Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
The wounded healer. Why I coachand train and teach in all that I
do. Your pain is your superpowerquote. In our own woundedness, we
can become a source of life forothers. You know, I heard this
saying the other day and it justclicked. Those who have suffered greatly can
(00:29):
leverage their experiences for others. Thisis why prison ministry by those who have
suffered the system can help heal thoseinside the system. It is through experiences
in these trials where wisdom comes insome cases, as individual's greatest gift to
the world only emerges through the crucibleof pain. We all know the stories.
(00:51):
We all have heard the tales.We all know how the story ends,
and it's all true. It's alwaysbeen true. Those who have suffered
are the ones that can heal others. I've suffered greatly in life, and
so have you. I'm only fourdecades deep, but yet at some points
I feel like I've lived in eternity. Have I suffered from good and bad
(01:14):
decisions up and down the entire spectrumof reality? Absolutely, this is the
stochastic nature of reality. Topographical mappingsof human potential are impossible to trace in
track or even project life sure seemsrandom at times, and frankly, with
all of those bad decisions that youand I have made, the only constant
in all of them is you andme, So let me count the ways.
(01:41):
In all honesty, I'm writing allof this because I'm writing all of
this, and I'm speaking this outto you guys now because it's important to
my soul that I put it downin some format from my brain. Now.
As you guys well know, Itook lots of notes, and this
is just how I I do braindumps. I don't mind the honesty of
(02:01):
it, as imperfect as it is, and frankly, since I'm well aware
that there is nothing new under thesun, my experiences aren't unique or even
story worthy. But it's my storyand I don't mind sharing. I started
my life out as an orphan.I was eventually adopted. I don't think
(02:22):
I need to expand on the importanceof love, affection, time, attention,
and physical touch in the early stagesof child development. I lacked all
of this in my formation. Thiscreated my internal and foundational mental models of
the world. You're alone, It'snot them, it's you. You must
(02:43):
survive, And finally, nobody's comingto save you. I got to meet
lots of police in my young youngeryears and court. If you're a wise
business person, you'll do a backgroundcheck on people you put money into.
You should. I have people andan to tease run checks on me yearly.
I used to have a top secretsecurity clearance with polygraph for government contracts.
(03:06):
Now I'm no felon, but you'llsee if you do a background check
on me that I've enjoyed going fastsince nineteen ninety nine. I've had people
steal from me and cheat me.I've lost more money than I can ever
admit. Ninety nine percent of thetime. It's always bad judgment in character
period. The investment opportunity may soundgood, but for fuck's sake, do
(03:31):
the extra diligence. I have alot of ego me I do. I
have a lot of ego around howmuch data I pull when I make decisions.
You guys who have been following me, you know this, and you
know what. I have been screwedin every single one of the deals where
I cut corners on diligence. It'salways one hundred and ten percent my fault.
(03:53):
Every single time I've had terrible businessdeals. Once again, Character character
character. I'm glad that I haveagile and scrum as a mechanism to learn
things fast and build anything. However, learning character requires touching skin and face
to face time. I now havea new rule in rubric that I must
(04:14):
be willing to fly out to meetthat person before I actually sign anything.
So far, it's helped reduce alot of FOMO. In the last five
or seven years, I've been firedfrom clients, I've had contracts cut short.
I could blame my autism for thereason why I'm so blunt and candid.
However, I have learned to bemore caring in my approach with clients,
(04:36):
even though a truth be told.I have had a client let me
go because they said that they didn'tlike my autism. You can read my
newsletter and blog posts for that.I won't blow up anyone's spot. But
I did go through a period oftime where a group of agile coaches and
I discussed regularly how often we'd haveclients, managers, or executives cry in
(04:58):
the office. Yes this was real, guys, Passion for real change,
hits hard and real feelings. Weall want a better work life, angeline
scrum can help make real effective changein organizations. Great coaches are willing to
go the distance and allow real emotionsto be part of the equation. Can
healing exist within corporate walls. Absolutely, I've witnessed it myself. I've experienced
(05:24):
close family deaths. We all will. I've experienced long suffering dehabilitation. Many
of us will experience this, andI've also suffered alongside loved ones suffering it.
Most of us will as well.I've had nine months of depression in
the past. I've discussed this atlength. You can go find it and
the videos too as well online.I wish it on no one. For
(05:46):
a deep thinker, Depression is mentalhell. I've witnessed multiple categories of evil
in multiple arenas of life. Tounderstand how to integrate one's shadow is an
important right of passers that many peoplenever experience. It's not that I want
you to witness evil in all itsdegeneracy, but to understand that you and
(06:08):
I are capable of all of theevils in life. In the most dire
of situations, we just have towrestle and contend with that. Now,
now you have no solution for allof the evil that I've seen in this
world. I have no solution fordeep integration of one's depravity, but I
will tell you this. The morethat you are self reflective and you've integrated
(06:30):
your shadow into your life, youhave a deeper understanding of humanity and the
potential of evil in the world.This keeps you very alert and self aware.
Now, none of this, noneof the above things that I've talked
about that I've struggled with are new, and there are many others too.
But the point is we're all thesame here, aren't we. And this
(06:55):
is why I coach, teach,and train. It's my way of giving
life to others. It's my interpretationof my gifts. It's how I fulfill
the destiny of the gods. It'show I bring love to the world.
My greatest moments in life, atwork, home, play, or doing
anything are always a combination of justtwo things. Number one, a moment
(07:18):
of relationship between myself and another,and two, fully understanding the other person
because I fully understand their pain,because I've been there, I've done that,
I've experienced it. This mutual understanding, this shared understanding, this deep
(07:39):
knowing, it has always allowed meto ask the right questions, provide the
right context, and bring light intothe moment in time with them. I've
seen this pattern time and time again. I'm blessed to have two children who
allow me to reflect my patience inunderstanding their growing pains as they go through
teenager years. I do very muchenjoy conversing with my children. From what
(08:01):
I understand, it ranks top functionof parents that help determine the trajectory of
your progeny TLDR. You should betalking to your kids all the time now.
Building companies and investing in companies haveallowed me a very quick feedback cycle
of win or learn many times overthe decades of work. Oh man,
(08:24):
the suffering was great, I've thanksto building startups and investing in startups,
I get to feel the entire cycleof pain quite quickly and multiple times throughout
the year. But oh oh oh, the lessons learned or even tastier.
Isn't that what life is all aboutanyway? Relationships with other people? After
all, you see, we allhave gifts. How we interpret our gifts
(08:48):
through the lens of our suffering willprovide your gifts the deeper value that you
can provide to you your family,friends, clients, or strangers to long
did not read. T dr ofall of this blog post is simply this.
I've suffered a lot in bad businessrelationships, not doing my homework,
(09:09):
willingness to be honest delivery has improvedthough, and a worldview. Then I'm
alone all the time. However,my superpower is my willingness to share my
experiences through my work and life.It has allowed me deeper relationships that matter
and help me provide even better anddeeper value to the people I serve.
I coach, train, and teachas a passion because that is the way
(09:33):
that I have leveraged my pain.Your pains are your superpowers. Give the
gift of life to others. Allthe best, And if you like the
way I'm fighting injustice, remember tolike and subscribe.
The wounded healer. Why I coachand train and teach in all that I
do. Your pain is your superpowerquote. In our own woundedness, we
can become a source of life forothers. You know, I heard this
saying the other day and it justclicked. Those who have suffered greatly can
(00:29):
leverage their experiences for others. Thisis why prison ministry by those who have
suffered the system can help heal thoseinside the system. It is through experiences
in these trials where wisdom comes insome cases, as individual's greatest gift to
the world only emerges through the crucibleof pain. We all know the stories.
(00:51):
We all have heard the tales.We all know how the story ends,
and it's all true. It's alwaysbeen true. Those who have suffered
are the ones that can heal others. I've suffered greatly in life, and
so have you. I'm only fourdecades deep, but yet at some points
I feel like I've lived in eternity. Have I suffered from good and bad
(01:14):
decisions up and down the entire spectrumof reality? Absolutely, this is the
stochastic nature of reality. Topographical mappingsof human potential are impossible to trace in
track or even project life sure seemsrandom at times, and frankly, with
all of those bad decisions that youand I have made, the only constant
in all of them is you andme, So let me count the ways.
(01:41):
In all honesty, I'm writing allof this because I'm writing all of
this, and I'm speaking this outto you guys now because it's important to
my soul that I put it downin some format from my brain. Now.
As you guys well know, Itook lots of notes, and this
is just how I I do braindumps. I don't mind the honesty of
(02:01):
it, as imperfect as it is, and frankly, since I'm well aware
that there is nothing new under thesun, my experiences aren't unique or even
story worthy. But it's my storyand I don't mind sharing. I started
my life out as an orphan.I was eventually adopted. I don't think
(02:22):
I need to expand on the importanceof love, affection, time, attention,
and physical touch in the early stagesof child development. I lacked all
of this in my formation. Thiscreated my internal and foundational mental models of
the world. You're alone, It'snot them, it's you. You must
(02:43):
survive, And finally, nobody's comingto save you. I got to meet
lots of police in my young youngeryears and court. If you're a wise
business person, you'll do a backgroundcheck on people you put money into.
You should. I have people andan to tease run checks on me yearly.
I used to have a top secretsecurity clearance with polygraph for government contracts.
(03:06):
Now I'm no felon, but you'llsee if you do a background check
on me that I've enjoyed going fastsince nineteen ninety nine. I've had people
steal from me and cheat me.I've lost more money than I can ever
admit. Ninety nine percent of thetime. It's always bad judgment in character
period. The investment opportunity may soundgood, but for fuck's sake, do
(03:31):
the extra diligence. I have alot of ego me I do. I
have a lot of ego around howmuch data I pull when I make decisions.
You guys who have been following me, you know this, and you
know what. I have been screwedin every single one of the deals where
I cut corners on diligence. It'salways one hundred and ten percent my fault.
(03:53):
Every single time I've had terrible businessdeals. Once again, Character character
character. I'm glad that I haveagile and scrum as a mechanism to learn
things fast and build anything. However, learning character requires touching skin and face
to face time. I now havea new rule in rubric that I must
(04:14):
be willing to fly out to meetthat person before I actually sign anything.
So far, it's helped reduce alot of FOMO. In the last five
or seven years, I've been firedfrom clients, I've had contracts cut short.
I could blame my autism for thereason why I'm so blunt and candid.
However, I have learned to bemore caring in my approach with clients,
(04:36):
even though a truth be told.I have had a client let me
go because they said that they didn'tlike my autism. You can read my
newsletter and blog posts for that.I won't blow up anyone's spot. But
I did go through a period oftime where a group of agile coaches and
I discussed regularly how often we'd haveclients, managers, or executives cry in
(04:58):
the office. Yes this was real, guys, Passion for real change,
hits hard and real feelings. Weall want a better work life, angeline
scrum can help make real effective changein organizations. Great coaches are willing to
go the distance and allow real emotionsto be part of the equation. Can
healing exist within corporate walls. Absolutely, I've witnessed it myself. I've experienced
(05:24):
close family deaths. We all will. I've experienced long suffering dehabilitation. Many
of us will experience this, andI've also suffered alongside loved ones suffering it.
Most of us will as well.I've had nine months of depression in
the past. I've discussed this atlength. You can go find it and
the videos too as well online.I wish it on no one. For
(05:46):
a deep thinker, Depression is mentalhell. I've witnessed multiple categories of evil
in multiple arenas of life. Tounderstand how to integrate one's shadow is an
important right of passers that many peoplenever experience. It's not that I want
you to witness evil in all itsdegeneracy, but to understand that you and
(06:08):
I are capable of all of theevils in life. In the most dire
of situations, we just have towrestle and contend with that. Now,
now you have no solution for allof the evil that I've seen in this
world. I have no solution fordeep integration of one's depravity, but I
will tell you this. The morethat you are self reflective and you've integrated
(06:30):
your shadow into your life, youhave a deeper understanding of humanity and the
potential of evil in the world.This keeps you very alert and self aware.
Now, none of this, noneof the above things that I've talked
about that I've struggled with are new, and there are many others too.
But the point is we're all thesame here, aren't we. And this
(06:55):
is why I coach, teach,and train. It's my way of giving
life to others. It's my interpretationof my gifts. It's how I fulfill
the destiny of the gods. It'show I bring love to the world.
My greatest moments in life, atwork, home, play, or doing
anything are always a combination of justtwo things. Number one, a moment
(07:18):
of relationship between myself and another,and two, fully understanding the other person
because I fully understand their pain,because I've been there, I've done that,
I've experienced it. This mutual understanding, this shared understanding, this deep
(07:39):
knowing, it has always allowed meto ask the right questions, provide the
right context, and bring light intothe moment in time with them. I've
seen this pattern time and time again. I'm blessed to have two children who
allow me to reflect my patience inunderstanding their growing pains as they go through
teenager years. I do very muchenjoy conversing with my children. From what
(08:01):
I understand, it ranks top functionof parents that help determine the trajectory of
your progeny TLDR. You should betalking to your kids all the time now.
Building companies and investing in companies haveallowed me a very quick feedback cycle
of win or learn many times overthe decades of work. Oh man,
(08:24):
the suffering was great, I've thanksto building startups and investing in startups,
I get to feel the entire cycleof pain quite quickly and multiple times throughout
the year. But oh oh oh, the lessons learned or even tastier.
Isn't that what life is all aboutanyway? Relationships with other people? After
all, you see, we allhave gifts. How we interpret our gifts
(08:48):
through the lens of our suffering willprovide your gifts the deeper value that you
can provide to you your family,friends, clients, or strangers to long
did not read. T dr ofall of this blog post is simply this.
I've suffered a lot in bad businessrelationships, not doing my homework,
(09:09):
willingness to be honest delivery has improvedthough, and a worldview. Then I'm
alone all the time. However,my superpower is my willingness to share my
experiences through my work and life.It has allowed me deeper relationships that matter
and help me provide even better anddeeper value to the people I serve.
I coach, train, and teachas a passion because that is the way
(09:33):
that I have leveraged my pain.Your pains are your superpowers. Give the
gift of life to others. Allthe best, And if you like the
way I'm fighting injustice, remember tolike and subscribe.
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