Episode Transcript
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Tara (00:01):
This is the EWN podcast
network.
Hi. I'm Tara from plus
fitness with Tara. I'm a curvy,
fun body positive coach andpersonal trainer. I love
business and fitness. Do youhave the tools you need to be a
rock star in fitness?
A healthy love of yourself andhelp from me in sifting through
health news will do that. I'vegot fitness topics and guests.
(00:21):
Rock stars aren't born. They'rebred in experience and fire.
Let's do this together.
Nicole Kirby (00:27):
Hi there, and
welcome to to plus fitness with
Tara, the podcast. Today, I haveguest Nicole Kirby on. She is a
coach, and we met through eWomenNetwork. But the crazy thing is
she's Canadian and I'm Canadian,and an American networking based
company brought us together,which is amazing. So, Nicole,
thanks so much for coming on,and why don't you tell us about
(00:47):
yourself and your business?
Tara (00:49):
Well, first off, thank you
so much. I was so excited to be
on a podcast. And, yes, we couldnot be farther apart in Canada.
Coast to coast, I love it. Andmeeting through eWomen is
amazing.
And so, yeah, I do successmindset coaching, but my
background and what brought meto that is, my formal education
is in psychology. I've alwaysbeen fascinated with,
(01:14):
understanding what motivatespeople and and specifically the
success blocks that weexperience as we're in a
business and as we grow and aswe start that business and all
the ups and downs that weexperience. And I just you know,
I had self employed parents. Ijust was always around business.
(01:36):
So
Nicole Kirby (01:37):
at
Tara (01:37):
a very young age, I
understood the ups and downs and
the full reality of being selfemployed and having a business,
and that just eventually drew meinto the world of
entrepreneurship.
Nicole Kirby (01:50):
Great. And how
long have you been working as a
coach now, like, officially?
Tara (01:54):
You know, it's really
interesting when I get asked
that question because I finishedmy degree. I won't say the year,
but I'll say how old I was.
Nicole Kirby (02:01):
I think
Tara (02:02):
I was 22. And I was
already working, and I spent the
first ten years of my career,working with people who were in
career transition. Many of themforced career transition. It was
a time when there was just a lotof downsizing. And so I
literally worked with thousandsof people in that ten years, and
(02:23):
and, again, people who were midanywhere from youth to midlife,
but were in some level oftransition.
And so it's funny because forthose ten years, I was literally
coaching every day, but theydidn't call it coaching. So when
did I become an actual officialICF, international coach
federation coach? I think it wasat the end of twenty seventeen.
(02:44):
But in some capacity in everyjob I've had, I've always ended
up teaching in some way, shape,or form. I was that kid who as
soon as school ended, two dayslater in the summer, I was
playing school.
Like, it's just I think it'sjust a part of who I am. It's
just what I love to do.
Nicole Kirby (03:05):
Yeah. And I think
from what I know about you, we
had a coaching session foreverybody listening for about
half an hour or so. I I went alittle over if I'm correct. But
what I wanna say is that was agreat thing about EWIMO network
was not only to connect us, butI got to sample a bit of
Nicole's coaching as part of hercoaching, profile on EWIMO
network. So I know just howresponsive and also emotive, but
(03:26):
but also your great listeningskills are as a coach.
So that's why I'm so excitedyou're on today because I'm sure
people can hear already. I mean,I already feel comfortable, you
know, just even how you prefacedit with, you know, you'd be
coaching since you finished yourfirst degree in some form or or
another, and 2017 was theactual, you know, ICF
certification. And that's kindof how I feel about my
(03:47):
collective coach experience.It's kind of a change format
now. The school is different.
There's new people, you know,that that run it. But what I
loved about it was it was justlike, oh, I've been doing this
with, you know, my nonprofit,which at the time was called
Nova Scotia Fit for You. I saidsince, like, you know, 02/2002,
coaching plus as individuals onhealth and wellness. But what
would happen is I would bring ina trainer or another volunteer
(04:10):
and have them do the fitnesspart, and then we would do peer
support. And it wasn't reallylike I had any training, but it
was just about listening.
They just these women and menjust wanted to be heard. You
know? And that's the mostpowerful thing you can do as a
coach is give someone a platformor, you know, an hour of your
time to just be heard aboutwhatever they wanna talk about
in a safe judgment free zone.And I'm sure you agree with
(04:31):
that, but, like, it was just itwas kinda one of those things.
When I landed into coactivecoaching, I took part in the
workshop in Alberta, the firstone.
And it was at the time that theBow River had just flooded, so
there was only four of us in theentire, like, curriculum, like,
then for that for that weekend.And it was the most intimate,
you know, powerful movingexperience in my life, but
usually they get 20 people or 30people or so. So it was, like,
(04:53):
really on board. And, you know,one of the instructors has
recently since passed and stuff,but she was amazing. But, like,
what I love about it is thatpeople get to listen, be heard,
and be valued just through thatlistening experience as a coach.
And I'm sure, you know, ifyou've been coaching over the
years, you probably agree withthe fact that listening can be
(05:15):
the most powerful tool we can dofor someone.
Tara (05:18):
Oh, absolutely. And thank
you so much for your kind words,
and I so enjoyed our timetogether. And a %, I agree with
everything you said. I rememberwhen I was doing my coach
training, and we started talkingabout active listening. And I
was like, oh, I know what activelistening is.
I've been, like, coaching foryears, and and then you get
(05:40):
trained in active listening. Andit's a whole another level, and
I know you're nodding your head.But that part of coaching school
is such an eye opener. And Iremember, you know, being
exhausted. Our our coachingclasses our coach training were
it was four hours onlinestraight.
(06:00):
And it was in the evening, whichis never I I I'm a morning girl.
Like, I'm I'm up at 04:35 everyday. I have a very regimented
morning routine. And, I rememberat times, it's it really, really
truly learning to listen topeople, to listen for patterns,
to listen for blind spots, tolisten for what they're not
(06:24):
saying, but knowing from thetone of somebody's voice, from
their body language, from, likeI say, the patterns the patterns
and the repeated things thatsomeone says. You know, you can
pick up so much.
But I really when I went tocoaching school, I was like,
okay. Well, this will just thiswill just be like, you know,
(06:46):
going you know, I was tossing,you know, should I do my
masters, or should I go tocoaching school? And I was like,
you know, it's just gonna belike undergrad. You know?
Probably write papers andwhatever.
It's so skill based, and it's sotechnical. It is so technical. I
mean, you know, when you go into do your ICF mentoring and
(07:09):
your ICF exam, it is it is sotechnical. It's such a skill,
and and the listening is, issuch a big part of it. And that
ability, exactly what you weresaying, to create a space for
someone, you know, it's I as itwas said in in when I did my
(07:31):
coach training, you know, it'sabout giving that hour or half
an hour.
It's a gift to somebody that andyour job as the coach is simply
to create and incubate a spacewith which somebody can fully
explore.
Nicole Kirby (07:46):
Yeah. A %. And,
Nicole, while we're talking,
just as a little bug in yourear, how do you want people to
reach you if they wanna findyou? Where can they go? Do they
go on social media or a website,or do you have an email you
wanna share?
So someone who's listening canget in touch with you with a
question about what yourservices are.
Tara (08:02):
Absolutely. I have a
website, just
nicolekirbycoaching.com, verycreative name. I I love
LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn. I'm ahuge LinkedIn fan.
I'm on Instagram every day. Soany of those ways are great.
They're great ways. Like I say,my two platforms that I I love
(08:25):
and I'm on is Instagram and andLinkedIn. And on Instagram, I'm
just at coach Nicole Kirby.
Nicole Kirby (08:31):
Yeah. And it's n I
c o l e for Nicole and k I r b y
for Kirby, everybody. Just incase you're asking. We gotta
remember you can actually, youknow, you can actually see the
actual podcast. So great.
Okay. So Instagram and LinkedIn,people can find you there.
Nicole Kirby and coach. And,yeah, that's fantastic. So,
yeah, I just you know, it'skinda funny.
(08:53):
So one of the things I wanted toask you about was while you're
dealing with other people'sissues and coaching blocks and,
you know, ups and downs, youknow, how are you taking care of
your own health and wellness asyou go along as a coach? Who
coaches the coach? It's myfavorite question
Tara (09:10):
to ask a coach. Yeah. I
love that question. Yeah. Like I
say, part of my morning routineis I I get up and I journal
every day.
And I journaled beforejournaling was ever cool. I I
just I love the process of ofwriting, and I always have. I
find it very cathartic, and itjust gets gets me out of my head
(09:33):
because I am a hundred percentan overthinker. And so I I get
up really early, and it's on theweekends. It's and I literally
have journals in my car.
I keep them everywhere. And so Ioftentimes, you know, working
from home, I'll go out to eat,and I'm oftentimes by myself,
and I'm always journaling. Sothat to me has just been a real
(09:57):
keystone habit. I also, and youcan probably relate to this.
When I you know, growing up, Iwas a dancer.
I I spent my entire childhood ina dance studio, and I could
never get enough of it. I I Istarted teaching by the time I
was about 14, and, I've met somany other dancers. And, you
(10:21):
know, it's it's kind of like youdon't dance, you are a dancer.
There's something about dancethat is sort of innate. I think
it's innate in all of us.
It's just some of us, take it onas a passion. And I know like,
I've just gone through a seasonwhere I've been very inactive.
I'm gonna be completelytransparent. I've spent the last
(10:43):
nine months selling my house.I'm gonna be doing two moves
kind of back to back.
I've already done one, and Ihave another one on the go. And
it was a really all encompassingthing. It was a huge downsize.
And when I feel disconnectedfrom my physicality, I don't
(11:06):
feel super aligned. And I knowit it it impacts my creativity.
It impacts my sleep. And soright now, I'm in that stage
where I'm getting back on track,and I just feel so much more
aligned and so much clearer.And, so right now, it's it's a
it's a transition back for me.Yeah.
Nicole Kirby (11:29):
Well, one of the
things that I love about,
sharing health and wellnessonline is finding like minded
coaches like myself, like BenCarpenter, SoHE Fit, Luke Cannon
Nutrition, Andrew Fung, andmore. Doctor Adrian chairman. I,
I always get his name wrong,Shovin or something. Anyway but
I if you're on my Instagram,you'll see that I share this
stuff all the time. One of thethings they constantly say is
(11:52):
that there's no workout ifthere's no rest.
And what you and I haveexperienced are different
things, but also verychallenging at the same time.
And so what can happen is, youknow, we don't get enough rest
until we need to get through thechallenging time. Therefore,
(12:14):
that's when that's when, youknow, the real workout will
happen. You know? So you're juston pause.
You're not on cancel. You knowwhat I mean? And and it's
perfectly fine to take the timethat you need to get on track in
your own way because we all leadbusy lives. We have different
things going on. To not accountfor this fact and to say, oh,
no.
You should be working out everyday. It's a very harsh way to
(12:35):
live. Do you know what I mean?So one of the things I wanna
celebrate with you is thatyou've come through this
transition stage. You're goingthrough another one.
You have another move coming up.You're gonna be fine. And
journaling is feeding your soul.That is a mental workout. So,
like, really understand thatyou're like a little pod, and
when you're ready, you'll comeout of the pod.
You know what I mean? So, yeah,I just wanna give you grace for
(12:58):
that.
Tara (12:59):
Yeah. I love that, and
thank you so much. Yes. I have
realized that I am going througha season right now where, you
know, I've moved out of myhouse. True transparency, I I've
been married for, almost twentyfive years, going through a very
amicable divorce.
(13:19):
But I'll be honest, there is notmuch of my life in the past
couple of years that's beenuntouched as far as this was one
way, and now this is anotherway. From empty nest to divorce
to moving to moving to a newcity shortly, It's been,
obviously transformational. Andthe season that I'm in right at
(13:42):
this moment that I've realizedis a season where I I'm very
quiet in some ways right now.Like, I've realized that this
time, I'm in an apartment that'sjust all my own, and this
apartment is sort of it's it'sbecome kind of this it's become
very symbolic of moving towardsmy new life. And that new life,
(14:09):
it it really is embracing myindependence.
You know, I I'm in my fifties,and I'm my weekends, I don't
really go out right now. I I'mvery quiet in my life right now,
and it's about I call it myawakening, to be quite honest. I
(14:30):
finally this morning, I wasjournaling, and I'm like, this
is an awakening. And it's, youknow, living life for almost
thirty years one way, and nowwhat's next? And it's become
apparent to me that I need toleave the city that I'm in.
I'm, someone who realized in myadult life that I had been in
(14:52):
small small towns most of mylife. And I realized that I'm a
big city girl, and I'm thehappiest when I'm in the city.
And so I'm so excited to move toVancouver. I'm moving to
Vancouver. I've known for a verylong time that Vancouver was
home for me.
Vancouver during this time ofobviously a lot of life changes,
(15:13):
big life changes, there hasn'tbeen a lot of small change the
last few years. And when I go toVancouver, I get I get my
answers.
Nicole Kirby (15:24):
Well and I kind of
hear what I hear from this, and
I'm not trying to coach thecoach, but what what I hear from
this, which is a common thingthat a lot of coaches say when
they lead into something, butwhat I hear from this is that
there is a well waiting for youto fill you up in Vancouver, and
you're directing your energytowards it in a time that is
right for you, that you havemade the realization that's
(15:45):
where you wanna be. So Icelebrate that, and thank you so
much for sharing yourtransparency and honesty about
what you're going through. Youknow, don't have to share
anything you're uncomfortablewith, but I know a lot of women
over the age of 45. And most ofmy friends, you know, I don't
call it an itch, but I'm saying,like, if they don't feel they're
being supported in certainrelationships or things around
(16:06):
them, they make changes at thisage. And I've watched them do it
myself.
I'm, you know, I'm the I'm thelone wolf of the entire friend
pack who constantly just justdoes her own thing all the time,
just says, oh, this is cool. Andmy friends are just like, you
don't have any children to worryabout. You don't have any, you
know, spouse to worry about,partner, anything like that. And
I just left because I'm like,yeah. But I chose I chose this
because that is my wealth.
Do you know what I mean? It'sjust being consistent and, like,
(16:29):
you know, operatingindependently for myself, you
know, all the time. So, youknow, one of the things that I
love about hearing with this isthat you're making the move to
find a place that is good foryou. What is one of the
highlights of your business thatyou've loved through all these
challenges you've been through?
Tara (16:45):
You know, I've always
loved to learn, and coaching is
a learning field as we know.Right? It attracts people who
love to learn. And I've alwaysbeen very fascinated by how
people's personality canleverage success, but the shadow
(17:11):
side is the blind spots thathold us back. And I'm really
excited this year to be workingon a a six week program
actually, which I'll belaunching shortly, and it's
around money mindset.
So really looking at we we havea money archetype. And looking
(17:37):
at that and looking at thepotential value conflicts we
have in our relationship towardsmoney, because I think our
relationship towards money isvery indicative and can really
highlight some of the areas thatwe're holding ourselves back in
(17:57):
our business and in our businessgrowth. And I really see, you
know, I think most of us whostart businesses, we've come
from a corporate background or,like, it sounds like you've done
nonprofit. I've done nonprofit.I worked at a university, which
I really, equate to corporate.
(18:19):
And the mindset with which wesucceeded in corporate is not
the mindset that will help ussucceed as an entrepreneur. In
fact, it gets in our way a lot,and it pains me to see women,
feeling like they're failingbecause we try and use the same
success measures and trajectorythat create success in
(18:41):
university, in corporate, evenin school. It's a very linear,
oftentimes very clear, veryclear milestones. We have clear
expectations. If we, succeed,then we generally are given more
(19:06):
responsibility or whatnot tosucceed at the next level.
Entrepreneurism is a totallydifferent animal. And and quite
honestly, I it can be such ahindrance to come into
entrepreneurship, and we have totry. The tricky thing with being
(19:27):
an entrepreneur is you're alwaystrying, and you're always
adjusting. It's like I alwaysequate things to baseball
because my son was a baseballplayer for a really long time.
You're always makingadjustments, and nobody bats a
thousand.
A really great batting averageis anything over 300. I mean,
anything over 300 is is a greatbatting average. Such a great
(19:50):
analogy to map over toentrepreneurship because we have
to try. We have to swing thebat. We have to wait for a pitch
and and, you know, hold off andwait for the walk.
We and I see so and I includemyself in this. I see so many
women feeling like somehowthey're not being successful
(20:16):
when they try something and itdoesn't work. But it's the
trying that's the success. It'sthe effort that's the success.
So I really, really try andfocus on what I call the
intangible signs of progress andhelping people broaden their
success measures because it'sit's like with weight loss.
(20:40):
If you only pay attention to thescale, that is only one measure.
And, honestly, in a lot of ways,it's something you can't
control. And we can't controlwhether somebody buys from us.
We just can't. It's like we'redealing with humans.
And so it's broadening thesuccess measures. I love the
(21:00):
question, what's easier six nowthan six months ago? What's
something that you you are doingin your business that a year
ago, you you would have neverhad the courage to do. And it's
so and so it's it's broadeningthat that definition of success
and broadening the amount ofsuccess measures that we're
(21:20):
implementing. And a lot of thoseones that are really powerful
and keep us motivated are notnecessarily what I would call
super tangible.
You need both. You need themeasurables a %. I mean, you
don't run a business withouthaving metrics. It's just the
way that it is. But there thethe intangible signs of success,
I truly believe, are the onesthat actually keep us motivated,
(21:43):
and my entire goal, my missionis to help women feel a sense of
success at every point in theirbusiness.
Nicole Kirby (21:54):
Yeah. I totally
resonate with that because I
hear that what you're saying isit's almost like maybe not
redefining the metrics, butmaking them, like, a little more
accessible to people who areentrepreneurs of any gender or
any identifying gender in that,you know, making them understand
(22:15):
that what they've done so far isprobably really great and but
they they can only see maybe onething. And that's, like, when I
ran my fitness club, we used todo interviews, and I would sit
down with each person that camein and interview them for half
an hour. And it was quite youknow, like, who is she to
interview a client? And I waslike, I wanna understand what
(22:36):
your definition of weight lossand, like, fat tissue loss is
and how you, you know, measureyour own success because it may
be just that you want moreenergy during the day and that
the fat loss, if it happens,will just be a side benefit of
that.
And if we get you to focus onsomething that works for you
(22:56):
better, maybe it won't be such astruggle to come into the gym
every day because we have anopen door. Like, we want you to
come in. We wanna hang out withyou. It was a personal training
gym, so, like, I had personaltrainers. And so they, you know,
had one on one individualattention all the time.
But what I had to understand wasI had to filter out people who
came in, and they're just like,yeah. I lost, 30 pounds with x x
y once, and I wanna do it againin a month. And I'm like, that's
(23:20):
you'd have to you'd be prettysick. Do you know what I mean?
Like, I was just like, you like,to be honest, like, that's I'd
be worried if you did.
Do Do you know what I mean?Like, you would be you might be
in the hospital at that point.Do you know what I mean? And
then also next month, you'd gainit all back plus more. Do you
know what I mean?
Like, I'm just like, you can'tstarve and make your body sick.
You know? That's not fitness.That's not wellness as I define
it, and I wanna make sure we'reon the same level that this
(23:41):
client and I are aligned inhelping them through whatever
journey they're going through sothat they have the success, but
they see it instead of measuringit simply on a scale. You know?
And I think that's what you'reyou're giving people here,
especially women entrepreneurs,is depth of perception as to
what the metric means to them.
Tara (24:00):
I love that. And what I
see happen again and again is
and, again, I include myself inthis. We feel like we have a
setback, and we do a spiral. Wepersonalize it. We magnify it.
(24:22):
And I really love the concept,and I I I try and teach this. I
find it organically comes up alot for me is being a scientist
in your own life. And being agreat scientist means being
super objective. Scientists andengineers do not judge the data.
(24:44):
They don't judge the data.
Data is data. It's just likemetrics. Your metrics are your
metrics. There's no judgment,but we judge them. And how we
judge them is we it's selfjudgment.
And as soon as we get into theself judgment spiral, it slows
us down. We start questioningourselves. We start questioning
our mission. We startquestioning, you know, whereas
(25:06):
if we step back it's likemarketing. I mean, marketing is
not my thing.
That's why I have marketingcoach. And marketing is always
going to be, something thatyou're always working on. It's
right? Like, there's no perfectmarketing. Things change.
It's a it's a dynamicenvironment. So if we do
(25:27):
something in marketing and itdoesn't hit, if we can look at
that objectively and notpersonalize it, we can help
create much more sustainablepersonal motivation. The other
piece of that I truly believe,and this is a big part of the
work that I do, is when we havea really clear vision, long term
(25:50):
vision of why we're doing whatwe're doing, that is what
sustains us over time formotivation. That's what gets you
out of the bed when you get upand you know that you have to do
some tasks in your businessbecause it's just life. I mean,
we all have tasks that we dothat aren't our favorite.
I cannot stand paperwork. I'mterrible with paper. I mean, I I
hired it out as much as I can,but let's be honest. You can't
(26:12):
hire it all out. You do have todeal with paper sometimes.
But when I get up in themorning, I know I'm like, you
are here because you wannacreate options for women, the
options that I didn't have youknow, many of us didn't have in
the entire workforce, not justwomen. But I remember I remember
(26:34):
going to work at my nine to fivewhen my son was little and
taking him to daycare, and Ihated it. I hated taking my son
to daycare. I hated it. I it wasit it just pulled at my
heartstrings.
I mean, this was a long timeago. There wasn't Internet.
There wasn't it was juststarting. There wasn't really an
(26:56):
online online business world.Right?
But I just remember thinking,you know, my husband, worked at
a town at at some point, like,six months of the year, and, you
know, you're juggling work andand kids and everything else.
And just remember, peopledeserve more options. And that's
(27:18):
pretty much what gets me out ofbed on those days when I know
that I have to deal with paper,for instance. The non sexy parts
of business.
Nicole Kirby (27:32):
I think that's so
powerful. People deserve more
options, and that's one of thegreat things I love about,
working with you even as a coachwas, you know, you had options
available to me after justlistening to me for half an
hour, which is fantastic. So,well, we are wrapping up in a
few minutes. Is there anythingyou wanna have our listeners
know in the next few minutesthat we haven't discussed yet?
Something maybe besides talkingabout the money mindset six week
(27:55):
program, you know, when it comesout, you know, contact Nicole on
LinkedIn or Instagram, NicoleKirby, n I c o l e k I r b y.
And, I know she'd love to workwith you and have people sign
up. And while it might be like asoft teaser right now, you know,
I'm looking forward to seeinghow it evolves and how it comes
out in, you know, for a six weekprogram. But is there anything
(28:15):
else you'd like to chat aboutbefore we we sign off? We got a
few minutes. If there's, like,one burning question or one
burning statement you have, youknow, what is it?
Let me know.
Tara (28:24):
Oh, thank you so much, and
thank you so much for this
interview. It's been so muchfun. I was so looking forward to
it. I think, I love networking.I have built my business on
networking.
I love eWomen. It was thenetwork that I tapped into that
I absolutely loved, and I knowyou feel the same. Just I am so
open to people reaching out onLinkedIn. And if you wanna get
(28:46):
on the phone or Zoom for fifteenor twenty minutes and just you
know, if I if I can't offersomething, I know so many
incredible coaches, trainers.And if I can't offer it, I will
connect you with somebody whocan.
I'm so blessed to know so manyamazing coaches business coaches
(29:09):
from marketing to sales towhatnot. So if somebody wants to
reach out, I'm always up for a acoffee on Zoom always.
Nicole Kirby (29:18):
Perfect. Perfect.
So you hear that? She does
discovery calls too. So that's afantastic opportunity to get to
know her and see if, you know,she wants to be, aligned with
you as a client.
And, also, you know, more abouther money mindset program coming
up. Nicole Kirby, everybody, n Ic o l e k I r b y on LinkedIn
and Instagram. She also has herwebsite, nicolekirbycoach.com.
(29:41):
Is that or dot c a?
Tara (29:42):
Nicole
nicolekirbycoaching.com.
Nicole Kirby (29:44):
Nicole Kirby
coaching Com. There we go.
Great. So, Nicole, a pleasure.Thank you so much for coming on.
And, yeah, I look forward toseeing this program develop.
Tara (29:56):
Thank you so much, Tara.
It's been so much fun, and I
hope to
Nicole Kirby (29:59):
see you in person
this year. Yes. Yes. I'm hoping
for good results too. Alright.
Thanks so much, and, thankseverybody for listening.