July 31, 2025 • 23 mins
Here's what we're reading, recommending, and revisiting this week.
Catherine's library find is another of the parenting books we love to hate (or at least find fault with). It's called Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff. Mentioned: Similar "other cultures have this figured out" books on French, Danish, and broadly Scandinavian parenting.
Terri's random recommendation is a few earworms she generously shares with us: First, a song about pronouncing Rob McElhenney's name (mentioned on our Lost recap two weeks ago), for which we can thank Ryan Reynolds; "Ben Franklin's Song," by the Decembrists from Hamildrops; and "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road," by Loudon Wainwright III. Mentioned: A New York Times article about McElhenney's show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
In the archives, we checked in on an episode from 2021 on life's many pressures.
Next week's lineup:
Until then (and anytime you're in need), the archives are available.
This episode was recorded before a live studio audience ... of dogs.
Catherine's library find is another of the parenting books we love to hate (or at least find fault with). It's called Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff. Mentioned: Similar "other cultures have this figured out" books on French, Danish, and broadly Scandinavian parenting.
Terri's random recommendation is a few earworms she generously shares with us: First, a song about pronouncing Rob McElhenney's name (mentioned on our Lost recap two weeks ago), for which we can thank Ryan Reynolds; "Ben Franklin's Song," by the Decembrists from Hamildrops; and "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road," by Loudon Wainwright III. Mentioned: A New York Times article about McElhenney's show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
In the archives, we checked in on an episode from 2021 on life's many pressures.
Next week's lineup:
- Lost S3 E 10, “Tricia Tanaka Is Dead,” on Tuesday, August 5
- The Gilded Age S3 E3, "Love Is Never Easy," on Wednesday, August 6
- Weekly roundup on Thursday, August 7
Until then (and anytime you're in need), the archives are available.
This episode was recorded before a live studio audience ... of dogs.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Catherine Hileco.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick
from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit
or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find of the week.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
This week's library Fine, I bring you another parenting book
to question the intentions of It is called Hunt, Gather Parent.
What ancient cultures can teach us about the lost art
of raising happy, helpful little humans?
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
And for one thing, it says ancient cultures, but it
really means like third world country, Like it's kind of
a cringy, you know, just means non American European.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
And I think it probably makes some good points about
like community basically. I mean, I think the main argument
is like in these cultures, you know, kids are fending
for themselves a little bit more, but they have an
entire community of people around them.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Right, are looking out for.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Them, right, Which was the case when I was growing
up in suburban California. So it's not like this is
an ancient culture. It's just recently we've maybe gotten away
from it. Yeah, there's I'm looking at the picture on
the front of this book that looks like a canvas
(01:47):
tote bag with some stuffed animals in it and some
little shoes. This doesn't look like hunters and gatherers were.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, they were gathering.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Under gathered days.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Well, this author I know has is a reporter for
NPR sop.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But it's like you're kind of undercutting your your thesis
immediately by having a little uh well Mary Jane's off
to the side and you know, your little canvas thing.
But okay, I don't know. You know how we feel
about these things, right the first the first way to
raise happy, helpful little humans is put down the parenting
(02:33):
book and just.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Go parent.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah. Well, and it just you can't.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
You can't separate the environment from the parenting practices. And
that is where all of these kind of fall apart,
you know, like why French kids are polite and why
Norwegian kids are happy when it's.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Cool whatever, Like French kids are poets.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I don't know there there was you know, how French
parents do it, how how.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well I see Viking everybody is better than American parents.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
And it's like, yeah, maybe if I were living in
France or Norway or wherever, I would have different Yeah,
I would have different methods.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, you know, yeah, I'm not sure how universally applicable
parenting methods are.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It depends on so many things.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Well, that's what I mean that there's just yeah, the environment.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I mean we can say obviously there's.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
There's a variety in how every one does things. But
you know, if you're living within a society, like there's
some things that you can't control.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Right, right, I mean we try ancient culture, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
You know, like if you can try like living off
the grid and you know, homeschooling and everything else, but
you know that only works for the first fifteen years
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is just this is like clickbait parenting.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Advice.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Also the time about ancient cultures. What was the average
life expectancy of a child in an ancient culture?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Question?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, and didn't they have like large numbers of children
so that maybe a couple of them would live to to.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Do the farm in the.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So I mean if you only got to you only
have to deal with them for about eight years and then.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Yeah, maybe a little easier. Yeah, we don't have to.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Deal with that teenage nonsense, because by the time they
are teenagers, they're parents and themselves.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, yeah, I don't seems like the sort of thing
that hunt gather parent well, and I think are we
hunting exactly?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
It does have some you know, like everything else, it
has little kernels in terms of including your child in
household tasks and you know, things like that, giving them choices,
giving them, you know, whatever independence you can, which again
(05:33):
is going to depend.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
A lot on the environment. But I mean those.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Little little tiny nuggets, sure you can take from them.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
But also doesn't seem like we need to go back
to ancient cultures to pick that advice. I feel like
there are times within even the lifespan of NPR when.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
That was a thing that that people did.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
There's various reasons, but you know, I still want to
I have to really have to work on this idea
of a parenting book companion, where you could take notes
on parenting advice and then change it so that it
a works for you and b is not annoying.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
To rewrite every parenting book so that it exactly fine.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Hunt and gather any tiny bit of information that you
can see as workable, figure out how to make it work. There,
you toss the rest in the garbage, keep your little
notebook perfect, yes, Hunt, gather parenting informations, and discard the rest.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Well, why don't you tell us what you've gathered?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh yeah, I have gathered a few earworms over the
past little bit. And they're not like current pop songs
that it would make sense for me to just break
out singing in the car. They're a little weird, but
I'm gonna share them with you. You go listen to them,
and then you will be singing them randomly in the
car too, and I will not feel quite so alone.
(07:12):
The first thing is a couple of a couple of
episodes lost episodes ago, we were talking about Rob mcalhoney
playing one of a young guard and you referred to
him as a baby Rob mcalhoney, and you did in
fact pronounce his name correct, right. But we did comment
on the fact that that is quite a name to
have to say without preparation. And I had heard somewhere
(07:35):
that he was legally changing his name to Rob Mack
for that very reason, and in the course of looking
up information on that, and by the way, on IMDb,
he is now, in fact Rob Mac Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I just read a New York Times magazine article about
It's Always Sunny and they referred to him as Mac through.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yes, and I read an article that said his wife
came Linnelson and his kids are a little chagrined by
this because it is still their legal last names. But anyway,
on the subject of it being tricky to pronounce, uh,
(08:16):
Ryan Reynolds made a video with a song with using
I think people from this series they have Welcome to Wrexham.
They own a British soccer team, right anyway, it's a song. Yeah,
it's a song about how to pronounce his name, and
the part that goes, MA call Henny mack coh Henny
(08:39):
goes through my brain all the bleep and time. And
I'm walking around singing that and people are looking at
me funny, and I can't explain it's this this.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Video about this guy's name.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
It's really not even his name anymore, so there's really
no reason for me to care about this song, but
it's just so catchy. It just stuck in my brain
like a burr. So thanks a lot, Ryan Reynolds. I
don't even need to know anymore how to pronounce it
until his children are actors. And the second one was
(09:09):
I was recently doing some work for a client of
mine that involved a school lesson on Benjamin Franklin. Was
actually it was I guess about the Revolutionary War, but
there was a whole section of it on Benjamin Franklin,
and I immediately had to go through my head, do
you know.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Who the bleep? Iye am? Do you know who the bleep?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Bye am? Benjamin something something bleep in Franklin? And I
had to then immediately go on YouTube and listen to
Benjamin Franklin's song, which was an outtake from Hamilton I
Do love that and sung by the December.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I think it was.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Incredibly delightfulness. And anytime I see anything about Benjamin Franklin
and they're talking about how he was an ambassador and
he did this, I'm just imagining him going, you know, yeah, exactly.
The attitude in that song just bled right over into
this school lesson, and I almost put a note for
(10:10):
the people I work for saying, hey, you know, if
y'all haven't ever heard this song, you used to go
listen to it and then you feel better of that idea.
And thirdly, under the category of how does our brain
remember ridiculous, stupid songs that we knew when we were
(10:30):
in school, but forgets everything else we learned in school.
The other day, we were driving on a street in
our town and we passed by a particularly pungent bit
of roadkill, and I said, oh, it's like that song
dead Skunk in the middle of the road. And my
husband looked at me, like, what I said, there's a song?
(10:52):
There was a song dead Skunk in the middle of
the road. And he's like, sure there was, And so
I looked it up and see, I said, right here,
right the third In nineteen seventy two, I had a
song called dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road
and I found it online and I played it and
I sang along to it.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
And why do I remember that, Catherine?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Why?
Speaker 5 (11:11):
I mean?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
I was in eighth.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Grade, probably a prime age to think that a folk
song about dead skunk in the middle of the road
is pretty cool, and we must have sang it at
some point amongst us, and it just it It occupied
a part of my brain and I remembered.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
It like that.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
It wasn't even isn't there a song or something about
something like that? I know I'll know it's that song
Dead Skunk in the middle of the Road. Yeah. My
husband had never heard of it, has no idea what
I'm talking about. Thought I was making it up until
I played it. So now i'm you know, thinking about it.
So every time, every time we passed, we passed that
(11:53):
particular bit of roadkill quite a number of times during
the day, and each time I was ready.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
You were ready, was.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Because it was indeed a dead skunk in the middle
of the road, stinking to high so perfect, perfect music.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Music. It's it's what would we do without it?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And the way that it embeds itself into our brains,
and we'll not leave.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
There.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
It is. I went to a Hello, somebody's taking this Hello,
can you turn that off or down or something?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Okay, does it really work?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I went, So we talked about music, and so now
we have music in the background.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I went to a karaoke birthday party pretty recently, and
you know, if you asked me to sing every single
word of you know, Chicken Fried or whatever, I certainly
could not. But when it's playing and everyone's singing.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Yeah, it just comes out, and it just comes right out.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Brains are so weird the storage. The storage is something
that maybe needs to be looked at. It's the way that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
The efficiency is probably not.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
There, right, But the fact why is that there? What
should those brain cells have instead? What did I learn
in eighth grade science and math that's long gone?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
But dead skunk in the middle of the road has.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
A whole little little quartical cells? Yep, yeah, yep, came
right out. Oh well, what do we have from the archive?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
This week we are going back to twenty twenty one
when we were discussing a tweet that lamented societal press.
Sure to sleep, eat, walk, meditate, care for our homes,
all these things you know, work, don't forget that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
(14:08):
we're supposed to do every day. And you know, oh
if you have children also.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
You have to take care of them.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
So in pets that was I don't know if that
wasn't there, but yeah, it's like when when I whenever
I see people even just with like their.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Nails done, I'm like, but when did you do that?
You know?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Or like there's you know, somebody I follow on Instagram
who's basically an influencer, and so like it's her job
to like look good on camera, but when she shows
like everything she does in the morning and in the evening,
like the routine like this is like two hours of
(14:53):
your day, Like how how does that happen?
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Like I did, I don't get it.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I mean, my morning routine is maybe ten minutes, and
that includes brushing my teeth and putting in my context.
My evening routine is maybe like fifteen.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
To twenty.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
But I also like read a magazine while I'm brushing
my teeth while.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I'm yeah, you know, moisturizing.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I'm also sort of multitasking but not really very well,
so that makes it take longer.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
But still it could not take an hour.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
No, well, do you wear makeup? Still?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I do when I go to work, but that's part
of the ten minutes. Like opal face is five minutes. Yeah,
absolutely can do it in five minutes, but I doubt
that they do. I mean, I think people are doing
the shading and the shape. Oh yeah, all of the
contract all that different stuff, the contours and you know what,
we can see that you did all that stuff and
(16:01):
it looks ridiculous, But okay, if it makes you happy,
if you look in the mirror and you like the
way it looks, if you look at your videos and
you like the way it looks.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
God bless, but I ain't doing it.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I haven't warrant and warn makeup for years and years now,
and I never did that much. It was like eyeshadow,
blush and lip something and I was done. But my
husband didn't like makeup that much, so he was always
happy when I didn't wear it. And I'm like, well, okay, yeah,
(16:34):
mostly wearing it to gotcha, guy, I gotcha.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
You don't want it? Fine with me?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I do remember what.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, I was watching it. My husband and I were
watching TV, and I think a commercial for mes Gara
came on and he is like, who tells that?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I'm like, oh, why do He's like really, oh gosh.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
That is one of the one of the one of the.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Things you still do things that I do. Do you
use a lash curler or you just use the mascar.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I don't use a curler usually, but I do use
a primmer, so like something you ply for the mascara
to make it.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Stay on, which actually works really well.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
This was I was totally influenced by some article that
I was editing, you know, because all I edit is
shopping content all the time, So I have made some
purchases based so yes, so it's too close, you know,
(17:41):
But like I said, I can still do it in five.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Minutes, as long as you can do it in five minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, but no false eyelashes.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
No, that seems ridiculous to me.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
No, my my daughter wears someone she skates or she did.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Oh yeah, well that I can sell. But if that's
part of the costume.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
It's part of the costume. But also, like you have
to get used to wearing those things, you know, you, Yeah,
they feel very weird.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
So yeah, did they ever fall off and land on
the ice and then you have to skate around them?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Or do they glue them on with super glue?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
They well, they do glue.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Them on, but.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
I'm sure they do fall off and then it could
be a costume violation if.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
You yeah, loose one.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yikes, that's I don't think I ever did that. My
eyes have always been super sensitive to stuff, so I
did wear maskara, but probably most of the time it
got all smudge because my eyes were watering from contacts
or glasses or sweat or something. I'm I'm kind of
a mess. So it's really nothing I wear is gonna
make that much difference. But I give you, I give you, you
(18:53):
got another ten years on the mescira and by.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Then you need to be done with it.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
But yeah, I have definitely used being old to pretty
much just ditch out every part of my routine. But
then you get moisturizer's new routine of like taking your
medicine and you got to eat when that's true, and
you got to have this one out stomach and you
got to take this one. Yes, oh my gosh, it's
(19:17):
a nightmare. Yeah, that that is something I do feel
pressure with. It's like, am I gonna remember to take it?
My My husband fixes up my pill bottle, my pill
box every day for me and generally reminds me, but
sometimes I forget. And yes, it's like this one needs food,
this one doesn't. But I want to space these apart.
(19:39):
I want to space them out through the day. I
know it doesn't really matter, and you could just take
them all at once, but that seems wrong to me.
I want to I want to like space them out.
But it's just you know, recently I like increased the
number of pills I was taking.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
It's like, where am I going to broad them? Which
one goes with where or where does it go? Oh
my gosh, I don't have enough slots. I'm gonna have
to eat another meal just to be able to do this.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
I probably have tea. Probably wouldn't complain, like, well, yeah,
that's true.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah right now, as we discussed the other day, now
that I know my BMI increased, my allowance increases over
sixty five, then they bring it on.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
But yes, there is the combination of taking a lot
of medications and then seeing a lot of doctors.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Yes, does sort of create.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I mean, most of the time I feel just fine,
but the pressure of having to remember to go do
this and then this is the day. Okay, I'm getting
a shot in my eye. That means the rest of
the day is shot. And I have to have echo
cardiograms for this one thing. It's like it's a lot.
And I am I this sickly? Am I this elderly
that I am now to just kind of go into
(20:58):
the hospital all the time for this and then the
other Yeah, and yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
It's just a lot to cram into your schedule.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
And I'm also I mean it's making me think that
I really need to get going on you know, updating
our will and figuring out what my kids are going
to do if we are not around. Now, my husband's
grandmother lived to one hundred, so I figure he'll be
around maybe longer than me. But you know, I already
(21:28):
felt the pressure to do it, and then I mentioned
it to my daughter's therapist and she said, oh, I
know some good people, and she gave me some names.
And so now it's like every time my daughter goes,
she says, oh, did your mom.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Call any of those people?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So now there's really pressure cause she, you know, made
sure to tell me how inconvenient, you know, how much
time it took her to get all this stuff together
for me.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
So now if I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Do anything, I'm that terrible person who put her to
all this trouble for nothing. But it's like it's, you know,
one of them is there there, Neither of them are
in my town. One of them is up one way,
one of them is the other way. Do we want
to go south? Do we want to go north? There's
this reason to do this, there's that reason. I'm like
have paralysis before I even make a phone call, trying
(22:13):
to figure out who I should call. And there's somebody
in our neighborhood, I mean know that does our taxes.
Maybe we should just talk to them. But then there's
this other person, maybe we should just so I just
don't do it. So pressure to plan for your death
is a real but not something that you really want
to do easily procrastinated. And I mean you could say, oh, well,
(22:36):
I've got another few years. I'm in pretty good shape.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
I know it's not.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
But you know, one bad one bad move on the highway,
so you can never know.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
There's a lot of pressure right now.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, maybe we have to stop so you can go
take care of some things.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
You need to go back and sing the Benjamin tradlines
on it.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That'll make you feel.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Do you know who they'll bleeby?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Am I'm the person who hasn't yet planned for her demids?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (23:10):
That person?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Ouch?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
But I have planned for the end of this podcast,
which should happen right about now right. Thank you for listening.
You can find all our episodes on spreaker, Apple Podcasts,
Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can
find recaps, links, and an opportunity to comment on our
website at parentingroundabout dot com.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You can also talk to.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Us on our Facebook page, on Instagram or on Twitter,
where you'll find us at roundabout Chat. And please visit
our Amazon shop at Amazon dot com slash shop slash Mamitude,
but you can find links to a lot of the
things we've talked about over the years.
Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I'm Catherine Hileco.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Every Thursday, we're bringing you a library find, a pick
from our archives, and a parenting or pop culture tidbit
or two. Let's start with Catherine's library find of the week.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
This week's library Fine, I bring you another parenting book
to question the intentions of It is called Hunt, Gather Parent.
What ancient cultures can teach us about the lost art
of raising happy, helpful little humans?
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
And for one thing, it says ancient cultures, but it
really means like third world country, Like it's kind of
a cringy, you know, just means non American European.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
And I think it probably makes some good points about
like community basically. I mean, I think the main argument
is like in these cultures, you know, kids are fending
for themselves a little bit more, but they have an
entire community of people around them.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Right, are looking out for.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Them, right, Which was the case when I was growing
up in suburban California. So it's not like this is
an ancient culture. It's just recently we've maybe gotten away
from it. Yeah, there's I'm looking at the picture on
the front of this book that looks like a canvas
(01:47):
tote bag with some stuffed animals in it and some
little shoes. This doesn't look like hunters and gatherers were.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, they were gathering.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
Under gathered days.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Well, this author I know has is a reporter for
NPR sop.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But it's like you're kind of undercutting your your thesis
immediately by having a little uh well Mary Jane's off
to the side and you know, your little canvas thing.
But okay, I don't know. You know how we feel
about these things, right the first the first way to
raise happy, helpful little humans is put down the parenting
(02:33):
book and just.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Go parent.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah. Well, and it just you can't.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
You can't separate the environment from the parenting practices. And
that is where all of these kind of fall apart,
you know, like why French kids are polite and why
Norwegian kids are happy when it's.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Cool whatever, Like French kids are poets.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
I don't know there there was you know, how French
parents do it, how how.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well I see Viking everybody is better than American parents.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
And it's like, yeah, maybe if I were living in
France or Norway or wherever, I would have different Yeah,
I would have different methods.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, you know, yeah, I'm not sure how universally applicable
parenting methods are.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It depends on so many things.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Well, that's what I mean that there's just yeah, the environment.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I mean we can say obviously there's.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
There's a variety in how every one does things. But
you know, if you're living within a society, like there's
some things that you can't control.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Right, right, I mean we try ancient culture, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
You know, like if you can try like living off
the grid and you know, homeschooling and everything else, but
you know that only works for the first fifteen years
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is just this is like clickbait parenting.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Advice.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Also the time about ancient cultures. What was the average
life expectancy of a child in an ancient culture?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Question?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, and didn't they have like large numbers of children
so that maybe a couple of them would live to to.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Do the farm in the.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
So I mean if you only got to you only
have to deal with them for about eight years and then.
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Yeah, maybe a little easier. Yeah, we don't have to.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Deal with that teenage nonsense, because by the time they
are teenagers, they're parents and themselves.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, yeah, I don't seems like the sort of thing
that hunt gather parent well, and I think are we
hunting exactly?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
It does have some you know, like everything else, it
has little kernels in terms of including your child in
household tasks and you know, things like that, giving them choices,
giving them, you know, whatever independence you can, which again
(05:33):
is going to depend.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
A lot on the environment. But I mean those.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Little little tiny nuggets, sure you can take from them.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
But also doesn't seem like we need to go back
to ancient cultures to pick that advice. I feel like
there are times within even the lifespan of NPR when.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
That was a thing that that people did.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
There's various reasons, but you know, I still want to
I have to really have to work on this idea
of a parenting book companion, where you could take notes
on parenting advice and then change it so that it
a works for you and b is not annoying.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
To rewrite every parenting book so that it exactly fine.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Hunt and gather any tiny bit of information that you
can see as workable, figure out how to make it work. There,
you toss the rest in the garbage, keep your little
notebook perfect, yes, Hunt, gather parenting informations, and discard the rest.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Well, why don't you tell us what you've gathered?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh yeah, I have gathered a few earworms over the
past little bit. And they're not like current pop songs
that it would make sense for me to just break
out singing in the car. They're a little weird, but
I'm gonna share them with you. You go listen to them,
and then you will be singing them randomly in the
car too, and I will not feel quite so alone.
(07:12):
The first thing is a couple of a couple of
episodes lost episodes ago, we were talking about Rob mcalhoney
playing one of a young guard and you referred to
him as a baby Rob mcalhoney, and you did in
fact pronounce his name correct, right. But we did comment
on the fact that that is quite a name to
have to say without preparation. And I had heard somewhere
(07:35):
that he was legally changing his name to Rob Mack
for that very reason, and in the course of looking
up information on that, and by the way, on IMDb,
he is now, in fact Rob Mac Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I just read a New York Times magazine article about
It's Always Sunny and they referred to him as Mac through.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yes, and I read an article that said his wife
came Linnelson and his kids are a little chagrined by
this because it is still their legal last names. But anyway,
on the subject of it being tricky to pronounce, uh,
(08:16):
Ryan Reynolds made a video with a song with using
I think people from this series they have Welcome to Wrexham.
They own a British soccer team, right anyway, it's a song. Yeah,
it's a song about how to pronounce his name, and
the part that goes, MA call Henny mack coh Henny
(08:39):
goes through my brain all the bleep and time. And
I'm walking around singing that and people are looking at
me funny, and I can't explain it's this this.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Video about this guy's name.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
It's really not even his name anymore, so there's really
no reason for me to care about this song, but
it's just so catchy. It just stuck in my brain
like a burr. So thanks a lot, Ryan Reynolds. I
don't even need to know anymore how to pronounce it
until his children are actors. And the second one was
(09:09):
I was recently doing some work for a client of
mine that involved a school lesson on Benjamin Franklin. Was
actually it was I guess about the Revolutionary War, but
there was a whole section of it on Benjamin Franklin,
and I immediately had to go through my head, do
you know.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Who the bleep? Iye am? Do you know who the bleep?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Bye am? Benjamin something something bleep in Franklin? And I
had to then immediately go on YouTube and listen to
Benjamin Franklin's song, which was an outtake from Hamilton I
Do love that and sung by the December.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I think it was.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Incredibly delightfulness. And anytime I see anything about Benjamin Franklin
and they're talking about how he was an ambassador and
he did this, I'm just imagining him going, you know, yeah, exactly.
The attitude in that song just bled right over into
this school lesson, and I almost put a note for
(10:10):
the people I work for saying, hey, you know, if
y'all haven't ever heard this song, you used to go
listen to it and then you feel better of that idea.
And thirdly, under the category of how does our brain
remember ridiculous, stupid songs that we knew when we were
(10:30):
in school, but forgets everything else we learned in school.
The other day, we were driving on a street in
our town and we passed by a particularly pungent bit
of roadkill, and I said, oh, it's like that song
dead Skunk in the middle of the road. And my
husband looked at me, like, what I said, there's a song?
(10:52):
There was a song dead Skunk in the middle of
the road. And he's like, sure there was, And so
I looked it up and see, I said, right here,
right the third In nineteen seventy two, I had a
song called dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road
and I found it online and I played it and
I sang along to it.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
And why do I remember that, Catherine?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Why?
Speaker 5 (11:11):
I mean?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
I was in eighth.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Grade, probably a prime age to think that a folk
song about dead skunk in the middle of the road
is pretty cool, and we must have sang it at
some point amongst us, and it just it It occupied
a part of my brain and I remembered.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
It like that.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
It wasn't even isn't there a song or something about
something like that? I know I'll know it's that song
Dead Skunk in the middle of the Road. Yeah. My
husband had never heard of it, has no idea what
I'm talking about. Thought I was making it up until
I played it. So now i'm you know, thinking about it.
So every time, every time we passed, we passed that
(11:53):
particular bit of roadkill quite a number of times during
the day, and each time I was ready.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
You were ready, was.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Because it was indeed a dead skunk in the middle
of the road, stinking to high so perfect, perfect music.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Music. It's it's what would we do without it?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And the way that it embeds itself into our brains,
and we'll not leave.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
There.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
It is. I went to a Hello, somebody's taking this Hello,
can you turn that off or down or something?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Okay, does it really work?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I went, So we talked about music, and so now
we have music in the background.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I went to a karaoke birthday party pretty recently, and
you know, if you asked me to sing every single
word of you know, Chicken Fried or whatever, I certainly
could not. But when it's playing and everyone's singing.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Yeah, it just comes out, and it just comes right out.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Brains are so weird the storage. The storage is something
that maybe needs to be looked at. It's the way that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
The efficiency is probably not.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
There, right, But the fact why is that there? What
should those brain cells have instead? What did I learn
in eighth grade science and math that's long gone?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
But dead skunk in the middle of the road has.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
A whole little little quartical cells? Yep, yeah, yep, came
right out. Oh well, what do we have from the archive?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
This week we are going back to twenty twenty one
when we were discussing a tweet that lamented societal press.
Sure to sleep, eat, walk, meditate, care for our homes,
all these things you know, work, don't forget that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
(14:08):
we're supposed to do every day. And you know, oh
if you have children also.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
You have to take care of them.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
So in pets that was I don't know if that
wasn't there, but yeah, it's like when when I whenever
I see people even just with like their.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Nails done, I'm like, but when did you do that?
You know?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Or like there's you know, somebody I follow on Instagram
who's basically an influencer, and so like it's her job
to like look good on camera, but when she shows
like everything she does in the morning and in the evening,
like the routine like this is like two hours of
(14:53):
your day, Like how how does that happen?
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Like I did, I don't get it.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I mean, my morning routine is maybe ten minutes, and
that includes brushing my teeth and putting in my context.
My evening routine is maybe like fifteen.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
To twenty.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
But I also like read a magazine while I'm brushing
my teeth while.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
I'm yeah, you know, moisturizing.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I'm also sort of multitasking but not really very well,
so that makes it take longer.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
But still it could not take an hour.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
No, well, do you wear makeup? Still?
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I do when I go to work, but that's part
of the ten minutes. Like opal face is five minutes. Yeah,
absolutely can do it in five minutes, but I doubt
that they do. I mean, I think people are doing
the shading and the shape. Oh yeah, all of the
contract all that different stuff, the contours and you know what,
we can see that you did all that stuff and
(16:01):
it looks ridiculous, But okay, if it makes you happy,
if you look in the mirror and you like the
way it looks, if you look at your videos and
you like the way it looks.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
God bless, but I ain't doing it.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I haven't warrant and warn makeup for years and years now,
and I never did that much. It was like eyeshadow,
blush and lip something and I was done. But my
husband didn't like makeup that much, so he was always
happy when I didn't wear it. And I'm like, well, okay, yeah,
(16:34):
mostly wearing it to gotcha, guy, I gotcha.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
You don't want it? Fine with me?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I do remember what.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, I was watching it. My husband and I were
watching TV, and I think a commercial for mes Gara
came on and he is like, who tells that?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I'm like, oh, why do He's like really, oh gosh.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
That is one of the one of the one of the.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Things you still do things that I do. Do you
use a lash curler or you just use the mascar.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I don't use a curler usually, but I do use
a primmer, so like something you ply for the mascara
to make it.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Stay on, which actually works really well.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
This was I was totally influenced by some article that
I was editing, you know, because all I edit is
shopping content all the time, So I have made some
purchases based so yes, so it's too close, you know,
(17:41):
But like I said, I can still do it in five.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Minutes, as long as you can do it in five minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, but no false eyelashes.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
No, that seems ridiculous to me.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
No, my my daughter wears someone she skates or she did.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Oh yeah, well that I can sell. But if that's
part of the costume.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
It's part of the costume. But also, like you have
to get used to wearing those things, you know, you, Yeah,
they feel very weird.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
So yeah, did they ever fall off and land on
the ice and then you have to skate around them?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Or do they glue them on with super glue?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
They well, they do glue.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Them on, but.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
I'm sure they do fall off and then it could
be a costume violation if.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
You yeah, loose one.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yikes, that's I don't think I ever did that. My
eyes have always been super sensitive to stuff, so I
did wear maskara, but probably most of the time it
got all smudge because my eyes were watering from contacts
or glasses or sweat or something. I'm I'm kind of
a mess. So it's really nothing I wear is gonna
make that much difference. But I give you, I give you, you
(18:53):
got another ten years on the mescira and by.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Then you need to be done with it.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
But yeah, I have definitely used being old to pretty
much just ditch out every part of my routine. But
then you get moisturizer's new routine of like taking your
medicine and you got to eat when that's true, and
you got to have this one out stomach and you
got to take this one. Yes, oh my gosh, it's
(19:17):
a nightmare. Yeah, that that is something I do feel
pressure with. It's like, am I gonna remember to take it?
My My husband fixes up my pill bottle, my pill
box every day for me and generally reminds me, but
sometimes I forget. And yes, it's like this one needs food,
this one doesn't. But I want to space these apart.
(19:39):
I want to space them out through the day. I
know it doesn't really matter, and you could just take
them all at once, but that seems wrong to me.
I want to I want to like space them out.
But it's just you know, recently I like increased the
number of pills I was taking.
Speaker 5 (19:55):
It's like, where am I going to broad them? Which
one goes with where or where does it go? Oh
my gosh, I don't have enough slots. I'm gonna have
to eat another meal just to be able to do this.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
I probably have tea. Probably wouldn't complain, like, well, yeah,
that's true.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah right now, as we discussed the other day, now
that I know my BMI increased, my allowance increases over
sixty five, then they bring it on.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
But yes, there is the combination of taking a lot
of medications and then seeing a lot of doctors.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Yes, does sort of create.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I mean, most of the time I feel just fine,
but the pressure of having to remember to go do
this and then this is the day. Okay, I'm getting
a shot in my eye. That means the rest of
the day is shot. And I have to have echo
cardiograms for this one thing. It's like it's a lot.
And I am I this sickly? Am I this elderly
that I am now to just kind of go into
(20:58):
the hospital all the time for this and then the
other Yeah, and yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
It's just a lot to cram into your schedule.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
And I'm also I mean it's making me think that
I really need to get going on you know, updating
our will and figuring out what my kids are going
to do if we are not around. Now, my husband's
grandmother lived to one hundred, so I figure he'll be
around maybe longer than me. But you know, I already
(21:28):
felt the pressure to do it, and then I mentioned
it to my daughter's therapist and she said, oh, I
know some good people, and she gave me some names.
And so now it's like every time my daughter goes,
she says, oh, did your mom.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Call any of those people?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So now there's really pressure cause she, you know, made
sure to tell me how inconvenient, you know, how much
time it took her to get all this stuff together
for me.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
So now if I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Do anything, I'm that terrible person who put her to
all this trouble for nothing. But it's like it's, you know,
one of them is there there, Neither of them are
in my town. One of them is up one way,
one of them is the other way. Do we want
to go south? Do we want to go north? There's
this reason to do this, there's that reason. I'm like
have paralysis before I even make a phone call, trying
(22:13):
to figure out who I should call. And there's somebody
in our neighborhood, I mean know that does our taxes.
Maybe we should just talk to them. But then there's
this other person, maybe we should just so I just
don't do it. So pressure to plan for your death
is a real but not something that you really want
to do easily procrastinated. And I mean you could say, oh, well,
(22:36):
I've got another few years. I'm in pretty good shape.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
I know it's not.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
But you know, one bad one bad move on the highway,
so you can never know.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
There's a lot of pressure right now.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Yeah, maybe we have to stop so you can go
take care of some things.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
You need to go back and sing the Benjamin tradlines
on it.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That'll make you feel.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Do you know who they'll bleeby?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Am I'm the person who hasn't yet planned for her demids?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (23:10):
That person?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Ouch?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
But I have planned for the end of this podcast,
which should happen right about now right. Thank you for listening.
You can find all our episodes on spreaker, Apple Podcasts,
Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can
find recaps, links, and an opportunity to comment on our
website at parentingroundabout dot com.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You can also talk to.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Us on our Facebook page, on Instagram or on Twitter,
where you'll find us at roundabout Chat. And please visit
our Amazon shop at Amazon dot com slash shop slash Mamitude,
but you can find links to a lot of the
things we've talked about over the years.
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