January 23, 2024 • 27 mins
Get ready for a wild ride with the latest episode of Paranormal Punchers: The Tipsy Cryptid! 🎙️ This time, the gang dives into the mysterious world of a Bear sipping on White Claws. 🐻🍹
Join the crew as they uncover the bizarre and hilarious details of this unexpected encounter. From the choice of beverage to the bear's preferred flavor, no stone—or should we say, claw—is left unturned.
#ParanormalPunchers #TipsyCryptid
Join the crew as they uncover the bizarre and hilarious details of this unexpected encounter. From the choice of beverage to the bear's preferred flavor, no stone—or should we say, claw—is left unturned.
#ParanormalPunchers #TipsyCryptid
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:23):
Hey, friends, welcome to theTipsy Crypton. We are the paranold Punters.
I'm Mark, I'm Militia, I'mI'm Dave. Welcome to our bar.
Well, we're gonna talk about whateverthe heck we feel like. Is
belting okay on this one? Yepright, So grab us seat, join us
at the bar, and we're gonnajump into some all kinds of weird topics
(00:46):
or whatever pops into our head.Not constantly. Well, no, I
can't do it constantly. I'm notthat kind of a gifted person. You're
gifted enough. Wow. Wow,Well, thirty four seconds in the show
is already one. All right.Sorry, wanted like I read this article
and I wanted to bring it upbecause I thought you guys might enjoy it.
(01:08):
But this went down in Florida.Again Florida, Florida. This would
be shot, but this happened.Uh, let's see was it? September
Yah September fifth to twenty twenty three, a three legged bear, known locally
as Tripod was caught on ca Myhigh school man was caught on camera breaking
(01:34):
into home in Lake Mary, Florida, over the weekend and helping itself to
some snacks and adult beverages. Sure, the thirsty uninvited guest was caught on
security camera breaking into their fridge andcrushing some white claws. How do we
know it was uninvated or not invated? Well, it's a bear, yeah,
(01:55):
But would you not say that it'spossible that somebody was, like,
it would be an awesome It wouldbe awesome right now if a bear showed
up. No, a bear,It would not be awesome if bear walked
in here right now in Florida.You don't think that anybody in Florida would
be like, be awesome if abear showed up right now in Florida,
(02:16):
that they would probably set up ascenario knowing that there are wildlife loose that
if something like that happened, theywould be able to catch it on film,
make a story about it, makea bite about it, something like
that. So he uh so thebear freaking bear? Old? Yeah,
it got in the minifras in acrust, Three white claws, mango and
(02:39):
strawberry. Which one did he picka second of? It doesn't say,
oh no, well, out ofthe three it took, it says his
favorite was, Oh, it wasmango and strawberry. Not just so it
must have had a couple, musthave at least two out of three where
mango, which I'd never had thatflavor? Oh wait, is it mango
(03:00):
and strawberry or mango and strawberry?What? No, mango is a flavor
of white claws. Bear's favorite flavoris mangoing strawberry. Okay, I didn't
know they made that. I don'tknow they did. I didn't write the
news article. You're taking ownership ofit right now. I gotta tell you.
So the bear likes mangoing strawberry whiteclaws. Just to make sure that's
(03:23):
clear. Uh, And then itleft, Yeah, that's one. Does
I wonder what it would like raidthe fridge to eat all the food in
the fridge. No, it camein and uh just chilled out, crushed
a couple of white claws, andthen I don't know, it had some
snacks too, right, that's thesnacks. What once you start crushing white
clawss. I wonder if it wasreally a bear drinking sauntery. No,
(03:46):
they have it on the ring camera. Oh really not a sponsor. Okay,
helpful tool, but not a sponsor. So he had some snacks and
some white claws and left. Yeah, was this Was this a public gathering,
like, was this a party orsomething? Or was this just No?
(04:10):
The bear broke into this guy's house, found his mini fridge, and
then pounded three white claws just likethat. Huh, well, I mean
that's the bear. There's a lotof things with bears going on right now.
Do tell, do tell? Ihaven't so. Uh. There was
(04:30):
a bear who broke into a house. No no, He wandered through the
house, ended up at the refrigerator. It was a bottom freezer. He
pulled open the freezer, grabbed afrozen lasagna, went out the window and
took it away. There was ayou'd think that bear was meeting up with
the white claw bear a party.There was another one where there was actually
(04:58):
a party going on. The guywas grilling burgers. He saw the bear
coming up. He actually took thetime to turn the grill off, Thank
goodness. I think is weird,but in any case, because you don't
want to know her as a stealright, the bear came up, ate
all ten burgers off the grill andthen went into the cooler, drank diet
(05:21):
cokes until it was satisfied, andwandered off. Right. Well, I'm
sure, it burns tongue, soit had to crush a couple of cold
drunk So, yeah, these bears. I mean, what are we going
to do about these bears? Well, I mean it's funny. They had
a movie that came out last yearcalled Cocaine Bear. But I saw that.
(05:42):
It's pretty rough. It's hard toget you just watch the trailer.
It's the funniest parts of the movie. Yeah, and so you need to
know. Tell Eli thanks, right, Yeah, she's awesome. I want
to support her and everything, butnot in Rebel Moon. She didn't.
She didn't. She's in Rebel Newton. I haven't watched that yet. Well
that's more Zack Snyder. It's notlike Elizabeth Banks's. Yeah, they they
(06:06):
did anyway, but she did.She did the Charlie's Angels remake, she
did Cocaine Bear. Like, shehasn't had any successes as a director,
but I want her to. Iwant to su she has something to do
with Pitch Perfect. She had,uh, the third one I think she
directed. Correct, Maybe I didn'tknow there was the third one. Yeah,
(06:28):
I don't know. It was thesecond one. Yeah, right,
right with you like, wow,yeah, there's I think there's three,
and the third one I didn't likeas much. Okay, but okay,
and maybe she had something to dowith the second one as well. I
can't remember. But in any case, any case, Cocaine Bear, no,
well, no, no, Ifeel I feel we have a better
movie and White Claw Bear. Yeah, but we also have Lasagna Bear.
(06:50):
Right, these bears are just givingus a fodder to make wacky comedies.
Thet now Now, Cocaine Bear happenedin the woods though, right that was
in was in like Pacific Northwest?No, that was in Florida. Yeah,
was it in Florida? Also?Yeah, I really wondering after right,
the bears are getting together. I'mtelling you, so the actual I
(07:11):
don't know about the movie Cocaine Bear, but the actual Cocaine Bear a because
the drug running that comes over Florida, right, right, and didn't survive
the of course it didn't. Yeah, the devouring of all the cocaine.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just lookingthere. They're gathering, they're trying to
get their pool, the resources youget together for a keger. Yeah,
(07:33):
he was trying to get the whiteClaws. He had too much. He
was like, I'm gonna go.The guy brought his food. He brought
lasagna, right, who brings alasagna whole party? Right? Right?
And the other guy was like,I'm gonna bring some cocaine and then it
didn't work. No, bring lisanito a party, but who brings lasignia?
I mean, you gotta heat itup for a while. Lasagna is
(07:53):
awesome, but that's like a homecooked meal. That's not a party meal.
Yeah, that's a that's the nextday. It's better in the next
day, after it's been in thefridge and then warm back up. I'm
sure listeners are going to point outwhy lasagna is a great party thing.
Honestly, I don't. I neverliked lasagna really, yeah, I never
did. I like it growing up, But then when I realized that there
(08:16):
were these things called red pepper flakes. Yeah, and if you take a
big piece of lasagna and you putit in a bun, then it's a
lasagna burger. It's even better.Dude. Yeah, everything's better than a
burger or a tortilla. But thebear Shenanigans are not over. Okay,
there's another report where a bear.Was it a trail cam? Yeah,
(08:39):
it was a trail cam, andI guess it just decided to hang out
in front of the trail cam.So there was like five hundred and eighty
selfies that the selfie, Yeah,was it the white claw bear? Once
it guy, the buzz kicked in. He's out there taking selfies like I'm
going to be like an Instagram model. Were they were they? Like?
Was he like sitting down on alot of them or was it just him
(09:01):
just milling about doing bear stuff.Well, I didn't read the whole article
because I didn't think we were goingto talk about it today. But you
never know, you never know.We're at the bar, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I don't have my phoneeither. I can't even look it up.
But I'm wondering if they were likejust hanging out, you know,
(09:22):
rolling on the ground, scratching hisback. That's a lot of selfies for
five hundred and eighty, And Idon't know how often trailcim's like motion sensor,
so this bear wouldn't leave. Yeah, he was like hanging out.
It's probably motion sensor, but likeyou know the ring, it's it's motion
sensor for like a minute when itde texts and then it won't record again
(09:45):
for like thirty seconds, and thenit records for a minute. So this
bear was committed to getting all kindsof great selfies? Yeah, or possessed
you mean so the bear would bea content creator. This is the air
Coats content creator. It was anInstagram influencer. I like it. I
like it. I like it.Wonder if it has a only fans only
(10:05):
that's what Ryan says, I shouldbe only be Wow. Wow, there's
a different that. How far arewe going on this? The bears are
only bears showing their palls exactly andand foot shots and the hood on your
Faults show she's going tripod Wow.I don't think we're going to okay that
(10:31):
kind of show all the time?When am I not? You know?
But is it because bears are justare they becoming over an overpopulation and they're
just coming into your house or arethey just familiar with They're desensitized very much
their habitats being taken over by humansand they're like, we're taking over you.
(10:54):
I don't want to get an Idon't want to sound like a tree
hugger and everything, but the factsare that they were taking there and we're
taking their environment. So they're comingto where they can find food. Well,
and they're realizing too that we haveall the good stuff. Yeah,
yeah, we're just not nuts andberries and then twigs and things like that.
We have those zannies in white clauses, such large bricks of cocaine.
(11:16):
You're all about twigs and berries.Yeah. I think a movie about white
claw Bear would be be pretty good, amazing. Maybe he would be raving
for a bit until he got reallytired and passed out. And the movie's
only about like ten minutes. Yeah, it's a short, Yeah, white
claw Bear. A lot of movieswould be better as a short, like
(11:41):
yeah, true Story. You don'tneed to be a feature length in this
day and age. Just make acool fifteen twenty minutes. Dude. Any
movie in the day's age under threehours is a short, right, These
movies are wicked. Oppenheimer is whatOppenheimer open? Yeah? I didn't see
(12:01):
it, but it's over three hours. Did you did you watch any level?
Yeah? Yeah, I haven't seenanything. If you like math,
physics or nuclear explosions, it's foryou well, and or Chillian Murphy because
he's amazing and boobs others. Ohall right, I'm in Okay, that's
(12:24):
interesting. It Actually it's on voD Now I think it's like twenty dollars.
Yeah, we just watched a reallyfun one Connyx The Fortuitous and The
Towsman of Souls. Wow, that'sa mouthful, but it's a cop this
guy. It was it Andrew Bousman. But it's very uh, dorky,
(12:46):
wacky, weird and a boatload offun. It sounds very serious by the
title. Yeah, you can telldocumentary almost not at all if you're into
like weird funny. Uh, it'scalled I'm Onyx The Fortuitous and The Talisman
Assaults Onyx The Fortuitous. What's iton Amazon? I thought it was a
(13:15):
blast. Yeah, I thought itwas very well. Then I was really
into the it's a it's a veryindie movie, so a little budget but
awesome, great comedy, fun premise. Yeah, we just watched that.
That Shin, or at least partof it Shin Ultraman. That was exciting.
If anybody who's an Ultraman fan orGodzilla fan, old school, Shin
(13:35):
Ultraman fills that quota that has beenmissing in her life for so long.
Yeah, very good stuff. AndI haven't seen the new Godzilla movies.
I need to see Godzilla minus stuffabout them. Yeah, and then the
other one that No, the minusone, I've heard good stuff. Yes,
not the other one. Well,they just have on Apple TV Monarch
(13:56):
part of that whole Godzilla. Yeah. Yeah, that was my main reason
for wanting to get Apple TV emailis for that show and ted Lasso doesn't
the whole draw for me. Iheard it's very good. Oh it's so
good. Yeah, what do youmean it doesn't do it? You haven't
watched it. I don't know anythingabout it. If you watch it,
you might realize like it is forme. It's a good show. Yeah,
it's well written, well acted.I highly recommend. Okay, I'll
(14:20):
take your word for it on thatone. So here's another thing I wanted
to bring up because you were thethree other people that would probably get a
kick out of this. I'm sureeverybody gets a kick out of this.
This is went down this year atthe New York City Comic Con. Hold
on, what's Dave looking at ShinUltraman? Well, no, I'm looking
(14:41):
up Shin Ultraman. But we hada conversation before we started recording this of
what does Shin mean? Yeah,I'm trying to find what Shin means,
uh, oh, I watch youpay attention. Wow, wow, I
am paying attention to my phone.Uh. This happened this year at the
(15:03):
New York City Comic Con, whichwe wanted to be our honeymoon years and
years ago we got married. Wewanted to go to the New York City
Comic co on for our honeymoon.But the tickets were sold out. Yeah,
it was sold out like same day. Is that the same thing where
like like a concert goes on andit's sold out in like five minutes or
something like that. Yeah, itwas. It was ridiculous, And I
was like, well, I guess, I guess we're not going to that.
(15:24):
Yeah. And even if you did, there'd be so many people.
I think the Philly Comic Con wasfull, Oh my gosh. And that
was that was packed that year.Yeah. Yeah, here's the headline.
Someone just took a dump on theshow floor of the New York Comic Con.
There you go. It's not surprising, But how does that happen?
(15:46):
There's too many people, like somebodyit was right in the main pathway near
the autograph area. Someone someone maybethey had a dress or something on that
can just like a little little pop. It out, just pop it out,
boom, right in the floor.Done. Done. You're gonna take
about three minutes to take cop asquat, drop a load, and up
(16:07):
in your own You don't get threeminutes. You get like we were in
when we were at UH doing thelive show. It was packed. You
don't get three minutes. You don'tget ten seconds to be in one spot
in the main pathway. I don'tknow, well, I've seen, you
know, occasionally someone someone in likethe Instagram feeds will be a video of
(16:30):
somebody taking a dump in a circlek or something like that. I guess
it happens pretty quick. I guessit depends on your ready can really really
quick. Yeah yeah, I meanI like to read like a read when
I'm on the toilet, so Iwould be instantly caught if i was trying
to squat and take it down,because I'd be there reading a book.
Right. Some people don't need,you know, they don't well at the
(16:52):
time. Imagine you're in costume andyou've got your your your in cosplay,
and you have your phone in yourhand, and at some time you're just
like, oh, hold on fora second, and you squat. You
just squat down in the aisle atcomic Con when you're looking at your phone,
just for just for like thirty seconds, you squat in the middle of
a main aisle, people being like, what the hell are gonna run over
(17:12):
you? Yeah, yeah, that'strue on the side of a main aisle,
but not in the middle of amain aisle. People are gonna walk
all over you. That's true.That's true in what in the dropping here's
the thing I found another article.It's not like a one off. This
happens frequently, apparently in Disney World. In the you know they got these
(17:36):
crazy lines. People are pooping inthe line. In the line, well,
the line's forever. That can't likeagain, you've got people right behind
you. Thing, dude, Iagree with No. I think parents are
letting maybe their kid cop a squat. No, I'm thinking these are pranksters
who are being ahead of time ina container. You're doing it for the
(18:00):
gram dumping it or TikTok TikTok TikTokpooping, pooping that to comic con pooping
the Disney World. Yeah, it'sit's great. If you're doing that,
freaking stop it. Yeah, yougotta cook it like a tupperware container or
something or a zip block bag anda type of work. The logistics of
that, to me are a littlelike cool man committed here TikTok. If
(18:22):
you're like packing in poop, it'seasier to join it live. I guess
if you if you if you tooka dump in a in like a like
a like a some kind of acontainer like a sandwich container, you know
it took a dump in that,and then you put that in a ziplock
bag. And then as you walkingaround con because you have a little cooler
with you with your lunch, God, what else would you put in that
cooler? Oh god, that'd beterrible. Then you gotta just whip it
(18:47):
out. That's a problem. Thelogistics of taking a ready already dumped dump
to comic Con to unleash it andalready dump dump, well, no,
you I never we would hear thosealready ejected torpedo. You'd have to do
it in in the con, liketo work one out there we go to
(19:11):
the bathroom. Yeah, but ifyou're walking around you and you do it,
the hard part, like what youwere saying about the con is the
traffic, all right, But thenalso sometimes you don't fully know what's gonna
happen when you sit down, andsometimes it's it's a gamble. You know,
there's a whole lot of information notbeing said. I see what you're
saying, Like, it depends ifyou had went to Taco night, Yeah
(19:32):
before you could have. You couldhave had a nachos with extra hopenos.
And it's not just a nice little, happy little dump. That would definitely
ruin your honeymoon. He went toit's spreading quickly the comic con and then
you stepped in human feces in thedoor. Yeah, that would definitely put
be a busco. Well, andyeah, depending on what they ate.
I mean right, imagine if notonly did you see somebody in cosplay squatting
(19:56):
down in the middle of the aislewith their phone, so already suspect and
they're gonna get trampled, but inthe middle of everything they're like, You're
like, that's well okay. Also, I was just thinking about there are
(20:18):
service animals that some people bring aswell, so it could be it was
human pieces. Well, unless itwas like a doverman. It could have
been a pretty big dog, agreat Dane. Dobermans aren't that big.
Great Danes. Yes, Great Dane. I mean, your dog takes giant
turds, My dog small seventy pounds. Where does he take them? He's
(20:47):
got a store in the corner overthere, saving him up, hides him
under his bed. I know that. You know what, Maybe it was
a service dog, but it reallydoesn't sur if somebody maybe doing a TikTok
Frank dropped human poop, yeah,or for a human just like or of
(21:07):
a kid, just like poop,Like, I'm not cleaning that up.
Get out of here, run running. When my brother was coming back from
Peru, no where was he inSouth America somewhere? Yeah, it was
down there somewhere, he found thisdog that was like astray and he ended
(21:30):
up bringing it back with him.And when they were in the airport they
were waiting for like a bagel orsomething like that, the dog took a
dump, and so he just turnedaround, took the dog with him,
and they ran away without cleaning itup. But that's rough, that's wrong.
(21:52):
Especially I wanted to make a documentaryyeah about that. So it's like,
there's no way I can get ona plane fly down there and started
filming this crazy dog he rescued fromthe Jungles or wherever he was doing a
volunteer thing. Yeah, but itwas a hilarious story because he couldn't get
airline. He couldn't get flights.He was sleeping in the airport. The
(22:15):
dog was pooping the airport. Thenyour parents drove to like South Carolina.
He somehow got up to there tomeet him. Yeah, they wouldn't let
the dog. And then this doghad like disease and those with parasites.
No, this was like in January, so they couldn't go much north then,
like I think it was North Carolinathey were at. Yeah, they
(22:37):
couldn't go past that because it wastoo cold for the dog to be in.
Oh right, Okay, so myparents had to drive down from New
York to North Carolina, pick themup, and then drive all the way
back like like no, no,take the dog back to where you got
it, right, ye, becauseit was wintertime too. Was like,
(23:00):
that's not the call you expect fromyour son who's traveling home. I found
a dog in the forest in Peru. Uh Pedro? Do they the dog?
Nos? The your dad Here,here's the thing. Your brother never
really took care of the dog whenthey got home. Dad's dog and your
(23:22):
dad did load. He left takingwalks with the dog, but your brother
did know. Yeah, when hecame home, he left the dog with
my parents because he had to goback to school. Jeez. So then
my my parents pretty much adopted him. I thought you were to go a
very different way when you said Iwant to make a movie about that,
a documentary about people pooping and do. That's where I thought you were going
(23:45):
to go with this. You hada passion for what your brother was up
to. It was part of oneof his classes, history classes or science.
Yeah, I can't remember. Butto be in the jungle and have
a stray dog, uh you know, I don't dog living off to Lantas,
just coming up to you, justtaking maybe ticks and lice and gosh
(24:06):
knows what. And your brother's like, oh, I will take you home
with me. I know. Yeah, he had to go do a whole
lot of stuff to bring this dog. Sure customs isn't Yeah, they were
able to find like a vet whereverthey were at that could backdate. Oh
wow, geez. Yeah, soI don't even know. That's how you
(24:29):
get through customs, I know,yeah, pretty much. And then yeah,
he got up to North Carolina andthat was a dog. But he
was he was in college, sohe was not old enough to rent a
car. Uh huh yeah, somy parents that's why my mom had to
go down and pick him up becausehe couldn't take a bus, not with
(24:55):
a dog, not with a dog, with a Peruvian dog. Yeah,
I don't think it was, butit was like one of those countries something
like that. I can't remember.That's getting closer. Yeah, I can't
remember. It'll come to us wheni'm done we're done recording. Yeah,
but fascinating story. And we weresitting on the couch at the place in
(25:15):
e Town and just hearing everything thatwas going on because your brother was like
live texting you. It was eitheryeah, one of them was this is
like this is a documentary, Likethis is this is how I get into
sun Dance, right, this isdog pooping in the concourse. This is
it I get a sundance. Butyou being with them, you're an accomplice.
(25:37):
And right now I'm an objective observer. I'm just phil you're press.
Really Yeah, whatever he's doing,I'm just documenting it. So if you
need the footage to arrest him,I got it. I don't protect sources.
Oh we're not journalists, right yeah. Wow, Holy moly, that'd
(26:03):
be wild. Yeah. So moralof story, don't if you find a
dog in the forest, no no, no, no, no, no
country for a jungle, a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle. Just
leave them. Yeah. I thinkwe've learned a couple of lessons Dave recapping
force. If you have anything ofvalue, food or alcohol, wise keep
(26:27):
them away from Bears. If youfall in love with an animal in the
jungle of South America, leave it, b Yeah, and keep all your
good stuff in the backpack. Ifyou're going to make bad decision, people
are roaching through your pocket, don'tdump it on your parents. Yeah,
and the only fans only Bears dotcom slash Nasquatch. All right, until
(26:53):
next time. You can always findus here at the Tipsy Krypton. Come
have a drink with us, Comehave a drink. And this really works
too. If it's not weird,it's not worth checking out, because all
that ship was weird. Until nexttime,
Hey, friends, welcome to theTipsy Crypton. We are the paranold Punters.
I'm Mark, I'm Militia, I'mI'm Dave. Welcome to our bar.
Well, we're gonna talk about whateverthe heck we feel like. Is
belting okay on this one? Yepright, So grab us seat, join us
at the bar, and we're gonnajump into some all kinds of weird topics
(00:46):
or whatever pops into our head.Not constantly. Well, no, I
can't do it constantly. I'm notthat kind of a gifted person. You're
gifted enough. Wow. Wow,Well, thirty four seconds in the show
is already one. All right.Sorry, wanted like I read this article
and I wanted to bring it upbecause I thought you guys might enjoy it.
(01:08):
But this went down in Florida.Again Florida, Florida. This would
be shot, but this happened.Uh, let's see was it? September
Yah September fifth to twenty twenty three, a three legged bear, known locally
as Tripod was caught on ca Myhigh school man was caught on camera breaking
(01:34):
into home in Lake Mary, Florida, over the weekend and helping itself to
some snacks and adult beverages. Sure, the thirsty uninvited guest was caught on
security camera breaking into their fridge andcrushing some white claws. How do we
know it was uninvated or not invated? Well, it's a bear, yeah,
(01:55):
But would you not say that it'spossible that somebody was, like,
it would be an awesome It wouldbe awesome right now if a bear showed
up. No, a bear,It would not be awesome if bear walked
in here right now in Florida.You don't think that anybody in Florida would
be like, be awesome if abear showed up right now in Florida,
(02:16):
that they would probably set up ascenario knowing that there are wildlife loose that
if something like that happened, theywould be able to catch it on film,
make a story about it, makea bite about it, something like
that. So he uh so thebear freaking bear? Old? Yeah,
it got in the minifras in acrust, Three white claws, mango and
(02:39):
strawberry. Which one did he picka second of? It doesn't say,
oh no, well, out ofthe three it took, it says his
favorite was, Oh, it wasmango and strawberry. Not just so it
must have had a couple, musthave at least two out of three where
mango, which I'd never had thatflavor? Oh wait, is it mango
(03:00):
and strawberry or mango and strawberry?What? No, mango is a flavor
of white claws. Bear's favorite flavoris mangoing strawberry. Okay, I didn't
know they made that. I don'tknow they did. I didn't write the
news article. You're taking ownership ofit right now. I gotta tell you.
So the bear likes mangoing strawberry whiteclaws. Just to make sure that's
(03:23):
clear. Uh, And then itleft, Yeah, that's one. Does
I wonder what it would like raidthe fridge to eat all the food in
the fridge. No, it camein and uh just chilled out, crushed
a couple of white claws, andthen I don't know, it had some
snacks too, right, that's thesnacks. What once you start crushing white
clawss. I wonder if it wasreally a bear drinking sauntery. No,
(03:46):
they have it on the ring camera. Oh really not a sponsor. Okay,
helpful tool, but not a sponsor. So he had some snacks and
some white claws and left. Yeah, was this Was this a public gathering,
like, was this a party orsomething? Or was this just No?
(04:10):
The bear broke into this guy's house, found his mini fridge, and
then pounded three white claws just likethat. Huh, well, I mean
that's the bear. There's a lotof things with bears going on right now.
Do tell, do tell? Ihaven't so. Uh. There was
(04:30):
a bear who broke into a house. No no, He wandered through the
house, ended up at the refrigerator. It was a bottom freezer. He
pulled open the freezer, grabbed afrozen lasagna, went out the window and
took it away. There was ayou'd think that bear was meeting up with
the white claw bear a party.There was another one where there was actually
(04:58):
a party going on. The guywas grilling burgers. He saw the bear
coming up. He actually took thetime to turn the grill off, Thank
goodness. I think is weird,but in any case, because you don't
want to know her as a stealright, the bear came up, ate
all ten burgers off the grill andthen went into the cooler, drank diet
(05:21):
cokes until it was satisfied, andwandered off. Right. Well, I'm
sure, it burns tongue, soit had to crush a couple of cold
drunk So, yeah, these bears. I mean, what are we going
to do about these bears? Well, I mean it's funny. They had
a movie that came out last yearcalled Cocaine Bear. But I saw that.
(05:42):
It's pretty rough. It's hard toget you just watch the trailer.
It's the funniest parts of the movie. Yeah, and so you need to
know. Tell Eli thanks, right, Yeah, she's awesome. I want
to support her and everything, butnot in Rebel Moon. She didn't.
She didn't. She's in Rebel Newton. I haven't watched that yet. Well
that's more Zack Snyder. It's notlike Elizabeth Banks's. Yeah, they they
(06:06):
did anyway, but she did.She did the Charlie's Angels remake, she
did Cocaine Bear. Like, shehasn't had any successes as a director,
but I want her to. Iwant to su she has something to do
with Pitch Perfect. She had,uh, the third one I think she
directed. Correct, Maybe I didn'tknow there was the third one. Yeah,
(06:28):
I don't know. It was thesecond one. Yeah, right,
right with you like, wow,yeah, there's I think there's three,
and the third one I didn't likeas much. Okay, but okay,
and maybe she had something to dowith the second one as well. I
can't remember. But in any case, any case, Cocaine Bear, no,
well, no, no, Ifeel I feel we have a better
movie and White Claw Bear. Yeah, but we also have Lasagna Bear.
(06:50):
Right, these bears are just givingus a fodder to make wacky comedies.
Thet now Now, Cocaine Bear happenedin the woods though, right that was
in was in like Pacific Northwest?No, that was in Florida. Yeah,
was it in Florida? Also?Yeah, I really wondering after right,
the bears are getting together. I'mtelling you, so the actual I
(07:11):
don't know about the movie Cocaine Bear, but the actual Cocaine Bear a because
the drug running that comes over Florida, right, right, and didn't survive
the of course it didn't. Yeah, the devouring of all the cocaine.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just lookingthere. They're gathering, they're trying to
get their pool, the resources youget together for a keger. Yeah,
(07:33):
he was trying to get the whiteClaws. He had too much. He
was like, I'm gonna go.The guy brought his food. He brought
lasagna, right, who brings alasagna whole party? Right? Right?
And the other guy was like,I'm gonna bring some cocaine and then it
didn't work. No, bring lisanito a party, but who brings lasignia?
I mean, you gotta heat itup for a while. Lasagna is
(07:53):
awesome, but that's like a homecooked meal. That's not a party meal.
Yeah, that's a that's the nextday. It's better in the next
day, after it's been in thefridge and then warm back up. I'm
sure listeners are going to point outwhy lasagna is a great party thing.
Honestly, I don't. I neverliked lasagna really, yeah, I never
did. I like it growing up, But then when I realized that there
(08:16):
were these things called red pepper flakes. Yeah, and if you take a
big piece of lasagna and you putit in a bun, then it's a
lasagna burger. It's even better.Dude. Yeah, everything's better than a
burger or a tortilla. But thebear Shenanigans are not over. Okay,
there's another report where a bear.Was it a trail cam? Yeah,
(08:39):
it was a trail cam, andI guess it just decided to hang out
in front of the trail cam.So there was like five hundred and eighty
selfies that the selfie, Yeah,was it the white claw bear? Once
it guy, the buzz kicked in. He's out there taking selfies like I'm
going to be like an Instagram model. Were they were they? Like?
Was he like sitting down on alot of them or was it just him
(09:01):
just milling about doing bear stuff.Well, I didn't read the whole article
because I didn't think we were goingto talk about it today. But you
never know, you never know.We're at the bar, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I don't have my phoneeither. I can't even look it up.
But I'm wondering if they were likejust hanging out, you know,
(09:22):
rolling on the ground, scratching hisback. That's a lot of selfies for
five hundred and eighty, And Idon't know how often trailcim's like motion sensor,
so this bear wouldn't leave. Yeah, he was like hanging out.
It's probably motion sensor, but likeyou know the ring, it's it's motion
sensor for like a minute when itde texts and then it won't record again
(09:45):
for like thirty seconds, and thenit records for a minute. So this
bear was committed to getting all kindsof great selfies? Yeah, or possessed
you mean so the bear would bea content creator. This is the air
Coats content creator. It was anInstagram influencer. I like it. I
like it. I like it.Wonder if it has a only fans only
(10:05):
that's what Ryan says, I shouldbe only be Wow. Wow, there's
a different that. How far arewe going on this? The bears are
only bears showing their palls exactly andand foot shots and the hood on your
Faults show she's going tripod Wow.I don't think we're going to okay that
(10:31):
kind of show all the time?When am I not? You know?
But is it because bears are justare they becoming over an overpopulation and they're
just coming into your house or arethey just familiar with They're desensitized very much
their habitats being taken over by humansand they're like, we're taking over you.
(10:54):
I don't want to get an Idon't want to sound like a tree
hugger and everything, but the factsare that they were taking there and we're
taking their environment. So they're comingto where they can find food. Well,
and they're realizing too that we haveall the good stuff. Yeah,
yeah, we're just not nuts andberries and then twigs and things like that.
We have those zannies in white clauses, such large bricks of cocaine.
(11:16):
You're all about twigs and berries.Yeah. I think a movie about white
claw Bear would be be pretty good, amazing. Maybe he would be raving
for a bit until he got reallytired and passed out. And the movie's
only about like ten minutes. Yeah, it's a short, Yeah, white
claw Bear. A lot of movieswould be better as a short, like
(11:41):
yeah, true Story. You don'tneed to be a feature length in this
day and age. Just make acool fifteen twenty minutes. Dude. Any
movie in the day's age under threehours is a short, right, These
movies are wicked. Oppenheimer is whatOppenheimer open? Yeah? I didn't see
(12:01):
it, but it's over three hours. Did you did you watch any level?
Yeah? Yeah, I haven't seenanything. If you like math,
physics or nuclear explosions, it's foryou well, and or Chillian Murphy because
he's amazing and boobs others. Ohall right, I'm in Okay, that's
(12:24):
interesting. It Actually it's on voD Now I think it's like twenty dollars.
Yeah, we just watched a reallyfun one Connyx The Fortuitous and The
Towsman of Souls. Wow, that'sa mouthful, but it's a cop this
guy. It was it Andrew Bousman. But it's very uh, dorky,
(12:46):
wacky, weird and a boatload offun. It sounds very serious by the
title. Yeah, you can telldocumentary almost not at all if you're into
like weird funny. Uh, it'scalled I'm Onyx The Fortuitous and The Talisman
Assaults Onyx The Fortuitous. What's iton Amazon? I thought it was a
(13:15):
blast. Yeah, I thought itwas very well. Then I was really
into the it's a it's a veryindie movie, so a little budget but
awesome, great comedy, fun premise. Yeah, we just watched that.
That Shin, or at least partof it Shin Ultraman. That was exciting.
If anybody who's an Ultraman fan orGodzilla fan, old school, Shin
(13:35):
Ultraman fills that quota that has beenmissing in her life for so long.
Yeah, very good stuff. AndI haven't seen the new Godzilla movies.
I need to see Godzilla minus stuffabout them. Yeah, and then the
other one that No, the minusone, I've heard good stuff. Yes,
not the other one. Well,they just have on Apple TV Monarch
(13:56):
part of that whole Godzilla. Yeah. Yeah, that was my main reason
for wanting to get Apple TV emailis for that show and ted Lasso doesn't
the whole draw for me. Iheard it's very good. Oh it's so
good. Yeah, what do youmean it doesn't do it? You haven't
watched it. I don't know anythingabout it. If you watch it,
you might realize like it is forme. It's a good show. Yeah,
it's well written, well acted.I highly recommend. Okay, I'll
(14:20):
take your word for it on thatone. So here's another thing I wanted
to bring up because you were thethree other people that would probably get a
kick out of this. I'm sureeverybody gets a kick out of this.
This is went down this year atthe New York City Comic Con. Hold
on, what's Dave looking at ShinUltraman? Well, no, I'm looking
(14:41):
up Shin Ultraman. But we hada conversation before we started recording this of
what does Shin mean? Yeah,I'm trying to find what Shin means,
uh, oh, I watch youpay attention. Wow, wow, I
am paying attention to my phone.Uh. This happened this year at the
(15:03):
New York City Comic Con, whichwe wanted to be our honeymoon years and
years ago we got married. Wewanted to go to the New York City
Comic co on for our honeymoon.But the tickets were sold out. Yeah,
it was sold out like same day. Is that the same thing where
like like a concert goes on andit's sold out in like five minutes or
something like that. Yeah, itwas. It was ridiculous, And I
was like, well, I guess, I guess we're not going to that.
(15:24):
Yeah. And even if you did, there'd be so many people.
I think the Philly Comic Con wasfull, Oh my gosh. And that
was that was packed that year.Yeah. Yeah, here's the headline.
Someone just took a dump on theshow floor of the New York Comic Con.
There you go. It's not surprising, But how does that happen?
(15:46):
There's too many people, like somebodyit was right in the main pathway near
the autograph area. Someone someone maybethey had a dress or something on that
can just like a little little pop. It out, just pop it out,
boom, right in the floor.Done. Done. You're gonna take
about three minutes to take cop asquat, drop a load, and up
(16:07):
in your own You don't get threeminutes. You get like we were in
when we were at UH doing thelive show. It was packed. You
don't get three minutes. You don'tget ten seconds to be in one spot
in the main pathway. I don'tknow, well, I've seen, you
know, occasionally someone someone in likethe Instagram feeds will be a video of
(16:30):
somebody taking a dump in a circlek or something like that. I guess
it happens pretty quick. I guessit depends on your ready can really really
quick. Yeah yeah, I meanI like to read like a read when
I'm on the toilet, so Iwould be instantly caught if i was trying
to squat and take it down,because I'd be there reading a book.
Right. Some people don't need,you know, they don't well at the
(16:52):
time. Imagine you're in costume andyou've got your your your in cosplay,
and you have your phone in yourhand, and at some time you're just
like, oh, hold on fora second, and you squat. You
just squat down in the aisle atcomic Con when you're looking at your phone,
just for just for like thirty seconds, you squat in the middle of
a main aisle, people being like, what the hell are gonna run over
(17:12):
you? Yeah, yeah, that'strue on the side of a main aisle,
but not in the middle of amain aisle. People are gonna walk
all over you. That's true.That's true in what in the dropping here's
the thing I found another article.It's not like a one off. This
happens frequently, apparently in Disney World. In the you know they got these
(17:36):
crazy lines. People are pooping inthe line. In the line, well,
the line's forever. That can't likeagain, you've got people right behind
you. Thing, dude, Iagree with No. I think parents are
letting maybe their kid cop a squat. No, I'm thinking these are pranksters
who are being ahead of time ina container. You're doing it for the
(18:00):
gram dumping it or TikTok TikTok TikTokpooping, pooping that to comic con pooping
the Disney World. Yeah, it'sit's great. If you're doing that,
freaking stop it. Yeah, yougotta cook it like a tupperware container or
something or a zip block bag anda type of work. The logistics of
that, to me are a littlelike cool man committed here TikTok. If
(18:22):
you're like packing in poop, it'seasier to join it live. I guess
if you if you if you tooka dump in a in like a like
a like a some kind of acontainer like a sandwich container, you know
it took a dump in that,and then you put that in a ziplock
bag. And then as you walkingaround con because you have a little cooler
with you with your lunch, God, what else would you put in that
cooler? Oh god, that'd beterrible. Then you gotta just whip it
(18:47):
out. That's a problem. Thelogistics of taking a ready already dumped dump
to comic Con to unleash it andalready dump dump, well, no,
you I never we would hear thosealready ejected torpedo. You'd have to do
it in in the con, liketo work one out there we go to
(19:11):
the bathroom. Yeah, but ifyou're walking around you and you do it,
the hard part, like what youwere saying about the con is the
traffic, all right, But thenalso sometimes you don't fully know what's gonna
happen when you sit down, andsometimes it's it's a gamble. You know,
there's a whole lot of information notbeing said. I see what you're
saying, Like, it depends ifyou had went to Taco night, Yeah
(19:32):
before you could have. You couldhave had a nachos with extra hopenos.
And it's not just a nice little, happy little dump. That would definitely
ruin your honeymoon. He went toit's spreading quickly the comic con and then
you stepped in human feces in thedoor. Yeah, that would definitely put
be a busco. Well, andyeah, depending on what they ate.
I mean right, imagine if notonly did you see somebody in cosplay squatting
(19:56):
down in the middle of the aislewith their phone, so already suspect and
they're gonna get trampled, but inthe middle of everything they're like, You're
like, that's well okay. Also, I was just thinking about there are
(20:18):
service animals that some people bring aswell, so it could be it was
human pieces. Well, unless itwas like a doverman. It could have
been a pretty big dog, agreat Dane. Dobermans aren't that big.
Great Danes. Yes, Great Dane. I mean, your dog takes giant
turds, My dog small seventy pounds. Where does he take them? He's
(20:47):
got a store in the corner overthere, saving him up, hides him
under his bed. I know that. You know what, Maybe it was
a service dog, but it reallydoesn't sur if somebody maybe doing a TikTok
Frank dropped human poop, yeah,or for a human just like or of
(21:07):
a kid, just like poop,Like, I'm not cleaning that up.
Get out of here, run running. When my brother was coming back from
Peru, no where was he inSouth America somewhere? Yeah, it was
down there somewhere, he found thisdog that was like astray and he ended
(21:30):
up bringing it back with him.And when they were in the airport they
were waiting for like a bagel orsomething like that, the dog took a
dump, and so he just turnedaround, took the dog with him,
and they ran away without cleaning itup. But that's rough, that's wrong.
(21:52):
Especially I wanted to make a documentaryyeah about that. So it's like,
there's no way I can get ona plane fly down there and started
filming this crazy dog he rescued fromthe Jungles or wherever he was doing a
volunteer thing. Yeah, but itwas a hilarious story because he couldn't get
airline. He couldn't get flights.He was sleeping in the airport. The
(22:15):
dog was pooping the airport. Thenyour parents drove to like South Carolina.
He somehow got up to there tomeet him. Yeah, they wouldn't let
the dog. And then this doghad like disease and those with parasites.
No, this was like in January, so they couldn't go much north then,
like I think it was North Carolinathey were at. Yeah, they
(22:37):
couldn't go past that because it wastoo cold for the dog to be in.
Oh right, Okay, so myparents had to drive down from New
York to North Carolina, pick themup, and then drive all the way
back like like no, no,take the dog back to where you got
it, right, ye, becauseit was wintertime too. Was like,
(23:00):
that's not the call you expect fromyour son who's traveling home. I found
a dog in the forest in Peru. Uh Pedro? Do they the dog?
Nos? The your dad Here,here's the thing. Your brother never
really took care of the dog whenthey got home. Dad's dog and your
(23:22):
dad did load. He left takingwalks with the dog, but your brother
did know. Yeah, when hecame home, he left the dog with
my parents because he had to goback to school. Jeez. So then
my my parents pretty much adopted him. I thought you were to go a
very different way when you said Iwant to make a movie about that,
a documentary about people pooping and do. That's where I thought you were going
(23:45):
to go with this. You hada passion for what your brother was up
to. It was part of oneof his classes, history classes or science.
Yeah, I can't remember. Butto be in the jungle and have
a stray dog, uh you know, I don't dog living off to Lantas,
just coming up to you, justtaking maybe ticks and lice and gosh
(24:06):
knows what. And your brother's like, oh, I will take you home
with me. I know. Yeah, he had to go do a whole
lot of stuff to bring this dog. Sure customs isn't Yeah, they were
able to find like a vet whereverthey were at that could backdate. Oh
wow, geez. Yeah, soI don't even know. That's how you
(24:29):
get through customs, I know,yeah, pretty much. And then yeah,
he got up to North Carolina andthat was a dog. But he
was he was in college, sohe was not old enough to rent a
car. Uh huh yeah, somy parents that's why my mom had to
go down and pick him up becausehe couldn't take a bus, not with
(24:55):
a dog, not with a dog, with a Peruvian dog. Yeah,
I don't think it was, butit was like one of those countries something
like that. I can't remember.That's getting closer. Yeah, I can't
remember. It'll come to us wheni'm done we're done recording. Yeah,
but fascinating story. And we weresitting on the couch at the place in
(25:15):
e Town and just hearing everything thatwas going on because your brother was like
live texting you. It was eitheryeah, one of them was this is
like this is a documentary, Likethis is this is how I get into
sun Dance, right, this isdog pooping in the concourse. This is
it I get a sundance. Butyou being with them, you're an accomplice.
(25:37):
And right now I'm an objective observer. I'm just phil you're press.
Really Yeah, whatever he's doing,I'm just documenting it. So if you
need the footage to arrest him,I got it. I don't protect sources.
Oh we're not journalists, right yeah. Wow, Holy moly, that'd
(26:03):
be wild. Yeah. So moralof story, don't if you find a
dog in the forest, no no, no, no, no, no
country for a jungle, a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle. Just
leave them. Yeah. I thinkwe've learned a couple of lessons Dave recapping
force. If you have anything ofvalue, food or alcohol, wise keep
(26:27):
them away from Bears. If youfall in love with an animal in the
jungle of South America, leave it, b Yeah, and keep all your
good stuff in the backpack. Ifyou're going to make bad decision, people
are roaching through your pocket, don'tdump it on your parents. Yeah,
and the only fans only Bears dotcom slash Nasquatch. All right, until
(26:53):
next time. You can always findus here at the Tipsy Krypton. Come
have a drink with us, Comehave a drink. And this really works
too. If it's not weird,it's not worth checking out, because all
that ship was weird. Until nexttime,
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