Right? And then when does it's
no longer solely about maybe her feelingspecial or him feeling special and it's about
the collective right? Because I feelso so often you hear when people get
(13:56):
divorced or people break up or duringthat old time, you don't make me
feel special more? She don't mean, you know, men don't really say
that as much, but you knowwhat I'm saying. So I just think
that when does that shift happen whereit's no longer about just solely the woman
always feeling special? Two get moreinto something else? I think I think
(14:20):
that comes with the time, youknow. I think it's a great question
because you know, you know,initially like you always the way men are,
you know, the way men areguys. We like for our partner
to feel special, you know whatI mean? But I feel like it's
(14:41):
more of a and I I guessI guess I couldn't. I shouldn't say
that it's just a male thing,because I guess females can. Yeah,
women love to make their counterpart feelspecial. But then I feel like that's
more with what's that the love language? You know what I mean like,
(15:03):
like what makes you feel all ofthem? Yeah, you know what I
mean, like all of a littledabble of everything, you know what I
mean, Like, I just butI feel like, you know, collectively,
after when two people have been togetherfor a long period of time,
you create a special bond where it'sgonna be like maybe it's the anniversary that
you guys feel like, oh mygod, it's the anniversary. This is
(15:26):
gonna be fun. Or if it'sthat one part that you meant at you
know, and you do something torecreate that moment that's special to you guys,
instead of it just being like,oh yeah, Shorty loves Shorty loves.
Because the fallacy is this is ifone partner has real expectations that the
(15:50):
other one can make them feel specialthree sixty five. You know what I
mean, It's completely understandable, andwell does it even the birthday month and
all that, Right, that's whatI'm talking about. You from a birthday
day to a birthday week to abirthday month and some even stretch it quarter
you know what I'm saying. Butso the birthdays make sense, the anniversary's
makes sense. There's there's definitely occasionswhere yeah, absolutely should feel sexial,
(16:14):
but the three sixty five like tothat, you know, on a Thursday,
you know, October twenty six,you know what I mean. So
I just I think that's something becauseyou could get easily trapped in the lore
of you know, that is supposedto be the standard. I'm a he's
always supposed to make me feel special, when that's kind of romanticizing it correct
and it's not really reality to youknow, have somebody else have that responsibility
(16:41):
for you, when ultimately, inthe end, that's your job to make
yourself feel however you know you wantyou want to feel like that. I
also think now before this hits theairwaves, you know, because we don't
make this viral, we're gonna makethis viral. I think that personally,
(17:02):
besides anniversary, you and your significantother should set a week, a month
or day aside where's about y'all totalk to me? Date? You always
got to schedule date life, youknow what I mean, Especially as you
get older. That's it's more imperativebecause you know, the days are short.
(17:23):
The nicest she just feel like Ifeel like but not really talk because
your your your your the calendar,the calendar feels up quick and we're more
busy, you know. But butbut see that's what I'm saying. I
want, like, I feel like, yo, people should start to prioritize,
(17:45):
prioritize and make it like another holidayit. Make it, make it
like Christmas, make it like whateverthe thing is. Make it. What
I'm not saying is make it likethat, but meaning like make it important
like that, like how you makeit in your life? You feel mean
absolutely, Let me ask you thiscough cough, how many times do you
(18:12):
shoot your shot with a girl ormale for females that you have interest in?
Do you have a method explain?Like how many times you shoot your
shot? Like? You know whatI mean? Is it is it like
yo, hey, what's up?One time? Whoops? Sliding the DM
(18:34):
text once and let it, letit, let it, let it blossom,
or you know what I mean?Or you like one of those like
yo, you you shoot it aslong as you have the energy to shoot.
Yeah. More importantly, there gottabe some type of reciprocation, some
type of other indication that there's interestand stuff like that. I mean,
(18:56):
I mean, you can't be completelydelusional and foolish to continue to shoot shoot
shoo, shoot shoot, And she'sclearly making it abundantly known that like yo,
nah, right, you know whatI'm saying, Like there got to
be something a smile or wink.Uh. You know, you ask a
question, she answers and asks youa question. But if you're asking questions,
she answers with a question and everythingshort and the energy is like,
(19:19):
oh can you please leave? Youknow what I'm saying. Then that's different,
But I think it's an instinctive thing. But you know, time is
usually not on your side. Butsomething that you can help shout is like,
you know, go leave for aperiod of time, do something great
that always helps you know what imean, level up, and then when
(19:41):
you revisit it, it's kind ofnew energy. But yeah, I don't
know, I don't believe in likeyo, you see somebody that night and
then you gotta you know, exhaustYeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I
mean you say something and then withyou, I don't got no method though.
Me. I'm I'm I'm I'm anenergy guy. I'm I'm all feelings,
you know what I'm saying. Andit's like, you know, if
(20:02):
I see something, I'm definitely gonnaapproach. Hey, demonstrate that. Yeah,
yeah, I'm gonna say something.Absolutely one practice shot I saved the
rest of the game. I takeone practice shot, I say the rest
of the game for the rest ofyou know, I mean some time.
(20:23):
Like I don't think she heard me. Yeah, you give me on a
good night. I gotta go back, got sukle back, I gotta shuckle
back. Hey, hey baby,them shoes in that dress, that pop.
You see what I'm saying, Like, I just you gotta always compliment,
real talk. You got to tryto identify something, whatever it is,
(20:45):
and then that's how you gage theenergy. But I feel like I
feel like a lot of times likeyou gotta compliment based off of Okay,
see, that's gotta be genuine.That's that's a method. I'm looking at
the shoes, I'm looking at thedress. I'm smelling the fume. If
she got a next she got abracelet, or maybe her hands dead,
maybe her nails are done. Maybeyou comment the color or the pedicure,
(21:08):
the manicure. Maybe it's the dressor just her smile. Maybe it's even
if she's quiet, maybe it's airingsomething. Maybe she did maybe the way
she you know what I mean,extended anything. I'll find it. I'll
find it, and I'm gonna getup. I'm gonna get that yo.
(21:29):
Hey, I'm getting up, thankyou. I'm gonna get that minimum.
I'm getting that minimum. Yo.We could do a survey, whatever we
could do. Put a thousand,put a thousand one. I don't care.
I don't care what because because theywant to hear compass, just like
we want to hear compliments, youknow, and I feel like, you
know, it's I only feel like, you know, they only want to
(21:53):
hear compliments from people that obviously theyattracted. Absolutely, that would be ideal,
that would be ideal. However,no one wants to be attention less.
Yeah, from well, because Imean, look, I mean social
media is one indicator. But whatwoman, I've seen it, and I'm
sure you have you know your onepractice shot, right, you got the
(22:17):
beautiful woman, You got the beautifulwoman that's that's at the bar, or
at the restaurant, whatever the situation, wherever the environment may be, and
no one talks to her. Thathappens. That definitely, that is real,
and a be pissed, you'll beupset. Yeah, yes, So
I don't know I think that there'sI guess there are is a method.
(22:38):
But yeah, you shoot into I'mtake you this got shoot the score.
I know that much. If you, if you ain't at nothing, you're
gonna hit it every time. You'regonna get nothing every time. If you
hate that nothing, if you I'mgonna at nothing, I'm gonna get it
every time. I gotta shoot thisshot. I gotta shoot the shop.
(23:00):
He said, you gotta shot shootthis call. I don't know. Yeah,
you know what I mean. LikeI said, many, I'll save
it for the game. You knowwhat I mean. But like you ladies,
enjoy your practice players a little rapidfire. So go on a date.
(23:23):
Lady doesn't have etiquette's mannerism. You'resuper attracted to a dope body,
dope personality. Are you going backon a date with him? Did I
miss something? Yeah? No,she just ain't got no etiquettes, no
(23:45):
man, she got no mecticants manners. I guess it depends what seasons.
Yeah, but right now, hellno, oh no, that's it.
I mean, I can I canhave a I have a conversation to get
some clarity. Again, maybe she'shad a night, bad bad, something
to justify it. However, ifthere's an unwillingness to make a correction,
(24:10):
you know, for the sanctity ofthe relationship of us, that that actually
is also a huge indicator how shefeels about you. Because if you express,
hey, baby, I didn't likehow you didn't do ABC, and
there's no adjustments, then that's athat's a sending out the red special teams,
(24:30):
you know what I mean. Let'sjust move on, you know what
I mean, because because that's justa waste of energy. At that point,
she's already indicated, you know,unless unless you want to be unless
you fall in love with the hurtand the pain and you want to go
through that misery to try to seethe inevitable that that that's not for you.
No, I like that, Ilike that. I like that.
I like that. Another question,another way of raptifying. Trying to go
(24:56):
out with this young lady, tryingto figure out what restaurant, where to
go, what to eat. Shehasn't gave you no indications or where she
wants to go, where she likesto eat. You decide, you making
an executive decision. You just goall right, all right, I find
the restaurant, will go here?She gets her spots. I don't want
(25:17):
to eat here. What are wedoing? What are we doing? Damn,
that's a good boy. What arewe doing? I ain't got no
more quarters for this game. Iain't got no more quarters. I guess
this is another conversation. Well,damn, what you want to eat?
(25:40):
Yo? You left it up tome, you said, Yo. Now
I'm pulling back up to my spot. I'm ordering. I'm ordering pizza.
I'm ordering pizza, and I don'tcare, like, yo, what type
of wings I'm on the courtesy ofme. I'm gonna ask you what type
of wings you want? And that'sand that's and that's his god. But
I think that's I think that's thefact. I think you got to decide
something. You gotta make that decisions. You what you want some tacos?
(26:03):
You want a burger? I'm straight. You want you see like, you
gotta start name it. I don'tknow that's tough. Might drop you off
at home or tough, or youwant to you want to join me with
something? I know, I knowin real time I'll having that conversation in
the car or on the phone.Whatever we got we gotta figure out right
now. Yeah, we pulled up. That might that might be another indicator
like, Yo, this is thisis, this is not a good match.
(26:23):
Maybe it's not a good match.Because that's all right. Before we
get into this, man, telltell these people something positive. Man,
tell them something, because I'm gonnago off for the deep end work.
Yo. As my auntie said,Yo, it's it's always uh, it's
(26:44):
always tough at times to move on. But it hurts even more when you
stay too long. Mmm. Onemore time, one more time. It
always hurts me. You got tomove on, but it hurts even more
when you stay too long. She'dbe giving up. Hey, Brenda,
(27:12):
oh Man, listen, man,a little bit of words of wisdom,
sweetheart. He don't love you.He loves your house. More the story
it exists. Listen more the storypeople. Man, they want to see
(27:38):
you fail so they have comfort.They're not the only one. Listen,
man. I want to thank youguys for rocking out with us for another
episode of Pens Consequences Off the books. We got bottom line, Burke in
the building. That's right with thePerry Winkle blue bloomin order, baby flo
(28:03):
Man til next time in cite teachersmm hm
Of A J. McLaughlin. I'mRoyan Rue, I'm DJ Rich the Tough
FO. I'm Pliny Martinez and weare the hosts of Opinions and Consequences,
the podcast, the show where Europeanscan lead to consequences. So choose your
world wise enjoying the show? Yes, you know the back in the building
(00:22):
people, Yes, man, listening, what's going on? Welcome back to
another episode of beings Consols off thebooks. You guys already know the vibes,
the short version and the condensed versionof being concluence the full So but
listen, we got bottom line,Burke back in the building. What's that?
What's good? What's good? Man? You do good? Okay?
(00:48):
I like, I like the additions. I like I like this man,
What is that? What color didthey call that? Is that Perrywinkle blue?
You know, it's a great question. I think it's this baby blue
because you know, you know howwhen people get with certain colors and it
gets certain suits, they're like,nah, this is sas squatch green.
(01:10):
I did check out the pale bluethough, okay, huge it was very
complimentary to my skin tone, becausethat's important. You gotta you gotta,
I gotta mess, you gotta pop. I feel I feel like you knows
as you get older, like Idon't like using the word older. As
you get more mature, yeah,more more experience. Yeah, I feel
(01:32):
like, yeah, you start toyou start to correct certain situations. You're
like, nah, this is SaintPink, this is Wan. You get
real clear and specific about details,just like this morning. As I was
telling you this morning, I wasgonna go get some uh groceries for my
(01:53):
nephews and my mother, and uh, I was like, I'm supposed to
go to a play. What's thatgrocery? Start out here? Stop and
shine. You've been gone for allthe five minutes you're talking about you.
You forget where you're at. Yeah, I was like, the public,
(02:13):
you know what I'm saying. Butfor a second it didn't. I did
pause. You know what I mean? Oh, man, listen, we're
gonna get right into the show people. Man, you already know. Man,
that title of this episode is calledno Quarters Left for the Game.
We ain't got no more quarters leftin the game. Man, tell me
tell me, like, what whatare you thinking about this? All right?
(02:35):
So the question I have is howdo you sustain? This is a
good question because we've been talking aboutthis. Okay, but how do you
sustain your self confidence and enter peaceas you experienced are tracting someone m hmm,
making a choice to get involved andmaking a decision to get less involved,
(03:00):
to moving on relationally time after time, right because we both single,
We meet somebody, we get excitedabout something, and then very quickly it
phizzles. Okay, So how doyou sustain and maintain that confidence and in
a piece that like if you haveaspirations of having a long term relationship or
(03:21):
getting married, damn, or havingkids. You know what I feel like,
I feel like to sustain that innerpiece people listening out there, to
sustain this inner piece, people forthis camera and for these people over here.
You gotta have I feel like youalways have to have an outlet,
(03:44):
you know what I mean, Likesomewhere you just gotta remind yourself, like
yo, listen, this is ateam game, like you know what I
mean. Like it's one of thosethings where I feel like in order to
sustain that to let things go whereif it's like one of those things whereas
it's like yo, she said somethingout of pocket, You're like, I'm
(04:05):
gonna let this one go. I'ma punt on this one. Call it
special, So that should be anepisode we let But I agree, I
agree as far as like you gottashopping, keep your skills shot. Yeah,
(04:25):
you do, and you and thatcan't be the main thing. You
gotta keep the main thing, themain thing. But the main thing is
you, right, and you gottacontinue to you know, shopping your skill
set. It's like it's like theMilwaukee Bucks, right you Jannis Antoku,
Right, You've had You've had PlayboyMiddleton come through. He's a solid player.
(04:46):
PJ. Tucker was a vital partof why they win in the championship.
But then he keeps getting better yearafter end. Now this year you
get Damian Little. Ye get thatwe're getting. We we got we got
the big time trade, the onethat immediately make a difference, the one
that you're really after. I thinkit's the same thing, right, You
(05:09):
just have to continue to whether it'sfitness, whether it's eatting better, whether
it's developing another skill set to helpyour business. That that that I think
that is the key because when whenyou're in your element doing your things,
That's what all older folks say allthe time, that's when she comes.
That's when he comes, you knowwhat, man cramping up like, I
(05:30):
got no gonna We're gonna natives afterthat. That's that's fine. Let me
let me ask you this, howdo you how do you into saying someone
that doesn't believe your actions are genuine? Okay, let me add a little
bit of context of this, Likesay, if you guys meet somebody just
brand new, you know, andthey probably got out a rough relationship or
(05:51):
whatever the case is, but theydon't think that your actions or how wherever
you're treating them is genuine based offof maybe their past. So how do
you entertain that in terms of youconsistently keeping the same energy, the same
(06:15):
you, just being you, butthey don't think it's genuine? Do you?
Yeah, that's a that's a that'sa great question. I think all
you could do is do you andbe and be you. And I just
think that when you have enough ofmaybe over justifying or that disconnect or the
(06:38):
pink elephant in the room, LikeI'm telling this young lady the truth,
yet she doesn't react like she believesme. I think it's just really illuminates
insecurity or something with her right becauseif you're telling the truth, that's where
you're you're in a piece. Keeptalking about that word. That's where you're
(06:59):
sure then and in peace and comfortsyour lie that Listen, I'm giving it
to a one hundred. I'm keepit. Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing.
There's nothing that I'm being hidden.And yet she's messing up the energy,
she's messing up the vibe. Right. As far as any progress or
bond strengthening that, I think thathas to be addressed. It has to
(07:20):
be do you how do you addressDo you address it in the sense that
you like, do you read it? You reiterate like yo, I think
delicately she's he's a lady. Butno, no seriousness, not real talk.
You just gotta say call a thinga thing, real talk, like
yo, baby girl, Listen,I told you I lived here, or
(07:45):
I told you whatever the details maybe. But I don't I feel like
there's something that you're not you're uncomfortablewith. Yeah, or help me understand.
What are you thinking? What areyou feeling when I said that I'm
in Stockbridge and you hesitated? Whatwas the hesitation about? If I said
(08:07):
I don't I don't like chicken palmlike what's you know what I'm saying.
So I think you just gotta callher thing a thing and then let her
speak and then based off how shespeaks. If that's just it, if
it's a continual thing and it's ongoing, then you gotta call those special teams
got special because not because I justfeel like, you know what I mean,
(08:28):
A lot of times people like,I know, gentlemen, you probably
may be in that situation maybe similar, or maybe you dealt with the situation
like okay, maybe if you justmet a female and guess what, you're
being nice until you get the kiddycan't the kiddy can't, Yeah, because
it's always cool to it cool yeah, yeah, yeah, correct, correct,
But then if you're still being niceafter it, like why how would
(08:54):
someone question that? Like, youknow what I mean? Like say,
if like, if you already gotwhat you got and you don't have nothing
left to offer, why do Igotta continue being nice? Here? I
think some of the most dangerous thingshappen, some of the worst things happen
to you. You're always trying tobe nice. That's what they say nice
you gotta finished last, And thatthing is really true because ultimately, at
(09:16):
some point you gotta be your authenticself and sometimes it's not. It's not
nice situation when life be life andit forces somebody, you know, stop
smiling. Do you understand we haveto make a decision. We can't wait.
I need to know right now,like right now, like right now,
(09:39):
this ain't is time to be quiet, Saint is time to be silent
the Saints is time to sit down, just not the time you feel me.
Sometimes you just get like that,you know what I'm saying. But
that's a great question though, honestlythat's so. Do you like so you
think that? Honestly? Like youjust continue being you and maintain your genuine
(10:05):
genuineness in midst of somebody else thinkingthat you have some alternative plans, you
know what I mean, Man,I'm gonna gonna call a thing a thing
at some point, at some point, I'm say, some real ship.
At some point I'm gonna be like, heyo, listen, what's up.
(10:28):
But I mean, you gotta doit in a respectful manner and everything like
that. Absolutely, But there's nosense of continuing on like that because that
is something that is going to contaminateor definitely heavily restrict on growth. That's
what I'm saying. Yeah, andat some point too, it affects you
with respects to what you know,not standing up for yourself, you might
(10:52):
start tinkering with self doubt, selfinsecurities and or whatever. But I think
in closing with it, as longas you know you're telling the truth,
you're being for fright. And sheshe's not really connecting with it, then
that's that's a hard thing. That'snot it's not really okay. So shouts
anybody else going through that and allactual something we got, we got.
(11:13):
We gotta do it toes man,because god man, lifting iced tea.
Look lifting iced tea, that's akick. It's the winter time. We
need the spices and nices and thebumcos that butter that squashed with the with
(11:37):
the peaking. It's about that side. And we in Boston we gotta we
gotta do. We gotta do.Legals clam chowder, see for clam chowder.
If you tell me you do not, no, no, no,
I'm not. I'm not. I'ma bis I'm like, I don't I
don't like that. I don't likeI don't like I was child child,
(12:03):
you know what I'm saying. Irespect that. No, no, no
judgment, not real talk. Butlike, yay went the time. You
know you got the legals claim childto see if clam child, I know
they got the Rhode Island clam childer. Yeah, it's because it's all we're
about to get spooky. But goahead, let me get this other one
(12:26):
off, right, So all right, there's no question speaking of the ladies.
Of course, all about the ladies, high lady, but this is
this is something that I think,I think it's a good question because we
need, we need, we needa female and so forth too. But
(12:48):
during initials like you know this,right, we we both you know,
date during the initial part of datingmayden right, during that experience, like
both men and women, they shouldfeel special. Right, you meet somebody
at market basket down the street,Yeah, you feel special? Right?
(13:11):
And admittedly I'm curious at what moment, right, where's the demarcation to where
special shifts from Oh, I feelspecial when I'm with aj right to I
feel special because of what we createdwith respects either to a relationship or marriage
(13:35):
together. Okay, you know whatI'm saying. Like, so you meet
somebody, meet a young lady,she's oh, she's I feel special,
I feel special. I feel special? Right? And then when does it's
no longer solely about maybe her feelingspecial or him feeling special and it's about
the collective right? Because I feelso so often you hear when people get
(13:56):
divorced or people break up or duringthat old time, you don't make me
feel special more? She don't mean, you know, men don't really say
that as much, but you knowwhat I'm saying. So I just think
that when does that shift happen whereit's no longer about just solely the woman
always feeling special? Two get moreinto something else? I think I think
(14:20):
that comes with the time, youknow. I think it's a great question
because you know, you know,initially like you always the way men are,
you know, the way men areguys. We like for our partner
to feel special, you know whatI mean? But I feel like it's
(14:41):
more of a and I I guessI guess I couldn't. I shouldn't say
that it's just a male thing,because I guess females can. Yeah,
women love to make their counterpart feelspecial. But then I feel like that's
more with what's that the love language? You know what I mean like,
(15:03):
like what makes you feel all ofthem? Yeah, you know what I
mean, like all of a littledabble of everything, you know what I
mean, Like, I just butI feel like, you know, collectively,
after when two people have been togetherfor a long period of time,
you create a special bond where it'sgonna be like maybe it's the anniversary that
you guys feel like, oh mygod, it's the anniversary. This is
(15:26):
gonna be fun. Or if it'sthat one part that you meant at you
know, and you do something torecreate that moment that's special to you guys,
instead of it just being like,oh yeah, Shorty loves Shorty loves.
Because the fallacy is this is ifone partner has real expectations that the
(15:50):
other one can make them feel specialthree sixty five. You know what I
mean, It's completely understandable, andwell does it even the birthday month and
all that, Right, that's whatI'm talking about. You from a birthday
day to a birthday week to abirthday month and some even stretch it quarter
you know what I'm saying. Butso the birthdays make sense, the anniversary's
makes sense. There's there's definitely occasionswhere yeah, absolutely should feel sexial,
(16:14):
but the three sixty five like tothat, you know, on a Thursday,
you know, October twenty six,you know what I mean. So
I just I think that's something becauseyou could get easily trapped in the lore
of you know, that is supposedto be the standard. I'm a he's
always supposed to make me feel special, when that's kind of romanticizing it correct
and it's not really reality to youknow, have somebody else have that responsibility
(16:41):
for you, when ultimately, inthe end, that's your job to make
yourself feel however you know you wantyou want to feel like that. I
also think now before this hits theairwaves, you know, because we don't
make this viral, we're gonna makethis viral. I think that personally,
(17:02):
besides anniversary, you and your significantother should set a week, a month
or day aside where's about y'all totalk to me? Date? You always
got to schedule date life, youknow what I mean, Especially as you
get older. That's it's more imperativebecause you know, the days are short.
(17:23):
The nicest she just feel like Ifeel like but not really talk because
your your your your the calendar,the calendar feels up quick and we're more
busy, you know. But butbut see that's what I'm saying. I
want, like, I feel like, yo, people should start to prioritize,
(17:45):
prioritize and make it like another holidayit. Make it, make it
like Christmas, make it like whateverthe thing is. Make it. What
I'm not saying is make it likethat, but meaning like make it important
like that, like how you makeit in your life? You feel mean
absolutely, Let me ask you thiscough cough, how many times do you
(18:12):
shoot your shot with a girl ormale for females that you have interest in?
Do you have a method explain?Like how many times you shoot your
shot? Like? You know whatI mean? Is it is it like
yo, hey, what's up?One time? Whoops? Sliding the DM
(18:34):
text once and let it, letit, let it, let it blossom,
or you know what I mean?Or you like one of those like
yo, you you shoot it aslong as you have the energy to shoot.
Yeah. More importantly, there gottabe some type of reciprocation, some
type of other indication that there's interestand stuff like that. I mean,
(18:56):
I mean, you can't be completelydelusional and foolish to continue to shoot shoot
shoo, shoot shoot, And she'sclearly making it abundantly known that like yo,
nah, right, you know whatI'm saying, Like there got to
be something a smile or wink.Uh. You know, you ask a
question, she answers and asks youa question. But if you're asking questions,
she answers with a question and everythingshort and the energy is like,
(19:19):
oh can you please leave? Youknow what I'm saying. Then that's different,
But I think it's an instinctive thing. But you know, time is
usually not on your side. Butsomething that you can help shout is like,
you know, go leave for aperiod of time, do something great
that always helps you know what imean, level up, and then when
(19:41):
you revisit it, it's kind ofnew energy. But yeah, I don't
know, I don't believe in likeyo, you see somebody that night and
then you gotta you know, exhaustYeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I
mean you say something and then withyou, I don't got no method though.
Me. I'm I'm I'm I'm anenergy guy. I'm I'm all feelings,
you know what I'm saying. Andit's like, you know, if
(20:02):
I see something, I'm definitely gonnaapproach. Hey, demonstrate that. Yeah,
yeah, I'm gonna say something.Absolutely one practice shot I saved the
rest of the game. I takeone practice shot, I say the rest
of the game for the rest ofyou know, I mean some time.
(20:23):
Like I don't think she heard me. Yeah, you give me on a
good night. I gotta go back, got sukle back, I gotta shuckle
back. Hey, hey baby,them shoes in that dress, that pop.
You see what I'm saying, Like, I just you gotta always compliment,
real talk. You got to tryto identify something, whatever it is,
(20:45):
and then that's how you gage theenergy. But I feel like I
feel like a lot of times likeyou gotta compliment based off of Okay,
see, that's gotta be genuine.That's that's a method. I'm looking at
the shoes, I'm looking at thedress. I'm smelling the fume. If
she got a next she got abracelet, or maybe her hands dead,
maybe her nails are done. Maybeyou comment the color or the pedicure,
(21:08):
the manicure. Maybe it's the dressor just her smile. Maybe it's even
if she's quiet, maybe it's airingsomething. Maybe she did maybe the way
she you know what I mean,extended anything. I'll find it. I'll
find it, and I'm gonna getup. I'm gonna get that yo.
(21:29):
Hey, I'm getting up, thankyou. I'm gonna get that minimum.
I'm getting that minimum. Yo.We could do a survey, whatever we
could do. Put a thousand,put a thousand one. I don't care.
I don't care what because because theywant to hear compass, just like
we want to hear compliments, youknow, and I feel like, you
know, it's I only feel like, you know, they only want to
(21:53):
hear compliments from people that obviously theyattracted. Absolutely, that would be ideal,
that would be ideal. However,no one wants to be attention less.
Yeah, from well, because Imean, look, I mean social
media is one indicator. But whatwoman, I've seen it, and I'm
sure you have you know your onepractice shot, right, you got the
(22:17):
beautiful woman, You got the beautifulwoman that's that's at the bar, or
at the restaurant, whatever the situation, wherever the environment may be, and
no one talks to her. Thathappens. That definitely, that is real,
and a be pissed, you'll beupset. Yeah, yes, So
I don't know I think that there'sI guess there are is a method.
(22:38):
But yeah, you shoot into I'mtake you this got shoot the score.
I know that much. If you, if you ain't at nothing, you're
gonna hit it every time. You'regonna get nothing every time. If you
hate that nothing, if you I'mgonna at nothing, I'm gonna get it
every time. I gotta shoot thisshot. I gotta shoot the shop.
(23:00):
He said, you gotta shot shootthis call. I don't know. Yeah,
you know what I mean. LikeI said, many, I'll save
it for the game. You knowwhat I mean. But like you ladies,
enjoy your practice players a little rapidfire. So go on a date.
(23:23):
Lady doesn't have etiquette's mannerism. You'resuper attracted to a dope body,
dope personality. Are you going backon a date with him? Did I
miss something? Yeah? No,she just ain't got no etiquettes, no
(23:45):
man, she got no mecticants manners. I guess it depends what seasons.
Yeah, but right now, hellno, oh no, that's it.
I mean, I can I canhave a I have a conversation to get
some clarity. Again, maybe she'shad a night, bad bad, something
to justify it. However, ifthere's an unwillingness to make a correction,
(24:10):
you know, for the sanctity ofthe relationship of us, that that actually
is also a huge indicator how shefeels about you. Because if you express,
hey, baby, I didn't likehow you didn't do ABC, and
there's no adjustments, then that's athat's a sending out the red special teams,
(24:30):
you know what I mean. Let'sjust move on, you know what
I mean, because because that's justa waste of energy. At that point,
she's already indicated, you know,unless unless you want to be unless
you fall in love with the hurtand the pain and you want to go
through that misery to try to seethe inevitable that that that's not for you.
No, I like that, Ilike that. I like that.
I like that. Another question,another way of raptifying. Trying to go
(24:56):
out with this young lady, tryingto figure out what restaurant, where to
go, what to eat. Shehasn't gave you no indications or where she
wants to go, where she likesto eat. You decide, you making
an executive decision. You just goall right, all right, I find
the restaurant, will go here?She gets her spots. I don't want
(25:17):
to eat here. What are wedoing? What are we doing? Damn,
that's a good boy. What arewe doing? I ain't got no
more quarters for this game. Iain't got no more quarters. I guess
this is another conversation. Well,damn, what you want to eat?
(25:40):
Yo? You left it up tome, you said, Yo. Now
I'm pulling back up to my spot. I'm ordering. I'm ordering pizza.
I'm ordering pizza, and I don'tcare, like, yo, what type
of wings I'm on the courtesy ofme. I'm gonna ask you what type
of wings you want? And that'sand that's and that's his god. But
I think that's I think that's thefact. I think you got to decide
something. You gotta make that decisions. You what you want some tacos?
(26:03):
You want a burger? I'm straight. You want you see like, you
gotta start name it. I don'tknow that's tough. Might drop you off
at home or tough, or youwant to you want to join me with
something? I know, I knowin real time I'll having that conversation in
the car or on the phone.Whatever we got we gotta figure out right
now. Yeah, we pulled up. That might that might be another indicator
like, Yo, this is thisis, this is not a good match.
(26:23):
Maybe it's not a good match.Because that's all right. Before we
get into this, man, telltell these people something positive. Man,
tell them something, because I'm gonnago off for the deep end work.
Yo. As my auntie said,Yo, it's it's always uh, it's
(26:44):
always tough at times to move on. But it hurts even more when you
stay too long. Mmm. Onemore time, one more time. It
always hurts me. You got tomove on, but it hurts even more
when you stay too long. She'dbe giving up. Hey, Brenda,
(27:12):
oh Man, listen, man,a little bit of words of wisdom,
sweetheart. He don't love you.He loves your house. More the story
it exists. Listen more the storypeople. Man, they want to see
(27:38):
you fail so they have comfort.They're not the only one. Listen,
man. I want to thank youguys for rocking out with us for another
episode of Pens Consequences Off the books. We got bottom line, Burke in
the building. That's right with thePerry Winkle blue bloomin order, baby flo
(28:03):
Man til next time in cite teachersmm hm
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