Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The songs because the songs because of you.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The for the songs because of you.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
You you.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, welcome to another episode of Relationship
Ology with your girl Lady Jay and we're right here
on j q l L Radio, division of Ego Entertainment Network.
And y'all know what it is so real quick though,
(00:53):
before we get into the show, of course, we must
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(02:20):
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how to tune in, it is time to dive into
(02:41):
this topic for tonight. So we were talking listen, we
always have so many topics that we want to talk about,
but I think that tonight's topic is very much needed.
So I'm gonna let can you introduce the topic for
tonight and we're going to go ahead and tackle this
(03:03):
thing as usual.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
M all right, So earlier and the topic is we're
going to be talking about, you know, the difference, you
know what you can talk about, you know to your
friends about what's going on in your house you can
and what you can't say that you shouldn't you shouldn't
talk about, and how much of it you should also
(03:29):
you know, put out there to your fans, especially when
you're talking about your mate. Hmmm.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
So this is a This is an interesting topic because
I think that a lot of us disclose a lot
of information into our family and friends about our significant other,
and we don't especially when it's something negative, and we
don't consider the repercussions that come after from our family
towards our mate, and if we decide to work it
(03:56):
out with them, that could become a very tumultuous situation.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Anything. Absolutely, So I was I was thinking about this
topic because I often think about how people's emotions dictate
how they knew, and I was sitting here thinking about that,
and I was like, you know, I even have to
(04:22):
kind of check my thump before and not allow my
emotion based on I feel it was told to me
by someone didn't take how I look at the or
interact with that person lympic at others. And the reason
why is because if they are still involved with that person,
(04:45):
they still moving or rocking with this person. Why should
not have any ill feeling swordsm at all?
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Right, I think that, and I think that's true too.
So here's my thing I'm really big on and females
learning how to keep their mouth shut when it comes
to say that. I can't really speak on males, even
though I know males do talk amongst themselves, because I've
actually seen it.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
And witnessed it.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
And you know, any female that thinks that that males
don't talk to their friends, I'll say, immature males don't
talk to their friends about certain intimate details that goes
on with him and his women, you are sadly mistaken.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Okay, but I will.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Say that women, I'll say women when I'm talking about
I'm not saying all I'll say, but a large number
of women we don't know how to be quiet when
it comes to the things that lead to the betrayal,
you know what I'm saying, of your relationship or your partner.
So we don't realize that men have a hard time
(05:49):
already being.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Vulnerable with us.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Right, and so if he's having some issues in the bedroom,
for instance, I don't care if it is erectile dysfunction.
If it is, you know, maybe he's not fulfilling you
or satisfying you or whatever. That's a conversation that needs
to happen between you two. Only you don't go back
and tell you know, your friends or your mutual friends
(06:13):
or whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
You don't do that. You'll figure out how to work
that out. Now.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I've had that situation within my own relationships. But guess what,
nobody ever knew because it's not for other people, you know,
and it can be also, you know, sharing details of
what you're doing in the bedroom with your spouse of
significant other, that's a big no no. Certain things are
(06:36):
just for you too, and things that you talk about
during pillow talk, that's your intimate time alone. You know
what I'm saying. After the fact, you are literally in
the most vulnerable state that you can be in. Right
then both of you all are spilling your you know,
your emotions, your deepest desires and things that sort. Those
are not conversations that should ever leave that room. And
where women go wrong is they use those things in disagreements,
(07:02):
our arguments and things of that sort. Bring that stuff
up when it comes to their men. Also, you know
what I'm saying, or it gets back to them because
if y'all are friends with let's say, people who are
mutual friends with you all, and you go tell your
girl and her dude goes back and tell YO nude
that you said such such. You can't say that you
(07:23):
didn't say it because he was the only person that
he told you.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Know.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
So, I think that we have to be more mindful
about how we about how we go about telling those things.
I think that the only time a woman should ever
disclose any personal or confidential or sacred information between her
and her man would be if you are getting some
(07:49):
type of advice. So let's say, if I went to
one of my spiritual moms or somebody I deem as
a mother or a very close friend that I know
I can trust, a real confidante that has where nothing
has ever gotten back to me where I know they
have never told anybody anything. You gotta be real careful
about who you tell. If I'm getting advice of them, Okay,
how do I go about doing this, or how do
(08:10):
I address that, or how can we work on this?
That's the only time that should ever happen. I don't
know what what's your take?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I told you, I actually I think it's healthy. The
funny is I'm gonna say this and I don't. I'm
gonna have to. I'm gonna have to use a chance words.
I'm gonna say this because it apply men, I mean
need your present. I'm men to be the biggest viction
(08:40):
when it comes to disclosing information about their non interest
or textual partner.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So ladies, you really do have to be mindful of
who it is that you lay down with. Now, now
that I got that out there, so I think this,
This is my opinion.
Speaker 6 (09:05):
I think you mention men did a big good job
at I'm patting things doing each other, my queen, you
have we have certain views, right.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
We don't name names.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
H that's good, that's good right there.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
We yeah, well, this is stuffing that we've been doing
to tie. We don't name names unless it's so much
that you really hold dear to you even know why.
It's because if it's somebody I'll hold dear to me,
I'm going to let everybody notice so they can be like, Okay,
(09:43):
that's puts it off, wins m all right, right, all selling.
We don't get into we don't get into interesship details,
so there won't be to me, you know, stone details
of what it is that we're talking about it if
we're talking about intimacy, right, you know, something that won't happen,
(10:07):
another thing that we out doing well one hundred percent
off minutes. When it comes to pey thing that we love.
But if I've ever said I love that person, then
that's just one of those things that we ain't having
that conversation, you know, talking about you know, talking about moments.
If the person that that person that I fail I love,
(10:29):
I then speak on it when you talk about that.
Now when it comes to just you know, relationships or
just you know, common everyday thing that we're going through,
you know, or challenges, you know, we can have no conversations. Again,
I won't still say seven seventy five percent of the time,
(10:49):
we don't name rock. You just don't name doctor. The
biggest reason why you don't name drop is because I
don't want to have somebody have to be a feelings
to somebody else. Right, I don't want to tell one
of my really good friends today. I don't want to
tell her about an estient I've had with the young lady,
(11:11):
you know. And then let's say me and that young
lady work through the incident. And here it is, I'm
having to touch out as we're doing you know, concerts
and the park and stuff, and you know, I'm inviting
all my people to come hang out and do these
things to you know, like you know, boating, RV days
and stuff like that. And she got to be a
(11:32):
real on that person. And now because she's harveling these
feelings due to what I've told her negatively, that might
translate and my finifica other might start feeling some type
of way about Yo. I feel like I'm getting the
cold shoulder from your friends.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Right And that's a dead giveaway. That's a dead giveaway
right there. So I think that when it comes to
when it comes to why we have a problem with
keeping those things to ourselves or keeping it confidential between
the two, why do you think that we have such
(12:11):
a hard time being quiet about those things? So when
your spouse is telling you something or or something that's
confidential or something that should only remain between you two,
why do you think it's so hard for us to
be quiet and keep it between us.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I believe in most cases for women, like I said,
I'm not a woman, so I don't know for sure,
it's just my holy And when I get out of
conversations with women, you all are way more social than
vr as men, right, and you also like to compare
and measure amongst yourselves as well. And so the people
(12:52):
who expruss the most, you're speaking instruction. You're speaking, you know, answers,
just seeking health mhm, you know, and that's what your speak. Unfortunately,
you still got to remember that person is a human being, right.
Sometimes their emotion then you goes a longer way than
(13:15):
what you think.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I think for men men sure these things because we're
not as as oh, so we're looking for answers. And
I think for any fellows a drifts it. You have
to be mindful of you speak, you to you about
these things, because you've got to understand if somebody then
(13:39):
ape or if somebody there just to give you their.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
Opinion yep, or to speculate, might.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Not let's still be their chinion, might not let's reilly
be helped. Their Christians just might just be their king.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
That's right, or they might just be speculating.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Because let's be honest, a lot of us are friends
with people who pretend to be our friends, and they
are looking for a way to you know what I'm saying,
to now play our relationship, are your our relationships or
sabotage or whatever. And nine times out of ten, with
the culture that we see nowadays when it comes to women,
some of them women are looking for opportunity to get
what you do. That's why a lot of them are
(14:19):
so hell being gonna try to get you to walk away.
The only time I'm gonna give somebody that advice is
if they are being abused. You know what I'm saying consistently, Yes,
you need to leave. You need to walk away because
you don't deserve that, you know, or if somebody is
a repeat offender when it comes to cheating, you don't
have to put up with that and they're playing Russian
Roulette with your life, you know what I'm saying. So
(14:41):
that that is the only time that I would ever suggest,
suggest that or give that advice. But when you think
about it, a lot of people will be ready to
run or a girl, you need to leave him because
he ain't got this, he ain't doing that, couldn't be
my man, or whatever case it be, Like, why you
always got some negative to say?
Speaker 5 (14:57):
You know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying, like,
what is that about?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Wait, So wait before we get into the next phase,
because we want to talk about let's talk about when
it comes to men, what would make a man betray
his woman's trust when it comes to something that she
told him in confidence or you know, during pillow talk
or whatever, things that should stay sacred between them two,
or where does he go when he's having an issue
(15:26):
in the bedroom.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
Let's talk about that when we come back from break.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
So y'all sticking, y'all, stick of state, don't go nowhere,
don't touch that down.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
We'd be right back.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
You're tuned into relationship ology right here on JQLM Radio,
division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Yes, and we are back, y'all.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
You are tuned into relationship ology right here on jq
LM Radio, a division of Ego Entertainment Network. And me
and my co hosts Keith Omar have been talking about
whoa keeping secrets between you know, you and your significant others.
So we've been talking about why it's so hard for
(16:10):
you know, men and women to keep what's supposed to
be confidential and sacred between you two between you two
all right, and when should you share any confidential you know,
information or intimate details. So before the break, for those
of you who are just tuning in, we talked about,
you know, the only time that we should be sharing
(16:31):
that information is if you literally need advice. So if
you are having an issue per se in the rest
in the bedroom, I say, I about to stay restaurant.
If you're having an issue in the bedroom, who do
you go to? Like you if you need help? You know,
you want to spice up you. You know, you need to
go to somebody if you haven't issues in your relationship.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
You know.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
We talked about what a confidant really looks like and
things of that sort. So before the break, Keith, I
asked you as a male me and you walk and
chime in. I know that for those of you who
are our long time JQL on radio listeners, we usually
have you know, opportunity to figure out to call in.
We would start taking callers on JQL on radio as
of next week, y'all okay, so just bear with us,
(17:10):
but tonight, have a comment or question text us three
one seven eight eight six zero two ninety six. You
can always text three one seven eight eight six zero
two nine six even if you don't want to call
in next week, all right, or you can leave a
message right on JQL on radio or the relationship ology
pages both on Facebook. All right, So real quick, Keith,
(17:32):
before the break, I asked you when or what would
make a man betray his woman's trust because we know
that women do it. Okay, we know women go and
they rent, they mouths about, you know, their man having
an issue or something that he told them a confidence.
Women weaponize, you know, that level of vulnerability when it
(17:53):
comes to men and things of that sort. So I'm
not saying all but a lot a lot of them.
So what would make a man but tray his woman's trust?
Will make him go and share something that's confidential or
go tell his boys, or if she's having an issue
in the bare room, maybe she ain't that great, or
it could be you know, I don't know, it could
be something an issue. Y'all have it in your relationship.
(18:19):
Oh wait, wait, wait before you ansid that, before you
answer that, I forgot. So we had a comment by
sweaty hands. Hey, what's up, sweaty heads. Make sure y'all
go check about this Sunday. All right, tell y'all more
about that on the next break. But sometimes you think
people are stopping you from getting to the top, and
forget it's your mouth.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
That's good.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Yeah, all right, go ahead, go ahead with your comment.
Let me yeah, your response to my question?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
All right. I think there can reasons why. One could
be he makes her feel insignificant, she.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Makes him feel insignificant. Is that what you said?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah? Shoot, Smith Morman is making him there if significant,
she's making her feel like you don't matter that much
to shoot up. That could be a problem, and he's
seeking some kind of validation from other people, or or
it's just I want to be heard. I want to
you know, out there, and somebody could be a real listener,
(19:21):
and a lot of times it's somebody who's trying to
get in right, you know. Uh so, ladies, I was
supposed to you to watch out for that. Another thing
it could be that I got said. Most times, if
we didn't having conversations, we look at for answers, you know,
(19:42):
we're we're looking to fix for issues. Men don't typically
open up unless there's a problem, and that there's a
problem that he can't figure out on his own. He's
lifted for answers. So if we're going to ask people
that we feel like that's experienced enough and stand or
trust worthy enough to have those conversations with m just
(20:04):
could be men don't have a judge zone, so we
don't really judge each other that, you know, men that
we have conversations, they don't typically judge each other. We will,
you know, have a no judge zone. Like it's just
kind of like you know, be hearing you out. You're
gonna try to help you bestly be possibly can. We're
(20:26):
gonna give you the advice that we can give you.
We're gonna give you our opinion and our thoughts on it,
and after that it is what it is you to
gonna take it. And usually you're not go way together.
We could kill that, you know what I'm saying, We
just won't you have enough options and enough insight to
(20:47):
make an educated decision on how you're gonna move forward,
right all right? And then is another one desporation. Men
can have conversations like that. He can offer just flakings
because now we are you're desperate, because you feel like
we might be at the end of some are you know,
(21:07):
I'm on my last leg with this woman or.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Got you?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Gotcha? I feel like you know what I'm saying, Like
you're you're flustery, You're just you're trying your best to
hold something together that you that you value, you know,
and those your team needs us. Why men, you know
we'll have conversations with other people.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
So let me ask this then, and fellas y'all can
time in and and all months long. I know this
this weekend and we're on second and fourth Thursday. In
the show before us girls talk real talk. She's featuring
men all months. So I'm getting we're getting men's opinions
on everything. Okay, this one, So I want to know.
(21:53):
So we're talking about what should and shouldn't be spoken
about amongst friends, all right, when it comes to your
significant other. So we know that women typically will discuss
things more than men, right, so tell me. And we
know that women have a hard time being held accountable.
So let's say that we are going to our friends
about an issue that we may have a lot of times,
(22:14):
what I see is women will turn it around on
the men they you know, if the issue is both
of them, or the woman is completely in the wrong,
her girl will back her up.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
Anyway, you know what I'm saying, and give very bad advice.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
So when you are I say, when men typically will
go to their boys or whatever about an issue that
they are having in their relationship, do the men ll
y'all fell us typically will they hold you accountable and
check you if you're wrong? And or will they give
you a let's say, a resolution or a solution to
(22:58):
the issue or or where you have to be the
bigger person to at least kick off the conversation or
line of communication with your girl.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
How does that usually work?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Okay? I think it based off your character and the
characters that you survive yourself with. When it comes to me,
I say this because I've seen it both way. When
in chaske Well, I have steamed men, you know, as
as your boys a dog. He's gonna give you dog
(23:30):
vis our steam. Then follow that seek it dog advice.
But also you know my experience, you know the crew,
the six of us, now we hold each other accountable,
we check each other. We've been doing this since we
were you know, fteen, sixteen years old, and here we
(23:54):
are at our big age, you know, late forty and fifty, right,
you know, and so you know we been doing this
for over thirty five, right, so if nobody checked me,
there's five gentlemen as a kids. Right, he's in Aaron,
then Damon and the Marcus. They you check me anytime
(24:19):
they can towl me just five al right, hold on
that j you know you're getting beside check field to that.
You know what I'm saying. I get it. You know
your little record, you out here having fun, but now
it's how the real it is. You out You're doing
a little too much now, right, Like you know they're
they're checking. Yeah, I even have to. I think you
(24:39):
all have checked each other before. Hey Na, Na flowing
down now, hold on, pump the brakes now, you know
you're rolling him too fast? No, right, you know it's
cools when he's doing eighty five dollars an hour. Now
you're going one kid, need to throw it down a
little bit, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, we
check each other like that's not a issue. And I
(25:01):
think most I only say most. I think there's a
lot of men who understand what I'm talking about. The
expected there's a chuck respected living that men have amongst
each other, and he has to and it based off
of a defendente and an intellectual medium at the same time.
(25:24):
For example, you know, I think then they get a
little more skicked while men because they understand men have
a certain not or restraint when he comes to winning
that's certainly not a patient when they come to winning
that we would typically have with another yain.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Right now, now, wait a minute, I will say that
women nowadays, especially now, all you hear is I'm grown.
You can't tell me what to do my job business? Right,
all of those, all of those things coming from women.
And I'm speaking to what I hear a lot because
I'm a woman, you know what I'm saying. And this
is typically why I don't engage with a lot of
different women in close relationship or with consistent or constant communication.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Right.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
I only, and I mean if this offends anybody, then
so be it. I really don't mean this in a
malicious way. But I only enter into a certain level
of relationship, a certain level of communication with a certain
caliber of women, period.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Right.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
And to be honest, a lot of women out here
are not on my level mentally or emotionally or spiritually.
Because see, I've dealt with all of my demons, you know,
and I don't have that underlying thing where you can't
tell me nothing, you know what I'm saying. I'll be
the first to say I got two women in my
life that are constantly okay on my head like they
(26:48):
are my mama's and that's Kim and Michelle. They get
on my nerves, but I love them dearly and I
know they love me. And I have other women in
my village and in my circle where I you know,
Demetria Ashley and Stay when I.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
Am in the wrong, even in my relationships.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
They have checked me before in my relationships all right,
with my behavior and whether I'm staying where, whether I
need to go or whether I need to quit blaming him,
or whatever the case may be. They have checked me consistently,
and even though it may make me feel some type
of way sometimes or I may not like what they say,
They've been right, you know, and the people who loved
(27:26):
you will not have you out here crazy now.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
You can you can choose to listen or not, but
they they do it out of love.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
And sometimes they don't talk to me sweet you know
what I'm saying, or with a cheery on top. Sometimes
they be like girl, when you're gonna stop doing blah
blah blah blah blah blah like and I'm looking like
Grid talking. But sometimes we need that, you know what
I'm saying. Sometimes we need that, especially when you find
yourself in a cycle, in a in a toxic cycle,
(27:57):
you know, in a hurtful cycle, or in a painful cycle.
And women have this notion now that they are above reproach,
and it really irritates my soul. However, I am one
of those women where I'm gonna tell you anyway, you
can have an attitude with me, you can take it
how you want to, you can want to fight me.
I have yet to have a woman swing on me,
even though she been in all her attitude and all
that yapping. You know what I'm saying, Because at the
(28:19):
end of the day, it's supposed to make you feel
some type of way. It's called conviction. You ought to
feel convicted because that brings about change, or you at
least thinking about changing or modifying your behavior or dealing
with your issues or whatever the case may be. So
I think that because women have that mindset with each other,
they feel like they can have it with men even
more so, like you said, because men most men, or
(28:44):
I'll say I ain't gonna say most men. I'm gonna
say a lot of men, especially gentlemen and mature men,
will not respond in a way that an immature man
or a man that's not a gentleman would, Because you
have men I hear that will slap you or put
they hands on you because they don't like what.
Speaker 5 (29:01):
You said or how you said it.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Period talking about.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
That, because I've noticed that trend soon of women being more.
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Aggressive, and Kevin said, he'll check you. Yeah, talking about
what they're free know.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Ye. Now, look, anybody to anybody you know me, they
know I call BS on my still first.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Everybody know that. I'm I'm gonna check my still. I
don't have to get chicked too many times on nobody else, right,
I can check myself first. I call BS on me
before you know anybody else will. So, I mean, heck,
it is what it is. But I think you know,
the dynamics of women being more aggressive and more dismissive
(30:02):
is a tell chill sign of I hate to say this, yeah,
I'll really do, but it's the truth of it. It's
a chill, chill sign of being being independent mm hmmm,
not knowing how to cooperate and be in partnership and
(30:23):
be a steammates mm hmm. They were raising individuals. They
were raised to do things shifting for themselves. It was
raised not to allow either when to come in and
lead them or guide them or a strunk gives them
structure or nothing. You live on your own terms, right,
And that's and they've been doing that for so long
(30:46):
that they feel like if it ain't their way, it
ain't gonna be right.
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Right, absolutely, I think that.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Well.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
First, Sweaty had Sweaty made a comment that said, I
don't share bedroom information. It's only two people I trust,
and I'm both of them. So hold on, hold on, wait,
we gotta go to break a real quick our last break,
but real quick. Why based on that comment alone when
(31:18):
it comes to men, my question to Sweaty and any
other man out there, all right, you could text three
one seven aa six zero two nine six or leave
a comment on the Relationship Ology Facebook page. All right,
listen my question in regards to that, because it kind
of it made me laugh because you know, back in
the day, it's just like men don't even like asking
(31:41):
for directions you know when you when you get you know,
you know you lost, you drove about the same tree
three times, but you won't stop and ask for directions
like I think that. So what do you do when
let's say you having a you're you're having an issue
in the bedroom. Let's say if it's you personally, maybe
you experience that your break out dysfunction and viagra or
(32:03):
Cialley's or something that's not working. It could be a
different issue. It could be that you may have I
don't know, some type of condition, or you know what
I'm saying, you're testosteronis or whatever the case be. Then
if you don't open up your mouth and share that
information and ask somebody, how are you gonna get the answer?
You know what I'm saying, So me and I want
you to think about that. Or if your woman, maybe
(32:25):
maybe you have an issue with your women, because I
know men who have been married there and some of
them are divorced. Now Kevin is responding to so I'm
gonna mention all this when we come back. But if
it's your woman having an issue in the bedroom, if
you're some men are too. They don't want to hurt
her feelings, so they won't say anything, right yep, And
(32:49):
so how who do you go to the n to
address that issue? So think about it, y'all, give me
some answers.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
Don't go anywhere. We're gonna be right back.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
You are tuned in to relatelationship Ology right here on
JQL Radio, a division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
We are back.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
You are tuned in to Relationship Ology with a Girl
Lady Jay and Keith Omar right here on jq l
M Radio, a division of Ego Entertainment Network.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Out and the conversation has gotten good, and it's always
good period.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
So Sweaty wants to be a guest, We're gonna make
him a guest on one of the next episode. We're
always open to guests anyway joining us. But so I
asked the question. I posed a question before break. I'm
gonna read Kevin's response first. Sweaty says he has a
answer as well. So I'm checking social media too for
(33:47):
any fellas that may have any more answers. Hopefully I
can get through any any Hopefully I get.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
Through all of them.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
But so I asked the question before a break because
Sweaty made a comment or those of you who are
just tuning in. And he said that he doesn't share
bedroom information with nobody. He only trusts two people and
that's himself. Both of them are himself. So I asked, well,
when you're having an issue as a male in the bedroom,
(34:17):
if you're having some type of performance issues, or maybe
you're not even a satisfy her or whatever the case
may be, and viagracialis or something isn't working, where do
you go then to get the help? You got to
tell somebody, you got to figure out how to help her,
because let's be honest, nowadays, some women, if you're in
a relationship now, if you have been in a long
(34:39):
term relationship, I guess that may not matter all the time,
or being married for pric some time.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
Sometimes women will get tired and then they started looking elsewhere.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
You know what I'm saying, Or if your woman is
having an issue in the bedroom, and a lot of
men don't like to hurt women's feelings, you know, just
like with shakes, Just like when she says, oh, baby,
do I look bad in this?
Speaker 5 (34:57):
And then you're talking about, no, baby, you don't look
batter You'll.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Look at it a good dag. Oh well, women just
because they're making your size. Don't put it on you
know what I'm saying. But but but if you're afraid
to go to her about it, you're gonna need to
go to somebody to figure out how to approach it.
Speaker 5 (35:15):
So what do y'all do?
Speaker 4 (35:17):
So I'm gonna read Kevin's Kevin's response, he says, a
lot of women don't really understand what real independence is.
I think that was a response to you earlier, Keith.
And he says, size issues big or small, not my issue.
So Sweaty is responding. He says, if he's having a
(35:38):
problem in the bedroom, let's see if I'm having a
problem in the bedroom, I will get the problem. It's
like having a flat tire. I have a flat one time,
I'm getting triple a no more flat tire.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
Just like a man spoke, Just like a man.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Listen, that is a man like I ain't never heard
the man's fun, ain't it?
Speaker 5 (36:06):
So what do you say, Keith?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
What?
Speaker 5 (36:07):
Then?
Speaker 2 (36:08):
What do you do? Like what? I'm kind of money
on there? So I'm gonna live in here different though,
because I am I am more opened to solving a problem.
Speaker 7 (36:21):
Then you know a lot of men I don't allow
evil to get in the way of things, because at
the end of the day, I want an issue resolved
right right, and that's all that matters is resolve of
that issue.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
So I'm going to exhaust, do you know, avenues. The
first thing I do is what I do that a
lot of men are starting to do now, is I
see potessional help. I would go to my doctor. You
know what I'm saying. I would exhust you know what
(36:57):
is out there for me?
Speaker 5 (36:58):
Say that again, the man, don't go to the doctor
for a checkup. Say that one again.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Hey he's fix. I do a fixed more checkup.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Physical I mean, I feel like you got to start
doing that. Really you should start doing that at thirty five.
I started around forty, but you really should be doing
that at about thirty five. But no, no, but you know, listen,
I understand then, you know, we it showcased things to
(37:29):
trying to, you know, take care of what's on our plate.
That physical health is not one of them. He just
you know, we've been conditioned to push through, to push
them under a thing, right, push and pushing, you know
I'm saying. So, So I allowed me and glades, and
I tell them Hey, thirty five, that's seen your body
(37:50):
start to training. That's when you're gonna start have the
physical issues, especially if you've been an athlete as long
as I've been an athlete. I have been and to
pass from the age of six to the age of
thirty other shoulders helmet every sumthing, every fall, that's a
long time. The whole lot of content.
Speaker 5 (38:11):
Yeah, that's around.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
That's what I thought stilling it.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
Uh huh.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Now I believe yeah, Now, I believe that men should
be taking care of themselves physically. Sold For instance, your mother,
so most people's parents, you know, they take them to
their annual checkups with the doctor and stuff like that.
What I did as a mother I made both of
my only have two. I have four children. Two of
(38:37):
them are past the age of eighteen. But when they
turned eighteen, I taught them how to go into the
doctor or call the doctor. After I made sure that
they had a doctor or have a doctor as an adult.
Now you know, primary care doctor, how to call in
and make your appointment. My oldest child, she still wants
me to go and do it for no, ma'am, I
need you to do it. And hey, have you made
your appointment? Are you going to a doctor on my
(38:58):
son's head? Now too, I keep telling him, hey, son,
you need to go to the doctor. You need to
get your check up, like even even from the age
of eighteen up, that should be an ongoing thing, you know.
Speaker 5 (39:09):
But also, Sweaty says Part two.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
If she's having a problem, meaning his significant other, his wife,
because he's married in the bedroom, he will go to
someone that's like close to her, that's a female, so
he can get better answers to help with the situation.
Speaker 5 (39:25):
Now, got that, But here's the thing out, here's the
problem I have with that.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
So what he just suggested was absolutely a great, you know,
a great solution to his problem.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Right.
Speaker 5 (39:38):
However, ain't it funny how y'all will go.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
And get information to help with her, but you won't
go to nobody about your situation. You just gonna figure
it out on your own.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Now, what is real is like a million talk, Like
I said, a million talk amongst ourselves. We're going to
talk to our men, trusted people. They have these conversation because,
like I said, for the most part, men your friends,
we should say subjacktive stuff to each other. Like I mean,
(40:08):
I know you've heard it like we will dog each
other out, but when it comes to something simptative a
bedroom thing, men are more inclined to listen and really
be more compassionate and understanding, you know, with the literature
each other, because he understands how touch of a subject
(40:29):
that is. Right now, say so, like especially if you're
dealing with eed or something, you know, something to that
magnitude like color for what it is, that's that's a
direct hit to your to your ego, your confidence, your manhood.
You know what I'm saying. So men, don't you know
(40:51):
you're not going to have too many jokes about that
at all, you know what I'm saying, because you understand
a magnitude that you know and how the severity of it,
So you're not talking those of us heels. Ay yo,
you know man, I don't get a feeling direction like
I used to. I'm like at seventy percent, I'm over
(41:14):
your here, swet. I'm trying to figure out what's going off.
Oh player, I went to the doctor the last month,
you know what I'm saying, for my six month check coup,
and I had the conversation with my doctor. My doctor
told me, YadA, YadA, YadA. You know these exerciety as
you can do like he leading and start helping each other.
You know what I'm saying, right, because he's gonna say
the severity of that, So men, keep help. It's just
(41:36):
not as wide as a wonder would when you all
seek out help. You all are turning over every stall,
y'all researching, y'all you know where that I typically date
all of that, man, And I honestly think it's a
the only thing what I'm looking for. I honestly think
if it's how it's marketed and directed to us as well?
(41:59):
Right that say that because you don't have a whole
lot of afternutes to go through, you know what's then there?
You all have so many different rechoices and programs and
and you know systems is placed for you are the
fine things.
Speaker 5 (42:18):
Right And I agree with that.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
I agree with that, And that's why I'm so hell
bent on creating those spaces like we talked about, Like
I've talked about a reup. Now, Sweaty says it's he
answered that way, he said, because men have easier solutions
like pop up pill, pro pop appeal and then the
problem is solved. But women are more complicated, not a
pill situation. Kevin says, big or big or small, not
(42:42):
my issue. Men are prone to fix the issue asprind
taler Coftler definitely not doing that. That opens up a
whole new can of worms. And then he posed the
question what happens if that female friend says, this is
her opportunity to push up on him. So here's what
I here's what I have to say to that. Now,
now what I will say, even though it's very rare,
(43:02):
there are instances I've had. I used to counsel a
man who was having issues with his wife. Well he
was the one in the wrong, so they were having
marital issues. He was the one in the wrong with
his behavior and things of that sort. But there was
also a bedroom issue and pills were not working, So
(43:23):
that means there's some type of medical issue there. So
at that point you would need to go seek professional help,
you know, or for men who don't like really it
doesn't matter if you don't like going to doctor or
not go to the doctor. But let's just say you
have those who are really like those who call themselves
like super woke, like it's cool to be woke, you know,
(43:44):
we all woke, those of us you know, in our
circle whatever, but who only want to do like let's say,
natural remedies and things of that sort. You're gonna have
to talk to somebody and tell them what your issue
is so that person can better help you.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
You know. Now, in regardless you they know what the
kids and glind up and up and blend up.
Speaker 5 (44:04):
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
Now to Kevin's question, when he talks about what, what
if the female friend says, this is her opportunity to
push up on him. So this is where the knowing
what true confidence are you know, coming into play. This
is what we were talking about earlier. You just like
women can see when female friends aren't really your female
(44:26):
friends because we can tell when. Now I'm not talking
about if you're with a woman who has trust issues,
she don't count okay because she she can't see past
her own insecurities.
Speaker 5 (44:36):
But I'm talking about a woman who is secure.
Speaker 4 (44:38):
She don't have no issues with you hanging out with
females or I won't say hanging out like that, but
you know, having female friends and stuff like that, you know,
doing businessweet females and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Actually, because we can go on that. That's the kind.
That's another topic.
Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, yeah, that's another topic.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
But but we can go on that a little bit.
Speaker 5 (45:01):
Hold on, wait, but we can see.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
When women are not about the right, just like men
can see when men are not about the right. And
if we can see when that woman is not right,
then women need to trust that. I mean, fellas need
to pay attention to to the company that your woman keeps,
right because just like women pay attention to the company
(45:24):
that her man keeps. If you hang with a dude,
if my if my spouse so significant, others hang on
a dude that's selling drugs, and like I.
Speaker 5 (45:31):
Said, why are you hanging with him? Are you trying
to get yourself caught up? You know what I'm saying,
Like exactly, So it's the same thing with men.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
Pay attention to the type of women that you that
your woman hangs with. Now, granted, some are very good
at masking who they are and what they're what their
you know, intentions are. Because I've been friends with people
for years before I learned that she's jealous of me,
you know what I'm saying. So I'm not saying that
that doesn't happen, and because it does, However, at that time.
(46:03):
What you need to do as a fellow, as a man,
as a fellow, what everyone call yourself is you need
to check that friend and let her know ain't nothing
going on. You need to then immediately go and tell
your woman, because see where y'all go wrong is y'all
will keep it a secret and not say nothing to
think that y'all can handle it y'allselves, and then before
you know it, the friend has gone and started a
(46:26):
whole narrative.
Speaker 5 (46:27):
In controlling the narrative, that's completely Alie.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yep, I understand. So it just kind of touching on
the whole friend thing. I'm an compose, I'm a very
I'm very twelve friends of friends, regardless you get the sexy.
In fact, I'm at a point where if I know
a woman, I find an alarming that if a woman
(46:55):
of a certain age over the age of thirty five,
and she don't have one or two at last one
or two male friends, that.
Speaker 1 (47:04):
The inspiration for the songs because of you, The inspiration
for the songs because of you, the inspiration for.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
The songs because of you. You it's for you. Can
you sing it with me?
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Bag