54. Building Community In Conference [A solo episode with Yolanda]

In this solo episode of Parenting Decolonized, I’m reaching out to you from Georgia, where I’m meeting with the Black Femme Freedom Collective and celebrating our one year anniversary! I also address a serious struggle I’ve been having lately and how I’m overcoming it. Plus, I give you a sneak peek into some of the speakers you will hear from and the workshops you can participate in during the Rona, Racism, and Radical Parenting Conference!

Parenting Decolonized is brought to you by the Rona, Racism, and Radical Parenting Conference on September 23rd-25th, 2022! With 25+ speakers from various backgrounds and experiences, this conference is designed to equip you with the knowledge and practical advice you need to help you manage your triggers, yell less, connect more, and raise liberated, emotionally-well children.

With this conference, I’m hoping we can come together and not only talk about what’s wrong, but discuss solutions and focus on how we can be the change we want to see.

Get $40 OFF early bird tickets (for a limited time only): https://parentingdecolonized.lpages.co/tickets



Don't forget to share, rate, and let me know what you think of Parenting Decolonized Podcast on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/parentingdecolonized and Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/prntgdcolonized!

Read the TRANSCRIPT here: https://parentingdecolonized.com/episode-54-building-community-in-conference-a-solo-episode-with-yolanda

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
This podcast is brought to you bythe RONO Racism and Radical Parenting Virtual Conference,
happening on September twenty third to twentyfifth. It is designed to help
equip you with the knowledge and practicaladvice you need to manage your triggers,
yell less, connect more, andrace liberated, emotionally well children. Welcome

(00:23):
to the Parenting Decolonized Podcast. I'myour host, Eylanda Williams, entrepreneur,
conscious parenting coach and single mom toWant Amazing Tyler. I'm on a mission
to help shine the light on howcolonization has impacted the black family structure.
If you're a parent that wants tolearn how decolonize your parenting, You're in
the right place. Let's do this. Welcome back to the Parenting Decolonized Podcast.

(00:48):
I'm your host Yolanda Williams, andI am coming at you from Georgia.
I am out here with Ga.We made a seven hour world trip
from our saw to Georgia to meetup with the beautiful ladies of the matriarchal
village that I am forming called theBlack Film Freedom Collective the BEFF Collective.

(01:10):
We met out here to celebrate ourone year anniversary of forming and to just
be together. We all met online. We all met like in various Facebook
groups and just with being in someof the same circles when it comes to
liberation work and child advocacy and formedreally deep connections. But we never met

(01:33):
a person. And it feels like, you know, the internet makes it
so it looks like you're watching someone'schild grow up, and we have been
there through each other's relationship problems orbreakups, new kids coming into the picture,
like all these things. But wenever met a person. So came

(01:53):
out here. We met, andlet me tell y'all, it has been
one of the best experience of mylife. The feeling of safety that I
feel for both Gia and I isindescribable. And you know, as someone
raising and artistic kids, safety beingaround safe people is so important. Jia

(02:14):
has spent you know, the lastweek playing in mud puddles with people who
are just allowing her to be herwhole self, telling me to go sit
down somewhere, you know, tellingme to leave her alone, let this
girl do what she wants to do. And I'm not used to that.
I'm not used to not being soharper, vigilant, I'm not used to
being able to fully, fully relaxand trust that the people that are watching

(02:40):
her have her best interest. Andwhen I say best interests, I'm talking
about they are centering her liberation,centering her safety, making sure that they're
not harmful intentionally. It has justbeen so amazing that I'm able to even
record this while she's at the housewith them. And I'm excited for our

(03:02):
future because this has been a toughfew years since this global pandemic has started.
We're in our third year, andit seems like we're on the precipice
of another damn pandemic. With thewith the monkey box, okay, and
between the sickness out here, betweenthe mass shootings, politicians, inflation,

(03:30):
anti CRT, increased racism, itseems like we are reverting back to you
know, Jim Crow South. Insome ways, it just feels really oppressive
right now, really effing oppressive.And I can feel it in my body.
Can y'all feel it in your bodies? Because I can feel it in
mine. My jaw stays clenched.I have to remind myself to remove the

(03:57):
tongue from the roof of my mouthand relax, and there are some days,
y'all where the weight of this worldjust is so heavy on me,
especially when I think about Jia,my daughter, who is four to be
five in November, being you know, non speaking, artistic, black girl,

(04:23):
all those marginalized identities, and howI'm just really not able to fully
protect her from all the harm thatis just around us all the time.
There's times where I just wake upand I'm so afraid. I'm afraid for
her future. I'm afraid for youknow, because of the environment, all

(04:43):
the environmental stuff that's happening. I'mafraid that I'm not taking care of myself
good enough because of all the trustdress that I feel, that I'm not
going to be as around for heras long as I want to be.
It's Oh, there's so much fear, And whenever that happens is when I

(05:04):
have to intentionally make sure that Iam focusing on the good stuff, the
stuff that brings me joy, becausethat fear is paralyzing. And one of
the things that brings me joy iscommunity, and y'all are part of that
community. Y'all are part of mefeeling like, Okay, there are people

(05:26):
in this world working to make ita better place. There are people in
this world who think like me ina similar way, where we are focused
on harm reduction, on liberation,on making this place a more equitable place
for everyone. And that brings mehope, and that brings me joy,
and it helps me keep going whenthings get really really hard, because they

(05:46):
get really really hard for me.I have depression, I have ADHD,
and so being able to navigate allof this stuff sometimes and be a single
mom and being an entrepreneur and notjust any entrepreneurs, someone who takes on
you know, I ask y'all allthe time how you're feeling, what you're
doing, and sometimes those responses weighon me, and please don't stop,

(06:08):
you know, telling your truth.But it's just being in the position that
I've put myself into sort of witnessand hold space for other people is a
lot. And I'll say all thisto say I want to encourage y'all to
find your people, find your community. And the way that I'm helping people

(06:28):
do that is with through my events, especially with my conferences. I don't
know if y'all know this, butI have another conference's coming up September twenty
three to the twenty fifth, andthis conference is for people like me and
you, most likely if you're listeningto my podcast, people who are generally

(06:55):
the first generation in their family tobreak, who want to break generational traumas,
people who are interested in decolonizing,but may not have people around them
to help them along the path,like not having a model for decolonizing,
for conscious parenting, for positive disciplineis hard. Aya. Sometimes i don't

(07:17):
even know what the hell I'm doing, y'all, And I know I'm not
alone in that. I'm constantly apologizing, I'm constantly making mistakes because there's no
one to help me through that,there's no one to model it. So
I know that that's a community.That's what my community looks like. I
know that a lot of y'all arepeople who are the first, but you
are definitely not alone. So manyof us that are doing this work that

(07:43):
are really committed to making sure thatwe are raising up children who love themselves,
who are emotionally intelligent, who areable to change this world because they
are able to see what's wrong withit more clearly than anybody else, because
they were raised in a more liberatoryparenting environment, able to advocate for themselves

(08:07):
and with this conference. What I'mhoping is that we can come together and
not just talk about what's wrong,but really focus on solutions, focus on
how do we be the change thatwe want to see. We have to
talk about what's wrong in order toget to the solution, but that's not
going to be the focus. Focusis going to be how do we get

(08:28):
free, how do we create peacefulfamily cultures? How do we work through
conflicts? How are we raising theseanti racist kids? What are the things
we need to be saying for that. How are we reparenting ourselves? How
do we do that? Because inorder for us to really be out here

(08:50):
in the decolonizing streets doing the workthat we do, we have to focus
on ourselves. We have to bedecolonizing, we have to work on our
mental health, and that shit ishard and we need guides to do that.
People who are out here doing thiswork, who knows how to do,
who are not harmful, culturally responsive, people like my Girl Leslie Priscilla

(09:11):
from Lat's Next Parenting. She's goingto be doing a Reparenting Your Inner Child
workshop my girl de Maar Dickinson forthe parents who started out their parenting journey
with physical punishment with a punitive mindset. And y'all you're trying to transition to

(09:31):
a more conscious, intentional way ofparenting, you'll know what to do,
like how to navigate that, howto change your mindset. She has you.
She has a whole workshop dedicated toparents who used to hit their children,
now they don't want to What doyou do? What are the mindset
shifts that you need to create?And the beautiful part of this community of

(09:52):
people is that it's a note.It's a shame free environment. It is
a shame free environment because we nothat shame only inhibits growth. Shame inhibits
the ability to think critically and tomake better choices. Because you're usually defensive.

(10:16):
When you feel shame, you feelguilt and shame. You usually become
defensive and you don't want to listenanymore. And this is a shame free
zone, shame free. If youused to hit your kids and now you
don't want to do that anymore,but you don't know what the hell to
do, you can go this workshopand you can get that lesson without feeling
like someone's going to demonize you forit. We all have to start somewhere,

(10:37):
and it may not have been whereyou wanted it to be, but
it's never too late to make changesto being a more conscious parent. One
of the things that I'm most proudof for this particular conference too, is
the bringing together of people from differentcultures. This is the most culturally responsive

(10:58):
conference I've ever seen. Okay,yeah, I'm patting myself on the back
a little bit. Okay. Myfirst conference was black af all black everything.
It was beautiful. I'm so proudof that. This conference, I
have a Muslim woman, I havedifferent gender expressions. People who are out

(11:22):
here living their whole lives unapologetically arebeing represented, and people who are newer
divergent. We have hr Mom Melissa, who's going to be hosting our workshop
on how to work with your childrenif they have ADHD and if you have
ADHD, to create like to worktogether, how to make that family function

(11:46):
so everyone thrives and not just theable bodied people. Everyone deserves to thrive
in their household. What does thatlook like, how does it sound?
Where the techniques she's going to teachyou all that. Natasha Nelson from Supernova
Mama. She's going to be helpingparents of new divergent kids and actually it's
all parents, but centering in thekids because I have one and she and

(12:07):
they deserve to be centered as well. Right, She's going to be one
of our speakers, so she's gonnabe talking about brain development and how sensory
play plays a huge part in that, and then giving y'all actual tips on
how to create sensory experiences for yourkids that will not break the banks,
so anybody on any budget will beable to do what she's talking about.

(12:28):
And then there's Heather Clark. She'sgonna be y'all, Heather Clark from the
Learning Advocate. She's going to begiving y'all an amazing workshop on how to
approach the IEP process if you're achild needs an i EP for school,
And it's again from a cultural responsivelens. Most of the time during these

(12:52):
parent conferences, it's pretty white centered, it's pretty able body centered, it's
pretty sis hetero. This conference isfor everyone, everyone, all races,
all genders, all religions, anyonewho wants to raise liberated children but need

(13:16):
a guide to help themselves become liberated. Because we again we need those guides.
We have a panel on how weget free the mindset shifts that we
need to make for that. I'mjust really excited, if y'all can't tell,
And so I wanted to just dothis podcast and let y'all know the
tickets. Early bird tickets are stillon sale for the RONA Racism, Radical

(13:39):
Parenting the Remix Conference again happening inSeptember twenty three to twenty fifth. This
conference, y'all do not want tomiss. You say, forty dollars off
the early bird ticket. And thisis a three day conference, three days
of learning, of communing, ofjoy and laughter. There's gonna be a

(14:01):
life DJ. We're even gonna haveat gen Zer seventeen year old young lady
come and speak to us about whatit feels like to be a teenager and
how parents can help foster their children'slike growth in a more holistic way.
Because what I realized was missing fromthis conference and from most conversations happening online

(14:24):
about children, it's a children andthey deserve a voice too. We have
to assume competence with them, thatthey are able to speak up for themselves
and advocate for themselves with parents soimportant to me. So I really hope
that y'all check out the conference.Again, it's three days of really immersive

(14:45):
learning. Everyone gets a work book, but if you get the Alex's Pass,
you not only receive a workbook,you receive a folder filled with amazing
content from all the speakers or frommost of the speakers, that includes more
workbooks, more worksheets, things thatwould help you along this journey. We
all need help. I need help. I need help. I've been realizing

(15:09):
that my parenting has been off latelybecause of the stress I've been feeling.
And I was finding myself leaning intoa more permissive style of parenting because my
stress was so high. You know, when I would hear gea cry or
whine, it was like, here, just take it, just here,
it's fine. And I was leaninginto that because I just didn't have the

(15:33):
space for anything else in that moment. I was just trying to keep us
alive, y'all, just trying tokeep us alive and keep me from feeling
overstimulated. And that's when I getreally snappy. So I was doing what
was in my capacity to do inorder for me to be able to parent,
and I was leaning into permissiveness,and so listening to podcasts and attending

(15:56):
conferences and doing workbooks and worksheets fromparents coach. I do those things too.
It's really important that we just continuethis learning all the time. This
journey isn't easy, nor is itever over, because as we evolve and
as our children evolve, our parentinghas to evolve too, and so we
just you know, need a littlehelp from our friends sometimes, you know.

(16:19):
Please check out the show notes.The link will be in there if
you purchase a ticket before the twelfthof September. Again, that's an early
bird ticket and you're able to doa clip pay option with that, and
you say forty dollars, which isalways a good deal. And the best
thing is the feeling again a communityof coming to walking away with knowing like

(16:45):
I am not alone. I maybe the first, but I am not
alone. And I am able todo this work because look at all these
other people doing it and here isa group of people that I can lean
on or support. So again,please go out, get you a ticket,
and let's get our hell on.Let's get already colonized on. Let
me know if you have any questionson social media or shoot me an email.

(17:08):
I'm happy to answer them for you. But I hope they'll see y'all
in in the conference, all right, y'all keep the conscious