September 1, 2025 • 52 mins
This episode of "Relationshipology" on JQLM Radio, hosted by Lady J and Keith, explores the topic "Love on the Spectrum," inspired by the Netflix show of the same name. The hosts discuss how people on the autism spectrum approach dating and relationships, compare their openness and honesty to typical dating experiences, and reflect on what the general public can learn from their example. The conversation covers show logistics, the role of matchmaking, the authenticity of connections, and the absence of hidden agendas in dating among people on the spectrum. The hosts also celebrate the show's positive impact and discuss differences between neurotypical and neurodiverse dating practices.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The inspiration for the songs because of you. The inspiration
for the songs because of you, the for the song
because of you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
It's fun you.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Can Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to Relationship Ology right
here on jq l M Radio, a division of Ego
(00:45):
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Speaker 2 (02:25):
All right, all right, all.
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(04:31):
your host tonight, as always, is myself Lady Jay, and.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
We can't hear you Keith full.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Up, we go all right here, I am the boy.
She's told what up? I'll be happy to be.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Back listen and it ain't I ain't nothing like it.
So y'all are tuning in to relationship ology of course.
Smart topic tonight is love on the spectrum. Now, I
know some of you have watched this show. Okay, Keith
brought this to my attention. I've only seen clips. I
haven't watched the entire s show, But Love on the
Spectrum should we be following you know that example?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Are we doing it wrong? Like that's what we're talking
about tonight, so keep go ahead, off.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
I was introduced to this show this past weekend, and
basically what the show is is that people aren't familiar
with the spectrum. They talk about autism, and they're talking
about autistic people you know, searching for love and me personally,
I truly believe like if you just watch one episode,
(05:35):
I swear there's no way you cannot watch one episode
and not feel joyful. Like you feel joyful, you feel hopeful,
Like there is no way you can watch an episode
of Love on a Spectrum and not be like, Yo,
they got it right, because all they're looking for is
(05:56):
what we all should be looking for, is somebody who's
compatible to them, Somebody who you know, have the same
kind of similarities, you know, someone with the purpose, somebody
who is selfless in wanting to be a partner and
a you know, confidante to each other. And I just
(06:17):
think it's so dope that that's all they want. They
just want to I really want a companion through life,
and they could care less about if you make six
figures or where.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
You work, how you work.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
As long as you're just productive in the com person,
that's all they care about. And they're so brutally honest
because I mean, I don't know, if you know, for
people who've never been around artistic people, like I don't
want they're brutally honest, like children are, you know, a
kid tell you the truth and a heartbeat boy, they
don't care if your feelings is or not. And that's
(06:52):
kind of how they are a spectrum, like not to
you know, say that their childlike, but it's just the
brutal honesty, like don'g be like, hey, I don't feel
a love connection to ear, but I like you as
a friend and we still be friends. That I'm like, yeah, sure,
and they literally.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Right now.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
We also have to take into account though, that some
people who are autistic, Now, there are a different ends
of the spectrum. Some are high functioning, some are not,
and then there are some who are unable to actually
have show let's say, authentic emotion.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
They mimic what others do.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And so when it comes and knowing people who are
autistic myself and being around people are artistic, you know,
you have different different, you know, levels on the spectrum,
and so those who are very high functioning, like the
ones on this show, you know they are able to
gauge those things. Now I want to say too, even
though I haven't seen any clips with individuals with down
(07:52):
syndrome dating, they too are extremely loving people, loving people
you want to know how to exhibit true authentic like
a gape love, they would be the ones to follow.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
So I love the show.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
It is now one of my new favorite shows. Like
there's no way you can watch this show and not
find joy. If you can't find joy, and watching this show,
you you somebody who's just dot like happiness.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
So let me ask you this. Because we only got
an hour, we got to get it all in. That's
just when looking at the show and how we date
versus how those on the spectrum are dating as it
pertains to the show. And shout out to Adrian, Hey,
I say you tuning in and all of you who
are tuning in radio in so those watching how we date? Right,
(08:46):
So when we date, we see somebody we you know,
wo she find or ooh he fine, he looked good
or look at what he driving or whatever the case.
They be in in you know, you shoot a shot,
maybe exchange numbers and things of that sort. So based
on how we date versus how they date, what do
you think is the difference in the initial meeting and
(09:09):
is their example better than what we do when we
initially meet someone who we may be interested in.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
There's no hitting agendas. That's the first thing I'll noticed
right out the gate by watching this show. There are
absolutely no hitting agendas. Like they genuinely want both want
the same thing. I want to find someone that is
compatible to me, that understands me, that's willing to learn
with me, that's willing to go through life with me.
(09:40):
That's like I mean, that's really like the baseline for
all of them. Like for people who've never seen the show,
I'm going to kind of explain it a little bit.
The show is they find they find a handful of
people that they kind of you know, circle around. So
like my favorite, my favorite person to watch on this show,
(10:00):
his name is Connor.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I love this dude.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
He is like he is so good, you know what
I'm saying, Like like his spectrum, he is so energetic,
he's so he could be all over the place. But
the young lady that he's dating now, she is so
dope for him. They compliment each other very well, like
it's a show that you have.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
To see this. So hold on, So how did they to?
How did they meet?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Though?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, I want to know what is.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
What is their initial meeting versus ours?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, oh no, it's the same.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
So like they have a dating coach, you know what
I'm saying, the kind of matchmaker a little bit, and
you know, put them together. They going speed dates. Okay,
so they do.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
They do it.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Like speed dating, and they have a matchmaker.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Now, I'm gonna tell you right now, a lot of
us I hear the people who be matchmaking us. No
absolutely those who be playing matchmaker, No, absolutely not, because
most of us, if we're being honest, if we are
set up by somebody we know, most of our alves.
I'm well, let me back up. A lot of us
(11:11):
are set up by people that we know. Either somebody
don't wisper their saying, hey what about your friend over here,
like let them know what I like them or something,
or you going to your friend or your you know,
family member.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
They're like, hey, I got this homeboy or got this homegirl.
You know, I think it'd be dope for you.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
And nine times out of ten and it ain't really
a good match you. I think I'm only be a
match with one person that I actually married, but that
it turned out right.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That was my first husband.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
So but you know, we got two beautiful kids, you know,
so children, and yeah, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So okay. So they have they on speed days.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
They have a matchmaker now when they are dating, though,
are they left to are they left them their own
when they're dating? Are their specific except questions that they
asked while on the date?
Speaker 5 (11:56):
What you the ones deal with them on a day?
I love I mean I love this show like this
is my new I tell you this is one of
my top five shows out right now. I promise you
it is one of the top five shows. Like okay,
for anybody that know me, they know my show was
(12:17):
Suits and Snowfall.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
This is kind of up there with it.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
I love me some snoop suits, I love me some Snowfall,
and I also I also got to throw this in too.
I absolutely love Law Order. I've always been a law
or fair but this show right here, like, I don't
anybody know me. No, I don't do reality shows at all.
This is the perfect reality show because they can't be scripted.
(12:46):
You cannot script the person. Really, you just can't script
up because they're gonna say with promotion they feel you
know what I'm saying, like, like, I'm telling you what
you got to see my.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Point hold on? Greg said, they don't send a representative.
I want us to stay on topic because we got
to get through everything.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
So they don't. Let's see, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
They don't send a representative.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
So what questions are different that they ask or do
they ask any questions on the dates that we don't listen?
Speaker 5 (13:14):
They ask all the questions that we ask for the
most part, outside of outside of finding out what someone has,
they ask all the right questions on who they are.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
See.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
I think all too often we get caught up and
you know what someone has, You're like, what do you
work at?
Speaker 4 (13:33):
What do you do? Okay? Fine, you know? Where do
you live or do you live on.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
The east side, west side? Do you live in the house,
you live in an apartment, do you live a town home?
Do you live a condo? Like, people ask about what
it is that you.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Have mm hmm right, And so the difference then is
that they ask who the person is. So what we
should be asking is background or character questions in essence,
and it looks like Keith is having a little bit
of technical issues. But so, yeah, okay, when dating, we
(14:08):
should be asking background or character questions right to get
to know what type of individual the person is. However,
there are some questions that we should not ask because
a lot of people can pretend to be yeah, I'm saying,
pretend to be what what we desire.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Based off of the questions that they're asking, And I
think there's.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
A polite way to redirect the conversation when somebody asks, like.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Where you looking for, you know, saying in a man
or what are you looking for in a woman?
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Those are the questions that you don't ask, right because
I'm not great, you are rundown.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So you can.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Then exactly so with this show, love on the spectrum
because they don't have any underlying motives or hitting agendas,
and they are not sending a representative They are actually
being themselves. Now, not to say that people who are
who are out here dating nobody, you know, is themselves,
(15:04):
but it's a very very small percentage for people who
they and are themselves and don't center representative. So when
they are are doing that, when they do find a
love connection, curious to know if you have run in
at what does that look like? Because I did watch
where Tanner I think his name is Tanner. He was
on the show and he got to meet Jack Black
(15:25):
and they asked him about the young lady that he
that was interested in him, and she asked like she
was He was like, yeah, she asked me to be
her boyfriend, but I said no. Like now if you
if a woman asked you to be her man and
you just outright said no, and then that was it,
Like you ain't they want an explanation and they want God.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
To be hot.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Right But and because a lot of us know it's
a complete sentence, like I don't have to explain to
You're not going to ask you question if I say yes, right,
So why do I need to give you an explanation
when I say no? So what does that look like
for them? Like do all of them just say hey
will you meet my girlfriend? Or hey will you beat
my boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (16:06):
And so dyal listen, we kind of mean you talk
about this other day.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
But for the for the audience who got the inside
of our conversation. So what happened is there's an episode
where like dude was like, hey, I don't feel a
love connection here. I don't think we're a match. He's like,
but I like you, you're a good person. Can we still
be friends? And she's like sure? And that was that
they was cool and they are cool. So now they're
(16:32):
in a whole another season and there's a girl that
he's into, he's interested in, and he's into and he
actually invited the girls that he are cool with now
with the coup was with one of his male friends
do and like they was at like a cookout or
something at his house, you know, and they was just
(16:53):
hanging out, like they were just really ainting out as friends.
I was sitting there thinking to myself, how adult it's that,
because let me let you know right now, I can
imagine me telling somebody after a date, hey I don't
really feel love collection here. I just think you cool,
you know, can we be friends? She might be like, yeah, sure,
(17:17):
but I'm gonna let you know that girlfriend conversation.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
That she's gonna have with her girlfriends.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
Oh man, chances know, I ain't gonna I'm not gonna
be that dude, you know what I'm saying, it's gonna
it's gonna go a whole nother way.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
It's gonna be like girl, he has the nerve to tell.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Me I ain't this type, and I was like, yo, like, hey,
I don't know about nobody else, but I'm not ready
to eat for everybody.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Right absolutely.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Now, Now let's get into what rejection or how we
should respond to rejection because we've talked, we've mentioned a
little bit about how people who are under spectrum, you know,
with our how this show portrays, how they date, how
they interact with people, how they say, you know, no,
(18:05):
I'm not interested. Let's shift into what should we be
doing those who are not on the spectrum. How should
we be responding when it comes to rejection? Not a
map that we're not a match, you know? Is it
that we have to be you know, our stakes sweet
when it comes to our words, and I say, you
(18:25):
have to be mean and nasty. But a lot of
people think me mean being sweet means beaty. But you
know you can still be you know, on point clear,
you know blunt.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Without me.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Right, it's not how you said, So you hold on,
wait before you.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Go into that, before you go into that. We gotta
take a quick break. So y'all, don't go nowhere. If
you are cooking dinner on the road or whatever, tap
into jqul on radio through the app. All right, go
to the website if you want, you go entertainment that
dot com first, JQL dash Radio. Get it on your
alex or whatever. All right, listen, why you're doing your thing.
(19:03):
Hold tight, don't go anywhere. We're gonna take a quick break,
all right. And we are talking about love on the Spectrum.
This is relationship Ology here on JQLM Radio.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
All right.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
So for those of you who are just tuning in,
you are tuned in to relationship Ology with your girl, Lady.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Jay and your boy Keith Oulmore.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Right here on JQL on Radio, division of Ego Entertainment Network.
And we've been talking about love on the Spectrum. Should
we be mimicking or following their example, those who are
autistic and how they are dating as portrayed on this
show Love on the Spectrum, this new show Love on
the Spectrum. So before the break, we were talking about,
(19:48):
you know, what should we be doing or how should
we be responding to rejection? Like when we decide that oh,
this person's not a good fit or we're not compatible.
Because let's be honest, a lot of people get in
their feelings, they're mad, they're upset, you all kind of names.
They're going to talk to they homies or their homegirls
and tell them about you know, it's almost like, how
(20:09):
dare you as if you're going to be everyone's cup
of tea?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's just not realistic.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
So what are some of the things that we should
be doing in response to.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Someone letting us know that, hey, we're not a good fit.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
You know, I'm always a must speak on it, you
know what I'm saying, Like, I don't like to leave
someone with an idea that, oh, there's going to be
a second date.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
You know what I'm saying. Or you know.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Now they constantly in contact with me and I'm not
feeling them. So I that's not my program. I'm the
kind of person that I'm blunt. I'm gonna be upfront
with it. Hey, listen, I like you, but I don't
see us being a couple. But like, I like you,
so I would much rather still get to know who
(21:03):
you are as a person and maybe you know, we
could be something outside of the couple. Maybe we could
be friends, you know, And so that's usually typically my
approach with it. I've been met with mixed you know,
mixed replies with that. I got a lot, you know,
quite a few women are cool with it, and I'm
(21:24):
still cool with all them to this day. And then
there's some women that's almost appalled, like I, dare you
not like me? You know what I'm saying, Like, what's
wrong with you that you don't like me?
Speaker 4 (21:35):
I mean, I'm not.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Attracted to you, you know, Like so when you say that,
that's even more offensive to them. I'm not attracted to you.
I find you attracted, But that don't mean I have
to be attracted to you. We just I mean, there's
just certain things that you like that I don't like.
There's certain things that I like that you ain't rocking with.
(21:58):
You know, we have where I when it comes to
raising children, how y'all you know we're gonna laise them.
We are eyes on how our household is supposed to
be read mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
H m hmmm.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I think for me, nine times out of ten, don't
I'm not even gonna want to be a friend.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Like that's just if.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
We're not we're not compatible, then yes, it's gonna be
a nough for me because see, and because you are
already interested in me.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I don't want there to be any.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
You know, misunderstanding as far as whether you think you
got a chance, if you know, or any of that.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
So I'm probably not going to be your friend.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I'll you know, you're somebody who maybe you know, I've
met your acquaintance.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Now.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
If we were in a relationship already, you know, we
decided to split ways and we're cool, that's one thing.
But if we're just meeting and we went on a
couple of dates not aside, Yeah, this is probably not
gonna be you know what's the best for me, and
we're not compatible and I'm not interested in moving forward.
We're not going to be friends. Nine times understanding that Again,
(23:07):
it's nothing personal. It's just that, like I said, at
being a female and being in that situation way too
many times because you always think that there is a chance.
You always think that there's a chance, and then I've
had real life stalkers and I'm not trying to deal
with none of that, you know, like, just no, just
to shut it down.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
I get it, I get it. I totally get it.
Fortunately I've not had that situation or hold on, I've
had I've had a stalker too.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
I take that back. I have had a stalk too,
dang man.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I have in real life in myies and early thirties
when I happened, so you know, we me moving to
a passince then you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
I don't have those issues.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Now now, But when okay, So when when it's not
amicable okay, and one person decides that you know, I'm
not attracted to you or this is not going to work,
and the other person completely flips out. Because I've had
people and I've had dudes, you know, cuss me out.
(24:09):
And nowadays you've seen videos where men will like they
never try to kill you when you don't want to
talk to them, and it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know, one lady got as in her face. It
was just crazy.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So when people flip all the way out, like, how
do you respond? Because you shouldn't be scared to say no.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
You got to make sure you like well, First of all,
I've always told my sisters, cousins, female friends, make sure
you're in public with people you don't have a real
good clue or handle one. So you know what, the
first time date you all are going to meet up,
don't allow him to come to your home. Go meet
that person, you know, meet them out. In fact, I
(24:48):
am a I am a huge component of because you know,
I got a lot of female friends. I actually probably
have more feofa for than male friends that are friends too.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
You know what I'm saying. I mean I got people
that I got.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I got female friends I've been rocking with for fifteen
twenty thirty years, you know what I'm saying. And so
you know my circle friends, we all kind of hang
out together. Like no, we have different social circles, but
we all know each other. We might not all hang
(25:21):
out all the time, but you know, Dana knows Lamont,
Lamont knows christ Christy knows Adam, Adam knows Keeper Keisha Nose,
Derrick Dereck knows TJ TJ.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (25:36):
Like, so we all know each other, we all mirror
with each other. We've all you know, we all are
kind of cut the same way too, you know what
I mean. So nobody got something new. I'll get a
phone call sometimes to be like yo, I kind of
want you to check him out, tell me what you think,
you know, like I why don't keep bringing him to
(25:57):
this ebit so that pressure of someone like they being
set up, you know, to be critique, right, but also
you in a public space with the love and trust.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Right now when we talk about the difference between those
who are on the spectrum and us when it comes
to conflict, because I've seen, you know, some autistic people
when so they are really they are really focused on
and do well with a consistent what do you want
(26:34):
to call it?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
A consistent routine? Right, and when you get.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Out of that routine, it kind of you know, causes
them to have a lot of anxiety or throws them off.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
A lot of them.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
And so and when they're unhappy or they can't do
something or have something, a lot of them kind of
you know, have their little episode where they flip out,
you know, and.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Sometimes sometimes they can be violent.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
But with those of us who are not on the
spectrum that are not I'll say, or we were not
taught how to have self control when we can't get
our way or when someone does something that we don't like,
a lot of us, you know, we allow our emotions
to drive us and so in that regard, I think
(27:17):
that we are the same. So what would you say
is the difference or is there anything that we should
be paying attention to or following when it comes to
an example of those who are on the spectrum and
those who are not when it comes to conflict.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
Well, I think on the spectrum because they deal with
you know people for the most further, they are very
high functional. I think there's a lot of interviewing and
you know, kind of look before before they even get
on the show that I'm quite sure that I'm soon
try to figure out that this person would be good
(27:54):
for TV because I've seen I'm just going to the
first shows off a tweaking. There was a gentleman on
there that he was nervous, and when he's nervous, like
he he just kind of like squat over. He was
(28:14):
at the stable day, like he was laying his head
at the table mm hmm, you know when we're talking
to the date, because he was just nervous, and that
kind of helped calm him, you know what. And they
had to you know, actually move from the inside of
the restaurant to the outside of the restaurant on the patio.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
He was more relaxed. Okay, so there's this.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
I think there's a I would gather there's an endy
process and a.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
Like a I don't even want to meet and meek,
but more like a.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
Trial run to hang out with the person or so
to see how they functioned throughout the normway, you know
what I mean, so they can understand, Okay, this person
would be good for the show, but this person we
might have some issues because of this or you know,
I think there's an extensive you know, back down figured
(29:11):
out who would be good and who wouldn't. They're not
just you know, sunting as if we would be selected
put on the Bachelor or all, you know what I mean, right.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
And then even though even some of the people who
aren't on the show, because I mean, let's be honest,
there are other people that aren't on the show that
are out here dating with you know, on the spectrum,
you know, and even those who are all like let's say,
Pop the Balloon. I hate that show, but you know,
Top the Balloon. But I mean, not everybody you're going
(29:41):
to see on TV. And I just thought that, you know,
that was interesting too when it comes to conflict, because
when you are dating, Yes, you're getting to know the person,
but a lot of times you still are going to
have conversations where either you're gonna have to agree to
disagree because you're not going to agree on anything. And
and that's when you start to learn whether or not Okay,
(30:03):
this is somebody who I could see myself with, or
this is somebody.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Who I know I don't see myself with.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
You know, So when it comes to like I said,
those who are under spectrum, their response to things that
make them uncomfortable or anxiety or you know, things they
didn't like, it's completely different in ours. And it's then
the way we would deal with it. But then again
it's not I don't want to say something that they
(30:30):
can't control, but in essence it is you know what
I mean.
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Like it's a process, it's just how you like. For example,
for the long it's like a lot of people don't
understand don't know dom dyslexic, So like it surprises a
whole lot of people when they actually be like, wait,
hold on, you just like you know, but you read well,
you do this.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Well.
Speaker 5 (30:51):
Look, it took a whole lot of you know, trial
and error and training for me to disguise it to
where you don't know it.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
I mean, I'm fifty, so for fifty years I figured
out how to you know, blend did but your boys
like you know, if I'm reading this sentence, I have
to concentrate because if I'm not, I will mess around
and read that thing in diagonal instead of straight across.
I would be on paragraph number six and I just
(31:23):
started the first paragraph.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
You know what I'm saying. I mean, it's just.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
So so it's just how you process it. And a
lot of them, like especially if you watch the show,
you'll see somebody way more higher functioning than some of
the other ones. But what you will see is you
will see a genuine a genuine want to and a genuine.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
Willingness.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
And I think it, I just think it's so dump
like this is why it's my new favorite show, because
there is not like even when the couples, even when
it's not a good match, it gets with it typically
ends well like they like we could be friends, sure
to be friends, and it's just so genuine, like you
could tell it's about, hey, we could be friends. Ain't
(32:11):
gonna talk to you ever again? Yeah, like we can
friends and three days later they'll all just have a
cool conversation.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
And I think another interesting aspect of it would be
the intimacy. So we all know that a lot of
autistic people don't like touch, and then there are some
who are overly you know, so no.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Oh, I'm all right now. And there's a young lady.
Speaker 5 (32:40):
She's hating this dude they've been dating for and she
trying to get busy.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Like when I say she's trying to get busy, she
try to get busy. She she she won't you, I'll
tell you.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
And my guy's Catholic, he don't believe in premiary little
six mm hmm. If I don't want to spoil it
for nobody, ways, I ain't gonna talk too much about it.
But these are the things that they actually show on
the show. Like she actually made an animation like a
(33:14):
comic book like like like almost like a comic book
animation on her tablet of them, you know, going on
the date, and at the end of the day it
is with them going to bed together.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Mm hm.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
Like it's I was like, like, look, betty girl want
to get busy, and she has this open conversation with
her parents. You know, her parents was like and they're
very supportive and they you know, they talk to her
about it.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
It's what I love is I love.
Speaker 5 (33:40):
To find like they have a family dynamic as well,
because these families aren't all with each other. You know
what I'm saying, Because like I said, if you haven't
been around autistic people, you know, these families they've been
patient with these people their whole lives. You know the
level O don't man, listen. I don't even know if
(34:02):
I could be that patient. I'll praive that I can be.
I pray that I can be. But I'm trying to
tell you, like just watching the show, you can see
the challenges. You can see it, and that's what's making
it even more encouraging because these families are so like
there's a couple now they've been together for three years.
(34:24):
For three years, this couple have been together. They've been
season one, they had Season three and they've been together
for three years. And these families have been together for
three years. Because these families can tolly understand what each
other's going through and they see the growth, and I
think that's the beauty of it. You see the growth
of these individuals, but you see the growth as a
(34:44):
couple as well, and you see how they calm each other.
You see how you like there's like this my favorite,
my favorite person on the show.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
His name is Connor.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
I love Connor. Connor is like he's so dope to me.
But he was so nervous and so frazzled by his
girlfriend because he thinks she's the beautiful thing of the world.
And as he should, like he found his match, because
it ain't been easy for him to find his match,
but he found this If she is a perfect match
(35:17):
for him, how she like she's able to get help
control his anxiety when he's about walthor rails. She could
calm him down in it, like with a snap of
I think that things to say.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I think that a lot of I've seen some autistic
people in relationships with non autistic people. One of the
shows that I love that I watched was I Believe
the Good Doctor, and the doctor plays an arctic guy
and he's in a relationship and Mary's and has a
child with someone who is not autistic, but someone who
(35:53):
is sensitive to his condition, right, And so I think
that having that dynamic, you know, that say that opposites
are tract you have to be a person with patients
in order to in order to navigate someone. So apparently
he's extremely high functioning. He's a surgeon. He's phenomenal you
know at what he does, and super smart, but he
(36:15):
still has challenges social challenges, you know, again with interacting
with Yes, he's able to love, he's able to be
he he doesn't. He has a hard time, let's say
empathy if you will, having badside matam. He just says things,
you know, blunt to the point. And so when you
think about something like that and you think about relationships
(36:38):
and dating, I think that a lot of us who
are not on the spectrum, we have to see each
other through the kind of like their eyes, the way
that they see each other, and those who are open
to dating.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Someone who is on the spectrum, because.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
If you think about it, we can equate that with
us showing grace, right, uh, if you think about it, So, hey,
what's up a deal?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
If you think about it, we can equate that with
us showing grace.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Because you have to be a special kind of person
to be able to deal with those those social issues.
You know what I'm saying that that person has the
because it some of it entails, you know what I'm saying,
how they may respond and reacts to maybe something that
you're going through a crisis that you're going through.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
Back, it's physically football game.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Right, yeah, absolutely, hold on, yes, So hold on guys,
we have to take another break real quick, and when
we come back, we're going to like give our final
thoughts on the topic and maybe get some tips and
tools on what we can do to be more authentic
(37:54):
and a more genuine person without hitting.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Agendas when we are dating.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Because I mean, let's be honest, this day pool is
it's for the birds, you understand me, Because I don't
want no parts of it.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So stick to state, don't go anywhere. You are tuned in.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
You are tuned into relationship Ology with your girl, Lady
Jay and Keith Omar right here on JQLM Radio, a
division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
All right, and we are back.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
You are tuned into Relationship Ology with your girl, Lady
Jay and Keith Omar right here on JQ Fulham Radio,
division of Ego Entertainment Network. So we've been talking about
love on the spectrum and how it differs or how
it is similar to how those of us who are
(38:48):
not on the spectrum dates. And so we talked about
the initial interaction, the conversation with decided whether or not
you're going to move forward, were to be a couple.
We talked about some of the social you know, barriers,
some of the intimacy you know. We talked a little
(39:08):
bit about intimacy and how what that may look like
for those who are in the spectrum with those who
are not. Of course, those who are not we have
lost our ever loving minds. We're not even gonna get
to that. That's a whole other show on other show,
because some of us be jumping from bed to bed.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
But anyway, let's see.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
And we talked about rejection and so what does that
look like when they reject each other, not in a
bad way, but just saying, hey, you know, this is
not gonna work for me, or we aren't compatible or
I'm not attracted to you, versus how those of us
who are not on the spectrum respond. So, in giving
our final thoughts on the topic, what would you say
(39:45):
and give us some tips? What would you say are
some of the things that we could learn from them?
And how we should implement them.
Speaker 5 (39:52):
Number one that stood out to me is you know,
the genuine me trying to get to know that person.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
It ain't about who you know, that's not about what
they have, where they work, you know, where they went
to school, what kind of degree they got this, that.
And the third, it's all about the character of the person.
It's just a good person. Is that person not only
a good person? Do they want to treat me? Is
that person gonna be patient enough with me? Do they
want to learn and grow with me?
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Like? You know? Then you we just look for those things.
That's it. They keep it real simple.
Speaker 5 (40:27):
And when when you see them find somebody, you literally
see it, you be like, yo, that's a perfect fit,
Like you be looking at them like they found it,
they got it. It's a perfect fit. And I honestly
believe it's a perfect fit because they just went to
the foundation and they figure you know, like I think
(40:49):
all relationships should be. It's all about the character because
if we're gonna build together, we're gonna get to where
we want to go.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Absolutely, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Now now you said something that that's a topic.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
For another day. You know, building together.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
A lot of us want people who are already fully
built and have their own empire built and all that
kind of stuff. Meanwhile, they don't even they ain't even
start it on their own. So let's just start there.
They don't have no bricks. But when it comes to
the initial interaction, the fact that they don't send representatives
and they are literally being themselves, authentically being themselves. They're
(41:30):
not trying to be like anyone else. They're not trying
to meet your you know, unrealistic list of expectations and
all this other kind of stuff like it is, this
is who I am. This is what you get. If
you like me, great, if you don't, great, you know,
And that's what it should be for us as well.
That's how it should be.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
And we should be able.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
To sit down with somebody and not feel like we
have to be somebody else just for somebody else to
like us. Right if you're if you are unattracted to
someone the very first time you meet them, If y'all
have just like met online or on a dating app
or something like that, and you meet them a person
and you're not attracting them, and you know it, how
about just being honest in a polite way, all right
(42:16):
when you meet them and don't string the person along,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
And then if you are the person on the receiving.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
End of you know, hey, you know unfortunately, I don't
think this is gonna work. I'm just not feeling you
know this as much as I thought I would, Or
I'm not attracted to you. Fine, just say hey, okay,
y'all decide to be friends.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Are cool? Great? If not great?
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I think that we have got to get to a
point where we understand that we are not for everybody,
and everybody is not for us.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
It's you shouldn't take it personal.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
And a lot I think the problem is, and I'm
gonna just say it, is that a lot of us
think we are, I'll say, on all levels higher than
what we are, than what we really are when it
to the physical appearance. Because you may be a two
to this person over here, but to this person over here,
(43:07):
you may be a seven or eight. It just depends
on the person's preferences and what they deem as attractive.
Just because you're attractive to this person over here and
this person over here, doesn't mean that this person over
here is gonna find you attractive and that's just it
or your personality. Maybe they person if you're a messy
person or a toxic Nine times in out of team
people who are not messy, they're not topic toxic, they're
(43:29):
not gonna like your personality. You know what I'm saying.
And that's just it just is what it is. So
I think have to be more realistic about who we
are and what we are and what we like. Because
if you are not complimenting what you're looking for, that's
not gonna work. And so when day, I think we
(43:49):
have to keep that in mind. Don't just look at
what you want, but look at who you are, because
who you are is going to have a or gonna
play a in what you attract.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
Agree, I told you. Another thing too, is we don't
need to think. It's kind of like this. I always said,
understand that you you are flawed.
Speaker 4 (44:16):
You know.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
I think all too often a lot of people intend
to think that they're perfect, like you know, like they're
like they are the answer to every tests. It's fine
to know that you're flawed, and it's fine to know
that you're not for everybody. Like I tell people all
the time, I'm I am not ready to eat for everybody.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
I'm not.
Speaker 5 (44:35):
I understand that, And honestly, I worry if you are
somebody who's you know, consider yourself that could be with anybody,
because you definitely not for me, you know what I'm saying,
Because that means anybody have access to you a certain way,
you know. So that's just something to think about, Like
I have never known a rare treasure to be something
(44:59):
that everybody can obtain.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (45:03):
Right, if you're thinking yourself as a precious gem, where
you think of yourself as something that's rare and unique, that,
how the hell can everybody be, you know, have access
to it?
Speaker 3 (45:14):
That part that part end. On top of that, I'd
say that we also have to stop being so shallow
while they are looking at It reminds me how God
looks at our hearts, you know what I'm saying. He
sees the heart. He doesn't see the outward. He sees
what's inside. And I think that a lot of us,
(45:35):
if we use discernment more, we would choose better. And
if we learn from the lessons, if we implemented the
lessons that we learn based on the mistakes that we've
made in the past, we would also choose better, continue
to choose better, like continue to elevate.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
As we go through that process, I think that we
have to stop being so shallow. Okay, this person may
be and I'm not saying if you're attractive, for instance,
to somebody that is is petite or just a little thick,
you know, and that person is not, I say, more
billy o beasts. But if they are a little bit
heavier than what you like, that's something that can be changed.
(46:11):
You know what I'm saying. They can lose weight. You
know what I'm saying, They need me exactly, but if they.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
Need everything else has changed over the years.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Absolutely a lot of us are going to go up
and down. But I'm just saying I'm using it as
an example, like that can be changed. Y'all work out together.
But this person meets all you know, they meet all
your other all the other qualities that you're looking.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
For in a husband or a wife. It's same thing
for women.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Okay, maybe he don't have, you know, a ferrari or
a car. First of all, girl, you riding the bus,
so you lucky if he got anything. But anyway, if
he don't have a ferrari or making you know, one
hundred K year, but he had seventy k a year,
and he's a great father, and he owned his own
house and all other kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Girl, you dumb if you don't jump on a egg.
And he is your preface.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
But it looks like we have to stop being so
shallow and start looking at the person because what happens
is a lot of us we get so caught up
in the materialism and the surface stuff that.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
We forget that.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
I also happy that we also have to take inventory
of who the person is because Okay, you get with
them and now they're hitting you upside the head, or
now this person is cheating on you, and now that
personally what I'm saying, So you you was concerned about
all our own stuff.
Speaker 5 (47:26):
M you know, yeah, And that's why I think they
get it right, because they're just truly looking for a
good person to navigate through life with for the rest
of their life. That you know, that's willing. And I
use the word willing because just imagine how difficult it
is for two people to be on the spectrum and
(47:47):
they know they have they have they certain hang ups,
but then will to work through those to go through
life together. Yeah, you know, I think that. I just
think it's so dope. I love the show. Whoever came
up with this idea, whoever came up with it, God
bless them, because man, like, this is a show that,
(48:09):
you know, I think everybody should watch because there's no
way you can watch a full episode and not find
joy in it. And unless you're us, unless you just
every needs the schools every day, I mean, or the Devil,
there's no way you can't find joy in watching this show.
(48:29):
Like you find yourself rooted for people, You find yourself
liking certain couples together, you know what I'm saying, Like,
you find yourself invested in one episode in an hour's time.
I got three new people, Like I got three favorite people.
I'm like, Okay, I like Connor. I like my boy Tyler,
you know, Like I'm like, yo, I got people that
(48:51):
I rock with. I'm watching, Like I literally, I feel
like Connor Shall have his own show. Like he's that animated.
It's honest, though you don't feel like he's so honest.
And I love his family, Like, I like how they
interact with him. I like how the families are invested
in the girlfriends and the boyfriends and the people that
(49:13):
they date like it's it's just dope, you know what
I'm saying, It's a dope show.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Yeah, So you know, this is an interesting conversation. And
for those who you know want to go check out
the show, I would suggest that you do go check
out the show because maybe you can get a few pointers.
And when it comes to dating and determining you know,
how you should interact and what questions you should ask
and how you should present yourself to someone you know
(49:41):
instead of, you know, trying to be someone that you're not.
And really, when you feel like you have to do
that you have to become someone that you're not just
to get the attention of somebody else, then that person
one is definitely not for you because if they don't
like you for you or love you for you, then they're.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Not for you.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
And two, that says a lot about how you see
yourself and how comfortable you are in your own identity
and so and if you don't know who you are,
then you definitely don't need to be dating until you
meet you, until you know who you are, and until
you can own who you are. And while votelying at
and so because nobody deserves to be with I'll say
(50:16):
a representative, you know, or a made up individual. Nobody
deserves to be catfish in that way.
Speaker 5 (50:24):
Yeah, I forgate you dooping them because you are not
what it is I love.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
For right, absolutely absolutely, So we are down to the
last minute and a half of the show. Make sure
you all go subscribe now to Ego Entertainmentnet dot com
so that you stay up today on opportunities, events and
all kind of stuff that's coming your way. Go register
also or subscribe for free to Ego TV Network dot Live.
(50:52):
That's Ego TV Network dot Live. Of course, again you
all know our movie I said, Suicide is on there.
We have some other content on there, and new content
is coming your way this Sunday.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
So y'all know we have been in.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
Production since February, so we are rolling out all of
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sas Sexy, Ambitious, Sophisticated Chat on Ego TV. That's an
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Behind the Fame web series that's on there now as well.
(51:26):
So make sure that you all go subscribe, you go
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that you're gonna watch on your television if you want,
you can watch you on the website as I said,
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And also get your tickets Buford, South Carolina and Kansas City, Missouri.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Get your tickets for the Don't Give Up Tour.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Go to Ego Entertainment net dot com, forward slash Events
and choose whatever city you want to go two for
the tour. Get your tickets now, all right. And you've
been tuned into Relationship Ology with your girl Lady.
Speaker 4 (52:07):
Jay and your boy Keith Omar.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
All right, and until next time, y'all, We will see
y'all on the fourth, yeah, yeah, fourth Thursday of this morning,
all right, for Relationship Alogy right here on j q
l M Radio.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
See y'all later. The inspiration for the songs because of you.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
The inspiration for the songs because of you, The for
the song because of you.
The inspiration for the songs because of you. The inspiration
for the songs because of you, the for the song
because of you.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
It's fun you.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Can Hey, hey, hey, welcome back to Relationship Ology right
here on jq l M Radio, a division of Ego
(00:45):
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All right, all right, all.
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(04:31):
your host tonight, as always, is myself Lady Jay, and.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
We can't hear you Keith full.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Up, we go all right here, I am the boy.
She's told what up? I'll be happy to be.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Back listen and it ain't I ain't nothing like it.
So y'all are tuning in to relationship ology of course.
Smart topic tonight is love on the spectrum. Now, I
know some of you have watched this show. Okay, Keith
brought this to my attention. I've only seen clips. I
haven't watched the entire s show, But Love on the
Spectrum should we be following you know that example?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Are we doing it wrong? Like that's what we're talking
about tonight, so keep go ahead, off.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
I was introduced to this show this past weekend, and
basically what the show is is that people aren't familiar
with the spectrum. They talk about autism, and they're talking
about autistic people you know, searching for love and me personally,
I truly believe like if you just watch one episode,
(05:35):
I swear there's no way you cannot watch one episode
and not feel joyful. Like you feel joyful, you feel hopeful,
Like there is no way you can watch an episode
of Love on a Spectrum and not be like, Yo,
they got it right, because all they're looking for is
(05:56):
what we all should be looking for, is somebody who's
compatible to them, Somebody who you know, have the same
kind of similarities, you know, someone with the purpose, somebody
who is selfless in wanting to be a partner and
a you know, confidante to each other. And I just
(06:17):
think it's so dope that that's all they want. They
just want to I really want a companion through life,
and they could care less about if you make six
figures or where.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
You work, how you work.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
As long as you're just productive in the com person,
that's all they care about. And they're so brutally honest
because I mean, I don't know, if you know, for
people who've never been around artistic people, like I don't
want they're brutally honest, like children are, you know, a
kid tell you the truth and a heartbeat boy, they
don't care if your feelings is or not. And that's
(06:52):
kind of how they are a spectrum, like not to
you know, say that their childlike, but it's just the
brutal honesty, like don'g be like, hey, I don't feel
a love connection to ear, but I like you as
a friend and we still be friends. That I'm like, yeah, sure,
and they literally.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Right now.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
We also have to take into account though, that some
people who are autistic, Now, there are a different ends
of the spectrum. Some are high functioning, some are not,
and then there are some who are unable to actually
have show let's say, authentic emotion.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
They mimic what others do.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And so when it comes and knowing people who are
autistic myself and being around people are artistic, you know,
you have different different, you know, levels on the spectrum,
and so those who are very high functioning, like the
ones on this show, you know they are able to
gauge those things. Now I want to say too, even
though I haven't seen any clips with individuals with down
(07:52):
syndrome dating, they too are extremely loving people, loving people
you want to know how to exhibit true authentic like
a gape love, they would be the ones to follow.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
So I love the show.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
It is now one of my new favorite shows. Like
there's no way you can watch this show and not
find joy. If you can't find joy, and watching this show,
you you somebody who's just dot like happiness.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
So let me ask you this. Because we only got
an hour, we got to get it all in. That's
just when looking at the show and how we date
versus how those on the spectrum are dating as it
pertains to the show. And shout out to Adrian, Hey,
I say you tuning in and all of you who
are tuning in radio in so those watching how we date? Right,
(08:46):
So when we date, we see somebody we you know,
wo she find or ooh he fine, he looked good
or look at what he driving or whatever the case.
They be in in you know, you shoot a shot,
maybe exchange numbers and things of that sort. So based
on how we date versus how they date, what do
you think is the difference in the initial meeting and
(09:09):
is their example better than what we do when we
initially meet someone who we may be interested in.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
There's no hitting agendas. That's the first thing I'll noticed
right out the gate by watching this show. There are
absolutely no hitting agendas. Like they genuinely want both want
the same thing. I want to find someone that is
compatible to me, that understands me, that's willing to learn
with me, that's willing to go through life with me.
(09:40):
That's like I mean, that's really like the baseline for
all of them. Like for people who've never seen the show,
I'm going to kind of explain it a little bit.
The show is they find they find a handful of
people that they kind of you know, circle around. So
like my favorite, my favorite person to watch on this show,
(10:00):
his name is Connor.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I love this dude.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
He is like he is so good, you know what
I'm saying, Like like his spectrum, he is so energetic,
he's so he could be all over the place. But
the young lady that he's dating now, she is so
dope for him. They compliment each other very well, like
it's a show that you have.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
To see this. So hold on, So how did they to?
How did they meet?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Though?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Well, I want to know what is.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
What is their initial meeting versus ours?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, oh no, it's the same.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
So like they have a dating coach, you know what
I'm saying, the kind of matchmaker a little bit, and
you know, put them together. They going speed dates. Okay,
so they do.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
They do it.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Like speed dating, and they have a matchmaker.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Now, I'm gonna tell you right now, a lot of
us I hear the people who be matchmaking us. No
absolutely those who be playing matchmaker, No, absolutely not, because
most of us, if we're being honest, if we are
set up by somebody we know, most of our alves.
I'm well, let me back up. A lot of us
(11:11):
are set up by people that we know. Either somebody
don't wisper their saying, hey what about your friend over here,
like let them know what I like them or something,
or you going to your friend or your you know,
family member.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
They're like, hey, I got this homeboy or got this homegirl.
You know, I think it'd be dope for you.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
And nine times out of ten and it ain't really
a good match you. I think I'm only be a
match with one person that I actually married, but that
it turned out right.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That was my first husband.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
So but you know, we got two beautiful kids, you know,
so children, and yeah, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So okay. So they have they on speed days.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
They have a matchmaker now when they are dating, though,
are they left to are they left them their own
when they're dating? Are their specific except questions that they
asked while on the date?
Speaker 5 (11:56):
What you the ones deal with them on a day?
I love I mean I love this show like this
is my new I tell you this is one of
my top five shows out right now. I promise you
it is one of the top five shows. Like okay,
for anybody that know me, they know my show was
(12:17):
Suits and Snowfall.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
This is kind of up there with it.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
I love me some snoop suits, I love me some Snowfall,
and I also I also got to throw this in too.
I absolutely love Law Order. I've always been a law
or fair but this show right here, like, I don't
anybody know me. No, I don't do reality shows at all.
This is the perfect reality show because they can't be scripted.
(12:46):
You cannot script the person. Really, you just can't script
up because they're gonna say with promotion they feel you
know what I'm saying, like, like, I'm telling you what
you got to see my.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Point hold on? Greg said, they don't send a representative.
I want us to stay on topic because we got
to get through everything.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
So they don't. Let's see, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
They don't send a representative.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
So what questions are different that they ask or do
they ask any questions on the dates that we don't listen?
Speaker 5 (13:14):
They ask all the questions that we ask for the
most part, outside of outside of finding out what someone has,
they ask all the right questions on who they are.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
See.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
I think all too often we get caught up and
you know what someone has, You're like, what do you
work at?
Speaker 4 (13:33):
What do you do? Okay? Fine, you know? Where do
you live or do you live on.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
The east side, west side? Do you live in the house,
you live in an apartment, do you live a town home?
Do you live a condo? Like, people ask about what
it is that you.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Have mm hmm right, And so the difference then is
that they ask who the person is. So what we
should be asking is background or character questions in essence,
and it looks like Keith is having a little bit
of technical issues. But so, yeah, okay, when dating, we
(14:08):
should be asking background or character questions right to get
to know what type of individual the person is. However,
there are some questions that we should not ask because
a lot of people can pretend to be yeah, I'm saying,
pretend to be what what we desire.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Based off of the questions that they're asking, And I
think there's.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
A polite way to redirect the conversation when somebody asks, like.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Where you looking for, you know, saying in a man
or what are you looking for in a woman?
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Those are the questions that you don't ask, right because
I'm not great, you are rundown.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So you can.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Then exactly so with this show, love on the spectrum
because they don't have any underlying motives or hitting agendas,
and they are not sending a representative They are actually
being themselves. Now, not to say that people who are
who are out here dating nobody, you know, is themselves,
(15:04):
but it's a very very small percentage for people who
they and are themselves and don't center representative. So when
they are are doing that, when they do find a
love connection, curious to know if you have run in
at what does that look like? Because I did watch
where Tanner I think his name is Tanner. He was
on the show and he got to meet Jack Black
(15:25):
and they asked him about the young lady that he
that was interested in him, and she asked like she
was He was like, yeah, she asked me to be
her boyfriend, but I said no. Like now if you
if a woman asked you to be her man and
you just outright said no, and then that was it,
Like you ain't they want an explanation and they want God.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
To be hot.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Right But and because a lot of us know it's
a complete sentence, like I don't have to explain to
You're not going to ask you question if I say yes, right,
So why do I need to give you an explanation
when I say no? So what does that look like
for them? Like do all of them just say hey
will you meet my girlfriend? Or hey will you beat
my boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (16:06):
And so dyal listen, we kind of mean you talk
about this other day.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
But for the for the audience who got the inside
of our conversation. So what happened is there's an episode
where like dude was like, hey, I don't feel a
love connection here. I don't think we're a match. He's like,
but I like you, you're a good person. Can we still
be friends? And she's like sure? And that was that
they was cool and they are cool. So now they're
(16:32):
in a whole another season and there's a girl that
he's into, he's interested in, and he's into and he
actually invited the girls that he are cool with now
with the coup was with one of his male friends
do and like they was at like a cookout or
something at his house, you know, and they was just
(16:53):
hanging out, like they were just really ainting out as friends.
I was sitting there thinking to myself, how adult it's that,
because let me let you know right now, I can
imagine me telling somebody after a date, hey I don't
really feel love collection here. I just think you cool,
you know, can we be friends? She might be like, yeah, sure,
(17:17):
but I'm gonna let you know that girlfriend conversation.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
That she's gonna have with her girlfriends.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
Oh man, chances know, I ain't gonna I'm not gonna
be that dude, you know what I'm saying, it's gonna
it's gonna go a whole nother way.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
It's gonna be like girl, he has the nerve to tell.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Me I ain't this type, and I was like, yo, like, hey,
I don't know about nobody else, but I'm not ready
to eat for everybody.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Right absolutely.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Now, Now let's get into what rejection or how we
should respond to rejection because we've talked, we've mentioned a
little bit about how people who are under spectrum, you know,
with our how this show portrays, how they date, how
they interact with people, how they say, you know, no,
(18:05):
I'm not interested. Let's shift into what should we be
doing those who are not on the spectrum. How should
we be responding when it comes to rejection? Not a
map that we're not a match, you know? Is it
that we have to be you know, our stakes sweet
when it comes to our words, and I say, you
(18:25):
have to be mean and nasty. But a lot of
people think me mean being sweet means beaty. But you
know you can still be you know, on point clear,
you know blunt.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Without me.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Right, it's not how you said, So you hold on,
wait before you.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Go into that, before you go into that. We gotta
take a quick break. So y'all, don't go nowhere. If
you are cooking dinner on the road or whatever, tap
into jqul on radio through the app. All right, go
to the website if you want, you go entertainment that
dot com first, JQL dash Radio. Get it on your
alex or whatever. All right, listen, why you're doing your thing.
(19:03):
Hold tight, don't go anywhere. We're gonna take a quick break,
all right. And we are talking about love on the Spectrum.
This is relationship Ology here on JQLM Radio.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
All right.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
So for those of you who are just tuning in,
you are tuned in to relationship Ology with your girl, Lady.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Jay and your boy Keith Oulmore.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Right here on JQL on Radio, division of Ego Entertainment Network.
And we've been talking about love on the Spectrum. Should
we be mimicking or following their example, those who are
autistic and how they are dating as portrayed on this
show Love on the Spectrum, this new show Love on
the Spectrum. So before the break, we were talking about,
(19:48):
you know, what should we be doing or how should
we be responding to rejection? Like when we decide that oh,
this person's not a good fit or we're not compatible.
Because let's be honest, a lot of people get in
their feelings, they're mad, they're upset, you all kind of names.
They're going to talk to they homies or their homegirls
and tell them about you know, it's almost like, how
(20:09):
dare you as if you're going to be everyone's cup
of tea?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's just not realistic.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
So what are some of the things that we should
be doing in response to.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Someone letting us know that, hey, we're not a good fit.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
You know, I'm always a must speak on it, you
know what I'm saying, Like, I don't like to leave
someone with an idea that, oh, there's going to be
a second date.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
You know what I'm saying. Or you know.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Now they constantly in contact with me and I'm not
feeling them. So I that's not my program. I'm the
kind of person that I'm blunt. I'm gonna be upfront
with it. Hey, listen, I like you, but I don't
see us being a couple. But like, I like you,
so I would much rather still get to know who
(21:03):
you are as a person and maybe you know, we
could be something outside of the couple. Maybe we could
be friends, you know, And so that's usually typically my
approach with it. I've been met with mixed you know,
mixed replies with that. I got a lot, you know,
quite a few women are cool with it, and I'm
(21:24):
still cool with all them to this day. And then
there's some women that's almost appalled, like I, dare you
not like me? You know what I'm saying, Like, what's
wrong with you that you don't like me?
Speaker 4 (21:35):
I mean, I'm not.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Attracted to you, you know, Like so when you say that,
that's even more offensive to them. I'm not attracted to you.
I find you attracted, But that don't mean I have
to be attracted to you. We just I mean, there's
just certain things that you like that I don't like.
There's certain things that I like that you ain't rocking with.
(21:58):
You know, we have where I when it comes to
raising children, how y'all you know we're gonna laise them.
We are eyes on how our household is supposed to
be read mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
H m hmmm.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I think for me, nine times out of ten, don't
I'm not even gonna want to be a friend.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Like that's just if.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
We're not we're not compatible, then yes, it's gonna be
a nough for me because see, and because you are
already interested in me.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I don't want there to be any.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
You know, misunderstanding as far as whether you think you
got a chance, if you know, or any of that.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
So I'm probably not going to be your friend.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I'll you know, you're somebody who maybe you know, I've
met your acquaintance.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Now.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
If we were in a relationship already, you know, we
decided to split ways and we're cool, that's one thing.
But if we're just meeting and we went on a
couple of dates not aside, Yeah, this is probably not
gonna be you know what's the best for me, and
we're not compatible and I'm not interested in moving forward.
We're not going to be friends. Nine times understanding that Again,
(23:07):
it's nothing personal. It's just that, like I said, at
being a female and being in that situation way too
many times because you always think that there is a chance.
You always think that there's a chance, and then I've
had real life stalkers and I'm not trying to deal
with none of that, you know, like, just no, just
to shut it down.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
I get it, I get it. I totally get it.
Fortunately I've not had that situation or hold on, I've
had I've had a stalker too.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
I take that back. I have had a stalk too,
dang man.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
I have in real life in myies and early thirties
when I happened, so you know, we me moving to
a passince then you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
I don't have those issues.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Now now, But when okay, So when when it's not
amicable okay, and one person decides that you know, I'm
not attracted to you or this is not going to work,
and the other person completely flips out. Because I've had
people and I've had dudes, you know, cuss me out.
(24:09):
And nowadays you've seen videos where men will like they
never try to kill you when you don't want to
talk to them, and it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
You know, one lady got as in her face. It
was just crazy.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So when people flip all the way out, like, how
do you respond? Because you shouldn't be scared to say no.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
You got to make sure you like well, First of all,
I've always told my sisters, cousins, female friends, make sure
you're in public with people you don't have a real
good clue or handle one. So you know what, the
first time date you all are going to meet up,
don't allow him to come to your home. Go meet
that person, you know, meet them out. In fact, I
(24:48):
am a I am a huge component of because you know,
I got a lot of female friends. I actually probably
have more feofa for than male friends that are friends too.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
You know what I'm saying. I mean I got people
that I got.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I got female friends I've been rocking with for fifteen
twenty thirty years, you know what I'm saying. And so
you know my circle friends, we all kind of hang
out together. Like no, we have different social circles, but
we all know each other. We might not all hang
(25:21):
out all the time, but you know, Dana knows Lamont,
Lamont knows christ Christy knows Adam, Adam knows Keeper Keisha Nose,
Derrick Dereck knows TJ TJ.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (25:36):
Like, so we all know each other, we all mirror
with each other. We've all you know, we all are
kind of cut the same way too, you know what
I mean. So nobody got something new. I'll get a
phone call sometimes to be like yo, I kind of
want you to check him out, tell me what you think,
you know, like I why don't keep bringing him to
(25:57):
this ebit so that pressure of someone like they being
set up, you know, to be critique, right, but also
you in a public space with the love and trust.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Right now when we talk about the difference between those
who are on the spectrum and us when it comes
to conflict, because I've seen, you know, some autistic people
when so they are really they are really focused on
and do well with a consistent what do you want
(26:34):
to call it?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
A consistent routine? Right, and when you get.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Out of that routine, it kind of you know, causes
them to have a lot of anxiety or throws them off.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
A lot of them.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
And so and when they're unhappy or they can't do
something or have something, a lot of them kind of
you know, have their little episode where they flip out,
you know, and.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Sometimes sometimes they can be violent.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
But with those of us who are not on the
spectrum that are not I'll say, or we were not
taught how to have self control when we can't get
our way or when someone does something that we don't like,
a lot of us, you know, we allow our emotions
to drive us and so in that regard, I think
(27:17):
that we are the same. So what would you say
is the difference or is there anything that we should
be paying attention to or following when it comes to
an example of those who are on the spectrum and
those who are not when it comes to conflict.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
Well, I think on the spectrum because they deal with
you know people for the most further, they are very
high functional. I think there's a lot of interviewing and
you know, kind of look before before they even get
on the show that I'm quite sure that I'm soon
try to figure out that this person would be good
(27:54):
for TV because I've seen I'm just going to the
first shows off a tweaking. There was a gentleman on
there that he was nervous, and when he's nervous, like
he he just kind of like squat over. He was
(28:14):
at the stable day, like he was laying his head
at the table mm hmm, you know when we're talking
to the date, because he was just nervous, and that
kind of helped calm him, you know what. And they
had to you know, actually move from the inside of
the restaurant to the outside of the restaurant on the patio.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
He was more relaxed. Okay, so there's this.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
I think there's a I would gather there's an endy
process and a.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
Like a I don't even want to meet and meek,
but more like a.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
Trial run to hang out with the person or so
to see how they functioned throughout the normway, you know
what I mean, so they can understand, Okay, this person
would be good for the show, but this person we
might have some issues because of this or you know,
I think there's an extensive you know, back down figured
(29:11):
out who would be good and who wouldn't. They're not
just you know, sunting as if we would be selected
put on the Bachelor or all, you know what I mean, right.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
And then even though even some of the people who
aren't on the show, because I mean, let's be honest,
there are other people that aren't on the show that
are out here dating with you know, on the spectrum,
you know, and even those who are all like let's say,
Pop the Balloon. I hate that show, but you know,
Top the Balloon. But I mean, not everybody you're going
(29:41):
to see on TV. And I just thought that, you know,
that was interesting too when it comes to conflict, because
when you are dating, Yes, you're getting to know the person,
but a lot of times you still are going to
have conversations where either you're gonna have to agree to
disagree because you're not going to agree on anything. And
and that's when you start to learn whether or not Okay,
(30:03):
this is somebody who I could see myself with, or
this is somebody.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Who I know I don't see myself with.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
You know, So when it comes to like I said,
those who are under spectrum, their response to things that
make them uncomfortable or anxiety or you know, things they
didn't like, it's completely different in ours. And it's then
the way we would deal with it. But then again
it's not I don't want to say something that they
(30:30):
can't control, but in essence it is you know what
I mean.
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Like it's a process, it's just how you like. For example,
for the long it's like a lot of people don't
understand don't know dom dyslexic, So like it surprises a
whole lot of people when they actually be like, wait,
hold on, you just like you know, but you read well,
you do this.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Well.
Speaker 5 (30:51):
Look, it took a whole lot of you know, trial
and error and training for me to disguise it to
where you don't know it.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
I mean, I'm fifty, so for fifty years I figured
out how to you know, blend did but your boys
like you know, if I'm reading this sentence, I have
to concentrate because if I'm not, I will mess around
and read that thing in diagonal instead of straight across.
I would be on paragraph number six and I just
(31:23):
started the first paragraph.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
You know what I'm saying. I mean, it's just.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
So so it's just how you process it. And a
lot of them, like especially if you watch the show,
you'll see somebody way more higher functioning than some of
the other ones. But what you will see is you
will see a genuine a genuine want to and a genuine.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
Willingness.
Speaker 5 (31:49):
And I think it, I just think it's so dump
like this is why it's my new favorite show, because
there is not like even when the couples, even when
it's not a good match, it gets with it typically
ends well like they like we could be friends, sure
to be friends, and it's just so genuine, like you
could tell it's about, hey, we could be friends. Ain't
(32:11):
gonna talk to you ever again? Yeah, like we can
friends and three days later they'll all just have a
cool conversation.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Yeah, yep.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
And I think another interesting aspect of it would be
the intimacy. So we all know that a lot of
autistic people don't like touch, and then there are some
who are overly you know, so no.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Oh, I'm all right now. And there's a young lady.
Speaker 5 (32:40):
She's hating this dude they've been dating for and she
trying to get busy.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Like when I say she's trying to get busy, she
try to get busy. She she she won't you, I'll
tell you.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
And my guy's Catholic, he don't believe in premiary little
six mm hmm. If I don't want to spoil it
for nobody, ways, I ain't gonna talk too much about it.
But these are the things that they actually show on
the show. Like she actually made an animation like a
(33:14):
comic book like like like almost like a comic book
animation on her tablet of them, you know, going on
the date, and at the end of the day it
is with them going to bed together.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Mm hm.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
Like it's I was like, like, look, betty girl want
to get busy, and she has this open conversation with
her parents. You know, her parents was like and they're
very supportive and they you know, they talk to her
about it.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
It's what I love is I love.
Speaker 5 (33:40):
To find like they have a family dynamic as well,
because these families aren't all with each other. You know
what I'm saying, Because like I said, if you haven't
been around autistic people, you know, these families they've been
patient with these people their whole lives. You know the
level O don't man, listen. I don't even know if
(34:02):
I could be that patient. I'll praive that I can be.
I pray that I can be. But I'm trying to
tell you, like just watching the show, you can see
the challenges. You can see it, and that's what's making
it even more encouraging because these families are so like
there's a couple now they've been together for three years.
(34:24):
For three years, this couple have been together. They've been
season one, they had Season three and they've been together
for three years. And these families have been together for
three years. Because these families can tolly understand what each
other's going through and they see the growth, and I
think that's the beauty of it. You see the growth
of these individuals, but you see the growth as a
(34:44):
couple as well, and you see how they calm each other.
You see how you like there's like this my favorite,
my favorite person on the show.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
His name is Connor.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
I love Connor. Connor is like he's so dope to me.
But he was so nervous and so frazzled by his
girlfriend because he thinks she's the beautiful thing of the world.
And as he should, like he found his match, because
it ain't been easy for him to find his match,
but he found this If she is a perfect match
(35:17):
for him, how she like she's able to get help
control his anxiety when he's about walthor rails. She could
calm him down in it, like with a snap of
I think that things to say.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I think that a lot of I've seen some autistic
people in relationships with non autistic people. One of the
shows that I love that I watched was I Believe
the Good Doctor, and the doctor plays an arctic guy
and he's in a relationship and Mary's and has a
child with someone who is not autistic, but someone who
(35:53):
is sensitive to his condition, right, And so I think
that having that dynamic, you know, that say that opposites
are tract you have to be a person with patients
in order to in order to navigate someone. So apparently
he's extremely high functioning. He's a surgeon. He's phenomenal you
know at what he does, and super smart, but he
(36:15):
still has challenges social challenges, you know, again with interacting
with Yes, he's able to love, he's able to be
he he doesn't. He has a hard time, let's say
empathy if you will, having badside matam. He just says things,
you know, blunt to the point. And so when you
think about something like that and you think about relationships
(36:38):
and dating, I think that a lot of us who
are not on the spectrum, we have to see each
other through the kind of like their eyes, the way
that they see each other, and those who are open
to dating.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Someone who is on the spectrum, because.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
If you think about it, we can equate that with
us showing grace, right, uh, if you think about it, So, hey,
what's up a deal?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
If you think about it, we can equate that with
us showing grace.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Because you have to be a special kind of person
to be able to deal with those those social issues.
You know what I'm saying that that person has the
because it some of it entails, you know what I'm saying,
how they may respond and reacts to maybe something that
you're going through a crisis that you're going through.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
Back, it's physically football game.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Right, yeah, absolutely, hold on, yes, So hold on guys,
we have to take another break real quick, and when
we come back, we're going to like give our final
thoughts on the topic and maybe get some tips and
tools on what we can do to be more authentic
(37:54):
and a more genuine person without hitting.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Agendas when we are dating.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Because I mean, let's be honest, this day pool is
it's for the birds, you understand me, Because I don't
want no parts of it.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
So stick to state, don't go anywhere. You are tuned in.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
You are tuned into relationship Ology with your girl, Lady
Jay and Keith Omar right here on JQLM Radio, a
division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
All right, and we are back.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
You are tuned into Relationship Ology with your girl, Lady
Jay and Keith Omar right here on JQ Fulham Radio,
division of Ego Entertainment Network. So we've been talking about
love on the spectrum and how it differs or how
it is similar to how those of us who are
(38:48):
not on the spectrum dates. And so we talked about
the initial interaction, the conversation with decided whether or not
you're going to move forward, were to be a couple.
We talked about some of the social you know, barriers,
some of the intimacy you know. We talked a little
(39:08):
bit about intimacy and how what that may look like
for those who are in the spectrum with those who
are not. Of course, those who are not we have
lost our ever loving minds. We're not even gonna get
to that. That's a whole other show on other show,
because some of us be jumping from bed to bed.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
But anyway, let's see.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
And we talked about rejection and so what does that
look like when they reject each other, not in a
bad way, but just saying, hey, you know, this is
not gonna work for me, or we aren't compatible or
I'm not attracted to you, versus how those of us
who are not on the spectrum respond. So, in giving
our final thoughts on the topic, what would you say
(39:45):
and give us some tips? What would you say are
some of the things that we could learn from them?
And how we should implement them.
Speaker 5 (39:52):
Number one that stood out to me is you know,
the genuine me trying to get to know that person.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
It ain't about who you know, that's not about what
they have, where they work, you know, where they went
to school, what kind of degree they got this, that.
And the third, it's all about the character of the person.
It's just a good person. Is that person not only
a good person? Do they want to treat me? Is
that person gonna be patient enough with me? Do they
want to learn and grow with me?
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Like? You know? Then you we just look for those things.
That's it. They keep it real simple.
Speaker 5 (40:27):
And when when you see them find somebody, you literally
see it, you be like, yo, that's a perfect fit,
Like you be looking at them like they found it,
they got it. It's a perfect fit. And I honestly
believe it's a perfect fit because they just went to
the foundation and they figure you know, like I think
(40:49):
all relationships should be. It's all about the character because
if we're gonna build together, we're gonna get to where
we want to go.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Absolutely, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Now now you said something that that's a topic.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
For another day. You know, building together.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
A lot of us want people who are already fully
built and have their own empire built and all that
kind of stuff. Meanwhile, they don't even they ain't even
start it on their own. So let's just start there.
They don't have no bricks. But when it comes to
the initial interaction, the fact that they don't send representatives
and they are literally being themselves, authentically being themselves. They're
(41:30):
not trying to be like anyone else. They're not trying
to meet your you know, unrealistic list of expectations and
all this other kind of stuff like it is, this
is who I am. This is what you get. If
you like me, great, if you don't, great, you know,
And that's what it should be for us as well.
That's how it should be.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
And we should be able.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
To sit down with somebody and not feel like we
have to be somebody else just for somebody else to
like us. Right if you're if you are unattracted to
someone the very first time you meet them, If y'all
have just like met online or on a dating app
or something like that, and you meet them a person
and you're not attracting them, and you know it, how
about just being honest in a polite way, all right
(42:16):
when you meet them and don't string the person along,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
And then if you are the person on the receiving.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
End of you know, hey, you know unfortunately, I don't
think this is gonna work. I'm just not feeling you
know this as much as I thought I would, Or
I'm not attracted to you. Fine, just say hey, okay,
y'all decide to be friends.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Are cool? Great? If not great?
Speaker 3 (42:38):
I think that we have got to get to a
point where we understand that we are not for everybody,
and everybody is not for us.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
It's you shouldn't take it personal.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
And a lot I think the problem is, and I'm
gonna just say it, is that a lot of us
think we are, I'll say, on all levels higher than
what we are, than what we really are when it
to the physical appearance. Because you may be a two
to this person over here, but to this person over here,
(43:07):
you may be a seven or eight. It just depends
on the person's preferences and what they deem as attractive.
Just because you're attractive to this person over here and
this person over here, doesn't mean that this person over
here is gonna find you attractive and that's just it
or your personality. Maybe they person if you're a messy
person or a toxic Nine times in out of team
people who are not messy, they're not topic toxic, they're
(43:29):
not gonna like your personality. You know what I'm saying.
And that's just it just is what it is. So
I think have to be more realistic about who we
are and what we are and what we like. Because
if you are not complimenting what you're looking for, that's
not gonna work. And so when day, I think we
(43:49):
have to keep that in mind. Don't just look at
what you want, but look at who you are, because
who you are is going to have a or gonna
play a in what you attract.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
Agree, I told you. Another thing too, is we don't
need to think. It's kind of like this. I always said,
understand that you you are flawed.
Speaker 4 (44:16):
You know.
Speaker 5 (44:16):
I think all too often a lot of people intend
to think that they're perfect, like you know, like they're
like they are the answer to every tests. It's fine
to know that you're flawed, and it's fine to know
that you're not for everybody. Like I tell people all
the time, I'm I am not ready to eat for everybody.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
I'm not.
Speaker 5 (44:35):
I understand that, And honestly, I worry if you are
somebody who's you know, consider yourself that could be with anybody,
because you definitely not for me, you know what I'm saying,
Because that means anybody have access to you a certain way,
you know. So that's just something to think about, Like
I have never known a rare treasure to be something
(44:59):
that everybody can obtain.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (45:03):
Right, if you're thinking yourself as a precious gem, where
you think of yourself as something that's rare and unique, that,
how the hell can everybody be, you know, have access
to it?
Speaker 3 (45:14):
That part that part end. On top of that, I'd
say that we also have to stop being so shallow
while they are looking at It reminds me how God
looks at our hearts, you know what I'm saying. He
sees the heart. He doesn't see the outward. He sees
what's inside. And I think that a lot of us,
(45:35):
if we use discernment more, we would choose better. And
if we learn from the lessons, if we implemented the
lessons that we learn based on the mistakes that we've
made in the past, we would also choose better, continue
to choose better, like continue to elevate.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
As we go through that process, I think that we
have to stop being so shallow. Okay, this person may
be and I'm not saying if you're attractive, for instance,
to somebody that is is petite or just a little thick,
you know, and that person is not, I say, more
billy o beasts. But if they are a little bit
heavier than what you like, that's something that can be changed.
(46:11):
You know what I'm saying. They can lose weight. You
know what I'm saying, They need me exactly, but if they.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
Need everything else has changed over the years.
Speaker 3 (46:23):
Absolutely a lot of us are going to go up
and down. But I'm just saying I'm using it as
an example, like that can be changed. Y'all work out together.
But this person meets all you know, they meet all
your other all the other qualities that you're looking.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
For in a husband or a wife. It's same thing
for women.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Okay, maybe he don't have, you know, a ferrari or
a car. First of all, girl, you riding the bus,
so you lucky if he got anything. But anyway, if
he don't have a ferrari or making you know, one
hundred K year, but he had seventy k a year,
and he's a great father, and he owned his own
house and all other kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Girl, you dumb if you don't jump on a egg.
And he is your preface.
Speaker 3 (46:59):
But it looks like we have to stop being so
shallow and start looking at the person because what happens
is a lot of us we get so caught up
in the materialism and the surface stuff that.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
We forget that.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
I also happy that we also have to take inventory
of who the person is because Okay, you get with
them and now they're hitting you upside the head, or
now this person is cheating on you, and now that
personally what I'm saying, So you you was concerned about
all our own stuff.
Speaker 5 (47:26):
M you know, yeah, And that's why I think they
get it right, because they're just truly looking for a
good person to navigate through life with for the rest
of their life. That you know, that's willing. And I
use the word willing because just imagine how difficult it
is for two people to be on the spectrum and
(47:47):
they know they have they have they certain hang ups,
but then will to work through those to go through
life together. Yeah, you know, I think that. I just
think it's so dope. I love the show. Whoever came
up with this idea, whoever came up with it, God
bless them, because man, like, this is a show that,
(48:09):
you know, I think everybody should watch because there's no
way you can watch a full episode and not find
joy in it. And unless you're us, unless you just
every needs the schools every day, I mean, or the Devil,
there's no way you can't find joy in watching this show.
(48:29):
Like you find yourself rooted for people, You find yourself
liking certain couples together, you know what I'm saying, Like,
you find yourself invested in one episode in an hour's time.
I got three new people, Like I got three favorite people.
I'm like, Okay, I like Connor. I like my boy Tyler,
you know, Like I'm like, yo, I got people that
(48:51):
I rock with. I'm watching, Like I literally, I feel
like Connor Shall have his own show. Like he's that animated.
It's honest, though you don't feel like he's so honest.
And I love his family, Like, I like how they
interact with him. I like how the families are invested
in the girlfriends and the boyfriends and the people that
(49:13):
they date like it's it's just dope, you know what
I'm saying, It's a dope show.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:18):
Yeah, So you know, this is an interesting conversation. And
for those who you know want to go check out
the show, I would suggest that you do go check
out the show because maybe you can get a few pointers.
And when it comes to dating and determining you know,
how you should interact and what questions you should ask
and how you should present yourself to someone you know
(49:41):
instead of, you know, trying to be someone that you're not.
And really, when you feel like you have to do
that you have to become someone that you're not just
to get the attention of somebody else, then that person
one is definitely not for you because if they don't
like you for you or love you for you, then they're.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Not for you.
Speaker 3 (49:56):
And two, that says a lot about how you see
yourself and how comfortable you are in your own identity
and so and if you don't know who you are,
then you definitely don't need to be dating until you
meet you, until you know who you are, and until
you can own who you are. And while votelying at
and so because nobody deserves to be with I'll say
(50:16):
a representative, you know, or a made up individual. Nobody
deserves to be catfish in that way.
Speaker 5 (50:24):
Yeah, I forgate you dooping them because you are not
what it is I love.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
For right, absolutely absolutely, So we are down to the
last minute and a half of the show. Make sure
you all go subscribe now to Ego Entertainmentnet dot com
so that you stay up today on opportunities, events and
all kind of stuff that's coming your way. Go register
also or subscribe for free to Ego TV Network dot Live.
(50:52):
That's Ego TV Network dot Live. Of course, again you
all know our movie I said, Suicide is on there.
We have some other content on there, and new content
is coming your way this Sunday.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
So y'all know we have been in.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
Production since February, so we are rolling out all of
this stuff. You will get to take a look at
sas Sexy, Ambitious, Sophisticated Chat on Ego TV. That's an
Ego original talk show. Also run and tell that that's
a new talk show as well. Go check it out
Behind the Fame web series that's on there now as well.
(51:26):
So make sure that you all go subscribe, you go
add Ego TV to your rod COUD channels. Okay, so
that you're gonna watch on your television if you want,
you can watch you on the website as I said,
Ego TV network a live or watch on your phone
and the full mobile apps will be coming soon, all right.
And also get your tickets Buford, South Carolina and Kansas City, Missouri.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Get your tickets for the Don't Give Up Tour.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Go to Ego Entertainment net dot com, forward slash Events
and choose whatever city you want to go two for
the tour. Get your tickets now, all right. And you've
been tuned into Relationship Ology with your girl Lady.
Speaker 4 (52:07):
Jay and your boy Keith Omar.
Speaker 3 (52:12):
All right, and until next time, y'all, We will see
y'all on the fourth, yeah, yeah, fourth Thursday of this morning,
all right, for Relationship Alogy right here on j q
l M Radio.
Speaker 2 (52:28):
See y'all later. The inspiration for the songs because of you.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
The inspiration for the songs because of you, The for
the song because of you.
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The Brothers Ortiz
The Brothers Ortiz is the story of two brothers–both successful, but in very different ways. Gabe Ortiz becomes a third-highest ranking officer in all of Texas while his younger brother Larry climbs the ranks in Puro Tango Blast, a notorious Texas Prison gang. Gabe doesn’t know all the details of his brother’s nefarious dealings, and he’s made a point not to ask, to protect their relationship. But when Larry is murdered during a home invasion in a rented beach house, Gabe has no choice but to look into what happened that night. To solve Larry’s murder, Gabe, and the whole Ortiz family, must ask each other tough questions.