November 2, 2020 • 58 mins
Lady J and Mark B crack up and give their two cents on social media memes, posts, and comments about relationships in this fun and informative conversation.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
Stop stop stop, stock.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Still stack still stack still stack still, stack still, stack
(01:51):
still stand.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
What's good people? How you're doing this? Boy Mark B
And you have arrived at Pillow Talk. Lady Jay is
over there getting stuff together, so you have to deal
with my voice.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
For right now.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
How you doing, everybody? It's been a while and we
appreciate you all for tuning in the jq ELM Radio.
If you are tuning in, then you already have the app.
But what you may not know is if you missed
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(02:48):
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He's Gonna Eat in Tea Net also Instagram, jql and
radio and Twitter. You got jq el and Radio, so
(03:09):
you can catch us a whole bunch of different ways.
So how is everybody doing out there?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Man? Listen?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Twenty twenty twenty twenty is I know if I was
an alien watching this season of the World the Earth
on whatever whatever galactic media device out there that I'd
be watching, I'd be like man, this this episode this season.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
That's fire boy.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
They got everything popping off this season. They got they
got pandemics. They got a crazy president who act like
he don't know how to shut his mouth. Now he
got the COVID that he been pretending like he ain't had,
or pretending like I ain't exist. Out there, it's going down.
They got police killing black folk. It's all over the
(04:00):
place and looking around trying to find out why people
are so upset.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Is going down.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
But while all that is going down, while all of
that has happening, we are here at jq ellen Radio
to bring you all entertainment in various forms. We have
a lot of different shows on our network. So if
you are over the road truck driving, I want to
(04:29):
give a shout out to all the drivers out there
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You can catch us at all time. If there's no
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(04:53):
jq ellen Radio, Telling Nable, tell a friend. We're always
We're always going on. But Pillow Talk today lady lady,
just getting getting off our video the problem together. We
look kind of look like we uh, like we're in
the basement basement apartment, like somebody about to make it
(05:20):
rain or something like that. There we go, all right,
but we're bringing pillow talk to you today. It's been
a while, it's been a few quite a few months
since we've been able to do pillow talk. But we
are back. We're here with you. Where ah, We're ready
(05:46):
to go, Lady Jay, let's see.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
All right.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
So, I don't know that was the driest intro I
ever heard in my life. Mark just sitting up there
talking to you a mellow wasn't.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Wasn't playing all twenty minutes of of.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
Well listen, I'm gonna need him to act like he've
been doing the show for some years for real, because
the way he just brought it in was like we
knew it.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
This thing.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Is rough.
Speaker 6 (06:17):
Okay, So today's show is all about social media relationship shenanigans.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Listen.
Speaker 6 (06:26):
Okay, So you know, I'm not on social media a
whole lot unless I'm sharing some ads and promos and
marketing and stuff or just dropping you know, something about
my every day. But I have seen quite a few
hilarious and off the chain and encouraging and good relationship
(06:51):
material all in social media groups and on people's pages
and statuses and questions and strawberry letters and everything. So
I thought, since you know, it's been a while since
we've been on air, maybe the first show could be
something fun where we just kind of go over and
tackle bring out some of these things that we've seen
on social media. So if you want to give your
(07:14):
comment or ask a question, you can call in at
three one seven eight eight six zero two ninety six.
If you want to get the full effect of the
show and actually hear what's going on on the breaks
and the music and stuff being played, then Facebook, this
is not the platform for you to be watching this.
(07:35):
So of course we go live here just for the
conversational piece, because y'all know Facebook doesn't like music like
that even though we're licensed to play it, and we
won't try to get the full effect of the show.
So make sure that you go download those jql on
radio apps so you can listen live on air. This
is a radio show, so we need the ratings anyway,
or you can listen from our Facebook page to cook
(07:55):
on the used app button. You can listen from our
website and yeah, and if you miss pillow Talk, you
can go listen to it. And all the major podcast
platforms that's iHeartRadio, Spreaker, Spotify, all of the major podcasts platforms.
We will be on Pandora here soon as well as Amazon.
(08:18):
So yeah, so with that being said, I'll let you
start marketing. So we have some social media posts and
articles and questions and stuff that people put out there.
So we're just gonna give our take on it and
we're gonna have some fun tonight.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
So Mark you go first. What you got over there?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Okay, all gas, no breaks. You are too anointed for
someone to be unsure about marrying you. Your anointing is attractive, Okay.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
So we started out with a positive one, so I
like that. So I think I saw that in Oh
I need to say I do. That's a relationship group.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
I like that group. I've been in that group for
a few years, a couple of years.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
So for those who are believers, I think this post
speaks more to individuals who have been in a relationship
for a few years and maybe their spouse hasn't proposed
or something yet, and it says hashtag all gas no breaks.
(09:28):
So Mark, what shall take on that one?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I don't know what the all gas no Break mean.
Don't get that.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I don't get that statement. But I think that that
people definitely need to know where they are and and
know their own worth in a relationship you go in.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
I think a lot of people go.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Into relationships trying to trying to match the other person
instead of going into a relationship, uh, knowing what they're
looking for and knowing what their what their goal is,
or what their objective is. I think that's that's an issue.
That's an issue that a lot of people go into
a relationship with.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
If I'm just especially if if one person is doing
the heavy lifting or doing most of the heavy lifting
when it comes to being an adult or whatever, and
the other person is kind of like in AWE, are
sitting on the sidelines, are waiting or whatever, Usually that
one person is doing everything just to appease that person,
(10:27):
but they're not living, they're not enjoying their own experience
in it. So in those type of scenarios, you've gone
into the relationship all trying to impress this person and
trying to trying to be what this other person is
looking for, or be what this other person wants without investigating. Okay,
(10:49):
what do you want in a relationship? What are you
looking for in a relationship.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
So, but here's the thing with that, with this, with this,
this saying you're too anointed for someone to be unsure
about marrying you.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Your anointing is attractive.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Okay, So let's just talk about because this particular one
was geared towards believers.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Okay.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
So, if you're already in a relationship with somebody for
a certain amount for you know, let's say let's say three, four, five, six,
seven years, and they have not proposed, I'm pretty sure
that marriage has come up in conversation a few times,
and if the person is still with that person, I'm
pretty sure that the guy has said, well, yeah, the
(11:28):
goal is marriage, and yes I want to be married,
and things that sort. So why do you think that
men feel like it's okay to drag women along and.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Think that they're going supposed to wait around for.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
Them to marry them, Because then you have women who
are either upset that the man did not propose and
she had to walk away after after staying in the
relationship with the understanding that hey, this is leading, this
is gonna lead us for his marriage. Or you have
the guys that are upset that she walked away and
(12:03):
now he trying to get her back and then proposing
when you should have just did that when you had
her to begin with.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
There's multiple different reasons why somebody would would not want
to or not feel comfortable marrying somebody.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
So it depends.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I think that if you know what you're looking for
when you go into a relationship, that helps. If you
know what the where the person is when they get
into the relationship, that helps. Also, even though the person
misspelled your uh, we're gonna buy past that Facebook. But
when you're attractive, your anointing is attractive.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
No, actually that's correct. If you are No, No, you're right,
you're anointing.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
You're right. I'm a little bit a little bit about something.
I mean, but No. I think that that.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Everybody believes that their marriage ready, Like every woman who
wants to be married believes that their marriage ready. That's
the mindset. Like everyone believes that she's a queen. Every
woman believes that she's the best. That that that if
there's a failure in the relationship or if there's a
failure in the situation, it's got to be his fault.
That's that's the mindset. It can't be my fault. I'm
(13:15):
pretty so it can't be my fault. It's his fault.
He's the one that fault. Problem is, there's a lot
of people whose goal is only marriage, their goal or
their goal is only the wedding. Their goal isn't marriage
because if they invested in the in the marriage part,
then the it would it would already be a mindset,
(13:37):
it would it would probably already have happened already if
they were that kind of person, and they would probably
be dating somebody who had that as a mindset. Also
that you know, this is somebody who I'm ready to
lock down now, But everybody isn't.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
Okay, truth matter, Okay, So teres Sina shout out to
miss Bowman, Hey, miss Bowman, how are you?
Speaker 5 (13:57):
We love you and I miss you. She says, I
think this is what I'm doing. I shouldn't be doing this. Listen.
I agree.
Speaker 6 (14:05):
If you're with somebody in a relation, if you're in
a relationship with someone and the understanding from the beginning
or from a certain point in your relationship was that hey,
I'm not dating you just to be dating you. I'm
dating you to work towards a building a marriage together
or being married. Then if both parties agree to that,
(14:25):
then it's not fair for the guy to either want
the woman to to be okay with waiting for him,
because he should have been ready. First of all, you
shouldn't be dating with the goal of marriage. If you
feel like, if you know that you're not ready for marriage,
don't do it.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I think only women go into a relationship with that
kind of mind, with with the end game in mind.
I think women like that guy going up to a
female and seeing y'all got y'all best dress on, and
y'all got the leave it showing and stuff like that,
he ain't going to Oh she looked like she's gonna
be a good wife.
Speaker 6 (15:04):
No, Paul, because I know some men who will be like,
you know what, I'm gonna make her my wife. Let
me let me let me give this matter of fact.
Any god, and they did marry me. They said that
I was gonna be their wife.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Let me tell you this.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Any guy, any guy who looks at you in the
beginning and says that I'm gonna make you my wife
is toxic any guy, anyone, because most guys want to
at least find out what you about first. Nobody looks
like they're gonna be a good wife. Nobody does. Miss
Bowman said, every woman is queen, miss Bowman. Some some
(15:42):
is justice out here and some some women's is means.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
So wait now, I.
Speaker 6 (15:49):
Will say, I don't believe that every woman is a queen.
I don't believe that every man is a king. And
I'm gonna tell you why. When in any type of
royal court, there are gestures, there are handmade in there
are there are princes, there are princesses, there are kings,
there are queens, there are everybody. There's a lot of
people that have a role, and it's all it's based
(16:10):
upon that person's character and what they've been groomed or
taught and things of that sort. And there are some
people who are not interested in And because here's the thing,
certain certain characteristic, certain integrity, a level of integrity, and
certain behaviors about yourself makes you rise to a certain standard,
(16:33):
and some people are not interested in that.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
So you know, you.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
Can't be out here sleeping with every time they can
hear you and call yourself, queen. I'm sorry, just not it.
You can't be out here womanizing, being a womanizer or
a horrormonger, as the Bible says, and call yourself a king.
You just can't do it. You can't be out here
playing people. You can't be out here being a player
and happy about being a player and thinking that that's
cute and calling yourself a king.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
No, that you a jester. Joke.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
You're a joker, that's m said. She totally disagrees with
what I understand. It's most people do. Most people told
me disagree with what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (17:03):
So we only got an hour, and we got a
couple of leaves we gotta get through. So let's go
to the next one. So the next one is, uh
this this was a meme, and the meme says, two
weeks after you accept his proposal, he asks you, do
you want a big wedding or a house ladies, what's
your response? Okay, so on this post, yes, we had
(17:25):
a lot of women. That's saying both of them we had.
Now the question is one or the other. Clearly you
can't have both. Either you want a big wedding or
you wanna or you want a house.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Now.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
Some women was like, well, if.
Speaker 6 (17:39):
He can't give me both, why can't Why can't I
have a big wedding and a house.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
He should have enough money.
Speaker 6 (17:44):
If he don't have enough money to do that, to
do both of them, that he shouldn't be asking me
to marry him, or we should listen. Let me just say,
let me just say I'd rather have And first of all,
I don't want a house. I'm I'm trying to work
towards this mini mansion. Okay, bump a big wedding. I've
already had that. Even if I didn't have that, I
would still want the house because you can always go
(18:07):
back and have a celebration. Just let the reception be
super dope. That's all I care about. And the honeymoon.
As far as having a big wedding. The wedding, let
me tell you something I spent. We spent a lot
of money when I first got married. I spent a
lot of money. Even though we recouped everything that we
spent in then some in gifts.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Shout out to all the friends and family.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
But but that's more so for the people. I mean,
you you buying all this food, It ain't it ain't
just for you and him to eat you buying.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
You know you you're you, you getting all.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
These uh making sure that you have a venue big
enough to see all these people when they're not the
ones getting married.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
You know what I'm saying. Listen, it's not that. It's
not that deep, ladies.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
If you want to exercise in futility, put up a
post asking women to choose one thing or the other,
because most women are always gonna say both of them,
especially if it's two good options. Now, the only way
you're gonna get a contrast is if you say do
you want God or the devil? And then they'll be like, well,
I want God, give me Jesus. That's the only that's
the only time you're gonna get Oh. No, I have
(19:16):
a distinct differential, but you know, I think the the
mindset is do you want to uh do you want
to build or do you want to be showing off
for folks? If you want to build, if you if
your goal is to build a life with somebody, then
when you ask a question like do you want a
(19:38):
do you want a big wedding or do you want
a house? The woman who is looking at the marriage,
the woman who's looking at the life after the wedding
is going to be like, I want the house, so
let's have something small because I'm only focused on me
and you. Because a wedding, truth be told, the wedding
is basically for friends and family. It's a celebration of
(19:59):
you all's uni. It's not necessary. It's not like if
you don't have a wedding, then y'all ain't married.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Listen. It's a celebration with your people.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
So when you have that big wedding, it's a big
celebration for a whole bunch of people, most of who
you don't really know. But if I could do it
all family though you want a house.
Speaker 6 (20:18):
Yeah, if I could do it all over again, I
wouldn't even have family, extended family friends. They are just
my kids. Well I didn't have kids at the time.
But if I didn't have kids, just my kids and
a maybe maybe a.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
And a what do you call it? The person that
is no witness, And that's it.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
My Mam and daddy, family, friends, everybody else can join
and celebrate at the reception. You don't have to be
there for a ceremony. First of all, I'm not making
the vows to you. Okay, I'm making the vows to
the person, so I wouldn't even need all that. Just
my kids, if I don't have no kids, then just
the witness, you know what I'm saying, the pastor, and
that's it, and then we move on. First of all,
(20:59):
it's it's too long. I'm drawn out. Okay, just get
this over. Let's get this time.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
At the big wedding that I had, it was it
was enjoyable. I had a good time. But when it
was all said and done, it was a lot of
money spent on folks that most of them you you
don't really speak to a whole lot is, you know,
especially because you got their friends and you got your friends,
and you're not really going to become best friends with them,
(21:27):
you know, because those are their friends. So when it's
all said and done, it's a lot of it's a
lot of money spent. It's a good time, you know,
it's a nice party and everything.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
But yeah, so we're gonna take our first break, so
stick and state, we'll be right back. You're tuned into
Pillow Talk right here on j q l M Radio
with your girl Lady j a division of Ego Entertainment network.
Speaker 8 (21:57):
Sometimes make me so crazy, But I I'm still your baby. No,
I going away. No, I gonna be right.
Speaker 7 (22:13):
Because I'm crazy.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Oh. You you are.
Speaker 8 (22:24):
Complete surprise and not. You're not the type of life
that I thought.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
I would live.
Speaker 8 (22:32):
But you know I can't see my life and fill you.
I'm crazy b.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
For you.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Crazy.
Speaker 9 (22:48):
Oh, I don't know what I'm doing and but I
I'm gonna keep evil.
Speaker 8 (23:00):
Moved because I believe in the bow of us. I
believe in its calm.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Oh, else where this all will go. I've got my
FeAs for sure.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
I'm giving you on God, I'm.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Giving you own mard.
Speaker 7 (23:28):
Oh I'm crazy, Oh value, Sometimes you make no sense
at all, But somehow I know it's just.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Who you are.
Speaker 8 (23:50):
Nice only falling evil.
Speaker 10 (23:55):
People in to us crazy crazy, Oh this is not
(24:16):
co incidence and fun.
Speaker 8 (24:20):
Then lucky chance for us ament this event in the
sky fuller.
Speaker 6 (24:42):
Have you subscribed yet to our free online digital interactive magazine,
The Ego Magazine. No, We'll head on over to www
Dot Ego entertainmentnet dot com and subscribe now. This magazine
is all about showcasing and supporting excellence and communities everywhere,
from music, arts and culture, relationships, finance, education, politics, sports, news,
(25:05):
and so much more. While you're flipping through the pages,
just click on the tents on the pictures that you
see and you'll be taken to a whole nother world
behind the articles. At Ego Entertainment, everyone is a star.
There is something in it for everyone, and I hope
you are positively impacted by what you see and will
continue to support. This is your girl, Lady Jay, owner
(25:27):
and operator of Ego Entertainment and creator of the Ego
magazine Enjoy.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
This is Kiki ju LM Radio. Okay, all right and
we are back.
Speaker 6 (26:04):
You are tuned into Pillow Talk with your girl, Lady
j Mark b right here on j q l M Radio,
division of Ego Entertainment Network. And before the break, we
did our first two social media posts that we saw
on social media and and gave our take on it.
One was about proposing, you know, after being with somebody
(26:25):
for a while, said your your anointing is attractive.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
I don't know anointing is attractive.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
And then we were talking about the ladies were given
a question as to whether or not they would either
want a big house or a big wedding.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I love to see the statistical data on how many
people actually chose one before they got shamed that I'd
love to say, I know, like seventy eight percent.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
It was like both of.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Them, all right. So up next is another meme.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, this is the picture I just showed Jorde. It says,
when you come out of the shower and it has
a picture of your phone, it says, try again in
forty two seconds, and your girl pretending.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Like she sleep.
Speaker 6 (27:19):
Only yeah, so your phone is on the left hand
side for those who are listening on air. On the
left hand side is when you come out the shower, when.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
The guys on the shower come out of the shower,
and your phone is lit up and the lock screen
is on, and it says try again in forty two seconds,
because you know, somebody tried to get into your phone.
And then on the other side, somebody put like a
baby doll, one of those ones that that the eyes
go to sleep and stuff like that, and put it
down there, and like that's your girl pretending like she
sleep like like somehow it's just magically the screen just
(27:51):
magically popped on.
Speaker 6 (27:53):
So listen, here's my thing about that sneaking and going
through somebody's phone. Now, if you investigating all the type
of person where if I will ask you a question.
So let's say, if I if I think that you're cheating,
I'm gonna ask you and give you an opportunity to
be honest if you lie to me and I find
out later, because listen, everything you do in the darkness,
I'm come to the light if I find out later,
(28:15):
whether somebody sees you out and they tell me, whether
I find a letter, or if I know in my
you know, women's intuition, if I just know that something
ain't right, then I'm the type of person I want
to investigate because I want to make sure that I'm
not overreacting or assuming something.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Now.
Speaker 6 (28:32):
Once I find out, there are consequences that follow. So
I'm not one of those people who just you know,
find out and be like, argue with you about it,
and then you know, we and then we move on like,
ain't nothing happened? Now going through somebody's phone, if you're investigating,
I mean, I just ask.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I mean for that now.
Speaker 6 (28:55):
For me personally, I don't mind if somebody asks to
see my phone or go through my phone because I
don't have anything to hide and Actually that was an
exercise in marriage class. When I took marriage class a
few years ago, we had to switch phones for twenty
four hours. All the couples, I think it was like
twelve couples. We were all we have to switch phones
for like twenty four hours, and let me tell you
(29:18):
some of them. You know, you know, you knew that
you were doing something that you had no business doing.
Speaker 5 (29:24):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (29:25):
If you know you're not an honest person, if you
know that you're a cheater, then you probably don't want
to give yourself away by the things that you do
with your phone, like always putting it face down you
know what I'm saying, or not answering calls when that
person is around, all that good stuff, and then maybe
you won't have, you know, people trying to snoop.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Look, by the time you are at the snoop through
somebody's phone phase, the relationship is done. It honestly, it
truly is done because two things. One, you almost never
find what you want, and I mean that in a
figurative way. Off So, because you're going through the person's
(30:10):
phone because you want to not find out that they're
doing something that they ain't got no business doing. That's
one thing, and you might find that they are. Are
you go through the person's phone and thinking that you
know what they're doing and find nothing. At that point,
the consequences for the relationship would be the same. Should
(30:31):
be the same on the opposite end as a guy
as it would be for the female if she actually
found something. Because if you go through the phone and
you don't find nothing, why he still want to be
with you?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Why is it? Oh my bad? This is just a
test run.
Speaker 6 (30:46):
If you give somebody a reason to not trust you,
you can't then be upset with that person.
Speaker 5 (30:51):
Because here's the thing. If you truly want to be
with the person.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
And you say, like a lot of guys say, and
like a lot of girls say, oh I made a mistake,
then you should be willing to do what it needs
to be done to fix that issue. Because here's the thing,
earning somebody's trust. Earning somebody's trust is easier in the
beginning than trying to rebuild trust once you have done
something to.
Speaker 5 (31:12):
Break that trust.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Absolutely no.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Justifiable reason for somebody to go through somebody else's property
without them There's no justifiable reason you can you can
justify it to yourself because you're in a relationship and
you need to know and uh, and you don't want
to be played and stuff like that. Okay, but there's
really no justifiable reason because he's not allowed he's not.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Uh, he's not allowed to to.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
What word I want to use, he's not he's not
allowed to invade your privacy without there being a cost.
And you won't be able to invade his privacy without
there being a cost. It's just not gonna happen. So
you can do it you and you can have and
I'm plenty of women who have. But if you just
so happy and to find out that it really isn't him,
(32:03):
that it's really your insecurities and there's nothing going on,
then guess what. You messed up a good relationship because
you didn't get yourself together, and before you entered into
that relationship, you still carried on damage that you had
from the previous relationship, and you started pushing that damage
on him or blaming him and thinking that he's doing
something that he ain't got no business because because you
(32:26):
became neurotic. So before you get to the phase of
I'm gonna be checking somebody, and before you start making
light of it, and this, that and the other, which
is basically given other women who may not have the
self control or discipline that you have the greenlight before
you do that. If you don't feel like you can
(32:46):
trust the person, just back away. It's easier to do
it that way.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
My opinion.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
Well, moving on to the next meme. This one is
a meme.
Speaker 6 (32:58):
It says old couple didn't go to bed mad at
each other. This new generation will start another relationship while
you're dozing off. So I thought that was funny, and
it's true to an extent, you know.
Speaker 5 (33:13):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (33:13):
I was given the same advice by my uncle, one
of my favorite uncle. Actually, when I first got married.
The the and I've heard other couple say this. I
heard a couple who was married for sixty something years
that was on Steve.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
This is another. This was something else that they said.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
A lot of couple say that you never go to
bed mad because you don't know what's gonna happen in
the next few and the twenty four hours. Now here's
the thing, you know, people say, well, nobody lives like
that until you're faced with the situation where you could
have lost that person. Just in the blinking of an eye,
for instance, like I just had a rupture brain aneurism
(33:51):
not too long ago.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
Now I don't.
Speaker 6 (33:57):
It's it's It doesn't serve any good part purpose to
hold a grudge or be angry with someone for a
long period of time.
Speaker 5 (34:06):
It just doesn't.
Speaker 6 (34:07):
Because I can die tomorrow or in the next few
minutes and wouldn't even know. I could stroke have a stroke,
and the people around me should love me enough and
care enough to address issues while it's there, and not
do that because I face, you know, not being able
(34:30):
to speak and say bye to my children, you know,
and and a bunch of other things. So it is
very important that when you are in relationship with somebody
and you really truly love that person, do not go
to bed angry.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
I agree with the premise of the statement. I don't
agree that old relationships they didn't go to bed mad
each man.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
They stayed mad at each other.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
They couldn't leave one another because women couldn't own property
back then, so they'd had to stay with that old,
uh slew foot ugly husband that they had. They ain't like,
but they they stayed with them. I think the premise, though,
are not of appreciating your time with the person and
not being or not staying mad at somebody. Understanding that
(35:20):
life is fleeting. I think that's important. But the truth
of the matter is though people people can't live on
edge like that. They can do their best, but you can,
you can appreciate the person. But kids still gonna be bad.
You know, they still gonna ignore. How is they still
gonna ignore what their moms say? They the the friend
(35:41):
that you have. They they might love on you real
tough while you're sick, but as soon as they seem
that you're well and stuff like that, they they aren't
as tuned in as far as like calling every.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Day and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (35:54):
How is it living on edge when there's nothing about
there's nothing living on it. There is nothing about not
going to bed angry, living on edge when there's an
issue it needs to be addressed before you close your eyes.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Then there's sometimes where you just don't agree and to
agree to disagree, well being if you go if somebody
has a difference of opinion and they don't like your
opinion and you don't like their opinion, and you all
just agree, we not gonna argue about this no more.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
I think sometimes that's the best you can do.
Speaker 6 (36:30):
Yeah, But when when I think when they say, don't
go to bed angry, and he's like, if I'm if
I didn't cust you out and called you every name
in the book and we mad at each other and
then we go to sleep. The last words I said
to you before you end up dead or in the
hospital was I hate you when you get on my
nerves mid Now you gotta walk around and live with
that for your for the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (36:51):
Ain't no coming back.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
For The best thing you should do is try and
be as kind or or be as good to the
person that you're with as you can at all times.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
But having disagreements and having issues in relationships are inevitable.
It's a part of life, it's a part of growing.
It's a part of learning each other. So you cannot
go around that you cannot and nobody's perfect.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
But having disagreements and not in how you react to
those disagreements, are having disappointments or whatever, and how you
react that says a lot about who you are. If
you say something that I don't like and I push
you to the ground every time you do, then.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I got a problem. That's an issue.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
I should be able to not like what you say
or disagree what you with what you say, and it
not get to that point.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
But if I'm as.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Good to you as I possibly can, if i'm you know,
sometimes you get on my you know what, let me
alone or whatever, and we just agree to disagree and
agree not to hold on to it and carry it
into the next day.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
Miss Bowma says, that's true. You should never go to
bed angry.
Speaker 6 (38:03):
The couples who have been married for a very long
time that are happy couples, I'll promise you that's one
of the main things they will tell you. And it
would be wise for those of us who are not
married or have not been in successful marriages and relationships
happy to listen. That's all I'm gonna say about that,
She says. Lady j you're saying a mouthful. All right,
(38:24):
what you got over there?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
All right?
Speaker 3 (38:26):
The next post is, oh, this is a post. This
is not a means yeah, this is a post. I
was in a relationship for nine years. In January. She
gave me an ultimatum, so they ain't got no periods
in it. Okay, I'm gonna see this. This is one
thing that I struggle with. They don't use no kind
of punctuation, all right. So I was in a relationship
for nine years. In January, she gave me an ultimatum.
(38:47):
If I don't marry her by the end of the year,
I can leave. So I can leave, period. So I
left the best I left, period, the best decision I
ever made. Period. Now I haven't seen my daughter in
eight months. She's using the fact that I left her
talking about She's using the fact that I left her
(39:08):
talking about I abandoned them in the middle of a pandemic.
She gave me an ultimatum, and I made a choice.
Now she's hiding my daughter away from me based on
a choice I made to leave the relationship. I told
her we can have a ceremony and celebrate our love
and union. But I'm not signing papers. When I became conscious,
that was something that stuck with me, and I wasn't
(39:31):
doing it for no woman. I'm not sign a contract
agreement for the government to prove my love for a woman.
I don't care if we had twenty kids together. I'll
be single till I die before I do that. So
first and four first and foremost, you know he wrong
because he used no periods on commerce. There was no
(39:52):
capital letter in between that. So whatever he said is trash.
He's a trash human being because because there's no way
that you're a good human being and you don't use
no punctuations that don't happen. That's that's first thing. You
go ahead first, lady, and then okay.
Speaker 5 (40:08):
So I'm gonna say about that. This is my take
on it.
Speaker 6 (40:12):
One, she's wrong for using her, she's wrong for using
the child as upon. I hate when women do this.
The child has nothing to do with the issues that
you have with the man that you love her with
the father, you leave the child out of that. You
do not deprive the child of time and a relationship
(40:33):
with the parent. Now, she has every right to be
mad if it was understood in the beginning, because he
said when I became conscious, So that means that beforehand
he discussed getting married.
Speaker 5 (40:48):
He discussed moving into marriage with this woman.
Speaker 6 (40:53):
Now she's been with him for nine years now, The
fact that she was with him for nine years without
a ring, the fact that she allowed him to make
her a mother before he made her a wife, all
of those choices are on her. But at the same time.
This is what I was talking about before with the
other one. Men have to stop dragging women along and
(41:14):
telling them what they think, telling us what they think
we want to hear when it comes to marriage, because
it's not a plaything for us, for that's our goal.
Speaker 5 (41:25):
For some women, it's a wedding. For some woman, it's
actually marriage. So that's our goal.
Speaker 6 (41:29):
Now, you can't expect a woman to wait in limbo
forever for you to get your life together. If you
don't want to marry me, then let me go. So
the man that deserves me and wants to marry me
can do that.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Okay, all right, y'all pay attention now, all right, I
got some information now bypassed. I almost want to spend
her time talking putting the punctuations down on this thing
because it irritates me so bad.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
But I'm a bypass that. So first and foreman who
was more wrong?
Speaker 5 (42:01):
Both of them was wrong.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
Both of them's trash.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Why number one dude switched up how he was thinking
in the midst of their relationship once he became conscious.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
Now we don't what we don't know.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
We don't know if he became conscious before they were
in a relationship or while they were in a relationship.
But we know at some point he had a mindset
that was different than the mindset that he has now.
Did he express that mindset to her, that's a question.
Did he say something to her like, listen, I'm never
gonna actually get married according to the government, but we can,
(42:38):
we can sign these papers, we can do this, that
and the other.
Speaker 4 (42:40):
That's his prerogative, right, it's his right.
Speaker 5 (42:43):
Now.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Where I disagree is tell is when Lady J says
to let us go, let yourself go. You know what
I'm saying, let yourself go, because the only thing that's
that's holding you to that man is you.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
You know what I'm saying. It's kind of like you.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
It's kind of like the little video of the little
Asian kid that was sitting there holding on to the
to the rope in the water and he was screaming
and crying like he was about to drown, and all
they did was like push his feet down, and he
was like half of his body was standing up out
the water. Nothing is preventing her from leaving that man.
Nothing was. And they was together nine years. Not only
(43:25):
she had expectations that was different than what he was bringing.
Once you recognize and miss and miss Bowman asked a
questions like, how long is somebody supposed to wait? You're
not supposed to wait any longer than you want to wait.
The reason why you wait longer is you're hoping for
that person to change their mind. You don't have to
wait any longer than you want to wait. So you
(43:46):
waited nine years.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
And then you wait nine years. I'm sorry, I can't even.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Then you presented him with a ultimatum and you weren't
prepared for him to take the other option.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
That and that was your fault.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
You present an option, You said, okay, you got two
roads that you can take with me. I'm here at
the fork. You can take this role with me. You
can take this role by yourself. He was like, well,
I'm gon bounce on out. And you're like what because
you wasn't prepared for that option. If you're gonna present
somebody with an option, you make sure you're prepared for
them to take the alternative route. If you're not prepared,
(44:24):
don't present that option now. Once she once he took
that option, then she got enough feelings and wants to
punish him because he took an option that she wasn't
prepared for him to take. So now I'm gonna hold
your kids from you and.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
Stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
So where she wasn't only wrong just for keeping the
kids together, even that's the most even though that's the
most egregious thing that she's done, she wasn't only wrong
for that. She was also wrong for staying with him
longer than she wanted to. She was she was also
wrong for presenting an ultimatum when she wasn't prepared for
the ultimatum. She what you do is you present yourself
(45:01):
with an ultimatum. You tell yourself, Okay, I'm not willing
to go this route, and if he's willing to go
this route, I'm okay with moving this way.
Speaker 4 (45:13):
Because if he goes this.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Route by turning them left and saying, well, I'm gonna
be by myself, then you need to be okay with
that or else don't present the option.
Speaker 5 (45:21):
But here's the thing. Before we take our last break,
here's my thing. Men need to stop.
Speaker 6 (45:32):
Need to stop keeping women in limbo and making them
think that you are on the same page as the woman.
And what I mean by that is listen. At some
point they both agreed that you know this was the
route they were going. There's no way that he could
(45:53):
have felt about her the way she did about him.
Because any man that is presented with an ultimatum like that,
who really truly loves a woman and who's in love
with the man. And I'm not talking about what I think,
I'm talking about what I know based on what other
men have said and some men that I know personally
have known for sixteen plus years. Any man that is
(46:16):
with a woman that he does not want to lose,
if he has a healthy fear of losing her and
knows that she's the best thing for him and he
doesn't want to lose her, he's going to step his
game up and meet every standard in every expectation to make.
Speaker 5 (46:32):
And to lock her in period. The fact that he
walked away.
Speaker 6 (46:36):
So quickly after nine years and then and then was like, well, oh,
it's the happiest decision.
Speaker 5 (46:40):
It's the best decision I ever made.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
He was not.
Speaker 5 (46:44):
In love with her or committed to her or anything anyway.
Speaker 6 (46:49):
And when you talk about getting married, signing papers, and
it's not about showing your love for that person, you
do that with the union, with the actual, with the
actual ceremony.
Speaker 5 (47:02):
The civil or legal part is for what about when
you die or.
Speaker 6 (47:08):
When something happens to you, that person then has the
right to take care of your fairs and things of
that or otherwise you have other family members of all
this kind of stuff coming in talking about what they
want and what you need to do and all that
kind of stuff. People don't think about stuff like that.
So with that being said, we're gonna have to take
(47:29):
our last break because we only have about about thirteen
minutes left in the show, So we'll be right Backstick
and stay. You are tuned in the pillow talk with
your girl Lady Jay right here on JQLM Radio, division
of EGO Entertainment Network.
Speaker 5 (48:10):
Thank God took me away today. I pray I did
everything I could to honor you. And when I open
my eyes's des joy.
Speaker 11 (48:24):
Stay what a listen, I'm waking.
Speaker 5 (48:27):
Up next to you.
Speaker 11 (48:30):
Your yours is are the sweet surprise. Still can't believe
you're in my line thin impossible, It's possible because of you.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
I will love you.
Speaker 5 (48:44):
Past forever.
Speaker 7 (48:46):
I'll do anything for you.
Speaker 5 (48:52):
Your heart and soup. I'll do anything you out.
Speaker 11 (49:03):
Yea, I don't do any anything for you time I
don't want to waste no time more broken pieces from
the past.
Speaker 5 (49:20):
We have now.
Speaker 11 (49:21):
Nothing's bigger than right now, my community.
Speaker 5 (49:26):
And you are to be.
Speaker 11 (49:30):
I'll do what it changes, right the wrongs, my mistakes,
you give me, you give me a reason, you won't.
Speaker 5 (49:38):
Fight it, follow it's worth it. Whatever, I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
For you all mine.
Speaker 5 (50:01):
Please hot and you'll never know how full.
Speaker 6 (50:23):
And we are back and you are still tuned into
Pillow Talk with your Girl Lady j right here on
jq l M Radio, division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 5 (50:35):
So let's see, we have.
Speaker 6 (50:38):
Ten minutes left in the show, So let's get through
this real quick because I want to I just want
to point out some of these things real quick in
the last ten minutes of the show. And we may,
you know, talk a little bit after the show on
social media like we usually do. But so, this was
an article that I saw on social media, and it
talks about loving someone with anxiety. And let me just
(50:58):
say that it's something that I know all to well,
especially right now. It says someone with anxiety is inclined
to assume everyone is going to leave. This is true
so much so sometimes they might be the ones to
ruin a relationship. The truth is they battle something they
can't control and there is a sense of insecurity within
themselves when it comes to relationships. They know it's difficult
(51:20):
and they don't want to burden you with their irrational
thoughts and worries, so instead they push you away before
you get the chance to leave yourself. So that's a
show it within itself. So I'm just gonna give y'all
the things that they tell. This is a gear towards
somebody that is in a relationship with somebody that is
(51:41):
battling anxiety, and they say, remember they're worth fighting for.
Remember the person that you're with this battle anxiety is
worth fighting for. It may be hard, sometimes there might
be stupid fights of scenarios they've created in their own head,
but more than anything, they're worth fighting for. The toughest
people usually are, and if you can fight with them
through this, it'll come back to you tenfold. Sometimes they
(52:03):
just won't be up for going out. Accept their apologies.
Even if you don't understand. The phrase it's okay can
never be used enough. It's two words, two words that
stop every thought running through their head. And honestly, you
can never say it enough.
Speaker 5 (52:19):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 6 (52:20):
The best thing you can do for somebody that is
battling anxiety, for me, somebody like me, is to give reassurance.
Sometimes you just have to listen. They're going to play
out these situations in their mind. They're gonna jump from
point A to point B, and sometimes you're not even
gonna know how they got there. But the best thing
you can do is let them go off on their tangent.
Even if there's no solution or fear they worry about
(52:41):
in the future, the act of listening will help. Don't
be mad if they send a double text. You might
turn your phone on too four text. Now I ain't
do that, but some people do. If you can remember,
it's not that they're trying to be annoying.
Speaker 5 (52:52):
They care.
Speaker 6 (52:53):
They care too much, and they know it makes them
look bad. Help when you can, but know when you can't.
So they would rather have ten meltdowns, biting off more
than they can chew. And they will never admit they
can't handle something. They'll always say yes, They'll never turn
anyone away, And in those moments where it seems like
they are going to fall apart and break, just hold them,
(53:17):
don't tell them you're overreacting.
Speaker 5 (53:19):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 6 (53:20):
That's the worst thing that you can do, Okay, the
worst thing. If you want somebody to shut down and
stop being vulnerable with you and telling you stuff, then
keep telling them that. To you it might seem rational,
but to them, whatever they open up to you about,
it's something that actually keeps them up at night. So
just take it as best as you can. This is
very true. They probably won't sleep through the night, whether
(53:42):
it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep.
You'll be walking up by them at three am as
they lay there wide away. Just hold them close. Now,
I experience insomnia, so and let's see. Lastly, once trust
is gained, they'll love you unbelievably hard. This is also
true while uncomplete it to lists, plans, getting messed up,
text going unanswered might overwhelm someone with anxiety. If there
(54:05):
is something they are good at, it's love.
Speaker 5 (54:08):
Very true.
Speaker 6 (54:08):
If their ability to show you how much they ador
and I mean they have the ability to show you
how much they ador and appreciate you. It might take
them a while to trust you, but once they do,
their capacity to love you will feel you in ways
you didn't know you were empty or even missing something.
I loved this article because I could relate.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
Very interesting article. Okay, so I got another meme. It's like,
the question is, ladies, what's your response. So there's a
picture of a guy with a very nice haircut talking
to a lady and the lady sitting there smiling, and
the conversation goes, I guess he went up and tried
(54:48):
to holler at her, and she's like, I'm sorry, I
have a boyfriend. So the guy says, that's cool, but
I thought you might need a husband. Here's my number. Listen,
let me take something.
Speaker 4 (54:58):
Let me take something. All right, letna get real close
to this microphone.
Speaker 5 (55:03):
Game. Game game.
Speaker 3 (55:06):
If you respond to that level of game, then you
deserve to be single for the rest of your life.
Number one, because because that this guy right here, he cappin.
That's what the young folks called cappen. Is that what
it is, James, that's cap Yeah, that's cap right, you
know what that means. That's bull pockey, that's what that is.
(55:29):
That's what it says. That's bull. He don't plan on
doing anything that that guy that you with plans. In fact,
he plans on doing less. But he knows that if
he knows that women are women are attracted to what
they hear, just like guys are attracted to what they see.
That's why we give lines and women, uh go on diets.
(55:49):
So what you have to recognize is what this guy
right here just said is that I don't respect your relationship.
You could be happy in your relationship. Don't say that
she was sitting there struggling her relationship. It says this
guy could care less about her relationship. So you think
he gonna he can care less about your relationship, but
he cared about you. Come on, now, use a little
(56:11):
common sense.
Speaker 6 (56:12):
Uh, I agree to an extent, But listen. What he
did though, was lit'st see. What he did though, was
he did just throw shade. Because here's the thing. When
you make a statement like that, and let's just say
that she was one of the women in some of
these memes that been with you for nine years or
been with you for a certain period of time, and
(56:33):
you still ain't popped the question. What he did was
just told you you went a dude who just wants
to keep dragging you and using you. But hey, I'm
trying to find a wife. I'm trying to be somebody's husband.
So listen, if you.
Speaker 5 (56:46):
Got the you get the right one on the right day,
at the right time, you just might get a reply.
Speaker 4 (56:52):
Well, put some money aside for.
Speaker 3 (56:55):
A lawyer for the to get child support, because this
dude that is all at you right now is about
to try and run through you real quick. Maybe maybe
shoot the club up and get you pregnant and then
bounce out because he Any guy that doesn't any guy
that doesn't respect the relationship that you went, don't respect you.
So you could tell if you if you already over
(57:19):
there smiling, it's not like you're sitting there broken hearted
than crying and stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
What do he know about you?
Speaker 3 (57:25):
Within within the first interaction of meeting you, that let
him know that your wife materia nothing.
Speaker 4 (57:32):
So what does that tell you?
Speaker 3 (57:33):
He say that to every female, So you think you
can think you the golden ticket if you want to
you not. You probably trash. That's why you're talking to
him in the first place.
Speaker 6 (57:42):
Oh God, on that note, Uh, we're down to the
last probably minute and a half of the show now,
So this is a fun show.
Speaker 5 (57:50):
We're not the matter of fact.
Speaker 6 (57:51):
Maybe we should make this a segment where we just
take like three minutes and talk about maybe two I
think that'd be that'll be cool. So, uh, you've been
tuned into Pillow Talk with your girl, Lady Jane, and
this is a show to know and to grow love
and relationships. Y'all catch us here, Well, not next Sunday
because we'll be celebrating our anniversary, so we won't be
(58:14):
on air next week, but the week after you can
catch us. So thank y'all for tuning in, and you
can catch it on like I said, all the major
podcast platforms. If you missed it live tonight, love y'all,
Duces We out
Stop stop stop, stock.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Still stack still stack still stack still, stack still, stack
(01:51):
still stand.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
What's good people? How you're doing this? Boy Mark B
And you have arrived at Pillow Talk. Lady Jay is
over there getting stuff together, so you have to deal
with my voice.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
For right now.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
How you doing, everybody? It's been a while and we
appreciate you all for tuning in the jq ELM Radio.
If you are tuning in, then you already have the app.
But what you may not know is if you missed
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(02:48):
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He's Gonna Eat in Tea Net also Instagram, jql and
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(03:09):
you can catch us a whole bunch of different ways.
So how is everybody doing out there?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Man? Listen?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Twenty twenty twenty twenty is I know if I was
an alien watching this season of the World the Earth
on whatever whatever galactic media device out there that I'd
be watching, I'd be like man, this this episode this season.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
That's fire boy.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
They got everything popping off this season. They got they
got pandemics. They got a crazy president who act like
he don't know how to shut his mouth. Now he
got the COVID that he been pretending like he ain't had,
or pretending like I ain't exist. Out there, it's going down.
They got police killing black folk. It's all over the
(04:00):
place and looking around trying to find out why people
are so upset.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Is going down.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
But while all that is going down, while all of
that has happening, we are here at jq ellen Radio
to bring you all entertainment in various forms. We have
a lot of different shows on our network. So if
you are over the road truck driving, I want to
(04:29):
give a shout out to all the drivers out there
on the road, if you are working third shifts, if
you're working during the midday. We're twenty four hours radio station.
You can catch us at all time. If there's no
shows on, we'll still have music playing. We've got stuff
popping off every every day all day, So tune into
(04:53):
jq ellen Radio, Telling Nable, tell a friend. We're always
We're always going on. But Pillow Talk today lady lady,
just getting getting off our video the problem together. We
look kind of look like we uh, like we're in
the basement basement apartment, like somebody about to make it
(05:20):
rain or something like that. There we go, all right,
but we're bringing pillow talk to you today. It's been
a while, it's been a few quite a few months
since we've been able to do pillow talk. But we
are back. We're here with you. Where ah, We're ready
(05:46):
to go, Lady Jay, let's see.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
All right.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
So, I don't know that was the driest intro I
ever heard in my life. Mark just sitting up there
talking to you a mellow wasn't.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Wasn't playing all twenty minutes of of.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
Well listen, I'm gonna need him to act like he've
been doing the show for some years for real, because
the way he just brought it in was like we
knew it.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
This thing.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Is rough.
Speaker 6 (06:17):
Okay, So today's show is all about social media relationship shenanigans.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Listen.
Speaker 6 (06:26):
Okay, So you know, I'm not on social media a
whole lot unless I'm sharing some ads and promos and
marketing and stuff or just dropping you know, something about
my every day. But I have seen quite a few
hilarious and off the chain and encouraging and good relationship
(06:51):
material all in social media groups and on people's pages
and statuses and questions and strawberry letters and everything. So
I thought, since you know, it's been a while since
we've been on air, maybe the first show could be
something fun where we just kind of go over and
tackle bring out some of these things that we've seen
on social media. So if you want to give your
(07:14):
comment or ask a question, you can call in at
three one seven eight eight six zero two ninety six.
If you want to get the full effect of the
show and actually hear what's going on on the breaks
and the music and stuff being played, then Facebook, this
is not the platform for you to be watching this.
(07:35):
So of course we go live here just for the
conversational piece, because y'all know Facebook doesn't like music like
that even though we're licensed to play it, and we
won't try to get the full effect of the show.
So make sure that you go download those jql on
radio apps so you can listen live on air. This
is a radio show, so we need the ratings anyway,
or you can listen from our Facebook page to cook
(07:55):
on the used app button. You can listen from our
website and yeah, and if you miss pillow Talk, you
can go listen to it. And all the major podcast
platforms that's iHeartRadio, Spreaker, Spotify, all of the major podcasts platforms.
We will be on Pandora here soon as well as Amazon.
(08:18):
So yeah, so with that being said, I'll let you
start marketing. So we have some social media posts and
articles and questions and stuff that people put out there.
So we're just gonna give our take on it and
we're gonna have some fun tonight.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
So Mark you go first. What you got over there?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Okay, all gas, no breaks. You are too anointed for
someone to be unsure about marrying you. Your anointing is attractive, Okay.
Speaker 6 (08:52):
So we started out with a positive one, so I
like that. So I think I saw that in Oh
I need to say I do. That's a relationship group.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
I like that group. I've been in that group for
a few years, a couple of years.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
So for those who are believers, I think this post
speaks more to individuals who have been in a relationship
for a few years and maybe their spouse hasn't proposed
or something yet, and it says hashtag all gas no breaks.
(09:28):
So Mark, what shall take on that one?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I don't know what the all gas no Break mean.
Don't get that.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I don't get that statement. But I think that that
people definitely need to know where they are and and
know their own worth in a relationship you go in.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
I think a lot of people go.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Into relationships trying to trying to match the other person
instead of going into a relationship, uh, knowing what they're
looking for and knowing what their what their goal is,
or what their objective is. I think that's that's an issue.
That's an issue that a lot of people go into
a relationship with.
Speaker 7 (10:06):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
If I'm just especially if if one person is doing
the heavy lifting or doing most of the heavy lifting
when it comes to being an adult or whatever, and
the other person is kind of like in AWE, are
sitting on the sidelines, are waiting or whatever, Usually that
one person is doing everything just to appease that person,
(10:27):
but they're not living, they're not enjoying their own experience
in it. So in those type of scenarios, you've gone
into the relationship all trying to impress this person and
trying to trying to be what this other person is
looking for, or be what this other person wants without investigating. Okay,
(10:49):
what do you want in a relationship? What are you
looking for in a relationship.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
So, but here's the thing with that, with this, with this,
this saying you're too anointed for someone to be unsure
about marrying you.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Your anointing is attractive.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Okay, So let's just talk about because this particular one
was geared towards believers.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
Okay.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
So, if you're already in a relationship with somebody for
a certain amount for you know, let's say let's say three, four, five, six,
seven years, and they have not proposed, I'm pretty sure
that marriage has come up in conversation a few times,
and if the person is still with that person, I'm
pretty sure that the guy has said, well, yeah, the
(11:28):
goal is marriage, and yes I want to be married,
and things that sort. So why do you think that
men feel like it's okay to drag women along and.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Think that they're going supposed to wait around for.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
Them to marry them, Because then you have women who
are either upset that the man did not propose and
she had to walk away after after staying in the
relationship with the understanding that hey, this is leading, this
is gonna lead us for his marriage. Or you have
the guys that are upset that she walked away and
(12:03):
now he trying to get her back and then proposing
when you should have just did that when you had
her to begin with.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
There's multiple different reasons why somebody would would not want
to or not feel comfortable marrying somebody.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
So it depends.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I think that if you know what you're looking for
when you go into a relationship, that helps. If you
know what the where the person is when they get
into the relationship, that helps. Also, even though the person
misspelled your uh, we're gonna buy past that Facebook. But
when you're attractive, your anointing is attractive.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
No, actually that's correct. If you are No, No, you're right,
you're anointing.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
You're right. I'm a little bit a little bit about something.
I mean, but No. I think that that.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Everybody believes that their marriage ready, Like every woman who
wants to be married believes that their marriage ready. That's
the mindset. Like everyone believes that she's a queen. Every
woman believes that she's the best. That that that if
there's a failure in the relationship or if there's a
failure in the situation, it's got to be his fault.
That's that's the mindset. It can't be my fault. I'm
(13:15):
pretty so it can't be my fault. It's his fault.
He's the one that fault. Problem is, there's a lot
of people whose goal is only marriage, their goal or
their goal is only the wedding. Their goal isn't marriage
because if they invested in the in the marriage part,
then the it would it would already be a mindset,
(13:37):
it would it would probably already have happened already if
they were that kind of person, and they would probably
be dating somebody who had that as a mindset. Also
that you know, this is somebody who I'm ready to
lock down now, But everybody isn't.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
Okay, truth matter, Okay, So teres Sina shout out to
miss Bowman, Hey, miss Bowman, how are you?
Speaker 5 (13:57):
We love you and I miss you. She says, I
think this is what I'm doing. I shouldn't be doing this. Listen.
I agree.
Speaker 6 (14:05):
If you're with somebody in a relation, if you're in
a relationship with someone and the understanding from the beginning
or from a certain point in your relationship was that hey,
I'm not dating you just to be dating you. I'm
dating you to work towards a building a marriage together
or being married. Then if both parties agree to that,
(14:25):
then it's not fair for the guy to either want
the woman to to be okay with waiting for him,
because he should have been ready. First of all, you
shouldn't be dating with the goal of marriage. If you
feel like, if you know that you're not ready for marriage,
don't do it.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I think only women go into a relationship with that
kind of mind, with with the end game in mind.
I think women like that guy going up to a
female and seeing y'all got y'all best dress on, and
y'all got the leave it showing and stuff like that,
he ain't going to Oh she looked like she's gonna
be a good wife.
Speaker 6 (15:04):
No, Paul, because I know some men who will be like,
you know what, I'm gonna make her my wife. Let
me let me let me give this matter of fact.
Any god, and they did marry me. They said that
I was gonna be their wife.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Let me tell you this.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Any guy, any guy who looks at you in the
beginning and says that I'm gonna make you my wife
is toxic any guy, anyone, because most guys want to
at least find out what you about first. Nobody looks
like they're gonna be a good wife. Nobody does. Miss
Bowman said, every woman is queen, miss Bowman. Some some
(15:42):
is justice out here and some some women's is means.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
So wait now, I.
Speaker 6 (15:49):
Will say, I don't believe that every woman is a queen.
I don't believe that every man is a king. And
I'm gonna tell you why. When in any type of
royal court, there are gestures, there are handmade in there
are there are princes, there are princesses, there are kings,
there are queens, there are everybody. There's a lot of
people that have a role, and it's all it's based
(16:10):
upon that person's character and what they've been groomed or
taught and things of that sort. And there are some
people who are not interested in And because here's the thing,
certain certain characteristic, certain integrity, a level of integrity, and
certain behaviors about yourself makes you rise to a certain standard,
(16:33):
and some people are not interested in that.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
So you know, you.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
Can't be out here sleeping with every time they can
hear you and call yourself, queen. I'm sorry, just not it.
You can't be out here womanizing, being a womanizer or
a horrormonger, as the Bible says, and call yourself a king.
You just can't do it. You can't be out here
playing people. You can't be out here being a player
and happy about being a player and thinking that that's
cute and calling yourself a king.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
No, that you a jester. Joke.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
You're a joker, that's m said. She totally disagrees with
what I understand. It's most people do. Most people told
me disagree with what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (17:03):
So we only got an hour, and we got a
couple of leaves we gotta get through. So let's go
to the next one. So the next one is, uh
this this was a meme, and the meme says, two
weeks after you accept his proposal, he asks you, do
you want a big wedding or a house ladies, what's
your response? Okay, so on this post, yes, we had
(17:25):
a lot of women. That's saying both of them we had.
Now the question is one or the other. Clearly you
can't have both. Either you want a big wedding or
you wanna or you want a house.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Now.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
Some women was like, well, if.
Speaker 6 (17:39):
He can't give me both, why can't Why can't I
have a big wedding and a house.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
He should have enough money.
Speaker 6 (17:44):
If he don't have enough money to do that, to
do both of them, that he shouldn't be asking me
to marry him, or we should listen. Let me just say,
let me just say I'd rather have And first of all,
I don't want a house. I'm I'm trying to work
towards this mini mansion. Okay, bump a big wedding. I've
already had that. Even if I didn't have that, I
would still want the house because you can always go
(18:07):
back and have a celebration. Just let the reception be
super dope. That's all I care about. And the honeymoon.
As far as having a big wedding. The wedding, let
me tell you something I spent. We spent a lot
of money when I first got married. I spent a
lot of money. Even though we recouped everything that we
spent in then some in gifts.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Shout out to all the friends and family.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
But but that's more so for the people. I mean,
you you buying all this food, It ain't it ain't
just for you and him to eat you buying.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
You know you you're you, you getting all.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
These uh making sure that you have a venue big
enough to see all these people when they're not the
ones getting married.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
You know what I'm saying. Listen, it's not that. It's
not that deep, ladies.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
If you want to exercise in futility, put up a
post asking women to choose one thing or the other,
because most women are always gonna say both of them,
especially if it's two good options. Now, the only way
you're gonna get a contrast is if you say do
you want God or the devil? And then they'll be like, well,
I want God, give me Jesus. That's the only that's
the only time you're gonna get Oh. No, I have
(19:16):
a distinct differential, but you know, I think the the
mindset is do you want to uh do you want
to build or do you want to be showing off
for folks? If you want to build, if you if
your goal is to build a life with somebody, then
when you ask a question like do you want a
(19:38):
do you want a big wedding or do you want
a house? The woman who is looking at the marriage,
the woman who's looking at the life after the wedding
is going to be like, I want the house, so
let's have something small because I'm only focused on me
and you. Because a wedding, truth be told, the wedding
is basically for friends and family. It's a celebration of
(19:59):
you all's uni. It's not necessary. It's not like if
you don't have a wedding, then y'all ain't married.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Listen. It's a celebration with your people.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
So when you have that big wedding, it's a big
celebration for a whole bunch of people, most of who
you don't really know. But if I could do it
all family though you want a house.
Speaker 6 (20:18):
Yeah, if I could do it all over again, I
wouldn't even have family, extended family friends. They are just
my kids. Well I didn't have kids at the time.
But if I didn't have kids, just my kids and
a maybe maybe a.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
And a what do you call it? The person that
is no witness, And that's it.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
My Mam and daddy, family, friends, everybody else can join
and celebrate at the reception. You don't have to be
there for a ceremony. First of all, I'm not making
the vows to you. Okay, I'm making the vows to
the person, so I wouldn't even need all that. Just
my kids, if I don't have no kids, then just
the witness, you know what I'm saying, the pastor, and
that's it, and then we move on. First of all,
(20:59):
it's it's too long. I'm drawn out. Okay, just get
this over. Let's get this time.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
At the big wedding that I had, it was it
was enjoyable. I had a good time. But when it
was all said and done, it was a lot of
money spent on folks that most of them you you
don't really speak to a whole lot is, you know,
especially because you got their friends and you got your friends,
and you're not really going to become best friends with them,
(21:27):
you know, because those are their friends. So when it's
all said and done, it's a lot of it's a
lot of money spent. It's a good time, you know,
it's a nice party and everything.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
But yeah, so we're gonna take our first break, so
stick and state, we'll be right back. You're tuned into
Pillow Talk right here on j q l M Radio
with your girl Lady j a division of Ego Entertainment network.
Speaker 8 (21:57):
Sometimes make me so crazy, But I I'm still your baby. No,
I going away. No, I gonna be right.
Speaker 7 (22:13):
Because I'm crazy.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Oh. You you are.
Speaker 8 (22:24):
Complete surprise and not. You're not the type of life
that I thought.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
I would live.
Speaker 8 (22:32):
But you know I can't see my life and fill you.
I'm crazy b.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
For you.
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Crazy.
Speaker 9 (22:48):
Oh, I don't know what I'm doing and but I
I'm gonna keep evil.
Speaker 8 (23:00):
Moved because I believe in the bow of us. I
believe in its calm.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Oh, else where this all will go. I've got my
FeAs for sure.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
I'm giving you on God, I'm.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Giving you own mard.
Speaker 7 (23:28):
Oh I'm crazy, Oh value, Sometimes you make no sense
at all, But somehow I know it's just.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Who you are.
Speaker 8 (23:50):
Nice only falling evil.
Speaker 10 (23:55):
People in to us crazy crazy, Oh this is not
(24:16):
co incidence and fun.
Speaker 8 (24:20):
Then lucky chance for us ament this event in the
sky fuller.
Speaker 6 (24:42):
Have you subscribed yet to our free online digital interactive magazine,
The Ego Magazine. No, We'll head on over to www
Dot Ego entertainmentnet dot com and subscribe now. This magazine
is all about showcasing and supporting excellence and communities everywhere,
from music, arts and culture, relationships, finance, education, politics, sports, news,
(25:05):
and so much more. While you're flipping through the pages,
just click on the tents on the pictures that you
see and you'll be taken to a whole nother world
behind the articles. At Ego Entertainment, everyone is a star.
There is something in it for everyone, and I hope
you are positively impacted by what you see and will
continue to support. This is your girl, Lady Jay, owner
(25:27):
and operator of Ego Entertainment and creator of the Ego
magazine Enjoy.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
This is Kiki ju LM Radio. Okay, all right and
we are back.
Speaker 6 (26:04):
You are tuned into Pillow Talk with your girl, Lady
j Mark b right here on j q l M Radio,
division of Ego Entertainment Network. And before the break, we
did our first two social media posts that we saw
on social media and and gave our take on it.
One was about proposing, you know, after being with somebody
(26:25):
for a while, said your your anointing is attractive.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
I don't know anointing is attractive.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
And then we were talking about the ladies were given
a question as to whether or not they would either
want a big house or a big wedding.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I love to see the statistical data on how many
people actually chose one before they got shamed that I'd
love to say, I know, like seventy eight percent.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
It was like both of.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Them, all right. So up next is another meme.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Yeah, this is the picture I just showed Jorde. It says,
when you come out of the shower and it has
a picture of your phone, it says, try again in
forty two seconds, and your girl pretending.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Like she sleep.
Speaker 6 (27:19):
Only yeah, so your phone is on the left hand
side for those who are listening on air. On the
left hand side is when you come out the shower, when.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
The guys on the shower come out of the shower,
and your phone is lit up and the lock screen
is on, and it says try again in forty two seconds,
because you know, somebody tried to get into your phone.
And then on the other side, somebody put like a
baby doll, one of those ones that that the eyes
go to sleep and stuff like that, and put it
down there, and like that's your girl pretending like she
sleep like like somehow it's just magically the screen just
(27:51):
magically popped on.
Speaker 6 (27:53):
So listen, here's my thing about that sneaking and going
through somebody's phone. Now, if you investigating all the type
of person where if I will ask you a question.
So let's say, if I if I think that you're cheating,
I'm gonna ask you and give you an opportunity to
be honest if you lie to me and I find
out later, because listen, everything you do in the darkness,
I'm come to the light if I find out later,
(28:15):
whether somebody sees you out and they tell me, whether
I find a letter, or if I know in my
you know, women's intuition, if I just know that something
ain't right, then I'm the type of person I want
to investigate because I want to make sure that I'm
not overreacting or assuming something.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Now.
Speaker 6 (28:32):
Once I find out, there are consequences that follow. So
I'm not one of those people who just you know,
find out and be like, argue with you about it,
and then you know, we and then we move on like,
ain't nothing happened? Now going through somebody's phone, if you're investigating,
I mean, I just ask.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I mean for that now.
Speaker 6 (28:55):
For me personally, I don't mind if somebody asks to
see my phone or go through my phone because I
don't have anything to hide and Actually that was an
exercise in marriage class. When I took marriage class a
few years ago, we had to switch phones for twenty
four hours. All the couples, I think it was like
twelve couples. We were all we have to switch phones
for like twenty four hours, and let me tell you
(29:18):
some of them. You know, you know, you knew that
you were doing something that you had no business doing.
Speaker 5 (29:24):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (29:25):
If you know you're not an honest person, if you
know that you're a cheater, then you probably don't want
to give yourself away by the things that you do
with your phone, like always putting it face down you
know what I'm saying, or not answering calls when that
person is around, all that good stuff, and then maybe
you won't have, you know, people trying to snoop.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Look, by the time you are at the snoop through
somebody's phone phase, the relationship is done. It honestly, it
truly is done because two things. One, you almost never
find what you want, and I mean that in a
figurative way. Off So, because you're going through the person's
(30:10):
phone because you want to not find out that they're
doing something that they ain't got no business doing. That's
one thing, and you might find that they are. Are
you go through the person's phone and thinking that you
know what they're doing and find nothing. At that point,
the consequences for the relationship would be the same. Should
(30:31):
be the same on the opposite end as a guy
as it would be for the female if she actually
found something. Because if you go through the phone and
you don't find nothing, why he still want to be
with you?
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Why is it? Oh my bad? This is just a
test run.
Speaker 6 (30:46):
If you give somebody a reason to not trust you,
you can't then be upset with that person.
Speaker 5 (30:51):
Because here's the thing. If you truly want to be
with the person.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
And you say, like a lot of guys say, and
like a lot of girls say, oh I made a mistake,
then you should be willing to do what it needs
to be done to fix that issue. Because here's the thing,
earning somebody's trust. Earning somebody's trust is easier in the
beginning than trying to rebuild trust once you have done
something to.
Speaker 5 (31:12):
Break that trust.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Absolutely no.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Justifiable reason for somebody to go through somebody else's property
without them There's no justifiable reason you can you can
justify it to yourself because you're in a relationship and
you need to know and uh, and you don't want
to be played and stuff like that. Okay, but there's
really no justifiable reason because he's not allowed he's not.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Uh, he's not allowed to to.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
What word I want to use, he's not he's not
allowed to invade your privacy without there being a cost.
And you won't be able to invade his privacy without
there being a cost. It's just not gonna happen. So
you can do it you and you can have and
I'm plenty of women who have. But if you just
so happy and to find out that it really isn't him,
(32:03):
that it's really your insecurities and there's nothing going on,
then guess what. You messed up a good relationship because
you didn't get yourself together, and before you entered into
that relationship, you still carried on damage that you had
from the previous relationship, and you started pushing that damage
on him or blaming him and thinking that he's doing
something that he ain't got no business because because you
(32:26):
became neurotic. So before you get to the phase of
I'm gonna be checking somebody, and before you start making
light of it, and this, that and the other, which
is basically given other women who may not have the
self control or discipline that you have the greenlight before
you do that. If you don't feel like you can
(32:46):
trust the person, just back away. It's easier to do
it that way.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
My opinion.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
Well, moving on to the next meme. This one is
a meme.
Speaker 6 (32:58):
It says old couple didn't go to bed mad at
each other. This new generation will start another relationship while
you're dozing off. So I thought that was funny, and
it's true to an extent, you know.
Speaker 5 (33:13):
So here's the thing.
Speaker 6 (33:13):
I was given the same advice by my uncle, one
of my favorite uncle. Actually, when I first got married.
The the and I've heard other couple say this. I
heard a couple who was married for sixty something years
that was on Steve.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
This is another. This was something else that they said.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
A lot of couple say that you never go to
bed mad because you don't know what's gonna happen in
the next few and the twenty four hours. Now here's
the thing, you know, people say, well, nobody lives like
that until you're faced with the situation where you could
have lost that person. Just in the blinking of an eye,
for instance, like I just had a rupture brain aneurism
(33:51):
not too long ago.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
Now I don't.
Speaker 6 (33:57):
It's it's It doesn't serve any good part purpose to
hold a grudge or be angry with someone for a
long period of time.
Speaker 5 (34:06):
It just doesn't.
Speaker 6 (34:07):
Because I can die tomorrow or in the next few
minutes and wouldn't even know. I could stroke have a stroke,
and the people around me should love me enough and
care enough to address issues while it's there, and not
do that because I face, you know, not being able
(34:30):
to speak and say bye to my children, you know,
and and a bunch of other things. So it is
very important that when you are in relationship with somebody
and you really truly love that person, do not go
to bed angry.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
I agree with the premise of the statement. I don't
agree that old relationships they didn't go to bed mad
each man.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
They stayed mad at each other.
Speaker 3 (34:57):
They couldn't leave one another because women couldn't own property
back then, so they'd had to stay with that old,
uh slew foot ugly husband that they had. They ain't like,
but they they stayed with them. I think the premise, though,
are not of appreciating your time with the person and
not being or not staying mad at somebody. Understanding that
(35:20):
life is fleeting. I think that's important. But the truth
of the matter is though people people can't live on
edge like that. They can do their best, but you can,
you can appreciate the person. But kids still gonna be bad.
You know, they still gonna ignore. How is they still
gonna ignore what their moms say? They the the friend
(35:41):
that you have. They they might love on you real
tough while you're sick, but as soon as they seem
that you're well and stuff like that, they they aren't
as tuned in as far as like calling every.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Day and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (35:54):
How is it living on edge when there's nothing about
there's nothing living on it. There is nothing about not
going to bed angry, living on edge when there's an
issue it needs to be addressed before you close your eyes.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Then there's sometimes where you just don't agree and to
agree to disagree, well being if you go if somebody
has a difference of opinion and they don't like your
opinion and you don't like their opinion, and you all
just agree, we not gonna argue about this no more.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
I think sometimes that's the best you can do.
Speaker 6 (36:30):
Yeah, But when when I think when they say, don't
go to bed angry, and he's like, if I'm if
I didn't cust you out and called you every name
in the book and we mad at each other and
then we go to sleep. The last words I said
to you before you end up dead or in the
hospital was I hate you when you get on my
nerves mid Now you gotta walk around and live with
that for your for the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (36:51):
Ain't no coming back.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
For The best thing you should do is try and
be as kind or or be as good to the
person that you're with as you can at all times.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:01):
But having disagreements and having issues in relationships are inevitable.
It's a part of life, it's a part of growing.
It's a part of learning each other. So you cannot
go around that you cannot and nobody's perfect.
Speaker 3 (37:16):
But having disagreements and not in how you react to
those disagreements, are having disappointments or whatever, and how you
react that says a lot about who you are. If
you say something that I don't like and I push
you to the ground every time you do, then.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I got a problem. That's an issue.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
I should be able to not like what you say
or disagree what you with what you say, and it
not get to that point.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
But if I'm as.
Speaker 3 (37:44):
Good to you as I possibly can, if i'm you know,
sometimes you get on my you know what, let me
alone or whatever, and we just agree to disagree and
agree not to hold on to it and carry it
into the next day.
Speaker 5 (37:59):
Miss Bowma says, that's true. You should never go to
bed angry.
Speaker 6 (38:03):
The couples who have been married for a very long
time that are happy couples, I'll promise you that's one
of the main things they will tell you. And it
would be wise for those of us who are not
married or have not been in successful marriages and relationships
happy to listen. That's all I'm gonna say about that,
She says. Lady j you're saying a mouthful. All right,
(38:24):
what you got over there?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
All right?
Speaker 3 (38:26):
The next post is, oh, this is a post. This
is not a means yeah, this is a post. I
was in a relationship for nine years. In January. She
gave me an ultimatum, so they ain't got no periods
in it. Okay, I'm gonna see this. This is one
thing that I struggle with. They don't use no kind
of punctuation, all right. So I was in a relationship
for nine years. In January, she gave me an ultimatum.
(38:47):
If I don't marry her by the end of the year,
I can leave. So I can leave, period. So I
left the best I left, period, the best decision I
ever made. Period. Now I haven't seen my daughter in
eight months. She's using the fact that I left her
talking about She's using the fact that I left her
(39:08):
talking about I abandoned them in the middle of a pandemic.
She gave me an ultimatum, and I made a choice.
Now she's hiding my daughter away from me based on
a choice I made to leave the relationship. I told
her we can have a ceremony and celebrate our love
and union. But I'm not signing papers. When I became conscious,
that was something that stuck with me, and I wasn't
(39:31):
doing it for no woman. I'm not sign a contract
agreement for the government to prove my love for a woman.
I don't care if we had twenty kids together. I'll
be single till I die before I do that. So
first and four first and foremost, you know he wrong
because he used no periods on commerce. There was no
(39:52):
capital letter in between that. So whatever he said is trash.
He's a trash human being because because there's no way
that you're a good human being and you don't use
no punctuations that don't happen. That's that's first thing. You
go ahead first, lady, and then okay.
Speaker 5 (40:08):
So I'm gonna say about that. This is my take
on it.
Speaker 6 (40:12):
One, she's wrong for using her, she's wrong for using
the child as upon. I hate when women do this.
The child has nothing to do with the issues that
you have with the man that you love her with
the father, you leave the child out of that. You
do not deprive the child of time and a relationship
(40:33):
with the parent. Now, she has every right to be
mad if it was understood in the beginning, because he
said when I became conscious, So that means that beforehand
he discussed getting married.
Speaker 5 (40:48):
He discussed moving into marriage with this woman.
Speaker 6 (40:53):
Now she's been with him for nine years now, The
fact that she was with him for nine years without
a ring, the fact that she allowed him to make
her a mother before he made her a wife, all
of those choices are on her. But at the same time.
This is what I was talking about before with the
other one. Men have to stop dragging women along and
(41:14):
telling them what they think, telling us what they think
we want to hear when it comes to marriage, because
it's not a plaything for us, for that's our goal.
Speaker 5 (41:25):
For some women, it's a wedding. For some woman, it's
actually marriage. So that's our goal.
Speaker 6 (41:29):
Now, you can't expect a woman to wait in limbo
forever for you to get your life together. If you
don't want to marry me, then let me go. So
the man that deserves me and wants to marry me
can do that.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Okay, all right, y'all pay attention now, all right, I
got some information now bypassed. I almost want to spend
her time talking putting the punctuations down on this thing
because it irritates me so bad.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
But I'm a bypass that. So first and foreman who
was more wrong?
Speaker 5 (42:01):
Both of them was wrong.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
Both of them's trash.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Why number one dude switched up how he was thinking
in the midst of their relationship once he became conscious.
Speaker 4 (42:13):
Now we don't what we don't know.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
We don't know if he became conscious before they were
in a relationship or while they were in a relationship.
But we know at some point he had a mindset
that was different than the mindset that he has now.
Did he express that mindset to her, that's a question.
Did he say something to her like, listen, I'm never
gonna actually get married according to the government, but we can,
(42:38):
we can sign these papers, we can do this, that
and the other.
Speaker 4 (42:40):
That's his prerogative, right, it's his right.
Speaker 5 (42:43):
Now.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Where I disagree is tell is when Lady J says
to let us go, let yourself go. You know what
I'm saying, let yourself go, because the only thing that's
that's holding you to that man is you.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
You know what I'm saying. It's kind of like you.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
It's kind of like the little video of the little
Asian kid that was sitting there holding on to the
to the rope in the water and he was screaming
and crying like he was about to drown, and all
they did was like push his feet down, and he
was like half of his body was standing up out
the water. Nothing is preventing her from leaving that man.
Nothing was. And they was together nine years. Not only
(43:25):
she had expectations that was different than what he was bringing.
Once you recognize and miss and miss Bowman asked a
questions like, how long is somebody supposed to wait? You're
not supposed to wait any longer than you want to wait.
The reason why you wait longer is you're hoping for
that person to change their mind. You don't have to
wait any longer than you want to wait. So you
(43:46):
waited nine years.
Speaker 5 (43:48):
And then you wait nine years. I'm sorry, I can't even.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Then you presented him with a ultimatum and you weren't
prepared for him to take the other option.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
That and that was your fault.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
You present an option, You said, okay, you got two
roads that you can take with me. I'm here at
the fork. You can take this role with me. You
can take this role by yourself. He was like, well,
I'm gon bounce on out. And you're like what because
you wasn't prepared for that option. If you're gonna present
somebody with an option, you make sure you're prepared for
them to take the alternative route. If you're not prepared,
(44:24):
don't present that option now. Once she once he took
that option, then she got enough feelings and wants to
punish him because he took an option that she wasn't
prepared for him to take. So now I'm gonna hold
your kids from you and.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
Stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
So where she wasn't only wrong just for keeping the
kids together, even that's the most even though that's the
most egregious thing that she's done, she wasn't only wrong
for that. She was also wrong for staying with him
longer than she wanted to. She was she was also
wrong for presenting an ultimatum when she wasn't prepared for
the ultimatum. She what you do is you present yourself
(45:01):
with an ultimatum. You tell yourself, Okay, I'm not willing
to go this route, and if he's willing to go
this route, I'm okay with moving this way.
Speaker 4 (45:13):
Because if he goes this.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Route by turning them left and saying, well, I'm gonna
be by myself, then you need to be okay with
that or else don't present the option.
Speaker 5 (45:21):
But here's the thing. Before we take our last break,
here's my thing. Men need to stop.
Speaker 6 (45:32):
Need to stop keeping women in limbo and making them
think that you are on the same page as the woman.
And what I mean by that is listen. At some
point they both agreed that you know this was the
route they were going. There's no way that he could
(45:53):
have felt about her the way she did about him.
Because any man that is presented with an ultimatum like that,
who really truly loves a woman and who's in love
with the man. And I'm not talking about what I think,
I'm talking about what I know based on what other
men have said and some men that I know personally
have known for sixteen plus years. Any man that is
(46:16):
with a woman that he does not want to lose,
if he has a healthy fear of losing her and
knows that she's the best thing for him and he
doesn't want to lose her, he's going to step his
game up and meet every standard in every expectation to make.
Speaker 5 (46:32):
And to lock her in period. The fact that he
walked away.
Speaker 6 (46:36):
So quickly after nine years and then and then was like, well, oh,
it's the happiest decision.
Speaker 5 (46:40):
It's the best decision I ever made.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
He was not.
Speaker 5 (46:44):
In love with her or committed to her or anything anyway.
Speaker 6 (46:49):
And when you talk about getting married, signing papers, and
it's not about showing your love for that person, you
do that with the union, with the actual, with the
actual ceremony.
Speaker 5 (47:02):
The civil or legal part is for what about when
you die or.
Speaker 6 (47:08):
When something happens to you, that person then has the
right to take care of your fairs and things of
that or otherwise you have other family members of all
this kind of stuff coming in talking about what they
want and what you need to do and all that
kind of stuff. People don't think about stuff like that.
So with that being said, we're gonna have to take
(47:29):
our last break because we only have about about thirteen
minutes left in the show, So we'll be right Backstick
and stay. You are tuned in the pillow talk with
your girl Lady Jay right here on JQLM Radio, division
of EGO Entertainment Network.
Speaker 5 (48:10):
Thank God took me away today. I pray I did
everything I could to honor you. And when I open
my eyes's des joy.
Speaker 11 (48:24):
Stay what a listen, I'm waking.
Speaker 5 (48:27):
Up next to you.
Speaker 11 (48:30):
Your yours is are the sweet surprise. Still can't believe
you're in my line thin impossible, It's possible because of you.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
I will love you.
Speaker 5 (48:44):
Past forever.
Speaker 7 (48:46):
I'll do anything for you.
Speaker 5 (48:52):
Your heart and soup. I'll do anything you out.
Speaker 11 (49:03):
Yea, I don't do any anything for you time I
don't want to waste no time more broken pieces from
the past.
Speaker 5 (49:20):
We have now.
Speaker 11 (49:21):
Nothing's bigger than right now, my community.
Speaker 5 (49:26):
And you are to be.
Speaker 11 (49:30):
I'll do what it changes, right the wrongs, my mistakes,
you give me, you give me a reason, you won't.
Speaker 5 (49:38):
Fight it, follow it's worth it. Whatever, I'll do it.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
For you all mine.
Speaker 5 (50:01):
Please hot and you'll never know how full.
Speaker 6 (50:23):
And we are back and you are still tuned into
Pillow Talk with your Girl Lady j right here on
jq l M Radio, division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 5 (50:35):
So let's see, we have.
Speaker 6 (50:38):
Ten minutes left in the show, So let's get through
this real quick because I want to I just want
to point out some of these things real quick in
the last ten minutes of the show. And we may,
you know, talk a little bit after the show on
social media like we usually do. But so, this was
an article that I saw on social media, and it
talks about loving someone with anxiety. And let me just
(50:58):
say that it's something that I know all to well,
especially right now. It says someone with anxiety is inclined
to assume everyone is going to leave. This is true
so much so sometimes they might be the ones to
ruin a relationship. The truth is they battle something they
can't control and there is a sense of insecurity within
themselves when it comes to relationships. They know it's difficult
(51:20):
and they don't want to burden you with their irrational
thoughts and worries, so instead they push you away before
you get the chance to leave yourself. So that's a
show it within itself. So I'm just gonna give y'all
the things that they tell. This is a gear towards
somebody that is in a relationship with somebody that is
(51:41):
battling anxiety, and they say, remember they're worth fighting for.
Remember the person that you're with this battle anxiety is
worth fighting for. It may be hard, sometimes there might
be stupid fights of scenarios they've created in their own head,
but more than anything, they're worth fighting for. The toughest
people usually are, and if you can fight with them
through this, it'll come back to you tenfold. Sometimes they
(52:03):
just won't be up for going out. Accept their apologies.
Even if you don't understand. The phrase it's okay can
never be used enough. It's two words, two words that
stop every thought running through their head. And honestly, you
can never say it enough.
Speaker 5 (52:19):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 6 (52:20):
The best thing you can do for somebody that is
battling anxiety, for me, somebody like me, is to give reassurance.
Sometimes you just have to listen. They're going to play
out these situations in their mind. They're gonna jump from
point A to point B, and sometimes you're not even
gonna know how they got there. But the best thing
you can do is let them go off on their tangent.
Even if there's no solution or fear they worry about
(52:41):
in the future, the act of listening will help. Don't
be mad if they send a double text. You might
turn your phone on too four text. Now I ain't
do that, but some people do. If you can remember,
it's not that they're trying to be annoying.
Speaker 5 (52:52):
They care.
Speaker 6 (52:53):
They care too much, and they know it makes them
look bad. Help when you can, but know when you can't.
So they would rather have ten meltdowns, biting off more
than they can chew. And they will never admit they
can't handle something. They'll always say yes, They'll never turn
anyone away, And in those moments where it seems like
they are going to fall apart and break, just hold them,
(53:17):
don't tell them you're overreacting.
Speaker 5 (53:19):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 6 (53:20):
That's the worst thing that you can do, Okay, the
worst thing. If you want somebody to shut down and
stop being vulnerable with you and telling you stuff, then
keep telling them that. To you it might seem rational,
but to them, whatever they open up to you about,
it's something that actually keeps them up at night. So
just take it as best as you can. This is
very true. They probably won't sleep through the night, whether
(53:42):
it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep.
You'll be walking up by them at three am as
they lay there wide away. Just hold them close. Now,
I experience insomnia, so and let's see. Lastly, once trust
is gained, they'll love you unbelievably hard. This is also
true while uncomplete it to lists, plans, getting messed up,
text going unanswered might overwhelm someone with anxiety. If there
(54:05):
is something they are good at, it's love.
Speaker 5 (54:08):
Very true.
Speaker 6 (54:08):
If their ability to show you how much they ador
and I mean they have the ability to show you
how much they ador and appreciate you. It might take
them a while to trust you, but once they do,
their capacity to love you will feel you in ways
you didn't know you were empty or even missing something.
I loved this article because I could relate.
Speaker 3 (54:26):
Very interesting article. Okay, so I got another meme. It's like,
the question is, ladies, what's your response. So there's a
picture of a guy with a very nice haircut talking
to a lady and the lady sitting there smiling, and
the conversation goes, I guess he went up and tried
(54:48):
to holler at her, and she's like, I'm sorry, I
have a boyfriend. So the guy says, that's cool, but
I thought you might need a husband. Here's my number. Listen,
let me take something.
Speaker 4 (54:58):
Let me take something. All right, letna get real close
to this microphone.
Speaker 5 (55:03):
Game. Game game.
Speaker 3 (55:06):
If you respond to that level of game, then you
deserve to be single for the rest of your life.
Number one, because because that this guy right here, he cappin.
That's what the young folks called cappen. Is that what
it is, James, that's cap Yeah, that's cap right, you
know what that means. That's bull pockey, that's what that is.
(55:29):
That's what it says. That's bull. He don't plan on
doing anything that that guy that you with plans. In fact,
he plans on doing less. But he knows that if
he knows that women are women are attracted to what
they hear, just like guys are attracted to what they see.
That's why we give lines and women, uh go on diets.
(55:49):
So what you have to recognize is what this guy
right here just said is that I don't respect your relationship.
You could be happy in your relationship. Don't say that
she was sitting there struggling her relationship. It says this
guy could care less about her relationship. So you think
he gonna he can care less about your relationship, but
he cared about you. Come on, now, use a little
(56:11):
common sense.
Speaker 6 (56:12):
Uh, I agree to an extent, But listen. What he
did though, was lit'st see. What he did though, was
he did just throw shade. Because here's the thing. When
you make a statement like that, and let's just say
that she was one of the women in some of
these memes that been with you for nine years or
been with you for a certain period of time, and
(56:33):
you still ain't popped the question. What he did was
just told you you went a dude who just wants
to keep dragging you and using you. But hey, I'm
trying to find a wife. I'm trying to be somebody's husband.
So listen, if you.
Speaker 5 (56:46):
Got the you get the right one on the right day,
at the right time, you just might get a reply.
Speaker 4 (56:52):
Well, put some money aside for.
Speaker 3 (56:55):
A lawyer for the to get child support, because this
dude that is all at you right now is about
to try and run through you real quick. Maybe maybe
shoot the club up and get you pregnant and then
bounce out because he Any guy that doesn't any guy
that doesn't respect the relationship that you went, don't respect you.
So you could tell if you if you already over
(57:19):
there smiling, it's not like you're sitting there broken hearted
than crying and stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
What do he know about you?
Speaker 3 (57:25):
Within within the first interaction of meeting you, that let
him know that your wife materia nothing.
Speaker 4 (57:32):
So what does that tell you?
Speaker 3 (57:33):
He say that to every female, So you think you
can think you the golden ticket if you want to
you not. You probably trash. That's why you're talking to
him in the first place.
Speaker 6 (57:42):
Oh God, on that note, Uh, we're down to the
last probably minute and a half of the show now,
So this is a fun show.
Speaker 5 (57:50):
We're not the matter of fact.
Speaker 6 (57:51):
Maybe we should make this a segment where we just
take like three minutes and talk about maybe two I
think that'd be that'll be cool. So, uh, you've been
tuned into Pillow Talk with your girl, Lady Jane, and
this is a show to know and to grow love
and relationships. Y'all catch us here, Well, not next Sunday
because we'll be celebrating our anniversary, so we won't be
(58:14):
on air next week, but the week after you can
catch us. So thank y'all for tuning in, and you
can catch it on like I said, all the major
podcast platforms. If you missed it live tonight, love y'all,
Duces We out
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!