Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Paranormal Punches is part of the PodbellyNetwork. Go to podbelly dot com for
more great podcast. Hey y'all,this is Frank the Bigfoot and you're listening
to the Paranormal Punchers. Hey,friends, welcome to another episode of Paranormal
(00:34):
Punchers. Yes, to most ofeverybody's chagrin, I'm back. This is
Nash, I'm Mark, I'm Alicia, I'm Dave. The last time you
do the intro, You're great.Welcome back, buddy, thank you,
thank you. You know, somepeople like Sean and Left to comment on
one of our posts that he's startingto think you have been abducted. Yeah,
(00:58):
well, um, I'm I justwant to everybody know that I'm safe,
that I was not probed. Igave you back after they Yes,
they tried to abduct me. Theytried to probe me in there, and
I was like, oh no no, and they said, okay, well
you're done, give you back whateverwe're done with you. I assume he
drank the Aliens abduct him. Hedrank all their beard, hate their food.
(01:19):
They just brought him amount of houseand home gave him back to us.
Speaking of Aliens, Season one ofStar Trek Strange New Worlds is now
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All right, well, welcome back, man, and congratulations on your your
(02:05):
strong man event. Yeah, yeah, came in second place. I did,
which is amazing. Yeah, it'sokay, it's amazing versus versus the
goal second well, you know,yeah, it was a lot of fun
and the guy who beat me wasbasically professional strong man. So it was
(02:28):
it was five events that I didbetter than I expected, and uh yeah,
and spent the next week. Thislast week, I seen my entire
body and reliving the pain of gettingsecond place and every nook and cranny and
swollen body part that I have.So all right, yeah, there you
go, there you go. Well, I think you did great and you
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look like a monster out there.Yeah. So I thought it'd be fun
to talk about a monster, theMinerva Monster, a little creature from Ohio,
not so little, not so little. I'll set it up here for
everybody. Oh and then on thesecond half, we got a movie review
that kind of relates to a bigfootin Ohio. But I'm saving that because
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well you'll wait, just wait tohear all right. So this was like
back in nineteen seventy eight, therewas like multiple reports of this big three
hundred pound Harry monster. Not me, not you, I hope not uh
in this it was called Paris Township, which is two miles west of Minerva.
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Okay, oh, okay, Soone hot summer night in August of
nineteen seventy you're gonna start that different. You gotta be like it was a
hot summer night, August nineteen seventyeight. Evelyn Kata Kayton. I keep
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wanting to say Clayton, and it'snot right. This is Nash's first episode
back after taking a break to getstronger, and you're messing it off,
Kyton kayton. Um. She wassitting in the at the kitchen table with
her family and some friends and whenthey heard a noise in the backyard and
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their dogs started barking. Um upuntil this point, they had been hearing
like rocks hitting the roof where theywould hear noises outside. Um, they
had just they heard it before,and they just assumed it was either a
hermit or a crazed mountain man.And I have those in quotes right.
But at the same time, they'reokay with like a crazed mountain man was
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living the woods behind their house.Yeah, just throwing rocks at their house.
They're like, oh, don't worrythat, it's just nuts right right
out. Okay, okay, yeah, I got you, I got you.
So they glanced out the window andthat was when they saw something near
the woods, a six foot tall, hairy creature. A night or two
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later, which could still be amountain banquoint, honestly, it could,
they saw it again, but thistime it was seen peering into their kitchen
from the window. The outside lighthad illuminated it so that they got a
pretty good look at it, andthey also got a pretty good whiff of
it. They reported that it smelledof ammonia and rotten eggs. It was
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about right, you know, that'sa little different, uh, some other
big foot sasquatch settings. They talkedabout smelling like smegma. Right now,
we got ammonia and rotten eggs.Yeah, well, what I think what's
not being said in that and that, you know recounting of the tail,
was that the the Minerva monster hadjust re dyed eggs for the following years.
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So that's why he smelled ammonia andand and whatever else? Use that?
Do you use ammonia to die egg? No? But it semes like
vinegar. It smells like the housereeks of vinegar. Thought, ammonia smells
that cappy. Yeah, it waskind you're pretty similar. Yeah, well,
go to the bathroom. Well inyour household, I'm coming over.
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They reported that it was about threehundred pounds, with black and brown matted
hair on its head and its body, and because of that they couldn't see
any distinguishable like facial features. Um. They went outside to get another look
when a car drove by and illuminatedit in there in its headlights I can
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read, I promise. When itmoved towards them, they got scared and
they ran back inside. Apparently,well they waited till this point. I
don't feel like I feel like sothere their whole thing. They were.
They were kind of terrified as towhat it was. But it wasn't really
attacking them or anything like that.But it was at this point they reported
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it um to um, the policeor whatever, and Deputy James Shannon,
he came out to the house andthis is a quote from him. They
heard something in the window kind ofclawing and pawing. From what I remember,
I don't think this creature, critter, whatever the hell it was,
was trying to get in as muchas it was saying, hey, look
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at me. So it was sucking. Okay, So is the monster and
exhibitionist maybe just got its hair done? Yeah it was maybe it was just
it was said it was madded rightokay? Uh well maybe yeah, yeah,
look at me and he's out modelingand pulling poses and saying, come
on, take a look, takea look, okay. Or you know,
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this was at night, so ifthey had the lights on. Um,
now I'm thinking the wrong way.I was thinking it would act as
a mirror, but that's for them, would be a mirror. Uh So,
um, Deputy Shannon, what happenedhere? Day? I got my
windows mixed up? So what happenswhen you work on windows? Right?
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Wow? Deputy Shannon did not suspecta hoax. He felt that the family
had been had seen something. He'sbeen an hour or two at the Cayton
helm and then return when daylight brokethe home. I'm sorry, they got
a helm. Helme at home,Caton home. The home helm. It's
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magical. It's like a dome ontop of the house. It allows you
to see big feet, big feet, something like that. Anyway, he
came back the next day. Bigfoot No. Um, the deputy got
it. Yeah, Deputy Jimmy.Yeah. He and four other deputies um
searched the area looking for six orseven hours in jeeps or on horseback.
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Well, they were looking to seeif they were a jeep. They were,
because I'm really interested in that.They really went wrong. I mean,
I'm no scientists, but I'm notgoing to look for but they were
tracks and look for the tire tracks. Yeah they tracks. Oh my god.
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No, they were either in jeepsor they were on No, not
bigfoot. The deputy. Oh,that's where we went wrong. And this
is another How great would it beif he stole a jeep? Yeah?
And I mean and that would beon the news and the Yeah never mind
never standing in the back holding ontothe roll bars going it'd be like oh
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Jay with a white bronco, butit'd be a g plull of sasquash,
and the news helicopter would behind him. That I would pay, I would
watch. That's a movie idea.I have another quote from him. A
lot of people thought it was abear. Somebody thought it was a deer,
and I thought these people ought tobe able to tell the difference.
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Uh So, part of a skull, uh, either from a cow or
another large animal, was found ina pit behind the Caton home. Helm
and tufts of fur were found ona kitchen. What I can't read.
I swear I'm not drinking yet.Um. It was found on a chicken
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coop. What chicken coop? Sookay, okay, So they found the
matted pieces of fur in the chickencoop. Yeah, I think it was
on like a nail that was stickingout of the coop or whatever. I
got. Um and apparently the cadencethey had actually seen Bigfoot sitting on it
at one point, on the nail. No on the coop. Well,
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now, cube isn't super strong,I mean, chicken wire itself. Just
it all depends on I guess onthe chicken. Yeah, I don't know.
I didn't have a whole three hundredpound report. If he's sitting on
top of a chicken coop, well, I'm gonna interject that you might have
could that was actually kind of smallfor this creature. It's reported to be
considering a larger right right, Wellyou talking about now it's supposed to be
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between five to ten feet tall andthree hundred to one thousand pounds, right,
Okay, just make it sure.So I'm just thinking of my size
human, you know, sitting ontop of a chicken coope, even if
it was a well built one,it's gonna that's gonna be Yeah, it's
gonna be wobbly for sure. Yeah. But I mean if you assume that
there were hermits or mountain men outback, right right, Um, wouldn't
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you really kind of make like aFort Knox version of chicken coop? So
the chickens? Yeah, you knowyou good point, good point, good
point. Yeah. I like that. Okay, Okay, I'll give you
that one. It was a verywell built It was a very well built
chicken coop. Yeah, uh,Deputy Shannon heat But if he was sitting
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on confident where the matter fur comI know, I'm actually visually go down
the street where the neighbor has chickencoops and you'll sit all sit on it.
Now, but I've got to beBut because the creature is not wearing
any clothes, I've got to getnaked. Well, I didn't want to
get arrested today. Well that howam I gonna get How am I gonna
get toughs of fur in the coop? The toughs of fur weren't in the
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coup, right, they were stuckto the name that he was sitting on.
Right, So like he was justhe was just sitting there and his
fur like got hooked on this nailthat was sticking up. And as he
got down, it just right.Where was the fur connected to while he
was sitting down touching the nail?Probably either his took us took us.
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What depends on how long this is. I mean, if it's long hair,
could was there dingleberries? Yea hittingreport? Yeah? Was that nail
hitting him somewhere where the sun don'tshine or Unfortunately I did not research that.
I didn't look at the logistics.I just thought it was kind of
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interesting that he was sitting on thechicken coop. Yeah, I know.
Sorry, um anyway, peaked roof. I'm just saying how there's a logistical
questions, Yeah, Deputy Shannon,he interviewed residence of the home, So
the people that lived there, uh, I mean we know, I know
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anyway, friends and those in thearea. Missus Cayton simply described it as
a six feet tall with stubby legsand hairy indistinct features that turned to protect
two smaller ones that were standing behindit. Umatus, two smaller creatures.
Yeah, smaller creatures that were standingbehind it, Okay, before walking away
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into the strip mine, which wasright behind their house. I guess um.
Two days later, Mary Um,which I think was one of the
daughters, she saw the beast standingon the edge of a strip of the
strip mine, which she pulled intothe driveway, and five days later the
initial report John Um. Five dayslater after the initial report, John Nutter,
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a photographer, said he saw abear. Funny, he's like a
perfect name for a photography. It'sreally uh. Yeah. He said he
saw a bear about thirty feet awayin a wooded area. He took a
photo and left very quickly because obviouslyhe thought it was a bear. A
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deputy search area for ninety minutes foundwhat apparently was bear tracks. The photo
was fuzzy and grainy, and Iguess, yeah, all right, Well
that made the photographer change, likehe waffled on his story about a bear.
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He was like, I don't knowwhat it was. But now this
sighting made the front page news fourdifferent times, and this is the local
news. I think eventually it madeit out to nationwide because overnight their property
became an outpost for bigfoot enthusiasts andhunters. It got so bad the family
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had to put up a fence tokeep on lookers out. Yeah, because
at one point a van just droveup under the front yard, just right
into the front yard park and agroup of hunters got out and they had
like Doberman pinchers and their rifles,and then he's got to trek into the
woods up to the old mime.I guess to kill them. Yeah.
So I think then they put afence up because they're getting sick of that.
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Oh yeah, for sure, umI would do yeah, yeah.
The uh, the excitement of thissighting lasted into the fall, so like
it happened to this family for likemonths as far as like people just constantly
going through their yard. Um,so they were. They were definitely over
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it. At that point, thefamily received a lot of backlash, harassment,
and tawning from the rest of thetown. It was believed that the
family was just pulling a hoax forpublicity, but the Catons stuck to their
story. And this is from areporter, Barbara Galloway. They were very
plain, simple, down to earthpeople, and you could tell something had
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happened that really frightened them. Therewere never any inconsistencies with their story.
Story. However, many times wewent over it. I'm sorry, guys,
I'm having such an issue reading.Are you having a stroke? I
don't know. It's it's the nashkryptonite gone for so long. I've been
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really, really smooth, and I'mback in your ACQUI god. Yeah,
okay. So I have some otherclaims and other evidence that possibly happened around
this time as well. Um.Someone claims to have seen this creature run
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across the road near the Caton's home. It was root thirty, I think.
Um. It was a fog shroudednight and all of a sudden they
saw this thing dart out in frontof them. I don't think they told
anybody because they didn't feel like anybodywould believe them, like, you know,
it was a bear or something likethat. But a woman reported that
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she had been hearing strange noises inthe woods by her house since sometime.
That's just because of the creature goton the chicken cooper. Yeah, by
her house since sometime. I don'tknow, Yeah I do, and that
it sounded like a cat fight ora woman's shriek. Other neighbors also heard
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the noises. Um Rocks were thrownit nearby nearby homes at night, and
one neighbor was hit in the face. Yea in the face. Some claim
it would bang or pound on thewindows. Um the family. They had
a German shepherd and I guess atone point, um, yeah, I
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have here that this dog got soscared. I don't This isn't quote.
She got scared and dug a toneon the ground about six foot deep.
Yeah, now number one, that'sreally ambitious. That's incredible. Quotes Yeah
from how katon Uh. But somethingbroke the dog's neck. Yeah, yeah.
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They found her the next morning.She was still in her collar,
but her neck was broke. Thattakes some force. Yeah, dog now
And speaking of how Katon he wastalking like in that one movie we watched
um by small town Monsters that youknow, the mine, they would play
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hide and seat back there, andwhen rocks were thrown they kind of would
throw it back. They thought itwas like a game. And sometimes they
would even mark these rocks chuck them. Yeah, I don't know x whatever,
and that rock would be thrown back. So again, was this creature
just playing along? Right? Wasit if one person spotted like small big
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one with a couple of small ones, ye, little little squatches playing with
the other kids. Yeah. Now, Evelyn Katon, she reported in another
newspaper that she would leave fruits andvegetables in the backyard at night. Well,
but is that on like the multipileor is that just for the creature?
Well, I think she would leaveit for the creature, and the
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family would find large human like footprintsin the morning and the food was gone,
so m footpuntoputs. So they wereleaving the food out for yeah,
kind of like Santa Claus. Yeah, they were leaving fruits and vegetables.
But any if you start, ifyou start putting food outside, any creature
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there's gonna be creatures are gonna comeup. They're gonna be deer that could
be with Yeah, whatever I takespent the hermit that's living behind yeahever,
I take grain or old apples thatare that are rotting, and I throw
them in the backyard. They comeand take it. True. But do
you find yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean we find deer footputs,
but not any of the other creatures. Do you find human like footprints just
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when I walk around? Yeah?I know. Anyway, footprints ranging from
fourteen inches to twenty one inches werelater found. Yis Yeah. A tunnel
seven or eight feet long was foundin the dense brush that lead to I
guess a gully behind the Caton home. It resembled a nest or sleeping area.
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And I have a quote here.A person basically would have had to
go in there with a chainsaw andcarve out a perfect circle. And it
wasn't like that at all. Itdidn't look human and it didn't match the
behavior patterns of a bear. That'swhere I got the nickname the Ohio Grassman.
Yes, okay, so when Iwas doing my research, I did
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realized I just thought Ohio had abunch of big foot encounters in different parts
of the state. I didn't realizethat they were trying to They were basically
like his other name is Grassman.I didn't get that. I'm sorry.
The most famous yes grassman, Yes, yeah, yeah, because they dug
these burrows into the tall grass andthen they would eat the grass and then
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whatever else was left out. Yeahyeah, um, and then the sightings
they I guess there was a lotof animal deaths around this time too.
Um. So I don't know.I have a little extra here. Reporter
Barbara Kellaway. She had a storywhere a lion like tan colored animal on
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four legs, it walked with thecreature, and we were watching that in
the documentary that, um, theywould always see like a cougar or some
kind of other creature with the bigfoot. So it's obviously old woman,
hot slightly, no cougar, cougar, no an animal. Oh yeah that
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was I was like, wow,I'm just saying it's like looking good.
Yeah. So the Cadenes, theynever felt like they were in imminent danger.
They just felt like maybe the creaturewas curious about them, or maybe
like saying hello to the neighbors.Right, yeah, Hi, I'm just
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passing through. I don't know.Well, I found obviously this this odd
small connection. You were saying aboutanother creature to these things called the devil
dogs. So yeah, so theywere there. I guess you were saying
that they were sighted with like alion like creature. Yeah, these were
definitely more canine, So I meanit just said but it did say that
there were tan four legs and itwas like dog like, and so there
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was this whole side thing, andI figured it good on that path because
we could do a whole show ondouble dogs. But that was the other
thing that that was the only othercreature that they found with the monster was
with them of a monster. Werethese creatures that were like dog large canine
all fours or lion like? Yeah? Yeah, and you don't want to
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mess ule dog double dogs? AndI thought they were little chocolate things that
you could eat like hoes. Butnot that he were disappointed. I was
really this because he thought Sasquatch wasout there with that. Yeahs little debbies
and and and hostess products. Boywas I go host this new spokesperson.
That's right, Sasquatch. All right, what else you got? I just
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the last bit that I have isabout um this small town Monsters documentary.
Let's save that for the um.Since we're gonna bring that up. I
got an article. This is fromJune twenty, nineteen eighty two years after
Oh This went down the Akron BeaconJournal headline Minerva's Monster is almost like a
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pet by Barbara Mudrek. He's becomeHe's become, residents of the area say,
a fixture in the neighborhood. Everyoneknows he's there, but no one
pays much attention anymore. He hasa few eccentricities, such as regularly pelty
nearby houses with small stones, butmostly he keeps to himself and is generally
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considered a good neighbor, they say. The so called Minerva Monster, who
two years ago created an uproar thelikes of which Paris Township had never seen,
still is hanging around the densely woodedarea behind the home of Herbert and
Evelyn Cayton in Southeastern State County.Nearby residents say he's almost like a pet,
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said Mary Ackerman, one of theCayton's daughters, who lives nearby.
So, yeah, I guess it'scausing no harm, and at this point
they just grew accustomed to live andlet live, right, having the Minerva
Monster Marcus territory on top of theirchicken coops. Yeah, but there's only
you know, it's one thing.There's one thing, getting your roof pellet
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with rocks. But I'll tell youwhat the first time he messes up and
breaks the window. Yeah, well, and I didn't hear it. I
didn't hear or seeing something about aboutthe the chickens in the chicken coop getting
taken or eating right, he wasjust sitting up there. Now. I
did find another article where that thatwhoever put compiled the stuff on the Minerva
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Monster, there's an article about acult in Satanists in this area and up
around these lost mines, they werefinding like chicken bones, a lot of
chicken bones, a lot of deadcats. I even found some cats that
were being kind of starved and trapped. And I feel like they were trying
to say, well, they're blamingon Satanists, But was it the creature?
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Satanist would be an easy out andeasier out. I guess if you're
then blame it on a creature,I mean to hear them a Nerva monster
like yeah, yeah, oh,yeah, I was Satanist. Yeah,
not me. You gotta still findme satan as they're just down the corner.
And another article, uh talking aboutthey had some scientists come out to
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try to get check out the footprints. But the little slight speculation like why
are these creatures here? Did thevolcano I'm assuming they're talking about in Washington
when the volcano went up St.Helens. Yeah, that it pushed some
some sasquatch from the Pacific Northwest,pushed him out this way. That's pretty
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far. That's pretty fun. Yeah, and that was nineteen eighty. So
the I didn't say it was myidea, it was scientists. They were
studying the Nerva monster. Wow,Dave just really on top of them that
one, dude was nineteen eighty Yeah, what are these scientists talking about?
So last time I read an article, but there was a high number of
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it. Was it nineteen eighty theash? That's when it when the ash
came all the way to Pennsylvania.Yeah, I remember. Wow, I
don't remember because I wasn't born yet, but my mom told me that we're
gonna be huh nice, let's nicenice. But starting in nineteen seventy five,
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there was a high number of UFOincidents outside in and or outside of
Cincinnati, which is just a littlehopping skip and a jump from this area.
And it's only about seventy miles fromPittsburgh, which we know from a
previous show that that area is heavilywooded and filled with can guess guess anybody
trees? Oh jeez, come on, werewolves. Oh, there's a high
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number of werewolves in that mountain rangeright there. So I'm thinking that this
guy, this grass Lam Minerva monster, he was kind of there as a
protector the way I see it,because the werewolves can be dicks. You
know, Where was he when theum everywherewolf listener Nash is now upset with
(29:14):
us that every one of our warewolflisteners are Now I still like werewolves,
but I just see it there wasThere's there's a lot of werewolf encounters right
in that strip right there between Ohioand Pennsylvania, kind of near Pittsburgh,
like right on the border right there, and right on the border is right
almost dead center in the middle betweenMinerva and Pittsburgh. So as I'm thinking
(29:38):
that he was there to help outand keep the werewolves away. Okay,
with his ammonia at eggs met Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. That'll keep
a lot of people away, right, Yeah. And so I just that's
the way I see it. Isee that the Aliens planted them there and
one of there. There's like there'slike eight or so missile bases that were
planted in Ohio between nineteen fifty fivenineteen seventy one. So I'm thinking in
(30:03):
that the Aliens came down nineteen seventyfive, I'm a nerve of a monster.
They kind of put him there.They said, Hey, there's a
lot of these dog creature getting crazyout there, and they are own little
UFO voices, And I thought,you know what, let's put a protector
out there, put a couple ofso they're gonna have a little monster babies.
And uh yeah, he's out there. To help him. I think
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he's doing good. Now what doyou think if he uh there, you
go, that's completely different than thestory that let's just read it right,
well, I mean, he wasit's there to stop the werewolves, yes,
end of story. Yeah you're welcome, Ohio. Ya, yowe me
one, buddy. And if hecaptured a baby werewolf, yea and raised
(30:47):
it as his own then that wouldbe his his double dog, double dog.
Yeah, okay, say yeah,I was domesticated a werewolf for his
own purpose. I was thinking originally, I think because when I saw that
and I thought, okay, well, the aliens are maybe trying to do
some cross hybrid stuff. And Iwas like, no, no, no,
I'm really overthinking it. This isa lot more simple to your point,
Dave, That's what it was.He's like trying to domesticate these creatures
(31:11):
to make it a little bit easieron the residence. While he's there to
pick up trash and remove skid markson top of the chicken coops, you
know whatever, but just there tohelp out the general community and keep them
safe. Yeah, I mean thatchecks all the boxes, right, thank
you. Oh well, on thatnote, why don't we take a break
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and we'll come back with more Shenanigansmovie review. And I don't know what
the theories and Nash will have,so you gotta stick around. We'll be
right back, and we're back,all right. The Minerva Monster. But
you never heard the story told thatway, you know. And I didn't
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even think about it. I didn'tlook up the death count from like dog
attacks or animal attacks in that area. That would have been a good factoid.
I missed it because that could havesupported my theory Daddy was there to
help out and keep the werewolves inback. Yeah, you definitely needed that
to spry s. Sorry listening allright, Hey, if you enjoying the
(32:19):
show, why don't you and youlisten to us on Apple and Spotify hit
that fast star. We really appreciateit. It does help the show.
It helps us climb in the ranksand gets more ears on well stories,
like we just told him. Allright, they're going to welcome a new
Patreon member, Lewis Gray. Welcome. We do have a Patreon. It's
(32:40):
only one dollar. And what doyou get, Dave add three episodes,
yeah, access tore Discord, Yeah, and sometimes random content content that we
want to try Dave, Dave.Yeah, I'm sorry, I just threw
you at that, but we didhear Lewis. Sorry, it took so
(33:01):
long to become a Patreon. It'sokay, it doesn't matter. We're just
glad that's're part of the club.It's me Louis the dork from Twitter.
So you guys remember Louisa. He'sdropped in some comments and stuff, Welcome,
Welcome, and he has a storyfor us. I wanted to share
a cool story with you, guys. I was fourteen at the time and
(33:22):
my grandparents were living with us.My grandmother was actively dying from cancer.
It had become her time to go. As we were all standing there with
her, the room flashed bright andshe was gone. Everyone was taking a
loss in, taking a loss in, so we didn't talk about it at
that very moment. The next morningI had said something to my mom about
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it, and she said she sawit too. My dad and uncle said,
said so as well. We shruggedand went on. My grandmother's bed
was next to a window and onthe outside was a trio of bushes.
Well, we went outside. Themiddle bush was dead fried, even if
it was as it was hit byelectricity. All I could think of was
(34:07):
the flash, and then it hitme. My grandmother's middle name was Electra.
In a way, it covered meto know she must have moved on.
It was no longer in pain anyway. Thanks for listening. Keep up
the great work. I love thepodcast and it's it's my favorite. Also,
make Nash say Sheeboygan again. Thatdefinitely made my day, right,
(34:32):
Hey, thanks for sharing that story. So interesting, So what if she
did? Again? Sorry for yourloss, but so they saw a bright
flash when she passed and only tofind that bush like it was fried by
electricity. That that's pretty amazing.That's pretty amazing. Yeah, that's a
fantastic story. Yeah, and yourgrandma's middle name is Electra. I thought
(34:53):
that was only like comic book kindof name. Yeah, Electra, and
sheboygan. Now I just love He'slike also make Nash say all right,
hey, you want to share astory. Uh, just go to our
website. You find all the waysto contact us. I had made fun
(35:15):
of. No, Dave was talkingabout email, like, oh so antiquated.
You got a d MS. You'llfind all the ways you you use
whatever you would like to send usa story. Um, all right,
so we're gonna move on to ourmovie review. How calling everybody? Something's
happening here. Let's trying to whisperto me while I'm talking. Oh that's
(35:36):
right. Thanks for sharing your story, and we're going to send you an
official Parable Puncher sticker. So I'llmessage you so you can send us your
address and and thanks to Alicia.Yes you couldn't just said it in the
microphone. You had to whisper itme. Well, I didn't want to
distract you, but I guess Idid. Shows ruined. Sorry. Um
(35:59):
all right, Uh, movie time. So you know we've been experimenting with
trying to do a little movie reviewreview that ties in to the topic.
Yeah. Um, hopefully you're enjoyingit, but maybe not this time.
So the movie we picked is calledAmerican Bigfoot. It was originally titled camp
(36:21):
Out all one word with a Kcamp out. Uh. Now, usually
I will tell Patreon members what itis in advance so they can watch it
and send in a review that wewould read on the show. I did
not feel like making any of ourPatreon members watch this. This was not
a good, good usage of thePatreon Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so
(36:45):
uh this this movie retitled American bigFoot. I'm assuming probably to I don't
know, Salmoor, I don't.I don't know why. Uh two point
four out of ten on IMDb.Nice, there is a director cut if
you can find there, and oni NDB for some reason, the director's
cut is a five point three outof ten. Yeah. Is it like
(37:09):
a superhero movie The super Friends,where the Snyder cut was better than the
original. I doubt. I feellike somebody just made another entry and then
got out of friends. Would youhave to pay for the director's cut?
I don't know. Maybe that's whatit is. Maybe we're like, you
gotta get the director's cut. Thisis a five and a half instead of
(37:30):
a two point four, but youused to still how to give four ninety
five to buy it? I don'tknow. Here's the synopsis and also how
it ties into what we talked about. Enraged by the murder of its offspring,
a Bigfoot rampages through the countryside ofsoutheast Ohio. Detective Benson, ranger
Thomas, and Bigfoot researcher Hank scrambleto locate the legendary creature before it attacks
(37:54):
a group of teenagers on a campingtrip in an isolated place called camp Out.
The detective Benson is played by ZachGallaghan uh from Gremlins, the lead
actor from Gremlin Yeah. Yeah,oh wow he did another movie and also
Clinton how he did do another movie? Wow? Also Clinton Howard? Okay,
(38:19):
I mean you're I know you're familiarwith him because he's been in Star
Trek. Yes he was. Hewas as a kid. Yeah, so
does that mean that Ron Howard wasdirecting it. Ron Howard Martin. Now,
I was going to preface our conversationby saying this. I know it's
(38:40):
wicked hard to make a movie,and I really try to be respectful and
enjoyed, and sometimes things aren't justfor you. But I have some opinions,
and I'm gonna say him I'm sorry. S all right. Anyway,
this movie was made for three hundredthousand dollars. Wow, it had to
go to Zach Gallaghan. Well,did it go into the big Foot outfit
(39:04):
which is like the Bigfoot outfit whichthey showed a lot. If if that
was my outfit, I would havekept it in the shadows and I would
have used it sparingly. Uh Nope. And it had this weird the face
was like clay. Yeah, itwas almost like a clay face. Well
and they had three of them.Yeah yeah, but yeah, so I
mean peopleost have got them from thecollege. The uh like you have the
(39:25):
college kids put it together. Threehundred thousand dollars is not a lot of
them up high. They had toget those for free. Um. But
so basically have a movie. Wegot some we got some acting, but
we have the catalyst is there's aguy that's hunters out there and there's this
little sasquatch that peeks around a tree, and rather than be curious, the
(39:49):
hunters is like shoots them. Yeah, which okay, uh whatever, but
that sets off then it's parents tocame out killed that hunter right away.
Oh yeah, then they h Thenthey went into town and and kidnapped a
kid. I guess they're gonna raisehis kids. This is their new baby,
(40:14):
you know. Oh and just soI Dave, I don't know if
you picked up on it, butthe first bit of the movie, now
you can only make it thirty minutes, right, ye, But they the
dialogue was all a dr which meansthat they went back in and and re
recording because it probably like their audioprobably sounded like garbage, but it wasn't
(40:37):
SYNCD up quite right. Yeah,so the audio was slightly off and even
times I'm like, is that evendoes even Zach Gallaghan's voice right? It
was very strange. But then atsome point the movie they stopped doing that.
I think about the time Clint Howardcame on. Yeah, so I
don't have Clint Howard's like, Idon't have time to come back and do
a dr right, and then allthe audio sounds like somebody was standing behind
(41:00):
them running a giant air conditioner.This this guy, this ham and this
hiss and it's and sometimes they tryto cut it out. I don't know
if you ever watched a movie whereyou're you're going, oh, you have
some type of room tone and justdrops. Yeah, it comes back on
when someone talks. The audio.Now, Dave, this is an example
why I fussed so much over thosemicrophones. I was looking at you gotta
(41:23):
have good audio, yeah, andthis movie did not have it. And
it really I don't blame the audiofor taking me out of it. There
was other things that took me outof this movie. Oh yeah, Dave,
you watched thirty minutes of it,right, yep, So I got
basically to the point where the huntershot the kid um and uh, the
(41:44):
first part of it was pretty incomprehensibleof why any of those scenes meant anything.
Yeah, they didn't, and itweren't necessary to the show at all.
Well, it didn't seem that way. And they were introducing characters,
but at no point was their characterdevelopment. So I kept getting confused of
which one's the sheriff which one's theranger because they kind of looked the same
(42:07):
until you saw them driving a policecar versus a ranger truck and they were
both like dating single moms, andit was like, where is all this
coming from? How it just reallywas it was hard to follow. Um,
it didn't make a lot of sense. Yeah, right, And then
(42:27):
the um the videographer or whatever,he it went from static shots with like
three thousand different angles for every littlething, and then every once in a
while he'd throw in shaky cam thatwas more annoying than any of the bourn
movies. Shaky cam, and youcould tell her he's got this movie mentioned
(42:49):
the same breath as the board goodjob. And you could tell it was
a little budget because every absolutely everything, you could tell that they weren't um,
you know, trying to affect anythingon the set. They didn't want
to make any like he's palling ata shutter, there's no scrape marks on
the shutter. They don't pull theshutter off like they couldn't afford to do.
(43:13):
Well, that's what I was thinking, so so, but you saw
so there was a change. Doyou remember about how long in the movie
before the audio change happened that youtook the ADR stopped. It felt like
halfway right, Yeah, yeah,I didn't get to that point, So
that's what I'm thinking. So theytheir their budget hit while in the first
thirty minutes when you were doing whenyou were watching it, and then it
(43:35):
finally hit the audio. The audioguy was like screw it about halfway through
and then maybe but some of thebudget didn't make sense of the hunter that
kills the baby big Foot. Imean, did you guys notice that was
a taped on beard? Oh?Yeah no, but at some point it
looked real, right, So Isomewhere in the movie as like that Beard
(43:57):
la trial, but now that doesn'tlook real. So I didn't know if
the act or shade and they hadto do a reshoot, or if it
was always just a big beard andcertain lighting hit it and cavil every cavel
they no. My notes consisted ofmatted fur butt shot ad R is that
(44:19):
Zach's voice? And then fake beard? So yeah, I was like,
what is happening now? Go ahead? Oh, I was just gonna say
it did remind me of this topicthe Minerva Monster, just the way the
movie opens of the big Foot's thereat a house. It's making noise and
it's in this case, it wasterrifying the person inside. But it was
(44:42):
like, Okay, this actually kindof really fits, and then just goes
off the red. Yeah. Yeah. And then if you just take the
concept of the big Foot, it'sharassing that house. But then this hunter,
you know, I wish the hunterhad was more of a mistake because
he thought it was a d right, but he saw what it was and
was like just straight up shot um. But then the Bigfoot kidnap a kid.
(45:07):
I'm okay with the movie, likeall right, now it's a it's
a race. The sheriff. Theygot to save this kid from the Bigfoot.
Keep it this small story and justdo it well. But uh,
you heard in the description the shriffthey scrambled to locate the legendary creature before
it attacks a group of teenagers ona camping trip in the isolated place called
Campout. That came at the lastfifteen minutes of the yea, all of
(45:30):
a sudden, there's like, Idon't know, ten teenagers and then we
kind of get our teenagers out campingmovie. But I'm like, we're at
the point where you should be wrappingup the movie. Now we're introducing more
characters. Yeah, I was like, did the editor like forget that should
have been in the beginning of themovie. Yeah. I was very continu
(45:51):
But like I said, I likethe idea of them trying to race and
save a kid that's big foot kidnapp. I think that's enough to tell a
really uh you know story where theygot to save. Introducing all that just
don't not every movie needs to haveteenagers came and I can't I can't remember
were they like, were their boobscoming out? Like, like, why
(46:15):
were their teenagers for the movie?Probably for that exact reason. Yeah,
I can't remember, but yeah,I can't remember because I'm sure by then
I was just dancing around in thehouse is screaming about what is going on?
That was that was the last tengrand worth of the budget that they
held back there, Right, Okay, I need twenty five teenagers, most
of them girls nin bikinis at thisthing, because so yeah they most of
(46:40):
this movie was filmed in a weekwith a crew of fewer than six people
and with less than two weeks ofpre production. Wow, wow, Dave,
we talked about pre production, right, it's important. Yeah, that's
at least where you make sure youractors know they're lines. Yeah, Marcus,
(47:00):
it actually was filmed in Ohio though, right, Yeah, I think
the director is from Ohio. Okay. Um, So, I mean that's
awesome that he was gonna make amovie. And even the one guy in
the movie is like a long timefriend. All that's great, right.
I just felt like the script neededfour or five more revisions, right,
(47:21):
and it but it also if you'regonna do a movie about big Foot attack
of teenagers, that's the movie,right, and it's called camp Out.
Great, but trying to have ityou know, the baby big Foot got
shot and then he kidnapped, likeit just seemed oh. And then there's
also I feel like they were tryingto shove in some love stories. Yeah,
like it was both for both theranger and for the deputy. Yeah,
(47:45):
it was so much happening. Yeahthat there was no real good and
I could can I can forgive likebad costuming. Yeah, if the story
is compelling, you know, Icould be like I wish they should shot
that, you know a little bitless light and maybe had it you know.
Yeah, again, like I said, it's wicked hard to make a
(48:07):
movie r So sorry if you don'tlike my opinion, but just it wasn't
that good. I think if youwatch the movie with your friends. Now,
I did come across somebody calling ita comedy heart. I'm like,
i'd call bs on that. Ifeel like, now after the reviews were
oute, some people are gonna,oh, let's say it's comedy Heart.
(48:28):
You know, I think if wecan't be if the four of us were
able to watch together having a beer, we might have been able to have
more fun with it, you know, you know, listen, I sat
down to kind of watch it andyou know, take notes and review,
not knowing that maybe we should Iknow, mainline vodka while you're watching.
(48:51):
Yeah, um sorry, yeah yeah. I wonder if they had a bigger
budget, you know, for amillion dollars, what could they have done
differently and change that script around toagain give more character development, right build
up the right story. I thinkit would have gone a long way.
Dropped the cast some of the castthere was just too many. Yeah,
(49:12):
it just should have been less peoplerum and focused on like a smaller scale
story. I think they could haveI think this there was potential in here
with story wise, just so muchhappening. Yep, I felt like it
was two different stories. But aboutthe kids has got kidnapped by big Foot?
Oh wait, no, it's theteenagers at the camp that were worried
about. Yeah. It was justso I feel like they didn't even rescue
the kid. He kind of rescuedhimself, correct, didn't he like escape?
(49:37):
And then he he showed up athis house. So it was kind
of like the kid had enough ofthe stories. I just gonna save myself.
Um, I got some fun thingshere. So during his premiere at
Movies ten, located in Nelsonville,Ohio, the audience was promised a meet
and greet with the Hollywood actors afterthe movie. However, instead of the
(50:00):
advertise Zach Gallaghan and Clint Howard,only local actors were present. Yeah.
Clint was probably like, screw thisshow up for that? Yeah, well,
I'm sure saying it was Zach GallaghanAnd I was looking at first the
IMDb was showing all the actors andthey didn't see clintic first, I had
(50:22):
to click for more to see theforecast, and for just a split seconds
like, oh uncredited? Did henot want to be? Oh? I
can see that, you know,don't take my word for it. Here's
a review from Freak for Books onIMDb. Worst costume ever. Look.
(50:43):
I understand that sometimes there isn't abudget. I don't know who made this
Bigfoot costume, but they should havejust went to Halloween Express and been done
with it. I guarantee that ifthe elusive plot, the terrible acting,
or the garbage camera work doesn't makeyou laugh, the Bigfoot will. What's
(51:04):
vest what's best as in worst,is that they don't even try to hide
the terrible Bigfoot costume. It couldsay a lot of screen time. Good
job, guys. I'll remember thisone for a while. Three stars for
the lasts. Okay, Okay,So again, maybe if you approach it
(51:24):
as a comedy or as a theaterprofessor showing your students of this is what
not to do, or unless dissectthis and see what you would do differently
as a teaching film, well Iwill come back to that. Yeah,
because that's actually a point. Here'sanother one from Rod Labor. Okay,
(51:49):
I have to comment. I've commentedon a few Bigfoot movies now, and
I usually can't appreciate low budget movies, especially about Bigfoot. This is the
first Bigfoot movie so far. Iactually had to ask why in the hell
did they waste time making this?And complete waste of time? I mean,
the Bigfoot costumes aren't just embarrassing.Are just embarrassing. The blonde woman
(52:10):
whose son gets kidnapped while taking outthe trash was ridiculous. Do cops in
small royal towns just where the badgesclipped of their breastpocket like that? I
usually like Clint Howard in movies,but I just felt bad for him.
I stopped after the two idiots gothim on camera. That's enough for me.
I just can't take the costumes anymore. Yes, the costumes were bad,
(52:34):
the blonde woman, so we werelaughing because it reminded us of a
movie we made Yea with a prettystellar costume. Our fishman costume was pretty
good compared to this. But rememberwhen Nikki runs out, Dave's playing a
fishing game boarding or just a fishwarden. He's standing there over looking at the
(52:58):
water because that's what apparently fish fishwords. Um. She comes running out
of the woods and she's this hystericalthis fishman she's at her acting is just
like this woman who's lost her kids. She's just hysterical waving her hands and
it just made me laugh. It'slike, that's yeah, but I fee
right, yeah, yeah, Ifeel like Nikki probably did it better,
(53:20):
right yeah. So well, youknow, we were trying to make a
Bee movie comedy. So again,maybe this was the goal of the movie.
Right. Um. Another review fromOur Pain, Pure Crime. Someone
needs to go to jail behind thisgarbowl, this board dialogue at acting throughout
the whole movie. Mike Toddler's soncan make a better movie and act better
(53:44):
than these felons. Anyone gives uscrap more than two stars is on drugs,
not the good kind. Um uhyeah, that's I do not recommend
this movie. And yeah, ifyou want to give it a shot with
your buddies and a couple of beers, maybe you'll have a Maybe it'll be
(54:05):
funny, Maybe you'll have a funtime. Um, this is just my
opinion. I didn't care for it. But to Nash's point about the professor
showing a students what not to do, I kind of you know my comment
to Dave since Dave and I weretalking about taking Bigfoot Ridge of the comic
book and making into movie, Dave, this movie is an example what we
(54:27):
cannot do, right, We cannothave our audio that bad, our costume
that bad. Right, So andthat's that's a learning lesson. Yeah,
that's the low bars. So whenyou look at it, and you're gonna
look at the film you guys create, it's like you look at it and
go, is this better or thesame as this other movie? Me movie?
(54:47):
And if it's the same, andyou're like, oh my god,
we've got to redo this. Yeah, but you know, tells me that
we need to set our sights ona budget higher than three hundred thousand.
Yeah. Yeah, um, well, and not to get too convoluted with
stories introducing all the things that youguys critiques. You know that that's just
it. It's like, okay,well let's look at this. Let's keep
(55:07):
it simple. We should be good. I mean, even in the comic
book, we just scrapped the wholeDave character to try to keep it simple.
Um. Yeah, you know,and hey, you know the director,
anybody listening, if you say,well, Mark, have you ever
made a feature nith movie? No, So I get it. I understand
it's really hard. This guy didit. I had and I have not
(55:29):
so for that, and then yeah, kudos for going after it, run
after Dream and making a feature moviewith big Foot. Right to that,
I say, kudos, yeah,well, and you know, I guess
you know, definitely, you know, the accolade of completing that is great,
But rushing production like that. Wasthat the first time he had done
(55:51):
this, in which case, don'tstart with a feature length if you've done
other things, well, then youshould have learned on the you know,
get better audio, get better camera, show believe what he's saying, as
he won't, I wanted to jumpright in and make a feature knife Day's
like, how about you make someshorts? You don't even know what you're
doing? Well? And like onthe director's cut, was there was there
another like when you guys are watchingthis, well, I could tell you
(56:14):
right now I don't have your answerbecause I will not watch the director's cut.
Well, I've already done this.I'm just thinking that on the director's
cut, you know, with referenceto that, could the movie. You
know, you watch a movie andsometimes you're like, okay, that needed
another twenty minutes, with another twentyminutes, a couple of minutes here,
a couple of minutes there. Youcould have added this out of that total
about another twenty minutes. The filmwould have been a lot better. Is
(56:36):
this something like that? I don'tknow. I feel like if I could
re edit this, yeah, Imight be able to make it something introduce
it, but it would only befrom my March point of view. It
would not know the director had avision. Yeah. Uh oh. And
there was also these characters they weregoing to make a documentary and when they
were Turkey hundreds or something right again, like sometimes we would have we'd see
(57:00):
these guys and they've added no valueright to the movie. Yeah, I
know that. I think they weresupposed to be like comedy relief, but
the whole movie was comedy relief.Yeah. So again, yeah, what
I would have cut cut out alot of cast members. So the one
question I have for you. WhenI was you, you know, said
(57:22):
this is the movie we're gonna do, and I was looking forward. It's
on Prime um and I just wentin to Prime and I typed in Bigfoot
And this was like on the thirdpage of scrolling down. How did you
find this? Like I might haveput in a few more keywords, okay,
but it took place. It wasa big foot in Ohio, Okay,
(57:45):
maybe not. But the American bigFoot. I'm like, oh,
that sounds badass. Okay, Soso what you're asking Dave is Alicia,
what Mickey did you slip Mark tomake him find this movie? Because yeah,
he did this all on his own. I have not taken blame for
this. Well. I thought Iwas like, we should the movie should
somehow relate to the topic. Youknow, we don't want to talk about
(58:05):
a big foot high on that reviewCaptain America. So I thought this would
fit. And I'm always about lowbudget movies, right, and even first
time directors are going for it.But I just it just wasn't for me.
I just didn't know if you hitthe demographic where it shows up right
on your front page of recommendations,or if you're the type of person that
sits there for two hours doing nothingbut scrolling through the list to find something.
(58:30):
I don't know, are you sayingthat Google at the bottom, You're
like, Google already knows like Marklikes Bigfoot and crappy movies, right,
so just put this in the top. Ye for you is a little different
everybody else. Now, if youwant to watch movies about my Nerva monster,
I have two for you. Thefirst one the Monster of Minerva Bigfoot
(58:54):
Beyond the Trail. It's a newerone here by Seth Breedlove and his company,
small Town Monsters, and the originalthat kicked off, small Town Monsters,
Minerva Monster. Both of those you'llget good details bigfoot stuff. And
uh they're documentaries, right, soyou won't you won't be laughing at at
(59:17):
the acting, but you'll give youlike info and details about about this creature.
And I always wanted, I likewhat small Town Monsters does where they
make everything about you know, cryptidsand things like that, and I was
like, that's paranal Puncher should bemaking movies all about cryptids and the paranormal.
(59:40):
Uh ye, why are we notdoing that well? And you said
it took what their pre production forthat movie was a week two weeks of
pre production and in six days ofshooting. So are six cast members in
a week of shooting, no sixproduction team members for Yeah It rocked You.
(01:00:01):
I got you. I'm just thinkingthat in our timeline, because we
released a new show every two weeks, if we could tighten that up,
we could do with this level moviefollowing every single we can make one of
these every other week every other weekto go with the podcast. All right,
it's a little work mostly that you'llbe doing, of course, you
(01:00:22):
know, yeah, no, I'mup a challenge. Yeah yeah, yeah,
but we'll be starring in it.I always, you know, it's
uh. And then people can reviewus and be like what utter garbage punchers
are felons? How they know?All right, well, hey, if
you're joining the movie reviews, wemight keep doing it. Um, thank
(01:00:44):
you. Still when I open youup to checking out some stuff you might
never heard of, or save youbecause that's what we do here. From
the backed up toilet that this moviewas, yeah, all right, anything
else no, um, the smallTown Monsters guy Seth Breedlove he actually had
(01:01:06):
an encounter in Minerva. Oh andI have a quote from him because they
were on all terrain vehicles. Um, they were looking to replace trailcams or
something like that. Anyway, allI know is weird driving. And then
bam, there's this huge brown,two legged figure running. When I say
(01:01:28):
huge for some reason, the detailthat sticks out to me was the musculature
in his biceps in like the biceps. I'm sorry, So this thing is
running at an upright gate with darkbrown fur at a dead sprint, like
an Olympic runner, and it clearedthat space it maybe like an eighth of
a second. I like what Inoticed with his biceps. They were so
(01:01:54):
muscular, lean muscular. Anyway,he was running. That's all I got.
That's right, that's right, allright, Nash anything, No,
I'm just happy to be back.Yes, we're happy to happy now,
thank you, thank you, allright and again congratulations, thank you,
Dave. No nothing else from meokay for me either. Uh So,
(01:02:16):
until next time. Remember, ifit's not weird, it's not worth checking out.