All Things Relationships

Lady J and co-host, Keith Omar kick off the debut of the rebranded show (formerly Pillow Talk), now Relationshipology, with their guest, Michelle Jones by discussing factors of all types of relationships. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:37):
The inspiration for the songs because of you. The inspiration
for the songs because of you. The inspiration for the
songs because of you.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
You.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
It's fun you.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
Hey, everybody, Welcome to the debut of Relationship Ology here
on jq LM Radios. Girl Lady Jay and my co
host Keith Omar is running a couple minutes later. He's
gonna be joining us in just a few minutes, and
we have a guest also that will be joining us.

(01:40):
But I'm gonna go ahead and get the formalities out
of the way as we always do before I introduced
the show and what we're gonna be talking about. So
if this is your first time tuning in to JQLM Radio,
be sure to tell your family, friends, and followers to
tune in as well. They can tune in by downloading
the JQLM Radio on their Apple or Android devices. You

(02:02):
can also listen live on Amazon, Alexa, tune in app,
stream of Simple Radio app, and a host of other platforms,
of which you can find on our website where you
can also listen live at EGO entertainmentnet dot com. Also,
don't forget to follow, like, and share us on social media.
You can follow JQL on radio at JQL on Radio,

(02:25):
on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Also follow EGO Entertainment at
EGO INTNT that's E G O E N T N
E T on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And make sure
that you connect with us on LinkedIn as well at
Ego Entertainment Eco Entertainment Network. Sorry'll almost forgot. Also, don't

(02:47):
forget to connect with me on social media, Lady J.
You can follow me on Facebook at ladyjbrand I do
follow back, follow me on Instagram at LADYJ dot Co,
on Twitter at jaqu underscore one.

Speaker 5 (02:57):
Also on LinkedIn at lady J.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
And if you want to know more about myself and
everything that I do, what's going on, make sure you
stop by my website at LADYJ dot Co.

Speaker 5 (03:09):
So, now though we have that out of the way.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Yeah, I'm trying to switch my cameras because yeah, my
one of my cameras ain't acting right. But anyway, so
relationship Ology listen together you either fall or fly.

Speaker 5 (03:24):
That is our tagline.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
Relationship Bology is all about understanding the art of relationships, business,
personal romance, kinships, friendships, all the ships. So while we
waiting on my co host Keith Omar to come on.
We don't know who we're gonna get today, whether it's

(03:46):
gonna be Keith or Omar. Let me go ahead and
introduce my guest or our guests for tonight.

Speaker 5 (03:52):
I know, I think we have some other guests coming on.
I'm not sure, but.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Let me introduce her. You all know her. She used
to be on JQL on radio.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
She is still a part of Ego Entertainment Network, operating
as an affiliate or events team. Let's welcome Michelle P.
Jones of Girl Talk to the show. Welcome, what's up?

Speaker 5 (04:15):
Hey? How you doing?

Speaker 6 (04:16):
I am fantastic? How about you?

Speaker 5 (04:19):
Good?

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Good?

Speaker 5 (04:20):
Good? Can't complain, we'dn't do. It's no good, no way,
I would not do.

Speaker 6 (04:24):
A bit of good to complain because guess what, it's
not gonna change.

Speaker 5 (04:28):
Nothing anyway, not at all, not even a little bit.

Speaker 6 (04:32):
Nope.

Speaker 5 (04:33):
So relationship ology.

Speaker 4 (04:36):
So before we get into our debut topic for tonight,
which is all things relationships, So we're gonna be touching
on friendships, business relationships, romance, parenthood, and all of that,
just tea bits because that's what we're gonna be talking about.

Speaker 5 (04:53):
Every week.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
We're gonna pick a topic and pick an area. But tonight,
since this is the debut show, we're just gonna run
it down. So tell me what was your first thought
or what comes to mind when you think about the
word relationship oology And yes, that's my word.

Speaker 5 (05:06):
Job made it up, so.

Speaker 6 (05:08):
I had to ask about that. Their word all things relationships.
It's kind of what went into my thought process, almost
like the study of relationships is kind of the thought
process that I had. So you know, it's not necessarily

(05:30):
just for romantic relationships. It could be for any type
of relationship. As you were talking, a thought came to
mind because you know it was a turn back in
the day romance.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah, yep, romance yep. Obama and Biden started that one.

Speaker 6 (05:51):
Yep. Yeah, So that's kind of what I thought about.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
Okay, so relationship ology when we are you know, when
I decided, you know, to revamp Pillow Talk, you know,
it was kind of on and off, on and off
with life happening and you know what I'm saying, and
we have been doing the show for a while, so
I was like, hmm, let me see how we can
kind of switch this thing up where we can kind

(06:16):
of cover a lot more because to be honest, our
relationships with our parents, our kids, our families, and all
of stuff that actually impacts how we interact with people
at business, how we interact in our romance, our romantic
relationships and things of that sort. So we just decided,
m let's just go ahead and just throw it all

(06:37):
in there. Now, let me tell let y'all know, we
do have segments on the show, but we won't be
doing them tonight because it's is the debut show.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
So we'll have segments. Oh my god, wait, what so.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
Segment that you all are gonna hear every week and
that is gonna feature people doing off the chain stuff
or off the chain stories concerning relations So let me
just tell y'all listen, I used to work at a
place where I mean it was a major scandal going on. Okay,
it was all over the news and everything. So yeah,
we got some stories for y'all. But anyway, and if

(07:12):
we see y'all on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, Snapchat
or whatever acting a plum food with your mate, with
your kids and business or whatever, you're gonna be in
that segment.

Speaker 5 (07:22):
Oh my god. Wait wait, Also when we have we
do it, we do it.

Speaker 4 (07:29):
We did keep battle of the sexist so that it
would be your trivia between the men and the women.
And we still have the how well do you know
your mate? So for those of you who are couples,
don't come on here trying to play.

Speaker 5 (07:45):
If y'all know.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
Good and well, you don't pay attention to the small stuff.
So y'all wanna be leaving the show mad, okay, because
we've had that happy all right, so h and we
will definitely be giving away stuff. So I'll be giving
away tickets to the Valentine's Day comedy show coming up
on February eleventh with TP hearn it's going down here
in the city anyway.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
And yeah, we'd be giving away stuff here on the
show too.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
So that's a little bit about excuse me, what you
can expect on relationshipology.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
So let's get into it, uh Michelle. So let's start
with family.

Speaker 4 (08:21):
So we know that family relationships are some of the
most who heart wrenching and can be some of the
most tumultuous relationships. Now, personally, I will say a lot
of people who know me know that I'm not close
to my family. I don't really have relationships with my

(08:41):
I'll say my biological family, because family to me is
more than just someone being a part of my DNA.
So you're a relative at that point, to be family
means so much more so with you. Tell me, because
this is all about the art of understanding relationships with family.
Tell me that about the dynamics of your family and

(09:05):
how that and how it is compared to the standard
or the majority of what you see in society. As
far as the African American community.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
Well, growing up, it was the traditional black household, dual
parent household. Everybody came to our house for holidays, for picnics,
for cookouts. All the kids would be running around the yard.
But as we have become adults ourself, raising our own children,
my mother has become the center of our world. There's

(09:40):
not much that doesn't go on that does not revolve
around her. And as my children have become adults, I'm
noticing that they're not really into the intimate setting. You know,
we do the holiday get togethers and things like that,
but everybody has their own idea of how they want

(10:04):
to do this family thing. Plus they have their own
families to raise themselves, so we really my mother is
truly the matriarch of our family, everything centers around her.
If Marva is not okay, nobody in the family is okay.
If you do something to Marve, you're going to answer
to about five generations. And that's pretty much how it's

(10:31):
set up. As you know, I lost my brother this
time last year, and it was really difficult for us
because he was when my father passed away, he kind
of stepped into that role as being the head, the
male head of the household and of the family, and
he kind of took on the role of being there
for his nephews specifically, but for all of his nephew

(10:55):
and nieces to make sure that he was presenting himself
as a male ro model for them to be able
to start a business if that's what they wanted to do,
and he would support them. If they just needed mentoring,
then he was there to do that. And so what
I am finding now is that as each generation becomes

(11:15):
an adult, they kind of move a little bit further
away from the close knit inner circle of the family,
but they still have to answer to the moms. Now, right,
She's not having none of that. She will not be
dethroned up under any circumstances. So we still do the

(11:35):
traditional stuff.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
Okay, Now, I know in my when I was growing up,
so I started having two parent home, but that was
let's just say it was a conducive for raising kids.
But I did grow up with grandparents who were married
until death, and I spent a lot of time with

(12:00):
my grandparents and my grandmother, my grand my grandmother and
my grandfather was definitely the matriarch of our family when
I was growing up. And my grandmother is no longer here,
excuse me. So she was kind of like the glue
and kind of kept everybody in order or tried her best,
you know, to keep everybody in order. So I definitely
understand that dynamics. Now what I want to talk about

(12:21):
through on the on the kind side. So, yeah, you
have that family dynamic, but we know that a lot
of times in the African American community, you also have
that downside to where when things are going on in
the family that need to be addressed, it's always what
goes on in this house stays in this house, and
everything is a secret, and that tends, I think, to

(12:41):
cause what it does cause division. And as your children
and their children and their children gets older, I think.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
That the level of I'll.

Speaker 4 (12:52):
Say animosity and division kind of continues to grow and
expand across the generations. So in regards to that, tell
me how your family differs or maybe is similar.

Speaker 6 (13:09):
I was raised up under that moniker. What goes on
in this house stays in this house. Don't be going
down in the street sharing our business. It's not for
human consumption. It's what goes on in this house. However,
when I raised my children, that wasn't necessarily how I
chose to raise them, because a lot of times I'm

(13:30):
a PK twice over, so there were a lot of
things that we couldn't do for image sake, and there
were a lot of expectations that were put upon us
because both of my parents were ministers, and so looking

(13:52):
at that, it kind of created an avenue for me
growing up that I didn't know who I was until
I was well into of my adult years because I
was always trying to be who everybody expected me to
be based on those relationships that I had growing up, right,
and I know that I have a lot of friends

(14:14):
that did not that did not have what I had.
You know, my father adored my mother. There was nothing
that he wouldn't do for her, and there was nothing
she wouldn't do for them. And I'm sure they had
their arguments, but they didn't have them in.

Speaker 5 (14:33):
Front of us, right right, You've.

Speaker 6 (14:36):
Never heard them raise their voices to each other.

Speaker 5 (14:41):
Keith is joining us now. He finally graced us with
his presence.

Speaker 3 (14:47):
Man, I was having technical.

Speaker 5 (14:51):
I see, I can see you in the background. But
glad that.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know who were getting today.

Speaker 5 (15:00):
Throw more.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
A little bit of both problems.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Okay, okay, So we decided to kick it off with
talking about family dynamics, family relationship.

Speaker 7 (15:10):
That yeah, I was kind of I was kind of
hearing it.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
So, Keith, tell us a little bit about your family
dynamics growing up. Did you have the what goes on
in this house stays in this house? Everything is a secret?
Was it two parents? One parent?

Speaker 5 (15:27):
Has it a network?

Speaker 7 (15:29):
Kind of the same with what you just heard. I'm
a PK as well. My father pastor for thirty years.
Both parents were in the household. And it's funny that, uh,
like my dynamic is different from what the traditional household
is nowadays. Like the traditional household nowadays is one parent

(15:53):
in the house and what, well, I guess it kind
of bothers me a little bit that people all right
with that and that's just so normal that that it
kind of that that bothers me. It really does. But yeah,
I have both parents in the household. I come from
a household of education. My mother was a school teacher

(16:17):
and my father, like I said, he was a pastor.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
Uh.

Speaker 7 (16:20):
He also worked a full time job at for General
Motors as well, so he did General Motors for thirty
five years. My father was also in the military. He
was a sergeant. Uh So, like I didn't do. The
funny thing is I didn't come from.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
My house that was too strict. You know. We of course,
we had our rules that we had to follow. Uh.
It was a dictatorship.

Speaker 7 (16:45):
There was no such thing as you know, a child
had a had a voice to.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
I guess, yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah,
you know you didn't.

Speaker 7 (16:57):
There was no such thing as you know, you had
an opinion person say about a rule or you know,
a law in the house. So it was a dictation.
But it was you know, like I grew up, I
took all the time. I grew up great though, man,
Like I had freedom. And what's so funny is I

(17:17):
really appreciate my parents for allowing me this freedom because,
like I said, coming from the South, for my parents
were from Mississippi, you know, with strict backgrounds, they could
have really been strict on me like that, you know,
especially my father being a pastor, you know, well known
like we you know, it could have been strict. And

(17:40):
then like my older brother, he you know, he was
a knucklehead. So they could have really like tightened up
on me.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
But they didn't.

Speaker 7 (17:49):
To their credit, they understood, you know, my character, the
kid I was. What I was going to get into,
what I wasn't going to get into what I was about.
You know, my house was not my just my house.
My house was home to a whole lot of kids.
I mean, like I loved it like man like I

(18:10):
used to when I say, a whole lot of kids.
Like just a couple of years ago, you know, almost
three years ago, my father passed away and with the
year following up, my mother we moved her to Atlanta.
And you know, me and one of.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
My really close friends over thirty years, uh.

Speaker 7 (18:30):
We you know, we're part owners of this moving company,
and we was moving my mother and so my mom
was already in Atlanta in her new house, and you know,
we're we literally packing up, you know, everything in the
old house.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
And we've been in this house for over thirty years.

Speaker 7 (18:48):
And when I like I said, when I say my
house was home to a whole lot of children, it
was home to a whole lot of kids, like with
both of my when I was a growing adult, like
my thirties, I said, friends from high school still would
drop in.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
On my parents.

Speaker 7 (19:06):
And like, I remember one day I was coming over
and I saw Cornel driveway and recognized, but.

Speaker 3 (19:13):
I see any of my parents' vehicles. I was like,
who's this. Somebody must have came in from out of
town or something, you know. I was like, no, those
in Indiana place though.

Speaker 7 (19:22):
So I pull up, I walk into the door and
pretty much every light is off of the house with
the TV. Like, I'm like, okay, you know, I walk in,
it's one of my boys stretched out on the couch
with a plate on the floor next to him.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
I'm like, dude, you know, for real.

Speaker 7 (19:42):
So I walk over our town, I'm like, dude, he's like,
oh man, when you wake me up?

Speaker 3 (19:47):
I was sleeping good. I was like, what you here? Like,
oh man, I stopped thereing on Mama and daddy.

Speaker 7 (19:53):
You know, I have to see my popall for a minute,
since I was over here around the way he was like.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
I was like, but.

Speaker 7 (20:00):
Man, you ate my roast beef sandwich.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
He's like, oh man, Mama, say I can have it.
She said, You're supposed to be here a couple of
days ago to pick it up, but you.

Speaker 7 (20:08):
Wasn't here, So I myself. I mean, it was crazy.
But the thing is that is not an uncommon thing.

Speaker 5 (20:17):
Yeah, since.

Speaker 4 (20:20):
Now it was. It wasn't uncommon back then. It was
common back then, but it's not common now.

Speaker 6 (20:24):
It's not.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, it's not at all. Yeah, not at all.

Speaker 7 (20:27):
But it's just so funny, like you know, like it
since you know we are shows about relationships. It's so
funny how I retained friendships all because of how it
was brought up.

Speaker 6 (20:40):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 7 (20:42):
It is so funny how I retained relationship, you know,
relationships with friends, all because how I was brought up.
Like when I say my house was the spot everybody
has visited my home that would, like, I no exaggeration,
I would probably say every black student in my high

(21:02):
school between my junior and senior year of high school,
I would probably say at least seventy to seventy been
at my house.

Speaker 6 (21:15):
Was when I was growing up, our backyard was huge.
It was like.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
Two problems.

Speaker 6 (21:23):
Spot. You know, you play outside and everybody's running around,
and then you know the dreaded street lights.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
Boy, if you but in.

Speaker 6 (21:35):
Our yard when the street lights came on, you better
hurry up get home because you should have already been
an ounce.

Speaker 5 (21:41):
That's right.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
So based on how we how we grew up, tell
tell me a little bit, because I know for me,
based on how I grew up, we tend to repeat
some of the things that we learned. For me, I
grew up in a domestic violence household, so and then
that turned into my mother being a single parent, and

(22:05):
a whole bunch of other stuff that you know, became worse,
a bunch of abuse and all this other kind of stuff.
So I know, for me and growing older, entering into
romantic relationships, I tend to repeat those things. I should

(22:25):
say then, not now, because clearly no.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
But.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
Those things that we grow up around in our environment,
a lot of times, nine times out of ten, we
become products of our environment instead of exceptions to our environment.
I will say that I am probably an exception. But
when we first starting out and we're learning, we take
what we know or what we've learned or what we've
been exposed to into other types of relationships. So tell

(22:54):
me how does your romantic relationships or how have they
over the years reflected your environment as kids?

Speaker 6 (23:05):
Mine's really didn't. Mine didn't because, like I said earlier,
I really didn't know who Michelle was. I knew who
everybody expected Michelle to be, and so I tried to
live up to that standard and not really knowing who
I was until I was well into my twenties. One

(23:26):
of the things that I found myself was gravitating to
the bad boy somebody that was totally opposite of what
I had when I was growing up. Because I'm a
daddy's girl, and so there was nothing that I couldn't
get from my dad. There was nothing my dad wouldn't

(23:47):
do for me. There were even times when he played
interference between me and my mom. Because it's kind of
like what Keith said, you know, not only was what
goes on in this house stays in this house, but
remember your play.

Speaker 5 (24:00):
A child is supposed to stay in a child's playing right, right.

Speaker 6 (24:04):
And on top of me being a daddy's girl. I'm
the youngest of four and so I was the last one.
So there was a lot of things that I got
away with that my siblings didn't get away with. But
there was structure and there were rules. So because sometimes

(24:25):
the grass does look more attractive and greener on the
other side, so you venture out over there and you
realize that ain't what you thought it was, and so
you find your way back home.

Speaker 5 (24:37):
So that's kind of what it was for me, hm Keith,
that is yours. How did you and.

Speaker 7 (24:45):
My environment was? I did copy a lot of what
my parents did. You know, my parents, like I watched
them and I watched how they operated there, operated as
a team.

Speaker 3 (25:01):
But you know, I also understood there were certain things.

Speaker 7 (25:05):
Between them that you know, I.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
I wanted more of, you know what I'm saying. I
wanted more like.

Speaker 7 (25:15):
When I grew up, I was a daddy's boy at
first until the girls start coming along. Once my sister
started popping up, man, it was a rat. It was
over with that all got shut down. It was done.
So that run lasted, you know, for about a good
eight years, you know what I'm saying. But he he

(25:35):
came run. It was a wrap, it was a done deal,
you know. So so, and then I end up kind
of I turned into a mama's boy a little bit.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
A little bit, I turned to a mama's boil a
little bit. There's a difference, mama's boy.

Speaker 7 (25:53):
Like, my personality has never been My personality has never
been spoiled, you know what I mean. My persone never
been entitled so like, I've never I've never had those
like And then you know, my family wouldn't allow that,
Like that's something that you know, just no, that wasn't
gonna be allowed, you know what I'm saying Now, I

(26:14):
will say this, I was my grandmother's favorite child or
so like.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
I didn't get in trouble with my grandparents.

Speaker 7 (26:21):
Like I'm the only I'm proud to say this too,
I have the only grandchild that never got a whooping
by my grandparents. I'm the only grandchild that has never
got whooped by my grandparents. So like like, but I
never did Like I said, I was never mischievous. I
never my mom would even co sign on that. S right, Nah,

(26:43):
he wasn't bad, he didn't. The biggest thing I got
in trouble for was leaving the block without letting them
know where I was. That would be like the worst
thing I probably would ever do is leave the the
you know what I'm saying, leave the block without letting
them know where I was. I would get in trouble
for that all the time because as a kid, you
so excited, you you know, with you with everybody, so

(27:07):
you're not like you don't think to run back to
the house and say, hey, I'm going.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
Three blocks over to go play over here.

Speaker 7 (27:13):
You know what I mean, You just kind of win.
So that'd be the worst thing I ever did, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
But I had.

Speaker 6 (27:21):
Checkpoints, checkpoints there was if I got in trouble in
the neighborhood, my parents knew about it before I got home.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Oh yeah, the neighborhood, the hood talk. Yeah, we had that.

Speaker 7 (27:37):
But my mother wanted to know where you were. Like
my mother was like, where you act? Yeah, you know
what I'm saying, Like she was one of those people,
where are you act? Like I don't want I don't
care who you was with, I care where you at now.

Speaker 6 (27:50):
They would call and they'll say, do you know Michelle
is over here?

Speaker 4 (28:01):
We have that we're gonna have to take a quick break,
but when we come back, we're gonna get into these
business relationships turned friendships.

Speaker 5 (28:11):
Turned friends with benefit relationships. So stick and.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
Stay y'all, we'll be right back. You are tuned into
relationship ology right here on JQLM Radio, a division of
Ego Entertainment Network.

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Speaker 5 (30:15):
Meet and Greek begins at five thirty.

Speaker 4 (30:16):
Doors open at five o'clock. Pictures will not be allowed
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(30:42):
and content every five, ten or fifteen minutes on air,
then check out JQLM Radio for the realist, rawest, and
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your days with a little bit of gospel and gospel
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Speaker 3 (31:03):
I never known you to fail.

Speaker 7 (31:11):
Because coming and bringing the damn with them, we cant
bringing it down.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
Man.

Speaker 5 (31:17):
Really didn't get into some hot R and B. What's
you doing?

Speaker 3 (31:26):
What you do?

Speaker 6 (31:27):
What? Some hip hop following indeed with Christian.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
Quick rind I was taking time.

Speaker 6 (31:45):
Oh what's up in the time?

Speaker 5 (31:50):
And I heard that a little bit of.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Pop and some neo sools for the rett of the day.
Jq LM Radios Real Wrong and Relatives. All right, and
we are back here on JQLM Radio. You are tuned

(32:16):
into relationship ology and we have a guest, Michelle Jones.

Speaker 5 (32:23):
We got a boy, Keith Omar, my co hosts, and we've.

Speaker 4 (32:25):
Been talking about well, first we were talking about family dynamics.
Then we got into how that impacted our relationships as
we got older. As far as romantic relationships are concerned.
Now let's get into these business relationships turned friendships. Sometimes
they go sour, sometimes they don't turn uh situationships f

(32:47):
WB's if y'all don't know what that is, expend with
friends with benefits. So, uh, we're just you know, for
the debut show, we touched on just a little bit
of everything, you know, just talking about the dynamics of them.
You know, weekly will be will pick an area in
the topic, of course and dig deep into it. But
so tell me, y'all when it comes to these business relationships,

(33:11):
So we know that it's difficult for people to keep
business and personal separate, especially if you're doing business with
a friend, or you go into business together with someone
that you're friends with, maybe somebody that you're in a
romantic relationship with. Honestly, I think that if they're a
really good friend, I mean, y'all can kill the game

(33:34):
in business. If you're with somebody who is dedicated to
not just the relationship, but it's dedicated to what it
is that you all are actually building together, that can
be awesome as well. But we know those things can
go sour, you know sometimes. So I know, for me personally,

(33:55):
I have I have gone into business with a couple
of people before and I've had things go sour. I
had things go really bad. I mean, some of you
may know the story with Ay radio station. I listen, Uh,
I don't know that stuff can be tricky.

Speaker 5 (34:16):
It can be real tricky if you're not careful.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
And I think when you go into business with people
or when you start a business relationship with somebody and
then it turns into personal because you're working with somebody
a lot, you get to know the person you know personally,
so you have to consider who they are as a
person as well as their ethics when it comes to business,

(34:39):
because who they are who they are as a person
also impacts you know, how they operate in business, and
I had.

Speaker 5 (34:48):
I learned that.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
I saw that firsthand when I first started the radio
station back in twenty sixteen, and you start to see
how that person's personal behavior still over into business.

Speaker 5 (35:03):
And if it's not.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
Conducive to you know what I'm saying, with your standards
and expectations and morals and values and beliefs are, then
it can be really bad for business and for you
and your brand.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
So I don't know what are your thoughts as.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
Far as business relationships, like, have you had any business
relationship that have gone amazing or things.

Speaker 5 (35:28):
That have felt or ones that have fallen apart.

Speaker 7 (35:34):
I've had some good business relationships, but I also would
like to, you know, make sure people understand the whole
idea of friends as well. I think too many people
call people friends but they actually are associates. So they
jump into business with these people and they think, you know,

(35:55):
because you can out, you can actually go out and
have a good time with these people that you know
you see out of eye on certain things.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
And then that translates to the business.

Speaker 7 (36:04):
No, because you'll have some people who are used to
being a boss, so they treat you like an employee
versus a business partner, you know what I'm saying. So
you have to understand, like you do, you really have
to understand. You have to understand who it is you're
dealing with, you know what I mean? Like like you

(36:25):
were saying, you have to understand the person because all
too often how they run a business is not the
idea of how you run a business, you know. So
I always say, if you're going to sit down with
anyone to do a business with them, what you need
to do is you need to all sit You need
to sit down and understand what are your strengths and

(36:45):
what are your weaknesses individually so you can understand what
it is that you need to play your role in.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
So if my role is let's say I.

Speaker 7 (36:54):
Was strong in finance, but I'm not as good as
a front person, and hey, I mightna handle all the
background stuff when it comes to the finance.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
And then I need you to, you know, go out here.

Speaker 7 (37:06):
And you need to speak to you know, you need
to speak to whoever it is you need to speak to,
you know, be representative of the company, because you're good
at you know, public speaking, or you're.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
Good at you know, you're good at you.

Speaker 7 (37:17):
Know, just people relations in general. So I've always been
pretty good with people relations stuff. I have a good credibility.
People know me, you know what I'm saying to be
honorable and always, you know, fight.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
To honor my word.

Speaker 7 (37:31):
If I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it.
If I can't, it's not because it was lack of effort.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
You know.

Speaker 7 (37:36):
And I think over thirty years of people knowing me,
they know that's just who I am, you know what
I'm saying. Like, it's hard, real hard to go out
here and find anybody that's willing to bad mouth for
me in any way, shape or form, because I'm consistent
with who it is. I've always been that. I get
that from my parents, especially my father. I've seen my

(37:58):
father operate as one person this whole entire life like,
and I take that the I didn't realize until I
became well, I say a little over thirty, how much
I've taken away from my parents. When about thirty came around,
I realized, like, yo, I'll run this.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
I'll run certain things like my dad.

Speaker 7 (38:22):
Well, I operate and think a lot like my mom
in a sense, like I never realized. It's never dawned
on me until you know, like thirty. Around thirty hit
then I realized it, like yo, I picked up a lot. Actually,
like I didn't realize, I was learning. You know these
habits right, So but I always tell people. I just say,

(38:43):
like I said, I always tell people, like you said,
make sure you you know who it is that you're
dealing with. But also you need to figure out, like
you know, what your strengths and weaknesses are.

Speaker 3 (38:53):
I think that's what makes the business successful.

Speaker 5 (38:56):
Awesome. What about you, Michelle, Well, although I have.

Speaker 6 (39:02):
My businesses, I have not gone into business with friends.
I have seen what it has done to people that
I know, especially individuals that were friends and then they
decided to add a sexual relationship to the mix, and

(39:23):
it did not bode well because when you mix when,
like he said, if you don't set those boundaries, those
ground rules and know what you're bringing to the table,
and understand what your role is in the business and
the other person's role is in the business. And then
you add a sexual relationship to it, and the sexual

(39:46):
relationship roles may be totally different than the roles that
are within the business. And so now you have conflict.
And one of the things that I've always been told
is you don't where you sleep where you mean, where

(40:07):
you do business, because it can mess with your bottom line.
It will impact the money that's going into that bank account,
because let's face it, if you're not securing who you are,
how you handle business after that will be destructive because

(40:28):
now you got to get back at them right.

Speaker 7 (40:33):
Also, to add to what Miss Michelle saying, it's another
another thing too. Once you start sleeping with your business partner,
what is up happening is at some point times, how
you treat your relationship is how you're going to treat
your business. So you feel like you can take advantage of,

(40:53):
you know, your partner because you have.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
The sexual relationship.

Speaker 7 (40:57):
So now you you might not mean to do it,
but you start to manipulate the situation so like, you know, hey,
I really don't feel like coming the end of the day,
or I don't like doing this today, I'm like doing
that today. Like so you you just kind of like, well,
I don't feel like it, so you know you could
deal with it today, like you know, No, it don't

(41:17):
work like that when it comes to business. You know
what I'm saying, You can't expect all like I tell
people all the time. You know, if you're work a
nine to five, do you do you go to work
for four hours and then leave and expt to get
paid for eight. So it can't you know, it can't
happen when you run a business. In fact, you should

(41:37):
expect to work eight hours and only get paid for
four right when you run a business.

Speaker 5 (41:43):
That's how it is.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
I think that's the difference between being friends first and
going into business versus being in a relationship and building
something together. So now I will say I have gone
into business. I do have business partners that I am
still friends with, and we shout out to right, she
hey girl, and we do uh, we do well.

Speaker 5 (42:09):
Uh in that.

Speaker 4 (42:10):
But I will say to let me just pause for
a second here, because we've touched on several types of
quote unquote ships. I think that for me, I get
to really truly grasp and see what it means to
really be in relationship with someone. I don't care what

(42:32):
kind of what what type of relationship it is, but
especially when it comes to relationships that impact you emotionally
and mentally. So anything pertaining with a quote unquote family,
whether it is a god orchestrated family, or it is
your relatives or romantic romantic relationships, and of course your kids,

(42:54):
but they would be in the family category.

Speaker 5 (42:56):
Those types of relationships, that is.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
Where you gain a true understanding of what it means
for teamwork. So people give up so easily when when
there's a dry spell or hardships or you know what
I'm saying, financial issues or whatever. If if the friendship

(43:24):
or a or somebody dies in the family or I
don't know, the man or the woman cheats or you know,
or they come on hard time following hard times because
maybe the guy lost his job or whatever the case
may be. People are so quick to if it doesn't
change in this amount of time, or if this person

(43:46):
doesn't this amount of time, or if this person doesn't
get over this and this amount of time, then I'm out,
Because clearly it's not gonna change. But here's the thing
that I want to that I see a lot of.
And I think, because I've endured so much, I have
a high tolerance for one understanding that nobody well, understanding

(44:08):
that nobody is perfect, making room for disappointment, giving people
the benefit of the doubt, extending grace where grace really
isn't shouldn't be given because I'm I'm What I'm saying
is equal to let's say what God gives us that
grace that other people, We want it, but we don't

(44:28):
like to extend it.

Speaker 5 (44:29):
We say, we know people aren't perfect.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
But when tragedy strikes, when hardship strikes, it's like, oh
I'm unhappy, so I'm I'm.

Speaker 5 (44:37):
Out or I'm not.

Speaker 4 (44:41):
Or I'm not feeling this no more, or the spark
is gone, or you know, we're not making so much
money in business, So I think we should just, you know,
you know, let's go our separate ways and dissolve this thing.
And you know what I'm saying that we can figure out.
I'm like, nothing worth having is gonna be easy. It's
going hard. It's going to be hard. And so when

(45:02):
I look at people in families, now I'm not saying
you stay in relationship with family and business and friends
and stuff like that. With people who are toxic, anybody
who's abusing you, misusing you, or you know what I'm saying,
talking down to you.

Speaker 5 (45:17):
That's one thing.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
But when you have people in your corner, and I'm
gonna just give y'all quick example, and you have somebody
like so I had the rupture brain in your realism.
Everybody knows that I have business friends who were waiting
on who were waiting on business services. They already paid
for those things. We had just opened up a building,
me and Rachie and you know, and my friend Jamain.

(45:38):
Now they could have decided to, you know, go their
separate ways, and you know, drag y'all.

Speaker 5 (45:46):
I didn't get what I needed. And you know what
I'm saying, that other kind of stuff. I don't pay
for this.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
But because of the relationship that I have people, because
of how I treated them, they waited until I came
back a year and a half. That goes to show, like,
how you treat people is important. A year and a half.
They waited on their own business. They're waiting to get
business services. There are plenty of people out here that

(46:10):
do what I do, plenty of people, but because of
the time and the effort that I put into that
they waited.

Speaker 5 (46:19):
I'm trying to figure out why.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
Is it so hard for us when it comes to
those types of relationships where it really hits emotionally and mentally.
Why is it so easy for us to walk away?

Speaker 6 (46:31):
I think it plays in with how you see yourself.
You can't give to other people what you don't give
to yourself, and so if you are not secure in
who you are and you haven't seen what a true
friendship looks like, and you don't know how to be

(46:52):
a good friend, then it's only about what you're getting
out of the relationship. And so if you are no
longer so and the way that I need for you
to serve me, then there's really no use for you
in my life. So I'm going to exit stage left
and go get what I feel like I need from

(47:15):
elsewhere because you're no longer in a position to meet
my need or to give me what it is that
I say I want. And I think that's a lot
of times what our problems are. Because I deal with
clients all the time, and there are clients that I
turn away because we're not a good fit. And I'm

(47:37):
good with that. I know there's people that when they
talk to me, they might say, I don't want to
deal with Michelle. That's cool. I would rather do it
upfront and be done with it and send you the
nice little thank you for the time. But we're not
a good fit. You don't meet my vision, my purpose,

(47:57):
nor my values for my company at this time and
allow them to go somewhere else. We don't do that
because we want to be on the end. We want
Lady Jay is the end right now. I need to
be seen with her. I need to be where she's at.
I need for people to know that I'm connected to
her because me being connected to her is going to

(48:19):
open some doors for me. So as long as I
play this game, then I'm going to be able to
get what I need from her. But when she is
no longer in a position to be that door opener.

Speaker 5 (48:32):
For me, that's it.

Speaker 6 (48:34):
I need to go find somebody else to replace her
that is going to be able to get me before
those people and get me in those doors that I
can't get myself in.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
That's it. That's it.

Speaker 7 (48:47):
I was going to say the exact same thing, I
have titles for those. So the thing is people don't
have business relationships anymore, they have business userships. There it is,
and what it is is you're using people you know
to get to where to get to that next plateau
versus building a relationship with them to where you'll never

(49:10):
fall like. It always puzzles me when especially I'm going
to say amongst us as black people more than anything else,
we'll run a black business, so you'll get a black business.
Let's say you, you know, you open your business within
three years and you knock it out the park.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Like you knock it out the park to where you
are now considered.

Speaker 7 (49:31):
In your profession as one of the best to do
whatever it is that you do within a three year
time spind And like you said, Lady J, it might
be a whole bunch of people that do what you do,
but you're considered one of the best. And now since
you consider what the best, what happens is a lot
of people are scared that they will lose that title,

(49:53):
so they don't want to help anyone else who's coming
up behind them to get to where they're at. Hey, man,
I did I did that? Hey you need to read
these are certain resources that you need to get into.
They won't do that. What they'll do is, man, I
just worked hard and you know, I put my nose
in the ground, so and I just believe and I
prayed about it.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
That's okay.

Speaker 7 (50:15):
We all do that, but you're not sharing how you
did that, what you know.

Speaker 6 (50:20):
That your knowledge.

Speaker 7 (50:23):
But see this is but see this is the thing
you only get for your knowledge if you allow it.

Speaker 6 (50:30):
There's does that be to the door?

Speaker 5 (50:36):
Now?

Speaker 3 (50:37):
Right? I get that, But like I said, you got
to allow it though.

Speaker 7 (50:41):
You have to first of all. Can't nobody do something
to you that you won't allow?

Speaker 3 (50:50):
Yeah? Yeah, I got that. Absolutely. Those are leeches, that's
what I call them.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
Yeah, definitely. When it comes to business, that's one. That's
that's aspect of it too. Now when you talk about family,
they they take advantage to you.

Speaker 5 (51:05):
Because it's like oh absolutely, it's.

Speaker 4 (51:07):
Like, oh, well she should be all right, you know what
I'm saying, or he'll be all right, Like.

Speaker 5 (51:14):
When it comes to uh, when it comes to uh.

Speaker 4 (51:17):
Your kids, for instance, they like, oh, shoot, ma, mama,
she you know what I'm saying. I you know, I
probably just get it whipping her get on you know,
saying you don't punished over you that's okay, Mama ain't
never going nowhere? If what happens when uh, what happens
when daddy leaves or you know what I'm saying, or
Mama ain't here no more? Maybe, And then when it

(51:37):
comes to romantic relationships, it's like, well, oh, they gonna
forgive me, you know what I'm saying, or or well
it's or it could be you know, pointing out this
person's flaws all the time and not appreciating the grace
that they continue to extend you, and you not really
addressing your own flaws, you know what I'm saying, so

(51:59):
and taking your taking advantage and so that kind of
that that when people operate that way across all of
those different types of of you know, platforms when it
comes to relationships, and it's like I think that this
is this is good.

Speaker 5 (52:15):
We're gonna have to get into this to it.

Speaker 4 (52:20):
About this, okay, because I'm these last two years I
have learned a lot about about extending grace to people
and loving on people who don't love you back in
that same regard, or or extending grace to people and
appreciating people's business or connection or relationship and they don't

(52:45):
extend that same thing to you. It hurts when you
have been called to serve others and to love others
in spite of.

Speaker 5 (52:55):
How they overlook you, how they walk away from you.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
That is yep, but very hurtful.

Speaker 5 (53:03):
But people do it in all of those types of relationships.

Speaker 7 (53:08):
The thing is, Lady J. Well, I've learned out of
that is this. I had this car.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
It's funny.

Speaker 7 (53:13):
I have this converts job, like almost a month ago,
and I said, I understand that I am a better
fan to most than they are to me. I know
that going into it, and I'm fine with it. Though
like it used to.

Speaker 3 (53:29):
Bother me, don't bother me no more. The reason why
don't bother me no more is at the end of
the day, I'm happy with who it is that I am. Now.

Speaker 7 (53:37):
That don't mean I'm going to allow them to abuse
me and overuse me. That don't mean I'm going to
allow that I am going to You know that means
I just need to be more strict and stern on
how much of me that they're going to have access
to exact you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
That's what that means to me.

Speaker 7 (53:56):
So like I've learned this in the past, probably like
out of seven years of Okay, well, there's certain there's
certain friends that I have that will run through a
door for me just like I would for them. There's
certain people that will extend themselves in the same measure
they might extend. They might not extend themselves the same way,

(54:19):
but they'll extend themselves in the same measure as I
would like you. You know, there's things that you also
have to learn about yourself, like hey, you know you
are too giving to this particular person because you sympathize
and empathize with.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
Them too much, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (54:36):
Or there's some that you don't do enough for, like
you get So that's all a part of, you know,
creating a boundary.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Like I try my best to.

Speaker 7 (54:48):
As far as my business go, I try my best
to be keep everybody on the same level. And the
reason why is because if I do that, may I
can't say I extended myself so far for this particular
person but not for that one. You know, if they
all on the same level, they all have the same

(55:10):
expectations of me, you know what I'm saying, Like you know,
but there there's also some people that you know, you're
just gonna do more for. I don't care who that is.
Like Mama call you, You're gonna do more for Mama.
Let's just call it for what it is.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (55:25):
You know, your very best friend, they call you, you
just gonna do more for them. You're gonna make sure
your services is a little more on point, for a
little less. That's this is calling for what it is,
you know. But outside of that circle, you know what
I'm saying, everyone is on the same level. And I
think you know, when it comes to your friendships, it's
also a little different too. Like I was talking to
my best friend like two weeks ago about this and

(55:48):
I was telling her.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
I was like, yo, you know, she got on me.

Speaker 7 (55:52):
One time about the word about how I how I
display myself with someone, so like this, this is a story.
This is so funny. I laugh about it now. But
they all are on board with me now. They thought
I was being mean then, but they're on board with
me now. So I was I was at I happened

(56:14):
to run into a friend from college, and she's a
true She's truly a friend and we happen to see
another person from college and their boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
Then they kind of want, you know, kind of you
know how you see people like, hey, we ain't see
y'all forever, you know. So we have this conversation.

Speaker 5 (56:32):
Before before you.

Speaker 4 (56:34):
Let's plug real quick for for all the radio listeners.
On radio listeners, let's plug for them, so we can
close that for them. We can continue on social media
right right, right, right right for how they can follow
you and connect with you.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Keith, all right, so you.

Speaker 7 (56:47):
Can follow me at Keith Omarre and Jackson on Facebook.
You can follow me on Keing Keith Omar on Instagram.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
I just started TikTok.

Speaker 7 (56:57):
I haven't even made a TikTok yet, but but I'll
get got pumping. I'll make sure I start putting that
out there. But those are two avenues you can follow me.
Of course, you can follow me here so you know
every Friday night you can catch us.

Speaker 5 (57:08):
See all right, Michelle, you.

Speaker 6 (57:11):
Can catch me on Facebook. I'm Michelle P. Jones. I'm
on Instagram as Michelle Faresa. That's p h A r
E s A. And on TikTok, I'm Michelle Faresa. And
then of course, you can always hit me up on
my website with any contacts at www dot Michelle p
as In, Paul Jones dot com awesome.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
And you go to LADYJ dot co and you can
connect with me on all social media platforms, all the
different brands there everything LADYJ dot co. And shout out
to Jacob Alexander. Make sure you go get his new
music at Jacob Alexander Music.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
Right.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
His song is the intro song for Relationship on the show.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
Right j q l M.

Speaker 4 (57:55):
Radio listeners we have, we're almost at fifty thousand listeners
for this month and it's fourteenth of January.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
We appreciate these people too.

Speaker 4 (58:07):
Okay, So now that we have to jake you all
already listeners out the way, we.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Are knocked out right there, you.

Speaker 5 (58:14):
Can continue your story for social.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Media, all right. So the so this is the story.
So the you know, my friend and the young lady that.

Speaker 7 (58:22):
I'm gonna I'm gonna say, she's in a social the
associate and her boyfriend walks up. So we're talking. She
goes to introduce me and she said, oh, this is
my friend.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
Oh Mark.

Speaker 7 (58:34):
I was like wait a minute. I was like, I
wouldn't say, we're necessarily friends, and so like the you know,
of course, the wide I kind of happened like, oh
wait a minute, you know what I'm saying. I was like,
you know, I would, I would say associates. I was like, now,
I don't mean I said, I don't mean any disrespect
or or you know, black on this.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
I was like, I just don't use the word friend loosely.

Speaker 7 (58:59):
I was like, for example, if we were friends, what's
my son's name? You know what I'm saying. Like she
don't know that. I was like, you know, we're friends.
Do you have my phone number? You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
Like, I was like, so, I just don't I don't
use it loosely.

Speaker 7 (59:20):
I was like, we're associates, though, anytime I see her,
I'm gonna say hi and give her a hug and
wish and well wish is that we you know, do
a little small ketchup and that be that, and so
like she kind of you could see her feeling was
almost hurt. But her boyfriend, he understood exactly what I
was talking about. So he was like, I get it.

Speaker 3 (59:42):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (59:43):
I totally get what you're saying. He's like, that would
be like people I work with. I've been at my
job for seventeen years. I know these people, but I
wouldn't call them friends, you know, like we don't hang
out out the work. Half of them don't more than
half of them don't have my phone number. Hell, I
be some while I said, half of them knew my
last name. But I've been there seventeen years, you know

(01:00:04):
what I'm saying. So he totally understood where I was
coming from. So my best friend, as I was telling
her the story before, she was like, you was being
a butthole. I was like, no, I wasn't. I was like,
like she was kind of like defending her, and I
was like, okay, dadda. If I was being a butto
let's just call it for what it is.

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
I wasn't. I was like, let me explain. So you
mean to tell me.

Speaker 7 (01:00:29):
She is a level or two right underneath you and
she ain't got my phone up or no, my son's
last name, her first name. And she was like, all right,
I understand what you're saying.

Speaker 3 (01:00:41):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 7 (01:00:42):
Like I get it, okay, Like you know, you have
to put things in a raw perspective. Sometimes and I
was like, so I don't use that word free and
loosely at all, Like not at all. I tell people
the heartbreak Like, I don't either introduce people as friends.
I just introduced them.

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
I Hey, this is so and so that's what I
was gonna say.

Speaker 6 (01:01:02):
I would be like, if it's somebody that I'm really
close to, this is my girl or this is my guy.
I don't even friend. I don't even use people start
thinking that there's liberties and opportunities and things that come
in termology, you know, and I don't. I don't do that.

(01:01:25):
But one of the things that I have found, just
from what you said, and that's why I did like
this to you, just from what you said, her face
was busted because she was pretended.

Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
Well, I don't think she's pretending.

Speaker 7 (01:01:40):
I think what happens is society has made it so
acceptable to just use that title for her love or omark.

Speaker 6 (01:01:49):
Not so much anymore, not so much because they will
throw out the word associate quicker than they will the
word friend.

Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
Not anymore seeing business, because they always say, hey, this
is my associate, but this is a worker. When you
when you are working with somebody and you're introducing them
as a friend, you really think that you on that
level with that birs.

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
That's different. If it's different if you met.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
Somebody at the club while you know what I'm saying,
he was out with your boys or you while you
was out with your dud or whatever the case may be.
Or we met somebody at church or at the gas
station and y'all just was, you know, chopping it up,
you know, getting to know each other, you know, and
y'all developed a friend. Or still if you if you're
if they don't like have your number or have ever

(01:02:36):
been to your house or something, you probably STI wouldn't
consider them a friend. But when you are introducing people
that you work with just because you've been working with
them for a long time, you actually then start to
see yourself as that person's friend, even though you're really
just an associate.

Speaker 5 (01:02:50):
And because there are people who have who I who
have known me for I'm thirty eight thirty eight.

Speaker 6 (01:03:03):
Had to think.

Speaker 4 (01:03:03):
About my head and it's literal okay, uh, thirty eight
years old. There are people who have known me my
entire life but treated me like I'm just somebody you
just met.

Speaker 5 (01:03:19):
And then there are people.

Speaker 4 (01:03:20):
Who have just met me, and they are much better
to me than those people who have known me my
entire life. So the length of time that you know
somebody has absolutely nothing to do with nothing of friendship.
Whether you're a friendship or whether you're a friend or
an associate. It's all about when you are building a
relationship with somebody. That requires quality time consistently and communication.

Speaker 5 (01:03:46):
And communicating quality time to consideration.

Speaker 4 (01:03:53):
And it requires a level of again of grace, huh.
It requires a level of forgiveness because mess up, you
have to make room for disappointment. They're gonna disappoint you,
disappoint them. The thing is to look at the overall.
We always say let's look at the person's behavior. That's wrong.

(01:04:16):
I think that's all right. You need to look at
the person's heart and their spirit. That will tell you
who they truly are. Anybody that is consistent and consistent
and willing to better themselves for themselves and for your relationship,
it's always somebody that you should keep it.

Speaker 5 (01:04:38):
That's somebody that you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:41):
If you if you throw away people like that because
you're you know what I'm saying, you mad at them
for something more, just because you're mad at them for
for a little bit, or y'all not cool for a while,
y'all got a little down stout.

Speaker 5 (01:04:54):
You know, you known fell out y'all. You know you're
not able to come to come to grips with you
know what I'm saying, what's going on?

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
I mean, that's when you that's instead of just walking
away or throwing the person away and throwing away like
what y'all done, worked hard, you know what I'm saying,
to build together and you know, whether that be business
friends I've been friends with twenty five years. You know
what I'm saying. You've been in a relationship y'all. You know,
have been through everything or whatever. That's when you bring
in somebody else, like a counselor or something, because some

(01:05:23):
things are too hard to get through by yourself. Or
if you it's a circle of friends, you got the
other friend come in and on your part you say
your people. People feel like they don't have to do that.
And in the workplace, a lot of places, especially corporations,
have they give you access ors included in your package

(01:05:45):
where you can actually get those services and it's included
in your in your benefits, but we don't take advantage
of those things. That's I said, we we we throw
away good things looking for better things when you can,
you have.

Speaker 6 (01:06:00):
Also think about it, and in regards to sometimes the
season of that relationship has come to an end, the
expiration date has come and gone.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
Still try.

Speaker 6 (01:06:15):
Because you are so used to having this person in
your life, or they they have been good to you
or whatever. But the it's what I normally say, and
I've had probably within the last three years, my inner
circle has gotten really really small. It's really really small.

(01:06:36):
And one of the reasons is because I truly believe
people come into our lives for a moment a season,
and some people are our lifetime. Is our responsibility to
know when they are to leave. And then, just the
same way as we don't drink spoiled milk, don't keep
subjecting yourself to expired relationship because then that person is

(01:07:02):
going to take advantage of the situation and you'll be
the one that gets hurt.

Speaker 5 (01:07:07):
This is true.

Speaker 4 (01:07:07):
This is why I said to look at the person's
heart and their spirit versus versus their.

Speaker 5 (01:07:14):
Or their behavior.

Speaker 4 (01:07:15):
Because when you look at a person's heart, their spirit,
that is what determines whether or not that is somebody
you should keep or let go. And what I'm saying
is a lot of times society has us this uh
in this quitting quitting people, you know, uh mentality, cancel culture, Yeah,
cancel culture. That we're canceling and walking away from the

(01:07:39):
wrong people. Like I said, That's why I said, anybody
that is willing and it's consistent in constantly bettering themselves
in the relationship, that's somebody that you need to commit
to continuing in a relationship because that is rare. It is,
it is rare days. And anybody that is not, those

(01:07:59):
are the people that you need to walk away from.
Those are the people that you need to distance yourself from.
Those are the people that you need to you know
what I'm saying, remove from your circle. And that's what
I'm starting to see. Of course I know that from
my own personal experience, but that's all I'm starting to
see because everybody just canceling. Everybody, Ah you did this,
Oh yeah, now you cut. You know what I'm saying,

(01:08:19):
you cut? You know what I'm saying. Even in relationship,
I can't tell you how many people, how many people
I know, especially to one of my.

Speaker 5 (01:08:29):
A person that I've known a long time.

Speaker 4 (01:08:30):
Let's just say that they messed up in their relationship
and thought that like, oh, they cut the person off
or whatever, and went on felt like they could do
better and then realized later on you gotta relate revelation
that you contributed to this as well, and just because

(01:08:53):
it wasn't it didn't happen the way. It didn't happen
in the time that she wanted it to, had you
stayed in commit in that thing. Because what we forget
is we're human. Nobody's gonna be happy one hundred percent
of the time. Nobody's gonna be You're not gonna be
pleased one hundred percent of the time.

Speaker 3 (01:09:10):
Time.

Speaker 4 (01:09:10):
Some of the storms that friends go through, it could
be an illness, you know what I'm saying. It could
be following out whatever and businesses you got furloughs, you
got people getting laid off, or you got the hybrid
hybrid work days.

Speaker 5 (01:09:25):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
Relationships hit hit dry spells and stuff, and that could
last a year, it could last to two years.

Speaker 5 (01:09:32):
But what are you doing actively doing together.

Speaker 4 (01:09:37):
And apart individually for yourself and together to work on
that to make sure because once when you see that
and you know it's something worth keeping, then you should
do the work. It ain't supposed to be easy all
the time. It ain't gonna beeple just agreeing out of time.
But so that's especially during COVID, like everybody just canceling.

(01:09:58):
Everybody like y'all need to get it together out here,
like get it together because.

Speaker 5 (01:10:07):
Miserable.

Speaker 3 (01:10:12):
I agree, I agree.

Speaker 7 (01:10:16):
I think it's I think it's funny though, but like
like you said, because so also often, you know, we
are cutting people off too early, and then also often
we're keeping some people around. This should have been cut up,
you know what I'm saying. And I think it's because
a lot of it is you're loyal that you are

(01:10:38):
just a loyal person. So you want to be loyal
to who've ever been around for any kind of longevity
to you, Like I found myself in that relationship with
somebody and I have to cut them off.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
I cut them off because they actually started to reflect
on me, like.

Speaker 7 (01:10:56):
You know, even though that wasn't my program and that
wasn't my thing, but because I hung tight with that person,
and everybody knows me to be with that person, like
you know, we Batman and Robin almost anytime you see them. No,
I'm not probably not too far away, and vice versa.
So I've actually had people tell me, yo, you know,
I fell back off you because of that person. Oh word, yeah,

(01:11:20):
so like I got when I realized, Yo, that person's
actions is starting to you know, hindle my relationships with people.
I can't I can't allow that. I gotta let you
go because I'm responsible. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:11:37):
I'm responsible for I am responsible. I always look at that.
It like this, if I am not the reason.

Speaker 7 (01:11:44):
Why people are looking at me, sour, I need to.

Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
Look at why are people looking at me sour?

Speaker 7 (01:11:53):
You know if I'm not the reason, because I've had
people tell me it wasn't true. It's just that, I know,
you align yourself with that particular person or that particular thing. Okay,
that means that you know, that means not outgrown it.
It's time to move on there you go, It's time
to move on.

Speaker 6 (01:12:10):
That express and it's time to release.

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
Something and let them go. Yep, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:12:16):
And like, still, what's funny is this person's family, Like,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:12:21):
So I still wish the best for them.

Speaker 7 (01:12:24):
But when I say we don't talk, I could see
that person walking through Walmart and we literally when I
speak to each other, we'll walk right by.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
Each other like nothing happened.

Speaker 7 (01:12:34):
And it's and my thing is, hey, you know, if
that's how we need to conduct ourselves, that's fine by me.

Speaker 3 (01:12:39):
I wish you well. You know what I'm saying. I
love the kids. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:12:43):
I love the rest of the family. I still love
that person. I wish them well.

Speaker 3 (01:12:47):
But I understand how we have to conduct ourselves. You
know what I'm saying. I get it. I understand it,
and I'm better off for it.

Speaker 7 (01:12:55):
You know what I'm saying from a distance, for your
own absolutely emotional.

Speaker 6 (01:13:00):
And mental health. It has absolutely to do with anything else,
you know. But sometimes you gotta choose you. You gotta
choose you in the midst of the situation because sometimes
their toxic abilities to be who they are it is

(01:13:25):
killing you and it's keeping you from becoming all that
you were intended to be. And so I have people
and I have family members that I love them from
a distance, Okay, because I can't put myself in I
can't put myself in that type of relationship with you

(01:13:47):
because it's not healthy.

Speaker 3 (01:13:49):
For me m hm. And so I have in the.

Speaker 6 (01:13:54):
Midst of those situations, and every time, trust me, I'm
gonna choose Michell.

Speaker 4 (01:14:01):
I think the next show, I think we need to
dig more into what it means to really discern those
things and how to maneuver between those things, because I
think a lot of you said sometimes it's difficult to know, uh,
what to hold on to and what to let them
love because oftentimes we associate hardship and I hope people

(01:14:25):
are listening to what you were saying, but we associate
hardship or difficulty or unhappiness with things we need to
let go of, and that it should be things that
you are toxic, things, things that you've outgrown, things that
you those are things you need to let go of.

Speaker 5 (01:14:44):
Things that are are doing are no benefits.

Speaker 7 (01:14:48):
We should we should call that show. We should we
should call that show the difference between the tests versus
being toxic.

Speaker 5 (01:14:57):
Hmmm. Oh that's good. That's good.

Speaker 6 (01:14:59):
That's good.

Speaker 5 (01:15:00):
That's that's real good.

Speaker 7 (01:15:03):
That's what we should go because a lot of a
lot of times we're going through this test to see
if we are built for each other. Like you know, hey,
we might be going through this turmoil right now, but
if we make it through that turmoil, that means, hey,
you know what we do for each other, you know
what I'm saying. Versus if you're ready to run, that
might be toxic. You know what I'm saying there.

Speaker 4 (01:15:25):
So it's a testament I tell you now this Now,
y'all know I don't took my horn at all for me,
but I'm gonna tell you now when it comes to
being somebody who can get through a test, somebody who
can forgive, somebody who can love the things you know,
love somebody through hell to you know, some of the

(01:15:49):
worst things.

Speaker 5 (01:15:50):
Oh, I'm I come in first place? Do you hear me?
First place?

Speaker 3 (01:15:54):
I feel you?

Speaker 5 (01:15:55):
If I know? Let me tell you.

Speaker 4 (01:15:58):
I think if you are a person who has been
thrown away your entire life, and that would be me
by your parents, you know what I'm saying. By family,
people who are supposed to get people are supposed to
love you, people who have mistreated, misused and abused you verbally, sexually, physically.
You know what I'm saying emotionally, If that's all that's
all I know my entire life, that is all I know.

(01:16:21):
I am thirty eight years old, and I have yet
to to you know what I'm saying, to even to
do somebody away, but to even grasp consistently what it
is that I give what it is like, I don't

(01:16:41):
think people really understand what it means to get through
a testing turmoil together, Like that's that's.

Speaker 6 (01:16:50):
Show those relationships.

Speaker 3 (01:16:56):
Social media.

Speaker 6 (01:16:57):
Yeah, I got married and I asked my mother. I said, Mom,
what was one life lesson that you learned during your
marriage that you can share with me? And she said,
never start doing anything that you're not willing to continue doing.

Speaker 3 (01:17:16):
Ooh yep. Got asked her.

Speaker 6 (01:17:20):
I said, why did you and dad stay together until
he passed away? She said, simply put with a straight face,
because neither one of us was willing to leave.

Speaker 4 (01:17:34):
And see, people don't go into go into relationships that
mindset when you let's why, I said, when you know
fear in a heart, it's like, as long as you
for me personally, it's like, as long as you don't
put your hands on me, if you're not a liar,
and if you're not cheating, I don't care what it
is that.

Speaker 5 (01:17:54):
That comes our way. We're gonna deal with it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:57):
I may be hurt, it may take me a minute
to get over it, but trust and believe I'm gonna
do my part and going through the steps to heal
from it. I might not always get I might not
always react the right way while I'm hurting.

Speaker 5 (01:18:09):
I might not respond the right way while I'm hurting.

Speaker 4 (01:18:12):
But if you were willing to go through it with me,
you willing to get go to counseling with me, you
willing to talk through me, walk through me, I'm gonna
keep doing my part. You know what I'm saying, And
I don't care what is as long as them three things,
them the only three things. That's the kick that will
will you know what I'm saying, get get you, get
you your exit papers.

Speaker 7 (01:18:33):
It's so funny because like I remember having a show
like this kound Of on this topic and I had
like couples on and I have people who've been in
relationship like single people as well. We was talking about
this and I was like, you know what, there's so
many people that say they're a fighter, but it seems
like when they fight, they lose. And that's the problem,

(01:18:56):
because you know, your fight ain't that strong, Like you
don't have to fight, they endure the unendurable, like you
don't even want to say. I was like, and the
reason why is because we live in this microwave stage
of life, you know, And I'll say that all the time,
where people want stuff instant.

Speaker 3 (01:19:13):
They don't want to you know, they don't want to
really build nothing. They don't want to go through the
struggle and strike.

Speaker 7 (01:19:18):
And and that's why when I mentioned social media, you know,
people can be what they want to be on social media.
That's why it kind of scares me with the middle
the middle world a little bit, you know what I'm saying,
because I know it's gonna get out of hand for
some folks, like they're not they're gonna have identity crisis
because you know, they're going to be this and there,
but in real life they're gonna be who they really

(01:19:39):
are and they're not gonna know how to separate it too,
you know what I'm saying. That's a whole other show though,
But I just think, you know, people don't fight for
stuff no more like man like I think about like,
we did a show on Purpose Driven one time and
me MEI wasn't me Me wasn't on the show that's enough.
Other cause another show, and it was The Fellas. I

(01:20:02):
don't know if y'all seen that show a couple of
years ago. I brought the whole crew onto the show.
We was absent to people because they couldn't get away
from work to do the show with us. But us six,
we've been together for over thirty years, US six have
we have a dynamic that can't no but like it's

(01:20:24):
too special, Like I am so fortunate that God decide
to place these five individuals in my life. Like these dudes, man,
we help, We help grow each other up, We help
grow groom each other into men, you know, Like it's
just it marvels me every time I think about what
I got with them. And we hold each other accountable.

(01:20:46):
And what I mean by we hold each other accountable,
You got to put your feet to the fire sometimes,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:20:53):
And I tell people.

Speaker 7 (01:20:54):
All the time, like it ain't you know, it ain't
for the faint of heart. Like there's sometimes like and
we've had our fights at arguments and you know, stuff
like that through thirty years.

Speaker 3 (01:21:06):
It ain't always being kumbaya.

Speaker 7 (01:21:09):
But you know what I'm saying, We've always been able
to come right back to the circle.

Speaker 3 (01:21:12):
You know what I'm saying, Like, Okay, you know we
gotta be held accountable.

Speaker 7 (01:21:17):
You know what I'm saying. Then sometimes we all know
who we on some BS two Like y'all tell people
this all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:21:23):
I am. I call BS on me.

Speaker 7 (01:21:27):
I literally call BS on me before anybody else can,
Because if I do that means you there's nothing that
you can expose on me. I've already done that. You
can't expose me for nothing. I already done that. So
if I can call BS on me, what makes you
think I ain't gonna call it on you. I tell
people that all the time, and it was funny and

(01:21:50):
people know it. People have seen me call BS on
myself in public.

Speaker 3 (01:21:57):
I've been on already, y'ah. Come on, we've been it's
searching for a while.

Speaker 7 (01:22:01):
Y'all have seen me on on radio shows called call
my BS out. You know what I'm saying, lot right,
That's what I'm saying. So I called out, I call
BS on me. You know what I'm saying. So if
I'm gonna call BS on me, what makes you think
ain't gonna call it on you? I'm glod? So like
we people know. If you that close to me, I'm

(01:22:23):
gonna hold you accountable, just like I expect you to
hold me accountable.

Speaker 4 (01:22:28):
Chances I don't like to be held account They don't
want that. They want to point out your flaws.

Speaker 6 (01:22:34):
But they don't want you to point out there.

Speaker 5 (01:22:37):
Or it's always like I'm not gonna.

Speaker 3 (01:22:40):
Do factic that's the killer.

Speaker 4 (01:22:42):
Or it's like I'm not gonna And here's the thing too,
here's what I don't like. Don't do not enter into
a relationship with somebody and you have conditional thinking. If
I have to meet an for you to love me,
if I have to meet a condition for you to
feel like I'm worth the fight, if I have to.

Speaker 5 (01:22:58):
Meet a condition for you to to you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:23:01):
I don't want that kind of I need something unconditional
because what I'm gonna give is unconditional because I.

Speaker 5 (01:23:07):
Know that with my me, with my uh flawed.

Speaker 4 (01:23:12):
Self, you know what I'm saying, and ratchet self and
in perfect self, I'm gonna mess up to I'm I'm
going to say the wrong thing sometime. I'm going to
And here's the thing too about me, because I'm upfront
where everybody with people, this.

Speaker 5 (01:23:29):
This and this is my past, this is why I
do this.

Speaker 4 (01:23:32):
I'm still working on this and these are so you
know up front whether or not you want to move
forward or not. This ain't understand that I'm gonna work
in progress. And you'll never see me being stuck because
the thirty eight year old me, I'm not the same
as I was at twenty.

Speaker 5 (01:23:52):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:23:53):
So if you, if you, if you hurt me, some
things I can get over a little quicker. But some things,
if you, if you hurt me to my car, that's
gonna take some time.

Speaker 5 (01:24:05):
That's gonna take a little longer.

Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
And you know it's funny.

Speaker 7 (01:24:10):
You know, right, But people, you know what the funny
thing is now, people are quick to run after they
mess up.

Speaker 5 (01:24:19):
Whoa.

Speaker 3 (01:24:21):
People are quick to run after they mess up.

Speaker 7 (01:24:24):
And I and you know what, and I know why.
I was telling my cousin TJ.

Speaker 3 (01:24:29):
This.

Speaker 7 (01:24:29):
Me and him was having this conversation and we were
talking about an individual that I was telling you all
about that I don't really mess with no more so
because he has the same falling out with that individual
as well. And he asked me a question, like you know,
like to an extent, like why you know, like that person,
you know, like they don't want to mess with you

(01:24:50):
because but they don't want to mess up.

Speaker 3 (01:24:52):
And I was like, I'm gonna explain why.

Speaker 7 (01:24:54):
Because they know damn well that if you did that
to them, they wouldn't mess with you.

Speaker 5 (01:25:02):
What you said, exactly what you said everything, If.

Speaker 7 (01:25:06):
You did it to them, they wouldn't mess with you.
So that's the reason why they're leaving you alone because
they know they have messed up to a point of
where either themselves they wouldn't accept.

Speaker 3 (01:25:15):
So they now feel like I need to step off.

Speaker 4 (01:25:18):
That's also why I think some people won't acknowledge the
progress that you've made after they mess up and forgiving you.
How are they still here? How can you still stand it?
How are they still my friend? You know what I'm saying,
Because they don't they can't really grasp and understand that
there are really people out here that have reached that level.

(01:25:38):
One thing that my uncle used to tell me, well,
he gave me some advice when I got married the
first time.

Speaker 5 (01:25:43):
He said, he said, Queena, that he's the.

Speaker 4 (01:25:46):
Only one in my family out of all my grandma's
kids now she had fifteen kids. Nine made it to adulthood,
and out of all of them, he's the only one
that stayed married.

Speaker 5 (01:25:56):
He said, never go to bed angry. Yeah, because you
never know.

Speaker 3 (01:26:01):
What's gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (01:26:03):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:26:03):
And I just lived at you. One minute, you one minute,
you hear the next minute you're facing death.

Speaker 5 (01:26:09):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:26:09):
Uh, he said, never go to bed angry. And he said,
never let a man And he was talking to me.
She sa a female. He was like, you never let
a man tell you that he want you more than once.
And he said uh. And he said, also forgive often.

(01:26:30):
He's like, because you're gonna have to do that a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:26:32):
Forgive often.

Speaker 4 (01:26:33):
And then my grandmother she taught me from I think
the earliest I remember is like a five years old.
She used to always sit down and have me sit down.
She would read her word. There's now one day went
by that I didn't see my grandmother. As soon as
she got up in the mornings, she would start her
day on her knees, and then she would come to
the table with her coffee and toast with her Bible.

Speaker 5 (01:26:52):
She would always read and I asked.

Speaker 4 (01:26:54):
Her what she was reading this when she started teaching
about the word, and one lesson she used to give
me all the time was treat others as you want
to be treated. Do unto others issues would have them
do unto you, And I never understood. And then as
I got older, she said, Twita. Now I told y'all
my family nickname. You don't know me like that. But anyway,

(01:27:23):
she said, even when you do unto others as you
would have them do unto you, they're not going to
treat you that way, but you still do unto others
as you would have them do unto you. And I
couldn't grasp that until I got older. I started to
understand what that meant. When you go above and beyond,
when you stick with, when you are loyal to, when

(01:27:46):
you forgive, when you ex seeing grace, when you do
all of these things for people that don't appreciate show gratitude.

Speaker 5 (01:27:54):
You know what I'm saying. Are still with you? You
still do that.

Speaker 4 (01:28:00):
But I learned that even when you do that and
they don't, you still reap what you saw.

Speaker 5 (01:28:06):
So you read the benefits.

Speaker 3 (01:28:08):
Yeap, yes, yep.

Speaker 7 (01:28:11):
And it's funny you say, you know about the word.
My father used to have my father used to always
say this when he do sermons, and like before he
started the summer or even after, he would say, it's
not because I've been so good that I'm here, It's
because God has been so merciful. And as a young
you know, as a child growing up, because like I said,

(01:28:31):
wherever my father went, I was there, like we revivals,
whatever it was, wherever he.

Speaker 3 (01:28:37):
Went, I was there like I was a daddy's boy career.

Speaker 7 (01:28:40):
Like, and he would say it all the time, and
I would I would think, and I would try to,
you know, grasp my mind around it.

Speaker 3 (01:28:48):
And I did not.

Speaker 7 (01:28:49):
Get it until I was about twenty six or twenty
seven when it really hit me, like, oh, so what was.

Speaker 3 (01:28:57):
Funny about that? Was?

Speaker 7 (01:28:59):
I was like, you know, so all this time my
father has been saying this and I haven't. I haven't
understood it, but I've been living it, you know, and
I just it just you know, it speaks value of
you know, how you were brought up, and like we
were talking about, you know, from the I'm just going

(01:29:19):
back to the beginning where we were earlier, when we
start to show of you know, how your parents reflect
on you or how your upbringing reflects on you, and
you never really truly understand it until you get to
a certain age where now you're starting to reflect on
your children or people around you, you know, And it

(01:29:40):
just it amazes me because now now I look at
my child. I look at my son, he's sixteen, and
I look at some of the things that he pick
up from me, or he's picked up from.

Speaker 3 (01:29:51):
My father or my mother or his mother, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (01:29:54):
And I look at some of these things he's picked up,
and I'm like, you know, we mold your person even
though you are you, but a lot of who you are.

Speaker 3 (01:30:03):
Is from what you've seen. And like what my son
is not a.

Speaker 7 (01:30:09):
He's not a confrontational child, but just like me, he
don't mind confrontation like you know, hey, I'm not I
don't want it, but I ain't gonna shy away from
it either, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:30:23):
And he's an opinionated child.

Speaker 7 (01:30:25):
Like in my house, I didn't have a voice, Like
I said, it was a dictatorship, you know. So I
allow my son.

Speaker 3 (01:30:37):
I allow my son.

Speaker 7 (01:30:38):
To have a voice, like you know, I always add,
like I give him choices. I want him to make
certain choices, like sometimes it's Mama. She don't want to
do that, like she want to dictate. And I'm like, hey, look,
you can't do that with him all the time. First
of all, he had a knucklehead kid, so that's why
you don't want to do that with him.

Speaker 3 (01:30:56):
But second of all, how is he going.

Speaker 7 (01:30:59):
To do critical things when he goes the way to
college if you're always got your thumb on you. Yep,
you know you have to you have to allow him
to You have to allow him these things, you know
what I'm saying. To my parents' credit, they allowed even
though I lived in a dictatorship, but they allowed.

Speaker 3 (01:31:17):
Me to have so much freedom. Like I said, like,
I ain't have a curfew.

Speaker 7 (01:31:21):
I just have to be smart, Like I was just
smart enough to understand my butt needs to be at
the house around a certain time.

Speaker 3 (01:31:27):
They never sat down and said you need to be
home at this time.

Speaker 5 (01:31:31):
I wish I wouldn't.

Speaker 7 (01:31:33):
I feel like, yeah, listen, I'm telling you it's funny, Michelle,
I didn't have one like.

Speaker 3 (01:31:41):
They never ever told me, hey, you need to be
back home at this time.

Speaker 7 (01:31:45):
Never once in my teenage life have they told me
I need to be back home at a certain time.

Speaker 3 (01:31:51):
I like to me, it was just it was to me, I.

Speaker 7 (01:31:55):
Was just responsible enough to understand, Yo, my butt needs
to be back at a certain time. You know what
I'm saying. But because you know I was responsible enough
to have that critical thinking, my parents allowed so much slack.

Speaker 3 (01:32:09):
Like I remember one time the TJ. I'll tell you this.

Speaker 7 (01:32:12):
I remember one time me and him was out. We
was probably like eighteen or nineteen years old. We was
out and we did not get home until about three
forty five in the morning.

Speaker 3 (01:32:28):
Now, mind you only eighteen nineteen. Listen, So funny, ain't.

Speaker 6 (01:32:36):
Nothing open at that time in the morning.

Speaker 4 (01:32:40):
White Castle, leagus, but white Castle or some leggs if
they bet not.

Speaker 3 (01:32:46):
He listen, Michelle, you like you know your TK, so
you understand it. Yeah, me and him walked through. Listen,
Me and him.

Speaker 7 (01:32:58):
Walked in our house at three forty seven. I know
at the time, I never forget. I'm looking at him,
Mike Away, three forty seven. My father is sitting in
the recliner. My father usually up late because he worked
second ship, so when he got home it was like
eleven thirty at night.

Speaker 3 (01:33:13):
And he had assigned me.

Speaker 7 (01:33:15):
It's just like I do. So he didn't go to
bed right away. So we walk in and my father
turns to look at us, and I just knew he
was gonna give it to me. I just knew it.
And he was like, he's like hey, and that was it.
I was like, hey, pop, and you know we talked about.

Speaker 3 (01:33:34):
We talked about a football.

Speaker 7 (01:33:35):
But I'm explained why that was allowed, like he told
he because he told us when I was about twenty seven,
he's allowed.

Speaker 6 (01:33:44):
You are a man, and that's why it was allowed.
Because trust me, if your sister came walking in there.

Speaker 3 (01:33:51):
Yeah she couldn't do that.

Speaker 5 (01:33:56):
You know you are true.

Speaker 4 (01:33:59):
I have daughter, the seventeen year old, a thirteen and
eleven two play something one. Whatever rule applies to my
daughters applies to my boys. I wish my children would
come in here and least days gotta you have to
be in my sir, because they're snatching kids left and right,

(01:34:19):
sex traffic and.

Speaker 3 (01:34:20):
All kind of Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:34:21):
You know, somebody got to be.

Speaker 4 (01:34:23):
In the house at a certain time, and I need
to know where you are at all times because it
ain't like what like we It ain't like how it
was when we were kids, where missus Luella down the street,
miss throw across the street, missus, it's gonna watch out
for your kids. People ain't doing that nowadays, so and
if they watching, they watching for the wrong reasons exactly.
So now you have to be a little you gotta

(01:34:45):
be more strict when it comes to those things in
order to keep your kids safe.

Speaker 5 (01:34:49):
You, I mean, you just got to, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:34:52):
Want.

Speaker 6 (01:34:54):
In the midst of growing up because I was I
was real sickly when I was young. I had horrible
asthma up until I was like fourteen years old. It
was bad, in the hospital three or four times a year,
couldn't breathe half the time, all of that, and so

(01:35:14):
my parents became, I think a little more protective of me.
And I was that kid in church that was stretched
out on the back bench because y'all was taking too long,
and I'm going to sleep on the back bench and
then you can carry me out to the car and

(01:35:35):
in the house because I'm gonna be out. And so
by the time I got to the age of hanging
out with my friends and doing that kind of stuff,
I'm a church girl. So the people that I hung
out with was the same folks I went to church with.
They were the folks in the church and the youth
group with me that my mother was over so, you know.

(01:35:57):
But my mother had a rule if we went out,
and there were times when we would all get together
and go out with our sponsors and we would go
out to dinner or to the movie or something like that.
My mother had a rule. And I think I was
like seventeen years old. She said, be back in this
house before midnight, because at midnight, the chain goes on

(01:36:19):
the door, the bar goes across the med door, and
if you ain't in here, you ain't getting in here
until I unlike it the next morning.

Speaker 7 (01:36:30):
I think I think all the girls curfew was at
midnight because my sister's a curfew was at midnight. But
my father told me why he allowed me to have
so much slack back then. He was like, look, the
reason why we didn't, you know, we have to come
down on you is because we knew you knew you
know how to monitor yourself. Like he literally told me that.

Speaker 3 (01:36:55):
He's like, that's.

Speaker 7 (01:36:56):
Why, you know, he said, I remember when you walked
in the house at for almost four o'clock in the morning.
He said, I didn't say nothing to you because I
knew you know you wouldn't nothing to know.

Speaker 3 (01:37:05):
He's like, I knew you.

Speaker 7 (01:37:06):
You know you wasn't doing something that you ain't had
no business doing. He's like that that's not child. For one,
you know what I'm saying. He's like, but also on
top of it, I knew you wasn't gonna pull nothing
like that again for another year or two. He's like,
I ain't have to worry about. He's like, Now, your brother,
on the other hand, if he did it, if he
did it on Thursday, he gonna try to do something else.

Speaker 3 (01:37:27):
On father, He's like, you you did it.

Speaker 7 (01:37:33):
He's like he said, we knew you. Not how a
police self. That's what my father told me. He's like,
we knew you.

Speaker 6 (01:37:39):
Remember Eddie Murphy's boomerang shoe. Yeah, okay, my mother didn't
have the boomerang shoe. She had the boomerang handset to
the telephone that telephone.

Speaker 3 (01:37:52):
Handset find you.

Speaker 6 (01:37:55):
It was going around walls in corners my great daddy
and you, and and the cord was so long that
she didn't even have to untook the cord because after
it hit it would bounce back to her and she'd
hang it up.

Speaker 5 (01:38:13):
No, I didn't play with Martha.

Speaker 6 (01:38:15):
Now I have my moments when you know, you think
that that you grown and that you smelling yourself as
those folks you say, you're smelling yourself, girl, you're smelling yourself.
And there were times when we would go because I
had a lot of mouth, you know, and I was
that kid growing up that would be like why why

(01:38:39):
why why, Mama, why? And so I'd be like, but
why you say so why? And so as I got
older and she would say stuff that I didn't necessarily
care too much for, I would challenge it and she

(01:38:59):
would be like, Michelle, why do you always got a
challenge and just do what I said? I said, but
I'm not understanding why I have to m And so
that was when you know that that backhand came out
of nowhere?

Speaker 5 (01:39:15):
Didn't You didn't.

Speaker 6 (01:39:17):
See it coming, didn't even see it when it left.

Speaker 3 (01:39:21):
Right just woke up the stars for stars and then
all of a sudden you woke up. So you know,
it's at that moment.

Speaker 6 (01:39:31):
You know the one thing that I appreciated is she
never would come back and say that's why I did it,
because you was She never did that, and she would
be like, you all right, and I would just look
at it like that was you did just hit me
in my mouth? Am I all right? And that would

(01:39:54):
be it, and she would go on by her business
and I'll be sitting there, mad.

Speaker 7 (01:40:00):
I didn't ask that he was all right, she's talking
about mind asking was like, didn't care.

Speaker 3 (01:40:06):
You's likeright. They just cared. The only thing they cared
about is if you if you did the task they
told you to do.

Speaker 5 (01:40:13):
Look, they told you to do it.

Speaker 6 (01:40:15):
You only had a few seconds to be sitting there,
and then you better get up and do whatever it
was you was originally supposed to be doing.

Speaker 5 (01:40:24):
That's it. That's it.

Speaker 6 (01:40:26):
And it was really about the respect because even now
I am fifty five years old, I will not talk
to my mother like I hear some of these young
people talking to their parents. No, no, no, no, because
I have a healthy fear of mama. Yep, she's eighty

(01:40:46):
three years old and she has a cane.

Speaker 5 (01:40:49):
No no, ma'am, I'm sorry, Okay, what now? Oh look,
this has been listen. This conversation was amazing.

Speaker 4 (01:41:01):
For the first uh, the debut of relationship touched on
so much you can only imagine with the rest of
the shows spend to be like along.

Speaker 3 (01:41:10):
With these seconds that we got going on.

Speaker 5 (01:41:12):
So yeah, thank y'all for tuning in.

Speaker 4 (01:41:17):
Uh tonight, you know we have extended with almost an
hour and a half, which is great.

Speaker 5 (01:41:22):
I mean, I don't know why we thought we was
gonna everything anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:41:25):
But hey right actually, uh the one our minds are
set up.

Speaker 4 (01:41:32):
But uh anyway, Uh, anybody want you got final thoughts.

Speaker 5 (01:41:38):
That you want to share?

Speaker 7 (01:41:40):
My only final thought is, you know, uh, be more
considerate with who it is that you're dealing with, rather
it be friends, family.

Speaker 3 (01:41:48):
You know, a loved one, someone that is intimate with you.

Speaker 7 (01:41:51):
Just be more considerate about what it is that you
say or do.

Speaker 6 (01:41:59):
I'm in total agreement with that. What I would also
add to that is this, you have to learn how
to love yourself before you can effectively love someone else.
You have to learn how to respect yourself before you
can respect someone else. And so the Word of God
says that charity begins at home and then it spreads abroad.

(01:42:20):
Whatever however you feel about yourself is what's going to
be reflected in your relationships. So take the time to
do your work. Do your self work, get yourself to
a place in a position to when you look at
yourself in the mirror, you're loving the person looking back
at you, you're respecting the person looking back at you.

(01:42:41):
Then it's very very easy for you to do the
same in your relationships with family, with friends, with associates,
with coworkers, because it's not based on how they see
you or treat you. It's based on how you see
yourself and how you love and respect yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:43:00):
Awesome, I think from our final thought, I just want
to say, you know, and dealing with relationships, any type
of relationship, understand that it takes both parties. Are all
parties so and you have to be equally committed. And
you can't just be committed when things are good. You

(01:43:22):
have to be committed when things are bad as well.
When love, when the love, when you feel like the
love is gone, that's when the friendship should carry you.
When the friendship you think is fighting away, that's when
your love for that person carries you. They say, you know,
love believes all things, hopes, all things endures, all things.

Speaker 5 (01:43:42):
Love never fails. And true love, not conditional love. Real true,
unconditional love will carry you through any thing anything. Relationships,
even in business a level over going into business with
if you are a partner that you appreciate and now

(01:44:03):
what bring to the table, so you compet to that thing.
And even when things ain't going the way you think
they should go, when did you you know, when did
you go? And how it should go? Stick with it.
So that would mean.

Speaker 4 (01:44:16):
My my final thoughts because again it's his relationshipology together
you either phone or fly?

Speaker 5 (01:44:23):
Which one is it?

Speaker 3 (01:44:23):
On? Be for you?

Speaker 5 (01:44:26):
So and that's it for the night, y'all. Thanks y'all
for tuning in with your girl Lady.

Speaker 6 (01:44:31):
Jane and.

Speaker 3 (01:44:34):
Boy Keith Omar all right, and.

Speaker 5 (01:44:36):
Our special guests Michelle, I'm micheam all right.

Speaker 4 (01:44:42):
Uh, we are signing off relationship apology right here on
Jake cll RADYO.

Speaker 5 (01:44:46):
Make sure y'all don't go down.

Speaker 4 (01:44:49):
We got the hottest music, all right, uh in rotation
to never hear the same song every five fifteen minutes,
I guarantee you that, okay, So check us out yellow
the app and until next time, we yeah, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:45:07):
Peace.

Speaker 1 (01:45:16):
The inspiration for the songs because of you, The inspiration
for the songs because of you, The inspiration for the
songs because of you.

Speaker 2 (01:45:29):
You.

Speaker 3 (01:45:32):
It's for you can you sing it with me