Season 1 Finale

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
This is a Bramble Jam podcast.Don't allow the challenges of fatherhood, the
challenges of work, the challenges ofthe world in which we live. Don't
allow the challenges to cause you todistance yourself from the amazing rewards that come

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from being a dad. Hey,Dad's welcome to another episode of Our Dad's
Diary. And this is a specialepisode. Nathan's back it, yes it

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is. That was not where Ithought you were going because it is a
special episode, not necessarily because I'mon the mic, but because we are
wrapping up season WHOA we did anduh, I mean I do it.
We've We've been renewed for season two. That's right. That's right, they
picked us up for another season.Bramble Jam Podcast Network, thank you so
much, so much, Brand andDan. If you haven't gone to listen

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to Deck the hallmarkt you should godo that. That's right. And they're
both featured in episodes of Our Dad'sEyrie in season one, and their episodes
are pretty pretty powerful. Those Honestly, guys, your two episodes were the
ones that I might have teared upthe most. Sitting well, sitting with
the headphones on and listening to thestories they're pretty powerful. Well, Dan's

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diary entry to his his new boys, yeah, was super powerful. Yeah.
But we'll talk more about our favoriteepisodes here in a little bit.
But yeah, Dad's thanks for hangingwith us. We've got twenty four episodes
in this episode twenty four? Isit twenty four to twenty five? I
believe it's twenty four? Okay,cool, But you're we have counted and
recounted but multiple times now because wedidn't count the promo. That's right,

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if you don't count the promo.One, I think it's gonna be twenty
four if you count the promo,and it's gonna be twenty five. Yea.
So we're shooting for twenty four episodesper se. Yep, we're excited
about season two. That's gonna becoming out in a couple of weeks.
To tell all of your friends tojoin in. But Nathan, just like
big overarching what was some of thestandouts? What have you learned for our
Dad's Diary season one? Yeah?I think for me again and sort of

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towards the end of season one,I kind of emerged from the woodwork a
little more. You heard my voiceon microphone a little more so for me
transitioning from behind the scenes to beingon Mike and looking at the different perspectives,
I've just really appreciated how much morecomfortable, I would say the whole

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conversation set up has been, wherethis is a place for Dad's to be
real and for them to answer honestlyand you know, and leave those diary
entries and honestly. As I thinkabout my own episode where I was sort
of the you know, the subjectnot just one of these bas right,

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you know. I as I listenedback to that and share it with some
of my family, you know,I thought, oh, oh I should
have said this, Oh yeah,oh oh. If I was leaving my
last diary entry, man, there'ssomething else I could have said. It
has led me to continue to leavelittle breadcrumbs, little moments for my kids
and my family after me, whetherthat's through podcast interviews or or you know,

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writing out journal entries or taking photosand keeping a track so that you
know, I don't have to goback and say, oh, I should
have said that, or oh therewas something more. Well, as long
as I'm breathing, I can domore. Because we've had some people who've
done hundreds of podcasts and we've hadpeople who are like, this is my
first time in front of a mic. And I think the biggest thing that
I've taken away is that it getspersonal quick. And these dads from different

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backgrounds, different ages, different upbringings, we have so much in common.
I mean, the amount of dadswe talked to who did not have a
good relationship with their debt or evenhave their dad in their life is something
that I didn't know beforehand. It'snot like we screened these guests about their

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background, but also it's just somethingI hadn't heard talked about until these episodes
that from a cultural standpoint, atleast in our small would this be focus
group of these twenty four interviews,some of the dads and that are listening,
some of the dads have been interviewed, they didn't have good examples,
and yet they've overcome in so manyamazing ways. So one just the things

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we have in common. The secondthing is we don't Dads don't get to
talk about dad life very much.I think they talk about having kids,
raising kids, but with their friends, maybe even with their partner or their
spouse. I don't think they talkabout what it feels like to be a
dad, and I can see it, you know, after the first question,

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I mean the first question I thinkwe opened. I'd have to go
back and listen to it. Ithink we never I think the original question
we ask tell the listener something aboutyourself, and I don't remember when we
made the change, but hey,tell us who you're a dad too?
Yeah? That who your dad too? I think is what sets the tone,
because when they get talking about theirkids, talking about what their kids
are like, I feel like that'swhen we saw, oh wait, this

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isn't the same old podcast in thesame old way. This is a deeply
personal personal podcast. One of myfavorites was what I've already mentioned, Daniel
Thompson, his entry to his boysthat he read at their adoption hearing,
which is, you know, ashe mentioned, wasn't in this closed file.
I mean, I teared up.If you listen to that and didn't

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tear up, you need to goback and listen to it again in a
non in a non distracted way,because it was probably it was some of
the most beautiful words that I've everheard of Dad articulate to his sons.
One of the ones that was interesting, driguing, and powerful to me was
the one that was furthest from myown experience. Right, So, like

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you said, you know, youwe as dads have a lot in common
with a lot of these dads,but a lot of their experiences are very
different. Right as I recounted,Right, my relationship with my dad was
and still is very good, verystrong, and I'm super thankful. But
listening to Pete Lee talk about thedifferent ways that he had these stark experiences
with his father and father figures inhis life, from from a dad who

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was his biological father and left andwas out of the picture, or he
and his family moved away from toa step dad and then you know,
father figure all the way to youknow, looking at his own life and
saying, I'm you know, insome sense, I'm not going to repeat
the mistakes of the past, butthen ironically doing exactly those things, right,

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being a father who was a biologicalfather but not present at least not
in the beginning of his son's life, to being a stepfather, and then
being a biological father who was presentin his kid's life and just listening to
to the struggles and also the joysand the redemptions, like is never too
late to reach out, to takethe first step in to rebuild the relationship

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either with your father or father figures, and also to the children that you
have that you're a father too.That was it was really powerful. It
was very separate from my own experience, but but you know, there's a
lot in it that any father cancan apply and appreciate. Yeah, and
you know, obviously this is apodcast, so you don't get to see
the guests, but watching Pete's eyes, Philip with tears multiple times as he

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thought not just about his past butalso his present. Just so grateful that
now all of his kids are inhis life, all the kids are somehow
involved in the business. But inthat regard that it's never too late.
I think about one of the firstones of twenty twenty one with Jim Jim
Sevier, when he talked about whenhe made when he made the decision to

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leave his daughter and his first wifeto go take a job. You know,
just as he said, well,I thought it was just a plane
right away, but how much thatimpacted their relationship, you know, that
decision, that distance, But nowthey've reconciled. They now are very close,
talk very often, and it goesto the idea of it it's never

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too late to reach back out toyour kids. I think another moment for
me was with Troy Murphy out ofGreen Bay. I thoroughly enjoyed the vulnerability
of him talking about how his dadlived two different lives and you know,
this is what the dad you know, the dad you got at church and
then this is the dad that Igot at home and hearing how he has

(08:41):
allowed himself to talk to people andexperience healing. And I think all of
the dads at one point said,if not for my network of other guys
who I could talk to, Idon't know how it'd be the dad I
am today, which I think justcontinue to remind me of the importance of
dad's getting together and talking about dadlife. Is there another episode that Chump
Saturday? I'll go back to thevan Every Family where Patrick interviewed Patrick and

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then on the heels of his interview, actually his wife, I believe his
wife was there. They came intogether, his wife was hanging out with
us in studio while Patrick was beinginterviewed, and then their daughter got off
work at the at the coffee shop. Coffee shop there, I was thinking
ice cream. Yeah, she gotoff work. His teenage daughter got off
work at the coffee shop and actuallycame in and sort of on the spur

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of the moment, we said,hey, would you be willing to sort
of jump on the mic, Andso we were able to hear from Jalen
from a kid's perspective, a daughter'sperspective of how some of the how she
processed through some of the failures ofher parents, some of her own failures,
and how that the tension went backand forth between them owning a lot
of things, giving more credit backto her parents in retrospect, but then

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giving you encouragement to other other kidswho may be listening or just to dad's
or parents who were able to hearright someone on the other side maybe of
some some really darker or difficult timesto go. Oh like, some of
that still sank in right of someof that solid you know, relationship and

(10:13):
parenting that started in the beginning.Even if your kid is really rebelling against
it, um, it's going tosink and stay the course and you know
there is sort of light at theend of the tunnel. Keep loving your
kid and keep the communication lines open, and you're going to make mistakes,
but but don't stop the love,don't stop the communication, and don't stop

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having a home where your kid cancome back to. Jalen actually left left
home and lived with with friends orother families multiple times, multiple times.
And you know, just listening tothe van Every family and how she was
still able to come home and howmuch she valued that and then how much
she missed out on some of thethings while she was gone, and hearing

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her story and just knowing that storyis going to be powerful for her as
she goes on and builds her ownfamily. Yeah, I mean, and
the van Everys were on national news, right, and I mean Jalen was
the subject of multiple national shows andnewspapers and magazines. And for her to
trust us with letting her tell herstory, right, I mean she mentioned

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that, you know, one ofthe reasons I decided to do this was
you're just gonna let me tell mystory. And we didn't. We didn't
edit anything out. We weren't tryingto cover anything. But yeah, Patrick
and his wife's continued openness and loveto say, yeah we disagree, Yeah
we might be in an argument,but the door is always open. Love
is always there. And talking aboutlove. Oliver's podcast that it was all

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about love yea and spreading the love. That's always a good one to listen
to. If you're feeling a littledown, should just go listen to Oliver
talk about about some love. Butyou know, I think Season one for
me was also since this is adiary I'm leaving for my boys. I
mean, this is twenty four moreepisodes where I got to share our journey,

(12:03):
what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, and it is just a tremendous
gift for me to be able toleave this for my boys because we don't
take anything for granted, which you'veheard us talk a ton about. We
don't want to take another moment forgranted. In regards what Nathan said,
you know, if you're regularly checkingin, regularly living tidbits, or writing
things, or taking pictures or evencapturing things on audio, you know,

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Dad's like you have a mike.If you have a smartphone, which you
all do, like right, Idon't know our footphone is still think that
there's still a thing. They're stillout there, man. But you have
a smartphone. If you're listening tothis podcast, you're not listening to an
iPod. You're not doing that rightnow, It's not happening. You're listening
to a smartphone like you have avoice recorder there. You could start leaving
verbal diary entries every day in thatlittle voice recorder, upload them to a

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cloud a call today. You don'thave to have intro music, you don't
have to have guests, you don'tyou don't have to have producers. You
can just do this for your kids. So, as we wrap up season
one today, I look back andwith just a tremendous amount of gratefulness that
I have the privilege to have producersand get to interview these awesome guests.
But again, as I said before, if the only people that ever listen

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to us are my boys, that'swhy we did it, you know so,
Dad's I hope you're not getting ittwisted in your mind. I'm not
trying to tell you to do somethingto get a following, to get a
crowd. I'm encouraging you to considerwhat you can do to leave something for
your kids in a very intentional,thoughtful, purposeful way, so that if

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for whatever reason, your time herewith them was done, there is a
legacy of you talking directly to yourkids. Yeah, it makes me think
about the context that we bring toevery recording. And what I mean by
that is, I don't know howmany times, probably every time you sit
and do the interview with the dadand then when you do the lesson to

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your boys, or the memory orthe thought of the episode that is fresh
to the moment. And I don'tknow how many of the episodes where you
say, hey, just last nightsuch and such, right, which if
we had recorded on a different day, or the guest hadn't been available and
we had the reschedule, that moment, that dire entry would be totally different

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because it would have struck you ina different way. And I think there
are two big takeaways. Number oneis man like, every day is a
new opportunity, a new lens foryou to capture a moment for your kids.
And once that day passes, thatmoment passes, that that entry is
gone. You can't you can't recaptureit. But on the other hand,

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the which I mean that can bethat can feel depressing, right like,
oh man, I missed it andmissed that opportunity. But the flip side
is also true, every day isa new day, right, every day
that you have breath is a newopportunity to say, hey, you know
what happened this morning, or heyyou know this week, Like here's one
right, if we were recording thisat a different time, this wouldn't be
true. But my oldest, mynine year old, she just finished reading

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the seventh book in the Harry Potterseries. Wow, um right, Which
that's that's a big in and ofitself. Yes, it's a big accomplishment.
Not only that she record, notrecording it, she read all seven
of those books in January and February, so she read twenty twenty one this
year in two months. She readall seven of these books. And that

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stands out to me. And youknow, Jackson, if if you stumble
upon this and you're curious, uh, you know, I was really proud
of the accomplishment, but also justthe joy that came from discovering a new
world that she wanted to share.Right. So she would wake up in
the morning, I would go inlike it's still dark, and she sort
of pops her head over the overthem the railing, and she said,

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so and so dot no spoilers.I mean, well, if you haven't
seen the movies, you read thebooks. Yet that is not unless you're
a child, right anyway, So, and I don't remember, you know
Jack Jack died. There's no Jack. There's no Jack. No Jack Jack
died. You know. I can'tbelieve it. I'm like, yeah he
did. That was really tough.Huh. So, and so's a good
guy, not a bad guy.I'm like, he's he was a troubled

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troubled soul, wasn't he right?Anyway? Just the excitement that is in
her voice to to put this intothe microphone and go, you know what,
on this day, February of twentytwenty one, this is the time
when Jackson is reading and devouring thesestories and just excited to share it and
have these moments. And I've reallytreasured the chance to have that conversation.

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It's a tiny little moment that Icould I could let pass, or I
could capture it somewhere, and todayI capture it. Didn't here. We're
gonna keep this conversation going about dadlife, but we're gonna take a quick
break. We'll be right back.And so Dad's and if if anything that

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you've cleaned from this, and momstoo, okay, because we know we
have moms listening. Capture the momentshowever fits your personality and whatever's good for
you and your family. But thesemoments need to be captured. So we've
got some exciting things coming up forseason two. Though. We've got some
new some new questions we're gonna ask. We rethought some of the questions based
on some feedback from listeners and otherother dads who were who are paying attention

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to. We have some new questions. We're gonna have some guests. We're
gonna go off site. Yeah,I mean, typically we're in the studio,
but Nathan has bought some equipment.Yep, we're mobile. Now we're
mobile literally right now this this littlewrap up, we're in a different office.
We just wrapped up an interview againthat you'll hear in the beginning of
season two. But here we arewrapping up season one off site, off

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site, which is pretty exciting.We did technically start off site years ago,
then had a studio, so nowwe have offsite and a studio,
yeah, which would be great.But listeners, we're gonna do some more
creative opportunities. We're gonna still haveour interviews, some different questions, but
we're also going to interview hopefully morekids. We're gonna do some round tables
of a group of dads talking Pelion, some panel discussions. Um, you're

(18:11):
gonna hear a little bit more fromme and from Nathan, just on what
we're processing as a dad. Um, this is our dad's diary that I'm
leaving from my kids. So justhaving another opportunity to hopefully encourage and inspire
and empower you while also leaving adigital and a digital legacy for my kids.

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So you're gonna hear a little bitmore of that. One of the
things we're gonna do too, spreadout throughout the year, which I'm pretty
excited about, is we're going totalk to some single moms, and we're
gonna talk to some moms who areboth mom and dad. And we can't
discount this. This is a thisis a reality for some people. And
for these moms who have also hadto be dads, they have a totally

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different journey that a mom that hasa partner with them directly raised the kids
that they don't have. So I'mexcited about having some single moms on to
chat about their journey and to hearhow they've played both roles. So in
you know, season two coming up, which will be the rest of twenty
twenty one. In season two,we are going to continue to explore what
dad life is like, but we'regoing to start looking at it from different
vantage points. We're gonna start gettinghopefully more voices in and I'm pretty excited

(19:21):
about it. Nathan. Obviously you'vebeen part of helping dream and brainstorm some
of this. What what are youexcited about to share with our listeners for
season two? Yeah, I thinkhaving a variety. I mean, depending
on what your flavor of podcasts oryour preference of podcast is. It's sometimes
you know, there's episodes that youreally love the one on one interviews,
and you don't love the sort ofsingle cast or solo cast where it's just

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sort of a riff from the fromthe host. But I like a variety.
It gives you a chance to,you know, dip in every week
and have something new. So I'mjust excited about having a little more variety
for the listeners and hopefully that willgive them a chance to go, oh,
I I should share this episode,right, I should pass this one
along. Right. You know what'sfun about doing this is my mom listens
to every episode. Okay, ofcourse mom listens to every episode. And

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I think what's cool is when mymom calls and tells me what she's learning
from our dad's diary. Oh man, is that fun? You know?
And I think you know Nathan broughtthis up and sharing and here's do we
want you to like give us fivestars? Yeah? Do we want you
to write a review underneath that saysthat this is benefiting you and tell us
how we're doing. Yes, it'shelpful, it's helpful, but we're doing

(20:30):
this for our kids. But we'redoing this so you can share it with
other dads and talk to them aboutit, and sharing it is just a
way for you to start a conversationwith them, you know, share it
with them, ask them to listento it, and then take them out
for coffee or a drink or lunch, or next time they're over, say
hey, did you listen to thatepisode? This is what stood out to
me, And allow this to bea resource that you can use that will

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allow you to have a conversation witha dad. So we want you to
share it, not for our ownego, because we're not going to know.
We have no way to measure ifyou share this video or this podcast,
but we want you to do itto be able to help other dads
for sure. So we're gonna takea couple of weeks off, just a
couple of weeks, yeah, nota long time. A couple of weeks

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we're gonna have. We're gonna kickit back off with season two. As
you heard Nathan say, we've we'vealready interviewed our guest and I'm not gonna
tell you his name, but man, it was stellar, really good.
It was a really good one,and we're really excited about it. Again.
We're super thankful for Bramwell jam forhaving Our Dad's Diary on it.
And as we wrap up season oneof Our Dad's Diary, I just I
just kind of want to end onthis note. Being a dad has been

(21:41):
both the most rewarding and the mostchallenging thing I've ever done. I would
even say more so than being ahusband, because I'm married just to Jessica,
right, but I'm a dad tothree boys, Titus, two design
three individual people, three individual souls, three individual personalities. And it's rewarding

(22:03):
because it's it's a it's a gift, but it's a challenge because I'm really
new at this. I mean,Titus and I are exactly the same son
and dad you know to them init right, we're both learning this pretty
quickly, and you know it isrewarding and is challenging, and this is
just what I want to encourage youwith the end. Don't allow the challenges

(22:26):
of dad life to overcome the rewardingof being a dad. Don't allow the
challenges to drive you away from beingpresent. Don't let the challenges drive you
away from giving them access to you. Don't let the challenges and the difficulties
and the things you have to overcomeand drive you from creating a wedge between
you and your kids, making youresentful maybe even bitter towards them. Don't

(22:49):
allow the difficulties of the circumstances andthe culture, and come on, let's
not pretend there's plenty right now.Don't allow that to affect and enter the
vironment that you create for your kids. Just because something's happening all over the
world does not need to mean ithas to happen in your home. You
don't have to have the same conversations. You can talk to your kids,

(23:10):
explain and enjoy life with your kids. Go on and adventure with your kids.
Don't allow the challenges of fatherhood,the challenges of work, the challenges
of the world in which we live. Don't allow the challenges to cause you
to distance yourself from the amazing rewardsthat come from being a dad. And
here's the deal. The greatest rewardis that you are one. The greatest

(23:33):
reward of being a dad is thatyou are one. It's not about if
your kid wins basketball games, ifyour kid does great at school, or
if your kid opens up a business. No, no, no, that's
not your word for being a dad. The reward for being a dad is
that you get to be one.And what a privilege, what a responsibility,
What an opportunity to be a dadto love on some kids, to

(23:57):
be present with them, and tolet them know that no matter what happens
in the world and whatever they do, there is one person who will love
them unconditionally and always invite them backhome. Parker Man, never forget,
be kind, give to others,show respect, love your mother, Never

(24:18):
forget your dad is really proudable OurDad's Diaries, a bramble Jam podcast,
can be found ad free by joiningbramble jamplus dot com. Is hosted by
Jonathan Parker, produced by Brennan Gray. You can find us on social media
by going to at to Our Dad'sDiary clicking that follow button. See you

(24:38):
next week.