#400: Moving on from Breakup, Human Turtle, Confused after Cancer

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here, You're gonna give a fucking arm out of your head.
If you knew that, I would in themselves can be
anything I would.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I know, and that's why lottery check them all over.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Yeah, it's like, what's gonna like at Yeah, you.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Never know what that thing is gonna be.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
This kind of ye I'm telling you, it's very just
a big old dick just sticking right out of the
side of your head.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
It's like, dude, why do you have to risk it?

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Man? It could have been anything, just the fucking thumb,
some kind of hair, the.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Fabulous Las Vegas. No, this is pod Therapy, real people,
real problems, and real therapists. Me your questions anonymously pod
therapy dot net or email us at pod therapy because
at gmail dot com. Broadcasting from the Yes Jay and
the Ruckus poincon studio.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
Yeah is fine, they have boy. Yeah, that's John, that's Whitney.
I'm next time for some pot therapy.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Welcome everybody to another exciting episode. It is the summer
in Vegas endlessly fucking goes forever.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
That we are officially in September, which is cool.

Speaker 5 (01:06):
Off to the nineties next week.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Oh thank god for that.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
So when will do all of y'all decorate for fall?
Do you do like folloween or do faul Halloween? You
you'll wait Untilday, probably in two weeks. I'm going to
get that, okay, so mid September.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
You're just see the point of doing it twice, I know.

Speaker 5 (01:22):
And and my thing is after Halloween. I used to
be like, oh well then you go back to fall
until Christmas. No, we just go Halloween, okay in December, Yeah,
decoration like fall here Okay, Laura has one of those
little pumpkins, okay, and she'll just dig that out of closet,
sitting on the countertop, and it's like.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
It's Christmas time. We put the pumpkin away. Of course
it's tacky, silly. Yeah, November third, what are we gonna
put this?

Speaker 5 (01:55):
You have all the kids, what do.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
They go nuts?

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, the whole house gets redone. It's a full fall thing.
They're doing that today. Yeah, they're doing a trip to
hobby lobby. And my daughter's in fifth grade and so
she loves this ship. My son is a gary He's
gonna play video games all day.

Speaker 4 (02:09):
But yeah, the rest of them, there's your daughter also
not care about the oppression that hobby lobby.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
She hasn't much about it.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah, I think she's just a kid in a Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we'll ask her.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Let's explain.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
We have to explain all this ship first, like what
is Christian fascism?

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Don't get me started on Chick fil a.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah that's right, she also loves Chick fil A. I
think she's secretly Christian Fascist. But no, it's really great.
So they'll do Fall all of September, and then October
they'll switch over and do like all Halloween throughout the house,
and then November one it starts to go.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
I think they'll do Fall again.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Actually, I think she'll start doing Christmas like the week
before Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
No, no, she won't because we host Thanksgiving, so she waits.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Okay, I put that Christmas up before cut. Yeah, you know,
we wait Friday. That's when you do it. I can't
do Christmas decorating at the house anymore because I supposedly
apparently make the house look like a dorm room.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
When I decorate from it feels completely right.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Christmas lights, Christmas lights, of course you do, of course you.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Yeah. I love every bit of this. I love it.

Speaker 5 (03:21):
It's very funny.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
Yes, I'm just picturing Laura. For people who don't know Laura,
you're just missing out. I'm really experiencing the fullness of
these stories. Oh yeah, because scoring in her face once,
you could really picture Laura looking at Nick.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Take take the just be so underwhelmed.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Just take them down.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
I'll do it. I'll do it right later. Pretty much.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
I love it to come to scoop Fest just to
meet Laura. Yeah, she usually shows up on the last day.
It's a good time.

Speaker 5 (03:53):
And Jacob, what do you'll do for decorations? Are all decoration?

Speaker 3 (03:57):
She decorates a little bit.

Speaker 5 (03:59):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (03:59):
She does like to keep a wreath on the front door,
and she does have different reads for.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
Different seasons throughout the whole year.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Throughout the whole year.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Uh, I say throughout, like she has I don't know what,
five or six of them.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
Yeah, maybe maybe not even that more than just like fall.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
Yeah, she has more than two. Okay, uh but yeah,
so there's a wreath on the front door.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
I think all year long. I think she keeps it
up there.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
The summer ones just cactus.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, it's just hair dryers. About as fall as it
can get. That's that's cool. Well, welcome to the show.
We've got a couple quick announcements. I don't want to
tell a quick story that actually was I wasn't sure
if I wanted to do it in Patreon, but I
thought it'd be more fun to do it on the
main show.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
But announcement, scoop Best is coming up. That's right, go
to Hey scoops does dot com Scoopfest dot com. I'll
take you there.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
That's go over there, get your take us to the scoop
Fest and hang out with all of us.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yeah, you get soup. Your discounted room rates at the Orleans.
You were telling me the numbers. It's insane. You'll never
get to Vegas cheaper at a room, so they do
severe discounts at the Orleans. It's a good time, good peoples.
That it might be too late to get those discounts now.
We'll yeah, but other people benefited.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Also, don't forget's go to vote Jim dot net every day,
every device until mid November. Get them votes in baby,
Get Jim over the mountaintop. There's a lot of pretenders
trying to seize my crown. We can't have that. So
I want to tell a quick ten minute story before
we jump into two questions is pretty interesting.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Oh man, if you go to vote Jim dot Net,
look at this whitney are Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
You can see the one button button and then there's
the button right under here. Push push it, push it,
Jacob push God damn you god damn.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
That's great.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well, informations have the battle, so we'll take it. I
met my biological uncle for the first time in my
life this weekend. This is on your mom's side, of
your mom's side, So I just want to tell the
story really quick because it's a fascinating little tale. So
she didn't know he existed. Nobody in her family knew
this guy existly. He was the first child and he's

(06:04):
put up for adoption and they didn't know. Oh so
same parents, well, same father, same father, and so this
is father having a fling kind of thing before everybody else.
And you know, they were young and all this stuff.
So brother was put up for adoption. Nobody in the
family knows about this guy.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
Fast forward to like, did father know about did your grandfather?

Speaker 3 (06:28):
I guess father. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Grandfather was a bit estranged from the family, and so
he didn't really He raised my mom's half sister and
like even she didn't know got it. So if he knew,
he kept it really close to the vest. He never
told anybody, So fast forward all these dees. Maybe he didn't, Yeah,
because it was it was kind of a fling thing,
but a fling with somebody in town. But yeah, So

(06:50):
so he gets put up for adoption as a kid.
He goes his own direction in life. About five years ago.
His wife they had had a child late in life,
my uncle did, and so his wife was like, hey,
you know you were adopted. We don't know anything about
your biology. We have a son. You need to like
try to do one of those twenty three and meet

(07:10):
things like figure out more about you, you know, so
we can know things for your son's medical future. Right,
So he does it, and he does it through ancestry.
Ancestry pings because my mom's done ancestry and so is
my mom's half sister and they both all three of
them will have.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
The same father. Yeah, it pings, and so he connects
with him and he goes, uh, hey, wow, apparently i'm
your fucking brother. And so they're like, holy shit. So
they all get together. It's about five years ago.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
They all meet and obviously connect and find out what's
going on. And he's like, so, is there anything I
should know? And they're like, every man on our father's
side died of prostate cancer and including dad, Oh you
are you are late fifties right now.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Whenever he meets them, you need to go check and
he goes, oh, that's weird.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
I just got checked and there was a little ping,
but they said, don't worry about it. Worry about it,
and so they were like, you need to go back
and check on that again. So he goes back and
he like, he tells his doc like, hey, I just
discovered I have a huge family history of this. And
doctor's like, you know what, man, I don't still don't
worry about it, right why?

Speaker 5 (08:15):
So he's like okay.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
So then he goes golfing with his friend.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
His friend happens to be a urologist, and so he's
telling his buddy about this, and so his friends.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Like, it's better to go to Europe for medical.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
So his friends like, fuck your doctor, come to my clinic.
We're gonna go ahead and check on this. So they
check and turned out the whole time this guy's just
been trying to get in your uncles. Yeah, it was
all about sex the whole time.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Dance.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
So his buddy checks and his buddy goes, my man,
you have a fucking tumor. And so he's like, we're
gonna biopsy this. So they biop see it severe aggressive,
and so they're like fuck and his friends he's like,
what do I do? And his friend's like, uh, we
need to operate on this, and he's.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Oh, you're not gonna go back to that doctor. Yeah,
his first off, you're done with that guy.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
And he goes, we need to operate on this immediately,
and he's like immediately, what the fuck are you talking about.
He's like, today, if we don't do this in the
next three weeks, you're done in the next three years. Yeah,
that's where we're So they rush his ass to the
o R. They do a whole surgery. Good, they get it.
Everything was good, Like, his recovery was great. No further chemo,
no radiation, they got it all. So he locked me out.

(09:26):
He really won the lottery on this saved his fucking life. Sure,
ancestry dot ancestry dot com and meeting my mother and
her her sister saved his life. So now they've been
in each other's lives now for a while. So he
pings me and he's like, hey, man, I'm coming to Vegas.
I'd love to meet you for the first time. I'd
love to meet your family. And so I was like,
that's great. And so I tell my mom, like, hey,

(09:47):
my uncle reached out. She's like, oh, well that I'm
gonna fly to Vegas too, and I'm gonna meet you
or she's met him a million times.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
They actually live in the same state. But she's like,
that's exciting.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
For me that you're gonna meet my new brother, and like,
I want to be a part of that. Memories is great.
So they both came out to Vegas. She was here
all week, come to the studio. We were busy, so
she already flew out of town. But I met my uncle.
It turns out he could have brought me some rocks
from Florida. I know, Jesus, I'm sick of that ship.

(10:18):
So I get to meet my uncle. He's here because
he's the guitarist for Vertical Horizon.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
I know.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
I'm like, what, he's the guitarist for Vertical Horizon.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
And they were doing a concert at Fremont Street because
Fremont's doing that downtown rock series where they bring in
like say like Toad, the wets, Brocket nine, like they
had all these bands and so like they're basically headlining
it at fucking Fremont Street.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
So we hang out. I get to know them all day.
It's really cool.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
He brings us to Fremont Street. Uh, my son attends,
has a great concert. He brings my son up on
stage and ship it was the fucking coolest, gives us
VIP passes backstage, the whole business. So it's like fucking
so cool. Guy turns out to be a super class act.
But if you want to check him out, he's a
full time musician. He's a guitarist for Vertical Rising.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
He's starting his own side projects now, he's got his
own Patreon going on. He's launched his own YouTube channel
where he's just like a guitarficionado and so like he
just gets into music and gets into like guitar stuff.
But John Wesley, if you want to look him up
John Wesley, find him on Spotify. But yeah, dude is
super super talented guy. I'm just like watching my uncle
up there just fucking shredding for an hour and I'm like, fuck.

Speaker 5 (11:31):
Jesus, dude, what am I doing with my life?

Speaker 4 (11:33):
So yeah, I just like won the uncle lottery. That's
pretty fucking cool. Yeah, man, so cool, cool guy.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Check him out John Wesley officially Jim's uncle. Find his
Patreons does kind of look like your mom? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
they definitely have the same time. I can see a
super cool guy and in his sixties and still fucking
rock star lifing. He's traveling the country on tour right now,
and then he's got all these cool projects and doing
YouTube and stuff and just the sweetest guy.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
Man.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Just we had a great conversation just hearing about his
whole life and but yeah, he was like, Jimmy, let
me tell you something about your prostatement, ma'am.

Speaker 4 (12:12):
Down Like, I don't know if you're already getting checked,
but you need to do it. And I was like, yeah, no,
Ever since I heard about this, I'm pretty on top
of it. Uncles though, staying on top of it.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
So this is your reminder to all of our male
listeners approaching or over forty. They can just make it
part of your annual blood work. It's called a PSA.
Just ask your doctor to throw it in fuck it,
why not? So just get it thrown in and get
that check.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Man. So I want to start doing the full scan.
Yeah yeah, yeah, full the full like cancer screen, get
the pan, the full panel. Yeah yeah, why not?

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, especially prostate cancer. Man, It's one of those ones
that if they catch it early, you're straight like they
will just boo, this is done. We can knock this
out in a week, like, no problem. But if if
it is not taking care of early, it gets really bad. Yeah,
so lethality can get really high.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
But yeah, that like doing like the full body scan.
The only downside to that is that there are so
many things that everybody has, yeah, that it's just going
to light up and then so then it's like, well
now we have to explore every one of these things.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, it can be kind of an endless thing.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
I've got such a weird like uh, like Jim was
talking about there, like my my family history with cancer
is weird.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah, it is weird and storied.

Speaker 4 (13:23):
It's I'm just like I'm gonna go ahead and start
doing it because same kind of deal, Like I assume
that I'll get cancer at some point.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
So it's.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Now yeah, and and I think in your position, which
is basically on my family history rather everybody more than
not enough.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
That's right, so great, give me too much data and
I'll sort it out and I'll figure out what I want.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
To focus on.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, that's but get get checked, everybody. If your dude,
you don't even have to get your butt whole finger.
You can if you if you want, I've done it.

Speaker 5 (13:48):
It's necessary.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
I love now it's weirdly cheaper.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It used to be more expensive to
get your buttthole finger. They're discounting it. Let me tell you.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
If you fly to Portugal, okay, you can get the
red carpet treatment.

Speaker 4 (14:01):
I mean they're really getting the brown carpet treatment. They
will work you like a muppet.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
I forgot what I was going to say.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
Was it the muppy?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
I think it was.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
You are listening to therapy? All right, we got some
great questions for the show today. Let's start with how
do I move on? Hey, friends, I'm the writer from
episode number three?

Speaker 3 (14:26):
Hey, can your uncle write us a new jingle? I'm
sure he could. Yeah, you want me to talk.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
To him about that?

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah? I could.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
Just maybe that would be enough to talk me into it.
If my uncle actually writes a kick care what it
sounds like. Yeah, he'll take anything. At this point, he
could rock at accordion your shit if they're.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
On board with.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
We've been doing this for eight years. Man, we can't
just throw this thing away.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
We can.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
I love it. I we can have to fuck all
this all right? Yeah, here we go? How do I
move on?

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Hey?

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Friends, I'm the writer from episode number three forty eight
with the dog Therapist. I never spoke with her again
after that appointment, but have grown leaps and bounds with
my new therapist. You were all right, Sometimes you just
need a change. In that letter, I mentioned having a
boyfriend with a dog who didn't clean up after him,
no brushing, slow to vacuum hair off the floor, et cetera. Well,

(15:18):
we broke up in May, and surprisingly it wasn't because
of the dog. For background, my former boyfriend has aden.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
Did help ever keep the dog?

Speaker 3 (15:26):
I hope you did. Fuck this guy you don't take
care of anyway.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
For background, my former boyfriend has ADHD with major emphasis
on executive dysfunction. I have perfectionism disorder with resulting low
self worth, his inability to keep his home tidy when
I would visit or lack of prioritization of doing the
things he said he would do, like calling it designated dimes,
getting a passport, booking travel, et cetera, perpetuated my feelings

(15:51):
that I wasn't worth it or good enough. My other
oriented perfectionism left him feeling inept and not wanting to
put in the extra effort. After months of slowly drifting apart,
both arguing that the other wasn't putting in the effort,
we broke up. I was one hundred percent sure I
was doing the right thing and breaking up with him,
but his reaction had me second guessing myself.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
He was shocked, hurt, and cried. He asked if we
could take a beat to think about things and talk
again next week. His belongings were packed in my car,
but I didn't press to exchange things at that point.
In the month of May, we spoke twice. I expressed
contrician for all the ways in which I didn't try
or show up the best. Well Paul's for a second. Yeah,

(16:33):
she had everything all packed up for him, ready to
hand it off and be done with it.

Speaker 5 (16:37):
Your own place.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
Oh not like a move out. No, they live in
different residents.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Okay, okay, sorry, sorry. It was like, here's your ship back,
but he was like, please give it a p we're
talking like a backpacks worth a ship. Yeah, maybe a
back seat, maybe a back short stuff. I expressed contrition
for all the ways in which I didn't try or
show up the best. He listened, but didn't provide the
I know I messed up in these ways statements that
I was expecting that when they're like.

Speaker 5 (17:01):
Yes, yes, you're right, thank you for apologizing.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
This is going a long way. Yes, I think this
is going well. Yeah, thank you for this. We'll talk
again in the future. I also have a few more
notes you didn't.

Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Only one of us as a therapist, so I now
believe there have to be rules to that type of
fighting there. It needs to be a script like couples,
do yourself a favor and just just map out some
like ground rules for fights your relationship.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
This needs to be a thing.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
I'm sorry that you hurt your back on our vacation.

Speaker 4 (17:35):
Yeah, yeah, that's right, I'm sorry vacation.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Vaking.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah. Patreon dot com slash therapy.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Only one of us has a therapist, so I now
believe it was easier for me to.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Access my feelings. He said we could talk again, but
he didn't know when.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Fast forward a few weeks, I reached out via text
to tell him I was thinking about it, still loved him,
and was holding space for possible reconciliation. He replied that
he had been thinking about me too, still loved me,
but needed to find his own understanding. He was open
at talking, but again he didn't know when. He mentioned
returning my things and asked if he could get back
with me at a good date and time. I left it,

(18:19):
and a few weeks later I texted to ask if
I could call him.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
He was receptive.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
I called, We exchanged pleasantries and asked why he hadn't
returned my things.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
Was he leaving the door open?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
He mentioned being busy with work, but said he would
reach out in a week to coordinate a time for
pick up or drop off. I expressed that the breakup
had been harder than my past divorce, and he remarked
that I should have had a better marriage partner.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
It's stung, A.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
Yeah, like this doesn't have to do with us, it
has to do with how shitty your X was. It's stung,
but I was so happy to hear from him. And
the overall conversation was good. Fast forward again.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
It's been one month and nineteen days since I last
heard from him. I'm working with my therapist.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
I'm building up my self worth, self compassion, emotional tolerance,
and acceptance of things I cannot change. My question is
how do I accept that I may never hear from
him again? Is it ever appropriate to reach out and
just say hi? Was I strung along all this time
with promises that we could talk again? Additional background, we're
both in our late thirties, we were together for about

(19:22):
two years. My pronouns are she and her recently back
on the dating apps and trying to move forward. Also,
I'm a new Patreon member. Thank you all for what
you do for mental health.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
Signed anonymousmous.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
This is an interesting breakup strategy by the dude that's
sort of like, hey, can we can we not officialize this?
Can we have time? And now we're doing the breaks,
we're doing the not talking. Yeah, And like I think
it's so funny, how like I think this. I want
to make it a gender thing and say men and
women think about this stuff differently, Like whenever she says like, oh,
he hasn't returned my stuff?

Speaker 3 (19:56):
What does that mean? I totally see two girlfriends on
the phone being like do you think that means? Like
I think it means he's.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
Holding Yeah, that doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
And if I was talking to my buddy and if
if I was like, bro, do you return her stuff yet?
If he was like not yet, I would have no
follow up questions. Yeah, I would just be like, yeah, okay,
I get it. You good ship to do it don't happen. Yeah,
you're not going to sleep.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
With her again?

Speaker 2 (20:14):
So what's the hurry?

Speaker 4 (20:15):
You know, Like if you I'd be like, oh, ship,
I do still have that? Yeah that's oh yeah, where's
the women are? Like?

Speaker 3 (20:21):
Hi, I don't know. You know, this is totally a
thing like you.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Ever lost anything in a break up?

Speaker 4 (20:26):
Like a where's my ship? Kind of like, hey, that
does didn't make its way back?

Speaker 3 (20:30):
You're not kidding?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Never mind he's dated one person.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
I had a few excellent very much at a few high
school in early college.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
Exes held out of those cities. I feel like, yeah,
you're I feel like the chick is going to keep
a hoodie.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
I lost a guitar and an amp.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Oh you got robbed? My man?

Speaker 4 (20:49):
That's just called that is I lost a pair of
leather pants. I lost the kid never dated Taiwanese hooker.
I lost my all time favorite pair of leather pants,
and I'm still mad about it.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Hold on, I have follow up questions. How many leather
pants do you own that you can have a favorite pair.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
I think I've owned three.

Speaker 4 (21:08):
Okay at the same time, though probably no more than
two at a time.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
I feel like, okay, I'm better. I feel like if
you had a section of the closet which is the
leather pants, now, okay, are these the ass list chaps?

Speaker 3 (21:24):
No, those would be Are they're all chaps? I'm sorry?
Oh I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Okay, that's what they have in their pants.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Oh I see. So that's what makes something chaps? Is
that what chapped my ass means? Oh my god, you
were so much to keep from getting chapped?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Oh my god?

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (21:45):
Wow, Like you put those on because like your legs
and your horse while it's protection.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Thanks Bud, Yeah, I got it. I really appreciate this.
I'm getting around on.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
For a host on a show that has a horse
as one of its main Yeah, this is true. Like
you should know a little something about horses.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
You're right, Emma, I'm gonna need a little walk through
of all the chaps that you wear.

Speaker 5 (22:10):
I think that's relevant, okay, if I'm getting the whole
the whole thing. They broke up. It's kind of like
murky and foggy kind of broke up.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
And then well she was ready, she was ready to
sever and walk right. He petitioned for like, can we
go into extra endings on it?

Speaker 3 (22:26):
Let's hold it?

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah, and she was like, all right, we'll keep it
in the gray area for a while, give space. But
we're talking weeks turn into months. She's doing all the
effort of like hey are.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
We but she's back on the dating apps now.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah, So it sounds like she slowly started to find
her way into the zone of like I'm available, like
I'm not, but she has message and before me like hey,
I'm holding space for you, like I'm still waiting.

Speaker 4 (22:50):
So she's basically saying like it seems like I'm single now, yeah,
but I'm not sure when or how that happened.

Speaker 5 (22:56):
And what a horrible combination. Unfore fortunately, of like the
writer coming in with this low self esteem right like
kind of needing more validation, and some people with neurodivergence
like this ADHD. This is not this is on point
for a lot. So yeah, very on brand, and so

(23:20):
I mostly want to kind of just validate and normalize
a little bit to the right. It is not your
your fault. You aren't doing anything to like keep him
from reaching out. This is just kind of out of side,
out of mind thing. Yeah, it's a what's that time? Uh,
time loss? What's that thing that I'm totally I can't
my brain doesn't work right now. Time blindness. Time blind

(23:44):
is what I think. This is where it's like you
think it's been a couple of days or like maybe
a week, Like they just are onto the next thing
or doing the next This.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
So interesting because if I'm the writer, I'm I'm looking
to understand the theory of the other mind. Right, you
asked for extra time. I'm holding space for you.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
But a lot of where I'm at and where I'm
going next is me waiting on what you're gonna do.
Are you gonna Romeo, Juliet, this thing come kicking down
the door, baby, come back. I can change. And so
like I'm kind of waiting on you now you're doing
ADHD behavior though, like you're doing this not returning my shit,
And I'm like talking to my girlfriend, I'm like, does
this mean something?

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Or is this this eighth D shit? And it's like, yeah, no,
it's probably just ADHD shit. It's like, well, he hasn't
reached out. I'm reaching out to him. Is that a message?
Does that mean I'm not on his mind? Does that
mean I don't matter? Is he moving on?

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Or is it just ADHD ship? And it's like she's
very aware that the ADHD shit showed up a lot
in their marriag or their relationship for two years. So
for her that's gonna be such a weird place to
be to understand what the meaning of any.

Speaker 5 (24:44):
Of this is it is. But it's like also, ironically,
the thing that led to this breakup is like still casting, Yeah, breakup.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
So then if you're like fuck.

Speaker 5 (24:55):
This, I know he's just doing it again to you.
And so I'm really glad that you're in therapy and
trying to work through like building that self esteem and realizing,
I your partner isn't a bad person like your ex
partner whatever. They're not a bad person. They just they're
doing as they can. But yeah, as far as.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
I might also be a bad person.

Speaker 5 (25:16):
Yeah, I would say no, but yeah, they're just there.
They are them, They're being who they are, and you
are realizing, hey, that's not something I want. Our feelings
are still there. That's really tough. That's probably why him saying, hey,
can we leave this door open? It's kind of what
you wanted to hear. You're like, oh, good, you do care,
you do want us to be together. But then his

(25:36):
actions following up with that, We're not consistent with what
he's saying. So it's just another let down that streaming
along all of that.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
I think a lot of relationships find themselves in this
tricky situation where the person's heart is one place, like
they're saying something, they really believe this, they love you,
but then their behaviors and their actions constantly communicate that
you're not a high priority, like the writer was saying,
like and the writer, I think is leaving space four.
Or I realize I'm distorting a good portion of this

(26:03):
because I'm a little perfectionistic, and so I'm magnifying situations
and reading into situations that don't require that explanation that
I'm not a priority. It could just be that he's
absent minded, but that doesn't need to be an indictment
on my value to him, and I overly attach to that. Okay, good,
do that therapy work. But then it does get difficult
sometimes whenever you're looking to somebody, their behaviors and the
way they treat you in the relationship are not satisfying,

(26:26):
they're not fulfilling. You're giving them notes and saying, hey,
I need more, I need more of you, and like
in their heart and in these intimate moments, you realize, no,
you superprise me, like you really love me, you really
value me, but you're just incapable of like performing in
this relationship in a way that's good for me. And
when I think, when you're in the receiving side of that,

(26:46):
that's such a difficult place to be because you're like,
I sincerely love this person, and I sincerely think they
love me. And the next person might know how to
treat me but not really care about me, whereas this
person loves me to pieces. And if I can just
accept where they're at and what they're capable of, we
might be happy. But I'm sincerely never going to be
happy with this arrangement. It's just such a tough place
to be, you know, because then your heart wants one

(27:09):
thing and that that's what they're giving you. But like
the felt experience in the relationship isn't sufficient.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
It isn't working.

Speaker 5 (27:17):
I just the one little question, is it ever appropriate
to reach out and just say hi? No?

Speaker 3 (27:22):
You think just let it go? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (27:25):
I feel like appropriate isn't the right world?

Speaker 5 (27:27):
But yeah, it's not going to say no, it's not appropriate.
But like I just think if you're asking, do I
reach out and say hi? No?

Speaker 3 (27:33):
No?

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Why? Why do it? Yeah? And that's the Yeah, I mean,
what's what is the goal? What is it that you'd
want to accomplish with that? You know, because because that
does send kind of a completely different message, like Okay,
I I thought we broke up. Now you're saying, Hi,
what are we doing? Rights?

Speaker 1 (27:50):
And I get where she's at because like there's this
desire to sort of ping him to remind him, Hey,
by the way I exist, was there anything you wanted
to say?

Speaker 5 (27:56):
Probably their dynamic when they were dating.

Speaker 4 (27:58):
Yes, also like him in remind him, oh, by the way,
you actually broke up with me?

Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (28:04):
This is the way a little confrontation you.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Want to be passive aggressive, texting me like happy anniversary, babe.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
Yes, continue to make plans yeah yeah, Texts parents on
special occasions like hey, I just want to let you
know happy you know, Mother's Day, like you're great, and
happy Harbor Day.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah, you know, just send her cards.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
And the way the mom calls him was like, hey,
I'm confused, like did you guys wrink up or what's
going on?

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Like he's like, oh, fuck, I didn't do that.

Speaker 5 (28:41):
I knew there was something on my to do list
that got pushed to the bottom.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
Is there a limits or prices for gift exchange this year? Yeah,
that's right, doing that.

Speaker 4 (28:50):
I'm still in the family, White elephant.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Actually, you just show up to one of his family events.
Just do it.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
Just do that.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Oh that's great.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
Uh not Jim, Whitney and Nick were you got? Sorry
Whitney and Chuck, were you guys ever good at Sidney
at uh? Breaking up with people? At it? Now? No?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
I was terrible at it?

Speaker 5 (29:14):
Yeah, I got version.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
You seem like the kind of guy who just wants
them to break up with you and maybe starts to
like just flat tire for a while until you get fired.
Like I don't think you're a quitter. I think you're
the guy who wants to be fired, like silent, silent quitting, quiet, quitting,
quits the relationship. Yeah, he just seems to be golfing

(29:39):
three times a day now, Like.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
No, I think it's just like I'm very sensitive to
hurting people's feelings, okay, And so my breakups are a
lot like hey, you know, if it's okay with you,
I think like I think we should break up time, okay.
I mean if you want to stay together, we can't.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Yeah, I don't know what's going on with rents, Like.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's pretty much how it went.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
I'm going to put this up to a group conscience.

Speaker 5 (30:13):
I feel like in past relationships, once I was like
kind of done, I was done, Like once I realized
this isn't going like somewhere far, I'm just like okay,
well that's that's kind of it. There's not really a
revisiting or I don't know, it's like an emotional Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
No, I'm not way too though in that sense that
like I learned quickly to just pull off the band aid,
which I also got.

Speaker 5 (30:38):
I think, what's the speech, Yeah, this isn't working it's
not you, it's me.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
No, No, I don't even go there.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
Okay, sorry. Nick has just pulled a card out of
his wallet. He's taking his wallet out and he's reading
a script and he's just handed it to me. It's
a breakup speech. It says, Laura, I know we've put
together for a long time. I know that we just
got engaged. Yeah, he has two things ready, Yeah, he
had two things in our pockets at that hotel that.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Night, a ring in one, the break up reads in
the other.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
It's actually just tonight, it's it's a business card. This
is uh, this is Dave and hr.

Speaker 5 (31:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Yeah, yeah, he'll give basketball. It's the Cocks Futility to
put V number edible arrangement.

Speaker 5 (31:20):
No.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Yes, my last girlfriend, uh before getting married at twenty
years old, so it was very young. I don't think
we officially broke up. I think that we were together
for like a month.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
So you're cheating.

Speaker 4 (31:33):
Yeah, No, I think I'm still with this chick and like,
I should probably check in. That'd be so great if
connected all of a sudden, and she's like, so, anyway,
I know it's been a little while.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
I know this is awkward, but can you baby, sit
to me.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
I want to shoot you're up to like, you know,
I just feel like we just haven't been talking. Let's reconnect.
We haven't gone out much lately. We haven't gone out
much lately.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
I feel like you're really I feel like you're really
just that I feel like we both have dropped the ball,
you know. No, we just stopped talking and like I think,
like two weeks had gone by and I was like,
I think we're just not together anymore. Oh yeah yeah,
And so like I just kind of moved on. And
then one day there was wedding announcements, and then I
think that she was like wait, what, like because I

(32:15):
got engaged in two weeks after starting to date my wife.
Oh so this was extremely fast. So it's entirely possible
that when we got online and we were like, we're engaged,
my ex girlfriend.

Speaker 3 (32:25):
Was like, wait, what the fuck? Like I like, we
haven't thought it a couple of weeks.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
I actually, is it possible to get hold of this person?
This person on the show.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
I have almost an identical story to that exactly, except
we didn't get married. But it's like it was the
very first person I dated after the divorce. Who you
met Whitney because she came over to your house. She
was she was a vet.

Speaker 5 (32:52):
Yes, yes, yes, I liked her.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
She was wonderful.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
She was wonderful. But then like she had some shit
going on at and like months went by and we
would talk every once in a while, and then it
just got longer and longer and longer apart and then
but there was never any kind of like official well,
and we never said that we were exclusive, and there
was never anything happened.

Speaker 5 (33:15):
There's never an official we're dating chat. Then is there
an official we're breaking up?

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, but then it was it was several months later.

Speaker 4 (33:23):
I'm going to start having official breakup chats with people, Oh, yes,
just because it's never been done, Like, you know what,
we never ended up talking about this, and I don't
want to be a cad, So I think we should
be like people now.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yeah, no want friends with no people I'm friends with.
Oh you're going to break up conversations with friends?

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (33:41):
Oh this is great break up with friends.

Speaker 3 (33:44):
I think we should see other people.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
I don't think we should have sex anymore that this
whole time, I don't think we should. Okay, I'm a
little hurt at.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
The time of us potentially having sex has pass.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
Oh, that is a great move. I love everything about this.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
I like this idea. Oh my god, it you should
definitely do that. I want you to know it's not you.
I've just closed that door in my life with you.

Speaker 4 (34:12):
I have considered us for a long time potential sexual partner.

Speaker 5 (34:17):
My god, yes, and I and then you're.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
Like, and I no longer feel that way.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
I've changed.

Speaker 5 (34:23):
Brother, we're back to that again.

Speaker 4 (34:27):
I didn't say we didn't know the relationships. Well, we
were brothers with benefits, but now we're not.

Speaker 2 (34:34):
I'm decided because you didn't know it.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
Yeah, I don't. I'm not loud about these things.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
I assumed you saw the way I was giving you
the fuck me eyes, you know, like every time we
hung out. But I didn't think you're always getting stuck
in the washing machine. How deep are the socks in
the back of the fucking drop Jesus Christ, industrials, the

(35:05):
industrial so weird every time you're cleaning out the garbage
just buzzled.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
Here we go again. My pants seem to be loose.

Speaker 5 (35:14):
No, I was gonna say, I think sometimes the ambiguity
of this it really and I don't know if it's
a gender thing either kind of what you're saying, Jim, like,
it does fuck with women. I've noticeen my clients so
they will date or even kind of what you're saying, Nick,
where you are kind of talking to someone and they
don't respond. It just fucks with your head and so

(35:35):
you're like, wait, so do they like me? Should I
try harder? Should I be working on me and make
the best version of me? And usually my go to is,
like we've said on here before, what helps you feel
the most closure? Yeah, the kind of again what Nick said,
what's the purpose of reaching out to say hi? If
it is to give you closure to say all right?
If they do not reach back out or whatever, fine,

(35:57):
I feel like you've already done that. You've already you've
already tried, and they're kind of giving you your answer now,
and that is that they are not going to give
you what you want. So you have to kind of
move on in the way that feels best for you. Yeah,
just leave his ship on his doorstep, and I.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
Would the symbolic move at some point or like, if
it's not even worth it, then throw it away.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
It'd be oh yeah, absolutely, unless it's a guitar.

Speaker 5 (36:23):
Yeah, okay, yeah, whoever is leather pants then?

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Or leather pants?

Speaker 1 (36:28):
Those are not cheap? No, or at least let him
know which good will he can find his ship at.
He could purchase it for.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
A like a nice They weren't like the tight shiny
leather pants either, Okay. They were like a loose fitting
like matte black leather pants.

Speaker 5 (36:43):
Okay, like a like a white leg that's fun. Yeah,
it sounds very hot right now.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
It would be too hot right now? Would you wear
them with boots? I feel like those good boots, not
flip flops.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Probably leather pants and flip maybe a nice leather flip plump,
some nice linen boat shoes to go with those.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
Maybe not?

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Okay anyway, right barefoot, I think by leather pants. Think
is where we're at on this, But no, I get it.
It's really hard whenever you're getting a message from silence
to know where things stand. You know, it's like the
job hasn't fired you, but they're not rescheduling you for
any shifts, and you're like, I need to know because
I do need to decide for my life where I'm
going here.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
I'm taking other applications.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yeah, I'm starting to interview because I'm not getting any
you know, connections over here. So yeah, I mean, if
you need to announce that. I mean, I feel like
at this point I'm good with you saying hey, I
feel like we've been in a gray area for a while,
but I do want you to know I am actively
dating again.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
So there.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
You could even go less direct than that. I mean,
you could literally just be like, hey, here's your shit. Yeah,
like I'm returning your stuff. Yeah, please leave my stuff
in your backyard. You don't have to say anything about
the relationship at all. You can just make it a
transactional thing at this point and just assume on your
your own end it's done.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, and be like, hey.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
Here's your shit back and if there's anything of yours
that you need, get it.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Yeah. I like that.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
I mean it's a really tough place, writer, but I mean, look,
at the end of the day, I'm really glad that
you are aware of the things. You know that and
each of us has these You just has our little
shortcomings and issues that we need to do our own
personal work on, and your perfectionism stuff that you're aware
of that we can hyper analyze things and kind of
like an intuit value where there isn't any worth or

(38:28):
value in a situation, and we can take offence where
that's not intended. We've got to make sure that we
sand down those sharp edges on you, because I want
you to be happy, and because if you're bringing that
perfectionism on yourself, you're going to falsely assume a lot
of messages from partners in the future that are not
really there and cause your own suffering. So I'm really
glad that you're taking that look in the mirror and

(38:50):
you're doing that personal work. But it sounds like this
relationship just wasn't sustainable. It sounds like it wasn't compatible.
It sounds like you reached your own conclusions that this
wasn't going to be where you want to go. That
message has been communicated. He asked for extra time. You've
been more than fair, and I think during that time
you've allowed this thought to linger because you've allowed yourself
to stay emotionally available, and you asked, how do I
get to a place of closure. I think it starts

(39:12):
with resolving in yourself I am no longer keeping this
door open, And then I think you've got to tell
a friend or tell people in your life, like I
know that for me, it feels more real whenever I've
communicated to my stakeholders, my community, Hey, I am officially
quitting this job. I'm officially doing this thing, and like
now I feel like it's real. I've spoken into existence.
The people that know me are turning. That page is

(39:33):
in my mind. Him is always telling me about his work. Shit, Yeah,
I like to update you because that holds me accountable.
Makes it feel real, right, Jim, I've never cared about
any of it. I don't even know your last name. Yeah,
So anyway, writer, I would say that that's a good
process to getting to closure and then you know, moving on.
I'm a professional chef, you know you never bring it up.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
Absolutely, And Chris, if you happen to be listening, I
would like that guitar back.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Patron dot com slash therapy. He's never giving a b
send Nick a new guitar.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Can take a quick break in when we come back,
we're talking about becoming a human turtle. You're listening to
pod Therapy.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Today's episode is brought to you by Jake Schneider, Leah
Richard Macy Sonny Boy thunder scoopame Motherfucker, Sanderman, Waffle, Gabriel
dom may Adam Warren, and b day rhymes. Would you
like to sponsor the show? Become a thera producer patreon
dot com slash therapy alright, in honor of Jim not

(40:28):
knowing where chaps came from. Uh, here's a list of
trivia of different questions of origins of common phrases or words.
All right, Shakespeare, that's all Shakespeare one nothing. All right.
I'm gonna skip the first couple because they seem like
they're gonna be easy. Jacob, here you go. I want
the easy ones. The phrase writing shotgun means to sit

(40:52):
in the front passenger seat, originating from what I would.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
Assume, like, Oh, I guess one of two things.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
I would think either Old West stage coaches or prohibition.
Oh wow, I like both of those answers.

Speaker 4 (41:11):
Which one do you want to go to get credit
for answering one of those things? I am now going
to retire from this game. Yeah, stage coaches, Yeah, your crash.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
So the guy sitting on that side is the one
that had the shotgun. Yeah, I knew that, But I
first knew that because that was in the movie Wiae.
I talked about that because one of them is driving,
is like, Okay, you're gonna ride Shotgun because they were
they were.

Speaker 5 (41:35):
The little Shotgun out.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yes, so they were hunting buffaloes very much.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
Because Tombstone came out at the same time, I was
on Team Tombstone, I was.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
On team We've had this discussion.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
I actually saw that it's in Netflix right now, and
I was gonna watch it only because you've brought.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Me yes, and I like it because I like that
he wasn't portrayed as a really nice guy and who
is he was portrayed as an asshole? Is an asshole
And that's probably it is to you because you don't
know who is.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
What a dick uncle.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
From The Honest Terrible who plays Doc Holliday in whiter Uh.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
It's oh my god.

Speaker 4 (42:26):
Anyway, I was gonna say, like his performance his Denzel Willis, it's.

Speaker 2 (42:31):
It's the guy that played cousin Eddie. It's his brother,
Dennis Quaid.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
Dennis Waide.

Speaker 4 (42:35):
Yeah, I think the brothers performance of Doc Holliday unpopular opinion,
I think is better than Val Kilmer's agreed that an excellent.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
Perform and Val Kilma's performance is excellent.

Speaker 4 (42:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really like Dennis Quaid, but
I thought he played that.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
He doesn't like Dennis Quaid.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Tanjamin, Yeah, chuck tape.

Speaker 5 (42:59):
Ready.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
The word quarantine comes from the Italian word a fuck.
I should have vetted this, Uh, coronta coronta coronta, yeah,
meaning bull.

Speaker 5 (43:12):
Can you spell the word q u.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
A r A n t a couranta?

Speaker 3 (43:18):
What does this word mean? As her entire trivia question?

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Yeah? What does it mean?

Speaker 5 (43:22):
Do I get options?

Speaker 3 (43:23):
You do?

Speaker 5 (43:23):
Okay? Options?

Speaker 2 (43:24):
Did you have a Spanish fourteen thirty forty? And that
would be Italian because this comes from the Italian word.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
Education.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
Jim, so, I guess it's forty.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Yeah, it is forty. Do you know why?

Speaker 3 (43:43):
Because that's what the fucking word means?

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Da, because the ships the suspected of carrying the plague
were isolated for forty days. Wow, all right, Jim. The
phrase turn a blind i comes from which historical figure
allegedly ignoring a signal in.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
Battle, turning a blind eye. He ignored a signal in.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Battle, captain blind eye?

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (44:11):
Final answer?

Speaker 3 (44:13):
Can I get an era?

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Well?

Speaker 3 (44:14):
You I mean because this could be Sun Sue, you know,
or like Napoleon. I mean this is a.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Pretty broad do you want to do? You want to go?

Speaker 3 (44:22):
There's options? You give me options. Yeah, he'll give you options.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Julius Caesar, Horatio Nelson, George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
I'll take Horatio. Yeah, very good in this game. I'm
doing it all good today.

Speaker 2 (44:41):
Okay, that was it. I mean I got more, but I.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
Think so we're all tied. We all got well. But
did you yeah with multiple well you did? You did
settle down all.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
Would argued himself fine, becoming a human turtle from our
old pal l e O dare Yeah, Heyali, Hello friends,
insert seasonally appropriate salutation here. Well, Happy labor Day, Mack,
Happy Peters and mothers birthday, Giving Birthday. I have this
bad habit of retreating from my friends and family and

(45:18):
spending literal months at a time working alone with little
to no outside contact. I'm a long haul trucker, and
every attempt to hold down something resembling a normal life,
like a place to live, owning a car, having a
significant other, regular in person contact with friends and family,
et cetera, has fallen apart. I finally wound up homeless again,

(45:39):
living out of my semi truck that I rent from
my old pre pandemic boss who books me low stress
freight that lets me just keep endlessly bouncing around the USA,
slowly banging down the mountain of dead I built up
during COVID. This should be rock bottom, but I find
I'm happy again. I'm good at this and being on
my own and my own little space to myself that

(46:00):
travels around with me is all I feel like I need.
The work is fulfilling, the money is adequate, and my
only responsibility is to the next customer. Everyone tells me
this shouldn't be good enough, and that this job will
probably kill me eventually. I've known exactly one person to
successfully retire from this industry, and everyone else has either
died in their truck or lost their CDL through poor

(46:22):
health or other incidents. I think I might just be
okay with it, though I feel a little guilty just
pulling back from the world and doing my own thing
and not giving a shit about everybody else.

Speaker 3 (46:34):
But I just don't know how to be any other way.
I think it's nice inside my shell, But am I
being irresponsible to my future self burning away my precious
time on this earth? Just literally spinning my wheels. Sorry
for dropping off after so long. I don't know who
Whitney is, but she seems cool, So good job to

(46:56):
whoever convinced her to hang out with you idiots. Things
being here when I got back Ellie, odare pronouns or
she and HER's back Elly, Welcome back, Ellie.

Speaker 5 (47:07):
Nice to meet you, Ellie.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
Ellie is also recently resurfaced in the scoop community. Was
happy to see Ely back on both fronts.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
Yes, absolutely, that's an interesting concept.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Whitney, she didn't know you.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
I gotta go, Johnny come lately over here.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
She's best friends with Ellie. God, Damn, Whitney is genuinely
going to.

Speaker 4 (47:30):
Go.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Yeah, not in the corner, Whitney, Jesus, it's a bathroom.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
It's next to it. God.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
So I actually came across an Instagram, Uh, probably while
sitting on the toilet, but she was It was real
and it was just a woman who's a long haul
truck driver and it was just her posting about her
daily routine. And so she's got a dog and she
travels around and she you know, she'll do her work
or whatever. Then she gets time kind of by herself

(47:58):
and then she'll go to a park or something like that.
And so anyway, it made me think of this because
you know, Ellie is talking about how people will die
in their truck or bad health issues things like that,
and I think, yeah, if you don't make time for
other things that, yeah, but you could still have that
lifestyle and make time to you know, exercise or you know,

(48:22):
to you know, if you're buying a national park, go out,
you know, take a day, go to the park, you know,
spend some time. Get a dog that likes riding in
the truck. Yeah, and you know, take and take care
of your dog, walk your dog, and you know, there's
there's a way to make this lifestyle work. And honestly,
if it's it seems to make you happy. So it's
kind of like one of those things if if it

(48:43):
ain't broke, let's not fix it.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
A couple so neat, Oh yeah, I think it's great.
I've got a couple of family members that are that
are truckers, and like it's kind of what Ellie says,
like I don't hear from them for a while and
then like all of a sudden, randomly, out of Tuesday,
I'll get a text and be like, Hey, I'm coming
through Vegas on Thursday.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
Want to meet up and grab lunch? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (49:04):
Yeah, right, And then we meet up, we have lunch,
or sometimes I'll even just like go over to the
truck stop, right and just and just meet them at
the truck stop and we'll just hang out in the
cab and they're chat for a little while.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
There are so many professions that I think they are
an entire lifestyle. I think they do attract us a personality. Pilots,
people that are career military and you know, getting deployed
every few years, like they just podcasters.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
Even the entertainment industry.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
You know, like whenever you make friends in Vegas and
they work in the entertainment industry, professionally, they're not available
on the weekends, right, that's just never going to happen.
Like they're always going to have shit going on the
weekends in the evenings. That is the lifestyle that they're in.
And like it's interesting how for many people though their
career life suits their personality. And for Ellie to say, look,

(49:52):
I don't. I'm kind of a little bit of a hermit.
I am kind of to myself. I like not having
an entire space somewhere that I pay to keep up,
that I never live in, that I'm supposed to go
camp out in. Like I sort of like a minimalist
lifestyle where my whole life is this truck and I'm
just moving from A to B. I don't have other obligations.

(50:12):
I don't have all these extra things that take care
of like, oh no, did I pay the electric bill?
Like no, I'm just in this cab, and like I'm
just very much living like state of mind right in
front of myself. I mean a lot of these sounds
liberating in some ways.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
But when people have a lot going on in life,
the advice that they're often given is, you know, kind
of narrow your scope. Yeah, you know, get it down
to a manageable scope. And I mean it seems like
Ellie has kind of done that naturally.

Speaker 3 (50:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
This kind of speaks to, I think a larger issue
of like societal expectations over what makes someone happy. Yeah,
kind of this idea of like cool, I'm cool. Yeah,
Like you know, like okay, well you you are expected
you need to get find somebody and get married. Once
you get married, you have to have children. And once
you get children, then you have to do all these
other things. It's like, well why, I mean, if these
aren't things that you're into and this is what makes

(51:01):
you happy, then you shouldn't have to do that.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
By the way, if you've ever wondered what expectations are
put on Nick on any kind of regular basis, I
think you just heard them.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Yeah, they have listed them all out.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
If you're going to decorate, don't make it look like
a goddamn dorm room.

Speaker 5 (51:16):
The dorm room Christmas.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
Which this question of authenticity though, goes along with decorated,
because like, I feel like some of the social prescription
is exactly we just said, Nick, because we tell you, oh,
you're going to wake up one day and it'll been
ten more years in.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
The truck, and what are you gonna have to show
for it?

Speaker 1 (51:33):
And it's like, well that that implies that the rest
of us are going to have everything that we've been
building for the next ten years, Like your marriage is
going to be here in ten years, like your kids
are gonna be talking to you. It turns out we
all kind of end up alone.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
That goes with it too. It's like, oh, you'll see,
you'll see you know, if you don't have these things,
You're gonna be You're gonna be miserable one day, you'll see.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
It almost is like we need to validate our choices
because you found a g code where you do not
deal with the stress that the rest of us dealing
with you. Your your life is as stressful as what's
the traffic conditions on this road?

Speaker 5 (52:05):
Right?

Speaker 1 (52:05):
And then is my podcast Q like lined up? Like
do I have all my podcasts and audiobooks ready to go?
That actually sounds kind of nice.

Speaker 4 (52:13):
That's I'm sure there's more to life than that. Like
you still you still have to deal with life. But
at the same time, who gives a ship? Like if
you're if you're happy doing it, then be happy doing it.
And then and it sounds like you're going into it
with open eyes, right, And I think that's the only
important part. And like as a as a as a friend,
as someone who has known you for a little while. Now,

(52:34):
like I would say to any of my friends, I
would just say, like, as long as you know what
you're doing, right, and as long as you understand where
this goes, and like, is is a goal of yours retirement?

Speaker 3 (52:46):
If a goal of yours retirement let's start figuring that
out right.

Speaker 4 (52:49):
Let's let's see how take it down your debt, that's
it make a lot of life progress, and how we
can angle this into retirement. Yes, do you have any
idea how many of my friends would like to be
able to say I'm paying down on my debts?

Speaker 5 (53:01):
Oh my god? So many?

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Yes, so many and not having any overhead, Like you're
just you're you're living in your job basically, and like
that makes a lot of sense for a lot of people.
Like there's people that take temporary seasonal jobs and like
do buy you know, like teach English in China for
like six months whatever, and just like live in an
employment housing kind of thing and just attack debt and
get their lives right. So I mean Ellie's doing. I

(53:24):
think things that we would argue are actually really responsible
and like are good for future choices if you want
more options on the table in ten years and if
anytime you get sick of your job, then you're like, Okay,
I'm done driving. I've saved up some money. I think
I want to take a different thing, Like I want
to have a local circuit where I just drive between
La and Vegas.

Speaker 4 (53:42):
And I'm gonna get a condo, and like, are you're
saying that you're bad at kind of those normal life things,
you know, having having the condo, having the having the
electric bill, owning cars, you know, that kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
But it's also just practice.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
Sure, I don't it doesn't seem like you've had a
ton of practice at those things, right That's that's just
part of it. And having a reliable income and everything
to make those things a little more stable, that's part
of it. And if it sounds like your most reliable
income means that you're not with those things, yeah, so
like that, that does definitely throw a kink into trying

(54:16):
to figure that part of life out. But if you're
not interested in that part of life right now, cool.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
Well.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
And I remember years ago Ellie uh had shared with
us that and and this is all public, this has
all been in the show, but Ellie's trans and and
like Ellie's talked in the past about how this career
was such a blessing because especially and you know, I
want to believe our global society has gotten better and
better with prejudice and treating people correctly. Yeah, I know, yeah,

(54:43):
especially during this you know, the trump eras and stuff
where like all this scary stuff's happening, and like any
institution that's ever touched DEI is being attacked and like
having to like I mean like having an independent like
financial source where you're sort of just working for yourself.

Speaker 3 (54:58):
You work for one person, You just do do your job.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
You're not interacting with the world, so like you're always
in a safe place and like you're just doing I
know that Ellie's talked in the past about how that
is a real blessing. Oh yeah, and like has given
a lot of security that other people, you know, in
that situation do not experience.

Speaker 3 (55:13):
So I could see this.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
I think again, I think we're all singing the same song,
except for Whitney who had to go.

Speaker 5 (55:18):
Pee that you established a pea corner.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
Of Yeah, okay, you mark your territory, O Dwight in
the elevator.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
I love this for you. I think if you're happy,
we're happy. And I think that if you decide later
that your values have changed and you want new experiences
in your life, or you want long term friendships, or
you find this is no longer making you happy, then
I think you re evaluate and you make a life change.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
There.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
But I don't think you need to make these ten
year friendship investments to find people in your fifties to
be friends with. Like you could just stop what you're doing,
go and socialize at that stage of life and you'll
meet people, make friends, and have family connections at that
point or date.

Speaker 5 (55:54):
Yeah, I think going against well and hearing you mention
the elis trans I mean they've probably already gone through
this where they've gone against the grain of what society
tells us we quote should do.

Speaker 3 (56:06):
If you had been around Whitney, you'd already know that
about Ellie.

Speaker 5 (56:09):
Yeah, I didn't want to be part of this. I
was scared then here I am. But I remember after
finishing grad school, I'm Peter and I moved to Costa
Rica for a year and one of the responses my
dad gave up the time was the oh, well, are
you wasting your degree? You know that you just thought

(56:31):
and on my list was I'd love to live in
another country and learn another language, and so I was like,
this is my opportunity to accomplish something like that. We
don't know how much time we have on earth, so like,
you really have to do what feels best for you
and the world will constantly be telling you you should
be doing things a certain way. I think, like what
Jim said, they're projecting their own it's about them when

(56:54):
they say that, they're projecting their own insecurities or validation
onto you. Like, Oh, well, if you aren't doing it
the way I'm doing it, then I must be doing
something wrong. And I don't want to think I'm doing
something wrong, So I'm gonna tell you to do it
my way, like so we can all be right here.
But yeah, I think that just like all the guys,
all the boys said, I, I think that's wonderful that

(57:14):
you found something you really enjoy. The other thing I
thought about, too, was on my I know y'all are
going to make fun of me for this. On the
flight home, I watch my favorite movie, Pride and Prejudice.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Oh wow, did you watch Pride Prejudice and Zombies?

Speaker 5 (57:29):
No? I don't know what that.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
Is, but it's a different movie.

Speaker 5 (57:34):
Okay, No, The Cure and Nightley just classic. It's I
just love rewatching it. And I think it's because I
love time period like movies because it's so simple, right,
It's so simple. I don't think the world was better
than or anything I just I love watching that simplicity
and the.

Speaker 3 (57:52):
Plot structure of those types of movies.

Speaker 4 (57:54):
Yich for you, right, Yeah, it's like slow the society
has one hundred people in it.

Speaker 5 (57:59):
Right exactly, and thinking about like, oh am I waste
kind of like wasting these years or it's dangerous or whatever.
I think back to then where it's like women in particular,
you know, oh do you do you play the piano forte?
Or do you kN or do or like embroider or
some shit, Like they're just sitting around right doing fucking

(58:20):
nothing because.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
If you were part of that class, there was nothing
to do.

Speaker 5 (58:25):
There's nothing to do, You're just chilling. And so I'm like,
we're those people wasting their life, Like who are we
to say that? And so they're just living like all
of us are just living.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
We're touching on something I think that I see in society,
and I wonder if y'all would agree. There seems to
be this like complexity bias where it's like if you've
found happiness and you've shunned certain things that society told
us we're supposed to have, like the search for money,
Like if you found your little life and you're late
happy and be like, why are you trying to get
a promotion? Why are you trying to why aren't you

(58:56):
having more have some kids? Yeah, why don't you do this?
And it's like, is why to society fucking hate that
somebody can just get to their space. They're happy, everything's good,
and they don't need to add more complexity to their system.
They don't want to be partnered, they don't want a kid,
they don't want a promotion, they don't want to rise
in the ranks, they don't want more money, they don't
need more responsibility, don't give a fuck what kind of

(59:17):
car they drive.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
They're not trying to get you know this next. They're
just fine.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
I think, yeah, because sometimes it's hard for people to
see because something is so important to them right that
they think, well, if you don't see how important this
thing is, right, then something's wrong with you. Yeah. I's
opposed to being just like, yeah, it's just not important,
because the only other option is there's something wrong with
my life right.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Because I'm unhappy, but at least I'm making progress, right.
And it's like this relentless pursuit of complexity in progress
seems to be a Western ideal that I'm sure in
other ancient societies, like if you're in ancient China or somebody,
that I'm sure that it was there was a different
set of like social obligations that it was curious if
you were shunning. Yeah, and like in our day and time,
it's this, it's this like worship of progress, complexity, aspiration.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
Everybody's supposed to be.

Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
That's interesting, it's interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
I also kind of think of like because I think
of my parents generation. You know, like you worked hard,
you had a job, and you stick with that job
for exactly and then whatever job wherever you started, you
end up retiring with that same job, right. You know.
It's like yeah, because at that time, you know, the
the CEO was only making twenty times goes into the system,

(01:00:27):
and so it's like, yeah, so it was a great system.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
Today is enjoyed the democratic social kind.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Of you kind of had like the perfect mix and yeah,
that that lifestyle worked perfectly for the system in which
you lived in. And they don't realize that the system
has completely changed. But now they're under they don't. Now
they're wondering like, well, why aren't you copying the same
formula that we used and it's like, because that formula

(01:00:58):
is no longer applicable. Yeah, it's antiquated, it doesn't work anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:01:03):
I support myself through college with a fifteen hour a
week job, right yeah, yeah, that pays me eight dollars
an hour.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
Like that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
That's not enough to work through college and get an education.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
Yeah. And so then it's like this this idea that like, oh, well,
if you're struggling, it's because you didn't copy my formula.
Right right, My formula works. I've proven it works. All
you have to do is copy it. Yeah, And so
it's like you're avocado toast. Yeah, he sucked it all up.

Speaker 5 (01:01:29):
But as simple asn't successful. And it sounds like Ellie
found a way to be successful in her own eyes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
And so it's like, honestly, there's a lot of people
aspiring right now to reach this philosophical point and build
a life where they've achieved happiness and balance and peace
and it's sustainable. But in order to do that, you
are going to have to release your desire for other things,
for more levels of complexity. It's kind of a Buddhist principle,

(01:01:55):
but I think it flies in the face of an
entire culture of Western capitalism, and honestly, our culture of
seek complexity, seek progress is necessary in a hyper capitalistic society.
You need that to be the narrative because then you're
always buying another coke or pepsi to be happy, and
you need another car, need to We need consumers, nobody

(01:02:15):
to be happy. Don't buy pepsi. Yeah, but you need
everybody to be a consumer, and so you need everybody.
You're not happy, be going back to the well seeking happiness.
You found happiness, ellly, so fuck the world, fuck society.

Speaker 5 (01:02:26):
Don't buy pepsi.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Don't buy pepsi, yeah, you know, and just live your
little turtle life. I mean, you're happy, and the day
comes that you realize you're not, or you realize this
job is no longer good for my health and my needs.
Then you make an adjustment to life and maybe you
see that coming twenty four months ahead of you know
when it needs to happen, and then you start making
incremental changes in your life. You stay in the industry,

(01:02:49):
but you take more of a desk job or whatever.
You become a booker. Like maybe things like that can happen.
So I think you're fine.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Honestly, it sounds like a pretty sweet gig.

Speaker 5 (01:02:57):
Yeah, Vegas, she has before.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Oh yeah, I've actually thought about this, like it would
be kind of nice to have that freedom and be
like a long haul.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
I would say twice a year, I fan, I go
looking up trucker jobs and I think, like, could I hypothetically, you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
Know, because it's like you're.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
Like, I'm just I'm ab responsible. I'm still I.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
Want to do a long haul truck driving job, as
long as that long haul is just from here to
La Joya.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
Go to.

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
I just want the job to be driving seven hours
to the coast, loading up with the goods from China,
driving back in, putting it on a train, Like I
just want a route.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
You know?

Speaker 5 (01:03:44):
He really quick? Does anyone else just stare and watch
when truckers are like backing into those space like anywhere
when they're parking, I'm just like, how the fuck do
they switch moved? Like how do they maneuver that thing?

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
Go to like theater loading docks?

Speaker 5 (01:04:01):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (01:04:01):
Watching them get into like even more complicated areas and everything.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
It's a way. Honestly, I think the worst part about
it would just be other people.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Like what it always is.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Yeah, I would love to do a long haul truck
and drive that, except other people on the road already
annoy the ship out of me. And if I was
in a truck and like had to deal with all
that bullshit, it's.

Speaker 5 (01:04:25):
Like one way or another, people are their assholes to
try and like get over and cut you off because
they're like, oh, the truck's way back there, when you're like,
I only have so much breaking space. But I know
that the other end I do see often are people
giving truck space. And I was like, yeah, I love
when we work together to help that truck get over
everyone's slowing down, Like I.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
Give that truck space because he will hit me.

Speaker 5 (01:04:47):
So yeah, if he doesn't see me, hits me natural
concert I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
Still getting Honestly, I won't even notice.

Speaker 3 (01:04:53):
Yeah, you'll be dead a long time before he noticed that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
And this month we're going to have him down at
the DMV to do the the pretest and s up
to get the learners permit. So we're we're looking at
these driving schools to put them in as well to
get them some extra training. There's this one that they
take you down to the racetrack, and they they actually
get you in a truck, a semi truck, and you

(01:05:20):
get to ride in the truck so that you can
understand how little they can see, you know, where the
blind spots of the truck are great, and they make
you go at full.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
You can get this. If you can't see my mirrors,
I can't see you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
And so they teach the kids like, hey, this is
what this person is dealing with. So from now on
when you're driving, you need to be thinking the way
they think, and you to put yourself where they need
you to be.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
Yeah, that's really cool.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
And they also like hoose down the track and teach
them how to fishtail and correct out and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
So we had to do that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
That's really cool. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
So yeah your driver, Yeah, I mean yeah then uh yeah,
we just had parallel because we had I mean, we
had you know, like snow and ice.

Speaker 5 (01:05:58):
Yeah, they're like great, Like if you can't.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
See the bottom of that water, don't drive into it.

Speaker 5 (01:06:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
There remember that advice advice the car will float away
because the gators will float away.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
Because of the gators.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
They will kiss you Ellie, welcome back. It's so good
to have you be a turtle, Ellie, be happy. I
just I'm happy for you that you've resurfaced that your
yea live your best site like whatever makes you.

Speaker 4 (01:06:32):
If it's making happy, it's it's uh, you'll helping helping
life and helping move forward, like kind of what else
is there?

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Yeah, you've you've figured out the hack. You've got the
life code, so just live your damn life. We're going
to take a quick break and when we come back,
we are talking about a mother feeling confused after beating cancer.
You're listening to pod there.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
I really thought you were gonna say her kids. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
Episode it has brought to you by Jake Schnider, Richard
Boy Scoop, Slurpika, motherfucker, Sander Mcwafflelena Gabriel, Adam Warren and
he gave crimes and if you like sponsors, become a
Producerton dot com Slash two one. Here we go, Jacobs
in the league. All right. Uh, the phrase kick the bucket,

(01:07:18):
meaning to die, likely came from.

Speaker 4 (01:07:21):
What huh My first thought was about mules, but that's
probably not it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
Let's hear some options.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
If about mule, it's gonna be great. A medieval mule
not a mid evil execution method. Okay, pigs being slaughtered.

Speaker 5 (01:07:40):
While like suicide.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Pigs being slaughtered while hung from a beam called a bucket.
That's good, old ship shipboard slang for falling overboard. Miners
dying in cave ms with buckets nearby. The last one
feels like a wretch? Does that one? I think it's
the hanging one.

Speaker 4 (01:08:03):
I think it's the kicking the bucket out from under
somebody while they're being hanged.

Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
That feels right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
Where was that one?

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
Yeah? No, no, passes to whitney man. That was the
That was the money answer.

Speaker 5 (01:08:17):
I liked that one with pigs.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Pigs being slaughtered while hung from a beam called a bucket,
old shipboard slang for falling overboard.

Speaker 4 (01:08:27):
Next right, No, wow, so I'm down to pigs pictures,
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
Fuck, let's go with the miners thing point for neck
the slaughtered a bucket es.

Speaker 4 (01:08:43):
I almost went with that one just because of the
I was like, that is such a specific.

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
Thing to call a beam a bucket.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Yeah, that's a made up thing.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
That's a weirdly specific made up.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
Also a thing you cannot kick because it is by
definition definitely not where you go. Yeah, that is, they're
hung upside down. I don't want to hear your excuses.
People have spoken, all right, I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:09:06):
Sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Is the correct right? Thank you? Thank you for correctly.

Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
I got a.

Speaker 5 (01:09:16):
Point, Whitney.

Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
The word sandwich is named after the Earl of Sandwich,
who did what? Oh man, I didn't come up with
it the earl.

Speaker 4 (01:09:33):
I feel like I know he's been.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
He loved eating bread with fish. He doesn't needed a
quick meal during gambling sessions. Who doesn't popularized street food
in London? Who doesn't or traveled wildly widely and copied
medieval Eastern Sorry, god damn it, I can't Middle Eastern flatbreads.

Speaker 5 (01:10:00):
I could say or be what was a again.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
I loved eating bread with fish.

Speaker 5 (01:10:05):
I'm gonna say that one.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
No, damn, I.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
Think it's the gambling one.

Speaker 2 (01:10:09):
Needed a quick meal during gambling sessions.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
I remember this.

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
I thought the story was this guy had done it
for social engagements, And that's the only one that seems
like a social engagement related one.

Speaker 3 (01:10:18):
So I'm gonna go with that, correct Yes, all right,
all right?

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
Oh this one, I know, Jim. The phrase sleep tight
comes from what historical practice?

Speaker 3 (01:10:29):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:10:30):
Crst oh I know this one. I think sleep can
I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
Well, all right, I'm gonna take a shot in the
dark to keep it interesting, all right. I think it's
the thing where they would put you in a sleep
sack and they would sew you in.

Speaker 3 (01:10:45):
This is what I was saying, and I'm sure there
were several reasons to do this.

Speaker 1 (01:10:50):
The one that I've seen in a movie was from
The Patriot, where they do that so that you don't
go fuck this guy's daughter if you're sleeping over.

Speaker 3 (01:10:57):
So, yeah, we will.

Speaker 1 (01:10:58):
House you if you're a soldiers something like that, or
if you're a wanderer or you're a traveler. But the
deal is we're sewing you in a bag up to
the neck so that you're not popping out, hurting anybody,
or doing anything weird.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
Not realizing there's a lot of stuff we can do.
You can do with your mouth.

Speaker 4 (01:11:11):
Yeah, and your daughter is a freak.

Speaker 3 (01:11:18):
Put me to work.

Speaker 4 (01:11:20):
That's my guess, well thought out, but no, take options.

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
I will take.

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
Options, okay, sleeping with arms wrapped tight for warmth, laced nightcloths,
ropes holding up mattresses that needed tightening, tightly shut windows
to keep bugs out.

Speaker 3 (01:11:38):
No, maybe that. I mean that last one. That last
one seems plausible too. I'll go a no, Wowa.

Speaker 5 (01:11:46):
I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
Tight laced night clothes, ropes holding up mattresses that needed tightening,
or tightly shutting windows to keep bugs out.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
I mean the bugs ones yet realistic?

Speaker 5 (01:12:03):
Really, I feel like see.

Speaker 4 (01:12:06):
Okay, yes, you're correct. Wow, I had ropes that needed
to be tightened.

Speaker 5 (01:12:11):
I feel like that's something I'm like, I to my
mattress to fall so sleep tight.

Speaker 4 (01:12:15):
Okay, all right, wow, all right, Well I'm in the
winner circle. I think mother confused after beating cancer.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
I think it would have been true if you had
gotten that question. Yeah, then I would have been smoking everybody. Hey, guys,
my mama Carol was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year.
I've worked hard to cheer her through her surgeries, infection setbacks,
and I drove from Chattanooga at five am on Monday,
August twenty fifth to Lexington, Kentucky to see her take

(01:12:47):
her last radiation treatment. At nine am, she rang the
bell as she is cancer free, and I thought all
was great, and we took pics and we celebrated. However,
she is now lost and confused. With her new clean
bill of health? How can I support her with her
new clean bill of health? Thanks for the advice, Andrea.

Speaker 5 (01:13:09):
I have thought about this, Okay, the weird feeling if
you go through something as traumatic as you're about to die.
I might die from this, and then like immediately after,
I think as you process, like your your mentality can shift,
but immediately after just I don't know, Like how do

(01:13:30):
you function? Are you just you're not like, yay, I'm
I have my.

Speaker 3 (01:13:33):
Life to allow yourself to hope.

Speaker 1 (01:13:35):
Like the whole time, you're probably like, don't don't look
out that window, don't believe, just stay focused.

Speaker 4 (01:13:40):
I think it's less that, honestly, I think it's less
the I'm not hoping and more this is.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
Just what I've been doing right. Nothing else is just
the habit of it.

Speaker 4 (01:13:51):
Like I'm waking up every day I'm thinking about like
I've got to I've got to take pills. I've got
to I've got to make sure to do all this
regimen correctly. I've got to make sure that these appointments
are Now.

Speaker 5 (01:14:00):
You don't have to worry about any of it.

Speaker 4 (01:14:01):
That's it, Like if nothing else, it's just such a
dramatic change in what you have to do in your
day to day.

Speaker 5 (01:14:08):
Oh okay, this is a horrible comparison, but I feel
like a comparison is like if you're buying a house,
you spend all like months and months you're like looking
on Zilo. You're talking to your realtor you're like, all right,
I need to think of this many bedroom this right right,
look looking, I'm looking, and then you buy the house
and you're like, oh, I guess, I mean, I guess
I don't need Zillo anymore. Like I'll just take that off,

(01:14:28):
like it was a part of my routine, Like every
night I'm looking at these things like that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:32):
What yeah, I was kind of thinking even like uh,
you know, hearing people retiring from the military or like
returning from duty. Now it's just like, yeah, my job
when I was in Iraq was to do X, Y
and Z and people's lives depending on that. And then
you come home and it's like all right.

Speaker 4 (01:14:50):
Well similar though it is, like my job in Iraq
was to get up at six hundred.

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
It was to then go eat, like like I had
my job.

Speaker 4 (01:15:01):
The necessity of my task forget about military because military
like it it makes it. It really step steps out everything.
But I mean just four people doing any kind of
any kind of work.

Speaker 5 (01:15:12):
Off.

Speaker 4 (01:15:13):
I get up every day, I go to work at
eight o'clock. I come home at five o'clock. That that
is what I do. Now I'm retired, I've got this
block of time in the middle of my day. I
simply don't know what to do with It.

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
Is such a life shift. I mean, you think about golf.
It takes a long time, that's right. You think about
like I think we're talking about like phase of life shifts,
buying that house, changing careers, coming back home from the military,
empty nesters, you know, like things where your life looked
one kind of way for so long, and there was
this regimented mentality of like wake up, do thing, do thing,

(01:15:47):
do thing, and then you get to the end and
it's like, oh my god, you must be so relieved,
it must be so good. And it's like, sure, yes, yes,
eventually I will be. I was doing all that to
get here, right, and so like that here and I
don't know what to do. But now, yeah, I'm staring
at a blank space where I've just had to be
so single minded for so the car right now, what

(01:16:07):
you know, I think that. I guess we all empathize
with you know, Mama Carroll in this like yeah no,
And you know when you think about that to support Andrea,
like how are you supposed to I guess help a
person through that?

Speaker 2 (01:16:20):
Like what do you when you when you've won the
Super Bowl? Right, won the lottery? You know, like yeah,
like this thing that I was set to do that
I was just so focused on.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
I saw a documentary this I forgot who he was.

Speaker 1 (01:16:33):
He was a defensive tackle, but he was like one
of the best in the the era, and he won
a Super Bowl and his son was telling the story
in the documentary. That's the saddest I've ever seen. My
father was like a week after the Super Bowl. Yeah,
because like all the interviews are done, it's in the books. Great,
we're talking about next season now, and this guy is
like thinking, like my whole life's purpose.

Speaker 3 (01:16:51):
I was waking up at four am, you know, the.

Speaker 2 (01:16:53):
Dude do that?

Speaker 3 (01:16:54):
And I did it.

Speaker 4 (01:16:55):
I hoisted the trophy. Okay, you know like I did.
Aren't you happy?

Speaker 5 (01:16:59):
Like sure?

Speaker 4 (01:17:00):
I mean I really do kind of kind of like golf,
finding a good kind of low impact hobby that is
slow going and kind of takes a while. I'm thinking
things like golf. I'm thinking things like kayaking, you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
Know, finding a new activity to introduce to Mama Carroll
that like, hey, yeah, I was thinking we should do
crochet together, or I mean they live far away from
each other, but having a new kind of adventure. Recommending
a book like something to start kind of getting invested in.

Speaker 4 (01:17:30):
I think, is what Yeah, yeah, something something to like,
something that's nice and something that is enjoyable and peaceful,
but also something that just takes up some time, something
that takes some takes a couple of hours off the clock.

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
I beat cancer, Now I'm gonna beat golf.

Speaker 5 (01:17:46):
Yeah, and it'll never happen.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
Golfs cancer is higher than in beating golf, for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:17:57):
Exactly he prevented it, nailed it.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
Scored an eighteen. Yep.

Speaker 5 (01:18:05):
I feel like.

Speaker 4 (01:18:06):
I always I'm always bothered by Kim Jong un lying
about golf too.

Speaker 2 (01:18:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:18:10):
You know why I'm bothered about it because he never
just says that I scored an eighteen. He doesn't just
say I scored like a perfect hole in one on
every hole. He'll say like he scored something like a
twenty three. Yeah, yeah, so you got a couple of
hold ones.

Speaker 5 (01:18:23):
Yeah, yeah, which well not all.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
Of them because that would be silly. He missed a
couple three.

Speaker 4 (01:18:28):
Foot realistic to make this lie believable like this, They
settled on a number too.

Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
They were like, twenty two is silly, twenty three plausible, right.

Speaker 5 (01:18:42):
I think eventually getting to what Jacob said is great
advice and something to maybe talk through with your mom.
But I also think kind of just uh, don't feel
like you have to manage your feelings, Like I don't
have to get her to be happy now, or to

(01:19:07):
get her to a certain point, Like I would almost
take the pursuit of just checking in with her and asking,
you know, hey, how are we doing today? Like where
we at? Maybe come up with a little scale for
something that doesn't feel so much like you're grilling her
every time you see her, talk to her, but just yeah,
checking in sort of and if she says, oh, you

(01:19:30):
know what, I'm having a weird day, I just it
was hard to get out of bed because I'm not
really sure what the purpose is or whatever. If she's
going through something like that, I'm not sure. You didn't
like describe specifically how her feeling lost and confused, like
is manifesting, but whatever that is, just be like, oh,
you know, just validate a lot and let her feel

(01:19:50):
those things and kind of just allowing her to be
a little lost for a moment, because being lost is
what helps helps us get to the found part and
not feeling like we have to fill that or fix it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:02):
You know, I love that advice. You know, you just
reminded me too that as a general principle, anytime humans
go through significant life change, even positive ones, we kind
of look to the stages of grief as sort of
this processing model of how humans usually go through the
digestion of that change. And you'd think, why would anybody
be sad about beating cancer or why would you know,

(01:20:24):
like in denial a boil you I think we could
all nod to feeling and denial about it, like it
doesn't feel true, or why would somebody be angry about
beating cancer? And it isn't necessarily those things. It's just
a restlessness, you know, and a sense of disease that
you know, this this doesn't quite connect. Something feels off
and I don't know, like I feel sullen, I feel
you know, strange and it's just like the gears are

(01:20:45):
not yet connecting to this new reality. And I love
your point that you can't rescue a person out of
that that and this is why we have the model
of the stages of grief is I think to reassure
the person and those around them that you are going
to just go ahead and walk through this and that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:21:03):
This is healthy.

Speaker 1 (01:21:04):
You will rediscover life, purpose, life direction. You're digesting and
metabolizing this strange energy and the strange placement. There's no epiphany.
There's nothing Andrea can say to Mama Carroll that's gonna
be like, oh the lights turn on and be like,
oh thanks, honey, great, Oh it all makes sense now,
you know. There's no book like it's just let her
meander and process this and find it in her own time.

Speaker 3 (01:21:26):
And Andrew, I think you.

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
Have been a wonderful asset to her throughout this whole journey,
driving all the way out there, holding her hand, being
there on the day she rings the bell, like being
there throughout this process, getting there early in the morning,
like you have been just a witness and a partaker
and a supporter. And at this next stage, I think
your job is not to fix it. But your job

(01:21:47):
might be very similar to a therapist to.

Speaker 4 (01:21:50):
Witness continuing to be around, because I think the worst
part with this, with with this scenario would be like you.

Speaker 2 (01:21:59):
Know, mothers struggling daughters right there the whole time, mother
overcomes this amazing feat and then daughter doesn't feel like, okay, cool,
you don't need me anymore at it. There's more distance,
you know. Then I think that even feels worse for mom, sure,
as opposed to just like okay, cool, let's continue to
be involved, continue to be a support system, even if

(01:22:21):
you're not trying to. Like Jim said, you're not trying
to fix the problem, you're just being present and just
you know, maintaining communication, maintaining you know, being around.

Speaker 3 (01:22:29):
Yeah, and you're doing something in that process. I mean,
there's that old saying, right, don't don't just don't just
do something stand there, you know, turning out that old
axiom on its head that actually, when somebody's in crisis
recovering from crisis, a lot of times we're just holding
space and creating a space for them to talk through it,

(01:22:49):
to process to and you're holding up a human mirror
for them to like language, what they're feeling, and if
they're like, I'm just feeling so confused, hun like I
don't know, Like I just I can't. I'm just in
this weird melancholy state of can't seem to make sense
of it all. Okay, great, just be there with them
and just say, wow, that that sounds really confusing, that
that is difficult.

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
So here's something I was thinking about from mom's perspective.
What are your thoughts on this? Because I know a
lot of people like when they go through a situation
like this, they really dodge a bullet, you know, and
then they come out the other side and like, Okay,
I got to make my life mean something now. Sure,
Sometimes it's yeah, because like that in and of itself,
there's a part of that that I think is great

(01:23:29):
and it's very motivating, but then like there's this other
part of it too that like you can that could
be very dangerous. That mindset. Yeah, I always think of
like in Saving Private Ryan, the very last scene, you know,
you know, where he's like spoiler alert for saving Probably yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23:46):
Turn it off, mute the next minute spoiler we're.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
Alert For those of you who know nothing about World
War two.

Speaker 4 (01:23:52):
I don't want to alert for people who haven't seen
saving Private Ryan and haven't seen the outcome.

Speaker 3 (01:23:57):
Of World War two. Yeah, both will be right.

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
Go ahead, you're gonna like it. It's good.

Speaker 3 (01:24:06):
Spoiler spoiler you live. Yeah no, I think the Germans
are pretty happy to be U asshole too disagree.

Speaker 2 (01:24:17):
So anyway, you know, he you know, as he's dying,
he's you know, he sells, says to Matt Damon, He's like,
earn this, you know, like earn it. I'm dying, now,
make your life mean something, which is like, okay, great,
what a wonderful story. But then you see like how
that emotionally hurt Matt Dame Matt Damon's character throughout that movie,

(01:24:38):
because now he's an old man and he's just sobbing,
and he's like and he's asking his wife for reassurance, like,
was was my life worth this? Was it was? Tell
me I was a good husband? Tell me it's like
and then you realize like he's been carrying this on
his shoulders for decades and how difficult that is to
carry that, you know, and so it's don't if if

(01:25:01):
I was talking to your mom too, I would kind
of like, hey, you know, this is a wonderful thing
that has happened. Enjoy it. But just live your life,
you know. Don't feel like pressure that like now that
I've done this, now I've got to solve you know,
global warming, you know, and I'm not complete unless I
do something amazing. You know. It's like, no, just live
your life and living a full life that's amazing.

Speaker 6 (01:25:24):
Also, enjoy enjoy the victory and enjoy like you've accomplished something, right,
Enjoy that I take take a moment to be proud
of that as well, right, because that's you know it
doesn't it feels like you've done something uh heroic and
and kind of grand. But at the same time, you

(01:25:45):
can't really point anything and say like here's the thing
that I did, right, and that that's a little weird.

Speaker 3 (01:25:49):
So I mean take that.

Speaker 4 (01:25:50):
Time and really really look at it and go like, yeah,
I fucking I fucking did this.

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
Yeah, find a way to celebrate. Yeah, if you, if you,
maybe I was gonna say cigarettes, but yeah, you just
beat cancer. Maybe let's start.

Speaker 1 (01:26:04):
Lightning, don strike twice double Jeopardy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:10):
Cancer follows no. I.

Speaker 5 (01:26:16):
Uh so, my mom got remarried a couple of years ago,
and her husband and they've they've been together maybe six
years now total. But her husband when they had met,
he had been a couple of years out of recovery
from cancer. He had like part of his throat removed.
He was an alcoholic for years, and I think that

(01:26:38):
contributed to some of it, but probably no like heavy alcoholic.
So he's sober now. But he has described that there's
almost like a PTSD to surviving cancer, at least for him.
I'm not saying that everyone goes through this, but it's
something I hadn't ever thought about where it's almost like

(01:27:00):
a fear that it will come back, or like like
you're not out of the woods even though it's been years.
And I was like, man, that is an interesting concept
to one just be carrying around this kind of sense
of dread or I'm not saying it's all the time,
but you know that those are thoughts he has. And
also he doesn't totally take on the like I have

(01:27:23):
to make my like super meaningful or anything like that,
but he does I can tell live his life very
much like I want to do this, I'm gonna do it,
like sometimes to have vault At times, he has like
nine or ten dogs or something, because he reshes them all.
He's like rescue the dogs. Like, oh my gosh, he's
a sweetheart, but like he just kind of.

Speaker 4 (01:27:43):
Does when I die, come check on SJ because she
will have so many dogs, so.

Speaker 5 (01:27:48):
Many that will be her from that noted, that's that's
your official will.

Speaker 2 (01:27:54):
Oh yeah, that's the will.

Speaker 4 (01:27:56):
The only reason she doesn't have more than two right
now is sitting next to you on the couch.

Speaker 5 (01:28:00):
That's so cute. But that was something that I thought
was really interesting. And for him if he has like
friends or even some days my mom will just like
want to, you know, chill on the couch on a
day off or something like that. I think he has
a hard time with that. But it's like, why aren't
she getting outside and just just doing whatever. We can
go on a motorcycle ride, or it can be a

(01:28:22):
hike or you know, and all that's great too, but
I think there's a slight sense of more sense of
urgency from him. And he's younger than my mom by
a couple of years, so it's like he's out there
trying to go do stuff, and if there's a day
or two where she like doesn't really want to, it
can be a little contentious because it's like, well.

Speaker 3 (01:28:39):
He's got a carpe dim men, Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 5 (01:28:41):
And I was like, that's just they've been through different
things in life, and so yeah, there's just a lot
of interesting perspectives I wouldn't have thought of from somebody
surviving changes everything.

Speaker 1 (01:28:51):
I've had a patient tell me once, I'm cancer free,
but I'll never be free of cancer. We'll never yes
of the nightmare that this thing could come back.

Speaker 4 (01:28:59):
It's it's so interesting hearing you guys say the nightmare
of it. I mean, I've never had cancer, but a
lot of people in my family have. Almost every one
above a certain age in my family has had cancer.
And uh, there's always just the assumption that it's going
to come back.

Speaker 3 (01:29:18):
I know, but it's never I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:29:21):
It's as someone who has been around it but not
had it.

Speaker 3 (01:29:25):
It's an assumption, but not a fear. It's just the like, this.

Speaker 4 (01:29:29):
Thing's gonna this, We're gonna have to deal with this again. Right,
We're not done dealing with this, but we're done for
right now.

Speaker 5 (01:29:34):
To be honest, I've never heard somebody mention the fear
after until him, and I think it's something maybe maybe
not talked about, maybe because you don't want to feel
ungrateful that you've survived. Look, I got through it, so
I don't want to put like a negative.

Speaker 3 (01:29:47):
It's a mind fuck for sure.

Speaker 5 (01:29:50):
Imagine it.

Speaker 3 (01:29:51):
It's all, you know, every part of it is a
mind fuck.

Speaker 5 (01:29:53):
Yeah, yeah, especially and.

Speaker 1 (01:29:55):
The cause of cancer is having had cancer. So like
being treated for cancer and dealing with cancer, the odds
of other cancer suddenly goes up because is terrible.

Speaker 3 (01:30:04):
Yea chemo always turns out is it good for any
part of your body?

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
So it's all such a mess. But Andrew, you know,
I think that you have been so supportive of your
mother that that you know, you've gotten her through this,
that she's now recovered, that's wonderful. What great you know
stories here were always you know, thankful for success and
also just yeah, giving her that that space that digest
that just bearing witness to it more than trying to
solve it. I think that whenever you're you're not looking

(01:30:29):
down the gun barrel of your existence, the little things
of reality make up your life. You're interested that the
McRib is coming back. You're interested that it's time to
decorate for fall. You're interested, you know, of your fantasy
football league, all these silly things that do not matter,
and then whenever you're facing death, nothing matters. And then
once you've survived, you're like, well, it's hard to get

(01:30:50):
back to the regular trappings of the human life that
make things interesting, that give me orientation to the here
and now.

Speaker 3 (01:30:57):
But they just don't seem interesting anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:30:59):
They don't a very forgivable oversight, you know. And I
think eventually that stuff comes back to you start to
get reoriented. But yeah, feeling a little detached from like
the meta narrative of our society, I think that is normal,
you know. And then eventually reattack. It'sertainly not shocking, not
at all par for the course. Yeah, hole in one
for the course. I believe.

Speaker 3 (01:31:21):
Something that should be talked about more with cancer treatments.

Speaker 1 (01:31:24):
Yeah, and if she's interested in going to a cancer
survivors group, most oncology programs have some kind of support group,
and you know, a lot of people, I think when
they finish with the treatment, they're like, I really just
don't want to look at this anymore for a while,
and I don't want to be a part of it.
I don't want to be part of the community, and
that makes sense, but it is a very common reality.
But glad to hear that she's on the other side
of it. Congratulations on your part. If confusion is the

(01:31:47):
worst of your woes as a cancer, you know, patient, great,
you know I think you'll take that action.

Speaker 3 (01:31:52):
Sure, of course, I'm sure you will.

Speaker 2 (01:31:54):
Yeah. I don't want to discredit anything that Jim has said.
There's no news yet. As of last year, the McK
rib didn't come back until December third.

Speaker 3 (01:32:04):
Of twenty four.

Speaker 4 (01:32:05):
Okay, okay, so it's probably I mean, history would say
it's probably going to come back in December. So those
of you who heard this and are getting excited, yeah,
you got two months. We'll keep a second correction as well.
In fairness, were we were discussing Kim Jong un earlier,
it's Kim Jong yi.

Speaker 2 (01:32:22):
It's Kim Jong ill.

Speaker 3 (01:32:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:32:23):
Kim Jong yil famously on when he was fifty two
years old. It was his first time playing golf and
he shot a thirty eight under par, including eleven.

Speaker 3 (01:32:34):
Polls in one. Yeah, he was first playing golf in
fifty two. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:32:39):
Well that's the thing.

Speaker 4 (01:32:40):
There is a great I found a great ESPN article
that was written apparently the day that Kim Jong yil died,
and it's just from the point of view of him
being the greatest golfer in the history. Yeah, can you
put that in the group? I'll sit to you, ye please.
The article starts with the greatest golfer in history gone, oh,

(01:33:04):
espn and well done. It's like a two or three
paragraph they it's so perfect, it's so perfect, just dead
fanning it.

Speaker 5 (01:33:12):
The writers if they felt if they were part of
discord to if they feel comfortable adding a picture of
their mom ringing that bell.

Speaker 3 (01:33:19):
Oh, yes, we want to.

Speaker 2 (01:33:20):
That'd be cool.

Speaker 1 (01:33:22):
Well, we're going to take a quick break and when
we come back, we're wrapping up the show. You're listening
to pod Therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:33:28):
Today's episode is brought to you by Jack Schneider and
Leah Richard Macy, Sunny Boy, Thunder Kruger, Scoop, Slurping the Fucker,
Sander Mcwafflebriel Adam Warren and Big Crimes. Would you watch
the sponsor the show become a therapy ser Patreon dot
com slash therapy.

Speaker 1 (01:33:44):
Because we wrap one, want to remind you that you
could sign up a Patreon dot com slash there.

Speaker 2 (01:33:49):
Jim does Oh, sorry, what.

Speaker 3 (01:33:50):
Was I'm getting tight on time? I gotta sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:33:54):
I just thought we were going to get to rule
of thumb at some point.

Speaker 3 (01:33:57):
Yeah, which is the beating the women one?

Speaker 4 (01:33:59):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's you can't. You can't use a
rod larger than the width of your thumb to beat
your wife.

Speaker 1 (01:34:04):
A reasonable standard, A reasonable Yeah. Come on patron dot
COM's Last Therapy. You can get our extended show ad
free a day earlier, as well as enjoy a live
chat discord. Community are weekly deep dives in it well,
sporadic deep dives, interview, skill shares, research, transmisent rants. The
one that we published this week is called forty two.
It's another installment of this discussion about conscious AI, and

(01:34:26):
this one's about how AI might derive a meaning to life?
Is that something it should do?

Speaker 3 (01:34:32):
So it's a little bit.

Speaker 1 (01:34:33):
It's gonna be about Jackie Robi Also about Jackie Robinson.
We've got some new friends that have joined us at
patreon dot com slash therapy.

Speaker 3 (01:34:41):
Who is new to the therap party.

Speaker 2 (01:34:42):
We got a new therapeal Scoop Lindsay Right Welcome and
another new therappal Andrew Carmidell. It is the first episode,
we got a new therap pod. Oh, those are important,
Kyle Sharton, Well, welcome.

Speaker 1 (01:34:58):
It's the first episode of the month, and so we
always like to thank our therapods and our therap dactyls
and producers, and of course we think our producers and
partners every week. But I'm gonna read off our list
of therapods who are still with the program.

Speaker 3 (01:35:08):
We, sir, do love you and appreciate you. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:11):
University, Jeff Robert Paulson, Linda Brandmeyer, Scoopster Not Joseph Bengrazio,
Corey Owens, Christine Phillips, Gavin Bristow, Carrie ter Hart, Ky
we Fruit, Scoop Ticket, EV Podcast, Craig Little, James k
Don Door, Jim Hunter, scoop Atron, Todd Canfield, David Sorens
and Felicia Butler, Saila Bullock, Lauren Is Oh, Katie Chibbikowski,
Adam Patanuzzo, Matt's Lenagren, Lee Popsicle, Scoop itter Is, sending

(01:35:35):
Ian Soto, That Josh, Guy, Mom and Ninja Scoop, James Dawson,
Grumpy Lake Meat Park Ranger, Sarah Olo, Sam Buck, Karen McCulloch, Lila,
Kelly Gagner, Nippy, Brian Emra, Matthew Johnson, Alec Lancaster, Julius Kappell,
j D. Congan, A Literal Pickle, Matthias vander bramt Ken Tinsley,
Flynn Dy, Nailed It Smells Funny, Joel McMillan, Duffy the

(01:35:56):
Amft Therapist, Bear Congratulations, Duffy, Matthew Cubick, Chad Chad the Safety,
Lad Walker, Fluke Almost Doctor Nurse, Joey Kirka Grim, Philip Guiton,
Tim Mystery, Kristin Robbins, Christopher de Gersey, Melissa Lgeisler, Tricia
or Tez, Freie Lawson, d J. Sewart, Mississippi Hippie scott A,
Patty Glad, Anthony Camarada, Fife, Heather w Kyle, David Williams,

(01:36:20):
Williams Nailed It, Kate Polize, Frontastic, Buddy Dobbins, Eric Dyer, Ceronelpillar,
Glitch Scoop, Nathan Mookie, bug Nuts, Stephen Landon, Alita Balaize,
Adam Blaze, John Finlayson, Kenneth Wong, Mysterious, analyd Persephone Hazard,
Kate Phizzle, Dizzle, Robert Cole, Carmen Perry, kJ Mister pothsen Cytium,

(01:36:40):
Temporary Reality, jimmybe Jacob Hurt, Ray, j Shark, Silka Daniels
Recreated What does Scoop Mean? Jacob Billingsley, Alex Jardine, Dylan Collapee,
WOLFEO Five, Chris Courtney Dale, The Kings, Cedar Hayden, Adam
goff Linus Hakkasan, Kevin s Tribe, Livy Terrible, Tay, Grace Any,
Bitty Chicken, Farmer, sam Ka, Matthews, Chill Food, John Calvaratas,

(01:37:04):
Zachary w Fish, Bumfish, Foxy Sally, Zelda Ray, sky Walker,
Cloudy Pies, Hannah, Ammy E Maaya Nailed It, Matthew Connor,
Neck Bubes, Winter Scoop, Andre's Fun Crapper, The Wittle Shitty
Titty Kitty, Ian Johnson, Renee g and Kyle Sharton Hey

(01:37:25):
Third Actyls.

Speaker 5 (01:37:26):
We Have Ice Blue Scoop Brian Lehman, Andrea Anderson, lori Elsroth, Say, Shaunagan, Scoopy, Scoopy,
Jess Jess Okie Scoop, Dank Butta brooks Lyle Adam Ribchick,
Lovely spark Ooh it is just Fine Jim and Manu.
The Offices of Counselor and Counselor Manuel Cavassos, A krusty Quathan,

(01:37:47):
A smug Mochi ice Cream Noramana Code, Mommy Damate, Mike J. Nilsen,
b B hermit A Donna Savage I.

Speaker 1 (01:38:00):
And we'd like to think the benevolent, revered, generous, and
flagrantly pro therapy diehards who love you all so much
they give till it hurts that their partners dirty b
and picket. And we want to thank our bosses, the
mysterious and shrouded Illuminati members of our fan club, that
their producers thank you. Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior Mint,
Smitty Scoop, Richard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia, Leon Cassab,

(01:38:21):
Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Sammy Scoop,
Slipe Kaye, Motherfucker, Ben Stanley, slapping your face, Sarah Smith,
Adam Hathaway, Builer t Mike hal Moskar Swan Rose, Paris
A sunny Boy, Darren Cunningham, Lib Sandra mcwoffle Team Monaco,
Thunder Cougar, Falcon Scoop, Heyo, Hanna, Marie Andrew Lang Mead,
Emma Tonka and Pony Soprano, Alina Cody, Delorian, Guy Brady Malay,

(01:38:45):
Chick Chick, Filatio Gabriela, Dame, Shawn Sutherland, Max the Ginger Scoop,
Chad mag Adam Wren, Inca Le Prince, nailed It, Sam Cone,
and of course be Gay do crimes.

Speaker 2 (01:38:57):
If you would like to hear this episode, I'm cut
and unedited. Wouldn't you enjoy our spontaneous side projects. Go
to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you for
supporting mental health.

Speaker 3 (01:39:05):
That's all the time we got for this week session.

Speaker 4 (01:39:07):
Want to think our landlords, s J and the Ruckus
and thanks to those of you contributed to our show today.

Speaker 3 (01:39:13):
We really appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (01:39:15):
Remember, pot therapy isn't something you should keep all of yourself.
Shared this episode with the world, tag us on the socials.
When you do it's at pot therapy, guys on Instagram,
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don't forget about all the extra goodies at patreon dot
com slash therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:39:31):
Do you want to submit a question to the show,
You can ask anonymously. If pod Therapy talk nuts emails
pod Therapy guys at gmail dot com, or click the
link in the episode subscription.

Speaker 3 (01:39:40):
I'm Nick Tangeman, I'm Jim. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (01:39:42):
We'll see you for the appointments next week.

Speaker 3 (01:39:43):
I'm so excited to read this ESPN article. Oh my god,
this looks glorious.

Speaker 4 (01:39:48):
It's a fifteen second read. Put it up to the
discord because it's it's great fun. I'm so happy that
they did this. Kim Jong is a dictator to great links. Yeah,
oh yeah, yeah, somebody, somebody did a really good job
with that.

Speaker 3 (01:40:05):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (01:40:06):
Goodbye everybody.

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