AJ (@ajandhisbackpack) and Jay (@thutmosethe3rd_) are here to shake things up! In this lively episode, the duo dives into the art (or lack thereof) of approaching women—are there foolproof methods, or is it all a game of chance? They also tackle the age-old dilemma of why people stick around in relationships that don’t feel 100% right. And if that’s not enough, they’ll explore how to decide if someone is truly deserving of your all. Tune in for a witty, no-holds-barred chat that promises laughs, insights, and plenty of vibes.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Of A J. McLaughlin. I'mRyan Ruwie, I'm DJ Rich the Tough
for I'm Plinning Martinez and we arethe hosts of Opinions and Consequences, the
podcast, the show where Europeans canlead to consequences. So choose your words
wisely during the show. Yo,man, what's really good? People?
(00:29):
Man? Welcome back to another episodeof Beings Consequences Off the Books. I
know we've been gone for a minute, but we're backing the jump off.
Guys, you already know the deal. You know the show, the condensed
version of the full show, butyou know the thought provoking, sometimes controversial,
but always engaging and entertaining conversations.Guys, I got us guest in
(00:51):
the building. Oh, welcome Jayto the building. What's pof the try?
How you doing, sir man?Man? How you doing straight straight
workouts today? Oh? Yeah?Was it? What you do today?
Legs? Legs? Like? What'syour like? Go to it for legs?
Like? You know what I mean? Like, what's like? I
(01:11):
know how like a lot of peoplesometimes like you know, I'm talking to
you guys, viewers, I don'tdo legs, you know what I mean?
Only up top, only top feesure, I'll start exposed you.
So what's your what's your go towhen it comes down to legs? What's
(01:34):
my go to? Like like ajump? Yeah? Like is it leg
for us? Are we doing?Are we doing squats? Okay, I'm
doing leg press Okay, yeah,yeah, my new love right now when
it comes to legs, hex squads, squad oh oh okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay, it's like close close okay. Yeah,
I'm running like my balance and everything, like I'm still like a new
(01:56):
when it comes to like being morein touch with you, like leg workouts,
Yeah, I'm going in right now. Damn what you putting on?
How many places up there? Ihit two two plates? A yo?
You out here winning big doms.It's a great start, guys. We're
(02:22):
gonna get right into it. Man. Listen, man, this episode is
called the New Playbook. Let's getright into it, guys. Listen.
I want to talk about the differentmethods on trying to talk to a female,
share tips, tactics. What isyour approach in this new day and
age people, guys, Because Iknow it's a new day and age and
(02:45):
I know sometimes people need new,new, new, new directions on being
able to actually conversate with a witha female and all that stuff, or
you know whatever you're into. Yeah, yeah, whatever your preference is for
me, I'll say this, Ihad to learn a lot. I had
(03:07):
to go through. I made alot of mistakes to get to where I'm
at right now. When it comesto dating. Speak on it. By
the way, I'm off the market. I'm gonna just say that. Okay,
hold on, okay, okay,you see okay, Okay, a
little do the jungle juice people,the jungle juice. I'm gonna say this.
(03:31):
I don't think I think it's truewhen they say you don't gotta do
too much. Okay, you don'tgotta do too much. That's what I've
learned in the past couple of years, all right, Like you don't gotta
be corny, you don't gotta letthe ego like go crazy or anything like.
Simplicity is key to me, Okay, Simplicity like you know, a
little compliment like you know what,like if she wears, or like how
(03:53):
she's going about certain things, Likethey don't gotta be too much, not
too much, not too much.So it is your approach. More.
It seems like yours is more subtleapproach, more of a subtle approach.
I'm still I'm a shy guy,camera shy though, right, see that
crazy, that's crazy. Take usa long time to get here. But
(04:16):
yeah, very subtle. I'm aI'm a low key guy, like people
will say I'm mysterious. Okay,yeah, so I don't think you guys
do too much to really get tolike what you want? Now now,
now do you gauge that based offof the person's personality or do you gauge
that based off of is that yourtactic? Is that your way or method
of doing in any female that youapproach, like you know what I mean,
(04:41):
like because I feel like certain certainpeople you would approach differently based off
of how their personality is or youknow what I mean. Yeah, I
can say personality like if I ifI see you, like you know,
people showcase their personality with like youknow, yep, what they're wearing,
Okay, you know stuff like that. I'm a person that I like to
(05:02):
give a compliments okay, but likegenuine compliance. So what's like what like
are you are you are you cornywith the compliments or are you like I
just generally like if I see someonelike how so you'd be like nice buttons
like like, I don't know,I like that button on that ship.
Noah. I felt like let's saymaybe like let's let's say let's say they
(05:28):
had a nice shirt like oh,they had like on a regular like you
know, blue tea on but it'slike it's fire, it's hurt really well,
like I like that shirt the wayI like the way you rock.
It's really fire like stuff like that. No, I'm not gonna lie to
you crap that of you because guysand people people out there listen. Sometimes
it may see a corny but itmight just take them off that trajectory because
(05:49):
you know what I mean, becausea lot of people use the same stuff
over and over again, you knowwhat I mean. Some people have every
cliche with their compliments, like yo, damn more, your body's super tough,
you know what I mean. That'swhat I'm saying. You don't got
to do too much. That's whatI'm saying, that's not too much.
Part So he's going to simplicity routebecause like you could, when you compliment
(06:11):
in a genuine way, you cancould create a conversation off of that.
HM. Saying like you like,that's that ego stuff that you just like
your correct. What I'm saying likethat you don't need to do all that
to really get a person's attention.It's I'm gonna to you. I'm gonna
we're gonna take this mm hmm yo. Man it hits, it hits.
(06:39):
Come on now try Okay, they'renot playing listen. My tactic, very
simple, very simple, subtle people. I I I gauge. I'm a
gauger. I'm I kind of likesense out your personality, sense of humor
and all that stuff. If they'reuptight, I kind of shy away from
(07:00):
that. If you're upsight, youknow what I mean, because it's kind
of like it's not gonna go nowhere. Seems like you're too serious on life.
Hence you're too serious on life.I need somebody that's yeah correct.
But you know, I feel likethis day and age, in these crowds
nowadays, they're not gonna show correctcorrect, not gonna let that personality flourish,
because like it's just the way theworld is working right now. Yeah,
(07:23):
it's either you gonna be on acreep status or they mess with you,
right right, it's just like it'seither or so you gotta like play
the long game, and that's annoying, Like I don't want to do that.
That's tough, like super to Ican't do that to play the long
game. Yeah, no, I'mnot a fan of that. I'm not
a fan. Not a fan.I know you was you was talking about
(07:46):
you want to talk about why dopeople prolong staying in a relationship instead of
leaving if they don't feel one invested? Yeah, oh, I'm gonna take
the lead. I feel like Ifeel like a lot of times people prolonged
(08:07):
situations like this is comfortability. Ifeel like a lot of times they're not
comfortable. They know they got toocomfortable with their person where they don't want
to start all over. And Ido. I do feel like it depends
on how much you have invested versushow much you're gonna. You start to
(08:28):
gauge how much you're losing versus howmuch you're winning. But I do resent
people that do prolong and limit theirhappiness. You know what I mean?
Because I feel like a lot oftimes people limit their happiness because you know,
if you want to, if youprolong in something but you don't even
want to be in it. You'remaking yourself unhappy, you're miserable, you're
(08:50):
uptight' you know what I mean.I had to learn talk about it,
talk about it, talk about it. I was wrong, right, you
got a whole setup it b fire. I had to deal with that,
like I had, Like if something'snot working for you, like they might
(09:11):
seem like you know, they're theones for you, but if it's not
working, like you know in yourgut it's not working, but you know
it's like, oh, you knowthey're good people, like they might be
great for you in the long run, but at the same time, if
you're not feeling it in like inyour heart, like there's no point of
(09:33):
like staying in it just to likestay here. That's settling. Like yeah,
I'm like I'm understanding, Like,Yo, that's really settling. You
can't be doing that. I understandwhy you're short changing You're short changing yourself.
That's why I'm understand. I'm trulyunderstanding, Like, yo, you
can't settle out here because like,your happiness comes first. No, he's
not lying people. Your happiness shouldcome first, you know what I mean,
(09:54):
Like, regardless of whatever it isnow, now do I do.
I believe in sacrifices. I do. I do believe in sacrifices, but
like it's sacrificing with the person thatyou know is right for you and the
person that you enjoy being with.Yeah, but at the same time,
like, don't sacrifice anything for aperson that you're not fully invested in.
And that's what I'm saying. Andpeople be realistic with it, like you
(10:18):
know what I mean, Like looksare looks man, Like, you just
got to think about a lot ofstuff, like in terms of deep connections
like personality, somebody that you cangrow with, Somebody that adds value to
your life is definitely the keeper.Because the person that doesn't add value to
your life, you might as wellget rid of it. And that's like
(10:39):
you gotta do yourself that that service. That's what I'm saying. What's the
point of having somebody by your sideof the one you're not fully invested in?
Two? Is that that's that's adepression that you're crying for you on
mommy, bro, Like you guyswant to grow together, y'all want to
(11:01):
build something together. You want togo foundation together. If that's the type
of time you're on mentally, mM, it's not going to work out
if you prolong it at point,So like what would you say is something
where you should you give the ampleamount of time to to sit there and
evaluate the situation and be like,yo, I'm out. What's an ample
(11:22):
amount of time? You think?Like amount of time six a year after
like you know, being with themfor a good yeah, trying to like,
you know, rekindle something not likeyou know what I mean? Where
you're just like yo, I'm good, Like you know what I mean?
Where you where do you think thatthat time lap should be like ended that
(11:45):
like you know what I mean interms of be like all right, so
I like if you invest it,I know, in terms of like not
prolonging it, but like where's yourstart line for like yo, this ain't
gonna go look like how yeah,how long into it? Oh? I
guess it depends on the person orlike Okay, for me though, I
(12:09):
think for me it happened like afterfour months four months Okay, now that's
respectable. Yeah, I just couldn'tdo it, like yeah, but for
me though, but like, well, the situation I was in that was
like my first girlfriend or whatever,I didn't really get to know her like
that what I'm saying, like,I went like a week and get to
know her, and I was like, oh, let's do it. But
(12:30):
the thing is I didn't have experiencein the game of dating, and that's
where I learned all that. Okay, so I'm gonna hit you with this.
This is this is good segue intoanother question. How do you determine
whether or not someone deserves one ofyou? Yeah? How do you determine
(12:52):
that you really got to get toknow the person before you even like before
you even like you know, notjump the broom, but I mean,
like you know, take that leapof like getting to like commendment lor anything
like get to know them for likea good few months to like a year
a few months or a year yeartwo maybe? So do you gauge like
(13:16):
so like because you know, Ihad had a conversation with somebody about this,
Like you know what I mean,Like, what do you what do
you think is like the dating?How long is dating until it's official?
How long is dating until it's official? Yeah? Because you know what I
mean, because it's I feel likewhen that's that that percentage meeting Yeah,
on an estimate. Yeah, likethat's that percentage meter of getting to one
(13:39):
hundred where you're like, yo,yeah, I messed with you, right,
I feel like it's a good fivemonths to a year. Five months
to a year, I would say, so, like okay, but it
really depends on the person. Likepeople could just click in like a week
or two, but they really click, they really get to know each other.
(14:00):
Depends on people's mindsets because everybody's different, You're right, So, but
I would say to really get toknow somebody, it's gonna take a while.
So like what what is like?All right? So like you know,
and I and I agree with them, people like I agree with them,
like in terms of like I dofeel that it does take some time
to get to know somebody to getto that one percent marker. What are
(14:20):
some methods that you would suggest tosomebody else to help to help get that
percentage in a in a in atime in a more time of fashion,
timely of fashion, so you knowwhat I mean? Like some some some
some like dating ideas, dating tipsor or things that creates a more of
(14:45):
a bond where it's just like youget to understand your partner more and all
the extra stuff like will be somesuggestions I would say, Like one,
I guess stn't overthink as much.Okay, I'm saying, like, work
with what you have. I getit grow in a red pill blue pill
world right now, which is tome is kind of corny. I understand
(15:05):
the blue pill a lot or whatever, but I don't really care about a
lot. I think it's just ifpeople are meant to be with each other,
they're meant to be each other.What you want to but yeah,
just don't overthink it. Work withwhat you have, yo, Just just
be fun, enjoy well. One, you gotta enjoy yourself in order for
(15:28):
that person to enjoy you and forthem to enjoy themselves around you. Like
you got to really know yourself andlike what you're capable of, like what
you're able to provide and everything.Two, Yo, just always just be
on go with like whatever you havegoing on, Like don't be don't don't
(15:50):
I guess, just don't slack,don't sleep. You know what I'm saying,
Like everybody like everybody wants somebody that'slike that's moving within their lives.
Hear what you're saying, I'm withyou, because listen what I what I
would suggest just to figure back off. What you're saying is try to do
things that allow you guys to communicatedlead together. Like you know what I
(16:15):
mean, if it means going togym together, it means if it means
even going to supermarkets together everywhere,Like little little minuscule things like that don't
build a relationship. A lot ofyeah, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, you're good, don't be good.
A lot of times people just thinkthat going out to eat build a relationship.
It doesn't. It doesn't, itdoes. Don't build ship, bro.
(16:36):
So many yo, yeah, Ican attest to this, Like I'm
such a beginner in this whole relationshipthing. I'm so happy where I'm at
right now, you know, Yo, I'm so happy. It's fun.
It's a fun time. But it'slike everything you're saying, like I had
to apply that what I'm saying,I really had to, like you know,
(16:59):
get out of my comfort zone toreally like you know, explore what's
out there and like you know,you know, just like billed to somebody
in the process, like yeah,bro. And the thing is, I
was scared. I didn't think Iwas capable of doing it. I'm not
gonna lie this is who I am. I'm not gonna but you, but
you're keeping a one and that's whatI'm keeping a hundred full throttle like one
(17:19):
hundred percent like you gotta. Thenthat's the And if you want like a
lasting relationship or like you know,a lasting dating experience, Broyo, listen,
we gonna, we're gonna, we'regonna get into this question that I
know you said. Why is itcrucial to stay patient when dating when finding
that one? Yeah, I thinkguys, patience is a virtue. Patient
(17:45):
is a virtue because you know why, because listen, guys, you gotta
think about it like this man,not everybody, Not everything comes overnight,
you know what I mean. Likeand and it's vital for you, guys.
Is vital for everybody to stay patientin terms of like, like everything
what we've been saying, build,you know, connect, bond, all
(18:11):
of this stuff takes time, takestime before actually being committed to somebody else,
like you know what I mean.And the patience is it's one of
those things where sometimes like it's itcould come down to the fact where somebody
may think that you are not intothem because you've been so patient or you've
(18:37):
been taking it slow or whatever thecase is, you know what I mean?
So I do, I do feelyou being patient is a mindset.
It's more of a mindset where interms of like you kind of know what
you want, you know what youexpect, you have your values, you
have your your morals and all thatextra stuff. But yeah, I I
(19:03):
do, I do agree on that, Like, you know what I mean.
Patience is Patience I think is keyto building a greater, stronger foundation
when it comes down to actually gettingto where you actually want it needs to
be at. And like to pickyou you got that. I wish I
got a clap bun over there foryou. Man controls right to piggyback off
(19:32):
you what you were saying when itcomes to like you know that person really
understanding, like if you really intothem while you're being patient process and taking
it slow, give that, youknow, find ways to like give that
reassurance of like why you're interested inthough mmm I like that yeah, so
like like but like how much reassuranceyou're giving up? You don't lesson the
(19:52):
thing. You don't gotta do toomuch like it just if it just pops
up, then like that's what youshould do. Like you don't gott to
force yourself to like sometimes like ifthat person just makes you happy, it's
just like it's just gonna come outbingo. Like the thing is I'm really
learning, like, Yo, youreally don't gotta do too much now,
you don't to really like you know, hold on to something and you don't
gotta compete. You gotta And that'sthe thing. You don't got to compete.
(20:17):
Fuck the competition, fuck with everybodyelse. Got you want to focus
on yourself and what you have awsomekids. Because I feel like a lot
of us, a lot of us, you know, and like I said,
like you know, we're all guiltyof this at a point in time
in our lives. People where wefeel that we are competing with one with
our partner, two with with everybodyelse in the world, you know,
(20:37):
on on on social media or allthat extra stuff. That's and that's what
I feel like a lot of timeswe we have this problem where now it's
a competition. Oh wow, shejust took me to roof cause I gotta
up her. I gotta I gottatake an ocean prime and I gotta do
I guess it's human I'm saying it'shuman. But it's like going back to
(21:02):
the reality of competition doesn't matter atthe end of the day. It's going
back back to the reality. Butit's like damn, like the reassurance thing,
like, oh am I doing enoughfor her? Like is she really
enjoying herself? Like I genuinely wanther to really enjoy herself around me.
Correct, I just care about herthat much. You want it to be.
(21:22):
You wanted to be organic organic,you know what I'm saying. And
that's what it is, like,yo, So people, guys, and
in all and all, be patientwith what you got going on. I
know you're trying to smash my boy. I know you're trying to smash tonight,
but come on, like if youreally But and I do, and
(21:44):
I do feel like that's a that'sa problem too, like because you don't
why, because it's like sometimes twopeople are that on the same connection.
One person may want one thing,one person may want another thing. You
feel me, but the problem isjust that you you gotta find that to
try to find a happy median whereit's just kind of like cool, I'll
do this, I'll give up thisfor this. Yeah, that's the sacrifice.
(22:10):
Correct, yeah, but like,don't if you don't want to risk
a lot. Well, look atme, I'm over here being thirsty this
first. Yeah, god, damnmy mom, it tastes great, YO
(22:30):
said, it's refreshing. Oh mygod, the thirst quenches in. But
yeah, like okay, all right, questioning, like, let's talk about
like what does it mean to compromise? Mm hmm yeah. I think compromise
(22:51):
is. It's great that you guyssay compromising is. I don't want to
say it's a it's compromising is tooto to give a little, to give
up a little to get more.Okay, we're gonna matter of fact,
we're gonna do this. We're gonnado this because I like this game.
(23:14):
What is something that you felt thatyou've compromised, what you took more of
a loss on? Yeah? Talkthat crap A no, ain't got them
bars be Oh my goodness, yesman, that's the thing. Like I
(23:37):
also asked that question about compromise becauseI don't fully understand it, you know
what I'm saying, because I guessI didn't have to compromise much in my
life like that when it comes torelationship. Yeah, but like for me,
I had an experience of being ina polyaramius relationship. M I was
the third party, Okay, soI had to The thing is, I
(24:02):
didn't understand how to really let someemotions go correct because regardless of how into
the person that I was, youknew it wasn't yours. Like I like,
the thing is, I sort ofknew it wasn't mine. But the
thing is, like, as wewere continuing this relationship, I guess like
(24:25):
I was starting to I was startingto be more invested in they started to
hurt me. So it's like thatfels and that compromise went out the door.
Yeah, I think that's I thinkthat's pretty much the only experience I
(24:45):
can really reflect on, Like Okay, I don't really yo, man,
I think that. Man, Icommend you, like you know what I
mean, because it's its It takesa lot, because it's like I feel
like we've all been in a situationwhere you're like that we wanted something more
from somebody else and then actually,you know, we caught feelings and were
like yo, damn, like Iknow, you know, like like I
(25:07):
get it. I can't help it, like into the person, but I'm
like damn, like she's not inthat space. Correct in other situations,
correct correct for you like ship.Yeah, I want to say, like
I feel like we've I want tosay, like to this and to the
point that you were saying. Iwas in a situation where like the vibes
(25:34):
were crazy and I was here.I was a freshman in college. They
got me, she got me.She was like, she was like a
junior bro. She was like ajunior Like. I was like, yo,
she's yeah. Like and then andthe craziest thing was it was just
(25:55):
that yo, I'll never forget,like you know what I mean. I
was just like, you know,it was it was, uh, we
was at a we was we wasmessing around with each other for a little
bit and you know, I thought, I was like, damn it.
I was like, Yo, thisis me whatever. So it was a
dorm party. Yeah, I wentthere seeing her. I was like,
Yo, what's up, what's goingon? And she did do I was
(26:18):
like, uh, what is goingon? So yeah, I took the
hardest yo. You know that walkershame. That ship was real being.
I walked back to my dorm kickingcans like yeah, but I'm good,
(26:40):
okay in the back the back beforewe get out of here? What do
you? What are you any anypositive things you gotta say or like any
politic remarks for everybody else? Ohman, yo, just enjoy enjoy yourself
your if you're not there, likestart that, start that process. I
(27:06):
hope it comes to dating, likeit's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna
you're gonna do some justice for that. When it comes to like really exploring
who you are as a person,it goes, it goes a long way.
I'm I'm a testament to this,is that the right way to say
people can really change. I knowit's it's it's it's the norm to saying
(27:30):
like people don't believe in change,Like nobody changes. It's possible. It's
just gonna take a lot out ofyou to do it. Damn. I
feel like you need to write somefortune cookies work at all. I just
can't help it. Like I've beena person that's just been ave, just
been a deep person that's you knowwhat I mean, bro, Like I
(27:53):
wouldn't be here if I wasn't onthis type of time. And that's what's
up man. You know, Igotta say talk to people all the talks
of person yo, yo, ify'all play in the field, enjoy your
life, bro. Just just behealthy. You know what I'm saying,
Like, enjoy your life, yo, have fun, but just yo,
(28:15):
keep it cool, keep it keepit cool. That's it, yo.
Listen, man, I respect thatguys really quick. Guys, a little
bit of words of wisdom. Listen. Have you ever been so drunk that
you was afraid to count your moneythe next day? More the story,
(28:37):
people, guys. If you gotme blocked, keep me blocked. I
haven't changed, guys. Man.Listen, man, I want to thank
you guys for walking out with usfor another episode of Peace Consequences Off the
books, people, Man, Igot my man Jay in the building.
Yo, Jay, how could theyreach you? Instagram? Yo? Instagram
th most of third t h UT M O s E th h E
(29:00):
third three r D underscore T threeI mean E T three dot sol that's
my music page on Instagram T threeunderscore on Sunde claud I got a bunch
of beet yo, my man,just I sound like he just gave his
WiFi password. I'm gonna tagging rightat the bottom people, man. But
they guys rocking out with us tillnext time salutation yo yeah,
Of A J. McLaughlin. I'mRyan Ruwie, I'm DJ Rich the Tough
for I'm Plinning Martinez and we arethe hosts of Opinions and Consequences, the
podcast, the show where Europeans canlead to consequences. So choose your words
wisely during the show. Yo,man, what's really good? People?
(00:29):
Man? Welcome back to another episodeof Beings Consequences Off the Books. I
know we've been gone for a minute, but we're backing the jump off.
Guys, you already know the deal. You know the show, the condensed
version of the full show, butyou know the thought provoking, sometimes controversial,
but always engaging and entertaining conversations.Guys, I got us guest in
(00:51):
the building. Oh, welcome Jayto the building. What's pof the try?
How you doing, sir man?Man? How you doing straight straight
workouts today? Oh? Yeah?Was it? What you do today?
Legs? Legs? Like? What'syour like? Go to it for legs?
Like? You know what I mean? Like, what's like? I
(01:11):
know how like a lot of peoplesometimes like you know, I'm talking to
you guys, viewers, I don'tdo legs, you know what I mean?
Only up top, only top feesure, I'll start exposed you.
So what's your what's your go towhen it comes down to legs? What's
(01:34):
my go to? Like like ajump? Yeah? Like is it leg
for us? Are we doing?Are we doing squats? Okay, I'm
doing leg press Okay, yeah,yeah, my new love right now when
it comes to legs, hex squads, squad oh oh okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay, it's like close close okay. Yeah,
I'm running like my balance and everything, like I'm still like a new
(01:56):
when it comes to like being morein touch with you, like leg workouts,
Yeah, I'm going in right now. Damn what you putting on?
How many places up there? Ihit two two plates? A yo?
You out here winning big doms.It's a great start, guys. We're
(02:22):
gonna get right into it. Man. Listen, man, this episode is
called the New Playbook. Let's getright into it, guys. Listen.
I want to talk about the differentmethods on trying to talk to a female,
share tips, tactics. What isyour approach in this new day and
age people, guys, Because Iknow it's a new day and age and
(02:45):
I know sometimes people need new,new, new, new directions on being
able to actually conversate with a witha female and all that stuff, or
you know whatever you're into. Yeah, yeah, whatever your preference is for
me, I'll say this, Ihad to learn a lot. I had
(03:07):
to go through. I made alot of mistakes to get to where I'm
at right now. When it comesto dating. Speak on it. By
the way, I'm off the market. I'm gonna just say that. Okay,
hold on, okay, okay,you see okay, Okay, a
little do the jungle juice people,the jungle juice. I'm gonna say this.
(03:31):
I don't think I think it's truewhen they say you don't gotta do
too much. Okay, you don'tgotta do too much. That's what I've
learned in the past couple of years, all right, Like you don't gotta
be corny, you don't gotta letthe ego like go crazy or anything like.
Simplicity is key to me, Okay, Simplicity like you know, a
little compliment like you know what,like if she wears, or like how
(03:53):
she's going about certain things, Likethey don't gotta be too much, not
too much, not too much.So it is your approach. More.
It seems like yours is more subtleapproach, more of a subtle approach.
I'm still I'm a shy guy,camera shy though, right, see that
crazy, that's crazy. Take usa long time to get here. But
(04:16):
yeah, very subtle. I'm aI'm a low key guy, like people
will say I'm mysterious. Okay,yeah, so I don't think you guys
do too much to really get tolike what you want? Now now,
now do you gauge that based offof the person's personality or do you gauge
that based off of is that yourtactic? Is that your way or method
of doing in any female that youapproach, like you know what I mean,
(04:41):
like because I feel like certain certainpeople you would approach differently based off
of how their personality is or youknow what I mean. Yeah, I
can say personality like if I ifI see you, like you know,
people showcase their personality with like youknow, yep, what they're wearing,
Okay, you know stuff like that. I'm a person that I like to
(05:02):
give a compliments okay, but likegenuine compliance. So what's like what like
are you are you are you cornywith the compliments or are you like I
just generally like if I see someonelike how so you'd be like nice buttons
like like, I don't know,I like that button on that ship.
Noah. I felt like let's saymaybe like let's let's say let's say they
(05:28):
had a nice shirt like oh,they had like on a regular like you
know, blue tea on but it'slike it's fire, it's hurt really well,
like I like that shirt the wayI like the way you rock.
It's really fire like stuff like that. No, I'm not gonna lie to
you crap that of you because guysand people people out there listen. Sometimes
it may see a corny but itmight just take them off that trajectory because
(05:49):
you know what I mean, becausea lot of people use the same stuff
over and over again, you knowwhat I mean. Some people have every
cliche with their compliments, like yo, damn more, your body's super tough,
you know what I mean. That'swhat I'm saying. You don't got
to do too much. That's whatI'm saying, that's not too much.
Part So he's going to simplicity routebecause like you could, when you compliment
(06:11):
in a genuine way, you cancould create a conversation off of that.
HM. Saying like you like,that's that ego stuff that you just like
your correct. What I'm saying likethat you don't need to do all that
to really get a person's attention.It's I'm gonna to you. I'm gonna
we're gonna take this mm hmm yo. Man it hits, it hits.
(06:39):
Come on now try Okay, they'renot playing listen. My tactic, very
simple, very simple, subtle people. I I I gauge. I'm a
gauger. I'm I kind of likesense out your personality, sense of humor
and all that stuff. If they'reuptight, I kind of shy away from
(07:00):
that. If you're upsight, youknow what I mean, because it's kind
of like it's not gonna go nowhere. Seems like you're too serious on life.
Hence you're too serious on life.I need somebody that's yeah correct.
But you know, I feel likethis day and age, in these crowds
nowadays, they're not gonna show correctcorrect, not gonna let that personality flourish,
because like it's just the way theworld is working right now. Yeah,
(07:23):
it's either you gonna be on acreep status or they mess with you,
right right, it's just like it'seither or so you gotta like play
the long game, and that's annoying, Like I don't want to do that.
That's tough, like super to Ican't do that to play the long
game. Yeah, no, I'mnot a fan of that. I'm not
a fan. Not a fan.I know you was you was talking about
(07:46):
you want to talk about why dopeople prolong staying in a relationship instead of
leaving if they don't feel one invested? Yeah, oh, I'm gonna take
the lead. I feel like Ifeel like a lot of times people prolonged
(08:07):
situations like this is comfortability. Ifeel like a lot of times they're not
comfortable. They know they got toocomfortable with their person where they don't want
to start all over. And Ido. I do feel like it depends
on how much you have invested versushow much you're gonna. You start to
(08:28):
gauge how much you're losing versus howmuch you're winning. But I do resent
people that do prolong and limit theirhappiness. You know what I mean?
Because I feel like a lot oftimes people limit their happiness because you know,
if you want to, if youprolong in something but you don't even
want to be in it. You'remaking yourself unhappy, you're miserable, you're
(08:50):
uptight' you know what I mean.I had to learn talk about it,
talk about it, talk about it. I was wrong, right, you
got a whole setup it b fire. I had to deal with that,
like I had, Like if something'snot working for you, like they might
(09:11):
seem like you know, they're theones for you, but if it's not
working, like you know in yourgut it's not working, but you know
it's like, oh, you knowthey're good people, like they might be
great for you in the long run, but at the same time, if
you're not feeling it in like inyour heart, like there's no point of
(09:33):
like staying in it just to likestay here. That's settling. Like yeah,
I'm like I'm understanding, Like,Yo, that's really settling. You
can't be doing that. I understandwhy you're short changing You're short changing yourself.
That's why I'm understand. I'm trulyunderstanding, Like, yo, you
can't settle out here because like,your happiness comes first. No, he's
not lying people. Your happiness shouldcome first, you know what I mean,
(09:54):
Like, regardless of whatever it isnow, now do I do.
I believe in sacrifices. I do. I do believe in sacrifices, but
like it's sacrificing with the person thatyou know is right for you and the
person that you enjoy being with.Yeah, but at the same time,
like, don't sacrifice anything for aperson that you're not fully invested in.
And that's what I'm saying. Andpeople be realistic with it, like you
(10:18):
know what I mean, Like looksare looks man, Like, you just
got to think about a lot ofstuff, like in terms of deep connections
like personality, somebody that you cangrow with, Somebody that adds value to
your life is definitely the keeper.Because the person that doesn't add value to
your life, you might as wellget rid of it. And that's like
(10:39):
you gotta do yourself that that service. That's what I'm saying. What's the
point of having somebody by your sideof the one you're not fully invested in?
Two? Is that that's that's adepression that you're crying for you on
mommy, bro, Like you guyswant to grow together, y'all want to
(11:01):
build something together. You want togo foundation together. If that's the type
of time you're on mentally, mM, it's not going to work out
if you prolong it at point,So like what would you say is something
where you should you give the ampleamount of time to to sit there and
evaluate the situation and be like,yo, I'm out. What's an ample
(11:22):
amount of time? You think?Like amount of time six a year after
like you know, being with themfor a good yeah, trying to like,
you know, rekindle something not likeyou know what I mean? Where
you're just like yo, I'm good, Like you know what I mean?
Where you where do you think thatthat time lap should be like ended that
(11:45):
like you know what I mean interms of be like all right, so
I like if you invest it,I know, in terms of like not
prolonging it, but like where's yourstart line for like yo, this ain't
gonna go look like how yeah,how long into it? Oh? I
guess it depends on the person orlike Okay, for me though, I
(12:09):
think for me it happened like afterfour months four months Okay, now that's
respectable. Yeah, I just couldn'tdo it, like yeah, but for
me though, but like, well, the situation I was in that was
like my first girlfriend or whatever,I didn't really get to know her like
that what I'm saying, like,I went like a week and get to
know her, and I was like, oh, let's do it. But
(12:30):
the thing is I didn't have experiencein the game of dating, and that's
where I learned all that. Okay, so I'm gonna hit you with this.
This is this is good segue intoanother question. How do you determine
whether or not someone deserves one ofyou? Yeah? How do you determine
(12:52):
that you really got to get toknow the person before you even like before
you even like you know, notjump the broom, but I mean,
like you know, take that leapof like getting to like commendment lor anything
like get to know them for likea good few months to like a year
a few months or a year yeartwo maybe? So do you gauge like
(13:16):
so like because you know, Ihad had a conversation with somebody about this,
Like you know what I mean,Like, what do you what do
you think is like the dating?How long is dating until it's official?
How long is dating until it's official? Yeah? Because you know what I
mean, because it's I feel likewhen that's that that percentage meeting Yeah,
on an estimate. Yeah, likethat's that percentage meter of getting to one
(13:39):
hundred where you're like, yo,yeah, I messed with you, right,
I feel like it's a good fivemonths to a year. Five months
to a year, I would say, so, like okay, but it
really depends on the person. Likepeople could just click in like a week
or two, but they really click, they really get to know each other.
(14:00):
Depends on people's mindsets because everybody's different, You're right, So, but
I would say to really get toknow somebody, it's gonna take a while.
So like what what is like?All right? So like you know,
and I and I agree with them, people like I agree with them,
like in terms of like I dofeel that it does take some time
to get to know somebody to getto that one percent marker. What are
(14:20):
some methods that you would suggest tosomebody else to help to help get that
percentage in a in a in atime in a more time of fashion,
timely of fashion, so you knowwhat I mean? Like some some some
some like dating ideas, dating tipsor or things that creates a more of
(14:45):
a bond where it's just like youget to understand your partner more and all
the extra stuff like will be somesuggestions I would say, Like one,
I guess stn't overthink as much.Okay, I'm saying, like, work
with what you have. I getit grow in a red pill blue pill
world right now, which is tome is kind of corny. I understand
(15:05):
the blue pill a lot or whatever, but I don't really care about a
lot. I think it's just ifpeople are meant to be with each other,
they're meant to be each other.What you want to but yeah,
just don't overthink it. Work withwhat you have, yo, Just just
be fun, enjoy well. One, you gotta enjoy yourself in order for
(15:28):
that person to enjoy you and forthem to enjoy themselves around you. Like
you got to really know yourself andlike what you're capable of, like what
you're able to provide and everything.Two, Yo, just always just be
on go with like whatever you havegoing on, Like don't be don't don't
(15:50):
I guess, just don't slack,don't sleep. You know what I'm saying,
Like everybody like everybody wants somebody that'slike that's moving within their lives.
Hear what you're saying, I'm withyou, because listen what I what I
would suggest just to figure back off. What you're saying is try to do
things that allow you guys to communicatedlead together. Like you know what I
(16:15):
mean, if it means going togym together, it means if it means
even going to supermarkets together everywhere,Like little little minuscule things like that don't
build a relationship. A lot ofyeah, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, you're good, don't be good.
A lot of times people just thinkthat going out to eat build a relationship.
It doesn't. It doesn't, itdoes. Don't build ship, bro.
(16:36):
So many yo, yeah, Ican attest to this, Like I'm
such a beginner in this whole relationshipthing. I'm so happy where I'm at
right now, you know, Yo, I'm so happy. It's fun.
It's a fun time. But it'slike everything you're saying, like I had
to apply that what I'm saying,I really had to, like you know,
(16:59):
get out of my comfort zone toreally like you know, explore what's
out there and like you know,you know, just like billed to somebody
in the process, like yeah,bro. And the thing is, I
was scared. I didn't think Iwas capable of doing it. I'm not
gonna lie this is who I am. I'm not gonna but you, but
you're keeping a one and that's whatI'm keeping a hundred full throttle like one
(17:19):
hundred percent like you gotta. Thenthat's the And if you want like a
lasting relationship or like you know,a lasting dating experience, Broyo, listen,
we gonna, we're gonna, we'regonna get into this question that I
know you said. Why is itcrucial to stay patient when dating when finding
that one? Yeah, I thinkguys, patience is a virtue. Patient
(17:45):
is a virtue because you know why, because listen, guys, you gotta
think about it like this man,not everybody, Not everything comes overnight,
you know what I mean. Likeand and it's vital for you, guys.
Is vital for everybody to stay patientin terms of like, like everything
what we've been saying, build,you know, connect, bond, all
(18:11):
of this stuff takes time, takestime before actually being committed to somebody else,
like you know what I mean.And the patience is it's one of
those things where sometimes like it's itcould come down to the fact where somebody
may think that you are not intothem because you've been so patient or you've
(18:37):
been taking it slow or whatever thecase is, you know what I mean?
So I do, I do feelyou being patient is a mindset.
It's more of a mindset where interms of like you kind of know what
you want, you know what youexpect, you have your values, you
have your your morals and all thatextra stuff. But yeah, I I
(19:03):
do, I do agree on that, Like, you know what I mean.
Patience is Patience I think is keyto building a greater, stronger foundation
when it comes down to actually gettingto where you actually want it needs to
be at. And like to pickyou you got that. I wish I
got a clap bun over there foryou. Man controls right to piggyback off
(19:32):
you what you were saying when itcomes to like you know that person really
understanding, like if you really intothem while you're being patient process and taking
it slow, give that, youknow, find ways to like give that
reassurance of like why you're interested inthough mmm I like that yeah, so
like like but like how much reassuranceyou're giving up? You don't lesson the
(19:52):
thing. You don't gotta do toomuch like it just if it just pops
up, then like that's what youshould do. Like you don't gott to
force yourself to like sometimes like ifthat person just makes you happy, it's
just like it's just gonna come outbingo. Like the thing is I'm really
learning, like, Yo, youreally don't gotta do too much now,
you don't to really like you know, hold on to something and you don't
gotta compete. You gotta And that'sthe thing. You don't got to compete.
(20:17):
Fuck the competition, fuck with everybodyelse. Got you want to focus
on yourself and what you have awsomekids. Because I feel like a lot
of us, a lot of us, you know, and like I said,
like you know, we're all guiltyof this at a point in time
in our lives. People where wefeel that we are competing with one with
our partner, two with with everybodyelse in the world, you know,
(20:37):
on on on social media or allthat extra stuff. That's and that's what
I feel like a lot of timeswe we have this problem where now it's
a competition. Oh wow, shejust took me to roof cause I gotta
up her. I gotta I gottatake an ocean prime and I gotta do
I guess it's human I'm saying it'shuman. But it's like going back to
(21:02):
the reality of competition doesn't matter atthe end of the day. It's going
back back to the reality. Butit's like damn, like the reassurance thing,
like, oh am I doing enoughfor her? Like is she really
enjoying herself? Like I genuinely wanther to really enjoy herself around me.
Correct, I just care about herthat much. You want it to be.
(21:22):
You wanted to be organic organic,you know what I'm saying. And
that's what it is, like,yo, So people, guys, and
in all and all, be patientwith what you got going on. I
know you're trying to smash my boy. I know you're trying to smash tonight,
but come on, like if youreally But and I do, and
(21:44):
I do feel like that's a that'sa problem too, like because you don't
why, because it's like sometimes twopeople are that on the same connection.
One person may want one thing,one person may want another thing. You
feel me, but the problem isjust that you you gotta find that to
try to find a happy median whereit's just kind of like cool, I'll
do this, I'll give up thisfor this. Yeah, that's the sacrifice.
(22:10):
Correct, yeah, but like,don't if you don't want to risk
a lot. Well, look atme, I'm over here being thirsty this
first. Yeah, god, damnmy mom, it tastes great, YO
(22:30):
said, it's refreshing. Oh mygod, the thirst quenches in. But
yeah, like okay, all right, questioning, like, let's talk about
like what does it mean to compromise? Mm hmm yeah. I think compromise
(22:51):
is. It's great that you guyssay compromising is. I don't want to
say it's a it's compromising is tooto to give a little, to give
up a little to get more.Okay, we're gonna matter of fact,
we're gonna do this. We're gonnado this because I like this game.
(23:14):
What is something that you felt thatyou've compromised, what you took more of
a loss on? Yeah? Talkthat crap A no, ain't got them
bars be Oh my goodness, yesman, that's the thing. Like I
(23:37):
also asked that question about compromise becauseI don't fully understand it, you know
what I'm saying, because I guessI didn't have to compromise much in my
life like that when it comes torelationship. Yeah, but like for me,
I had an experience of being ina polyaramius relationship. M I was
the third party, Okay, soI had to The thing is, I
(24:02):
didn't understand how to really let someemotions go correct because regardless of how into
the person that I was, youknew it wasn't yours. Like I like,
the thing is, I sort ofknew it wasn't mine. But the
thing is, like, as wewere continuing this relationship, I guess like
(24:25):
I was starting to I was startingto be more invested in they started to
hurt me. So it's like thatfels and that compromise went out the door.
Yeah, I think that's I thinkthat's pretty much the only experience I
(24:45):
can really reflect on, Like Okay, I don't really yo, man,
I think that. Man, Icommend you, like you know what I
mean, because it's its It takesa lot, because it's like I feel
like we've all been in a situationwhere you're like that we wanted something more
from somebody else and then actually,you know, we caught feelings and were
like yo, damn, like Iknow, you know, like like I
(25:07):
get it. I can't help it, like into the person, but I'm
like damn, like she's not inthat space. Correct in other situations,
correct correct for you like ship.Yeah, I want to say, like
I feel like we've I want tosay, like to this and to the
point that you were saying. Iwas in a situation where like the vibes
(25:34):
were crazy and I was here.I was a freshman in college. They
got me, she got me.She was like, she was like a
junior bro. She was like ajunior Like. I was like, yo,
she's yeah. Like and then andthe craziest thing was it was just
(25:55):
that yo, I'll never forget,like you know what I mean. I
was just like, you know,it was it was, uh, we
was at a we was we wasmessing around with each other for a little
bit and you know, I thought, I was like, damn it.
I was like, Yo, thisis me whatever. So it was a
dorm party. Yeah, I wentthere seeing her. I was like,
Yo, what's up, what's goingon? And she did do I was
(26:18):
like, uh, what is goingon? So yeah, I took the
hardest yo. You know that walkershame. That ship was real being.
I walked back to my dorm kickingcans like yeah, but I'm good,
(26:40):
okay in the back the back beforewe get out of here? What do
you? What are you any anypositive things you gotta say or like any
politic remarks for everybody else? Ohman, yo, just enjoy enjoy yourself
your if you're not there, likestart that, start that process. I
(27:06):
hope it comes to dating, likeit's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna
you're gonna do some justice for that. When it comes to like really exploring
who you are as a person,it goes, it goes a long way.
I'm I'm a testament to this,is that the right way to say
people can really change. I knowit's it's it's it's the norm to saying
(27:30):
like people don't believe in change,Like nobody changes. It's possible. It's
just gonna take a lot out ofyou to do it. Damn. I
feel like you need to write somefortune cookies work at all. I just
can't help it. Like I've beena person that's just been ave, just
been a deep person that's you knowwhat I mean, bro, Like I
(27:53):
wouldn't be here if I wasn't onthis type of time. And that's what's
up man. You know, Igotta say talk to people all the talks
of person yo, yo, ify'all play in the field, enjoy your
life, bro. Just just behealthy. You know what I'm saying,
Like, enjoy your life, yo, have fun, but just yo,
(28:15):
keep it cool, keep it keepit cool. That's it, yo.
Listen, man, I respect thatguys really quick. Guys, a little
bit of words of wisdom. Listen. Have you ever been so drunk that
you was afraid to count your moneythe next day? More the story,
(28:37):
people, guys. If you gotme blocked, keep me blocked. I
haven't changed, guys. Man.Listen, man, I want to thank
you guys for walking out with usfor another episode of Peace Consequences Off the
books, people, Man, Igot my man Jay in the building.
Yo, Jay, how could theyreach you? Instagram? Yo? Instagram
th most of third t h UT M O s E th h E
(29:00):
third three r D underscore T threeI mean E T three dot sol that's
my music page on Instagram T threeunderscore on Sunde claud I got a bunch
of beet yo, my man,just I sound like he just gave his
WiFi password. I'm gonna tagging rightat the bottom people, man. But
they guys rocking out with us tillnext time salutation yo yeah,
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