Ray "Mr. T" Thompson

Mr. T joins us to talk about dad life

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
This is a Bramble Jam podcast.I remember always pushing against the phrase it
takes a village story as a child. It was this idea that no,
it's the parents job. It's theparents' job. But at the end of
the day, the parents can't doeverything. Parents can't be all things for
their kids. Dad moms listening,you can't be everything for your kids.

(00:38):
Hey, dads, welcome to anotherepisode of Our Dad's Diary. I am
your bald, bearded and beautiful hostJonathan Parker, and I'm always excited about
our guests. So if you've listenedto these podcasts before, you know I
always said I'm very excited about theguests we're having today, but I'm especially
excited about the guests today because ourguests directly affects my boys. Now,

(01:00):
Titnis, you design, and I'mreally excited for you to be able to
listen to this episode, you know, ten twenty years down the road,
because you will have interacted and beenwith our guests mister t at the Karate
school for that long and you're goingto understand why this is so important.
As dad's role models are very important. Who our children look up to is

(01:23):
a critical part of their life.Believe it was Billy Graham who brought who
brought this concept to mind. Hesays that a coach at times has more
influence over a son or daughter thana parent because that coach has made a
decision to care for that child andinfluence that child. So I'm super thankful

(01:46):
for the role models at Upstate KarateSchool that mister T started. And mister
T, thank you so much forbeing on the show. Jonathan bearded and
beautiful. We are so excited tobe here. I'm honored that you invited
me to be one of your guests. So thank you so much. Yea,

(02:07):
this gonna be a great conversation.So before we get into a little
bit of what you do, let'stalk about the most important thing. Mister
T. Who are you a dadtoo? And tell us a little bit
about your kids. Okay, soI have five kids. I have two
females, two girls, and threeboys. And I'm gonna have to say
my girls. Who man, mygirls? I mean, if you're a

(02:29):
dad, two girls out there,if they've reached the age of thirteen fourteen,
hold on because it's going to getinterested. I got five kids,
like I said, three girls,two girls and three boys, and I
got there all alpha kids. Istarted all my kids training in martial arts
karate girls included. My oldest isfemale. She'll be turning forty on her

(02:53):
next birthday. I started all mykids training when it was three years old.
They had no option. It waspart of their I put the same
value on their karate, their martialarts training as I did on their school,
you know, because you know it'sit's it's UH a part of my
life. It's a huge part ofmy life. And I understand the benefits

(03:19):
that good martial arts instructor, goodteacher can heap upon their kids, their
students. So I started my kidsat three years old studying martial arts.
UH. Like I said, mydaughter, she will be turning forty on
the next birthday, my oldest daughter. I am all my kids and the

(03:39):
whole scheme of things or alpha's,but they're good. They're good, they're
good people. I trained uh UFCfighter Stephen wonder Boy Thompson. Some of
you dads may have heard of himout there, so and he is UH
of course he is my UH leadingfleete. When it comes to UH current

(04:03):
day competitive martial arts. I teacha number of I trained a number number
of athletes as well, you know, other than h Stephen Stephen. No,
Stephen's my second oldest. My daughterLindsay is my oldest. She actually

(04:25):
was competitive a competitive martial arts beforeStephen was. She fought uh in karate
matches and she fought in kickboxing matches. She was competitive in jiu jitsu.
So uh, all my kids wereactually, but she fought before Stephen.
Stephen is my highest currently to date, my highest level competitive martial arts in

(04:48):
the family. Uh, and inin in our school as well. My
son Evan was professional in mixed martialarts, uh fighter kickboxing, mix martial
arts. Is my youngest son,Tony, he is he is currently coaching,
and he's a dad. He's gothe's got two beautiful oh my goodness,

(05:10):
beautiful kids providing beautiful grandkids for me. And anyway, that's uh,
that's my kids. I got adaughter, Megan, she's got five kids.
Okay, yeah, and all mykids started their kids three years old
and three training martial arts. Yes, sure it did. My daughter Lindsay,

(05:30):
she's got four kids, every oneof them three years old, and
they started studying martial arts, startedstudying jiu jitsu under their dad, Professor
carlisum Chato, who is h who'sa brazil jiu jitsu master, amazing,
amazing martial artists. Oh my goodness, great man, great man. Wow.
So five kids, and the oldestyou said was forty, She will
be forty and her next birthday ifI'm not mistaken, If you're not mistaken,

(05:54):
well we'll fact check that right.So forty, and then your youngest
is twenty nine, twenty nine.So are the kids close when you say,
oh, yeah, they're tight,they're all tight. Yeah. They
as kids, they would fuss andfight and argue, and of course,

(06:15):
you know, I teach them martialarts and also teach them you know what,
you don't play around with your karate. You don't use your karatei for
the wrong reason. You don't useyour martial arts skills for the wrong reason.
So there were events, there weretimes moments in their upbringing. Word,
you know, they wanted to getout there and they want to scuff
around and start punching, kicking oneach other and excuse me, next thing
you know, one of them iscrying and coming to mom and dad,

(06:38):
and one of them picking on anotherOkay, you guys want to You guys
want to fight, that's what youwant to And you tell them, you
know, you tell them from beginningall our students. You know, you
don't play with this, you don't. You know, you use restraint,
you know. Yeah, somebody startsexcuse me, somebody starts a scuffle.

(07:00):
The best thing you need to dois try to remove yourself from it.
But if you feel like you insistupon, you want to just get out
there and scrap. Okay. Sowhat we did was is brother and sister
were picking on each other. Iwould and next thing you know, they
turned into a scuffle. I tookoff table, I moved out of the
middle of living room. I putthem in the middle of living room and

(07:23):
a bunch of kick on each otheruntil they got tired of it. They
would cry a little bit, neverthey never really hurt each other. But
next thing, you know, theone that was picking on the other one
is now feeling sorry because they're havingto pick on the other one. And
next thing I know, they're allcrying and they're loving each other. But
go, I'm sorry, you know, so it shut all that down.

(07:45):
Yeah, Well, one of theI shared this story with mister t before
we started recording, but it didfit in and when you were talking about
you know, when there is ascuffle, when there is a fight,
you know, try to diffuse it, distance yourself from the situation. Titus
was at the park with one ofhis friends, and you know, his
friend, for whatever reason, probablybecause they were angry at something, just

(08:05):
kind of hit him in the chestand Titus didn't respond in the same He
put up his hands and he said, no, no, we're not going
to do that. I'm not gonnahit you. Don't we don't hit.
And Jessica asked them afterwards, youknow, why didn't you hit him back?
What stopped you? And Titus justsimply said, I knew I could
if I had to, but Ididn't need to. And that is directly

(08:28):
from his time, you know,with the instructors at the Karates school,
that is teaching that idea of diffusingand not using what he's learning, even
at six years old. Yeah,you know, martial arts is is it's
it's it's a conundrum, it's it'san irony in that you know, we

(08:48):
moms and dad spends a lot oftime and energy and effort and money getting
their kids to the karate school andall the aches and pains that goes along
with that, and then you getthem there, the kids that get out
there, and adults too. Ihave loads of adults I got I got
from three years old up to peoplein their seventies training at our school.

(09:11):
So but you work hard to getthem there, and you do. You
go through all this and all therigamaroor that's involved with and the expense that's
involved with it, and they workand when they get there, they work
hard and they train and they developskills and it's like, man, I'm
working, I'm driving, and it'sit's tough and in hopes that you never

(09:35):
have to use it, you knowwhat I'm saying. Because that's the that's
the that's the lesson. That's that'sthe philosophy that we teach in our schools,
whether it be three year old kidor an adult, because adults become
knuckleheads too, and they get outthere and they learn these new skills and
they're excited about it. You know, they can get out there and you

(09:56):
know, hurt somebody. So butwe you know, we even instruct our
adults. You know what, you'redeveloping skills here and I'm turning. I'm
essentially developing you into being a loadedgun. You can't just go off because
you've got this new skill. You'vegot to use serious restraint because there are

(10:16):
consequences to your actions, you know, And we do it, and we
teach it to our kids in amuch more understandable method to where you know,
just because you learn correct, justbecause you know how to kick and
punch, doesn't mean that because somebodylooks at you wrong, somebody maybe pushes

(10:39):
you, that you should go outthere and start breaking things. You know,
excuse me. So so that theseare lessons that we teach in all
of our classes. It doesn't matterif you're a three year old or if
you're a full and grown adult.Even adults they need lessons. They don't
just need physical lessons, you know, they need lessons. Hence our dad's

(11:03):
diary. Really think about it,because you know there's dads out there that
hopefully will benefit from lessons learned andexpressed on this awesome podcast. So so
even adults need lessons to be taughtand learned because you know, they need

(11:24):
to develop as moms and dads andparents, and just as adults, we
need to continued development. This isgreat. So, I mean we've already
touched on it a lot, butlet's get real specific. We know being
a dad is full time attention,especially five kids, but we all know
that we have to pay the bills, keep the lights on, put food
on the table. So we've alreadytalked a little bit about the Upstate Karate

(11:46):
school. What does that look likeand when did it start? And what
is your bill paying job outside ofbeing a dad? Okay, well,
my martial arts business. It's abusiness, not so much. It's not
quite the business for me, asit is a love I started. We

(12:09):
started our school back in September ofeighty three. We started in a little
fourteen hundred square foot property, notmuch bigger than the studio that we're in
right now, and we really didn'thave a vision beyond just opening up to

(12:31):
school. Back in eighty three,I was much younger man, and I
just loved the interaction of teaching peoplemartial arts and I love to see the
smiler in their faces. So youknow what, we're gonna start at karate
school. We're gonna just start usto school, and we're gonna just teach
karate and We're just gonna have fun. Really had no idea that that would

(12:56):
it would evolve or develop into intothe school it is today. We started
off in a fourteen hundred fair footsquare foot property. Three years into from
eighty three eighty three, four fivesix, we moved to a twenty four
hundred square foot property and we werelike, oh my goodness, look at

(13:20):
the size of this space. Wewere We couldn't believe we were It was
that big. So we were there. We were actually in that space for
about a year and then just upthe street another four thousand square foot property
opened up and then it used tobe an old Western auto. It was

(13:41):
in downtown Simpsonville, so we movedinto that. We had no idea what
we're going to do it all thatspace, But over time we went from
a fourteen hundred square foot up intiltoday to a little bit over nineteen thousand
square feet and it's a gorgeous facility. One of the one of the pieces

(14:05):
of your name that drew Jessica andI into researching your school more than anyone
else's is you had the word familyin it called a family Martial arts.
How does the idea of family playinto how you do your school and just
how you thought as a dad,and getting families involved into every aspect of
our business, of our school.Our business is family arnted. For example,

(14:33):
my wife, she she runs thefront, anything to do with paying
bills, anything to do with thefront, the people coming through the door,
registration, just the greeting people.My sister in law she is there
also with my wife there. Wecall them to the dynamic duo, Miss

(14:58):
t and Miss Laurie. They runthe front. Mistique really kind of runs
the whole ship everything. Yeah,she's the brain trust. So so she
she cracks a whip and everybody jumps. I run the back, which which
is the training, the more sportsaspect of our of our business. So

(15:20):
my oldest son, Stephen, heis the head kids instructor. My youngest
son Tony, he is the team'sinstructor. Myself, I teach my little
dragons, which from a little threeand four year old, I head that
up, and I teach all theadults. Okay, so we have family

(15:45):
literally family running our business, runningour school, but we have programs classes
for entire families. We can wecan teach three year olds, we can
teach uh that youngest family member.We can teach the kids five through ten,

(16:12):
eleven, twelve, uh in inour kids program. We got classes
for our teenagers, we got classesfor adults. We have karate classes,
karate programs, we have jiu jitsuprograms, we have mixed martial arts programs,
and we have all these programs toaccommodate whether you do want to be

(16:37):
a competitive athlete martial arts or whetheryou don't. We try to cater to
the entire family. And our familyruns the family business, so we were
and we try to try to.We've developed I think we've developed an atmospere

(17:00):
fear. It's family oriented, youknow what I'm saying. It's a it's
a it's not a typical gem typeenvironment. Right. One of the things
we were talking about too, whichis what I love about this concept of
role models. So Dad's you're listening, pay attention to this. The men

(17:22):
and women that speak into your kid'slife, those your kids are going to
take that home and they're going tostart repeating that. And the influence there
is going to influence at the house. And what I love about what the
boys get to experience at the schoolis we take what they're learning there and
infuse it into our family dynamic.So for us, karate Upstate karate is

(17:42):
part of our family because we usethe words self control, we use the
words courtesy, we use the wordsrespect. So from a role model standpoint,
Dad, if you don't like someof the behaviors that you're seeing at
home, one of the things youneed to do is what environment are you
putting your kids in that they're beingspoken into an influenced by. Because what
environment you put your kids into,your taking responsibility and accountability for the influence

(18:06):
those role models are having. SoI just again want to thank you for
the environment that you have created there. I appreciate that part of our family.
We tried. We work hard alsoto make sure that that we have
a wholesome environment, you know whatI'm saying. So we're particular about the
music that we play. We don'tjust play anything out there. Excuse me.

(18:29):
Occasionally we might get a little risky, but we just as soon as
we find something to come on.But we nix in that, you know
what I'm saying, because we wantour kids. We don't want our kids
to we don't want to be poundinganything into their head through our We definitely
don't interaction. We work very hardto make sure our kids, our students
where they've keep whether their kids oradults, it doesn't matter. We worked

(18:52):
real hard to make sure that theyunderstand that, Yes, who won't you
to be skilled martial artists, butwe want you to be good people.
At the end of my adult classes, I'll bring them together, and not
everyone every class, but most ofthem, I'll give them a little bit

(19:14):
of a life lesson if you will. We might discuss respect, might discuss
courtesy, and we do that inour kids classes as well. You know,
modesty, courtesy, integrity, selfcontrol, perseverance, and indomitable spirit.
These are life lessons that we tryto constantly cycle to all of our

(19:40):
students so that they you know,we want to develop good martial artists,
but it's more important to develop goodpeople. Yeah, so we've we've talked
a little bit about you and alittle bit about your kids. Before we
keep talking about your dad life.Let's go back in time a little bit.
Let's talk about your relationship with yourdad. So as you look back
on your life now, how wouldyou have described your ship with your dad

(20:00):
when you were a kid and ateenager. Well, honestly, my dad
was a working machine. He wasa working machine. He had a work
ethic like no other. And unfortunatelynow I learned a lot from his work
ethic and his sttuitiveness. Something wastough. He just didn't give up on
it. He just he just keptworking. He was a working man.

(20:21):
He was. He was a bigthought. He was also he led a
rough life too. He's from thehills of West Virginia. He uh didn't
make it past the sixth grade,went into the navy. Was there for
for a bit. I don't reallymy dad. My dad passed away in
a car accident back in the mideighties. So excuse me. I My

(20:48):
relationship with him as a young manwasn't the best. It wasn't bad.
It's just that it wasn't a tightconnection, you know what I'm saying,
like I have with my kid today. You know, he was he was
a hard working fellow and and uhhe uh he he wasn't as loving a

(21:11):
father as uh that I tried tobeat at my kids. So it wasn't
you know, it was It wasn'ta bad relationship. We were at odds.
Just that wasn't wasn't the closeness that, you know, I think I'd
like to have had with my dad. He was a good man, he

(21:33):
was a hard working man. Hewasn't he wasn't mean. He got a
little crazy every now and then.You know, he's from West Virginia,
so you know, he got alittle crazy every now and again. And
uh my mom. Uh. Iwas raised by my stepmother. She's from
North Carolina. So you got yougot West Virginia, hill Billy and North

(21:57):
Carolina. Uh King's Mountain, NorthCarolina. Wow, That's how I was
raising. Yeah. So but anyway, aside all that, my parents didn't
do too bad in that. Ohwhen it was time for me to go
into high school, going for mymiddle school into high school, I was

(22:19):
put into military school. Okay,yeah, not because I was a bad
kid. I was too afraid tobe a bad kid. Just my schools,
my grades round, they weren't thebest. You know, I'm not
one of those school kind of guys. You know, I'm I'm a hands
on kind of guy. Sitting sittingthe desk. I got to go,
I got to go do something.So I didn't do as well in schools.

(22:41):
Maybe I should have, so Dadsaid, Okay, you know what
you're gonna You're gonna you know,I'm gonna focus on I'm gonna take you
in military school and they're gonna showyou how to you know. So they
put me in military schools. Probablythe best four years my young man life.
I just it was. It wasthe greatest experience I ever I ever

(23:02):
experience. But it was an amazingI didn't help him the grade at all,
Yeah, but I got to Igot to do some really cool stuff.
And I went to a school calledCarlisle Military School. It was in
Bamburg, South Carolina. Literally.I graduated carlost in nineteen seventy four.

(23:23):
From seventy one to seventy four,during my military school experience, I joined
a very special team there at CarlisleMilitary and it was it was a drill
team, okay, and we traveledall over the country competing in drill competitions.

(23:45):
It was. It was just anamazing experience. I wouldn't trade it
for anything. If there was away that I could make a living or
could have made a living doing drillteam stuff, I would have That's what
I would have done. Really otheryou know. Now, of course,
martial arts karate once I had theopportunity to study karate whom I've jumped into

(24:08):
that and I was you know,there was no no turning back on that.
But if I had never taken thatfirst mar karate class but had the
opportunity to do live a drill teamlifestyle, man, oh man, that
would have been That was a greattime. We were such an we were

(24:29):
such a tight group. That camaradecamaraderie was was about as tight as I
could believe I could get. Andthen the traveling and the competitions, and
I was the I was a companycommander of a drill team my senior year
and lived a number and drill teamin the country at the time. Yeah,

(24:52):
we were a little national champion.It was amazing, amazing experience.
So then you know, your dadsaid, Okay, you're gonna go to
this the military school. Did thattransition? What you learned there, would
you say that helped your relationship withyour dad? No? No, didn't
help it at all. But butI learned a lot of things at military
school, things that I would probablyhave never I've experienced a lot of things

(25:19):
in military school that I've never wouldhave experienced in a public school just because
of the types give me the type, the type knit group that we were,
and the guys from all over thecountry that were at this school,
and all the different backgrounds of allthese different kids. Some kids were there

(25:44):
for because they were just rebel rousers. Some kids were there because they were
they needed to be toughened up.Some kids were there because you know,
they didn't care none by school.So I got the chance to hang out
and learn and row with a lotof these guys. And it's like guys
in the military. You know,they develop a bond something that's special because

(26:08):
they go through they experienced things thatthe average the lay person wouldn't. It's
kind of the same in the militaryschool in that environment, not quite as
as risky as like true military Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,

(26:29):
those boys and girls, but wedo we did have a chance to grow
as kids in that military school andenvironment. We're gonna keep this conversation going
about dad life, but we're gonnatake a quick break. We'll be right.
Based on your relationship with your dador what was lacking in that,

(26:56):
how did that impact how you raisedyour five kids? Well, the fact
that my father sent me to militaryschool, and I missed those four years
with him. That was you know, that would have been a good four
years to have grown closer to mydad. So as much as I love

(27:18):
military school, as much as Ias I gained from it, I told
myself that when my kids at thatage, I'm gonna I want to experience
their life during those years. Idon't want them to be away from me.
I want to be a part ofthat. I want to see my

(27:41):
kids. I want to I wantto see, you know, I want
to be a part of every aspectof their life so that we so that
they know that I'm there. Iam there, I am there, I
am a part whether it whether theylike it or not, whether they liked
the aspects of being there or whetherthey don't, We're going to experience them

(28:03):
together. So I wasn't going tolet them get away from me. I
wanted to be I wanted to bethat dad. I really did, and
I kept him closed. And nowmy kids are, you know, they're
out doing their thing. I gotI got two of my kids, uh
here at our my academy, here, our school that are actually part of

(28:30):
our business. And I have twoother kids, my oldest and my fourth
oldest. They are in Dallas,Texas, and they have their own marshal
of schools out there as well.Yeah, my daughter Lindsay, her and
her husband owned a school out thereat Jiu Jitsu School. And my son

(28:51):
Evan, he has a part Hehas a partner and they have their own
jiu Jitsu school out there as wellin Dallas, Texas. Yeah. So
you mentioned that your dad passed awayin a car accident in the eighties.
How did that affect you? Howdid that affect as you thought about your
kids? I mean the shortness andthe na it was. My dad had

(29:18):
very little chance to see my kidsgrow up. He had he didn't have
a big chance to be a granddad, you know what I'm saying. My
kids were very young. Whenever hepassed away, my daughter Lindsay, she
would My son Stephen was born ineighty three, my daughter Lindsay was born
in eighty one two something like that. So they were very young, and

(29:48):
there was several hours between us betweenmy dad where he lived where I lived,
so there wasn't a whole lot ofgranddad interaction. And then of course
he passed away in a car accident, so he never got a chance to
see my kids grow up and becomethe good folks that they are, But

(30:10):
he did have a big influence onthat. Is there a specific story in
your mind that really was like,this was a connection point with your dad
when you look back on the relationshipwith your dad, even though it was
difficult for most of the time.Is there a story that comes to your
mind where it's like, no,this is where we've really connected. Yeah.
Okay, So there was a situationwhere my dad was he was he

(30:36):
had a business that he was developing, and he was a hands on kind
of guy, and he uh,he would do he would if it needs
to be done, he would doit. He hain't hired nobody to do
it. So there was a pointwhere we were digging. We were physically,
me and me, him and mybrother. We were digging a hole

(31:00):
to put a septic tank in.Big hole. Big hole, big hole,
and we did it with his shovelHe did it with shovels. So
we dug this hole. It tookus a number of days. We didn't
dig it with a back hole.There was no back hose. We dug

(31:21):
this hole and he had this big, gigantic septic tank, a big thousand.
It was a big, giant fiberglassseptic tank that had to go down
to this hole. So we dugand we dug and we dug. Were
during the whole course of this diggingthis hole. You know, my dad
out there. He's out there,he's there there, he's there with us,
man shirts off. We were dying. We're dying. We're working outside.

(31:47):
So we out there, sweat andgetting burnt by the sun. So
he he choose. He choosed theback of okay, chess, red man.
So he got this dandy don't chew, and he's spitting and chill,
and I'm looking at him. Youknow, Um, I'm in my teams.
I don't know sixteen seventeen, Idon't know. Hold, I can't
remember old enough to dig a holewith a shrouble. Yeah, Dad,

(32:07):
let me trying something that. Areyou sure a son? Yeah? And
I'm trying. He said, okay, you hand me the thing, the
red man pack, and I bigger, and I stuck up my jaw and
I started chewing that thing. Andhe knew, he knew what was coming.
So I'm out there digging, man, I'm chewing, I'm spitting che
and I'm spitting. I'm making surethat I was swallowing anything, not knowing

(32:30):
that all this stuff soaks through yourjaw and your man you through your tongue,
and you still get you know,whatever the nicktea or whatever comes from
chewing the backup. So I'm notthere digging into I'm roasting too. Man.
So I'm spitting. I'm mom allthis joke, dude. Now you
know I'm manly. Man. NowI got this chewing the back of my
Next time, I started getting alittle queasy, I started getting light headed.

(32:55):
Oh man, he knew what wascoming. He said, go over
there. So I went over onand I threw up for a bit.
I threw up. Oh my goodness. It took me two days to get
over that. I had never puta chew to drop chew in the back
of my mouth since. But youknow what I had to do. I
had to still dig that hole.I was thrown up, but I had

(33:15):
to go dig that hole. Wedug that hole. That was That was
a life lesson that I have neverforgotten. H So, as far as
as far as relating that lesson tomy kids, maybe not that exact lessons
about you know, about chewing theback and smoking, and none of my

(33:35):
kids do any of that. Theyjust don't. It wasn't a part of
my life, you know what I'msaying. My parents honestly, they smoked
and they drank, they raised cane, and they chewed the backup and my
mom didn't. Of course my daddid. He did all that, and
they were all that. And I'mthinking, man and folks, is crazy
because they were, you know,the hillbilities. I'm just saying my parents

(33:58):
were hibilities, though they had alittle crazy streak on them. So I
just want to make sure that whenmy kids grow up, you know,
we're gonna try to see if wecan't steer around that mentality. You've accomplished
a lot in your life and yourkids, I always have accomplished a lot.
When you look back, when youlook at your life right now,
is there one thing you wish yourdad could have seen? Yeah? Oh

(34:20):
yeah, I wish my dad couldhave because my dad told me, he
told me what I needed to doto be successful in the martial arts business.
I didn't listen to him then becausewhat did he know? He was
my dad, and what he didn'tknow anything about martial arts? He didn't

(34:42):
know anything. He told me exactlywhat I need to do have a successful
martial arts business. Because I toldhim maybe it's sometime I might want to
do that. He goes, here'swhat you gotta do. So he gave
me his formula. I'm thinking,what does he know? Come on so
lo and behold. He was exactlyright. So I try to install of

(35:07):
my kids. You know, listento your dad, because you know,
more than likely your dad's experienced whatyou're about to go through. So listen
to your dad and see if youcan't take that information and cipher it through
your thinking. And see if youcan't, you see where what dad has

(35:30):
to say might be true, mightbe real. Dad's most dads aren't stupid,
you know what I'm saying. Andmost dads love their kids and want
their kids to do well. Soif your dad's going to give you information,
more than likely it's going to beto benefit you. So what I

(35:53):
try to do is is I tryto do my best to pass on information
that my dad or when I'm addressingmy kids they be adults. Though they
be adults, I try to makesure that they know that the lesson that

(36:14):
I'm passing on to them or mydad, you know, pass that on
me. It's I want them toknow that, you know I'm handing down
It's not just me. It's notmy thinking, it's not my what I
know that that I'm passing on toyou. I'm passing on to you what

(36:34):
somebody else before me thought was goodinformation. So my dad passed it on
to me. You know what,I think it's good. I'm gonna pass
it on to you. Take youknow, do with it what you will.
But it's not just me telling you. I'm telling you what my dad
told me. And then I andI'm thinking, you know what, it's
pretty good, So I'm gonna passit on to YouTube. So it's not

(36:58):
just it's it's it's knowledge from theages, if you will, because it
was passed down to him from hisexactly. I think I've read a quote
somewhere once my dad is getting mydad is getting smarter the older I get.
Yeah, I think there is thatelement too. You know, my
kids don't listen to everything I haveto say now, But when I look
back, Michael, I didn't listeneverything my dad said either. But man,

(37:21):
at thirty, my dad was prettybrilliant. Yeah, I was calling
him for all the advice. Ididn't take an eighteen. So you know,
Dad's right. Now, if you'relistening, you're like my teenage kids,
my college kids. They don't reallylisten to me. They don't listen
to me. You keep, youkeep passing down in an acceptable and appropriate
way, that wisdom. It's gonnamatter, that's right, exactly right.
And and you hit the nail onthe head when you say in an acceptable

(37:43):
and appropriate way. Yeah, ifyou try to stuff it down their throats,
right, well, you're gonna havea hard time. You know,
if your kids work their weight insalt, they're gonna bum, They're gonna
they're gonna they're gonna push back,right, And that's not a bad thing,
Okay, really, I mean it'sit's not good for the moment.
But the fact that your kids arespicy enough to you know, stand up

(38:05):
a little bit, you should beproud of that, right, you know
what I'm saying. Don't let themget too crazy with it, because you
know, there's still this hierarchy ina family. You know, there is.
You know, it's not it's nota it's not a level playing field
when it comes to a family,there is there's there's this guy, and
then there's the next guy down belowand then the boom. So there is
a pecking order, and there isa dad and there is a mom,

(38:29):
and there are the kids, andthere are the grandkids. And this not
a level of playing field. Soso you gotta you gotta, but you
but as a as a leader ofthis family, dad, you gotta instill
in your kids the quality traits youwant them to have. You can't just

(38:51):
let it happen. Well, howdo you do that? Figure it out?
There's no book on it, right, figure it out. What you
want your kids to be like.You want them to be, you know,
you want them to be rock solid, you want them to be calm
and passive, you want them tobe go get them, Go get them
whatever that is. And you're gonnahave five kids and they're gonna all be

(39:15):
different. We're gonna keep this conversationgoing about dad life, but we're gonna
take a quick break. We'll beright. There's plenty of parenting books out.
There's plenty of plenty of books out, but no book written about your

(39:37):
kid that's that one specific. Andif we try and my dad and My
mom and dad are some of mybest friends and also still my parents.
But they didn't raise me like theyraised Steven. They didn't raise Stephen like
they had to raise Annie. Theydidn't raise Annie like they would end up
raising me, because they allowed they'reparenting to adjust to the needs of their
kids. And I think there's alot of pressure on dad right now to

(40:00):
say, well, it's gotta belike this, It's gonna be like this,
gonna be like this. Not everythingworks that way. So passing down
that ageless wisdom, those those lessonsthat my grandfather taught my dad, and
my dad taught me, and I'mteaching my boys. Those those threads of
wisdom have lived on for ages.So dads, even if they're not hearing

(40:20):
it now, keep telling them whatis important, because it will come up
in that environment, in needful situation, and they'll go back. I remember
my dad said this, and youknow it's going to happen. Dads,
their kid, your kids are goingto do the same thing to their kids.
They're gonna remember what their dad says. So don't stop just because it's
difficult now or they buck at it. Now, keep keep keep keep going

(40:44):
on with that yeah, So ashumans, dads, as humans, if
you're going to be if you're goingto be a world class athlete or a
good athlete. Michael Jordan never dribbleda ball. He didn't. He didn't
dribble the ball one time. Hedribble the ball millions of times. He
didn't take one shot to be good. He shot millions of shots to be

(41:08):
good. So that being said,we as humans, we require repetition in
order to develop you know what I'msaying. So, same thing in developing
life skills. Same thing applies toparenting as a dad. If little Johnny

(41:29):
wants to stick his he wants totake stick his fig Yeah, figure in
the light in the light socket.Okay, you know what if he does
it once, boom, Okay,you know, he maybe learn a lesson.
He may try it again sometimes.You know, you got to let

(41:52):
him. Eventually he'll learn that lesson. As a dad, if little Johnny's
doing something wrong or you want littleJohnny to learn to be that lie is
wrong, Well then you didn't makesure that. Okay, little Johnny told
a lie. Here's what happens whenyou do that and little Johnny tells a

(42:15):
lie. Well, guess what LittleJohnny, it's gonna happen again, and
then it's gonna happen again. Soin in that lesson one, little Johnny
learns that there are consequences to hisactions to Little Johnny learns that Dad loads
him enough to make sure that littleJohnny doesn't do that. He's not gonna

(42:39):
let him get away with it becauseit's wrong. And I love you enough
son to make sure that we thatI stay on it, to make sure
that you know you learn that that'sthe wrong thing to do. I'm not
gonna just oh man, he nevergonna get it. No, no,
no, no, no, no. Dad, You've got to stay on

(42:59):
it. You gotta be if youlove your kids, if you love them
like you say you do, you'regonna be on it until they learn the
lesson exactly. And they take somekids longer. Yeah, And it's being
a dad is a lifelong job.So thinking about your current dad life,
you got older kids, all ofthem are somehow some way involved in a

(43:20):
karate school and all of that.So there's there's always an intersection of dad
life and work. You've blended thetwo quite marvelously. So what have been
some of the celebrations and challenges ofkind of disintersections. So when I grew
up with my dad, my dadhe owned nightclubs. That's what he did,
nightclubs. It was an environment thathe wanted his kids to be a

(43:45):
part of. So you're going towork with dad, what the thing to
do? You know? Now,Me, on the other hand, my
lifestyle is different on martial arts school. My kids grew up you know more
so I took my kids to workevery day. My kids, my grandkids,

(44:09):
they're they're at my business. Sothe lesson learned from me is that
are the benefit is that I cantake my kids with my to work and
that and they can I interact withthem on all levels of their lives,

(44:34):
not just not just on a physicallevel. I learned them I interact with
him on a mental level, uh, an emotional level, because we get
in their work, we train,and we do this, and we do
that, and sometimes the emotions,you know, get up a little bit.
But the downside of that is issometimes it's sometimes it's it's not hard.

(45:05):
It's not hard to take advantage ofwhen you're in the business mode,
when you're when you're on the mat, being the teacher, I'm the head
guy, I'm the top dog.Sometimes it's uh, my sons. My
sons, they kind of forget thatthat hierarchy still exists. You know sand

(45:31):
what I'm saying. You don't walkup to the general and say what's up,
Bud? You know what I'm saying, because he's your dad, right,
He's still the general, you knowwhat I'm saying. So so there
that's a little bit of a downsideto that. My kids, you know,
they're they're they're pretty good at it, but occasionally they all they all,

(45:52):
you know, occasionally it's dad andson and it should be uh,
mister T and mister Stephen or misterTony, you know what I'm saying,
Because we need to keep that.We need to keep that hierarchy in the

(46:14):
in the when when we're conducting business, so that our students see that there
are levels to life, their levelsto business, their levels to uh in
school, there's levels even in relationships, you know what I'm saying. So
our students need to see that thatare my kids adhere to that that mindset

(46:45):
of Okay, mister T is thetop guy, we need to show him
the respect he deserves. Miss misterStephen is the next guy in line,
and then his younger brother needs toshow him that respect. Excuse me.
So when our students see us demonstratethose things, then they they that builds

(47:07):
value in those the value of beingrespectful. That's what dads when when dads
treat their wives respectfully, and thosekids, their kids see that that dads

(47:29):
are treating treating their wives properly,and that UH and wives do the same.
Why you know, I know thisis a dad's show. Maybe there's
some moms and wives out there thatmight listen. Moms and wives, you
know, UH should definitely return.You know that that action once the once

(47:53):
the kids see that, they itbuilds VET, it makes that valuable to
the right. Something I'm saying today, I mean, I mean, I'm
I guess I'm a little old school. My wife, she doesn't have to
open the door when I'm when I'min her way, when I'm in her
presence, she doesn't need to openthe door. I'm gonna open it.

(48:15):
She doesn't need to, she doesn'tneed to pull a chair out. I
just I treat her with that respect, you know what I'm saying, because
she deserves that. She's a goodwoman. And she works hard and she
takes care of everything. So Ido everything I can to treat her with
the respect that she deserves. AndI want my kids to see me do

(48:37):
that. I love on my wife. I want my kids to see me
love on her. Right. WhatI'm saying, the old adage is true,
more is caught than taught. Imean, our kids are watching us,
students, watch you and your boys, and yeah, and we can

(48:58):
talk a lot of our world words, but they're they're watching and catching our
life in action. And we haveWe've had a couple dads on who have
worked with their kids directly and theybring up very similar celebrations and challenges.
The celebration is we get to goto work every day together. We're around
each other all the time. It'sawesome. But the challenges sometimes they forget

(49:19):
I'm their boss. Still sometimes they'lluse the dad word when they should use
the mister word, Like, no, this is a this isn't a dad
upset as a son. This isan employer upset as at his employee.
And that is a challenge. Sodads, if you work with your kids,
this is very common. So listento these podcasts again, talk to
other dads who work with their kidsbecause the challenges and the celebrations are the

(49:42):
same. Yeah, yeah, Iagree with you a thousand percent. It's
uh personally, I mean, Iwouldn't have near the way I'll deal with
those little challenges of yeah, thekid maybe forgets that we're in business work
mode, but I'll deal with that. That's not a problem. But it

(50:09):
is a never ending process. Asa dad, like you mentioned earlier,
you're always going to be dad,and you're always going to You're always going
to be encouraging your kids to dowhat you know and what they really know
is the right thing. You're goingto try to direct them, which you

(50:32):
should, at least I think youshould. Kids want to they want to
get out in there to do theirthing. That's great, that's good.
They should do their thing. Butthey should be smart enough, and as
a dad, we need to teachthem to be willing to take advice,
whether they like it or not,take it and then use it or not.

(50:54):
You know, Oh, dad,I got this. I don't need
none. No, I don't wantto know that. I don't want to
hear that. No. Oh yeah, you know, teach your kids that
it's okay, right, if they'resmart, they'll they'll take the device,
listen to it, and whether theyuse or not, well that's on them.
Well, So, talking about advice, what would you say is the
biggest lesson you've learned from your kids, the biggest lesson you've learned from me?

(51:16):
Oh? My goodness, I gota bunch of those. Uh.
One of the biggest lessons I've learnedfrom my kids as a group, I
ain't. No two of them arelike you know what I'm saying that,
so uh to be able to uhbe their dad and to dad them,

(51:39):
I got to do it differently.I got I can't. I can't dad
my daughter lindsay uh like I wouldmy daughter Megan. I can't dad my
my son, oldest son, StephenStevens. He's my oldest son. Uh.

(52:00):
For those of your dads out therethat follow the UFC, he's uh
UFC fighter Stephen wonder Boy Thompson.I just thought i'd throw that out there
right quick. Yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, I wonder
Boy MMA or something like that.I don't know anyway, I don't know
why I'm plugging his thing. Butyou're a dad, Yeah, I get

(52:21):
you're right. Yeah, yeah,yeah, pluging my boy. Yeah he's
got I don't know how many followa million followers or something, so all
that social media stuff. But uh, you gotta you gotta dad them differently
because they're they're all different personality.It might be similar, but there's probably
way more differences than there are similarities. But I'm proud of my kids,

(52:44):
all of them. My baby boy, Tony, Uh, like I said,
he's twenty nine. H Stephen.Uh, he's my oldest son.
He's he's of my five kids.He's he's the only one that's still available.
He's single. Kids. Now it'sa different plug. This is Oh

(53:04):
yeah, well I wasn't quite goingthere, but yeah, he's still available.
He's still no kids, so youknow he doesn't you know, I
don't dad him like I would myother two sons because they have both have
kids. My daughters of course,you know my daughters an't know everything anyway,
So you know, you can't doa whole especially these days, you
can't do a whole lot of dadand with dad. But uh but anyway,

(53:27):
so as as as a dad gettingout there and you got up love
on them as much as you canbecause you know they're gonna they're gonna have
their lives, they're gonna start doingtheir thing, and UH pray that they
pray that they as best they canheed the lessons that were passed down to

(53:52):
you, and that they do thesame for their kids. They're gonna have
kids, and they are either areor aren't going to direct those kids as
you know they should, right,Okay, So as a dad, you
want to make sure that you doeverything you can. One of the things

(54:15):
as a dad I try to doas well, and and and and pass
on to my kids is I wantmy kids. I want my kids to
stay in the Bible because you know, we're here on this earth. You
know, I'm the head of myphysical family here on this earth, but
I have an authority over me.I have an authority, and I want

(54:38):
my kids to know that, youknow, Okay, yeah, I'm I'm
I'm the head of this group,this group here, but I have I
have I have someone on high.Jesus is my is my provider. He
he provides everything. And I wantmy kids to know that. I'm not

(54:59):
afraid to say that either. Imean, you know, you know it's
I mean, it's truth. It'struth in my life. And I want
my kid to know that Jesus.The Bible says Jesus the Way, the
Truth, and the life. Mykids know that, and I want them
to pass it on their kids.They'll do with it. They'll do with

(55:19):
that information what they choose to do. But as their dad and as as
grandfather to their kids, you knowthey're gonna know Jesus if I can help
it. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, that's this That leads great
to the last question because that playsinto it. So let's keep talking about
it. You know, it's calledour Dad's diary. One of the ways
we've always we end with all ofour guests is to allow you to give

(55:44):
a diary entry to your kids.And this is part of the reason why
I started this podcast is if ifI don't make it home today, what
is the last thing I want myboys to hear me say. So,
one of the ways we end withall of our guests you to end with
the diary entry to your kids.Meaning if this was the last thing your

(56:05):
kids ever heard you talk about,what is it that you would want your
kids to know and to remember fromyou? So now you're not talking to
me, you're talking directly to yourkids. What is it? What is
the last diary entry you would wantto leave them for my kids, The
last diary entry that I would wantyou to know is that with all my

(56:28):
heart, with all my passion,with all my being, I love you
all dearly. But as much asI love you, as much as I
can love you as a man,as your dad, I can't love you
as much as Jesus loves you.I try. I can love you as

(56:50):
much as I humanly possibly can,but there is no love like Jesus love.
There's no love like Jesus love forus. Jesus loves us to the
point to where he gave his lifefor us. And as a dad,

(57:10):
I would love it such that youwould continue that message on your kids.
Because we're talking to eternity here,so feel free to to take Dad's input

(57:31):
and use it or not use it. But just know Dad loves you with
all his heart, all his soul, and all his might. But Jesus
loves you more. Lindsay, Stephen, Tony Evan, and Megan Megan,
you got a great dad and heloves you. He loves hundreds and hundreds

(57:52):
of other kids and adults, whichhe probably still calls his kids. I
guess you still call it fifty yearolds year kids, Titus, you Zion.
I'm so glad that the Thompson familyis involved in your upbringing, your
life. You're molding because you cantell from this podcast you can see it
in their lives that it is aboutkarate, but it is about life that

(58:14):
life has lived well. So mistert thank you so much for being on
the show. Parker Man. Alwaysremember be kind, give to others,
show respect, love your mother,never forget your dad. Is really probable.
So we have a tradition in theParker household, which we didn't know

(58:37):
we were starting a tradition, butwe did. And at five years old
is when we started to allow theboys to get into karate. So obviously
Titus was first, then Judah,then Zion, and I still remember how
exciting it was to see Titus's firstkarate class, and then how exciting to
see Judah's first one. But thisis what I remember about it more than

(58:59):
anything else, when you got yourbelt the first time, Titus and Judah,
the sense of accomplishment, the senseof excitement that you did something,
earned something on your own, seeyour mom and I can't be on the
mat with you. Your mom andI know nothing about karate or any form
of martial arts for that matter.We can't help you. But you got

(59:22):
on the mat, you learned thesemoves. You had to pay attention,
and you accomplished something, and youwere so excited you you were smiling,
and we went out and we celebrated. You know, Judai. I still
remember watching you in the stands waitingyour turn. You waited patiently for a
year until you turn five, andZion, you're waiting now and you can't

(59:42):
wait to earn, to grow,to learn these moves, to have some
sense of accomplishment. But what's moremeaningful to your mom and I is the
changes we see in your life athome, the changes we see in your
life when you're with your friends.How what you're learning in karate is making
its way into your life at homeand with your friends. You know,

(01:00:04):
Dad's if you're listening and you're needingsome extra help. I remember always pushing
against the phrase it takes a villagestory as a child. It was this
idea that no, it's the parentsjob, it's the parents' job, but
at the end of the day,the parents can't do everything. Parents can't
be all things for their kids.Dad moms listening, You can't be everything

(01:00:27):
for your kids. But part ofour role is putting our kids in a
situation where they can get what wecan't offer them, for them to be
molded, for them to be influencedin ways that we can't and karate is
just one of the ways we've donethat. And I love watching you boys
on the mat. I love watchinghow you're growing, I love watching you
accomplish something. I also love thatI can't be a part of it,

(01:00:49):
that I can just be a cheerleaderon the stands, cheering you on,
supporting you, encouraging you. It'snot always about what I can do,
but it is about putting you ina situation where you can thrive, where
you can learn, where you canbe influenced, not just to accomplish one
task, but to actually improve yourlife holistically. So Parker Man, You're
gonna probably gonna be in karate fora long time, whether or not you

(01:01:10):
go pro, whether or not youopen a studio or your own school,
or if it's just part of yourlife. This has been a critical piece
for us, and it is partof how we are helping shape you to
be the men and the dads thatwe hope and long for you to be.
Our Dad's Diaries, a bramble Jampodcast, can be found ad free

(01:01:31):
by joining bramble jamplus dot com.Is hosted by Jonathan Parker, produced by
Brennan Gray. You can find uson social media by going to at to
Our Dad's Diary, clicking that followbutton. See you next week.