Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Catherinehileco.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick
from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit
or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Of the Week.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Okay, so this week's library find as another like the
title got me. It is called Advanced Parenting. Now it
has a subtitle, but I just thought, you know, it's
nice that there's an expert out there, because she's an MD.
The author who's acknowledging that parenting is hard and sometimes
(00:43):
it's even harder for some people, because it says advice.
The subtitle is Advice for helping kids through diagnoses, differences
and mental health challenges.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
So like, you know, where was this one? I needed.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
These Sometimes this stuff is hard, and I appreciated.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
That acknowledged acknowledged exactly.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Yes, So yeah, a pediatrician, these advanced parents, she says,
these are the skills that parents use when they learn
to be caregivers, which is a little bit I mean, yeah,
we're all caregivers right like, no matter whether our kids
have particular needs or not. But still I did appreciate
(01:33):
the acknowledgment that there are some additional challenges sometimes, and there.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
A chapter about all the ways in which pediatricians can.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Make that harder.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Somehow advanced seven dealing with pediatricians.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
For example, you have a small.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Hyperactive child with a neurological disability, and your pediatrician makes
you wait for an hour in waiting room with him,
and then you see a different doctor every time you
go there.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
And everyone every time you walk in.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
They say, wow, his head is really small, and this
is the thing that makes you switch to a different practice.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, what do we do with that?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Did she gonna apologize for all the pediatricians who you know,
don't believe you when you tell them something, or don't
want to hear it, or don't want to change the
way they do things, or you know, yee.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
I had a typically developing, healthy baby, but I had
a pediatrician too who was like, I brought the baby
in on a weekend and our you know, main regular
pediatrician was on call on the weekend, and she was like, well,
when you see your regular doctor, like, girl, that's you.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I feel like a number now, that's right.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, I look forward to the I see she does workshops.
I look forward to the pediatricians are bleepholes of workshop on.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
How to manage your pediatricians.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Right, advanced handling of pediatricians parents dealing with advanced parenting anyway,
I just to keep all the specialists straight. Yeah, and
which one doesn't believe? Which one when you go in
and you say, well, this doctor said that they're going
to go, ah, well, well what do they know? Which
(03:41):
one doesn't send the report when they need the report?
You need the report to be into the school districtors. Yes, okay,
do I have they has a chapter on on the resentment.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Anger management for parents advanced parenting.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Victims. Maybe there should be.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I think there should be.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I think there's I think there's a whole other, whole
sequel of this book.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, who new.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Attachment to go to the end?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I don't know, so, but I have a second I
have a second pick for you. So uh the other
day I was it's a follow up to our patron
movie review, if you recall from a few weeks back.
So I'm I'm unpacking our delivery of items from other
(04:35):
libraries that are being sent to us.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And you know, each and.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Every item has a little slip of paper in it
that says where it's going.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
So this one so.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
And this was this happened to be a DVD, right
as I said with a movie review. So some human
had to open up this DVD case to stick this
little piece of paper in it.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
You know, it had to be handled, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
And either this whoever did that was not paying attention whatsoever,
or perhaps they were as amused as I was by
this by what happened, and they decided to let it,
let it ride so that everyone else could share in it.
Because this was an old movie which I don't remember
(05:25):
ever hearing of called just like Heaven heard of it
with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo, who on the cover
truly looks nothing.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Like Mark Ruffalo. Like I was like, who could that?
Who is that?
Speaker 4 (05:42):
So anyway, on the cover of this of this DVD,
there was a little snippet from a review that said,
a delightful comedy Reese Witherspoon is enchanting from Jeffreys. Someone
(06:03):
took the trouble to tear a tiny, tiny piece of
paper and to write the word revolting on a piece
of paper, make it small enough so that it would
fit on this and change it to Reese Witherspoon is
revolting with a piece of paper small enough to not
(06:26):
cover up anything else except the word enchanting. No, she
was not enchanting. She was revolting.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
They were really.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I can't I can't confirm or deny that this was
the same person who had strong feelings about Deadpool versus Wolverine.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
But oh my god, people just really want to get
their message.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Across, and they just taped this piece of paper.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
So I first took a picture, obviously, and then I
just removed this piece of.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Anyway, people people got a share.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So those were my two two thousand and five.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
This movie, oh okay, I had no knowledge of it before.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
The character dies and is haunting the apartment that Mark
Ruffalo moves into. Rom com zaniousness ensues. Sure, sure, sure
human ghost action. But well, in addition to looking things
up on IMDb, yes, I have been trying to find
(07:48):
things to distract myself since I have, as mentioned in
previous episodes, walked down my social media with one sec
so I cannot most of the time sneak onto social
media anymore, which does not necessarily mean that I then
apply myself completely with complete concentration to the work at hand. No,
(08:14):
it just means I have to find new things to
distract myself. So I did find. My latest distraction is
a website called Solitaire with an ed at the end,
and it has all the different kinds of Solitaire games
that you can play on your computer screen. And it,
(08:35):
you know, it's a very pretty simple interface. There's not
a lot of bells and whistles, but it does move
satisfyingly around it, and it has a couple of features
I enjoy, including an undue button if you decide you
shouldn't have done that. It has a hint button that will,
you know, nude you in the direction of the right move.
And it also if you get to the point where
(08:57):
you cannot make any more moves and you hit the
hint button and it says nope, I got nothing, it
will find where you made the mistake and shuffle back
to there. Oh, you will go back to the last
winnable move, okay, and you can then try again. Now,
if you had pride, you would say, hey, I win,
(09:19):
I lose, that is it. I think we all know
that I don't have that pride, so it's like, sure,
shuffle me back, let me try it again, let me
hit the hint button, so I make sure I'm doing
the right thing this time. It's fine. And they have
a Game of the day in all different types of Solitaire,
and either in the Game of the Day or something.
(09:41):
From time to time, after I finish a game successfully,
something comes up and sit tells me what my brain
score is. Put in your age, and it says for
people your age, here's you're doing you know, good, great, whatever.
That's very satisfying because I'm not wasting time. I'm building
my brain, strengthening my brain. See it says right here,
(10:05):
yesterday it said good, Today it says great. I am
building my brain. That can only be good for my work. Right,
I'll just play another game, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
So it's giving you.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
It's telling you that your your brain is better than
today than it was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
It's telling me how my brain is doing. And if
yesterday it said good and today it says great, I'm
gonna take that as a win. Got it of it
says great every day, then well then you know, look
at me better keep going. It does have little scores
all over the place, so you can see how you
did with other you know, against other people. But I
you know, it's usually something like you are fifteen fifty
(10:45):
five out of two thousand.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
And that's you know what the heck. Yeah, I'm an
old lady. I'm not doing this for competition. I'm doing
this for brain building and distraction.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
That's right, if you.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean, there's like a billion solitaire games online and
I just found this one by googling.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
But I've enjoyed it. I think it has some good, uh.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Good little tricks to it, and uh, otherwise it's pretty simple.
So if you're needing something and uh, you haven't blocked
all games on your browser, one of your browsers, because
I've had to now go on every one of my browsers.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
And this guy keeps saying, Oh.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I could do Safari on that computer that's like in
the living room and underneath the couple of books. This this,
this is an amusing way to waste some time.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, my grandmother used to.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
My grandmother taught me several different mm hmm types of
Solitaire that I now no longer remember how to play,
so maybe I can find some of those on it.
There was like one with a pyramid, and there was
oh yeah, one with you try to get all the
face cards like in the corners, like you'd make like
(12:05):
a rectangle out of the card.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Solitaire has a wide variety of I have just been doing.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
The basic the basic solitary.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah, you can do it one card, turning over one
card at a time, or turning over three cards at
a time. So I do both of those, and you know,
that's that's plenty for the moment. At some point I
get bored. There are other possibilities, right, but you know,
just a good quick game of basic solitaire when you're
(12:37):
really in the need of a little brain vacation.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Little something works out very well.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Yeah, well, should we take a vacation back to twenty nineteen.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Let's do that when we, like tay Leoni, we're not
ready to let our children.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Grow up. Yes, exactly. We were talking about how, in theory.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
No disrespect to Taya and my children, like Sophia, the
character played by Tayale Yeah, owners in the building, Yes,
Prince your thirty six year old children on dates.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Yeah, we were back in twenty nineteen talking about how, yes,
in theory we want our kids to be independent, but
in reality that's hard because that involves letting them go
out into the world without us, and.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
What Yeah, yeah, that's hard. It's even hard now when
my kids are well. My daughter's will into her thirties,
my sons still early thirties, but neither of them so
young that they need their mommy with them all the time.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But I, you know, what if to be with them.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah, I would like to not, but then I stay
home and worry.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
So maybe I'll just go with and worry.
Speaker 5 (14:01):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
But you know, as I've mentioned, my daughter has been
looking for jobs, and I do not go with her
to the job interview. I do not go into the
interview location and say, hello, I am her mother, let's talk, right,
But I do go along for the ride and find
(14:26):
an adjacent establishment to spend some time in whilst the
interview proceeds. So that especially if getting there is a
little you know, it's a place she hasn't been before
and she's not quite so sure how to get there,
And then I feel like moral support is a good thing.
And you know, some of the highways here in New
(14:47):
Jersey are very confusing, so.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Well, you don't want to add stress to an already stressation.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Exactly, So you know, I'll go for the ride and
then I'll find another fast food place to sit out
while she goes to a different fast food place and
has an interviewer.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And then she comes to find me and we go home.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
And I feel ridiculous about it, and it would be
better if she was just off doing it herself. But
you know, it's just it's finding how you can be
helpful without you know, I know I can't go to
the actual interview with her and sit down in the
table and advocate for her there. I have thought about,
(15:31):
could I be in the same restaurant if I go
in like fifteen minutes before she goes in or fifteen
minutes after and just sit at a corner table. No, no,
I can't. I can't do that.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Stop stop stop. But that has crossed my mind.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
So that's like a you know, grow up, get a job,
do these things. But do you need mommy to sit
with you, like sit in the car. I could just
sit in the car right and you know you'd know
I was there.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I don't tell it. How are you doing with that?
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Are you?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Have you successfully disengaged?
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Probably not enough.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
I mean I still speaking of find your iPhone, which
we talked about with only murders in the building still
enabled Life three sixty on my phone. And the problem is, like,
you know, if I look at it, it's only going
(16:41):
to really cause more strife, Like it's it's just not strife.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
But it's like if I look at it and my
kid is home, then.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
It's like, oh do they not have any friends or
anything to do? If I look at it and they're
not home, like, okay, are they at class? Are they
at work? You know what if they are driving some
you know, if I can see that they're moving, is
(17:15):
it should they Should they be somewhere else?
Speaker 5 (17:18):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I have all of that, So yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Have all the anxiety and no information.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
Right right unless it's like, Okay, I can see exactly
where on campus my son is, for example, and I
know that he has a job and.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
He's at his job, Like yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
That's probably the only time I'm like, got it work good?
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I have to find my phone on my daughter's phone
and she has it on mind so she can see
where I am.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I need to like whatever. But my son I tried
to set it up in his phone. It didn't work.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
He will not let me look on his phone to
fix it, which is unfortunate because it would be good
to know from time to time or is that and
my husband also doesn't have it. I would like to know,
so I'm limited in my knowledge. But another thing that
we have done that's sort of a like grow up,
but do you want mommy to take care.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Of that for you?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Is like, periodically when my daughter is coming home from work, say,
or having to go someplace, it's pouring down rain and
she gets scared at that. She doesn't like that, but
it's like, do you want to come with me to
this thing I have to drive to in the rain?
And know I do not, but we leave the phone
(18:43):
on and so like I'm sort of we don't even
necessarily talk because she doesn't like to talk while she's driving,
but you just sort of knowing that I'm there and
there's a connection seems to help. So I just sit
there and listen to windshield wipers for half an hour.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
But you feel like you're doing something, and.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
My presence is even just my mute presence is helpful.
And also you know, I have the find my iPhone,
so if there's a detour or something, I can see
where she is.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
And say this.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Is what you need to do, which is good even
if she doesn't need it, the fact that she knows
that I could.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Do that were it necessary.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
So these are the high tech these are the high
tech things the parent and parents cannot do.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
What was the quote, dystopian but fabulous.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Dystopian but fabulous. Absolutely, that's going to be my motto.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
You know, you never know. Technology, technology.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Helping us monitor our children in ways that are somewhat
less embarrassing. I wonder if she'd like how she'd feel
about a robot. Yeah, you just be in your car, you.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Know, Well, at that point, do you get a self
driving car?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
That's true, this is what My son does not have
a driver's license, right, and so people have to go
pick him up all the time. And I keep telling
he's there's people who are telling him he should get
a driver's license, but he's apparently not motivated because if
he was motivated, he would get one. So and if
he's not motivated, I don't want him to do it.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
We can, we can pick him up. It's not a problem.
But I keep saying, you know, probably they're going to
be self driving cars pretty soon. And then it won't matter.
But that hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Yeah, and do we think you'll have to I just
wonder what, you know, will someone will there have to
be a licensed driver in the self driving car?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
I wonderer.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
I mean, because if they're yeah, I mean, I guess,
but there should be You should be able to get
a license to drive a self driving car because there's
less to it, maybe in a way that yeah, I
don't know, maybe so that would be less fun. But
we need to get to the point where they're just
all robotaxis and you can just yeah, have something, have
(21:21):
a machine take you home, right, But I'll worry.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
About that then.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Yes, we'll deal with that later.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yeah, it's that whole dystopian slash fabulous situation.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Thank you for listening. You can find all our episodes
on spreaker, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get
your podcasts. You can find recaps, links, and an opportunity
to comment on our website at parentingroundabout dot com.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
You can also talk to us on our Facebook page,
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roundabout Chat. And please visit our Amazon shop at Amazon
dot com slash Shop slash.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Mamitude, but you can find links
Speaker 4 (22:03):
To a lot of the things we've talked about over
the years.