October 27, 2023 • 55 mins
Peter Panagore was recruited to TV as the fifth minister of America’s oldest religious broadcast. Peter’s two-minute spot aired for 15 years just before the morning weather on NewsCenterMaine on two NBC stations reaching 80k viewers a day. Previously, Peter served in New England as a United Church of Christ minister.
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Please note that all XZBN radio and/or television shows are Copyright © REL-MAR McConnell Meda Company, Niagara, Ontario, Canada – www.rel-mar.com. For more Episodes of this show and all shows produced, broadcasted and syndicated from REL-MAR McConell Media Company and The 'X' Zone Broadcast Network and the 'X' Zone TV Channell, visit www.xzbn.net. For programming, distribution, and syndication inquiries, email programming@xzbn.net.
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(00:02):
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(00:25):
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and advertisers hereby disclaim any liability forany claims, damages, or losses incurred
as a result of the information presentedin this program. Welcome to the Paranormal
(01:36):
Stakeout Radio TV show with Larry Lawson. As a former career law enforcement officer
and law enforcement educator. Larry focuseson the use of tried and true law
enforcement investigated techniques in conducting paranormal investigations. Despite his experience and training, Larry
also and keeps an open mind todiscussions on topics that deal with evidence that
(01:59):
are not quite as physical in nature. Paranormal stake At guests are professionals in
the field of the paranormal and parapsychology, conducting the investigations and research needed to
further the cause of paranormal study.Larry advocates an agenda of standardization of structure
and training in the field of paranormalinvestigation and research for the purpose of one
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day being able to produce the evidenceneeded to convince a jury of the existence
of the paranormal. Whether it isghosts, UFOs, unsolved mysteries, hauntings,
or cryptids, no topic is beyondthe investigative reach of Larry Lawson and
the Paranormal Stay At Radio TV Showteam. Now Here is the host of
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the Paranormal stake At Radio TV Show, Larry Lawson, and good evening everyone,
(03:05):
and welcome back to Paranormal Steakout.As always, I am your host
Larry Lawson coming to you from theheadquarters of the Florida Bureau of Paranormal Investigation
and Indian River Huntings in beautiful FueroBeach, Florida. If you'd like to
learn a little bit more about thosetwo organizations, check us out at Paranormal
FBI dot com or Indianriver Hauntings dotcom. You can also find out see
(03:25):
a little bit about what we doin the paranormal research realm on YouTube at
Indian River Hauntings two three four one. Also, you can check me out
right here on the Exton Readom broadcastnetwork by going to Paranormal Steakout dot org
and you can see all of mypast programs as well as everything else.
Now, if you'd like to sendme a question, thoughts, are comments
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that I would love to bring upat the beginning of each show, you
can email me at ghost Guy atParanormal Steakout dot org and send me your
thoughts and comments. Would love totalk about it. It seems like lately
every time we've started the broadcast there'ssomething crazy going on in the world.
We've just had another one up inup in the northeast part of our country,
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and I want to send our loveand thoughts to everybody, any everybody
that was affected by the tragic eventsin the Lewiston, Maine area. Strange
world we live in, and Ijust want to I want to see that
everybody keeps focused. We're here totalk about the paranormal and things that we're
trying to figure out and make senseof. But let's not lose sight of
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the things that are happening in ourworld today and pray for and think about
those that are in need. Soplease keep that in mind. With that,
tonight, I've got an interesting guest, mister, I'm sorry, Reverend
Peter Panagor. Reverend Panagor is comingto us to discuss his experiences with near
death experiences. He's he's crossed thatline and come back. Reverend PanAgora is
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recruited to TV as the fifth Ministerof America's oldest religious broadcast is two minutes
spot aired for fifteen years before theMorning Weather on New Center, Maine and
two NBC stations, reaching up toeighty thousand viewers a day. He previously
served in New England as a ministerfor the United Church of Christ. He's
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an author, he's a broadcaster,He's also an individual that, as I
said, experience some very very seriousevents. He was ice climbing in the
world famous lore Weeping Wall along theIce Fields Parkway in Alberta, Canada,
when he had a terrible accent andhe passed over. And we're going to
hear about that tonight, as wellas other thoughts that Peter's going to bring
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to us. So with that,i'd like to welcome Peter Panagor to the
show. Peter, thanks for joiningus. Thank you, Larry, thanks
for having me here today. It'san honor. Trust me, if you
could share with my audience a littlebit about who you are and how you
got to where you are today.If you can, I feel free to
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go right into what happened on thatice mountain. Well, that's really how
I ended up who I am today. I was a twenty year old had
just had my birthday in nineteen eightyand I didn't want to go home to
Boston. I wanted to go onan adventure for spring break. So I
found a fellow who had a tripplanned. And I had been a mountaineer
kind of person, wilderness camper,winter camper, national ski patrol, outdoor
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winter outdoor, summer, outdoor allthe time. So we went on an
eight day snow caving back country expeditionin Alberta, which is and we started
on the British part of me inBritish Columbia, we started on the Alberta
border. We skied in and thenwe skied out and at the end of
our trip we had a great trip. We did a one day ice climb
and I'd never been ice climbing before. I'd been a technical climber. I'd
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done a lot of not a lotof rock, but enough rock and on
many mountains. And Tim, mypartner, was a lead climber, certified
lead climber, and I made amistake to begin with. I talked him
into letting me climb with one axeand a hammer. And you probably have
seen ice climbers with these two axesclimbing up right. Well, I had
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one and in my other hand Ihad a hammer which is about this long,
which is a tool for ice climbing. It's used to put the ice
crews in and take the ice crewsout and ship the ice. And it
has a little bird beaks errated.You can plant it in the ice and
it can hold as well as theaxe hold. But the difference between them
are twofold. One is the swingof the of the axe is much larger
because it's got a longer handle.And also with the axe, you can
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plant it in the ice. Ithas a pick at the bottom, and
you can let go of the handleand dangle on this strap it's about a
third of the way up the shaft, and relax your arm and stay in
position safely just by opening your hand. But you can't do that with a
hammer, And with the hammer Ihad to grip it the whole time and
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use my forearm, which burned meout. Those two things slow our climb
down. We made us twice asslow as everybody else on the climb that
day, which meant that a couplehours before sunset we knew that we were
in a very precarious position. Itwas a five or six hundred foot climb,
and the climb itself went very well, just very slowly. And the
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further I got along, the moretired I became, the slower I became.
So by the time we actually reachedthe top of our climb, the
sunset temperature dropped about thirty degrees inhypothermia had an immediate onset, so that's
the beginning of it all. Andwe fought our way off the mountain.
We knew that we were going todie because we were isolated were the temperature
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had dropped, our hypothermia was advancingrapidly, and we figured we were going
to die where we were, orwe were going to die trying to get
off the mountain, and we decidedto do the latter part in the dark.
So the rest of your climbers hadgotten were way past you, and
they couldn't gone. They had gone, they'd descended and they'd left. I
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should set the scene. It wasright on the ice Fields Parkway. There's
a parking lot across the street.There's there's a day climb. Everybody knows
it's day climb, and everybody elsehad descended, they had left and driven
away. Oh I see. Yeah, we were by ourselves in the middle
of the wilderness. And even thoughwe were near the highway, this is
still wilderness. This is the middleof the Canadian Provincial Park Service. It's
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just Nowheresville. So you're coming offthe mountain. You're obviously you're almost almost
convinced yourself, not convinced, butyou've realized the fact that you may not
make it out. What happened then, well, we knew we weren't going
to make it out. I'd beenon the National SKIPI Troil since I was
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in high school, and we hadjust had a refresher course. I was
volunteer at Bridger Bowl and Bozeman,Montana. We just had a refresher course
on hypothermia and frostbike because we hadday on the mountain where it was fifty
below zero, and so we werepulling people off with frostbite and hypothermia throughout
the day. So I recognized immediatelyas we began our violent shivers. So
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as soon as the sun went down, all of the muscles in my body
independently of each other, so therewasn't one pulse, there was a million
independent pulses of all the muscles inmy body twitching by themselves on their own
rhythm, and a clattering jaw likeyou see in the cartoons. My whole
body's shaking. I can't hardly talk. And we realized that we were going
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to die where we were sitting,or we're going to die trying to get
off, and so that's what wedecided to do to fight our way down
so I could tell you the wholelong, high adventure of it. And
it was pretty high adventure. There'sa lot of we made some mistakes.
Cold steals your reason. The colderyour brain gets, the more confused a
person becomes. I became, andthe poorer choices that I made as a
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result, it stealed. It's stillmy coordination. It locked up my muscles
so made everything difficult to move,my eyeballs. I could feel my eyeballs
freezing. My tongue became difficult tomanipulate to speak. The cold was was
like fire inside of me and burningme all around. Esh. Every time
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I tell this story, part ofme goes back there and it's it was
the most traumatic experience. I've liveda very adventurous life, and it was
the most traumatic experience I have everhad. I kept my fear under control,
under mental, organized, forceful control, as did Tim. Neither of
us panicked, and we drove ourselvesthrough the night through well a traverse a
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repel, a traverse a repel,and as we went along it got colder
and colder, and we had wehad no food with us. We had
watered because there was ice we couldsuck on the ice, but we had
nothing to fuel ourselves because it wasa day hike. It was it was
a day climb, and nobody,none of the other teams brought up gear
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to spend the night. Nobody broughtup extra food. We brought up some
extra food, but we ate it. It was gone. So you're in
this precarious situation. You realize thatyou're you may not make it out.
What happened then and how did youget out? Well, we made it
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to the final repel, and thatwas about one hundred one hundred and fifty
feet up and it had iron pinspoxied into the mountain. Somebody drilled a
hole and poxied in a pin witha ring on it, and a carabiner
and a strap and another caribiner,so we were clipped into the mountain finally,
like sometime very late early morning hours. We had fought our way through
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the night and through the dark toget to this place, so we weren't
going to fall for the first time. And we were only one hundred and
fifty feet up and the car wasright across the street with a tent in
it, so we could if wecould get there, we could get ourselves
safe, but I had the rope. Tim was to my left and he
was clipped in on this situation.As I was standing on this ledge and
I had the rope, and Itook off my mittens, and I tied
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a knot of one end of therope to my harness so I wouldn't drop
it. I took the other endand I threw it out around the corner
of this cliff, kind of thisvertical cliff like that, into this crag,
and I pulled on the rope andthe first pull it got stuck somewhere
up in the dark around the corner. And the more I pulled it,
the tighter it became. So nowwe're in this situation where we couldn't go
up after the rope to pull itdown, and we couldn't descend, and
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that was it. There was nomovement from this position, and so we
stood there as I kept trying topull on the rope and hypothermia continued to
advance. I un zipped my coatat one point, which I knew better
than because I know better than todo that, but I was still feeling
hot because I felt all of theblood rush from my extremities into my core,
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and I had this I remember feelingor thinking, I need my heart
and my lungs and my gut.I don't really need my feet in my
knees. I can lose those tothe ice. And as long as this
part of me is warm, I'llbe okay. And that's what I was
thinking when I end zipped my coatand Tim yelled at me, zip up
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your coat. And I didn't doit because I didn't care. And then
I had this piece follow over mewhen I realized because I had enough mental
capacity, I recognized the symptoms,and I thought, oh, this is
it. I'm done for now,and this piece settled over me when I
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a piece of not desiring to stayalive. I accepted my position, I
accepted my fate, and I stoppedfighting, and I started thinking about my
parents, and I started thinking aboutGod, and I began to fall asleep,
and I would crash like a likeblackness would come, like in an
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instant, blackness would come, andI'd fall asleep and I'd crash down to
the rockets, stand back up andpull in the rope. And that happened
a bunch of times, and Istood back up this last time, and
I had tunnel vision, and thistunnel vision, which I'd never seen before,
began to collapse very rapidly into anarrow field. And as it collapsed
very rapidly, I thought, whatis this thing I'd never seen before?
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And I started looking around and itkind of followed my vision and got smaller
and smaller, and I was lookingright at the mountain as it got really
really, really really small, andI thought to myself, I must be
falling asleep again. On that note, as much as I want to hear,
I want to hear the rest ofthis. So we got to take
our first break. Folks, staywith us as we continue this compelling story
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and we hear what the results were. So stay with us. We'll be
back after these messages. And weare back. But I guess Reverend Peter
panic or I really hated to breakat that moment because we just got to
the point where that tunnel had closed, and I'll let you pick it up
from there. So as the tunnelclosed, I began to think that I
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was falling asleep. But when thetunnel went to black, I didn't fall
asleep. I became awake in anew way. All of my pain,
of my physical body that I'd beenstruggling with all night long vanished, and
I was confused about what was happening. I didn't understand where my pain had
went. I didn't understand what wasgoing on with me. I couldn't.
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I thought to myself, I musthave fallen. But why do I feel
like I'm standing? How can Ibe standing if I fell asleep? I
was very confused. But the spacein front of me where the mountain had
been expanded into a darkness that wasgigantic, and I was still in a
human form, but I had nopain. And as I floated there,
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they're looking in the direction of thisdarkness, way way far in the distance,
this tiny, tiny pinprick of lightappeared and rushed toward me, covering
this distance faster than the speed oflight, because this was a massive expanse.
And as it rushed toward me,it expanded and it communicated to me.
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I say telepathically, but that implieslanguage. There was no language.
It spoke to me inside myself withoutwords at all, and it communicated to
me in an instant that it wascoming to take me. And I replied
in my mind, I'm not goinganywhere. I don't know what's going on,
but I'm staying right where I am. And I sort of took all
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my willpower that I had used tofight my way across the mountain all night
and put it up as a shield, which amounted to onion paper. And
it poked right through this and graspedme and pulled me out, and it
pulled me out, and it wrappedme inside itself, and it was known
to me. It wasn't my firsttime I had encountered this angelic being.
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I had encountered it as a childthat had come when I was a kid,
so I knew it. But Ialso was resistant because I didn't want
to go anywhere because I didn't understandwhat was going on. But as soon
as it enveloped me, I wasinside of it. And it was gigantic.
It was ten thousand times bigger thanme, and I was in the
middle of it, and my physicalbody had been shed. I was in
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a what I discovered. Everything I'msaying right now is in metaphor, because
there is no thing that is thething that There's no molecules, there's no
electrons, no photons, no quarks. It is an entirely different structure of
existence. And so I described myselfas having the shape of a human being,
but I was made of light,and I was inside of this angelic
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being which was communicating to me massiveultimate intelligence, massive ultimate compassion, and
it was telling me you're coming withme and showing me itself. And what
I could see of it was thatit was I described as being super positioned.
So I knew that it was thisangelic being was there for me.
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But I could also tell that itwas directly connected to the infidet that I
couldn't perceive, but I knew wasvaster than this angelic being, which was
somehow connected to it, and itand reduced at the same time. There's
a lot of paradox in my story. And so I'm being swept back up,
back in the direction that I hadthat it had come, you know,
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up an escalator, up an elevator, up a tunnel, however you
want to talk about it, samejourney, same same railroad tracks. And
I was super positioned. I couldI had another location outside of this where
I was like an eye of theof God, and I could see myself
inside the angelic being, and asme being inside the angelic being would look
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over to see this eye of myself. I couldn't see it, so I
could see me, and I couldn'tsee me, and I was in two
places at the same time. Andso I swept up this direction. And
then this angelic being got to thekind of that edge space where the pinprick
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had first appeared, and it unfoldeditself. I popped out of it.
It opened up, and I wasinside of suddenly inside a much vaster,
much larger, universal size darkness,an empty darkness, but this darkness was
paradoxically filled with light. I couldsee in every direction, and I had
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become an orb of consciousness. Andthis is metaphor. I became a large
energy being, and my thinking andmy self and my sense there were one
thing. They weren't separate things asI thought. So I was, and
I remembered myself. I thought,Ah, this is who I am.
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I've always been this. Why Howdid I forget who I am? And
I was in comfort and contentment,and all of my pain had gone,
all of my suffering was gone,Every part of my human life was forgotten,
not needed. Question for you,did you feel as if you were
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part of something bigger? Something?Obviously beyond you. But did you feel
like you were part of a collective. Well, yes, my story is
rather long, and lots of thingshappened, and I tell it in a
chronology, but there was it's timelessness. It all happened at once. From
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my point of view, at onestage of my experience, I did experience
that where I became inflated and filledby the fullness of the light itself and
became I became in union with it. I was in oneness with this,
and I had no self left buta tiny little smidgeon, just a tiny
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little smidgeon, and one more dropof this union, I would have been
annihilated and folded back into this,this entity, this being, this light,
this love, beyond comprehension, unimaginablelove that I also experienced as I
was like a singular photon, andthere was a field of photons, and
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there was a septilian photons in thisfield, and it was the Divine itself.
It was them, the many,and they were one, and I
was part of it, and yetI was somehow outside of it and a
reduction of it, limited from theunlimited. So them and one, and
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yeah, I understand, So continueon your you're in this situation. What
happened next? And how how didyou come to how did you come out
of it? I asked to come, but I asked to come back.
Okay, So I'll give you thespeedy journey through what happened to me.
I went through. I saw myoriginal self. I was when I say
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I saw it, I experienced myoriginal self being called into being. I
saw and understood and experienced my everlastingnature. I saw my original self.
I saw my soul self that hadincarnations and I and I also went through
a hell to get there. Soas I was first seeing the divine being
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having it had appeared to me,I should back up and say it is
Suddenly the darkness that I was inhad a had an opening in it,
and through this opening, light pouredlike a waterfall, like a like the
tallest waterfall you can imagine, mostbeautiful, most seductive, most desirous,
and it was. It was madeup of a billion different electromagnetic wave colors
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and X rays and infrared and andelectromagnetic stuff colors we don't have here.
And it was simultaneously all of thesecolors and white light at the same time,
and most beautiful and I went toit and it with a thought,
and I moved toward it as itcame to me, and I touched it
with my being, and then itinfilled me. And as it filled me
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and surrounded me and I went intoit, it showed me my human self.
It showed me my just previous life. It was like a big,
huge burning eye looked inside the lifeI had just lived and had shown me
all of the dark corners of myselfwhere there was nothing hidden of me,
and as it it's and I wastrying to high these things. And as
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I tried to hide them, Icouldn't. And it kept saying to me,
I love you. I have alwaysloved you. I made you,
I was with you as you didall these things, and my love is
unending. I love you even thoughyou did these things. And then I
went through this chronology of all ofthe pain that I caused everyone in my
life from the inside of their bodies, feeling what I did to them from
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their point of view, simultaneous withmy point of view, which is all
the reasons why I was causing theirpain. And I was in comparison to
the unlimited purity of divine being,and I wasn't judged. This purity of
divine Being didn't judge me. Ijudged myself in comparison to this unlimited love.
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I saw my smallness, and asI saw my smallness, I also
heard and felt all of the lovethat was I was being awashed with.
I love you, I have alwaysloved you. I forgive you. Come
to me, Come to me,Come to me. And as I listened
to it, I turned toward it, and then I was infilled by it,
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and all of my suffering went away, and I entered into this state
of peace, bliss, adoration,understanding, knowledge, truth, and a
whole bunch of things happened. Almosttoward the end of the experience. Meanwhile,
the Divine Being is welcoming me home, Come home, Come home,
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Come home. And I said,what about my parents? I could still
see them. And I was shownthe universe, our universe, and I
was shown the origin of our originof our universe. There was this infinite
darkness that I couldn't see into,and out of this darkness poured our universe
just like spilled out as light.And then this light became overlaid with the
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matter of an energy of our universeas a darkness that hid the light inside
it. But I could see thelight in sight of everything there was on
all the people on earth as well. And I saw my parents' faces.
And I saw two sets of myparents' faces, Mom and Dad A,
Mom and Dad B. Mom andDad A. I saw their lives without
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me, and the great amount ofsuffering that they were going to incure and
incur. And then I saw theirlives in Mom and Dad be with me,
and I saw a lesser amount ofsuffering, and I saw their end
of life in both of these mayand mommy and B and Dad A and
B, and in the end oftheir lives they came to this place of
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unending love, and which I wasbecause all of the love that was woven
through all of our universe was poureddirectly at me. And I felt like
I was the most beloved that hadever been made. But I could see
that every human being, because Icould see all human beings livetime on earth
like a hologram, I could seethat every one of them was beloved as
(28:02):
well. And I could see thatno one was lost, that all things
are made out of the divine,and nothing is lost. Everything comes back
into it, into the love itself. And so I saw my parents suffering,
and they're less suffering, and Irecognized the length of my human life
was a snap of the fingers,and I thought to myself, well,
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maybe I can go back and alleviatesome of their suffering. And so I
asked. I said, I knowyou're welcoming me home. You're telling me
it's time to come home. ButI haven't gone all the way quite yet,
have I? No, The answercame back, and I said,
well, can I go back andbe with my parents and alleviate their suffering?
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And the voice said yes. AndI said, well can I come
back here to this paradise and thevoice said yes. I said, well,
I choose to live my life,and the voice said, you won't
live your life and sent me out. And as I I was sent out,
I was reduced again. I wasback inside this angelic being and I
was being compressed to do this toyou. But we've got to. But
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hold that thought, folks, you'llwant to hear more of this will stay
with us. We'll be back rightafter these messages, and welcome back to
Paranormal steak Out with my guests tonight. Reverend Peter pantegory. It seems like
I keep interrupting you right at theright at the right time, here,
wrong time. We should say so, Peter, you've asked to come home.
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You want to alleviate your your parents'pain. You want to continue on.
Tell us, tell us what happenedthen, and how did you get
out of the predicament on the mountain. That's well that I'll tell you that
in just a moment, because I'llbe there quick as a wink. I
was. I was kicked out ofheaven. Basically I was invited to stay,
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and then once I'd made my choice, I was sent away and was
being compressed back into a human formwhere denser and denser. And as I
was being carried out of heaven,a million million doorways appeared in front of
me, and sort of like aflower pedal pattern, and in the center
of them was a beam of whitelight that was emanating from this darkness that
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was the divine heaven that I hadjust been in, and it was radiating
out and a decreasing fashion to theedge of this all these doors and the
voice, this angelic being, whichwas also the voice of the divine who
had no gender and no religion.By the way is said to me,
choose. I had to choose thedoor, and so and it told me
to choose light. And I sawthe light, and I loved the light,
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and I wanted the light. ButI also wanted some humanity, because
I knew that I was going backwith a mission. I had been told
that I had a job to do. And I realized that in order to
be heard, if I was goingto talk about my experience, I had
to have as much humanity as Ipossibly could and be a full human being.
(30:59):
And so I made choices about that. And the door A door opened,
and I went into this tunnel,and it was in the edge of
the light. It wasn't out ofthe light. It was still in the
light. And as I went downthis tunnel, it was carried down this
tunnel. There were all these otherdoors inside the same tunnel. And in
this all these other doors led toall the other tunnels that I didn't choose,
and they were all the choices Icould make in my life. And
(31:21):
at the end of my tunnel,I ended up just outside a body on
the cliff, and I could seethis body on the cliff. I could
see two people. I could seethis one person shack and the other person
I didn't know who they were.And my angel shoved me inside my body
like cut me open with its likeit's I don't know it's blade of light
(31:45):
or I'm not sure exactly how itdid it, but it sliced open my
body and shoved me inside like aIt felt like I was being twisted in
like a like a very grindy sortof thing, and right inside. And
then I'm inside this physical form andnow I'm much much smaller than I was
before, and it's very compressed,and I'm wondering what's going on. And
(32:06):
I can see out this slit backtoward heaven, I can see the angelic
being, I can see back tothe darkness. And then the slit closed
like that, and I was stuckinside this thing and I didn't know where
I was and I didn't understand whatwas going on. And then the brain
of this thing, because I hadconsciousness outside of my brain, I felt
(32:28):
the brain come on. I waslike, oh, there's the brain coming
on. I didn't know that that'swhat I called it, because but I
just felt this kind of like whirringup of a motor and the brain came
back online, and then my earsstarted working and I started hearing noise,
and I felt this thing shaking,and all of my pain returned. So
it was like one of those medievaltorture chambers with the iron body with the
(32:51):
spikes on the inside, and there'ssomebody on the inside, and they closed
the door and sort of felt likeI was in this great suffering that I
had forgotten about suffering. Suffering didn'texist for me in heaven. There was
It wasn't that I forget it,that it oh yeah, I used to
suffer. There was no oh yeah, there was just no suffering. And
so now I'm in this body fullof suffering and that's being shaken and I
(33:12):
can hear this noise and I openmy eyes as and I hear don't die,
don't die, don't die. Andthere's Tim right in my face and
he's shaking my body and he's cryingand he's screaming. Only I don't know
who he is, and but Ibegin to understand the language don't die,
don't die, don't die. Andhe sees my eyes open and he's like,
yeah, you were dead. Ithought you were dead. And he
pulls me up and pulls me upand he's talking to me, and I
(33:35):
don't have any idea who I amor who he is. I don't know
where I am. I don't knowwhat's going on. I I just know
that I'm in suff the world ofsuffering again. And as my brain came
back online again and I began tounderstand, Oh, this guy is Tim.
I we're up on this ice cliff. But I still know that this
isn't me. I'm inside of thisthing. This. I feel like I'm
(33:55):
in a biological robot and I'm I'msoftware. This is I have an app
inside this robot, and I mostof my software is still up above in
the cloud. So Tim finally tellsme to pull the rope, and I
pull the rope and the rope comesfree in the first pull. And so
maybe because the other times I hadfallen of sleep, I landed a certain
(34:17):
way on the rock, and thistime, when I had died, I
kind of fell off the rock.I'm not sure exactly why the rope came
free. Miraculous maybe, but therope came free, and we descended and
we got the tent, and weself traded for hypothermia, and by some
time after sun up, we werewarm enough to get into the car and
(34:39):
fire up the heater and continue tohit our body. So we self rescued.
And well, yeah, so manyquestions, But the first one did
when did you begin to realize you'rePeter again but still had a memory,
(35:00):
worry of what occurred? And howdid you put all that together? How
did how did that? How didyou rationalize that? I couldn't rationalize it.
I knew that I wasn't Peter.I lived in this conflicted state.
I knew that I wasn't this thingand everybody around me, so we we
had this. A whole lot ofother things happened on the way home.
We ended up getting getting a beingin jail for a while, and we
(35:20):
totaled the car, and also tothat had to hitch, I had to
lie my way across the border.Also the things happened, and when I
got back to the university, everybodywas treating me as if I was the
same person, and I was notthe same person at all. I had
the same characteristics, I had thesame accent, I looked the same,
I had the same allergies. ButI knew inside myself that I was this
(35:42):
higher being inhabiting this body. Icould see. It was like I was
living up here looking through my eyes, or living up here and feeling with
this this weird appendage that had thisyou know these I could manipulate this thing
to me, go ahead, it'sgoing Did do you remember your family at
all? I mean, did youhave the memories of your youth? Oh?
(36:02):
Everything came back on my brain.I remembered everything that had happened to
me when my brain came back intact. But I also knew that I wasn't
this human being anymore, and thatI inhabited this body. And I was
completely lost in the world because theworld to me now looked like a two
(36:22):
dimensional, flat black and white sheetthrough which beamed everywhere the divine light in
a much reduced fashion from what Ihad been in. But there was light
in everything everywhere, but the wholething was kind of celluloid, thin and
flickering and cheap and less than andI was in despair over my choice.
(36:47):
I knew I'd made a choice,but I immediately decided I didn't want to
be here anymore. It took meclose to forty years. I'm forty years
out from this event now, andit's taken me that long to integrate.
It's a continual process. I fakedit for a long time, and I
had the help of Korea yoga andcentering, prayer and meditation, and I
(37:15):
discovered I was going to become anarchitect. I was an English undergrad,
English major undergrad, but I wasgoing to architecture school to join the family
business for graduate school. And Itrashed that idea, and I went to
Divinity School and I studied mysticism,and I found in the ancient mystical texts
people like me who described experiences likeI had had, and so they helped
(37:39):
me understand who I was. ButI kept it hidden for twenty years.
I didn't tell anybody, told mywife. I told one or two friends,
and that's it, because it wastoo crazy. I didn't want to
lose my credibility and I didn't wantto end up in an insane asylum.
Why did you explain it to yourparents? I mean, obviously they were
planning, and you joined the familybusiness, and now you're you've got where
(38:01):
did you get your master Divinity from? And Yale University? Okay, and
and I And oddly enough, asI was applying to Yale. I also
applied for satisfy my family. Igot into Georgia Tech Graduate School of Architecture,
like walked into the dean's office,talk to him and he's like,
yeah, just put in your application. You're in. Showed up my portfolio
(38:22):
and talk to you. Talk tomy dad. And so I told my
parents nothing. They knew that Ihad changed. I told them that that
I My mom always knew that Ihad this kind of spiritual, mystical thing
going on as a kid because ofwhat had happened to me as a child.
So she's like, well, thatkind of makes sense, but we
(38:43):
really wish you would come into thefamily business because my sister was in graduate
school at the time and we hadall these these skyscraper dreams. And I
just didn't care what they said.And I decided this is what I was
going to do, and that's whatI did. And when I got when
I got into I applied to Harvard, Yellen, Princeton, and I got
into Princeton and I got into Yale. And when my parents are like,
(39:05):
oh, you're going to yell,okay, I guess that's okay, And
so you know, it's like,all right, okay, and now what
are you going to do with thiscrazy idea of yours? And you know,
going to Divinis school, you're goingto be a minister. What are
you have? A professor? Whatare you going to do? And I
had decided to become a professor,but my the Diena students let me do
this three year independent study, founda whole found a pile of money to
(39:25):
help me do this, to studymysticism. And never told her why either.
And when I when I finally toldmy parents, I didn't tell my
parents until my book was coming out, you know, because I came out
to my congregation. I was aUnited Church of Christ minister in this town
where I live still in this coastof town in Maine, and there was
(39:49):
this huge embezzlement in the church thatlasted a decade, and it was a
terrible thing. It was big news. You probably you get family in Maine,
I think, and it was inthe papers. They probably read a
about it back then. And Icame up to my congregation as a result
of that, and then I toldmy parents and they did not believe me.
(40:10):
And so finally when the book startedcoming out, I was like,
look, Mom, Dad, I'mserious enough about this that I'm willing to
put myself out in public with this, and they're like, okay, all
right. So they understood that somethinghad happened to me, but they never
they never really believed me, andI long ago gave up on the idea
(40:31):
of trying to convince anybody what happenedto me was real. I couldn't.
It's completely subjective. I can't provethis to anybody, but my love isn't.
Yeah, no, no, that'sthe one problem that we face in
the field. Outside of the sciencethat we know, you can't prove it.
In fact, your story is similarin many ways but different than a
(40:54):
lot of other folks that have hadnear death experiences. What do you think
made yours different or the same asothers? Well, there's a great similarity
in that most many of us,maybe not all of us, but many
of us encountered this overwhelming light andunconditional love that's eternal, everlasting, and
(41:16):
unbreakable. And that's exactly what Iexperienced. All the rest of the stuff
that happened to me, I hadbeen I feel like I'd been prepped my
whole life. I had had awhole series of mystical experiences starting from when
I was a child, and Inever understood them. They had no context.
They would change me. I becamea different kind of person every time,
(41:37):
which is kind of why my momthought I had this mystical thing going
on. I was raised Roman Catholicand Greek Orthodox, and I went to
Catholic school, Catholic high school,and so I had this traditional sort of
Catholic Orthodox kind of upbringing. Buteven though those two churches hated each other
and were it war for centuries,so it was so there was kind of
(42:00):
understandable, but my mystical experiences.I didn't tell anybody about him. Once
I had the first one. Iwas five, and I told my mom,
let's hold up on that one.Next break. But when we get
back, I want to hear aboutbecause you'd mentioned it earlier, about an
experience as a child. So that'swhere I want to go next. So
(42:21):
folks, stay with us. We'llbe back after these messages. You got
to hear the rest of this,so join us, and we're back with
my guests, Reverend Peter Panagor.Just a fantastic story and what you've went
through. We're going to get rightback in that in a minute. But
I just want to remind everybody ifyou want to learn more about my organization's
paranormal FBI dot com or Indian Riverhauntingsdot com, take you to our website.
(42:45):
You can find out a little bitmore about us our YouTube channel at
Indian River Hauntings two three four one. Also, I got to remind everybody
check out the other great programming onthe x Zone Radio and TV network at
Xzone Radio TV or x ZBN dotnet. So see all the other great
shows on here. Peter, howcan folks get a hold of you and
(43:07):
tell us a little bit about thebook that your books? I'm found at
Peter Panagor dot love Peter Panagor dotlove, and have a YouTube channel.
You can find me on YouTube PeterPanagor. The book became an international audible
bestseller and has been optioned for afilm that I've been working on for the
past couple of years, and Ishould be done my responsibility for the contract
(43:29):
hopefully by the first of the year, and then we're off to pre production.
Excelid excellent, So do check thatout, folks. Let's pick it
up now. You you had experienceas a child, And you mentioned that
earlier in the show that the beingswhat you felt wasn't unusual to you because
you had experienced an angel earlier inyour life. Same line, tell us
(43:52):
little bit of okay, tell usabout that. So when I was I
was a little kid. I wasfive years old, kindergarten kid, and
I was gonna try to scare mysisters. They were getting off the they
had gone to Catholic school, andthey were getting off the bus, and
so I decided to climb this littletiny tree in the side yard and jump
down on them when they when theywalked into the yard, and I was
hiding in this tree, and itwas the autumn or late it was like
(44:15):
September, and it was a mapletree, and all these two toned maple
leaves were flipping back and forth andthey mesmerized me. And as I got
mesmerized, I suddenly sort of becamevery peaceful. And as this piece settled
into me, this roaring ocean soundbegan blasting behind me. It felt like
it dropped down behind me, andthen this huge noise and and and then
(44:39):
the noise came inside of me,and it grabbed me and it pulled me
up this root up this people callit the Silver Court. It pulled me
up, and it was this angelicbeing. And I could see myself in
the tree as I was traveling up, and I had a light body again,
and I could see my house,and I could see the curvature of
(44:59):
the earth. We got up intothe atmosphere and then it transformed into this
darkness. And so I'm in thisdarkness for the first time, but I'm
inside the angelic being, and itbecomes like a room for me, like
a big bubble, and it's transparent, and I can see out into the
darkness and I'm inside of this bubble, and I can see the little boy
(45:20):
in the tree, and I knowthat I'm not him, but he's part
of me, but I'm not him. And then this bubble opened. And
as this bubble opened, I gotsucked out of it, and I got
brought into this darkness where I stillhad my light body form. And in
this darkness I experienced infinity. Iexperienced creation and power and allness. And
(45:45):
then I was brought back inside thebubble, and the darkness followed me in
and began to take form. Andthis form shifted ten thousand times ten thousand
different forms, different colors, differentdensities, different materials, And it was
speaking to me, and it saidto me, and this is just a
(46:07):
little boy's language. I'm God,and you have a pre birth deal with
me. You work for me,do you remember, Like, oh,
yeah, yeah, I remember,I work for you. And when I
said that, I got sent backdown and stuffed back in my body again,
and then one in different forms too, three four, five other times,
(46:37):
including two when I was in collegethe year before. I had more
experiences of this divine entity, butthey never really made sense. They were
individual experiences. They changed me.I became a different person each time,
a modified person born again, youcould say. But in my near death
(46:58):
experience, all of those things kindof fell into place. I felt like
I'd been you know, I wasgiven this choice to come back. But
I also felt like I had thislifelong setup for this thing. I feel
like my whole life is like that. I have this lifelong setup where all
these things happened to me that leadme to the point of the next spiritual
experience, and then all the previousspiritual experiences sort of add into that,
(47:22):
and so well, I know mynear death experience is different than other people's.
And so what I did when Iwrote the book is I didn't read
other people's near death experiences. Ijust wrote down what happened to me.
And I told my publisher, Hesaid, you should read these other books.
We got to get comparative so weknow it how to market it.
(47:43):
And I was like, yeah,but if I read these other books,
their thinking is going to impact mythinking. And then I'd rather just tell
my story and let it stand orfall on its own. And I didn't
know anybody else's in Dyel, andtold my story. And it turns out
that my similar to some people anddifferent from others. You think possibly that
(48:07):
the differences could be the the biologicsin US and what we've experienced may have
shaped how people have seen it,how people have experienced I guess is a
better way. Yeah, And Ithink it works the other way too,
on the way back. In thebiologics, the experience of life is a
(48:28):
filter through which this thing is isexpressed. And so if I were you
know, a Hindi, you knowof some some Hindu cult, not cult,
but some Hindu sect, I meanin Bombay, just and raised with
Genesh, my experience afterwards, myinterpretation of my experience would be filtered through
(48:50):
that and and but the purity ofit is is inexpressible, So it's always
filtered through and it's always an expresswell because there's no language on the other
side. But I also think thatmy experience, it's kind of a Catholic
experience. I went to Hell andI didn't get judged. I judged myself,
but I did go through a hellishkind of experience. And a lot
(49:12):
of other end of years they don'thave that. And some end of years
see Jesus. I didn't see Jesus. Some people go to this place where
it's like a meadow. I didn'tgo to a meadow. I don't know
why it works that way, butI do think that I do think this,
that the divine gives each one ofus an experience that helps us when
we come back here to live,to reorient our lives toward love and light.
(49:37):
So it's sort of a custom jobof compassion. That you actually had
a second event, if I'm notmistaken, I did. In twenty fifteen.
Family has a congenital heart thing goingon, you know, killing us
widow maker heart attacks, and Ihad a widow maker heart attack in twenty
(49:58):
fifteen. What that means is thata undred percent blockage. And you sound
like you might know from personal experience. Going to talk it about my personal
experience, I mean, I knowsomebody that should have should have gone.
In fact, they were gone,and they came back after a widow maker
heart attacks. So only six percentsurvival rate with widow maker heart attacks.
And so I died in the ambulance. I live in a pretty rural place.
(50:22):
By the time I got in theambulance, my golden hour of survivability
had already passed. And then Ihad an hour hour and a half ride
in summer summer tourist traffic to thePortland Medical Center to main medical Center in
the cath lab, and I diedon the way. And in my experience
there, I didn't go very far. I came out of my body and
(50:44):
the angelic being now speaking in theplural, come to us. We've been
waiting for you. It's your timeto come to us. We love you,
we love you, we love you. Come, Come, Come,
Come, Come, And it camedown to me and I thought to myself,
I've been waiting for this my wholelife. I've been waiting to get
out of here, and so Istarted to go. And as I started
to go, I thought to myself, well, wait a second, I
(51:07):
got to think this over. IfI have a minute here before I leave,
I got to check on everybody,make sure everybody's all set. And
so I kind of went back intothe cave of myself, my human self,
and I wasn't inhabiting my body,but I could see into it.
And I have a son and hehad been at the emergency room with me,
(51:29):
and he had leaned into me andsqueezed my hand and said, I
love you, Dad. And whenI saw his face, I saw that
he wasn't ready for me to go. And then I saw my daughter who
had just left her moral injured husbandfrom Afghanistan with the baby, and we
had just rescued her and the baby, and they I saw my baby,
(51:52):
my granddaughter's life with me and withoutme, and the same thing that happened
with my parents, and I sawmuch better with me. So I turned
around and I went back out.And then Angelic being had like politely stepped
aside for a bit, you know, with standing on the corner whistling,
waiting for me to finish my conversationkind of thing. And and and then
(52:13):
it came back to me, cometo us, come to us, come
to us. And I said,if it's all the same to you,
and time is timelessness, timelessness here, and I'm going to come back to
this paradise. I think I'll goback in and stick around there for as
long as they need me. AndI turned around and I went back inside
my body. I'm going to giveyou too many more chances, Peter.
(52:34):
Oh, I hope not. Ihope that there are time to charm.
That's what I'm here, fears crossed. Here's a question for you. You
had talked about when you came backafter the incident on the on the mountain,
that you really, you know,you had your memories, you know
who you were, but you reallyweren't that person. How come that didn't
happen a when the incidents when youwere younger and this last why what kept
(53:00):
you from feeling that way again?Or? Oh, when I was a
child, I was every time Iwas raptured into ecstasy, every time that
happened, I had a cord attachedto my body. I was still attached.
But when I died, that firsttime, there was no attachment to
(53:22):
my body. There was no silvercord attachment. It was severed. And
the power of my experience of beingthe in oneness in unity where I lost
all sense of myself, that cameback with me, and so I came
back carrying this extra load of energy. Every single mystical experience I've ever had
(53:45):
in my life, and I includemy near death experiences in that group,
including my second near death experience,I came back a different person, to
different degrees, to different extents.My first ENDE was radically transformative. My
second NDE was transformative in that Idecided to go all in the t.
(54:08):
I had this TV show in Maine, and when I was in thet when
I was in the hospital bed,they called me and said, oh,
the TV station has just been purchasedby the along with forty other stations by
this other corporation, and we're goingto phase out your show. So I
was going to lose my job andI and my book had was coming out.
Amazon launched my book a month earlywhile I was still in the hospital
(54:30):
recovering, and I realized that Ididn't care anymore whether people believe me or
they didn't believe me, I nowhad this opportunity. I only had so
much time left till I die,till you know, third times a charm
and I had a job to do, and I had to be all in
so that I did change. Andmy change was I wasn't going to hide
(54:50):
anymore. I was coming out ofthe closet slowly, the near death experience
closet slowly. But after that secondnear death experience, I'm all in,
which is why I'm here today inyour show well, and I truly appreciate
it. And We've got so manymore things I'd like to chat with you
about. I would really like todelve into a little bit. I wish
we had more time to delve indeeper to some of those experiences, and
(55:13):
maybe we can do that again atanother time, but unfortunately we've run out
of time. So Peter, thankyou so much for being with us tonight
and sharing your story with us.And I want to thank all of you
out there for listening and your support, and just remember that life is short.
Take care of your family, hugyour kids, hug your significant other,
(55:35):
most importantly, take care of yourselves. Until we meet again, We'll
see you on the other side,have a good night
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(00:25):
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and advertisers hereby disclaim any liability forany claims, damages, or losses incurred
as a result of the information presentedin this program. Welcome to the Paranormal
(01:36):
Stakeout Radio TV show with Larry Lawson. As a former career law enforcement officer
and law enforcement educator. Larry focuseson the use of tried and true law
enforcement investigated techniques in conducting paranormal investigations. Despite his experience and training, Larry
also and keeps an open mind todiscussions on topics that deal with evidence that
(01:59):
are not quite as physical in nature. Paranormal stake At guests are professionals in
the field of the paranormal and parapsychology, conducting the investigations and research needed to
further the cause of paranormal study.Larry advocates an agenda of standardization of structure
and training in the field of paranormalinvestigation and research for the purpose of one
(02:22):
day being able to produce the evidenceneeded to convince a jury of the existence
of the paranormal. Whether it isghosts, UFOs, unsolved mysteries, hauntings,
or cryptids, no topic is beyondthe investigative reach of Larry Lawson and
the Paranormal Stay At Radio TV Showteam. Now Here is the host of
(02:42):
the Paranormal stake At Radio TV Show, Larry Lawson, and good evening everyone,
(03:05):
and welcome back to Paranormal Steakout.As always, I am your host
Larry Lawson coming to you from theheadquarters of the Florida Bureau of Paranormal Investigation
and Indian River Huntings in beautiful FueroBeach, Florida. If you'd like to
learn a little bit more about thosetwo organizations, check us out at Paranormal
FBI dot com or Indianriver Hauntings dotcom. You can also find out see
(03:25):
a little bit about what we doin the paranormal research realm on YouTube at
Indian River Hauntings two three four one. Also, you can check me out
right here on the Exton Readom broadcastnetwork by going to Paranormal Steakout dot org
and you can see all of mypast programs as well as everything else.
Now, if you'd like to sendme a question, thoughts, are comments
(03:47):
that I would love to bring upat the beginning of each show, you
can email me at ghost Guy atParanormal Steakout dot org and send me your
thoughts and comments. Would love totalk about it. It seems like lately
every time we've started the broadcast there'ssomething crazy going on in the world.
We've just had another one up inup in the northeast part of our country,
(04:08):
and I want to send our loveand thoughts to everybody, any everybody
that was affected by the tragic eventsin the Lewiston, Maine area. Strange
world we live in, and Ijust want to I want to see that
everybody keeps focused. We're here totalk about the paranormal and things that we're
trying to figure out and make senseof. But let's not lose sight of
(04:29):
the things that are happening in ourworld today and pray for and think about
those that are in need. Soplease keep that in mind. With that,
tonight, I've got an interesting guest, mister, I'm sorry, Reverend
Peter Panagor. Reverend Panagor is comingto us to discuss his experiences with near
death experiences. He's he's crossed thatline and come back. Reverend PanAgora is
(04:54):
recruited to TV as the fifth Ministerof America's oldest religious broadcast is two minutes
spot aired for fifteen years before theMorning Weather on New Center, Maine and
two NBC stations, reaching up toeighty thousand viewers a day. He previously
served in New England as a ministerfor the United Church of Christ. He's
(05:15):
an author, he's a broadcaster,He's also an individual that, as I
said, experience some very very seriousevents. He was ice climbing in the
world famous lore Weeping Wall along theIce Fields Parkway in Alberta, Canada,
when he had a terrible accent andhe passed over. And we're going to
hear about that tonight, as wellas other thoughts that Peter's going to bring
(05:40):
to us. So with that,i'd like to welcome Peter Panagor to the
show. Peter, thanks for joiningus. Thank you, Larry, thanks
for having me here today. It'san honor. Trust me, if you
could share with my audience a littlebit about who you are and how you
got to where you are today.If you can, I feel free to
(06:00):
go right into what happened on thatice mountain. Well, that's really how
I ended up who I am today. I was a twenty year old had
just had my birthday in nineteen eightyand I didn't want to go home to
Boston. I wanted to go onan adventure for spring break. So I
found a fellow who had a tripplanned. And I had been a mountaineer
kind of person, wilderness camper,winter camper, national ski patrol, outdoor
(06:26):
winter outdoor, summer, outdoor allthe time. So we went on an
eight day snow caving back country expeditionin Alberta, which is and we started
on the British part of me inBritish Columbia, we started on the Alberta
border. We skied in and thenwe skied out and at the end of
our trip we had a great trip. We did a one day ice climb
and I'd never been ice climbing before. I'd been a technical climber. I'd
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done a lot of not a lotof rock, but enough rock and on
many mountains. And Tim, mypartner, was a lead climber, certified
lead climber, and I made amistake to begin with. I talked him
into letting me climb with one axeand a hammer. And you probably have
seen ice climbers with these two axesclimbing up right. Well, I had
(07:12):
one and in my other hand Ihad a hammer which is about this long,
which is a tool for ice climbing. It's used to put the ice
crews in and take the ice crewsout and ship the ice. And it
has a little bird beaks errated.You can plant it in the ice and
it can hold as well as theaxe hold. But the difference between them
are twofold. One is the swingof the of the axe is much larger
because it's got a longer handle.And also with the axe, you can
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plant it in the ice. Ithas a pick at the bottom, and
you can let go of the handleand dangle on this strap it's about a
third of the way up the shaft, and relax your arm and stay in
position safely just by opening your hand. But you can't do that with a
hammer, And with the hammer Ihad to grip it the whole time and
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use my forearm, which burned meout. Those two things slow our climb
down. We made us twice asslow as everybody else on the climb that
day, which meant that a couplehours before sunset we knew that we were
in a very precarious position. Itwas a five or six hundred foot climb,
and the climb itself went very well, just very slowly. And the
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further I got along, the moretired I became, the slower I became.
So by the time we actually reachedthe top of our climb, the
sunset temperature dropped about thirty degrees inhypothermia had an immediate onset, so that's
the beginning of it all. Andwe fought our way off the mountain.
We knew that we were going todie because we were isolated were the temperature
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had dropped, our hypothermia was advancingrapidly, and we figured we were going
to die where we were, orwe were going to die trying to get
off the mountain, and we decidedto do the latter part in the dark.
So the rest of your climbers hadgotten were way past you, and
they couldn't gone. They had gone, they'd descended and they'd left. I
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should set the scene. It wasright on the ice Fields Parkway. There's
a parking lot across the street.There's there's a day climb. Everybody knows
it's day climb, and everybody elsehad descended, they had left and driven
away. Oh I see. Yeah, we were by ourselves in the middle
of the wilderness. And even thoughwe were near the highway, this is
still wilderness. This is the middleof the Canadian Provincial Park Service. It's
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just Nowheresville. So you're coming offthe mountain. You're obviously you're almost almost
convinced yourself, not convinced, butyou've realized the fact that you may not
make it out. What happened then, well, we knew we weren't going
to make it out. I'd beenon the National SKIPI Troil since I was
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in high school, and we hadjust had a refresher course. I was
volunteer at Bridger Bowl and Bozeman,Montana. We just had a refresher course
on hypothermia and frostbike because we hadday on the mountain where it was fifty
below zero, and so we werepulling people off with frostbite and hypothermia throughout
the day. So I recognized immediatelyas we began our violent shivers. So
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as soon as the sun went down, all of the muscles in my body
independently of each other, so therewasn't one pulse, there was a million
independent pulses of all the muscles inmy body twitching by themselves on their own
rhythm, and a clattering jaw likeyou see in the cartoons. My whole
body's shaking. I can't hardly talk. And we realized that we were going
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to die where we were sitting,or we're going to die trying to get
off, and so that's what wedecided to do to fight our way down
so I could tell you the wholelong, high adventure of it. And
it was pretty high adventure. There'sa lot of we made some mistakes.
Cold steals your reason. The colderyour brain gets, the more confused a
person becomes. I became, andthe poorer choices that I made as a
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result, it stealed. It's stillmy coordination. It locked up my muscles
so made everything difficult to move,my eyeballs. I could feel my eyeballs
freezing. My tongue became difficult tomanipulate to speak. The cold was was
like fire inside of me and burningme all around. Esh. Every time
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I tell this story, part ofme goes back there and it's it was
the most traumatic experience. I've liveda very adventurous life, and it was
the most traumatic experience I have everhad. I kept my fear under control,
under mental, organized, forceful control, as did Tim. Neither of
us panicked, and we drove ourselvesthrough the night through well a traverse a
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repel, a traverse a repel,and as we went along it got colder
and colder, and we had wehad no food with us. We had
watered because there was ice we couldsuck on the ice, but we had
nothing to fuel ourselves because it wasa day hike. It was it was
a day climb, and nobody,none of the other teams brought up gear
(12:09):
to spend the night. Nobody broughtup extra food. We brought up some
extra food, but we ate it. It was gone. So you're in
this precarious situation. You realize thatyou're you may not make it out.
What happened then and how did youget out? Well, we made it
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to the final repel, and thatwas about one hundred one hundred and fifty
feet up and it had iron pinspoxied into the mountain. Somebody drilled a
hole and poxied in a pin witha ring on it, and a carabiner
and a strap and another caribiner,so we were clipped into the mountain finally,
like sometime very late early morning hours. We had fought our way through
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the night and through the dark toget to this place, so we weren't
going to fall for the first time. And we were only one hundred and
fifty feet up and the car wasright across the street with a tent in
it, so we could if wecould get there, we could get ourselves
safe, but I had the rope. Tim was to my left and he
was clipped in on this situation.As I was standing on this ledge and
I had the rope, and Itook off my mittens, and I tied
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a knot of one end of therope to my harness so I wouldn't drop
it. I took the other endand I threw it out around the corner
of this cliff, kind of thisvertical cliff like that, into this crag,
and I pulled on the rope andthe first pull it got stuck somewhere
up in the dark around the corner. And the more I pulled it,
the tighter it became. So nowwe're in this situation where we couldn't go
up after the rope to pull itdown, and we couldn't descend, and
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that was it. There was nomovement from this position, and so we
stood there as I kept trying topull on the rope and hypothermia continued to
advance. I un zipped my coatat one point, which I knew better
than because I know better than todo that, but I was still feeling
hot because I felt all of theblood rush from my extremities into my core,
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and I had this I remember feelingor thinking, I need my heart
and my lungs and my gut.I don't really need my feet in my
knees. I can lose those tothe ice. And as long as this
part of me is warm, I'llbe okay. And that's what I was
thinking when I end zipped my coatand Tim yelled at me, zip up
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your coat. And I didn't doit because I didn't care. And then
I had this piece follow over mewhen I realized because I had enough mental
capacity, I recognized the symptoms,and I thought, oh, this is
it. I'm done for now,and this piece settled over me when I
(14:43):
a piece of not desiring to stayalive. I accepted my position, I
accepted my fate, and I stoppedfighting, and I started thinking about my
parents, and I started thinking aboutGod, and I began to fall asleep,
and I would crash like a likeblackness would come, like in an
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instant, blackness would come, andI'd fall asleep and I'd crash down to
the rockets, stand back up andpull in the rope. And that happened
a bunch of times, and Istood back up this last time, and
I had tunnel vision, and thistunnel vision, which I'd never seen before,
began to collapse very rapidly into anarrow field. And as it collapsed
very rapidly, I thought, whatis this thing I'd never seen before?
(15:28):
And I started looking around and itkind of followed my vision and got smaller
and smaller, and I was lookingright at the mountain as it got really
really, really really small, andI thought to myself, I must be
falling asleep again. On that note, as much as I want to hear,
I want to hear the rest ofthis. So we got to take
our first break. Folks, staywith us as we continue this compelling story
(15:50):
and we hear what the results were. So stay with us. We'll be
back after these messages. And weare back. But I guess Reverend Peter
panic or I really hated to breakat that moment because we just got to
the point where that tunnel had closed, and I'll let you pick it up
from there. So as the tunnelclosed, I began to think that I
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was falling asleep. But when thetunnel went to black, I didn't fall
asleep. I became awake in anew way. All of my pain,
of my physical body that I'd beenstruggling with all night long vanished, and
I was confused about what was happening. I didn't understand where my pain had
went. I didn't understand what wasgoing on with me. I couldn't.
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I thought to myself, I musthave fallen. But why do I feel
like I'm standing? How can Ibe standing if I fell asleep? I
was very confused. But the spacein front of me where the mountain had
been expanded into a darkness that wasgigantic, and I was still in a
human form, but I had nopain. And as I floated there,
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they're looking in the direction of thisdarkness, way way far in the distance,
this tiny, tiny pinprick of lightappeared and rushed toward me, covering
this distance faster than the speed oflight, because this was a massive expanse.
And as it rushed toward me,it expanded and it communicated to me.
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I say telepathically, but that implieslanguage. There was no language.
It spoke to me inside myself withoutwords at all, and it communicated to
me in an instant that it wascoming to take me. And I replied
in my mind, I'm not goinganywhere. I don't know what's going on,
but I'm staying right where I am. And I sort of took all
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my willpower that I had used tofight my way across the mountain all night
and put it up as a shield, which amounted to onion paper. And
it poked right through this and graspedme and pulled me out, and it
pulled me out, and it wrappedme inside itself, and it was known
to me. It wasn't my firsttime I had encountered this angelic being.
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I had encountered it as a childthat had come when I was a kid,
so I knew it. But Ialso was resistant because I didn't want
to go anywhere because I didn't understandwhat was going on. But as soon
as it enveloped me, I wasinside of it. And it was gigantic.
It was ten thousand times bigger thanme, and I was in the
middle of it, and my physicalbody had been shed. I was in
(18:29):
a what I discovered. Everything I'msaying right now is in metaphor, because
there is no thing that is thething that There's no molecules, there's no
electrons, no photons, no quarks. It is an entirely different structure of
existence. And so I described myselfas having the shape of a human being,
but I was made of light,and I was inside of this angelic
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being which was communicating to me massiveultimate intelligence, massive ultimate compassion, and
it was telling me you're coming withme and showing me itself. And what
I could see of it was thatit was I described as being super positioned.
So I knew that it was thisangelic being was there for me.
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But I could also tell that itwas directly connected to the infidet that I
couldn't perceive, but I knew wasvaster than this angelic being, which was
somehow connected to it, and itand reduced at the same time. There's
a lot of paradox in my story. And so I'm being swept back up,
back in the direction that I hadthat it had come, you know,
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up an escalator, up an elevator, up a tunnel, however you
want to talk about it, samejourney, same same railroad tracks. And
I was super positioned. I couldI had another location outside of this where
I was like an eye of theof God, and I could see myself
inside the angelic being, and asme being inside the angelic being would look
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over to see this eye of myself. I couldn't see it, so I
could see me, and I couldn'tsee me, and I was in two
places at the same time. Andso I swept up this direction. And
then this angelic being got to thekind of that edge space where the pinprick
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had first appeared, and it unfoldeditself. I popped out of it.
It opened up, and I wasinside of suddenly inside a much vaster,
much larger, universal size darkness,an empty darkness, but this darkness was
paradoxically filled with light. I couldsee in every direction, and I had
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become an orb of consciousness. Andthis is metaphor. I became a large
energy being, and my thinking andmy self and my sense there were one
thing. They weren't separate things asI thought. So I was, and
I remembered myself. I thought,Ah, this is who I am.
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I've always been this. Why Howdid I forget who I am? And
I was in comfort and contentment,and all of my pain had gone,
all of my suffering was gone,Every part of my human life was forgotten,
not needed. Question for you,did you feel as if you were
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part of something bigger? Something?Obviously beyond you. But did you feel
like you were part of a collective. Well, yes, my story is
rather long, and lots of thingshappened, and I tell it in a
chronology, but there was it's timelessness. It all happened at once. From
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my point of view, at onestage of my experience, I did experience
that where I became inflated and filledby the fullness of the light itself and
became I became in union with it. I was in oneness with this,
and I had no self left buta tiny little smidgeon, just a tiny
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little smidgeon, and one more dropof this union, I would have been
annihilated and folded back into this,this entity, this being, this light,
this love, beyond comprehension, unimaginablelove that I also experienced as I
was like a singular photon, andthere was a field of photons, and
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there was a septilian photons in thisfield, and it was the Divine itself.
It was them, the many,and they were one, and I
was part of it, and yetI was somehow outside of it and a
reduction of it, limited from theunlimited. So them and one, and
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yeah, I understand, So continueon your you're in this situation. What
happened next? And how how didyou come to how did you come out
of it? I asked to come, but I asked to come back.
Okay, So I'll give you thespeedy journey through what happened to me.
I went through. I saw myoriginal self. I was when I say
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I saw it, I experienced myoriginal self being called into being. I
saw and understood and experienced my everlastingnature. I saw my original self.
I saw my soul self that hadincarnations and I and I also went through
a hell to get there. Soas I was first seeing the divine being
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having it had appeared to me,I should back up and say it is
Suddenly the darkness that I was inhad a had an opening in it,
and through this opening, light pouredlike a waterfall, like a like the
tallest waterfall you can imagine, mostbeautiful, most seductive, most desirous,
and it was. It was madeup of a billion different electromagnetic wave colors
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and X rays and infrared and andelectromagnetic stuff colors we don't have here.
And it was simultaneously all of thesecolors and white light at the same time,
and most beautiful and I went toit and it with a thought,
and I moved toward it as itcame to me, and I touched it
with my being, and then itinfilled me. And as it filled me
(24:37):
and surrounded me and I went intoit, it showed me my human self.
It showed me my just previous life. It was like a big,
huge burning eye looked inside the lifeI had just lived and had shown me
all of the dark corners of myselfwhere there was nothing hidden of me,
and as it it's and I wastrying to high these things. And as
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I tried to hide them, Icouldn't. And it kept saying to me,
I love you. I have alwaysloved you. I made you,
I was with you as you didall these things, and my love is
unending. I love you even thoughyou did these things. And then I
went through this chronology of all ofthe pain that I caused everyone in my
life from the inside of their bodies, feeling what I did to them from
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their point of view, simultaneous withmy point of view, which is all
the reasons why I was causing theirpain. And I was in comparison to
the unlimited purity of divine being,and I wasn't judged. This purity of
divine Being didn't judge me. Ijudged myself in comparison to this unlimited love.
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I saw my smallness, and asI saw my smallness, I also
heard and felt all of the lovethat was I was being awashed with.
I love you, I have alwaysloved you. I forgive you. Come
to me, Come to me,Come to me. And as I listened
to it, I turned toward it, and then I was infilled by it,
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and all of my suffering went away, and I entered into this state
of peace, bliss, adoration,understanding, knowledge, truth, and a
whole bunch of things happened. Almosttoward the end of the experience. Meanwhile,
the Divine Being is welcoming me home, Come home, Come home,
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Come home. And I said,what about my parents? I could still
see them. And I was shownthe universe, our universe, and I
was shown the origin of our originof our universe. There was this infinite
darkness that I couldn't see into,and out of this darkness poured our universe
just like spilled out as light.And then this light became overlaid with the
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matter of an energy of our universeas a darkness that hid the light inside
it. But I could see thelight in sight of everything there was on
all the people on earth as well. And I saw my parents' faces.
And I saw two sets of myparents' faces, Mom and Dad A,
Mom and Dad B. Mom andDad A. I saw their lives without
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me, and the great amount ofsuffering that they were going to incure and
incur. And then I saw theirlives in Mom and Dad be with me,
and I saw a lesser amount ofsuffering, and I saw their end
of life in both of these mayand mommy and B and Dad A and
B, and in the end oftheir lives they came to this place of
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unending love, and which I wasbecause all of the love that was woven
through all of our universe was poureddirectly at me. And I felt like
I was the most beloved that hadever been made. But I could see
that every human being, because Icould see all human beings livetime on earth
like a hologram, I could seethat every one of them was beloved as
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well. And I could see thatno one was lost, that all things
are made out of the divine,and nothing is lost. Everything comes back
into it, into the love itself. And so I saw my parents suffering,
and they're less suffering, and Irecognized the length of my human life
was a snap of the fingers,and I thought to myself, well,
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maybe I can go back and alleviatesome of their suffering. And so I
asked. I said, I knowyou're welcoming me home. You're telling me
it's time to come home. ButI haven't gone all the way quite yet,
have I? No, The answercame back, and I said,
well, can I go back andbe with my parents and alleviate their suffering?
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And the voice said yes. AndI said, well can I come
back here to this paradise and thevoice said yes. I said, well,
I choose to live my life,and the voice said, you won't
live your life and sent me out. And as I I was sent out,
I was reduced again. I wasback inside this angelic being and I
was being compressed to do this toyou. But we've got to. But
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hold that thought, folks, you'llwant to hear more of this will stay
with us. We'll be back rightafter these messages, and welcome back to
Paranormal steak Out with my guests tonight. Reverend Peter pantegory. It seems like
I keep interrupting you right at theright at the right time, here,
wrong time. We should say so, Peter, you've asked to come home.
(29:30):
You want to alleviate your your parents'pain. You want to continue on.
Tell us, tell us what happenedthen, and how did you get
out of the predicament on the mountain. That's well that I'll tell you that
in just a moment, because I'llbe there quick as a wink. I
was. I was kicked out ofheaven. Basically I was invited to stay,
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and then once I'd made my choice, I was sent away and was
being compressed back into a human formwhere denser and denser. And as I
was being carried out of heaven,a million million doorways appeared in front of
me, and sort of like aflower pedal pattern, and in the center
of them was a beam of whitelight that was emanating from this darkness that
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was the divine heaven that I hadjust been in, and it was radiating
out and a decreasing fashion to theedge of this all these doors and the
voice, this angelic being, whichwas also the voice of the divine who
had no gender and no religion.By the way is said to me,
choose. I had to choose thedoor, and so and it told me
to choose light. And I sawthe light, and I loved the light,
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and I wanted the light. ButI also wanted some humanity, because
I knew that I was going backwith a mission. I had been told
that I had a job to do. And I realized that in order to
be heard, if I was goingto talk about my experience, I had
to have as much humanity as Ipossibly could and be a full human being.
(30:59):
And so I made choices about that. And the door A door opened,
and I went into this tunnel,and it was in the edge of
the light. It wasn't out ofthe light. It was still in the
light. And as I went downthis tunnel, it was carried down this
tunnel. There were all these otherdoors inside the same tunnel. And in
this all these other doors led toall the other tunnels that I didn't choose,
and they were all the choices Icould make in my life. And
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at the end of my tunnel,I ended up just outside a body on
the cliff, and I could seethis body on the cliff. I could
see two people. I could seethis one person shack and the other person
I didn't know who they were.And my angel shoved me inside my body
like cut me open with its likeit's I don't know it's blade of light
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or I'm not sure exactly how itdid it, but it sliced open my
body and shoved me inside like aIt felt like I was being twisted in
like a like a very grindy sortof thing, and right inside. And
then I'm inside this physical form andnow I'm much much smaller than I was
before, and it's very compressed,and I'm wondering what's going on. And
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I can see out this slit backtoward heaven, I can see the angelic
being, I can see back tothe darkness. And then the slit closed
like that, and I was stuckinside this thing and I didn't know where
I was and I didn't understand whatwas going on. And then the brain
of this thing, because I hadconsciousness outside of my brain, I felt
(32:28):
the brain come on. I waslike, oh, there's the brain coming
on. I didn't know that that'swhat I called it, because but I
just felt this kind of like whirringup of a motor and the brain came
back online, and then my earsstarted working and I started hearing noise,
and I felt this thing shaking,and all of my pain returned. So
it was like one of those medievaltorture chambers with the iron body with the
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spikes on the inside, and there'ssomebody on the inside, and they closed
the door and sort of felt likeI was in this great suffering that I
had forgotten about suffering. Suffering didn'texist for me in heaven. There was
It wasn't that I forget it,that it oh yeah, I used to
suffer. There was no oh yeah, there was just no suffering. And
so now I'm in this body fullof suffering and that's being shaken and I
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can hear this noise and I openmy eyes as and I hear don't die,
don't die, don't die. Andthere's Tim right in my face and
he's shaking my body and he's cryingand he's screaming. Only I don't know
who he is, and but Ibegin to understand the language don't die,
don't die, don't die. Andhe sees my eyes open and he's like,
yeah, you were dead. Ithought you were dead. And he
pulls me up and pulls me upand he's talking to me, and I
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don't have any idea who I amor who he is. I don't know
where I am. I don't knowwhat's going on. I I just know
that I'm in suff the world ofsuffering again. And as my brain came
back online again and I began tounderstand, Oh, this guy is Tim.
I we're up on this ice cliff. But I still know that this
isn't me. I'm inside of thisthing. This. I feel like I'm
(33:55):
in a biological robot and I'm I'msoftware. This is I have an app
inside this robot, and I mostof my software is still up above in
the cloud. So Tim finally tellsme to pull the rope, and I
pull the rope and the rope comesfree in the first pull. And so
maybe because the other times I hadfallen of sleep, I landed a certain
(34:17):
way on the rock, and thistime, when I had died, I
kind of fell off the rock.I'm not sure exactly why the rope came
free. Miraculous maybe, but therope came free, and we descended and
we got the tent, and weself traded for hypothermia, and by some
time after sun up, we werewarm enough to get into the car and
(34:39):
fire up the heater and continue tohit our body. So we self rescued.
And well, yeah, so manyquestions, But the first one did
when did you begin to realize you'rePeter again but still had a memory,
(35:00):
worry of what occurred? And howdid you put all that together? How
did how did that? How didyou rationalize that? I couldn't rationalize it.
I knew that I wasn't Peter.I lived in this conflicted state.
I knew that I wasn't this thingand everybody around me, so we we
had this. A whole lot ofother things happened on the way home.
We ended up getting getting a beingin jail for a while, and we
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totaled the car, and also tothat had to hitch, I had to
lie my way across the border.Also the things happened, and when I
got back to the university, everybodywas treating me as if I was the
same person, and I was notthe same person at all. I had
the same characteristics, I had thesame accent, I looked the same,
I had the same allergies. ButI knew inside myself that I was this
(35:42):
higher being inhabiting this body. Icould see. It was like I was
living up here looking through my eyes, or living up here and feeling with
this this weird appendage that had thisyou know these I could manipulate this thing
to me, go ahead, it'sgoing Did do you remember your family at
all? I mean, did youhave the memories of your youth? Oh?
(36:02):
Everything came back on my brain.I remembered everything that had happened to
me when my brain came back intact. But I also knew that I wasn't
this human being anymore, and thatI inhabited this body. And I was
completely lost in the world because theworld to me now looked like a two
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dimensional, flat black and white sheetthrough which beamed everywhere the divine light in
a much reduced fashion from what Ihad been in. But there was light
in everything everywhere, but the wholething was kind of celluloid, thin and
flickering and cheap and less than andI was in despair over my choice.
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I knew I'd made a choice,but I immediately decided I didn't want to
be here anymore. It took meclose to forty years. I'm forty years
out from this event now, andit's taken me that long to integrate.
It's a continual process. I fakedit for a long time, and I
had the help of Korea yoga andcentering, prayer and meditation, and I
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discovered I was going to become anarchitect. I was an English undergrad,
English major undergrad, but I wasgoing to architecture school to join the family
business for graduate school. And Itrashed that idea, and I went to
Divinity School and I studied mysticism,and I found in the ancient mystical texts
people like me who described experiences likeI had had, and so they helped
(37:39):
me understand who I was. ButI kept it hidden for twenty years.
I didn't tell anybody, told mywife. I told one or two friends,
and that's it, because it wastoo crazy. I didn't want to
lose my credibility and I didn't wantto end up in an insane asylum.
Why did you explain it to yourparents? I mean, obviously they were
planning, and you joined the familybusiness, and now you're you've got where
(38:01):
did you get your master Divinity from? And Yale University? Okay, and
and I And oddly enough, asI was applying to Yale. I also
applied for satisfy my family. Igot into Georgia Tech Graduate School of Architecture,
like walked into the dean's office,talk to him and he's like,
yeah, just put in your application. You're in. Showed up my portfolio
(38:22):
and talk to you. Talk tomy dad. And so I told my
parents nothing. They knew that Ihad changed. I told them that that
I My mom always knew that Ihad this kind of spiritual, mystical thing
going on as a kid because ofwhat had happened to me as a child.
So she's like, well, thatkind of makes sense, but we
(38:43):
really wish you would come into thefamily business because my sister was in graduate
school at the time and we hadall these these skyscraper dreams. And I
just didn't care what they said.And I decided this is what I was
going to do, and that's whatI did. And when I got when
I got into I applied to Harvard, Yellen, Princeton, and I got
into Princeton and I got into Yale. And when my parents are like,
(39:05):
oh, you're going to yell,okay, I guess that's okay, And
so you know, it's like,all right, okay, and now what
are you going to do with thiscrazy idea of yours? And you know,
going to Divinis school, you're goingto be a minister. What are
you have? A professor? Whatare you going to do? And I
had decided to become a professor,but my the Diena students let me do
this three year independent study, founda whole found a pile of money to
(39:25):
help me do this, to studymysticism. And never told her why either.
And when I when I finally toldmy parents, I didn't tell my
parents until my book was coming out, you know, because I came out
to my congregation. I was aUnited Church of Christ minister in this town
where I live still in this coastof town in Maine, and there was
(39:49):
this huge embezzlement in the church thatlasted a decade, and it was a
terrible thing. It was big news. You probably you get family in Maine,
I think, and it was inthe papers. They probably read a
about it back then. And Icame up to my congregation as a result
of that, and then I toldmy parents and they did not believe me.
(40:10):
And so finally when the book startedcoming out, I was like,
look, Mom, Dad, I'mserious enough about this that I'm willing to
put myself out in public with this, and they're like, okay, all
right. So they understood that somethinghad happened to me, but they never
they never really believed me, andI long ago gave up on the idea
(40:31):
of trying to convince anybody what happenedto me was real. I couldn't.
It's completely subjective. I can't provethis to anybody, but my love isn't.
Yeah, no, no, that'sthe one problem that we face in
the field. Outside of the sciencethat we know, you can't prove it.
In fact, your story is similarin many ways but different than a
(40:54):
lot of other folks that have hadnear death experiences. What do you think
made yours different or the same asothers? Well, there's a great similarity
in that most many of us,maybe not all of us, but many
of us encountered this overwhelming light andunconditional love that's eternal, everlasting, and
(41:16):
unbreakable. And that's exactly what Iexperienced. All the rest of the stuff
that happened to me, I hadbeen I feel like I'd been prepped my
whole life. I had had awhole series of mystical experiences starting from when
I was a child, and Inever understood them. They had no context.
They would change me. I becamea different kind of person every time,
(41:37):
which is kind of why my momthought I had this mystical thing going
on. I was raised Roman Catholicand Greek Orthodox, and I went to
Catholic school, Catholic high school,and so I had this traditional sort of
Catholic Orthodox kind of upbringing. Buteven though those two churches hated each other
and were it war for centuries,so it was so there was kind of
(42:00):
understandable, but my mystical experiences.I didn't tell anybody about him. Once
I had the first one. Iwas five, and I told my mom,
let's hold up on that one.Next break. But when we get
back, I want to hear aboutbecause you'd mentioned it earlier, about an
experience as a child. So that'swhere I want to go next. So
(42:21):
folks, stay with us. We'llbe back after these messages. You got
to hear the rest of this,so join us, and we're back with
my guests, Reverend Peter Panagor.Just a fantastic story and what you've went
through. We're going to get rightback in that in a minute. But
I just want to remind everybody ifyou want to learn more about my organization's
paranormal FBI dot com or Indian Riverhauntingsdot com, take you to our website.
(42:45):
You can find out a little bitmore about us our YouTube channel at
Indian River Hauntings two three four one. Also, I got to remind everybody
check out the other great programming onthe x Zone Radio and TV network at
Xzone Radio TV or x ZBN dotnet. So see all the other great
shows on here. Peter, howcan folks get a hold of you and
(43:07):
tell us a little bit about thebook that your books? I'm found at
Peter Panagor dot love Peter Panagor dotlove, and have a YouTube channel.
You can find me on YouTube PeterPanagor. The book became an international audible
bestseller and has been optioned for afilm that I've been working on for the
past couple of years, and Ishould be done my responsibility for the contract
(43:29):
hopefully by the first of the year, and then we're off to pre production.
Excelid excellent, So do check thatout, folks. Let's pick it
up now. You you had experienceas a child, And you mentioned that
earlier in the show that the beingswhat you felt wasn't unusual to you because
you had experienced an angel earlier inyour life. Same line, tell us
(43:52):
little bit of okay, tell usabout that. So when I was I
was a little kid. I wasfive years old, kindergarten kid, and
I was gonna try to scare mysisters. They were getting off the they
had gone to Catholic school, andthey were getting off the bus, and
so I decided to climb this littletiny tree in the side yard and jump
down on them when they when theywalked into the yard, and I was
hiding in this tree, and itwas the autumn or late it was like
(44:15):
September, and it was a mapletree, and all these two toned maple
leaves were flipping back and forth andthey mesmerized me. And as I got
mesmerized, I suddenly sort of becamevery peaceful. And as this piece settled
into me, this roaring ocean soundbegan blasting behind me. It felt like
it dropped down behind me, andthen this huge noise and and and then
(44:39):
the noise came inside of me,and it grabbed me and it pulled me
up this root up this people callit the Silver Court. It pulled me
up, and it was this angelicbeing. And I could see myself in
the tree as I was traveling up, and I had a light body again,
and I could see my house,and I could see the curvature of
(44:59):
the earth. We got up intothe atmosphere and then it transformed into this
darkness. And so I'm in thisdarkness for the first time, but I'm
inside the angelic being, and itbecomes like a room for me, like
a big bubble, and it's transparent, and I can see out into the
darkness and I'm inside of this bubble, and I can see the little boy
(45:20):
in the tree, and I knowthat I'm not him, but he's part
of me, but I'm not him. And then this bubble opened. And
as this bubble opened, I gotsucked out of it, and I got
brought into this darkness where I stillhad my light body form. And in
this darkness I experienced infinity. Iexperienced creation and power and allness. And
(45:45):
then I was brought back inside thebubble, and the darkness followed me in
and began to take form. Andthis form shifted ten thousand times ten thousand
different forms, different colors, differentdensities, different materials, And it was
speaking to me, and it saidto me, and this is just a
(46:07):
little boy's language. I'm God,and you have a pre birth deal with
me. You work for me,do you remember, Like, oh,
yeah, yeah, I remember,I work for you. And when I
said that, I got sent backdown and stuffed back in my body again,
and then one in different forms too, three four, five other times,
(46:37):
including two when I was in collegethe year before. I had more
experiences of this divine entity, butthey never really made sense. They were
individual experiences. They changed me.I became a different person each time,
a modified person born again, youcould say. But in my near death
(46:58):
experience, all of those things kindof fell into place. I felt like
I'd been you know, I wasgiven this choice to come back. But
I also felt like I had thislifelong setup for this thing. I feel
like my whole life is like that. I have this lifelong setup where all
these things happened to me that leadme to the point of the next spiritual
experience, and then all the previousspiritual experiences sort of add into that,
(47:22):
and so well, I know mynear death experience is different than other people's.
And so what I did when Iwrote the book is I didn't read
other people's near death experiences. Ijust wrote down what happened to me.
And I told my publisher, Hesaid, you should read these other books.
We got to get comparative so weknow it how to market it.
(47:43):
And I was like, yeah,but if I read these other books,
their thinking is going to impact mythinking. And then I'd rather just tell
my story and let it stand orfall on its own. And I didn't
know anybody else's in Dyel, andtold my story. And it turns out
that my similar to some people anddifferent from others. You think possibly that
(48:07):
the differences could be the the biologicsin US and what we've experienced may have
shaped how people have seen it,how people have experienced I guess is a
better way. Yeah, And Ithink it works the other way too,
on the way back. In thebiologics, the experience of life is a
(48:28):
filter through which this thing is isexpressed. And so if I were you
know, a Hindi, you knowof some some Hindu cult, not cult,
but some Hindu sect, I meanin Bombay, just and raised with
Genesh, my experience afterwards, myinterpretation of my experience would be filtered through
(48:50):
that and and but the purity ofit is is inexpressible, So it's always
filtered through and it's always an expresswell because there's no language on the other
side. But I also think thatmy experience, it's kind of a Catholic
experience. I went to Hell andI didn't get judged. I judged myself,
but I did go through a hellishkind of experience. And a lot
(49:12):
of other end of years they don'thave that. And some end of years
see Jesus. I didn't see Jesus. Some people go to this place where
it's like a meadow. I didn'tgo to a meadow. I don't know
why it works that way, butI do think that I do think this,
that the divine gives each one ofus an experience that helps us when
we come back here to live,to reorient our lives toward love and light.
(49:37):
So it's sort of a custom jobof compassion. That you actually had
a second event, if I'm notmistaken, I did. In twenty fifteen.
Family has a congenital heart thing goingon, you know, killing us
widow maker heart attacks, and Ihad a widow maker heart attack in twenty
(49:58):
fifteen. What that means is thata undred percent blockage. And you sound
like you might know from personal experience. Going to talk it about my personal
experience, I mean, I knowsomebody that should have should have gone.
In fact, they were gone,and they came back after a widow maker
heart attacks. So only six percentsurvival rate with widow maker heart attacks.
And so I died in the ambulance. I live in a pretty rural place.
(50:22):
By the time I got in theambulance, my golden hour of survivability
had already passed. And then Ihad an hour hour and a half ride
in summer summer tourist traffic to thePortland Medical Center to main medical Center in
the cath lab, and I diedon the way. And in my experience
there, I didn't go very far. I came out of my body and
(50:44):
the angelic being now speaking in theplural, come to us. We've been
waiting for you. It's your timeto come to us. We love you,
we love you, we love you. Come, Come, Come,
Come, Come, And it camedown to me and I thought to myself,
I've been waiting for this my wholelife. I've been waiting to get
out of here, and so Istarted to go. And as I started
to go, I thought to myself, well, wait a second, I
(51:07):
got to think this over. IfI have a minute here before I leave,
I got to check on everybody,make sure everybody's all set. And
so I kind of went back intothe cave of myself, my human self,
and I wasn't inhabiting my body,but I could see into it.
And I have a son and hehad been at the emergency room with me,
(51:29):
and he had leaned into me andsqueezed my hand and said, I
love you, Dad. And whenI saw his face, I saw that
he wasn't ready for me to go. And then I saw my daughter who
had just left her moral injured husbandfrom Afghanistan with the baby, and we
had just rescued her and the baby, and they I saw my baby,
(51:52):
my granddaughter's life with me and withoutme, and the same thing that happened
with my parents, and I sawmuch better with me. So I turned
around and I went back out.And then Angelic being had like politely stepped
aside for a bit, you know, with standing on the corner whistling,
waiting for me to finish my conversationkind of thing. And and and then
(52:13):
it came back to me, cometo us, come to us, come
to us. And I said,if it's all the same to you,
and time is timelessness, timelessness here, and I'm going to come back to
this paradise. I think I'll goback in and stick around there for as
long as they need me. AndI turned around and I went back inside
my body. I'm going to giveyou too many more chances, Peter.
(52:34):
Oh, I hope not. Ihope that there are time to charm.
That's what I'm here, fears crossed. Here's a question for you. You
had talked about when you came backafter the incident on the on the mountain,
that you really, you know,you had your memories, you know
who you were, but you reallyweren't that person. How come that didn't
happen a when the incidents when youwere younger and this last why what kept
(53:00):
you from feeling that way again?Or? Oh, when I was a
child, I was every time Iwas raptured into ecstasy, every time that
happened, I had a cord attachedto my body. I was still attached.
But when I died, that firsttime, there was no attachment to
(53:22):
my body. There was no silvercord attachment. It was severed. And
the power of my experience of beingthe in oneness in unity where I lost
all sense of myself, that cameback with me, and so I came
back carrying this extra load of energy. Every single mystical experience I've ever had
(53:45):
in my life, and I includemy near death experiences in that group,
including my second near death experience,I came back a different person, to
different degrees, to different extents.My first ENDE was radically transformative. My
second NDE was transformative in that Idecided to go all in the t.
(54:08):
I had this TV show in Maine, and when I was in thet when
I was in the hospital bed,they called me and said, oh,
the TV station has just been purchasedby the along with forty other stations by
this other corporation, and we're goingto phase out your show. So I
was going to lose my job andI and my book had was coming out.
Amazon launched my book a month earlywhile I was still in the hospital
(54:30):
recovering, and I realized that Ididn't care anymore whether people believe me or
they didn't believe me, I nowhad this opportunity. I only had so
much time left till I die,till you know, third times a charm
and I had a job to do, and I had to be all in
so that I did change. Andmy change was I wasn't going to hide
(54:50):
anymore. I was coming out ofthe closet slowly, the near death experience
closet slowly. But after that secondnear death experience, I'm all in,
which is why I'm here today inyour show well, and I truly appreciate
it. And We've got so manymore things I'd like to chat with you
about. I would really like todelve into a little bit. I wish
we had more time to delve indeeper to some of those experiences, and
(55:13):
maybe we can do that again atanother time, but unfortunately we've run out
of time. So Peter, thankyou so much for being with us tonight
and sharing your story with us.And I want to thank all of you
out there for listening and your support, and just remember that life is short.
Take care of your family, hugyour kids, hug your significant other,
(55:35):
most importantly, take care of yourselves. Until we meet again, We'll
see you on the other side,have a good night
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