DON'T DISRESPECT MY MAMA

Lady J and Mark B discuss the ins and outs of being in a relationship with someone who does not have enough backbone to check their mother when she disrespects their significant other and is constantly taking up for their mother. This is a conversation you do not want to miss! Of course, you want to get in on the SOCIAL MEDIA RELATIONSHIP SHENANIGANS segment too! 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Hey, hey, hey, welcome to another episode of pillow Talk
with your girl Lady Jay.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
And we're in this thing.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Thank you for tuning in to j q EL on
Radio tonight and pillow Talk. So, as y'all know, we
have had to cut down on how many shows we
do a month. We'll be doing pillow Talk two Sundays
a month, so usually second and four Sundays, since Mark

(01:06):
b schedule only permits.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
For that at the moment. So tonight our.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Turn me up, turn your music down. I think you
speakers down, so.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
You all the way up, you switch mics.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
So with that being said, our topic for tonight is
don't disrespect my mama.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
So of course, of course.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
This show is probably gonna be geared more towards the
guys because they seem to have most of the issues,
I says. And your girl Leo Rachel. Yes, So so Leo.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Be popping up on my on my phone like that.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yeah, she's our other, our other co host, so there
will be opportunity for you out to call into the
show as usual. Okay, But of course, so y'all know
how the flow of the show goes. We talk about
the topic and surface level and then we give our
own personal experiences and comments and concerns, and then we
leave the show with some tips. And of course we

(02:16):
have the new segment on the show, social Media relationship Shenanigans,
so we'll get into that later on in the show.
She says she's still a co host in spirit. Yes
you are, so don't disrespect my mama. Now, I will

(02:38):
say that I have had to get some of the
men's that I've dated, that I have dated in my lifetime,
and I haven't had to get their mothers together. I
try to do it in a non disrespectful way. But ma'am,
when you cross the line, please know, no had to

(02:58):
because listen, some people's, some men's mothers feel like they
can cross certain boundaries and continue to do so and
continue to disrespect you, and you're supposed to just take it.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Here's the we no, no, no, opposite of that, that
hardly ever happens is a man saying I've had to
get you know, several girlfriends fathers together because you know,
because they you know, they be out of pocket, so
I had to get them together. You know why that
doesn't happen because anytime a dude does that, most of

(03:31):
the time the female is gonna talk about.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
No, absolutely not. You know why it doesn't happen. It
doesn't happen because fathers don't stick. They nos in business
where it don't belong. And fathers don't sit there and disrespect,
don't disrespect their their daughter's.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Husbands or me. That's why mothers tend to do that.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
I'm glad that. I'm glad that we've narrowed it down
to being a woman problem. So I'm fine with that.
I'm cool with that explanation. That makes perfect sense.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
So thank you, thank you, thank you, Tiffany. I know
I ain't lying.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
How many fathers, Okay, how many fathers do y'all know,
will cross the line and be like, hey, telling your
telling your daughter's husband or boyfriend what he can and
what he cannot do, telling her, telling him what he
can and cannot say to his daughter, and just doing
the most, telling him, telling him how he gonna, how

(04:28):
he how he needs to raise his kids, and all
this kind of stuff. Fathers don't do that.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
There's a few out there. There's there's a few over
mare and fathers out there that and the reason why
it all, it all is based off of what that
child allows at some point, like your parent, has to
acknowledge the fact that you're grown, the fact that you're
out here screwing that you got kids, that you are
directing other young human beings and how to live their life.

(04:53):
At some point they have to recognize that. And if
they choose not to recognize that, then it's your job
as their child to put them in their place so
that somebody else doesn't put them in their place. And
if you don't, whether you are the son or the daughter,
then the person that you bring into your life who
has a strong personal because obviously you don't have a
strong personality, because if you had one, then your parents

(05:15):
would already know. So the person you bring in your
life with a strong personality, it's gonna do that.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Now.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
If you with somebody, if that person has a strong personality,
you ain't gonna have to do that. They're gonna already
have that together. They're gonna already hoiler at them, be like, hey, look,
don't talk to me like that. So by the time
the person comes in, then they ain't gonna have to
say nothing to them because you not already got them together.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
But here's the problem with that, Tiffany.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
I have to agree with her, so she says, because one,
there's not too many fathers around. Two because fathers pretty
much keep themselves in their business and don't interfere in
a relationship.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
And that is true.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
So for instance, I had and now, mind you, some
some mean well, some mean well. And so one of
the grandmother of two of my kids. Uh, she used
to cross boundaries all the time. You used to tell
me what, I don't talk to your kids like that.
You can't say that to them, or you need to

(06:09):
do this, you need to do that certain things concerning
me and her son when we were married, and I
had to stop her, you know, in her tracks and
tell her and in respect it the first time it
was respectful, you know, like listen, for one, these are
my children and I'm going to raise them the way
that I see fit. And there are traits in your

(06:33):
son that I definitely don't want my kids to have. Okay,
So I'm this situation is between me and him. We
are their parents, and so I thank you for your input,
But unless I asked for it, I really don't don't
want it. I don't appreciate you. You know what I'm
saying there's a way to go about it. And she
means well, she mean she she meant well, she means well,
and I love her to death to this day, and

(06:54):
so she loves me too. But sometimes you have to
have that conversation I've had. I've had mothers, you know,
try to overstep. If I'm the woman in this man's
life and something is wrong with him, or he needs
to be taken care of, he needs to be taken
care of and things, that's my job. If I need
your help, I'll let you know. If something is really wrong,
of course I'm going to tell you. I'm going to

(07:16):
keep you up updated. But some mothers tend to cross
certain boundaries, and then some even go as far as
calling you be's and out your name, and I'll have
my son leave you all that foolishness, and then the
sons will stand by.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
And let it have it.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
If a mother feels comfortable calling you out your name,
calling you a b and stuff like that, I would
reevaluate why you're with her son, because that level of
disrespect translates. So it don't just stop with the mom.
It's not like the mom's only disrespectful person in the family.
If she's that disrespectful, and that means that she got

(07:53):
a jelly backed husband who ain't gonna come and say
if you don't sit down and shut up or somebody,
he ain't gonna say like that to it. And her
son is already under her thumb. If a mother is overbearing,
that there's like a certain degree because mother's hover right,
and you can tell how good the man is going
to be based off of how the mother hovers and

(08:14):
based off of how she's she's going to feel comfortable
disrespecting you are trying to control your house and this,
that and the other, because there's some people who gonna try,
but they're comfortable. Their level of comfort when it comes
being able to do that, shows you exactly who you wit.

(08:36):
I've had similar situations where I don't consider myself to
be somebody that comes. I have a strong personality, but
I don't consider myself to be somebody that commands certain
things or anything.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
I'm the type that this is what I'm gonna do.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
You can choose to do that if you want to,
but I'm gonna do it regardless of whether you do it.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
So I'm going this way.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
You can come with me in this way if you
want to, but uh, but if you don't, I'm still
going this way. I've been in situations where the where
the mother uh or the father are used to shutting
that that girl down and used to not taking her
input into consideration. So when I come and I empower

(09:20):
that person to to have a say and have input
and be able to speak their mind and feel confident
that if even if I don't agree with you, that
I'm gonna respect your opinion. Then the parents start getting upset.
Hold on, what's what's this level of confidence that this
this person got that they didn't have. They didn't have

(09:40):
this confidence when I kicked them out the house. Now
all of a sudden, they got this confidence and now
they're with you. Okay, something something weird's gotta have.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
And that happens.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
So and it's usually spearheaded by in most cases, it's
spearheaded by the mother.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
So again that that goes back to my original comment
that mother's do this and really not fathers.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
It's probably ninety ten literally, I.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Mean, I didn't disagree with what I'm saying is that
there are there are a few fathers out there because
in which speaking from the pool of fathers that's actually around, Tiffany.
Just you know, since you since you're thrown shade at
the men folk out there from we're speaking from the
pool of fathers that are actually around and participate in

(10:27):
their child's life.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
So out of that pool of fathers, you'll.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
Get some who are overbearing, who are narcissistic, who feel
like even if that child it's almost like the man
that comes in her life has to dethrone the king
in order to have a say, as opposed to that
father just naturally giving him respect when he comes into
his child's life.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Well, here's the flip side of that, though, when the
mother interjects in an argument. So if y'all, for instance,
the holidays are are here, so of course we're in
the pandemic of course right now, so it ain't too
many people meeting, but you know, traditionally usually going to
one of the mom's house, or they're coming to your

(11:12):
home and things of that sort. Y'all get into an
argument and mama jumps into conversation and don't be talking
to my son down listen. Tiffany made a comment about
that too one and then again the son won't say nothing,
he'll back up until his girl checks his mama. Now
you want to interject to say something telling her don't

(11:33):
be talking to my mom or don't disrespect my MoMA
like that. No, sir, listen, you you gotta go home
and sleep in the bed with me. You gotta go.
You screwing me, okay, or you're married to me, and
so either you can stay here with your mammy okay,
and still be connected to the to the nipple okay,
or you can grow a backbone and tell your mama

(11:55):
that she needs to stay in her place as your
mother and stay at your business.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
On the flip side, all them ladies out there who
are super thugs except for when it comes to their mama,
and when their mama say something, then all of a sudden,
y'all just y'all need to stop arguing. And y'all knowing
your mama is out of pocket, y'all, y'all just need
to stop arguing and come together. I've had that scenario
happen to Tiffany.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
Tiffany says, listen, tell your mama to mind her business,
and and latrese Monique says she went through this with
her ex and his mother. She always overstepped her boundaries
and he never spoke up. And to get respect, you
have to give it.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
That's definitely it's about it's about being.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
Being grown at something.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
If you don't see yourself as grown as you, if
you always see yourself as somebody's child, then you always
gonna make space for them to be disrespectful or feel
like they are going to have more of a say,
I love my mom. I was raised by my mom
and my aunt's I got six up.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
You know what I'm saying. All of them have respect.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
I give them respect, all of them, but none of
them overstep that boundary because it would be just the
same as them arguing with with one of their husbands
and me said, hey, don't be talking to my aunt Marcus.

Speaker 4 (13:08):
Shut up. They gonna you know what I'm saying, Like
it's the same thing you give.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
There's a there's a space where you belong and you
stay within that space. Now, if things get disrespectful like
he like he walking up on them or something like that,
they already know you know what I'm saying like that,
that ain't gonna happen. But if them having a conversation.
I was raised to believe that you have the right
to say whatever you want to and the person has
the right to say whatever they want to to you
as long as they don't put their hands on you.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
That's how I was.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
So you can say whatever you want, because because whatever
you got to say, you're not gonna be able to
outdo what I got to say. So whatever whatever you say,
whatever word you use, you are not gonna be able
to outdo the words that I use.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
That's in your head. But that's in your head.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
That's in your head because I'm pretty people listen, I've
been known to bring people to their knees their whole
entire world, because I'm the type of person I'm not
going to just tell you if you keep disrespecting me,
I'm not just gonna be talking to you.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
I'm going to let you know in front of the
entire world.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
History has proven in forty three years that whatever somebody
has to say to me, I can be just as
if not more, disrespectful to anybody that says something.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
But at the end of the day, I'll say, men
need to grow backbones and check they mamas men because
because no me, I'm talking to the men, because men
seem to have a problem with that. Because most men
are mama's boys, and not necessarily mama's boys on the
end of the spectrum where where he lets his mama

(14:42):
still run his life. Even though we have a lot
of those, I'm talking about mama mama's boys period. Women
don't have most of them don't have a problem with
speaking up. It's the men, and they always want to
check their woman instead of checking their mama.

Speaker 4 (14:54):
I'm speaking to them.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
Then that few women out there who got the same
issue because they are I've had a knife pulled on
me by somebody's mama and that person had nothing to say.
Why can't y'all just get along like Rodney King? That's
that's what. So I've experienced a woman who in every
other aspect is supposed to be like super hard and

(15:18):
and don't take nothing from nobody, And you can't say
this to me.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
You can't say that to me.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
And then as soon as they mama come around, then
you know, I don't know that they may have a point.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
That I've experienced that.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
So we basically talking about anybody who has the issue
of not being able to draw that line between being
your mother's child and being an adult.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
I feel like it has to be.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
It has to go further than that, because you always
gonna be your mama's child. The point is learning how
to check your parent when they are in the wrong period,
and it's a lot of it's a lot of me
have a issue with that. Well, like, what is the
problem with checking your mama? What is the problem with
telling your mom? With telling your mother? Hey, mama, this

(16:08):
is my wife. You're not gonna disrespect her. This is
my girl. You're not gonna disrespect her. This is the
woman in my life. You're not gonna talk to her
any kind of way. And no, I'm not getting ready
to jump in and save you when she defends herself.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
No, I think that I think that lies squarely. Will
not squarely.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
I think it lies primarily on the parent, because a
lot of parents don't know how to teach their They
don't raise their kids to be an adult. They raise
their kids to be their kids. So we all have
different aspects of ourselves with somebody's kids. First, as we
get older, with somebody's boyfriend, somebody's husband, somebody's wife, within

(16:44):
somebody's mother. You know what I'm saying. When I'm somebody's mother,
I am not your child. When I when I'm somebody's husband,
at that point, I'm not your child. Now you did
birth me. But if I'm having a conversation with my
with my husband, if I'm a woman, or with my wife,
if I'm a husband, then you don't supersede that because

(17:06):
you're my mother. I'm not your child in that instance.
I am that person's husband in that instance. If I'm
disciplining my children, I am my children's father at in
that instance, I'm not your child. So if I'm telling them,
if you don't pick those shoes up off the ground,
I'm gonna burn your butt up. And then you come
as a mother, hold on, hold on, don't talk to
your kids like that.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
No no, no, no no no. I'm there. I'm their parent
and I'm not your child. At that moment.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
You can get kicked out that that's when you're overstepping
the boundary. But if you've never if your parents don't
raise you to be an adult, and they only raise
you to be their child, then you're always hovering around
their feelings, their emotions, and their actions.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
You're doing what.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
They would be happy with, and you haven't lived your
own life yet. You're focused on making sure that mama's
not mad. I'm making sure that daddy's not mad. And
people do that a lot of time.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Okay, So here's the thing, because people have this notion, well,
that's my mama and so or that's my daddy, and
you know they're always going to be my own. You
don't have one mama, And you know, I want I
don't want to ruin the relationship and stuff like that.
But you so, you're willing to sacrifice the person that
you say you want to be with, the person that

(18:19):
you're married to. You you're willing to sacrifice that relationship
just for the sake of a relationship with your parents.
So you feel like your spouse or your significant others
should just, uh, I don't worry about that. She liked
that all the time, or you know, don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
I talk to her.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
You want this person to keep putting up with that
and keep being in the background, you know what I'm saying,
to keep taking it while you over here trying to salvage.
But at the end of the day, you not even
meant to live the rest of your life with your parents.
You're meant to live the rest of your life with
your spouse. That's the way it's set up. So I
feel like I feel like, you know, ain't no, Maybe

(18:56):
that's the way God set it up. You you are
meant to spend your entire life with your I ain't
talking about them. You're meant to You're meant to live
the rest of your life with your spouse, not your parents.
And so when you are, when you are sacrificing that
relationship for a relationship with your parent instead of setting

(19:16):
boundaries and expectations for your parent, then it becomes a
problem and then you end up losing the person that
you said you want to be with all because you
couldn't open up your mouth. And I feel like if
more of us would have the conversation with our parents
and say, hey, this is what I'm going to tolerate.
This is what I'm not going to tolerate. I love you, you
my mother, but at the end of the day, this

(19:37):
is who I choose to be with them. You're going
to respect her. You don't have to like her, but
you will respect her. That's that's a conversation that needs
to be had. Those are the words that need to
be saving.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
If they had that in them, you would never have
that issue in the first place, and that's that's like,
that's real talk. If they had that in them, you
would never have that issue in the first place. You
wouldn't You wouldn't have to worry about your mama not
gonna disrespect me to me times before I go off.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
You wouldn't have to worry about that.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
You wouldn't have to worry about saying nothing if that
person had it in them, because they would have had
that conversation already and it would have had nothing to
do with you. It would have everything to do with them.
As you become an adult, you you have the mindset
of okay, there would thinks there's a pulling away phase
that every child has with that parent, and if it's
done right, it's not pulling disrespectful way.

Speaker 4 (20:24):
It's pulling away in a way of letting you know, Okay.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
It's time for me to start having my own independence
and you're gonna have to respect that.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah, okay, So we're gonna take a quick break and
when we come back, we're gonna talk about what are
some of the ways that we should address our parents
in those situations and what happens when a fight ensues.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Who side should you be on.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
I'm talking about throwing hands, calling names because it happens.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
You ever got the best hands?

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Who side should you be on? As that significant other?
So stick and stay and we'll be right back. You
are tuned into pillow Talk with your girl Lady Jay
right here on j q l M radio, saying that I've.

Speaker 5 (21:39):
Been acting different your money, how flip this cript on
your You the one who's double dipping your sing? Howard
cot the slipping, the go off, the lease, bring me
my keys, don't pumping up an.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
I ain't even got the mouth of trip on your
no phone brand new.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Up?

Speaker 2 (22:00):
What's it they big? I'm not rage? Wake up, Peter,
is it heno say? Ma said, look at my jeans.
Do things? I got a little the baggage.

Speaker 5 (22:12):
Don't forget to come and pick up your feel.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Don't leave no pieces. You need to hurry and pick
up up while I love clean bar. Please, I don't
need the Maurice. All the ship you can keep it.
Don't forget to come and pick up up. Don't know

(22:45):
if I'm trying to find a buck to give you.
At the chances I'm forgiving you. It's not listen there
just for you to go and break my heart again.
I'm not letting the world. I ain't coming bat I
look clatter, don't have no phone.

Speaker 6 (23:03):
Isn't it come sax?

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Don't it?

Speaker 3 (23:06):
He laughs?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
What it can't wait? Too expensive? Don't know he is
bun man. It's time. Don't prick.

Speaker 5 (23:16):
I ain't got no overt baggage. Don't forget to come
and pick up.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Don't leave no peace ahead. You need to hurry up.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
Pick up behind, pick up your feud.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
I'm not clean Barby. I don't need.

Speaker 6 (23:40):
Money.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
He's on a shade you meet. Don't fuck you got
to coming? Pick up behind. Don't even know me?

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Said I'm double my homeless once but you had the fun,
but I had it?

Speaker 7 (23:58):
No, no, really don't. Is there so much money you're
gave him me? So don't saving me and a man business?
So you can run them streets.

Speaker 5 (24:10):
Don't forget you, come map pick up it. I'm up, please,
I don't need.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Shit you could keep I don't need.

Speaker 5 (24:35):
Don't forget you.

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are back.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Welcome back to Pillow Talk with your girl, Lady Jay
right here on jq LM Radio, a division of EGO
Entertainment Network.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
So before the break we have been we were talking about.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Talking about don't disrespect my mama, and we decided that
of course men say this more than women, because men
allow this, all right, Men allow their mothers to disrespect
their significant others more than women do. So with that

(27:57):
being said, win a fight ensued. So you at the holiday,
the Christmas dinner, you know, Thanksgiving, U the New Year's
Day breakfast, you know, after watch night service, everybody meet
up in somebody's house, y'all cook them, you know, breakfast
and stuff. And argument ensues because your mother continues to

(28:17):
disrespect your significant other oversteping her boundaries. Do you step
in and break it up? Who do you check? Who
do you tell?

Speaker 3 (28:26):
The chill out and sit down again? Who got the
best hands? Is this first? Is the first question that
you want to you know, really you want to pond
over because you don't want to You want to step
in on the wrong side the wrong way, really and
catch a cup on me, like and have to you know,
reevaluate your whole life situations. But here's the thing we

(28:48):
talk about U and this leads into my answer. Though
we talk about dudes do this more than more than
women do. And I think because we're talking about mothers.
The reason why it happens more often than not is
because boys are taught to protect their mothers. Uh And
because a lot of mothers teach their kids, primarily boys,

(29:11):
but teach their kids to respect mama, but don't extend
that respect to other adults because when like how I
was brought up, Yeah, so.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Respect other adults if.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
I could finish my mystage, because I was in a statement.
When I finished my statement, I was raised is that
you respect all adults. That's how we were raised. We
were raised that you respect all adults. If you have
an issue with an adult, you come get me and
then I'll deal with that adult. You don't deal with

(29:46):
it yourself, because then I'm giving you a past to
disrespect an adult. So now you go ahead, and you
shut your mouth, and you be mad, and you you know, cry,
do whatever you need to do. You come get me,
and then I'll deal with that adult. I had had
an example when I was a kid at the corner
store in Terrytown where this dude who had just bought it,

(30:08):
he hadn't been there longer than I had in the neighborhood,
and he bought it, and I had went to uh.
I went to the store to get like a drink,
and I forgot to get something else. So I put
my bag on the counter and went back and got
that went and paid for the thing. And then the
owner came and was like, what do you have in
that bag? And he took my bag and turned it over,
dumped all my stuff out. My little penny candy and

(30:30):
all that stuff out on the counter, and I'm mad.
And it was the first time I had dealt with
like any kind of racism, and I didn't know how
to deal with it. I just knew I was pissed off.
And I grabbed my bag after he was done, and
even the lady who was the teller was like, he
paid for that, right, she's a family friend also, But
he put the stuff back in the bag and then

(30:51):
gave it to me and I walked out. I'm mad.
I went home to my grandma's house. My aunt Cynthy
was there and Mint Cynthy was like, what's the matter
with you? And I told her. She was like, back on,
we go back up there, Cynthy. My Auntie Cynthy called
that man everything. Every she created new cuss words to.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
Call this man.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
I was from that moment on, I was like, Cynthia
is my hearty. I don't care what happened. I'm always
gonna love Auntie Cynthy. Well, it would some people tell
their kids, well, you go you don't let him talk
to you like that. You go ahead and blah blah
blah blah blah. Well what you do when you do
that is you tell them to disrespect another adult. So

(31:30):
you don't set no boundaries for respect. Now take that
later on in life. If nobody has to if you
if nobody has to be respected except for Mama, then
you not used to checking mama.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Mama does whatever she.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Want to do, and you just you just learn how
to uh to work around mama instead of you actually
checking it. But when you become an adult, when you
really become an adult, and I'm not talking about just
being grown. When you really become an adult is when
you man the same same level of respect that you give.
And that's from everybody.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
I love my mom.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
My mom loves me. When I go to her house,
you know, it's her house. I respect her house. I
love it. When she comes to my house is my house.
She respects the fact that it's my house. We don't
have those issues because are you talking about are you
talking about I'm talking about my mom, my mom, because
she but she taught, she taught that that you respect adults,

(32:30):
that you respect other people.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
She so it's even if.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
She has something, if she has something to say about
the significant other, she'd tell me. You know, sheould put
me to the side of listen. You know, she'll tell
me what it's not like. She's not gonna tell me.
She'll tell me what she thinks, but she's not gonna
get into it with the person there, because that that
would be disrespectful.

Speaker 4 (32:52):
She'd rather leave and then call me about it.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
I have gotten into it with one of my one
of my exes. Mamas.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
I did get into it. I mean we got into
a whole. Yeah, we did get into it. I don't
do disrespect. Well, I don't care who you are. I
don't care who mama you are. I don't care how
old you are. You gonna respect me, because especially if
I'm giving you respect, you're gonna respect me. And if
you don't, then you gonna you're going to figure out
that I can be not so nice. And so I

(33:21):
was taught to respect elders and I was taught to
respect adults, but I was also taught not to let
somebody else disrespect me. And I'm all the way grown
with kids. Okay, So what you're not gonna do is
talk to me like I'm your kid. First of all,
I'm not your kid, So your kid is somebody that
I'm dating. Two, you're gonna give me the same respect

(33:43):
that I give you. I don't care what it is.
And when I am addressing the person that I'm with,
what you're not gonna do is jump in the middle
of it either because I'm gonna check you right then
and there.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Let's see what was that the disrespect that they stepped in.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
No, so.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
They were stealing the social security number or using the
soci crety number of my ex and it and it
interfered with because we filed together. It interfered with my money.
So I addressed the situation. They got upset about it
and start talking crazy and calling like oh okay, so yeah,

(34:24):
so that's how that went down. But Latree says, so
at my age of forty four, is it okay for
me to curse missus Betty out if she disrespects me?
She said, I think it is, but I'm just asking.
Uh so I would say, yeah, listen, if you disrespect
me you start calling me on my name. Oh, rest
assure that's because in that moment you not thinking about

(34:49):
that person's age. If if Mark's mama, for instance, was
to she get upset or she if Mark's mama, for instance,
what was to get upset or or interject herself in
something between me and him, and then she started calling
on my name. Ain't gonna be no miss nothing after that, okay,
And we probably will not talk after that because you

(35:10):
only got one time to disrespect me, even if it
was his his a friend, a female friend or a
sister or whatever. You got one time to cross a
certain line with me, and that's all you get, okay.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
So here's so here's my thinking concern of that. It
depends on the level of disrespect. Number one, because you know,
if you're talking about cussing somebody out, that's the atom bomb,
that's you know, you can't uncuss them after you cut, right,
So it does depend on the level of disrespect. Now,

(35:47):
what ideally, what should happen before you even part your lips.
Your doe should be handling that with it. That's what
should happen. You shouldn't even feel the need. In fact,
your mindset should be like, oh, she gonna catch it
for this one. He about to he about to eat
her up for this That's what should be your mindset.

(36:08):
And and it shouldn't be a passle. You should know
that that's about to come immediately. So you shouldn't have
to even you shouldn't have to cuss her out. He
should be getting up in hotel for.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
If he does not.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
If all of a sudden you.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
Looking at him, he looking at you, looking at him,
looking at you, looking at him, Okay, then I'm I
say this, depending on the level of disrespect. I'm not
gonna say that it's never gonna be a cause for
the customers Betty out. I'm gonna say that if the
if the causality is warrants some cussing out, then somebody

(36:50):
need to do it. And if that's you, then you
go ahead and take your take your place, so real quick.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
If you want to call in and give your two
cents on this topic, calling in at three one seven
eight eight six zero two nine six. Again, the call
in number is three one seven eight eight six zero
two nine six.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
If you want to call into the.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
Show, and okay, add to what I said, make sure
you can fight, because ain't no sense in cussing somebody
out and getting beat up afterwards, you know, because you know.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Okay, So let's ask the let's ask the the big question.
So what happens then when you get into it with
your significant others?

Speaker 2 (37:34):
Mom and uh, they.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Don't say anything, and you the type of person that
just sit back and watch what conversation should ensue afterwards
when y'all get home.

Speaker 4 (37:47):
No conversation.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
The conversation should be, are we gonna split this couch
down the middle and you take the left side and
I take the right side, or or do I get
to bed and you get the couch while I moved
myself into another apartment or our house or whatever. That
that should be the next conversation, because there's certain things

(38:09):
that you should expect from your man. Your man is
there to protect you, not just from people that you
don't know, but from people that both of y'all know.
So if he's gonna like, I know of somebody who
allowed their wife to be put at the kids table

(38:29):
during holidays all hell, put at the kids table because
the mom, because the mom preferred it.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
So I know somebody who did that.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Now hold on, wait, hold on, was that the female
that she put at the at the keys table or
a male?

Speaker 4 (38:46):
No?

Speaker 3 (38:46):
That was that was a man allowed his wife to
be put at the kids table. Listen, we would not
be married wife he had kids with at the time
to be put at.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
The kid ain't no way in here. I wish, I wish.

Speaker 4 (39:04):
I know of this, so that that tells you.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
That tells you a couple of She doesn't take up
for herself. Clearly she doesn't.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Before you even get to her, Before you even get
to her. That tells you what kind of man that is.
If you're the type of man that can allow that
level of disrespect for your woman, then you're never really
gonna be protecting her from anything.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
You can.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
You can bank on the fact that he won't be
protecting you from anything. If there's a bump in the
night and you'll be like, baby, that's a bumping to night.

Speaker 4 (39:36):
We'll get that back and go downstairs.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
So the ma'mnna been like, your wife can't sit at
the table with us, she gotta sit at the kids table.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
And she wasn't enough people, wasn't enough seats at the
at the grown up No.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
No, well I've been standing up in the kitchen at
the counter.

Speaker 4 (39:50):
I ain't no way all it would go, well, won't
don't you wanna?

Speaker 3 (39:54):
Don't you want to be there with the kids to
make sure that they eat, that they eat well? Why
less he's grown up? So sitting here at the grown
up table, No I think not.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
I think not.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
So Latre says, putting me at the kids table is
grounds for an immediate cursing out.

Speaker 4 (40:11):
I agree. I agree right there. I agree.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
If my man.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Don't interject, I'm cussing him in her out, okay, And
then I'm gonna leave him right there with his mom
and I dare him to come back to the brig.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
That's why I'm saying that there's levels. There are levels
to this thing, like like and and Okay, if you
if you talk about it in a room full of people, ooh,
that's that's sad. That's you know that you shouldn't do that.
That hurts somebody's feelings. But okay, beyond hurting somebody's feelings,
what that lets you know is that person is not
going to stick up for you. They're not gonna advocate

(40:45):
for you. What what will it take for in a
in a for them to advocate for you. If in
a small family gathering they won't advocate for you. So
then what happens if like a policeolice officer comes and says, well,
your wife was involved in in you know, three major homicides,

(41:06):
and da da da da ah, well she she she
downstairs gone ahead and get it. No, you're gonna be like,
my wife, wouldn't do that, my woman. That's the kind
of man that you want. He's not going to advocate
for you. He's not gonna stand.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Up for you. Right, So, and how does that happen?

Speaker 3 (41:22):
That happens because there's a mom who's a strong, domineering figure,
and the son has coward to that figure his whole
life and never once got to the point where he
would stand up for himself. So when so he goes
from usually that kind of son goes from a dominaring

(41:43):
figure as a mother to getting a wife who's a
dominaring figure because that's what.

Speaker 4 (41:47):
He's used to.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
So, but when it comes to having the conversation at home,
because some some women will let the first time side
depending upon how disrespectful it was. You know, so you
was just gonna let your mom, you know, disrespect me.
You know when we was at her house and when
she came over here, you know I didn't want to
because here's then here's the problem. Because then when you
check your man in front of everybody, now he got

(42:10):
a problem because he feels like you disrespected him up.
But hold on, now, I'm the type of person. Now,
I I have been in a situation where I had
to check or disrespect my husband in front of everybody.
But see, nobody knew the foolishness and the abuse that
I that was going on behind closed doors and at
this particular uh and he did it often to mean,

(42:33):
he disrespected me a lot in front of people. And
then sometimes his mama would interject and tell me I
need to calm down. You know, he need to feel
like he's the king, and I hell no, listen, A
person can only take so much. And if you will
allow to disrespect me and I'm the person that you
are with, and then you check me in front of

(42:54):
everybody after she has disrespected me, I don't care nothing
about you need and respect because I'm gonna disrespect you
because you are now an accomplice to her disrespect in
trying to check me when YO mama is the one
out of order?

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Period?

Speaker 3 (43:07):
What that tells you as a woman, right, once you
enter into a situation where there's a guy who is
willing to allow you to be disrespected, subjugated, dismissed, and
he has nothing, there's nothing in him that says hold on,
what y'all doing like that, did y'all hear her speaking
like y'all just gonna there's nothing in him that's gonna

(43:30):
do because they would expect him to do that for them,
Like that mother who is being disrespectful, would expect.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
Him to do that for her.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
If he's not, If she didn't raise the type of
human being that is gonna protect all women, then that
that scenario right there is gonna let you know. So
once you see that, you should be out. You should
be gone that. Once you see that happen, Once that
scenario happens, you should be done though, because that's letting

(44:01):
you know. He's never gonna have he's never gonna have
it in him to be your protector. He doesn't have
it in him to protect he has. The only person
that he's been programmed to protect is Mama. That's it.
Outside of Mama, he doesn't have it in him to
protect nobody else. So if if you're you're talking about
somebody who wants if that is exposed, if that is,

(44:26):
if the cover's lifted off of that, and you know
that's who he is, then he's not gonna He's not
gonna be fighting for you on any end for nothing,
whether you worthy of it or not. So that should
be your last family gathering.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
With that do yep.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
So we're gonna take a quick break and when we
come back, we're going to give some tips. After we
do our social media relationship Shenanigan segment, and y'all chime
in again the call in number three one seven, eight
eight six zero two ninety six. You can call him
and we come back from so stick and stay. This

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Speaker 1 (48:11):
All right, and we are back. Welcome back to Pillow
Talk with your Girl Lady Jay right here on jql
on Radio, a division of Ego Entertainment Network. So we've
been talking about don't disrespect my mama. Now, so the
last ten minutes of the show, we are going to

(48:32):
give some tips. But before we do that, we need
to get it now time for our social media relationship
Shenanigan segment. So what we do is we screenshot you
all's statuses, memes, comments about relationships. It could be something serious,
something funny, something out of this world, and then we're

(48:53):
going to read them off and give our two cents
about it. So, Mark B, you want to go first.
What you got over there? I don't got nothing, okay,
So I'm going to go first. Then, So the first
one is this was a status? If he's cheating, cheat
back support your man in everything he do. So that

(49:16):
one was hilarious. So of course we all know cheating
can lead to people throwing hands, a STD's, unwanted pregnancies,
and so much more. Let's see what else we got
so we have also she might not cheat, but she

(49:36):
know what. Nigga gonna replace you as soon as you
mess up, he says, as soon as you f up.
But so I know men tend to think that we
all have men on another man on standby if you
mess up.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
That that's true for a lot of us.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
I will say that that is true for a lot
of us, even if we don't have them on.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Even if we don't.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Have them on standby, we know which ones are waiting
on you to mess up because whatever it is that
you don't see or appreciating your woman, trust and believe
another man will and female.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
I don't know about that.

Speaker 8 (50:10):
But.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
Tiffany says. Tiffany says, that's the one. LOI ain't that it? Yeah,
so be.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
The one says, hold on. I want to go to
this other one down here because I think I saw
the video, ladies, is if sex is going to be
a chore for you, why do you all consistently push
monogamy on men.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
Now, oh that's a good one.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Yeah, but we don't necessarily push monogamy on you. We
tell you we prefer that if you choose to be
with a woman who is monogamous, that's your that's on you.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
The question where where is this relationship going? It said,
what's created, founded and established by women.

Speaker 1 (50:54):
Okay, but you knew when you got with her that
she was a monogamous woman. So that's your choice if
you want to if you want to be with a
woman who wants to be with several people, or who
don't mind you being with a woman.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
Who no woman has has on her full head that
I am. I am a monogamous woman. We just assumed
that because most women are very competitive, are very Uh
I don't think stingy is the is the proper term,
but uh, most women don't like sharing.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
We put it like that.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
So, uh, if you watch the video, check the whole
video out because the female she kind of got hot
because uh, because he was like, well, yeah, you pushed
monogamy on me, and she was like, how I push
monogamy on you? And she he started talking about, well
you came up with the ultimatum. I didn't come up
with the ultimatum, and then she had to. She had

(51:48):
to try and finect.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
That way, not pushing a monogamy on him. Again, it's
a choice for everybody. You can choose to stay in
that relationship or you can choose to leave it. Because
there are women out here.

Speaker 4 (51:57):
We was.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
I was listening to Fat Girl Chronicles the other day
with Tiffany. There are women on there that said that
they like polygamy. You can search out women who like polygamy.
That's on you. If you didn't. Here's the thing, and
maybe trying to act like they are so helpless when
it comes to stuff like this, just like y'all act
like y'all helpless to turn down some vagina when you're
being seduced when a woman gives you ultimatum, if you

(52:21):
didn't truly love her and felt like that woman what
made you better, or that she was somebody you could
see the rest of your life with, then you would
just leave. If you don't like the ultimatum. Ain't nobody
pushing nothing on you. Can't nobody force.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
You to stay.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
That's not a normal social structure, though, Like when it
comes to relationship, usually you're talking, you find a good woman,
and you stay with a good woman. Now, the things
that you have to do in order to stay with
the good woman is where the conflict comes in place.
Because maybe she's a good a good woman, but she's
just not good for you. Or maybe she's a good
woman but she's not good enough. Or maybe she's a

(52:55):
good woman, but what you like and what she likes
are way too different.

Speaker 4 (52:59):
It just depends.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
But I think if it's never presented as an option,
like either we're going to be monogamous or we're going
to be polly, or we're going.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
To be sick.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Well, I'm gonna tell you right now, anybody that's with me,
were gonna be monogamous. If you want polik at me,
you're gonna have to go elsewhere because I ain't the one.

Speaker 4 (53:15):
Let's just see it go to hedonism.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
So over here, I have a question. She says, my
man does not compliment me. He says, he's sure I
get enough of it from others, but he compliments other women.
Is he just not attracted to me or what? I'm
so confused. So here's here's the thing, fellas. Let me
school y'all real quick. When women.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
I have.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
My whole entire life, I've had men compliment me all
the time. You're so gorgeous, you're so beautiful. Men have
wanted to pay just to have sex with me, or
just to take me out, and also other kind of stuff.
We hear that all the time, but it means absolutely
nothing if it's not the person that you are with,
the person that you're with, the person, the man that
you are in love with. He's the one that we

(53:59):
want to know. We want him to notice that we
got our hair done or we got our nails done.
We want him to notice and hey, babe, your nails
look look nice, or your hair looks nice, or you
got to go out all these other men.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
That doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
But if you compliment other women more than you compliment
your own woman.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
Oh that's a problem.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Because women need attention the same way men need respect.
If you don't give us time and attention, I'm sorry,
you are leaving the door open for another man to
swoop her right on up.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
That's a necessity. That's not won't. That's a necessity for
all women.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
What your man just told you is that he's giving
you back to the streets. That's what that's basically what
he what he told you. He's telling you that whatever
you need to get from the streets is okay, that
he don't got it. He don't have to give you
anything that you're getting from the streets. So that's compliments,
that's pain, that's that's money anything because I don't have

(54:57):
I don't have to give it to you you can
get from the streets. That's that is a very uh.
That's a that's a that is a statement that makes
you know that he's not long for that relationship. I
don't think he's I don't think he ready. I think
he ready to go ahead and go a different way.
Because if he if he's like, I'm sure you get

(55:20):
compliments from other people in the in the streets, you
don't need it from me. That's that's the most backwards,
uh way of thinking. Like that's like saying the loud
part the silent part out loud.

Speaker 4 (55:34):
You know.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
I mean, even if you thought that, you're not supposed
to say it.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
But why would you even be in a relationship and
think that.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
I'm not saying that it's right for you to think that.
But even if you even if you thought that, you're
not supposed to say it.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
You know what I'm saying that.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
Yeah, that that don't make that don't make no sense
when it comes to it, because every dude knows, even
the even the avalier kind of due kind of knows
what you're supposed to do when it comes to a relationship.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
They you know all the relationship tropes.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
You give her compliments, give her candy flowers, even if
she ain't in the candy or whatever in the flowers.
You know that you're supposed to present this stuff because
this is relationship stuff. You don't never say, I ain't
gonna compliment you because I know other dudes compliment you
in the streets.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yeah, that's that's that's crazy, Tiffany said. She said, I'm all, baby,
you're not about to be complimenting somebody else and not
saying nothing to me. She said, you might as well
gone a batch your business because other men don't matter
to me. It's you that I want to hear from. Yeah,
so here's here's the tip that I that I'm gonna
get and hopefully markus listening. You should be complimenting your

(56:47):
You should be complimenting your significant other at least once
a week, just like you should be telling them.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
You should hear I.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Love you, just randomly, at least once a week, not
just when y'all screwing, I love you, or I appreciate you,
thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I randomly do that all the time.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
You need to at least closely match your mate in
doing that, or at least do it on a consistent basis.
You can't be out here complimenting other women and not
complimenting your own woman. That's that's especially hitting love and
like and then commenting on listen.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
That'll get you.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
That'll get you beat up, Okay, beat up and single
real quick? Well what you got over there?

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Mark?

Speaker 3 (57:32):
Let's see the other one I have is all these
seem to be very slanted against me, and so I'm
trying to pick one that's that's not.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Be careful who you build with, because some people will
start the foundation with you and finish the structure with
someone else.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Oh wait, say that again out loud.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
Be careful who you build with, because some people will
start the foundation with you and finish the structure with
someone else. So I know that a lot of women
are sitting there snapping their fingers like that, Like I
feel that in my soul.

Speaker 4 (58:07):
But let me tell you something.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
There's a lot of dudes who started a foundation of
mental healing, emotional healing with you, and you picked up
with somebody else once once you decided that you wanted
to upgrade or wanted better.

Speaker 4 (58:21):
So it cuts both ways. I think that.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
I think being careful who you deal with, I don't know.
I say if you, if you travel on your own path,
if you focus on the path that you're on, and
you allow people to come to you, or you allow
that attraction to happen naturally, then you don't feel like, well,
I did all this for you and then you just
gonna go along with somebody else. No, I was on

(58:46):
my path. The only thing, the only time that you've
wasted your the only way you wasted your time is
if you stopped what you were doing in order to
get with this person and then try and pull them
along with you, only for them to decide to go
with somebody else and finish whatever it is they're doing.
If you going on your path, if you're doing what
you're supposed to do, if you're continuing to love yourself

(59:09):
while you're working towards what you're meant to do, and
this person comes into your life, if they leave out
of your life, you still on your same forward trajectory.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
So I don't know. I agree to that.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
I agree with that to a certain extent, because here's
the thing you can be building somebody. Listen, everybody that's
that is with you ain't necessarily for you. Because there
are couples out here where you got a cheerleader, your
woman is cheerleading you on or your man's sheeting, and
you don't do the same for them. They supporting you,
they showing up and you know, going to your events.

(59:45):
They are investing in you, maybe purchasing stuff for your
business or offering their services to help you, and the
other person is not doing that. Or you got your
this person then set back and helped you get through
school and all this other kind of up and then
when it's your turn now down down?

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Want to do that? Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Gotta be careful who you bel with because everybody is
not a teammate. Everybody is not a teammate.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
My boy Derek said this to me years ago, and
I didn't agree with him at first, but I do now.
He said, you don't play nobody plays you. You play yourself.
And I was like, man, come on, I've experienced and
probably participated in some playing somebody else. And he's like, nah,
you don't actually play somebody or somebody doesn't actually play you.

(01:00:32):
You play yourself. You see the things you just don't
want to do anything about it. You see the red flags,
you just don't you don't want to accept them as
red flags. And so that being that rolling into this,
if you doing what you're supposed to do for you,
then somebody leaving isn't gonna take anything away from you.

(01:00:52):
It's they're only taking what they brought in. It's gonna hurt, Yeah,
it's gonna be it's gonna affect you emotionally. But if
the only if you stop your momentum to deal with
this person, you did that to yourself, and you shouldn't
have done that this person. You should allow them to
complement what you were doing so that both of y'all

(01:01:13):
could go forward and be successful on what you all
are trying to do. You paused to wait for this
person to catch up, and then when they caught up
with you, they split off with somebody else. That's kind
of your fault.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
So we have six minutes, six and a half minutes
left in the show, so quickly, what let's see, We'll say,
let's see, let's see on a Scorpion said, sometimes you're
building different structures. That's why you need to be in
communication with your partner. Absolutely, absolutely, So this show that

(01:01:46):
is the end of the relationship. Social media relationship shenanigans.
So this show.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
Was about don't disrespect my mama.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
So what tips can you give two men who feel
like they need to constantly defend mama even when she
is wrong, and at the expense of sacrificing your relationship
with your woman.

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
Hopefully you won't leave the women out who also need
to follow rose.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
I'm asking you as the man I heard what you
say about that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
I'm to answer my question.

Speaker 3 (01:02:25):
I'm just saying the women need some help to so
you're gonna help them out. But I will say that
you have to at some point as an adult. You
can't call yourself grown. If you can't tell your mama
to chill, if you can't tell your auntie, grandma or
whatever the chill, you ain't grown. You're still somebody's little
baby boy. So having kids don't make you grown. Sex

(01:02:47):
and women don't make you grown. Being able to stand
on your own too, and and and say yes or no,
and you're no mean no, and your yes mean yes
is what makes you grown. So if you don't have
the ability to tell your mama to chill out if
she's tripping, if you don't have the ability to tell
your woman to chill out because she's tripping, then you're

(01:03:09):
not the master of your own domain. You're just a bystander.
You're waiting for other people to lead you. So if
you're going to be a man, understand that regardless of
whether you take the way out by doing that or
taking the strong way out, the responsibility and the repercussions
are gonna fall on you anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
All right, Uh, Tiffany says, My tip data dayn Mamaya
hell on him.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Hey, I'm with you, I'm with you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:38):
They do that in Kentucky.

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Oh lord. So my tip would be for the women.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
Understand that when you are in a relationship with someone
that you you know, you care about, and you love,
you should never allow anyone to disrespect them if they
are being a disrespected or people are doing harm to them. First,
even if it is your mother, you need to be

(01:04:07):
woman enough to check your mama, and you need to
be woman enough to to tell your mother that if
she cannot respect your spouse or your man, she she
won't be welcoming in your home. You know what I'm saying,
You won't be welcome. And any functions concerning that both
of you are celebrating, both of you because what you
cannot do is you. It's kind of like when people, uh,

(01:04:31):
when they see the pastor and his wife out and
you address the pastor, hey, past and stuff like that,
and you try to ignore his wife, they wont You
don't get to You don't get to treat me with
with respect and love and then ignore and disrespect my
significant other. That's what you just don't get to do that.
So you need to be want enough to speak up
about that and address that. So in conclusion with this topic,

(01:05:03):
a lot of y'all men need to grow up. Okay,
get off your mama's breasts. Okay, grow a backbone, because
most of y'all do it more than women.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
And check your mama.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
In the middle of an argument between your mama and
your wife or your significant other, shut.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
That down on your mama's side.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
Don't get on your girl if your girl now if
your girl's disrespecting your mama first, that's one thing. But
when your mama interjects and oversteps boundaries and sticking her
nose where it don't belong, or she feels like she
can come into your home and disrespect your significant other,
that's a no no.

Speaker 4 (01:05:41):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
So again, if your mama got them hands better than yours, Lord,
you might you might want to.

Speaker 4 (01:05:48):
Just decide to walk away from that. Nah, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
To If you do that, then be prepared to be
asked to walk away from your relationship too.

Speaker 4 (01:05:57):
Have about that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:59):
That's that's at least one butt whooping that you escaping from.
You're catching hands on the on the other side, her
hands ain't as good as mama's. Honestly, I just feel
like dudes, dudes who are protectors are protectors, and dudes
who ain't ain't. If you teach your son, because this

(01:06:20):
goes back to the mothers, also, if you teach your
sons not to uh, not to be protective of anybody
or not to care about anybody but mama. If you
teach your sons that, then understand that they're not going
to be able to have healthy relationships until they break apart.
From you, so a man, if you're a protector of
that woman that you're supposed to be with, then protect

(01:06:41):
her against everybody.

Speaker 4 (01:06:42):
Including your mama.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
So in conclusion, y'all, make sure y'all go follow Pillow Talk.
You can follow us on Facebook at pillow Talk JQLM.
You can follow us also at the group pillow Talk
on Facebook, and if you would like to be a
guest on the show, just shoot us an email at

(01:07:04):
pillow Talkshow Inquiry at gmail dot com, or go to
www dot ladyj dot co and complete the interview form there.
If you would like to follow Mark B, you can
follow him at the Mark B on Facebook, on Instagram
and then Mark evansingr uh Mark Evan Sr on Twitter,

(01:07:27):
also the Mark B on LinkedIn and the Mark B
on YouTube. You can also go to his website at
www dot dot do markb dot com. Yes he has
a website now courtesy of me. Uh uh, so make
sure you go and follow him there as well. If

(01:07:48):
you would like to follow me Lady J, you can
follow me at ladyjbrand on Facebook, LADYJ on Instagram, and.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
LADYJ on LinkedIn. All right, go to