#405: Therapist's Only Fans, Grieving a Pet, Hugging a Client

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're using two hands though it's worthy. You're coming yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know you're You're feelding a lot of effort in
the back of that burrito, and just like in a
waving motion, you have to tickle tickle the back of

(00:22):
the burrito. Problem fives, Las Vegas, no mata. This is
pod therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists. You
can submit your questions and mountainous say a pot therapy
dot net or email us at pot there because at
gmail dot com. Broadcasting from the s J and the
Ruckus Hoy Pond Studio. That's Jim, That's Whinney. I'm Nick
signed for some pots. Your gold standard is Jack Jacob.

(00:42):
Your gold standard is Chipotle? Nick, what's your gold standard? Golfers?
But you've got to pick something in Las Vegas. You
can't say something outside of the city or the state. Honestly,
I don't hate on Burger King all day. I'll get
a whopper in an original chicken sandwich.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
CHI can say which is used to be good. I
used to love Burger King's fries because they had like.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
That. They would do their fries in before they would
you in the washing potatoes thing. Man a weird hill
to Dian. I'm gonna be honest, this is a different thing.
It's very pigeon whole stance to take.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
No, this is an egg wash. Oh, they're just dumping
it in some egg before they fry. That's all I'm
saying there.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
It's a nice taste. You know a lot about the
way they prepare for You're gonna hate me, but I'm
gonna say, sub.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Boy, I will go to subway road trips. That is
my like road.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
That's a solid road tripping. I mean, you have always
been very fond of children. Yeah, I've always considered you
the Jared of this podcast. You're doing great, I think,
Carl Jr. I'll stick with that. It's a solid fine
with that. Patreon dot com slash therapy if you want
to hear whatever the fuck led to this conversation. Speaking
of Patreon dot com, some fun stuff happened. Yeah, I

(01:50):
have some notes on this too. I'm interested in what
you're gonna say. I have no idea what you're going
to happen. I was going to point out that tell
O tex scoop Port, who Whitney told a story about
last week that she won five or this this person
one five dollars off. Whitney became a therapod to give
the money back to Whitney is now patroning the show
to get the five dollars back in. Yeah, it was

(02:13):
in a weird way. Whitney is finally contributing to the show. Finally,
what were you going to say? I was going to ask,
And maybe Jacob knows this too is probably percussion meeting stuff.
But is there a way in Patreon where you can
do like a one time purchase option. Yes, that's how
we did the horse thing where you name the horse.

(02:34):
I can create an option where there's a thing you
can name the studio. Oh, you want to do a
name the studio store, yep, I can do that absolutely,
So we're putting it in so patroon dot com slash therapy.
There is now an option in the store as of
this recording, when you're hearing it, where you can purchase
naming rights to the studio. Every sale gets you the
next available show episode. We're gonna limit this because if

(02:55):
I just allow infinite, it's gonna get weird fast. Also,
it has to be we can say on radio that's
pretty much anything. Yeah, it's pretty wide we've said some
ship on this show.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
I guarantee on this Oh, here we go, I will
guarantee that I will either say your studio name or
it can be a reasonable substitution that I guarantee you
will be still.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Still, It'll be decent what you wrote. You'll be able
to figure out what was a regal. I'll give you
the spirit, if not the letter. It's gonna be real close.
Patroon dot com slash therapy. I can I can back
that up. Yeah, I can make that happen. And speaking
of which, before we jump into the real show, I

(03:44):
got a lovely message the other day on our episode
that was in the main show. It's titled I don't
remember Something Something Charlie Kirk. You know, because we talked
about what is like as podcasters and content creators to
reflect and I really hope that was the actual name.
Something something something Charlie YadA YadA, Yeah, and the community

(04:06):
really appreciate it. But I got a really sweet message.
I wanted to read it. Oh, this meant the world
to me. It said, Hi, Jim, the latest episode about
Charlie Kirk hit a lot of big things and I
really appreciate, Uh, the space that pod therapy has carved
out for all of us. Thank you, thank you. I'm
really thankful for the podcast, and I've learned a ton.
Eight years is a long time, and the show still
feels fresh and fun. It's a perfect balance of silly, respectful,

(04:30):
boundary pushing compared to other mental health media, I engage
with and loving.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
We're good at that.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I think we're good at that. It's clear that there
is warmth and love for the whole person who asks
a question. I'm still pretty new to the discord, but
it's full of very lovely, smart and kind people. You
folks created something that has drawn them all together. Keep
on trucking and doing what you folks do. It's very
very good. So and Jim that you want to say

(04:55):
back to that person has been there, know in case
you were wondering, Okay, Jim, joke like a very very
poor taste, Jim. Yeah. Well you know what, because I'm
a bad boy, I'm get some fucking nick drops. Christ
you eight years? You what you want? I get it.

(05:18):
There's a lot of nick ship in there in my mouth.
God damn, I no, I get it. I get it.
You know wants what it wants in my mouth said,
it's fine, Jim, you can you can have in my mouth.
You can have any time you want. She's a hot supple.
Nineteen years Oh fuck me. I still need to figure
out where the funk that came from. I have no

(05:40):
memory left into the mic Whenny we've practiced this, she's
just crying. One day, I'm may not be here for recordings.
She doesn't. Matt, that's always here, and I'm always they
have enough content at this point. Yeah, yeah you did quit.

(06:01):
We could still, you can still. I we just have
eight we have eight years of data. Yeah, it'll find
the hidden gem of the pod Therapy discord. The hidden
gem of the pod Therapy discord is the out of
context channel where they just quoted it's just so fucking good.
That's the place to find really weird ship that we

(06:22):
have said without any kind.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
That's weird at the time.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
Right at the time, I feel like it made sense,
especially the nineteen year old.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, I feel like it did. I don't know, I'm
sure it did.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
My memory of that is none of us were saying
anything about anyone's ages.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
You jumped in with like a hot it was a
hot supple. Whiskey of some kind. I'm sure that's a wine.
It was a nineteen year old wine kind of wine.
Full drive, stop it, Whitney, I know you're baiting me.
What you're doing right now, I know what you're up to.
I'm not gonna fall al this whiskey there is. This

(07:01):
is a beautiful areola. I love this whiskey when it's
looking in my eyes. Oh have you seen the taint
on this whiskey? Gorgeous? Oh, I can't believe it's a
therapy show. Eight years long, we've still been going. We
got some great questions for today's show, and the first
question does not disappoint. It is titled I found and

(07:23):
subscribed to my therapists only fans shit because I'm a
bad boy there it is. So it's my only fans exactly.
I knew it so full disclaimer. Sometimes people write into
the show and instead of actually writing their own question,
they'll say, look, I've seen this question online. It's on
Reddit or elsewhere. I need you guys to speak to this,

(07:43):
and so they'll send it in. So I think this
one does come from Reddit. But therapist hasn't only fans
any advice background. This is my third therapist and she
is the first one I've liked. The therapeutic connection is
I'll pet you too. Therapia connection is phenomenal and I
can clearly see progress when I couldn't see it with
the others. I've been with her for two years as

(08:04):
I work on being open and authentic with my autism
my problem. I found out last week that she also
does only fans and yes, I engaged with the material.
It's gonna say concient in the one session that we
have had since I found out, I didn't perceive the
therapeutic relationship differently. I have no personal or moral objections

(08:26):
toward it. However, I found that I was genuinely distracted
by the fact that she didn't know that I knew,
as opposed to being distracted bi sexual feelings toward her.
My main goal, I don't want to be referred to
someone else. I like this therapist. I don't want to
start from scratch again, and my insurance makes finding another
provider to be a difficult process. Questions can you build

(08:47):
insurance for the only fans fee? I mean, honestly, very therapist,
and I feel like that should count. Questions should I
mention to her that I know just so that I
can be able to focus in therapy. My goal is
to make a therapeutic disclosure, not to try to pry
into her personal life. If I don't say anything, I'm
sure that this will be less distracting over time. Should

(09:09):
I mention that I engage with her material. My goal
is to be honest and not to harass her. I
don't have any issues with her as my therapist, and
I can separate her as a therapist and as a
content creator. She might have issues with me as a client.
Her OnlyFans isn't explicitly banned by the State Board. However,
it might constitute a quote dual relationship disclaimer. Yes, I

(09:33):
understand that engaging with her material was likely appropriate inappropriate.
It only happened once, and I have made a conscious
decision to avoid her stuff since then. Thanks Anonymous. Wow,
I like it clarifying question. And I know you guys
are gonna give me shit for this and not believe me.

(09:54):
But I really don't know much about only what you're
using name. Yeah. Yeah, but but it's not only like
sexual explicit cont It doesn't have to be. There's actually
podcasters that just pay wall, so it's it's it's Patreon.
It's essentially just Patreon. It's just a Patreon that is

(10:15):
way more associated with sex content than anything else. There
have been a few, a few tries over the years.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
I think they even talked to us over at ice
Cream Social requiring us to to start using only fans
as a platform several years ago, because they tried to
make a push to do like stand up comedy on
their diversify yeah, and I don't think it. I think
it worked as well as twitches push, yeah, to diversify
out from just video game content, which is like it

(10:45):
opened up a little bit and there were a few
things here and there.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
You have anche games, they're mainly video games.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Fans are mainly uh, you know, amateur pornography or I
guess not even amateur, semi pro exactly or sometimes very
pro triple aprography, triple A gold standard. But yeah, I
do you guys know anyone that has only fans of.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
People, non clients? Oh Whitney, do you still did you
close that one? I haven't got any and I still subscribe,
which I'm kind of fucking pissed about, Like Jesus card
every month. It's weird. There's no fucking up.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
Let me.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
I'm just you know, in good faith, I'm just waiting. No,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Any like civilians. I have several friends that have only fans. Okay,
I know I know quite a few people that have them.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Would you engage with their mater?

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Does it feel too intimate? Does it feel like different
than a burlesque friend? It's like attending their show? Exactly?

Speaker 2 (11:44):
I have never Uh, I'm actually with Nick on this one.
I've never I've never done the whole only fans thing.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Weird high ground.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Why, I'll tell you exactly why, Because I have, uh, like,
our friend has sent me their only fans page and
then like what do you what do you think of this?
Because they were trying to do like content creation everything,
and it's pictures of me on there and I'm naked
and whatever. You've seen me naked before, here's here's this stuff.
And when I tried to look at her page, like

(12:15):
with her passwords stuff, I wasn't able to figure out
how to log into it, and have never gone back.
And I kind of ran into a roadblock one time
and then never went back and checked again. As it
turns out, if you want to see naked people online
and here out.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Okay, there are options, kind of options, a lot of options,
expensive options every more than stop it. They're not just
giving that away, come on, But yeah, it would I
think it would be odd.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
I suppose a bit odd. I think I would feel
odd if I were looking at my friends only fans pages.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
It feels if they're if they're on stage, like and
I realized, we're Vegas is weird compared to a lot
of other cities. In Vegas, we have a lot of
friends that just dance bur lesque, and like, yep, they
are up there, they are stripping down. They are funny
and sexy, and that's part of the shtick. And like
you're you're expected as a friend to like hoot and

(13:25):
holler and make noise and it's fun. And you're sitting
right next to their spouse the whole time. Like it's
great fun. Everybody's cool with it because it's not intimate.
It's not meant for you. It's meant for everybody, and
this is their performance art, whereas only fans. In one sense,
it's like meant for everybody. It's a broadcast that's like
you know, broad but at the same time, like I
don't know. It feels more dialed in, it feels more intimate,

(13:47):
like it's supposed to be a little anonymous, right, it's
it's not something taking out of it, right, feels like
you're doing it wrong a little bit. Yeah to me. Yeah,
there's no set rule on this.

Speaker 5 (14:00):
Jim as a therapist with an only fan. So someone
came in and admitted, Hey, I've been engaging with your
not your question.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
I thought you were gonna ask Jim. Yeah, I thought
you were gonna ask Jim. So Jim as a therapist
with patients who have only fans. Yeah, also relevant.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, I went the truth route, the legit route.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
No, Like, I don't know, would you want a client
to tell you that, like, hey, I saw you, I
saw your dick pics.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
So the closest thing I have to that is pot therapy, right,
And and like over the years, that has been one
of the greatest like causes of my anxiety in life
is all patients that tell me, like BT dubs on
this show, you are emotionally naked. Yes, yeah, that that's
a great point. And also hung, I feel like emotionally hung,

(14:49):
you know, like, and the stamina is really strong because
I'm a bad boy there. It is emotionally longer than
eight nine inches. I mean just like emotionally you know,
like whatever that is metaphorically hung like a moose. No,
but like that's that is one of the scariest things ever, right,
And Like one of the things that I've had to
do in life is when a patient has told me like, hey,
I listen to the show, or they find me through

(15:11):
the show, like they start off as a patron, but
then they happen to live in Nevada and they're like, hey,
you are a practitioner here, I'm looking for help. Right now,
I clearly already know who you are. I enjoy your
professional work. Let's why I listen to your show. I
choose you as my therapist, then I should have that autonomy, right,
And I'm like, no, absolutely, that's fine. But immediately as

(15:32):
soon as I'm aware, yeah, I very quickly like lay
down a lot of rules where I'm like, first off,
you are allowed and encouraged to stop subscribing to the show.
You are disallowed from increasing your giving, Like I can't
allow that. Like I would be very uncomfortable with that
because then I would feel somehow that I'm exploiting you,

(15:53):
So please do not. But if you choose to back out,
I hope you do, and I would encourage you while
we're working on like really important stuff that's about you
that you really just discontinue, you know, the show, Like
I think that'd be for the best because I don't
want anything I say on the show to accidentally be
misinterpreted as if I was thinking of you when I
said that answer. I wasn't. I am thinking of the
thousands and thousands of people who write another show, Like

(16:14):
I promise you, I'm not thinking of you. Yeah, and
so's it's way too complex. So I don't As a
content creator, I don't like that. And in my informed consents,
I have layers and layers of language. That's like Jim
has an Internet personality. I am on TV, sometimes I'm
on radio. Sometimes I have a lot of content I create.
You're if you're really seeking me as a healthcare professional,
please understand it is strongly discouraged that you participate in

(16:36):
anything that I create is not meant for you. You
agree not to do that, right, and if you do,
you assume all risk. So, like my answer is, and
I'm not even like showing my butthole, you know, not
not for free. There's a Patreon level. There are partners
get that. You know, they don't ask for it, but
it's in the package.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
I don't ask for it.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, so we send it to them. I would say,
you'd name the studio for an episode and see Jim's butthole.
There's a number. Yeah, there's absolutely a number door. Yeah, yeah,
it's both. Yeah. Also, everybody that tried to name the
horse for five bucks also got a picture of my botole.
So I'm trying to make sure it's sweeping the deal.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Here, but it really is.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
But yeah, no, super super uncomfortable and like really protective
because I worry about the patient, right and I feel
like if I was the therapist in the situation, it's
but also I feel less, like, Okay, I worry all
the time about pod therapy, but I can justify it
in my mind because you're meeting therapist Jim in pod therapy.

(17:35):
You're not meeting Jim who is interesting for any other reason.
You're meeting a like the most care free version of
therapist Jim. But I'm answering three real questions from a
therapist's brain every single show and then you're also getting
to listen to me hanging out with my friends. That's
the majority of it. Only fans is a very different
version of the therapist. There's nothing about that that is

(17:57):
the professional version of you. Yeah, and to me, that
is a very different form of content to create. And
I don't know, maybe I'm caveman about that, but like
what therapist is just doing a full on Freudian study
they're always pretending to. She just asks you to describe
your mom and then she impersonates your mom at the end,

(18:19):
she did right before she cuts off the camera.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
She's like, sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
That called sextra? What are your thoughts on this? I mean, obviously,
as a female therapist who's dealt with men, no shortage
of female therapists have have had the story where and
in all therapists I think have had the story where
there's transference and there's an issue with that. But female
therapists a lot, you know, because a lot of men
are not used to feeling cared for, and like, you
get this very nurturing feminine relationship that meets a lot

(18:47):
of your needs and you're confiding this person it's very
easy to already sexualize that, and a lot of female
therapists share with me that, like they have to intentionally
make sure that they leave no clues towards that they
steer away from that. How do you feel about a colleague,
a female therapist out there creating OnlyFans content? Do you
feel like she's naive to do that?

Speaker 5 (19:08):
I know my first reaction, like, honestly, was I don't
know that that's a great idea. I feel like you're
really you're starting to blur some ethical lines there, and
hate I hate that I think that way because deep
down I'm like, well, no, she should be able to
do whatever she wants, like she's a human outside of therapy,

(19:31):
and so I like that, But I don't know if
there's a world where, like, what's the goal with only fans?
The goal with only fans, I imagine is Okay, maybe
I'm wrong here, Maybe she just loves the like feeling
she gets from like that experience. Okay, But I imagine

(19:52):
most people start only fans for like maybe monetary reasons
or like they're wanting to gain something from it. You
bring up a good point, Jim, like, if this person
is giving money to me for something else I'm doing,
and then they're coming into session and like feeling that
they want to now.

Speaker 3 (20:14):
Get in my good.

Speaker 5 (20:14):
Graces or like it becomes like a weird thing, a
different dynamic.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
Yeah, there's a lot wrong with that.

Speaker 5 (20:21):
You can't really have a great therapeutic relationship. Then what
the writer is saying, which I think is really interesting,
is I hear them saying I do feel like I
can separate that. Maybe it's the neurodivergence I think.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Maybe they say they're autistic.

Speaker 5 (20:38):
Yeah, like I think there's a different way your brain
works there, So maybe that's something you can easily separate.
So for this writer, maybe that's fine. Do you tell
the therapist, Oh that's an interesting question. My instinct says no,
just don't tell them.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Just leave it out.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
Just leave it out.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
If you're actually cutting off, yes, watching it exactlygally doesn't
matter to you.

Speaker 5 (21:01):
If it doesn't, you're cutting it off, and you're right, writer,
it will probably dissipate that weird like kind of anxiety
or feeling like, oh, I know this secret and I'm
not telling my therapist because part of therapy is being
open and vulnerable with your therapist.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
But you're keeping something from them, then.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Most of your life is not told to your therapist, agreed, Like,
even if you're being completely open and honest, you know,
you're just not going to get around to telling your therapist.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
About most things. And that's just like, so this is
just something on that list.

Speaker 5 (21:26):
Something you got off to one time, and it happened
to be your therapist. If you're really able to to
not go back, not engage and say all right, that
was like not okay, maybe for the moment, I'm going
to put that aside and just continue this rapport with
my therapist, my clinician. I think that's important, especially if
it's difficult for you to find a new person. You

(21:46):
said that insurance makes it tough where you live, and
just the connection can be tough to find somebody really connect.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
With as uh as that therapist.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
I think it's a good point because like if it
doesn't if you the patient are saying it doesn't matter,
Like I've had who I've worked with for a really
long time and then eventually they've told me, hey man,
I've never told you this, but I've always known about
your podcast, like I've always listened to your podcast. In fact,
that's how I found you. I am always outside of
your home right, and I've listened to enough that I

(22:17):
even knew that you probably would be distracted if I
told you, and I've always been listening, and like, to me,
it's not a big deal. I choose you as my therapist,
and I can separate these different realities of you, and like, okay,
like as a therapist, I'm good with that. I prefer
you keep that to yourself, right, That works better for me.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
It's also that's a harder ask on your end, though,
if you're if you're having that conversation with with a
patient at the beginning of your relationship. It's the easy
way and probably the correct way is what you is,
what you already said. You know you if you want
to drop your support, your patriot support, I prefer I
would love it if you dropped that support while we're while.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
We're engaged here.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
You know, if if you want to stop listening, I'd
be all for that as well. You know, all of
the stuff you already said. The harder one is, please
make sure to keep these things separate in your own.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Mind, which is why I.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Don't want to be later on, and it says like, hey,
here's what I did, right, I kept them separate in
my in my mind, and it worked out well. Right,
you go like, okay, we won. Then we've forgot We
got the result we wanted, and that's good. But boy,
I'm glad I didn't know about this earlier. Well, and
there's a lot of therapists that have side hustles. The
only fans one is a logical extreme, right, we're taking

(23:35):
that pretty far, but like so this ones are the
same thing with like elementary school teachers having only fans. Yeah,
that's something that pops up every so often.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
It comes up, and there there's an interesting reality, like
you'll have therapists that are a therapists there there, you'll
have therapists that are also real estate agents. You'll have
therapists that are also personal trainers. You'll you'll have therapists
that have other roles in the world. And I think
the Ethical Guides just strongly discouraged this, as the letter
referenced against dual relationships. Pick a lane, stay in that lane.

(24:03):
But the problem is in the internet age, like as
a real estate agent, you could call me and be like, oh, Jim,
by the way, I'm about to sell my house. I'd
like to work with you. I want that money to
go through your family, and I would decline, right, I'd
be like, oh, you know what, I yes, I also
do real estate or my spouse's real estate. We absolutely
ethically cannot accept your business. I'll recommend you to a friend.
Whereas when you create internet content, you don't get.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
To there's no control on that.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yeah, you don't get to gatekeep and be like I
get to choose who access is this? They all can Yeah,
And that's really a fascinating reality. I mean, I've you know,
I can say this, I think at this point because
I've been to so many I have been to a
scoop fest where a patient of mine is present, right,
and like they've you know, you could chicken or egg.
Did they find me through that or did I find

(24:45):
Did they find me? And then eventually come to that
because they found the pod and get involved. But that's
a very interesting dilemma for me because now I'm silly
Internet Jim who's up here doing trivia, and it has
a very different assignment in this role, like I am
one of the hosts of this event. My my friends
run this event. I am part of the talent people
that are supposed to be here to entertain, and I'm

(25:06):
and I try to right, I'm up here dancing with
the glowstick, you know, at the fucking uh you know,
band performance to get the blood pumping right, Like that's
part of the job. Like I want this to be
fun for everybody. And yet at the same time, I'm
aware that there's a patient somewhere in this building that
sees me, and then I might talk to them next
week about their suicidal ideation or whatever. It is a
fascinating challenge to be in. I cannot imagine how much

(25:28):
harder that would be if, like they were watching videos
of me jerking off, you know, like that that is
which you can patroon dot com slash therapy. There's there's
a number for that. So Nick, you're oddly silent about this,
and I just think.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
It's like I'm uncomfortable waiting to figure.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Out which way the wind's blowing on this is, like
so are we For well, as you've been talking, I've
been doing a little research and checking the people in
this room to see how many out of three of
you have only fans. And it's not zero, it's not zero.
It's it's not zero. We'll leave it there, but it's
not zero. No, I agree with Whitney. I think a no,

(26:03):
you do not tell your therapist this, and if it's
not a problem, then it's not a problem. Your therapist
does not need to know this, and you should definitely
stay away from it. Uh, definitely don't go back. But
here's the follow up question though, is when does it
become problematic?

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Yes, so that's was my only follow up.

Speaker 5 (26:22):
Like, if you find over time it's not dissipating, like
some kind of weird feeling you're having your thinking about
it in session every time, that's a little bit of
a different compare.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
To say that when you start seeing your therapist as
a sexual object that maybe then that's probably time.

Speaker 5 (26:39):
I think the client's are already probably doing that, So what
does it matter if.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
They actually like.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
What's going on, but not like all of the guys
at Chick on our podcast, like I don't know whatever.
So at what point does therapy become ineffective for the writer?

Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (27:00):
You know, like if it really starts impacting your ability
to when you walk into that room to just focus
on yourself and not be focused on your therapist, that's
a good distraction question.

Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah, well, I think the question to should you tell
your therapist can be answered with if there is another
reason other than to just get that information out there?

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yeah, yeah, I don't see it.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
So then we can have that conversation about whether you
need whether you should tell With the reasoning that you've provided,
it doesn't seem like the instances is that.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
You should tell them.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
So if it's just like I feel a little squeamish
that I've seen this and want to tell you about it,
that's that's probably not the perfect reason to do so.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
But if it is getting in the way of your case,
if it's getting in the way, that's a different thing. Yeah,
if you feel you need to talk about it because
it's become an obstacle to care, then unfortunately, and I
know you didn't intend for this, writer, but like you've
created a situation that we do need to question whether
this is the right relationship for you. And there's a
lot of like podcasting is one. Like recently I recorded
a YouTube video in response to Charlie Kirk that was

(28:07):
like just a breakdown of an FBI report that was
like a letter to therapist, Hey, therapist, here's what the
FBI taught us about how to catch political assassins and
redirect them to help. Great. It was very dishwater, very bland,
that accidentally blew up, and so it went out to
a therapist friend of mine who I guess runs in
right hand circles, and Nick, you know this guy, he's

(28:27):
very very alt right, and so he text me and
he goes, hey, man, I tweeted this and tagged like
Charlie Kirk people like people in the that that organization.
They fucking grabbed it and they ran with it. So
heads up, you're about to get a shitload of views
on this video. And that obviously was not your intention,
like you wrote it for therapists, but like it just
got sucked into the alt right, like you know, vortex,

(28:50):
and so then all of.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
A sudden it got sucked in. It's not I put
it in. It got sucked in.

Speaker 4 (28:59):
Writing it.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
He didn't into like tag Charlie Kirk.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
I was just going for a walk laptop, and so
like he got sucked into that vortex, and I got
tons of comments and like all of a sudden, the
right was very much celebrating me, and they were like,
this is what we're talking about this is a good therapist.
It's a good guy. You know, he gets it. And
I'm thinking, like, oh boy, I hope you guys never
listen to the podcast, like that would be terrible. But like,

(29:24):
I can't see when you're a content creator and there's
a lot of therapists out there that are very political,
and they're they're like out there fighting some kind of
you know, important battle about ideas. I can see where
a patient goes and finds that and then realizes, hey,
that was super distasteful. I disliked that I discovered where
you stand on this issue. This now interferes my ability
to listen to as my therapist and to work together.

(29:45):
And I think if that happens, that's unfortunate. There's a
part of me that wants you to talk about it
with your therapist, But there's a part of me that says, no,
you've you've gone into their life. You've found another part
of your therapist that they can they don't have to
excuse or they don't have to apologize for. You've realized
that's now incongruent with where you stand. That is your distraction.
It's time for you to do the hard work of

(30:06):
going and finding another therapist and next time be happy
with the therapeutically, think it has to jump to that,
though dude did not find this, only fans by accident.
They were out there. I agree with that. I agree
with that.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
I'm saying I don't think it has to jump to
you must then find another therapy.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
If it's enough of a distraction that you feel like
you need to bring it up in therapy because it's therapeutic.
At that point, I kind of look at it and go,
you know, what do.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
You think bring Do you think find another therapist before
talking to the therapist about it.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
I think try really hard to just focus on therapy. Sure,
and if that can't happen because you are so distracted
that you've seen my butthole, you went and found that,
and I'm sorry that you did. There's a lot of
good questions about whether I should be posting a butthole.
That's fine, but you did go out and find that.
That's a distraction to you. I don't know that we
need to bring it in here. I think its time
for you to go find somebody else.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
But I think you do bring it up. If you're
going to choose to leave those then you do tell
the therapist You're like.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Well, actually, it's a good point, yeah, because I would
like to know, like if all of my patie that
I think are getting better and they discontinue therapy and
I don't hear from them because I think they're doing better,
if they all to a person kept finding pod therapy
and they're like, that was so disheartening. That's not who
I thought you were. I'm so discouraged I couldn't see
you anymore. Yeah, as a therapist, I definitely want to
know that, because I didn't sign up for this career
to do harm.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
By the way, if you ever want to just get
Jim out of his career, if you get all of
his patients together and just have him leave his service
and say it's because of pod therapy, he will stop
everything tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Oh yeah, they don't want that.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Just pot therapy suspiciously will occur if those actions were
taken suspiciously. I have and this is what's weird. Over
eight years, I have never had a patient tell me
I did I just I did not like pod therapy.

(31:52):
There was something you said in there that was hurtful,
and that's become a barrier. Would quote the show in
ways that I wish they would not, but they were
laughing about it. Like I had one that was like,
my my therapist the other day was telling me that
he tried to deep throat a bag yet and like
I'm like, yeah, no, I did say that. That was
Oh my god, are you okay? And they're like no,
I think it's fucking hilarious and we're great, Like that's
I I know what I signed up for. Jim, like,

(32:13):
I'm good with this. There's plenty of therapists that have
no sense of humor. I could go find them if
I wanted. I like, what this is? Right? But I've
over eight years really never had anybody say that they
left because of that. But that still terrifies me because
I think that somebody did.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
But the overall arching idea is your therapy is supposed
to be about you.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
It's about me. Yeah, but knowing who I am obviously
plays a role in that. Like there's people like we
write our bios on our websites because it's like, hey,
your background does matter to me, Like knowing you'd relate
to my humanity is important to me. Something that differentious robots.
So Nick, you're on team yes, OnlyFans. No, I think,
he said, I'm still thinking about culvers. But I feel

(32:52):
like we ruined you by explaining what only fans is.
I feel like we may have just jeopardized your relationship.
Is in his computer now for like five solid minutes
saying a word and like like butters, discovering that oh.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
My god, my po By next week, one of Nick's
arms is gonna be super muscular.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
I'm broke. The down payment on this house fell through, guys, No,
I think, I think definitely do not tell your therapist.
H If it becomes problematic and it keeps you from progress,
go ahead and tell your therapist and then be prepared
to find a new therapist, because that's why it's gonna happen.
And if you're a therapist, I do not encourage you
to create that kind of content. Like, the only way

(33:36):
I can justify high Internet presence is that this is
adjacent to the entire profession that I do, and I
consider it within the long history of you know, very
prominent psychologists who were doing public demonstrations of therapy, which
all the great you know writers and theorists did and
even recorded it and demonstrated their skills and like, I

(33:57):
consider it adjacent to my work, and I take some
creative licenses comedic risk, but I still consider it within
the ballpark of what I do. But if I was
out there just showing up my buttthole and there was
no therapeutic value to that, but okay, therapeutic butthole showing,
I feel like there's value to that. So as long
as I could justify it, well, that's called starfish treatment.
We're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
we're talking about grieving a pet. You're listening to pod therapy.

(34:21):
Today's episode is brought to you by Judie Schneider, Beon
Caroylyn Albert, Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, My Count, Darren Cunningham,
Cody the Delran, Guy Bilch, Max the Ginger, Scoop and
eli Odare. If you like, sponsor the show, become a
therapy Patreon dot com slash therapy. All right, I'll be honest.
I didn't have a whole lot of time for trivia.
So what is the U r L for my favorite

(34:46):
nants content?

Speaker 5 (34:47):
Creator's just list your favorite content.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
I'm gonna name a country. Uh, then we'll go and
order first one that names a country that does not
border this country. God damn, it is out of the game.
Jim gets two guesses, thank you, all right, thanks, and
hints right sure. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
The great part about this thing is that Nick is
actually pretty good at geography, so he loves asking geography
questions because Nick or Jim is terrible at geography.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Whitney and I, I think you are the national average
of people who just know.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Where are Yeah, I know a general area where.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Most of the weird gap between you and I on
skill of geography it is. It is broad other thing.
Howlet you were closer on golf knowledge than we are.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
We are are fewer golf rules than there are countries.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
That's right. Yeah, there's ways I can get this right.
All right, Whitney, We're gonna start with you. Austria, just
the name anything that borders it, yes, ship Now we're
like in World War two because that changed. Now? Oh fuck,
good question, that's relevant. Thank you. I'll give you a
point for that. All right, here we go. Let's go.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
Borders Austria.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Ah, so people that speak Australian.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
No, that's right.

Speaker 4 (36:21):
Switzerland yes, wow, Oh I have to go to Jacob.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
We did Germany's aid Germany. Oh ship? Was that right? Also?
Oh ship, here's your here's your Your hint is this
is not Australia. That's important? Actually, thank you. Okay, it's
on the board. Germany's off the board. Uh, Australia. Germany.

(36:49):
There was like a big war, so France can be France.
It's probably on the other side. Strike one. You get
a point for that one. I get to that's right,
I get to. Okay, Yeah, so no France World War two? Jim,
come on, So Germany goes through Austria to Britain.

Speaker 5 (37:06):
No, Jim, what were the other boarding? Because I had
another guess?

Speaker 1 (37:11):
But I know we're still going, so there's more. Should
I think I only have one more guests? I hope
we needed to take it off the board. No, say
what you say? That was my guess. That's a solid guest.

(37:31):
Here we go. Let's see Austria. I know one.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Give Jim this please is hungry?

Speaker 1 (37:41):
That I was going to say was taken. That's a validation. Good,
good for you, bud. Do I get to keep going
or we out of countries? Now we're there's more. There's more,
but he won because you you both lost.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Yeah, okay, you had already lost.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Should we keep going?

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Aren't really excited about that hungry thing? Though? Good job?
Is that the only one for the rounder? Yeah? Okay, yeah,
let's just move on, Let's leave it. I recognized the
quality of this bit. Hello, pod Therapy, I wanted to
get your input about what you recommend for clients who

(38:23):
are grieving for lost pets. Today, my wife and I
said goodbye to our precious baby cat, Minky, after a
battle with a difficult illness that had about a coin
flip chance of going into remission. It was a hard
decision to stop trying to treat his illness, but we
know we did the right thing after we gave the
available treatment options a fair shot. He was only seven,

(38:45):
so we were unprepared for losing him at such a
young age. We don't have children, so our pets get
a lot of our emotional energy. It's been a really
hard week of letting Minky go at the end of
a pretty hard couple of months trying to care for
him and hope he could respond to treatment. We're both
very upset. I feel better this afternoon than I did

(39:05):
this morning or yesterday while we were waiting for his
last appointment, but I still well up with tears at
random things that make me think of him. This is
probably the worst emotional thing that I've ever gone through.
I've not lost any close family before, and while my
family has lost pets before, that was when I was
younger and did not have a connection with the pets

(39:26):
like I had with Minky. Of our two cats, Minky
was my precious baby cat that was bonded especially to me.
We adopted Minky right after I finished college. Minky was
the first cat I picked out without any help choosing.
He and our other cat were both the first pets
that my wife and I were solely responsible for. When
we adopted our cats, I knew we would say goodbye

(39:48):
one day, but I always thought it would be when
they're like fifteen to twenty years old after a long life.
Minky wasn't even middle aged for a cat. I also
thought that I would feel sad, but not as deeply
sad as I do now. Because he was just a
little cat. I underestimated how much I would come to
love this cat and the big impact he would make

(40:10):
on me. I loved Minky so much and now he's gone.
What would you recommend to a client who's grieving, particularly
a pet. I typed out some of my feelings yesterday
and today we printed a silly amount of photos and
made a scrap book for him. I wrote about how
we adopted him and what we loved about him in
the book so we would always remember his story. We

(40:32):
texted with some close friends and family members about what
was happening and looked at photos together. I don't know
what else I can do. Is it a time thing?
I bet it's a time thing. If it's just the
time thing, how do we people? How do people cope
with waiting for it to get better? Also? Do you
have any ideas on anything? Do you have any Do

(40:54):
you have anything on uncoupling? Calendar dates? We had to
let Minky go today October second, and our wedding anniversary
is tomorrow. Am I always going to think, all right, wife,
let's be romantic today the day after the anniversary of
Minky's passing. I expect tomorrow isn't going to be exactly
joyous and care free, but will every year be that way?

(41:17):
I wouldn't use that phrasing when you're trying to seduce
your wife on your edge, trying not to say that
in the card. Yeah, yeah, let's get romantic the day after.
I'll see what you're getting at. But I'd use a
different phrase. That's an internal thing. I've been sending photos
of my baby cat to people today to talk about him,
so I attached some photos so that you can meet
Minky too. I've never met a cat with as much

(41:38):
personality as Minky. I was lucky enough to save a
video of him meowing. He loved giving me a daily
report about what he saw out the window. He knew
how to meow in response to his name or us
talking to him. He was a beautiful, brave, strong, intelligent
little man who knew all the fastest ways to push
our buttons. He was a loving troublemaker. We love and

(41:58):
miss him so much. For listeners, Minky was a black
cat with a with black everything lips, nose, topads, whiskers,
et cetera. Even his claws were dark. His coat was
always shimmery and sleek. He had piercing, knowing green eyes
that could look yellow depending on the light. We adopted
him as a shelter mutt, but I suspect that one

(42:20):
of his parents was an American Bombay or something really close.
He matched most of the average physical markers and personality
traits for a Pombey, as well as my amateur googling
could tell. Sincerely Matt from Arlington's Yeah, sorry for your loss.
I had. I had to make that same decision a
few months ago with my mother. Yeah, yeah, put her down.

(42:43):
Yeah she she broke a leg and wasn't able to
run anymore. Yeah, you could tell.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
You can tell that the joy yeah left and so yeah,
I had to had old yellow hair.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Ironically, also also an American bombay yea yeah, yes, yes, yeah,
I don't know if it's ironic but coincidence. And also
completely black, which is interesting. We don't talk about it
all those things, those green eyes. Yeah, so I hope
that helps. Yeah, thanks a lot. Writer, No, I mean,

(43:20):
in all seriousness, writer, I mean we've we actually had
an episode of the show recently where somebody's writing in
about their spouse having cancer and their cat or their
dog actually having cancer and just how serious that is.
And I think we we were very quick to validate
that human you know, and what they're going through and
and how serious these relationships are. And you know, like
obviously in the past couple of years, I had to
put down my long time pet, and yeah, we got it.

(43:44):
Just yeah, that's right. Yeah, thank you for correcting me
as I wrote it in my book Dad Vice, which
did reference having to versus getting two with that dog.
But no, it is. It is just a devastating reality.
And you know I can tell from your letter obviously
you loved your cat deeply. I mean, you everything you
possibly could. And it's just so tough because, like I think,
and this is I think a broader question just putting

(44:06):
a pet down, but like the anniversaries of tragedies being
located against the anniversaries of other important things, and like
how long that endures? And I think the writer's sort
of saying, like I sort of anticipate time is going
to be a part of this. There's a half life
to pain. But I think that that's like a really
important pot yea as well. I think over time, those

(44:26):
you know, October second becomes a different date than October third, right,
you know, I I those will become separate over time.
But the other thing, too is to not always in
your mind put them together, like stop reinforcing the connection, right, yeah,
as best you can. Sometimes that's difficult to do. But

(44:48):
like you know, I September eleventh for me is always
like when September tenth happened or comes around, it's like, oh,
tomorrow is the anniversary of you know, just because it
was such a huge thing. Yeah, this thing happened. It's yeah, yeah,

(45:09):
irrelevant with those comedians going to do that festival. Yeah, okay, yeah,
I hope you have a lot of money. But I
think it's like over time, I think those are just separate.
Your your anniversary is still going to be special to right.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think that. I don't know.

Speaker 5 (45:28):
Yeah, I guess this is something that I feel like
most people have a harder time doing. But in my life,
I don't necessarily feel super tied to celebrating or memorializing
things like on the date. Okay, so for example, like anniversary, like, well,

(45:48):
you already know how I feel like.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
When Peter Yeah yeah, you already know how I feel
about Peter.

Speaker 5 (45:52):
But but when we have to celebrate the anniversary.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
When he reminds me.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
That weeks in advance, sure, I remember.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
I just go to this nice restaurant and I'm like,
this is so nice your dress up, I got a gift,
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
The day is as strong a persona, as Whitney puts
on with this, the day that she has to put
Peter down is going.

Speaker 4 (46:13):
To be is not doing well anymore.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
I mean that the joy of that has left him.
I don't want to see her Google search results as
I just I know what's in there. Jesus. That's usually.

Speaker 3 (46:30):
He's using the bathroom everywhere.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Jesus Christ everywhere. Oh my god. I mean, honestly, that's
a strong argument.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
You were saying about memorializing dates.

Speaker 5 (46:45):
Yeah, and in full transparency, I don't feel like I've
had a whole lot of loss in my life, which
I'm thankful for, but I think it puts me at
a disadvantage when trying to, like comment on how to
memorialize certain days. But for the celebrate celebratory ones, I'm
the type I'm like, well, you know, I I want

(47:08):
to do a Christmas trip. Why does it have to
be on Christmas when everything's expensive? Can we go like,
you know, January fifth? Yeahodox Christmas great, or like two
weeks earlier, Like I just I don't care about being
on the date, and I realize over time, I think
I am more alone on that than most people I
think a lot of people like to you know, they are, yes.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
I think the thing that where time makes a difference
or why that's impactful. And we've used this analogy before
and it's not ours. We've stolen it from actually a comic,
but like grief being represented as this large ball inside
this small room, right and I'm sorry that there's a

(47:53):
button on the wall, which is like you're feeling. So
when the ball presses up against this button, that's when
you feel that grief. Over time, the ball gets smaller
and smaller, but still every once in a while it's
going to hit that button. Yeah, And so you just
have to anticipate that. Right now, everything is going to
remind you of your cat, and that's going to be
very difficult. But then over time it's not. It's gonna

(48:16):
you know, you're going to be able to heal and
move on. But I do like some of the things
that you're already doing, like you're you know, kind of
creating something to memorialize or kind of have some sort
of ritual or memorial or something. I found that that
was helpful for me. Like I I so, my my
chihuahua was Pumpkin and we had pumpkin, my son's entire life,

(48:37):
and our dog passed away like thirteen years in which
is still relatively young Forchuala, they can go a lot longer.
But she had a lot of illnesses and it was
really you know, difficult, and we watched her decline for
years and we did all the healthcare and kind of,
like the writer that was, that was gratifying, you know,
because like early in my process, the doctors were like, hey,

(49:00):
do you do you want to explore the options you
know where we kind of bring her to a gentle end,
and you know, I was for me personally, I wouldn't
judge anybody who chose differently, but for me personally, I
was like, well, no, like I'm I'm comfortable using finances
to get as many good days as I can with her,
and when we've gotten to our last good days, then

(49:22):
I will not selfishly keep her, you know, like at
that point, I don't want to watch her suffer. I
don't want her to suffer, but let's get as many
good days as we can, you know, as a family.
And so we kept her alive with healthcare treatment for
probably about a year and a half, you know, longer
because of that option, and like we memorialized her in
some ways, and we had a really special service where

(49:43):
they came and they did the whole procedure at our home,
which is very meaningful. They let us choose something to
read and so we wrote what we wanted to say.
The kids got to say goodbye. They did a paw
print into like a clay mold, and that was really
special for us because like that was you know, which
is your dog? It was it was my paw, Yeah,
and I just I just wanted to have a little
hand for it. Made a turkey out of it. It

(50:05):
was really nice. That was also very soothing. Yeah, they
could definitely tell that that's what I needed. No, but
like we saved some of these like paw prints, and
like we saved her favorite toy, and you know, like
I still have those things. I have the mommy bookshelf
at home, and you know, from time to time I
re visit them. It's been several years now, writer, and

(50:25):
it does get better with time. And you know, like
even though my dog was like a child to me,
it mattered to me so much. I'm reminded that there
are people that lose spouses. You know, there are people
that lose the closest people in their life, as people
lose parents, and it's never easy. But with time they
do heal and and they do go through the grieving process,

(50:46):
and over time, I'm sure they never forget the anniversary,
but the emotional power of that moment is not what
it once was. And then that's true for me now
about the grieving of my pet, Like, I'm very aware
of when this happened, but it's not the thing I
think about it anymore in that month. And I don't
like using the phrase moved on. I like to just

(51:06):
reflect that we have we have grieved, and we have healed,
and that's it, you.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
Know, like it's just a new changing part, that's it.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Yeah, Like I don't. I don't like the language of
moving on. I just I don't. I think that used
to care and now you don't. Okay, Yeah, that's how
I like to phrase out.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
I feel like that.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Why is there a cat toy in my house?

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah? Yeah, so no, But like writer, I guess my
encouragement to you is that honoring the pain now, you know,
but in twelve months, when you get back to October again,
I'll bet you feel like you remember, there will be
an anniversary power to it. But I also think that
the sting will not be as powerful. The units of
subjective suffering will be less, and you'll be very mindful

(51:49):
of your anniversary, and I think that'll be very much
on your mind. Yeah, you know, that'll be more on
your mind. And then the next I agree with you.

Speaker 5 (51:55):
I think what Nick said where the days will feel
more separate over time. Right now they're so close together,
but I think with time they'll feel a little more
like this is the second and this is the third.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
I honestly don't remember the day that we put my
dog down, but even care, not at all. No, but
I remember my dog's birthdays just like to celebrate that.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
I don't. I don't celebrate or really remember, you know,
days like yeah, putting down the dog.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
That's suppressing your emotions.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
And it's working. So you didn't write about this, writer,
but like for us, like there was a big debate
about when to have another pet.

Speaker 5 (52:40):
Oh, this is what I always wonder. I haven't been
through the loss of my pet, and I'm like, how
do people decide? Or sometimes I feel like you don't
even decide.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
It's like like I mean should Peter be officially dead,
like I mean declared dead before I.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
Talk like one six months?

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Is the coroner free? Is he available? He seems really nice,
you know the er doctor pronounces it. You know, what
do we do?

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Do I have to wait?

Speaker 5 (53:06):
Right?

Speaker 1 (53:06):
Yeah? Yeah? What's the mill waiting period? Oh? Hello? How
long do you have to wait? So people don't judge
me yet?

Speaker 4 (53:14):
Now, you know, Whitney.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Dressing sluttie to the wake is just d This is
my uber driver, that's right. It's just like really like
small spaniard dude, Like, what the fuck? It's just my

(53:38):
Uber drivers. His name is Stebon and it's what Peter
would have wanted. He doesn't want to be driving myself
to the wake? Are you kidding me? He told me
Visa this. It took us a while to decide, like
when are we ready to like adopt again? But you know,
you have a lot of love to give, and I
think that, like, you know, that's a big part of

(54:00):
it too, is realizing there's a lot of hurting puppies
and kiddies out there that like need families, and if
you're the kind of family that you know, can offer
a lot of love and takes it seriously, why deprive
you know, another living thing of that love and bringing
them into your family. And so for us, we waited
a while, but then we did get to a place.
It wasn't you know, it wasn't years like I mean

(54:20):
with a pet, you know, like we waited.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
There is a void that like kind of I feel like.

Speaker 1 (54:24):
I am so used to having a pet, and when
you don't have your pet, it is just agony.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
To get past that stage. I like when when we
put our last dog down, I I kind of just said,
I was like, I don't think we should get another
pet for a while.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Yeah, like let's let's hold out for a while.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
And know eventually found the dogs that we have now,
but we got those.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
Maybe not quite a year later, it was it was
around there. Yeah, that's a good amount of time. I
mean that's longer than we were able to wait. We
waited until we like, yes, found these two dogs that
had been I.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
Was going to say, sometimes it's not a choice.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
It's like they got put up for adoption. Their owner
died and so they were at a foster thing and
through I think the follows and so she found them, like,
oh this this seems like it'd be nice.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
That's how we found ours too, Like we subscribed to
age other dogs and that's when we got them.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
But we didn't get them. There was enough to comfort
us immediately after the last.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
In our case, we had little kids, you know, so
like for us as like, hey, our little kid, you know,
needed to have a pet. You know, I just thought
about it. Yeah, that was part of it. Yeah, you
had had reasons for it. And in Whitney's case, she
subscribes to Stebond's only fans, you know, so like she
wasn't planning on this the whole time. It's just oh,
by the way, oh.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
My god, for a while.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Now we know each other, Yeah, I feel like we're
very close. I just know you, especially your butthole. So anyway,
he lives at the house. Yeah, it's right, he's already
you know, been doing a lot of extra bet. Yes
it's mine, but it's it's extra.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
There's a lot in there.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
I've been pushing Peter into the garage and then pusing
in the Jesus Christ, you can't do stairs upstairs, Jesus,
you know upstairs. I saw the Halloween decords by Gates

(56:18):
set up on the staircase so you won't come up there,
go towards the light. Toward the light anyway, rider. You know,
we empathize with you. I'm sorry that you lost Minky,
but you know it does get better over time. I mean,
your love I think is valid, and I think that
grief is valid. As Nick said, our expectation is therapist
is that you know, every it's gonna go away over time,
It's gonna shrink in the sense of how often this happens.

(56:40):
But then occasionally that button gets pressed and your heart
just sinks. And that happens to me still to this day.
But there's still a lot of joy in the future.
And you know, don't be afraid to move forward when
you're ready and grieve appropriately, and then one day, yes,
it does get less and then you're able to kind
of let go and the calendar isn't as strong, though
it's still there, and you know, but like tragedy, and

(57:01):
you know that grief eventually dissipate. So just trust the process.
My friend. I'm sorry for your loss, but thank you
for sharing your story with us. I hope that eventually
you're able to find you know, another pet, another you know,
kind of fur baby to welcome into your home, and
I hope that you just continue to pass that love
forward and not not, you know, just give up on it,
because I think it's an important value that you have,

(57:21):
and I hope that's part of your life. We're's a
quick break in. When we come back, we're talking about
physical touch in therapy. Whitney, you're listening to pod. Today's
episode is brought to you by Judy Schneier, Leon Kasab,
Carolyn Albert Scoop, Sarah Smith, My Count, Darren Cuttingham, Tody
the Doloran Guy, Breaking malay Check, Max the Ginger, Scoop,

(57:44):
and Kelly o' dare. Would you like to sponsor the show?
Become a therapeucer picture dot Com. Sorry to Jacob barely
at the lead, but like I got a point. I
remember you have a point. I was told you know
what for bringing that up. I'll give you another one. Yeah,
all right, here we go. We're gonna with Jacob backwards.
Now it goes to me, no, you'll be last. Yes,

(58:04):
since you get two bikes today, Apple, all right, Uh,
here we go. Jacob Saudi Arabia, Oh fuck oh ship
oil a stand uh.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Saudi Arabia, Babylon oh Jordan, Yes, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
Iran, it's a it's a it's a it's a water border.
It's across from the Persian Gone. Does that count? I
think I'll allow it. I think, yeah, that's a a.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Why not? Yeah? Wait that I think I think England
should have counted for the last one. Still wouldn't count,
Still wouldn't. All right, so Jordan's out that Iran as
a what's the country again? Saudi Arabia? All right, come on, Jim,
you can do this. So I feel like Babylon isn't
a thing anymore, and I feel like Sue Meyer changed

(59:02):
its name. So yeah, I feel like these are all
still there. Oh Egypt, Yeah, yes, good. You didn't have
to use this free square.

Speaker 3 (59:16):
Yeah damn, Joe.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
Oh shit, I just had one in mind. Where did
it go? Oh is Rayel? Is you a? Yes? That's
not the same place United Arab Emirates. I kind of
assumed it's two names for the same place. That's where
like Russia, like the Soviet unions, the same place Russia

(59:39):
was in the Soviet Yeah. Not technically, Yeah, we're saying
the same thing. I don't think you are.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Ship. Let's see Saudi Arabia. Can I get a hunt?

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (59:55):
It's hot, there's very warm.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
There are lots of dead dinosaurs. Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Oh no, I don't like.

Speaker 5 (01:00:03):
I have like a bunch of countries in mind, but
I can't picture where they're at.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
You got this, Let's go with hot places. Dubai Is
that a country? I don't know. I only know it
from Sex and the City.

Speaker 5 (01:00:20):
I'm gonna go with, uh, Jordan, Egypt, I don't know.
I'm gonna go basic bitch because I don't know. I'm
gonna go with Iraq.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
Oh ship, yes, damn, that was my next move. All right.
I remember George W. H. W. Bush fought a war
over Kuwait, and I feel like that's relevant because they
also have oil. I think that's why Bush is fight wars.
So let me go with Kuwait.

Speaker 4 (01:00:50):
Yeah, yeah, let's go George.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Let's go. Uh there's more, Yes, dude, there are more. Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
There are how many more, Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Let's say one, two, three, at least three more? Three?

Speaker 5 (01:01:17):
More?

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
Oh my god? Well maritime four five? Oh. I'm not
all about this maritime bullshit.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
I think I will take it because it keeps me
a lot except about I'm gonna get you said three more?
That border Jesus Kazakhstan.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
No, he's out me. Oh ship it's like spelling be rules.
The US wasn't goddamn game. I don't know, James. It
wasn't paying attention to the first time. Ah fuck we
I don't know very many countries in that region because
I used Egypt and then I used the one from Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
They don't get it right? Can I have one more
guests for funzies?

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
And sure rans out Iracks out Syria?

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
No, Jim, I'll be mad.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Is do I have to go again? No? He's got
he had to throw away one gets this ones isis?
Oh he gets the He didn't just get two guesses,
he gets miss one. He gets to miss one because
he's already had several guesses. I'm sorry. Did you say
your guest was isis?

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
Right? That's a bad idea? Nope, I sure didn't mean that,
And I don't mean al Qaeda. That would be silly
to write al Qaeda is a bad idea? Is Afghanistan
next to it?

Speaker 5 (01:02:40):
Though?

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Is that your guests? I feel like it's too far. No,
because I feel like kazak Stan. Once you get to
the stands over there, and you had to stay away
from the stands. Give me ship, give me Israel. Fuck it,
let's go. She is reel does not have a direct border,

(01:03:02):
have a water border. It does not. John and Egypt
kind of pinch it off. Does that mean I want again? No,
you still have to spelling be rule you have to
get I went first of the round. He did go first,
and technically we didn't do spelling be.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Do you have another guest for funds?

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
I do go for it all right, just ab. I
don't remember if it's a country or a city. Okay, okay, Qatar.
Qatar is a country. Yeah, and it does border.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
Job Jacob.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
Statement about being mediocre at geography.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
I feel like it's a bad guest now.

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
Uh no, Cypress, Chris Ball Rain.

Speaker 5 (01:03:48):
That's what when I thought of there's a friend of
mine who from college. She lives her husband's and oil.
She lives over there, and she went to Bahrain over
the border from Saudi Arabia. But I could not remember
the name all I could think of.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
But it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
So Johnson and John O places. That's what count what?

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
Go on Oman and then uh maritime border with Sudan
and Eritrea. Geez.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
We just talked about that Lordita was a character in
the Never Ending Story, right, yeah, yes, his horse.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Got stuck in the swamp and that's what it was.
That was flying dogs. I believe that's how that worked.
You know that dog was in Dumb and Dumber. Oh
is that right? That was a different dog?

Speaker 4 (01:04:36):
Okay, yeah, dog vam.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Physical touch in therapy. Haygang just had a random question
that I don't think I've heard you talk about. And
if you have, or it's too basic to warrant a
segment on the show, no harm in skipping this one. Nope. Obviously,
keeping an amounts of distance between yourself and a client
is not just smart but ethically and legally something to

(01:04:59):
get in mind. But also when someone is going through something,
physical touch is sometimes comforting. Personally, if I'm feeling bad,
physically knowing someone is there does help me feel better.
As therapists are there hard and fast rules that you
have to follow as an outsider slash not therapist. It
seems like hugging a client is probably frowned upon. But

(01:05:23):
if a client is crying, is it acceptable to put
a hand on their shoulder? Is it a case by
case basis, clearly anything that is unwanted or sexual is
not okay. But I'm curious about things like comforting someone
feeling bad or saying goodbye to a client that you've
maybe known for a while and have rapport with. As
someone who's a big hugger in general, I just wondered

(01:05:45):
if as professionals there's never any room for more than
a handshake, or if there's a place for a comforting
pat on the back while someone is going through something rough.
Thanks Stuart to Scoopfests and still no scoop mag I
feel like, culturally, this is an interesting question because women,

(01:06:05):
I feel there's a I don't know what the rules
are on this, and so I'm really eager to hear
what Whitney thinks. I feel like there's an etiquette among women,
like I'll even notice at Scoopfest, like women will come
to Whitney be like, oh my god, Whitney, I'm so
and so you're great, and it's immediately cool for them
to hug.

Speaker 3 (01:06:22):
Yes, hug everyone.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
You'll hug everyone. And I don't think that's just a
Whitney thing. I feel like that's a feminine thing. It's
very normal whereas I think in masculine etiquette you don't
as often, but it is normal to hug Hello to
a female who says hi to you, is like, oh hello,
it's so good to see, Like you're kind of like
reading the situation to know like what you should or

(01:06:43):
should sweeten you Me and Jacob as much as I
would like, yeah say that. Yeah, And I've texted about
this a lot of people. Oh wow, I mean correct.

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
Jacob and I hug all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
I mean, yeah, you guys are sitting next to each other,
snuggled up on a couch.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
I hug a lot of people at scoop Fest, very warm.
There was a lot of hugging going on at Scoopfest.

Speaker 1 (01:07:06):
That's fair. It feels like a fam union. Clinical world, though,
is as a therapist, which.

Speaker 3 (01:07:11):
I've never hugged a client.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Shut up, yes you have. You don't hug Maybe.

Speaker 5 (01:07:16):
Maybe a thirteen year old girl that I worked with,
But I don't even know that.

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
I'm thinking, I don't know that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
I am shocked. I would just think that, like, are
you sure she was thirteen with me? Yeah, she was
a hot supple nineteen Oh no, she was older. Okay, yeah,
you know Jim.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
A lot of my work with the juvenile sex offenders,
there wasn't.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
A lot of not a lot of hugging. Weird. It
turns out in private practice though messages right, it turns
out that was a bad idea. Okay, fine, not hugging
the teenage sex offender. Fine, but like your clients love languages, butts,
that's right? Now? What if you just want to communicate affirmation?

Speaker 3 (01:07:49):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
But that chapter was buried deep in the book. It
is deep between the pages and the crevass, is what
I might say. Those are the pages that were stuck together.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
I had a client when I first dig that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
Book out from under my coffee table.

Speaker 5 (01:08:03):
When I first started, I had a client who would
choke to session and he would look like we'd be
at a table across from each other because it was
just we had to meet in the group home and
it was not great anyway. He would look to the
side during our session, and so I would have to
like kind of confront the like, hey, what's going on?
Aren't we focused on sessionalists. At some point he would

(01:08:25):
look opposite. He would like have his back facing me.
I was like, what the hell is going on? I've
never experienced this. This is something they teach you about
in your master's program. And so finally I and we
had pretty good rapport before that. When he started doing
this and finally came out, he's like, oh, basically told
me he had like maybe a dream about me and

(01:08:48):
was feeling a certain type of wayscribed.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
Yeah, the only fans got out.

Speaker 5 (01:08:52):
No, they don't have internet access, so they can't they
can't find it or as far as I know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
And yeah, the cell phones get into prisons but not
at the home.

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
Yeah, no, no, but he received your mailer.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
I'm sure.

Speaker 5 (01:09:04):
It wasn't the poster behind me, but yeah, he basically
was like, I don't want to look at you because
I feel searchedble Bay was like, oh okay. It was
like cool, as long as you finish your treatment whatever, Like,
so I let him look wherever the fuck you wanted to.
But yeah, I think with hugging, Like I have thought
about this a couple times in session, when there's a

(01:09:26):
client who's very upset, you know, woman, female or male,
like it doesn't matter, and the urge to comfort is
there as a human, Like if I saw this human
on the street who was like upset and tearful and whatever.
I probably haven't urged it even just put an arm
around them or just like yeah, hand on their shoulder,

(01:09:47):
anything that's just like.

Speaker 3 (01:09:49):
A physical comfort.

Speaker 5 (01:09:51):
I was waiting for Jacob's commentary, like, where is this
Giddings aod job? But I never have because that feels
like a line that once it's crossed.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Yeah, okay, But in in Jim's I have, that's going
to happen. Yeah, on the way here, I hug him.
I feel like, hey, where are you going? That's not
how we end ourselves. Open mouthed eye contact, doing crazy
eye contact like we practice this is part of therapy

(01:10:28):
in girl culture, though, isn't it very No? Really? I
mean in girl culture, I feel like it's your next book. Yeah.
Like I remember when you met my wife. That was
the first time you'd ever met her. We were at
S Jay's show. It was for Spice Girls girls, and
you'd never met her in your life, and it was
like hi, and you gave her.

Speaker 3 (01:10:46):
A hot I don't even remember that.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
And it just it just seems like in feminine culture
that almost is expected a little bit. And I don't know,
maybe I'm overthinking, but it just there's a dynamic here
that right, Like there's a dynamic among women and that's
like great, hello, Like there's some kind of message that's
being sent with hugging that maybe you wouldn't do in
other situation. Definite, you know that we just have to

(01:11:08):
press their tits together, because that's what I've seen on
the internet doesn't and that seems like.

Speaker 3 (01:11:14):
I have to be careful of that though.

Speaker 5 (01:11:15):
I'm thinking now, like from scoot Fest, like not knowing
these people, I don't care. I will hug, I don't care,
but I have to be more cognizant of like people
that maybe aren't as comfortable hugging and they aren't gonna
tell me no.

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
Are you know we initiate a hug. I consider you
a predatory hugger. It's something I've thought a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:11:33):
That's my scoop name predatory predatory hugger. Oh yes, I
like this now, but no, because I actually one of
my really good friends now when we first met, I
had met her one time before, and then she got
me the job at the insurance company. So day one
I show up at the insurance company and I'm like, hey,
she meets me out fronts. You know, you need the
key card to get behind the doors. So she comes

(01:11:54):
out from like, hey, like we've met before, and she
had come to my house for this this thing I had,
and so I like go to give her a hug,
and I find out, like probably a week or two
later's like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12:04):
I'm not really a hugger.

Speaker 5 (01:12:05):
And I was like, oh, I totally hugged you like
the first day, and she's like yeah. I was like, oh,
I'm so sorry. We're like really good friends now. But
it was just so funny because I was like default,
and feminine culture is like, would I need to be
maybe more careful and ask for those and I'll be
so predatory, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:23):
So when you when you meet a new client or
you're welcoming a new client, it's a woman in person,
there's there's no handshake. You'll just do the hand.

Speaker 5 (01:12:33):
If it's the very first like nice to me in
person handshake and welcome, come on back, and.

Speaker 3 (01:12:37):
Yeah there is. I don't ever touch my clients, even
really handshaking.

Speaker 1 (01:12:41):
I don't even handshake, Okay, now I can see that. Yeah,
hands and pocket. I think I feel like one stern
bow that hat nick curtsy, what you mean I have?
I have hugged clients. Yeah, I've never initiated. If they
go in for a hug, then I will, okay. And

(01:13:02):
that's I think mostly because in you know, substance use treatment,
in residential treatment settings, they're there twenty four hours a day. Ye,
that's it's very different. And that's and then they get
they get very hair down, and they get they get
very close to each other. Yes, and so they're always

(01:13:23):
hugging each other. They're very close in that sense. And
I think sometimes yeah, they just like you know, they're
they're they've successfully complete a treatment, they're doing great. They
hug all of their peers and then they go to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
So it's just part of your You're part of the group,
which is honestly very flattering because it's so benign. It
seemed as like, no, you're just we're all part of

(01:13:44):
this family or this is organization. But if client, if
if somebody is in my office and they're breaking down,
I don't go and touch them. I'll never go. And yeah,
what's interesting about the question is it sort of presumes
like in an extreme scenario where a person's very emotional,
wouldn't you reach out in touch them and ironically, I
agree with both of you. I think most therapists the
public will be surprised to find like, no, that's the

(01:14:05):
least likely time I'm going to touch you because you're
doing work, we're working. I don't want to disrupt this. Yeah, exactly,
I don't want to disrupt this. I don't want to
put a hand on you and comfort you because I
don't want to pull you out of it. And that's
what that physical motion can communicate is like that's enough,
button it up and be comforted and right, feel better.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
Now, stop stop dealing with this trauma, stop dealing with whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
Putting a hand on you can communicate falsely that I'm
at the point where I need you to wrap this
up or you should feel better, and so we will
offer silence. That's one of the first things we're taught
in grad school is the difficulty of being in the
presence of somebody who is emoting and hurting and resisting
the urge to comfort them because this is important and

(01:14:52):
you want them to fully experience it and go through
this without pulling them out, Whereas the average human is
going to be uncomfortable and they're going to seek to
repair them and Nick You've talked in the past about tissues,
about being very mindful about Kleenex and like people offering
a hurting person the tissue box, and you've kind of
even had rules where you've said, hey, that's that's not okay,

(01:15:13):
even though you mean well, because you're you're doing exactly this. Yeah,
that's right. Yeah. Yeah, So we would just make sure
that it's easily accessible to anybody who wants it can
nowhere it wants.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
So that somebody wouldn't have to stand up and go
get it and be disruptive.

Speaker 1 (01:15:27):
Because what would happen is if I got a group
of ten people and somebody gets really emotional starts crying,
eight of them have stopped listening. Yes, they're no longer
paying attention. Now they're looking like, oh shit, oh shit,
this is we gotta we gotta stop this somehow. And
it's more about them feeling uncomfortable since somebody else cry,
than it is about that gives them and getting the
tissue box gives them a project, ye, gives them something

(01:15:47):
to do. Yeah, And again it can stifle the person
who's in the middle of a very important working moment therapeutically.
So I think that the public is usually surprised to
discover that, Like as this question presumes, it'd be like, well,
I know you guys general don't touch them, but in
this extraordinary circumstance would you. And it's like, actually, that
is a moment that we would least likely playcate a

(01:16:07):
person with touch because they're doing some very important work
and we want a therapeutically posture to like support them
in that and monitor them where I will be very
like comfortable making contact with people, Like you said, in
inpatient substance abuse settings, when you grow up in that
and you're trained in that, the rooms are very much
like this, Like substance abuse treatment is very much like

(01:16:29):
shoulder to shoulder. You just are used to being in
proximity to people you're you're sharing meals together. It's just
a very different vibe. And so there it's called for,
like it's meant to be a little bit more like Nope,
I'm not gonna otherize myself and be the special clinician
person who descends you know, like, Nope, I want to
be in the melu. And so I'll play Madden with you,
and I'll goof off with you and we'll talk sports

(01:16:50):
and I'll backslap you a little bit and we'll shake hands.
When I see you and some people pull you in
for the bro hug and yep, that's great. Not gonna
hesitate on that. So for me, I think that's my
like go to is like I'll do the bro hug
thing and like for me, like I'm very comfortable with that.
Like whenever you first meet with people, you always like
I'll give people the bro hug as a hello, and
so it doesn't freak me out like with men, like

(01:17:11):
that's a very comfortable move to shake down.

Speaker 2 (01:17:14):
I really rarely initiate if some if I see somebody
coming in for a hug, then I'll hug.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
That's not true. I feel like I've had to chase you.
I feel like I've had to like speed walk towards you.

Speaker 3 (01:17:23):
Usually go the other directions case by case and the
question yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:27):
Right, okay, yeah. I feel like when I've texted you
and said, hey, heads up, I'm I really liked to
hug today, you like you didn't see it. You know.
So there was that one time that I told Nick
to hug you. Yeah, okay, yeah, so that was you, Okay,
So I didn't know that, like I just I just
noticed he was waiting for me. Yeah, that's when I
hugged him. Okay, at that point there it is hugged

(01:17:47):
Jim Job with that that Atlantic accent. See also for
the listeners, Nick has a previous engagement. He had to leave.
That's right, and so now Jacob by, I guess there's
no more trivia. We're gonna take a quick break, and
when we come back, we're wrapping up the show. You're
listening to pod therapy something something this has brought to you.

(01:18:10):
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Patreons out there, everybody who supports the show on Patreon,
thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
There it is. It means the world there it is.

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
Get out there, Patreon dot com slash therapy. Yeah, you
can go over there right now, throw a few picks
in the hat. You get all this stuff on Discord,
you get all this extended show stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
It's all really great. And also there's a brand new
thing on there, the studio to be named after you
for a single episode. Go over there, Patreon dot com
slash therapy, which I'll probably forget about. Okay, last trivia
name places adjacent to the place I'm about to.

Speaker 4 (01:18:44):
Say, Ready, Ready, Australia, New Zealand.

Speaker 1 (01:18:51):
I don't know, is that is that right? Is it? Like?
I feel like it's next to it. It's a bare
gonna go with the majority vote. I mean, if we're
doing America, what is the minimum Japan? Yes, you guys
are those things on both sides of water kills? Right?

Speaker 5 (01:19:20):
Like?

Speaker 1 (01:19:20):
Once you allow for maritime borders, it's all.

Speaker 2 (01:19:23):
I'm anti maritime borders, everybody, all the listeners out there,
I need you to get on the discord.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Yes, and I need to rail against all.

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
Of the maritime borders in the Trivia's okay, The maritime
borders should not be allowed.

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
And I need for this to be a big deal. Okay, yeah,
this is the hell we should die on. As a
wrap up the show, I want to remind you can
go to patron dot com. That's right. You can get
our extended show ad free a day earlier, as well
as enjoy our live chat discord community and our weekly
or sporadic deep dives, interviews, skill shares, research roundups and rants.
We've got some new friends to the therap party at

(01:19:59):
Patreon slash therapy. Do you have a script? Whatney do
you want to say?

Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
Who they are Kaylee Sorell is a new therapath.

Speaker 1 (01:20:06):
Kayla, Kaylee or Kaylee? However the fuck you pronounce it
is a friend of Sammy Scoop.

Speaker 2 (01:20:13):
Did you just correct someone?

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
Fuck them? Yeah? Yeah, read it. It's Kaylee. It can
I think it's Kayla.

Speaker 2 (01:20:21):
I'm going to assume it's Kaylee, and if it's Kayla,
I will be pleasantly surprised.

Speaker 3 (01:20:26):
Let's go get it in kay Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:20:28):
So this is a really funny story where Sammy Scoop
shared a screenshot of a text conversation she's having with
her coworker, who is Kaylee Okay, and it was something
I saw pot therapy or something like that, or Kaylee
heard an episode in which Sammy Scoop is referenced and
was like, oh my god, they referenced you on the show.
And then Nick and I jumped in on the discord

(01:20:49):
and basically just talked shit to this person who he
knew couldn't see it. Yeah, and then she joined and
then Sammy was like, hey, they're talking about you in
the discord and she was like fuck that. I'll put
a dollar in the hat to find out what's what's
going on? People just yep, boys, just neg girls and
eventually they will come hang out with you. They'll give
you a dollar.

Speaker 3 (01:21:08):
That's to Mike Lush welcome, yep.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
And that's the one who we just won money from bet.
That's the one where gave money back to Whitney after
losing a bet. So we're doing really good with just
like directly roping people into the Skeivinity gambling. Yep. That's
it's working for us. We'd also, of course like to
think the benevolent, revered, generous and flagrantly pro therapy dieheards
who love you all so much to give to lit

(01:21:34):
Hurts their partners picket, And we'd like to thank our bosses,
the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati members of the fan Club
with their producers. Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior,
Mint Smithie Scoop, Richard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia, Leon Cassab,
Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Dan Martin,
who's getting his ass beat by Jim this week in
Fantasy Football, Sammy Scoop, Ben Stanley's lapping your face, Sarah Smith,

(01:21:59):
Adam Hathaway, by Bler Team, Mike Helm, Oscar Swan ros
paris A, Sonny Boy, Darn Cunningham, Lib Sandra mcwaffle Team, Monico, Thunder, Cougar, Falcon, Scoop,
Hey O Hannah, Marie Andrew lang Mead, Emma Tonka and
Pony Soprano, Alina Cody, The Lorian Guy, Brady Malaychick Chick Filetio,
Gabriel Adame, Sean Sutherland, Max the Ginger, Scoop, Chad mag
Adam Wren, Incle, The Prince, Sam Cone, big A, Do

(01:22:22):
Crimes and l e O Dare And if you'd like
to sponsor, or if you'd like to hear this episode
uncut and unedited and enjoy our spontaneous side projects, you
can go to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank
you for supporting mental health. And that's all the time
that we've got for this week session. We want to
thank our landlords, Matt Manningley's ice Cream Social Podcast and
s Jay and the ruckus Qui Pond Studios, and thanks

(01:22:42):
of those of you contributed to our show today. We
really appreciate it. Remember about therapy is and somebody keep
all to yourself Shore The episode with the world text
the socials when you do. It's at pot Therapy Guys
on Instagram, dreads and Twitter, slash pot therapy and Facebook
and blue Sky and don't forget about all the extra
goodies at patroon dot com slash therapy and if you'd
like to submit a question of the show, you can
ask anonymous that pot therapy dot net. You can email
us at pot therapy Guys at gmail dot com, or

(01:23:05):
just open up the episode description in your podcast. We've
got a link in there. He can be taken to
our anonymous Google form.

Speaker 3 (01:23:11):
I'm Jim, I'm Whitney.

Speaker 1 (01:23:13):
And I'm Jim. Thanks and we'll see for your appointment
next week. To Jim, why did you introduce yourself twice?
Because I'm both gyms. That's rare that you're introducer fries.
Jeff is a weird Jim. What are you talk about?
I'm right here. I'm also here from Iowa Atlantic Prohibition era.

(01:23:35):
Like the penguin, I'll bet you I can name one
state that borders Iowa is part of that. That cook
guy that this boots is uh, Louisiana.

Speaker 3 (01:23:43):
What are you saying?

Speaker 1 (01:23:44):
You don't you know the guy in the map that
looks like a man with a chef hat. Oh oh,
I don't know. Is he part of that? He might
be Fuck say bye.

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