#413: Returning to Previous Therapist, Workaholic, Sex and Chronic Pain

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And so I got one hundred and fifty bucks and
I was like, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I's worth of super glue.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Yes. Yeah, so a lot of ups and downs, yeah,
a lot of winds and woes.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
It was a journey, guys, it was a tale. My
back is still broken. My horse voice tells the story.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
From fabulous Las Vegas, Nevadam. This is pot therapy, real people,
real problems, and real therapists. You can submit your questions
an honestly at pod therapy dot net or we're emailing
us at pod therapy guys at gmail dot com. And
now broadcasting from the unnamed studio Dice. That's Jim, that's
w me on next time for some pod therapy.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Well, welcome everybody as we record this as the last
time you're hearing a spry thirty nine year old gym.
This is the end your hours.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
I mean, we're already not hearing the spry rye.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, it sounds like a fucking broken glass.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
By the way, I disagree with the other folks in
this room. Okay, that's not forty okay, okay, yeah, it's
just your your You need to take care of your Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Got it. The deal.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
You don't have to be in pain like that.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Thanks, if you'd like to hear, because he's not going
to himself, that's right, But he doesn't have to be.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be. It's not going to change.
I just want him to know what the cont Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah, this is just the occasional reminder of you know,
you're doing this to yourself, right, just okay, that's fine.
I want you to know you remand a version table
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard really.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Hang by your ankles for like a few minutes to day. Yeah,
and it does really nice things for you.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
That does sound nice, you know, he's really it's a
plain pass though. Is his wife agreed for not asking
the man of the house right to move the tea
my son should that is true? Yeah, clearly it was
a mistake.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
It was just the TV. So if you'd like to
hear Jim's tale of woe and wins in Fabulous Reno, Yeah,
as I did my whoa, yeah, my crazy Turning forty
trip patron dot Com slash Therapy. This week's worth. I
think I think this one's worth. It be a part
of the history of the show. This one is one

(02:04):
for the books. So we survived.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
I am here.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
You're forty right, uh yeah when you're.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Listening, Yeah, when you're listening on Wednesday or Thursday, I
am officially forty, but as of this recording, I am not.
Damn it.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
So, so how did the rest of the list go get?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, I'd have to look at it. I'd have to
look at it.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
So we wild Car, did one any anything else?

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Did you shave your face?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Hold on? Hold on, low hanging fruit? Okay? Did you
Carson City? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:36):
I was gonna do that.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I gonna do it. He wasn't gonna do that.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Bro, I couldn't on my bus for that whole.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Out there back. Was Beau going to do it? I
couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I was totally planning on writing the regional Transport bus
from Reno to Carson to thirty minute drive. I was
that was on my agenda. I was going to do it.
But after the back thing, I was like, I can't.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
Do that, Like, and what am I gonna do? Get
to Carson?

Speaker 1 (03:04):
It's like hobble around and like I didn't.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
I couldn't do anything.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
So I was like, I just need to hang out
of my hotel.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Mostly like you know, try to find what I could do.
Shave your face was one that I'm sure there's a razor. Yeah,
we just we can just strip me down.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
It says experience a new place, and next to it
it says Portland, Seattle, Reno slash.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Talk gambling on there. So also I discovered that I
have this huge bush go on in my front yard
of my house. Okay, uh, And I did not know
what you call that.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Yeah, that's your name for it.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
But it is.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
It's rosemary.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's a huge rosemary.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
I didn't know that. I like, yeah, they grow.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
They So my brother in law today is looking at it, goes,
that looks like rosemary. And my wife goes, yeah it is.
I cut from this all the time, and I cook
with it. I make like and I'm like, we eat
from this tree, this tree. We used to.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
This my fruit bearing tree or whatever the like, your
wife accomplished that one.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
I'm gonna take a w because the Bible says the
two shall become one.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
All right, I'm gonna take that w away. Damn it,
you're not giving me any grace. I did put that there. Also,
plant is right there in the uh in the thing.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
I feel like I was did you watch the Quentin
Tarantino movies?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
I did not. I could have done that on the
on the a forty five minute flight. Watch them on
two X speed. Do what I did, get an insurn.
I've done the intern thing. I traveled to a different place.
Jacob gave me a wild card. I don't remember what for,
but something I did from the pre show.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
You have to listen to the pre show here, that's.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Right, pat dot com slash therapy so uh okay, surprising nobody,
I did not complete all forty of the lists, so
thank you.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Yeah, Jacob's clutched.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
So we will have to see what comes of my
forty one by forty one list. Actually, I'm just gonna
keep counting it down. It's gona be like thirty five
by forty one, like it's whatever's left. Sure, right, I'm
just gonna do the remainder.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
I'm just gonna keep that and clean up.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, or it's gonna be like thirty five before death.
I think that's that's just bucket list, right, Just go
for it.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
So I still encourage you to do it, and I
still don't think you will.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
All right, love love the support, patroon dot com slash therapy.
Hear all about my fabulous trip to beautiful Reno. But
we've got some great questions for today's show. Oh, by
the way, we are four weeks away from the season
finale and the Great PhD, so as hard at work

(05:46):
in our discord led by intern Emma, who is leading
a posse a committee, if you will to design this
year's trivia battle between all four hosts for the doctorate
and apparently my wedding ring. I don't know what I think.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
So if I win, if I win, I want I
think I thought about it over the week. Now, if
I want something from each of you, that's right, I need.
I need something from Nick and something from Whitney. Okay,
I think Whitney gets to choose the something for Nick.
There he gets to choose the something for everybody.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah. I like this better. I like that everybody has
to lose, so yeah, everybody gets some skin in the game.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
I like this. Maybe and maybe Jim can think of
something that I'll have to give.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Oh yeah, oh I like this a lot.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
And you know what.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
Also, to the committee, the discord committee that's working on
the trivia, please feel free to brainstorm some suggestions as well.
If you would like to join this committee or help
design the end of the year show patroon dot com
slash Therapy, jump in for even a dollar. You join
the discord and you have full access to our volunteers
channel and you can check in with them. But the
intern who is leading the battle to make sure that

(06:46):
it is fun and radio useful. Sometimes they try to
design trivia that like does not translate to podcasting. It's
like he think this through, like you gotta make it
work here, Like what's this picture?

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like that's not gonna work.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
So anyway, patroon dot com slash Therapy, we are getting
ready to end this season and yeah, it'll be fun.
We're proud of this work. So we got some great
questions for today's show. We're leading off the order with
should I return to my Therapist? Hi Whitney, Nick, Doctor Jacob,
and Colonel Jim. I'm a longtime listener and first time caller.

(07:18):
I found the podcast when I was having a major
mentb during spring twenty twenty one, as we were all
disconnected from society. I made the mistake of going through
the entire catalog, and yet another mistake by patroning the
show I've been a weekly listener ever since. I'm sorry
for your loss. I'm writing you as I consider whether
I should go back to my previous therapist. I started

(07:40):
seeing the therapist in summer of twenty twenty one and
saw them weekly for around a year and a half.
I was dealing with a lot of existential issues, and
I found therapy to be a huge help, mostly due
to the relationship I formed with my therapist. We parted
on good terms and I sent them a one year
update and got very positive response. We discussed at the
end of therapy, and they reiterated in their email reply

(08:02):
that the door is always open if I'd like to return. Currently,
I'm dealing with a whole new set of issues. I'm
trying to decide if I should go back to my
old therapist or find someone new and start fresh. My
hesitation is due to the fact that I have such
fond memories of the therapy experience with my prior therapist
and fear that returning can only mess up my view
of my prior experience. On the flip side, you never

(08:25):
know what you're gonna get when you fire up psychology today,
so I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts and thank
you for all that you do anonymously torn ps. Please
turn down Jim Jim's mike because he's like that commercial
that comes on way louder than the show make It
makes it hard to listen on road trips with sleeping passengers. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Okay, yeah, it's not the mic.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Audio the mic Jacob's Like, I have done all that
is professionally possible. This cannot be tamed. It's an interesting question.
So do you go back and risk kind of like
a revision to the experience or.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Start a good experience and such a good memory you're
worried about tainting that memory. That's an interesting day.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, I can see where if you have a bad
experience with something a second time, it can feel like
it invalidates the work maybe that you did.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Like I guess, I don't know, I've ever even considered this. Yeah,
it's a good question.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Yeah, I I've had at least one client in particular,
can think of that we did pretty good work together,
always well phase them out of therapy, and whenever they
had some stuff come it wasn't even stuff that came
back up. It was actually some old issues that we

(09:45):
had kind of touched on, but because it wasn't affecting
them in that moment, it was hard to like weave
it into our time together. So when they returned, they
reached out and was like, I just saw them pop
up on my calendar. Okay, I do have some clients
that prefer that and stuff like the weekly or like
the scheduled sessions, And so when he popped back in,

(10:05):
I was like, Oh, this is interesting, what's going on here?

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (10:08):
And so in our first session we kind of did
a review, like, hey, what goals do you want from
our time together? Like what made you reach back out?
And they basically it was kind of nice to have
that jump start again because it was very clear you've
already established raport and there's a comfort level there that says,
all right, I can kind of tell you whatever, let's

(10:29):
just like dive in head first. And so, honestly, it
was kind of nice as a therapist too, because I
thought about it when he returned. I was like, Man,
did I just not do a great job the first time?
Like I felt a little insecure at my own abilities?

Speaker 2 (10:42):
I know.

Speaker 4 (10:42):
I was like, man, should I have asked more when
he was, you know, visiting before, like whenever we'd have
sessions before, so yeah, that made me think through some things.
But I think it's just a dynamic type of situation.
And writer, what you're saying is like, hey, some new
issues are coming up, and I see what you're saying.
That's kind of an interesting concept. But I would bet

(11:04):
that going back to your therapist that you have good
rapport with, that's going to be the best bet and
just come out the gate shoot and like, hey, this
was great when we were working together before, but these
are my new issues. Like is that something you feel
confident manage?

Speaker 5 (11:20):
Will you tell us about the kind of catch up
check up that you had with that with that one
person when they when they came back, and generally kind
of what kind of stuff did you'll talk about? You
spend most of the time talking about old sessions and
things that you discussed before, Yeah, or really just getting
an idea of where they were trying to go.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
In the future.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
Yeah, good question. So most of it was what's going
on now and what do you want to work on
to the future. We spent just a few minutes like, hey,
when we met last met, this is what we had
ended on. How have you been in between now and
then is anything new come up? And they were like, hey,
you know, this symptom is coming back up. So for them,
it was tied to that kind of situation from a

(12:02):
long time ago, but he was having new new things coming.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Up from him. So yeah, I mean, and I generally
my bias on this. I generally like going back to
the original therapist if you were successful, because I mean,
the strongest predictor of client success is a therapeutic relationship.
The relationship, the rapport, the connection, the confidence, and like, honestly,
I love when people return to me because I have

(12:29):
that history with them.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
I nevously doesn't fix them all the way.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right, right, I always leave a little bit of work.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
That's right, it's gonna it's gonna develop into a leak.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, about ten thousand miles they're back.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Over here again.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
It's a strategy, that's the strategy.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
You gotta keep them coming through.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
But no, I love that because like I can, I
can Mars put out salty snacks.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
That's right, order another one.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
I always end every session with like, so what are
you really insecure about lately? And why haven't you fixed it? Anyway,
we'll pick that up next. So you haven't spoken to
your mother lately. Huh, well that's interesting, that's our time. Yeah,
So did your dad love you?

Speaker 2 (13:04):
I don't know. Oh who can say did anybody? So?

Speaker 1 (13:08):
No?

Speaker 2 (13:08):
But I really do you worthy of love?

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Are you you love?

Speaker 2 (13:12):
What's what's life? You know? I don't know, probably not
because lyrics.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
What's love got to do? Got to do with it? So,
you know, I like to get back with those people
because I also get to leverage the relationship history. Like
I've already I already know a lot about you. There's
a lot of pieces of data that I have that
are hard won. I've also probably subtly tried lots of
different therapy maneuvers with you, and I have figured out
quietly what works for you and what does not. The

(13:39):
next therapist is not going to have that, so they
may steer in twenty five wrong directions and you might
be like, oh, we're not getting anywhere. Like I have
a lot of hard work, like earned knowledge, right, So,
Like I generally like the idea of returning, but I've
also I mean, I don't think it's a bad theory
with the fresh start concept, Like I've had people work

(14:00):
with me and we've had major success, and like, sometimes
I've become just kind of their their reliable check in
regular guy that's like, hey, this is my emotional yoga session.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
You know, I come to do the work with you.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
I come for accountability. I come because we have that
memory together. I know you, And like when I update
you about something interesting in my life, I don't have
to give you the backstory. You were there for it.
But like I'm not presently, I'm not presenting with a
problem today, right, it's just general maintenance. But then sometimes
they will suddenly be presenting with something significant, and I
can see the argument of maybe you should fresh, start

(14:34):
with a different therapist for a little while, really attack that,
really dig in deep, Let a whole new brain look
at this and be curious about this, and maybe put
you on a much more like structured plan where we've
become a little bit more unstructured and that's actually working
for us, that's fulfilling a major need for you psychologically.
And maybe if we tried to suddenly go all the

(14:55):
way back to like a perfectly structured situation, maybe that
wouldn't be good for us. So maybe it's good for
you to start fresh. I've seen that, but I think
generally I bias toward like return to the previous therapist.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, I agree, if it's if it ain't broke, fix it, Yeah,
I think. Uh, you know, there's so many people that
write in struggling to find a good therapist.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Right right, Yeah, I didn't. There's a bunch of listeners
that are like, hey, if you're not going to go
see this person, can I it is right now?

Speaker 2 (15:26):
What's the fucker's name. Yeah. It's just kind of like
I've got a lot of cars right now, I'm thinking
of buying another way. Yeah, because I just have too
much money.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Everything's very Yes, that's so much success with therapy.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
I don't know if I just want to keep winning.
I want to championship.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Michael Jordan, You're like, I kind of want to play
for the Wizards.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Maybe maybe i'm too sane. One of the therapists who's
actually just the fucking shaman witch doctors fucked me up
for a while. I get the new experience thing, and maybe,
you know, getting a fresh perspective is useful, But honestly,
I agree, if it's working for you and it was

(16:09):
a great experience, I'd say stick stick with it. Generally,
I think that there's a lot of benefit to that.
But also I'm a big fan of asking your previous
therapist because for me, I am not threatened. Like this
is not a competitive thing. And I know that that's
the case in Nevada. I don't know how it is
in all other states, but at least for our state,
it is not competitive. Like I send people to you

(16:30):
all the time, you've sent people to me, Like we
don't like have this thing of like, oh well I
need this pape. No, that's never the calculation. The calculation
is who is going to do something useful for this
person at this stage, and if I can tag in
a colleague to do that, or if I think, you
know what, this is just not my area of speciality.
I love working with you. We can work in the
parameters I can do. But I have a friend that

(16:53):
really does this well, and I'd like you to go
over there, you know, and like I think that you're
a previous therapist if you sat down with them and said,
I want to kind of get your thoughts and if
you have a referrals or if you think we started yeah, yeah,
why don't we do that talk to the old therapist yeah,
get therap opinion.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Right, don't ask us about it.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
You have a therapist, yeah, keep sending us money, but
ask us yeah, and also ask ye yeah yeah yeah,
ask us and then ask them and then ask us again,
we want to vet this guy and take out.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
A different Patriot account the second time you have yeah, yeah,
because we don't answer the same one twice. I mean, like,
I think it's perfectly fine to call up the therapist
that the current therapist that you have a relationship with,
you have that relationship with. They they do kind to
get you, probably a little bit, and so like talk
to them.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Get A lot of people have to be honest understanding.
They think that because our relationship is so intimate, it
is so personal and it is so friendly. If if
you're lucky and you have a great relationship with your therapist,
a lot of people misunderstand that and they feel like
it's cheating to like go see another therapist or to
ask us like they're like, why am I not good enough?
And that's just not how we are trained.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
And in fact, if I hear something come up that
I'm like wow, something like emdr could be.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Right and I don't specialize enough.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
I know that we have report, but this might be helpful.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, And it's also very common. And that's another thing
that I think people don't know is like it's very
common for therapists to ask a patient, Hey, I want
you to do a course of treatment on this issue
with my colleague.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Who is a specialist.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
And it's also really common for us to say during
that time, I would like us to discontinue our regular meetings.
And the reason for that is it's too many chefs
in the kitchen, and also in Nevada at least, and
in some other states, but in Nevada it's written in
our laws that we do not do that, that it's
one therapist at a time. If another therapist becomes aware,
they're supposed to step back for the good of the

(18:50):
patient and encourage them to stick with the primary work.
Do that first, right, unless both therapists agree, Like, hey,
we're in different lanes, Like I'm doing couples therapy, you're
doing individual therapy. He's doing substance use counseling over here,
he's doing like trauma with you whatever.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
But yeah, like it's also fine to have a lot
and I mean a lot of life coaches. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Oh, there's really no restriction.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
There's really you want to gather with them.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, yeah, life coaches, moving gaggles. Yeah, you guys just
like all like kind of koreem over in the by
the pond, you know, just people just see there and
you come over, you throw some bread, they start walking
over to you a little bit. We wear some lightly
tinted glasses. Classes usually some dreadlocks are flowing in the way.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yeah, blonde, blond, you can always tell where they are.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Appropriate. You hear the reggae playing in the background, and
they just you know, you've landed. So yeah, that would
be my advice. Go back to the original at least
have that conversation and ask them, I'm looking for your
recommendations to deal with this other, this new thing in
my life.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
If you think this is something that.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
We can attack in a structured, strategic way, great. If
you think that this is something that you you maybe
would recommend I go work with somebody else on that's
great too. I would love to follow up with you
regardless and kind of update you on it and continue
to check in for more advice. I think that's great, right, Yeah,
And I think they're gonna get your best answer and
if you already trust that therapist, you're gonna trust them
to series straight.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah. And also like, you're giving that therapist some credit.

Speaker 3 (20:16):
You just told us about this great relationship you had
with this therapist, So go ahead and extend that credit
to them that you're that you're giving them by us.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Ask him, talk to him about it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
And I just want to add one caveat here because
I didn't hear this in the letter, but it reminded
me of situations I've faced sometimes where I've had a patient,
we've done a course of treatment, we've kind of gotten
to the end of it, and maybe I've told them
I think that we should discontinue because I think we're
kind of complete, or I've maybe needed to refer them
out to somebody else. But when they ask me, is
the door open though, Like, are you saying you wouldn't

(20:48):
see me again? I'll never say that, you know, that's horrible. Like,
the only way I would ever say I won't see
you again is if you were inappropriate, you know, So
I'll tell them like, yeah, of course the door is
always open. But at this time, I think you're good.
I don't think you need therapy or at this time,
I think you should go see this other person. And
I guess the under it.

Speaker 2 (21:05):
Is always open, but it's more of an exit door.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, the door's always open, but it's like
slightly cracked, you know, it's sort of like knock first.
I mean I say that because sometimes there is this
subtle intonation of like, I'll never say no to you,
I'll always be a resource, but I don't think i'm
your best fit for one reason or another. I really
think you should go see somebody else. And so like
this is where I want writer, for you to come

(21:29):
at them with this open minded please give me your recommendations,
because when I've had cases like that where I don't
think we should be working together for one reason or another,
and I kind of was trying to like have them
go somewhere else, and then they do come back, so like, well.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
I like you.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
You know, I would really like them to give me
the option to decline in their best interest, not because
I'm selfish, but for them to be able to like, so.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
Jim, here's my situation. What do you want me to
do here?

Speaker 1 (21:53):
You tell me to work with you, I'll work with
you to think you give you somebody else, I'll do that,
And that gives me the option to be like, I
really think you should go to an IOP program. Let me,
let's go that way and that way. I don't just
feel like, Okay, I have no choice. I have to
try to help this even though I don't feel like
I can do it very well. So it's better to
have the option. So go talk to them and get
as many life coaches as you bump into along the
way down.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Have any given.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
In your future?

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah? Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
By the way, I love therapists on private practice websites
that when they list their fees, they don't write fees
or costs, they write investment. Oh oh, it's totally a
thing I know. And your response is right that it
is the dumbest fucking thing. They do it all over
the place. They go personal investment, and then it's like
their hourly rate, and it's like like reclaim that we

(22:41):
work in healthcare.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
What the fuck are you doing? Like what is this
massage envy?

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Like Jesus Christ, like doctors and nurses and or not
give price appendeck to me personal investments.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
If you're seeking therapy, already know it's an investment because
you're desperate, You're like, I need something to change, Like,
why are you trying to convince people? It just comes back.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
So it's really icky.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
It comes off like just pretentious and also a little desperate.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
D This is where they're do you have a feeling
of need and your life. Maybe it's time to make
an investment in yourself. In yourself, come, got some treatment
to wear at my clinic over here on the corner.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
How much is that investment?

Speaker 2 (23:32):
I know where he's going with it.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
It is seventy five pieces of candy, and it's worth
every bit.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Love Yourself Jacob's life Coaching. We are going to take
a quick break and when we come back, we are
talking about am I a workaholic?

Speaker 2 (23:50):
You're listening to past therapy. You are listening to pastor
and you should invest in Bye. These investors Judy Schneider,
Albert Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Derek Cunningham, Cody the The
Loran Guy, Brady Malachi, Max the Junior Scoop and.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Amy Hard bar Arwood, Marks Better.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Would you like to sprout of the show or invest
in your life? Dot com slash.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
I wish that Jacob didn't say the life you save
could be your own at the beginning of every ic
s because the first time I heard him say it,
I was like, fuck, that's a great bit. God, we
should have gotten that bit. Damn it, he spends it
over there. We can never co opt it. But that
would be such a great.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
It wouldn't be the first thing we stole.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
Including Jacob, I like, though, invested yourself, yeah, invest in yourself.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
But pop therapy, Yes, invested. But here's here's how I
want it to come off. I want it to be
like Prosperity Gospel, like Saccharin. I wanted to be like,
if you tied, the Lord will double or triple everything
you got. I want to if you invest ten dollars
in pod therapy, you are going to be restored with
more abundance, more than you could possibly hold in your hands.

(25:09):
You do not know the glory of mental health.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
And I just want to make it clear. We do
not make any money off of it. This is a nonprofit.
We gotta pay our attorneys, we gotta pay our scientists.
I gotta pay the pilot.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
We don't have a jet, we have a submarine. You
have no ideal with the pilots Jesus. They gotta get
the pilot to land on the submarine. I gotta charge
for the nuclear reactor.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
It's so much money. The hookers and blow on free.
I'm doing this because it's a ministry. All right, we
got a price? Is right? Rules? Uh? Trivia sent in
by Emma. All right, here we go.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
These are some of the biggest holiday crazes in recent history.
The first question is what the retail price was. The
second question is different for each, but more focused on
the crazy prices the item was purchased. Four. The amounts
are based on the information I could find. All right, Okay,
first one good notes closest without going over.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
Okay, I nominate that we go from one side to
the other each round the way. You can't gamesmanship somebody
every single time, because whoever goes last obviously up first,
I like it.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
Let's go great nineteen eighty three cabbage patch kid. Oh Jesus,
what was the typical retail price of a cabbage patch
kid in nineteen eighty three? Three? So, first off, I
had one, and I'll tell you in nineteen eighty three, yes, two.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Years before I was born.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yes, I had one. It was waiting for a little later.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
Yeah, you check it out, staring at you in the court.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Eighty three. So you figure like ten dollars in nineteen
eighty three would buy you a twelve hundred square foot home. Yes,
so probably it's been Yeah, obviously it's a modest damas.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Don't think you.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
Handshake a white skin.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
You need to have.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
You, sir, look like a credible individual.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
That's also the entry for Liberty University.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
First name and headshot and you're twenty three and me please.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Alright, very leading questions on the liberty if you were
going to be photographed, what level should we set the
white balance?

Speaker 2 (27:30):
That's right?

Speaker 1 (27:31):
How much mayonnaise is too little mayonnaise to put on
a sandwich? All right, cabbage patch eighty three? Let's give
me ten bucks. I'm just going to go right down
the middle. I'll take ten dollars yep.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
Without going So what's the strategy there? I was supposed
to you.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
To the price without going over.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Yeah, because you'll lose. So if it's thirteen dollars and
you say thirteen oh one, you will have.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
So if you, for instance, if you think that if
the price is less than ten dollars, you want to
get under that price, but get close enough to the
underside of it so I can't sneak up and get
it out from under you.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
Yeah, okay, well I was going to gues ten, so
I guess I'll get nine.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Alright, Now you don't want to know, oh yeah, because
then then you're just saying that it's nine dollars. Yeah, okay,
because you're if you're if it's eight, you're over that,
and then you use yeah you can Yeah, five is.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
A good one.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
All right, all right, there we go, and we're in
dollar increments or cent increments. Oh, I don't know. I mean,
you can do what you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I'll see ten. Oh one, Bruce, you want to dick?
What are you proud of yourself?

Speaker 2 (28:37):
A little bit? You proud of yourself? I'll say fifteen bucks?

Speaker 1 (28:40):
All are you in this? You're in the I don't
trust that. I never trust he's got the computer.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
I'm thinking it's about twelve fitty. Oh okay, what is it?
Twenty five bucks? Yeam in eighty three? Eighty three?

Speaker 4 (28:56):
Oh my god, I thought ten was pushing them like Reagan.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
I'm next, Wow, twenty five wollow up question highest documented range.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Highest documented range?

Speaker 2 (29:10):
How much I'm just gonna I'm just gonna highlight it,
so I understand.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
There you go, just ask chat GPT. I'm sure it'll
be fine.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Oly shit, Okay, I'm just gonna throw this out as
free trivia. There we go about six thousand dollars for
particularly rare n eighties dolls Colector markets.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
This was the beanie Babies of the eighties. Twenty wow. Okay,
so who got the point on that one?

Speaker 2 (29:36):
I did, Whitney. We're going up to nineteen eighty five. Now,
this is the year I was born.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
You two one year before I was born. I'm thirty.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
For like an hour and a half on the Nobody
Cares Jacob, We.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Live in the West, nineteen eighty five, Teddy Ruxman, Oh,
the talking Bear. I was like, what is ruxpin? You
don't remember?

Speaker 3 (30:01):
It had a cassette player in the chest. Yeah, and
you could put the put the cassettes in there and
its mouth.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah, it would. It was a little animatronic because I was,
but it would tell you, it would tell you stories.
It would It was the whole thing. I remember using
the movie ted Yeah, it was like I should have
gotten a Teddy Rocks. And then they say that again,
say that one more time, Teddy fucking rockspan, and then

(30:29):
they just getting a fucking bar fight.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Well, if a cabbage patched all was twenty five dollars.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yeah, it's gotta be like this higher level. I mean
the tech at that time in nineteen eighty five to
have an animatronic like toy Jesus, this is NASA budget whatever.

Speaker 4 (30:49):
I was gonna get thirty.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
But thousand, maybe thirty thousand.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
I'm going to go thirty.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
This is for the alright, I'll say I'll take forty Okay,
oh that is me.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm gonna say five.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Going on the low, all right, Yeah, I feel like
you guys are in the right ballpark. I'm just gonna
jump over Jacob, but I don't want.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
To go too high.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
I'll go forty five because I'm a gentleman, Okay.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Leaving me a window.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
I'm leaving you a window because I'm not fucking scared.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
You could have got it right on. You got the highest,
I said, forty five sixty nine.

Speaker 1 (31:21):
Whoa god, damn dude, you're all weird proud. But I
do win though, Oh my gosh, wow, highest record sale?

Speaker 2 (31:32):
What is that?

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Highest record sale? Ship, probably a thousand bucks thousand, Yeah,
what do you think? What do you think highest highest
recorded sale for this item? Oh?

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Well, the cabbage patl is like six thousand dollars, so
this one's gonna be like five thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Less than a cabbage patch doll.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
Oh or ten or something.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
It's you got to pick a real number. I'll say
seven grand, all right, seven thousand and one.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Oh wow, stuck it.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
No oh, I thought you got it. Like, man, you
are a savant. Do that two thousand? Hey, I said
one thousand. Shit, I got another one. Two points for
Jim Man fucking this thing up. Man, I like this.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Eighties toys trivia.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Next question on the docket today? Am I a workaholic? Hey?
Friends at the ripe old age of thirty four, Fuck you, you child.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
You don't know. You don't even know what you have.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
I think I'm becoming a workaholic and not the cool
kind like Blake from the show Workaholics.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
For content dollars in nineteen eighty five.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
By the way, it's worth about two hundred and ten dollars.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
What's a two hundred and ten dollars Teddy Bear?

Speaker 1 (32:45):
Oh, Wow, that's a Gucci fucking daddy. I was like, Wow, goodness,
gracious fucking inflation. For context, I've been what I guess
is called a white collar professional for about seven years now,
and in that I felt the steady erosion of my
personhood is I've become more and more invested in working

(33:06):
than just being a human. I can feel the toll
it's having on my physical and mental health. Before going
to law school, for anyone thinking about doing it, don't
do it. I feel like I was totally invested in friendships, exercise,
and hobbies. Now all I can really think about is work.
I wake up sometimes at two, three four am anxiously

(33:27):
thinking about work, and the only thing that can calm
me down in those moments is making a cup of
coffee banging out some emails. Once the emails are gone
and the warm, delicious coffee is on board, I feel
all the crushing tension and weight ease out of my
chest and I can breathe more easily. My therapist told
me that caffeine might not be the best thing to
indulge in that early in the morning, duh, But something

(33:49):
about having that cup of coffee is as good as
any anti anxiety mad. In that moment, I really don't
know how else to describe it, because I realize that
it sounds insane. I've also found that I've been less
interested in anything not related to the law either, to
my credit, though my wife and I still aggressively hold
on to our joy of travel, which I feel is

(34:11):
the only thing that keeps me human nowadays. Other than that, though,
I feel like I'm letting work consume who I am
as a person. That being said, I've implemented a few
things that have pushed back on work. My phone has
the Outlook app blocked after five pm and on weekends,
which has worked out really well for me. I don't
sleep with my phone in the bedroom, et c. But
my work laptop just sits in the living room, So

(34:34):
if I both wake at three point thirty in the
morning worried about a case, there she sits waiting for me,
and I sometimes oblige. On the interpersonal side, I feel
like my other white collar friends are able to maintain
healthy social and professional lives and like I'm just missing something.
But that could just be a comparison trap. I've had
friends tell me that they wished they saw me more

(34:55):
but I literally just don't have the energy after work,
and that crushes my soul. I'm wondering if some of
this fixation with work performance and distancing from friends is
just a consequence of getting older. In other words, am
I just getting more secluded and more into work because
that's a phase of life thing. Do you think it
would be helpful to just smash my laptop into tiny

(35:17):
bits instead of emailing my shitty clients back at four
am I do realize how silly it is to be
emailing so early, since the only thing that will come
of it is more emails. But anxious brain says, I
must respond to all my emails as quickly as possible.
Let me know what you think. PS, don't go to
law school if I haven't already made that clear love anonymous.

(35:38):
All right, guys, this is basically the plot of every
Hallmark Christmas love story.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
All right. If you just tell your.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
You need to go to Vermont, Yeah, okay, you need
to go to the Christmas tree store and you meet
some nice folks that are doing some wonderful work and
they're just enjoying the spirit of the holidays.

Speaker 3 (35:56):
You need to fall in love with someone who is
a little awkward take their glasses off.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Yeah, miraculously very sex I think that's important. Somebody that
really just slows down, you know, knows how to stop
and smell the roses there, wants to just sip on
a nice, warm cup of coffee.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Why there's your love of coffee? Yeah? Too? Like, what's
the title of this movie?

Speaker 4 (36:20):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (36:20):
I remember I wrote Remember that? Yeah, I wrote one.
I forgot what it's called merry mental health. I don't know.
Somebody came up with a really good title, but I've
forgotten it. Also, this is not the plot of my story,
though it is very adjacent to it, because they all are.
So anyway, that's my solution for this letter.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Christmas cups. Yeah. I was going to say roasted beans. Okay, yeah,
roasted holiday. It's going to have some sort of Christmas
oh yeah, roasted yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Cafe Kwanzica. I like that. That could be nice.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yeah, that's what.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
We're all think.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
I feel like, maybe decaf in the morning for the
first cup. Maybe.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
So this is tough man, whenever you've got like, because
I do think that this is a thing, Like I
think there's a lot of connotation with people talking about
white collar versus blue collar work or whatever. But one
thing that and like stripping away like stereotypes and other like,
if don't don't read any negative connotation to this one
thing that I think a lot of people envy about
folks that are in the blue collar like lines of work.

(37:21):
When the work's done, the work's done. You know, when
you're an electrician and you've solved this problem, there will
be new ones, still be new jobs tomorrow or whatever.
But I don't have to think about it tonight. I
don't have to do a lot. More is wake up,
I find out what the schedule is, make sure I've
got everything I need, and I go and do the
work and then it's done. Whereas I think a lot
of what we consider white collar jobs, a lot of
it is mental labor, and that labor's always with you. Though, okay,

(37:43):
same more true because you're redoing your house right now,
and it's all you can think about. So as you
pull out the three hundredth nail from the wall, you're like,
I don't know, man, I'm still thinking about this shit.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
It's two ams. So my co hosts know, the audience doesn't.
But I just bought a house he boyer. My arm's time.
Yeah yeah, actually actually and my knees hurt and everything.
Watch out for your back, dude, it's gonna pop. No,
But like so it's it's a fixer upper for sure.
It's got amazing potential, but it needs.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
A lot of work. Let me know if you need
to borrow a tamper.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
You know what. Amazingly, I haven't needed that yet. It's
always going to happen though, But no, so I've I've
gotten and I even I haven't owned a home in
over ten years. Oh yeah, it's been about ten years. Yeah,
and so I've kind of forgotten what it's like to
be a homeowner and like these little projects and stuff

(38:39):
that you always have coming up. But this is almost
like a full on remodel. This is more than a
little project.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Yeah, you're like you're getting ready to live in Yes,
And I'm doing it all.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Pretty much myself. I've hired a couple guys to do
some projects, but otherwise I'm doing it everything. I'm doing myself. Oh,
would help you if you'd ask her?

Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yeah, you mean, I feel like he's like al Borland
And how about you've got I haven't thought about it.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
She's enthusiastic. Yeah, you know, she brings spirit. Yeah, but
I've actually like I've really enjoyed it. And it's like
the other day like I actually caught myself like, you know,
I even said out loud to myself like this is fun,
Like I'm really enjoyed getting you know, And it's it's

(39:33):
a lot different, I think, you know, kind of the
blue collar versus white collar work where it's like yeah, yes,
as a therapist, you get to kind of get some
feeling of accomplishment, you know when your clients do something,
but it's a slow process. You know, they don't have
amazing leaps and bounds, whereas like if you know, I
fix something in the house and something was broken and

(39:55):
now it works and I can see the product. It's like,
holy ship. That is amazingly gratifying to be able to
see it in the moment. And just tonight before coming here,
I was painting the kitchen cabinets and we're making some
bold choices in our kitchen. Okay, some bold.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Bold colors plaid and Sam.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
And I I painted the bottom row of cabinets and
I kind of stepped back as like, holy shit, this
looks really fucking good. I'm really proud of this.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
That's always a scary moment with paint. Oh yeah, you
can only see it in these small samples and you're
really trying to be accurate. Also though, with AI, now
you can take a picture of the cabinets and give
it the color and paints and show me what it
looks like.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
I actually downloaded an AI app pictures around the house.
That's fucking stupid. Like it's it's helpful in a way
because it kind of does give you just a general
picture of like here's to Yeah, it changes the structure
of the house too. Yeah, Like there's times were like

(41:00):
there was one picture where it's like, oh, well the
wall doesn't go that way.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
It's a little changing. Yeah you can't.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
It's like okay, yeah that's not going to work anyway.
But kind of going back to your point, if like
the electrician doesn't go back, it's not making after work
about it yet, Like probably not the case because like
for me, I couldn't sleep at all last night because
I was thinking about like, Okay, this has to get
done before this, but this thing has to wait until
this and I have to order this thing so it

(41:29):
shows up and it's like everything has to is on
a schedule that's fair, and it's got a fit and
so you just you're constantly kind of stressed about that.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
All right, So I'll receive your correction because I think
what you're offering there is it don't oversimplify this to
white color work takes their work home and cognates in
it all night. It's it's probably not as easy to
delineate between fields. It's types of people.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
You know.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
You could be an electrician or a plumber who there's
no task to do at twelve o'clock. You can't jump
on a computer and email something, but there's always more,
or you could be doing to prepare for the next one,
to get equipment, or to run through like the tasks
of the next day. You could always be thinking of
work and creating a boundary is something that some people
mentally have to do, regardless of their industry.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Yeah, all right, I re see that.

Speaker 4 (42:16):
I was wondering the writer mentioned that travel is something
they enjoy doing in their spare time, but I didn't
really hear a lot else. In my mind for this
person kind of goes to one fitness and like having
a outlet, even if it's walking something to kind of
get out the physical energy when there's like mental anxiety there,

(42:38):
especially worrying about like I don't know if my clients
or whatever I've emailed me back and all this. Just
going to do something else that kind of distracts rather
than laying in bed and like, well, now that's all
I can do is think about this. The other thing
is just any other hobbies in there. It doesn't have
to take up a lot of time, but something else

(42:59):
to kind of just keep you, yeah, keep your mind
like not distracted, but just focused on other things, like
other challenges. Because I think when there's space there and
you have something that can fill it, it will be filled.
So if that's your client's neediness or work, we will
allow that space to be filled with that. If there's

(43:20):
like a gap there, that's kind of mine.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
So if you don't put things in your life, if
you just leave a.

Speaker 4 (43:24):
Void kind of some people, not everyone, but it sounds
like this person might be like seeking.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
I get that, And you know what's interesting about this
one too, Like I feel like I don't know there's
I want to play Devil's Advocate a little bit because
it's a part of me. That thinks this isn't inherently
a bad thing, like if the consequences are starting to
become toxic and you're noticing that, okay. But I think
sometimes people become really self conscious because they're like, well,
I mean you tell your friends like, yeah, wake up
a three am and I start grinding at work because

(43:50):
I feel like this incredible energy I need to get done.
And they're like, oh my god, I'm so worried about you.
Are you a workaholic? And it's like, look, sometimes that's
just a trait that you have. Like I am a
very ancient person. That happens to me a lot. It's
very hard for me to take a day off. I
feel like I've been unproductive. I feel like I've done
something wrong. And if I ever feel like I haven't
write about the tasks, probably right, like I'll get in

(44:11):
my own head about it. But like that's also caused
me to have a unique career with a lot of
interesting twists and turns. Because I'm constantly looking for things
or because I'm kind of like I'm restless and I
feel like I have to always be doing something. It's
allowed me to Yeah, you start a podcast, you go
teach it a university, like you just have all these
other microadventures. Or in this person's case, maybe he's really

(44:32):
really or she is really really good at their job,
and like, yeah, they do wake up at three am,
and they do get things done, and they are ahead
of schedule, and they are anxious if something feels undone,
and that's in some ways kind of a superpower for them,
because the other person that doesn't have that natural fear
lets things slide, you know, and messes up assignments. So like,
I don't necessarily want to hate on that all by itself.

(44:52):
I don't think it's self evidently unhealthy. And also the
writer says, before law school, I used to really be
interested in my hobbies and my friendships and all these
other things. And I kind of think that as a
stage of life thing, too, right, because like if you say, oh,
who were you in college and be like, oh, I
used to be so close with my girlfriends and like
my soccer team, and like we were really really confiding
each other and being close. And then you know, I

(45:15):
started my grown up fucking life. I got a vocation,
I got married, I did these other things, and now
I don't have that it's like I miss it. It's nostalgic.
That doesn't mean that my transition was wrong or unhealthy.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
No, I agree with this to some extent. I Peter
and I were just having a discussion similar to this
about like just being in a phase of life where
like things look different than when we were in our twenties, right,
and we could, Yeah, I'd take a year off and
we go travel like that's not going to happen like
any time.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
And then it's like, what have we become? And it's like,
calm down, you know, like you're mature. It's exactly we're responsible. Yeah,
but there are people that do that, and.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Like, I mean, how I how did I let myself
become this?

Speaker 1 (45:55):
I'm clearly unhealthy And it's like you're probably normal, Like
that's probably fine. Most of us don't go off on
wild exciting adventures to reno, you know, like they.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Not everyone can live like that. Not everybody this anthony lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yeah, well it is my man, I am on top
cloud fucking not.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
You know what that had to be a discussion, you know,
once you enter your forties, gym, I hear that that's
something that.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
Well, I wouldn't know Whitney because I'm not there.

Speaker 4 (46:23):
I'm just warning you, just kidding hours away.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
No, and I do think that there's something we said
for that. But I don't want to just qualify the
writer's letter and say there's nothing there that's not appropriate,
because the writer says, look, my truth is that subjectively,
I am feeling the mental and physical toil of this,
I am not moving, I am not feeling well. Yeah,
And so I just want to take that at face value.
I just wanted to normalize it a little bit because

(46:46):
I do think I'll see that as a narrative, like
especially in like social media wellness circles where they're like,
oh my god, you need It's like, let's not vilify
or pathologize everything. Like some people are just they work
a lot, it's what they do. Their hobby is also
their profession.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Great.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
So this this bigger question, which I think the big
thesis that I want us to take on, is how
do we restore I guess, this big ethereal concept of
life balance. How does one do that when one feels
that like their their job and their work is constantly
on their shoulder. I mean, the cheap answer is quit

(47:22):
your job, right, Like well, clearly this isn't working. Go
to Vermont date the Pine Tree.

Speaker 4 (47:26):
Guy, smash the laptop and the million pieces.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
Yeah, just go full office space on this thing and
destroy it. I mean absence something huge in drastic. I
don't know, like what is an answer to this?

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Well, and I guess you know does is is your
profession also kind of your hobby and your interest.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
And lawyer here is a very demanding Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
They said they've lost interest in anything that isn't the law. Yeah,
And I almost is that bad, right? You know because
like I think of like some of my college professors
were like like some of them, their research was fun
for them, like this is you know, this is like,
oh my god, this is something I'm really into. I'm
really excited about it. So, you know, they teach, they

(48:08):
do all their regular stuff as a professor, but then
when it comes time for them to do their research,
it's like they're excited about it because they've been reading
about this thing. They want to get into it, they
want to hear, you know, more about it. So I
don't know. I think I even that though, I feel
like can be dangerous in the long term. If you
don't have something it's good to have something that's completely

(48:30):
opposite or way outside the realm of what you would
normally do. Yeah, you know, it's just good for.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
A brain, so we can't like doing the same thing
over and over and over again. Feels good to an extent,
But I don't know.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah, I like the idea. I mean, Whitney is a therapist,
but and you know her part time job, she likes
to you volunteer at the vet and help them put
down puppies.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yeah, which you know, it's weird because they keep asking
her to go.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
Don't forget about the kittens, right, it's just and she.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Will not use their stuff her own. Yeah, yeah, I
like that she that's right.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
She always likes to bring like the shredded, ripped off
leg of a piece of furniture. I like that's it's
like really interesting.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
That's her, that's her choice.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
You know, that's it's just a beat. Any dogs need
killing today? You guys got anything on the docket?

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Now, look funny, here's my page.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
You let me know.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (49:25):
It might be too late for that, No, but this
is a good point engineering something into your life so
you have this brain break. And I think that goes
back to what you said Whitney that if you leave,
if you if you just create vacancy, work will just
fill the vacancy.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
And that has been true for me.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
If I do not intentionally sign up to go to
football games to do something different, if I just have
empty time, I will just go back to a computer
and start working, right Like, That's just what I'm gonna do.
I'm just gonna find more things to do. There's always
papers to grade, lesson, plans to write, therapy notes to finish,
you know, documentation, to do research to do. There's always

(50:01):
something I wish I had a little bit of that. Okay,
I don't.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
I am the exact opposite, say more, what do you mean? Well, like,
if I have empty spare time, I will not fill
it with work.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Okay, all right.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
I have work time, but I don't like to fill
with it. I am.

Speaker 4 (50:20):
Union always shocks me. I'm like, why the fuck are
you doing nine million things? And I'm like, you know what,
I wish I wish that could be me.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
I do I I I do wish I could just
have that, just like because there's a lot of things
that you know, in my regular job. Yeah, I'd be
interested in learning more about that. Will I take time off,
you know to do that? No, I mean I did
start a business. I guess I was.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
Gonna say, you do a lot. You haven't updated your
Instagram accounts zero posts, jesus.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
But the writer did ask like, is this could we
also conceive of this as a phase of life thing?
Is it even something that's worth you know, fixing. I
don't necessarily think it's not that. It could be a
phase of life thing. It could be a personality trait thing.
I am neurotic. Like if I am not working or
doing something or solving a problem, if I'm just left
to my own thoughts, I'm not good at self entertaining

(51:18):
every project I put my hand to. It only feels
like it has value if it's somehow a work related product,
you know. Like And so that's why pod therapy is great,
because like I can come hang out with people and
have a good time with you guys. But I feel
like we're doing a version of our jobs where we're
educating the public. We're creating a public resource, and like

(51:38):
we have this cool discord and like there's fun things
that come out of it. But like it's adjacent enough
to work life that I can justify it, because I
think if we were just fucking showing up and doing
like a podcast on sports or something like that, I
don't think I would have stuck to it for eight years.
I think I'd have been like, I can't justify this anymore.
Like I have to go do things that apply my
knowledge of my career in that direction, otherwise I feel

(51:59):
it's waste my time. But like I like the idea
of engineering things as you were suggesting, to fill that void,
to have something to go to and just doing as
much of that as you can handle, you know, But
at the end of the day, like waking up and
churning out emails at three am, I don't know. Like
sometimes anxiety is a superpower. It's like this fuel that
just causes you to do.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
Things that other people aren't motivated to do. I mean,
so you and I both have to fill that spare
time with something, right, So, like I think that we
have in common because like even people talking about, you know,
TV shows or something that they've been watching recently, in
my mind, like when I hear that, I'm like, how
the fuck do you guys find the time to watch?

(52:41):
Because like I just don't have time to watch TV,
so I have to fill that time with something. Now,
you do something that is work adjacent or right outside
that box, whereas for me, I have to find something
that's way away from it. Okay, so I think we
were both kind of swimming in the same sea, but

(53:02):
we've just got completely.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Found different mechanisms. Yeah, I do. I do have to
do some of that. Like when I do get away
from work and like do something completely different. I'll play
some video games. I told Eddie his therapy video games though.
Yeah right, yeah, therapist simulator. Yeah, let's fucking start that
game tomorrow. That would be so much fun. You earn
elbow patches, yeah, different tweed skins, you get to decorate

(53:28):
your office, like you know. It's like, oh dude, this
would totally be a thing.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
It would be so funny.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
So I was watching something on TV and it was
bus Driver Simulator twenty one. Like there's been that many
bus driver simulators. Like this isn't getting out of control.
But like for me, I'll play some video games. I
will uh. Oh, I was gonna tell you. I was
telling Eddie about how you play Madden and he's like, oh,
that's cool it Nick plays video games is like hold
on Like Nick thoroughly reads the terms and conditions like

(53:55):
or he's like sitting there playing manager office managers into
like getting into the trade like policies like is never
actually get the throw button in the game, like his
quarterback has never taken a snap?

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Like no idea is it?

Speaker 1 (54:07):
But no? Like are all of a sudden like sci
fi books or like get involved in UNLV sports and
that culture which is but it's work adjacent right, Like
UNLV stuff is a huge hobby for me, but it's
also a thing I do, you know, and like it's
part of like who I am professionally.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
So yeah, dude, it's hard. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
I don't want to work at UNLV for people who
don't know. Yeah, in case they were not aware, I
also get to do that.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
I think a hobby where other people need you there. Okay,
I think because you got travel and everything, travel is
a great hobby. You can't most people don't have time
to do it every weekend. Even if you have the
resources and everything to do it every weekend, you just
don't have the time to.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
Yeah, So I think.

Speaker 3 (54:47):
You need a hobby, like a team sport okay, where
you just go play basketball.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
Yeah, but it's softball league.

Speaker 3 (54:55):
If i'm if I'm not there, there's only four people
on the court. Yeah, So like that, I got my
buddies are there. They're counting on me to be there.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
So I'm doing I joined a pool league for a
couple of years, and that was exactly it.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Something like he was expecting that'd be great. Had to
be there.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
It doesn't have to be sports. It could be board games,
it could be video games. It could be fucking LARPing. Yeah,
it could be you could you could cross it if
you could. If everyone could just start doing Gym's forty
by forty lists, So that should be it.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
It should be the home edition. It should be Jim's
forty by forty, the home edition.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
You do it, You're we should do it by forty one,
forty by forty one. Yeah, Jim versus the world.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
No, we need to source my list. You can help
me get these things. If you swim with dolphins, take
a picture of it, and I get it off the card. Okay,
like I need the whole ship group to do this.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
You don't get jack shit.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
I failed. We tried it my way. I think that
didn't work.

Speaker 3 (55:48):
I think the pop therapy listeners get their own forty
by forty card whatever we want.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
But then it's basically the same thing. They're just they're
just doing it. They're they're crossing things off the list.
And here's the game I think we play. I think
we can do it in under a week.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
With the listeners they get forty days.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
I don't think forty days. I bet we can. I
bet with a little bit of.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Thought in this somebody who's not me, because I'm not
gonna do it, but yeah, somebody out there I could
think about this and assign these tasks and we can
knock them all out in a week.

Speaker 4 (56:21):
I figured it out. We just have to make all
the tasks work related. So like swimming with dolphins is.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Like doing therapy therapy dolphins, right, and then so the
writer driven therapy sorpis driven therapy. Yeah, the writer should
be a dolphin lawyer. It's like a lawyer that is
a dolphin or represents dolphins, yes either way, yeah both,

(56:47):
or a dolphin lawyer that only represents dolphins. Yeah, you're
on all right, it's like a.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
Question in therapy.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
But you right, dolphins, I'm not telling but on the
same trail as the horses walk. It is painful to watch.
We go through a lot of dolphins on this Foker.

Speaker 6 (57:12):
I'm not making any money off this progress. I'm gonna
buy dolphins. The cost on these dolphins is killing the
These dolphins bleed so much.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
They don't tell you that.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
And flipper they do not feature dophin. It is ridiculous,
so hard.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
Now, did you know you can't even buy a dolphin leash.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
I have to make my own, make my own, and
I had to show the dolphins. It's just they hate it.
I hate the thing I have to flip their flippers. No,
it took a dark turn.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
That took a very dark turn.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Why do you people listen to this jow I get
this point. You're either in er you're out all.

Speaker 4 (58:03):
I thought it was dumb and dumber with the pretty.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
Bird pretty Bird PD's head fell off.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
Not that we can.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
I think we could do forty things easily at all.
I think we could do Jim's entire list in a week.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
I think it would be a really fun home edition
game where it's Jim's forty by forty, where the entire
Discord community combines together to knock out the whole list
in forty days, and they just all take it on
and somebody has to get one piece of it, and
they just I'll bet you they could do it anyway.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
Writer, this is a tough one.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
I feel like in some cases you are wired this way,
and I don't want to pathologize that. But just because
something is authentically true about us and we are wired
a certain way doesn't mean that we also don't need
to learn how to restrain that right. And so like
for me, I've had to engineer opportunities as Jacob suggested,
and put myself in obligations that caused me to socialize

(58:51):
because on my default is I will never fucking leave
the house. But if I don't come do this podcast,
you three are gonna text me and go, you're best shit,
you need get your fat ass over here.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Instead, I have to come do it.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
And so, like, you know, just find friends that will shame.
We do a lot. It's just the number one thing anytime.
Yeah late, Yeah, you're tardy because you're fat.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
You know that, right, you get stuck in the door.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
I stuck fat, just stopping by out bigger sized pants. Yeah,
So I think finding those obligations roll them in. But yeah,
finding obligations, I think designing those breaks and then you
know the therapeutic side. I think that's value too. I
don't want, I don't mind that my anxiety motivates me
to do things. Where it becomes an unhelpful amount of

(59:38):
anxiety is when it starts to sabotage me by making
me feel like I'm never good enough or I haven't
done enough, or causing me to catastrophize. And once I
start spiraling, I'm less effective at my jobs, I'm less
like optimized, and now I'm increasing my units of suffering unnecessarily.
That's the part I want to guard against. For you, writer,
if you feel like your social life is dried up,

(59:59):
I feel like you're not putting time into your life priorities,
sitting down doing the values inventory on those things and
then going through each value and identifying what tangible steps
can I do to increase my pursuit and presence on
these values? How do I spend time? What kind of
investment are you willing to make in this? You know

(01:00:20):
it's a good question.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Invest in yourself? Yes. In patre dot com, slash.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
D's nuts, Patreon dot com slash therapy. But yeah, I
think that's the great starting point. But then guarding against
like the pathological thinking using things that come out of
cognitive behavioral therapy, learning to write, size these things, challenge
these things, take these thoughts to court, which will do
well for you as a lawyer.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Those are the tricks. And so if you haven't already
done some.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
CBT, I thought like leaving your phone outside your room, those.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Are great things. Yeah, we call those interference patterns and
that's a really.

Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
Good movie, Like, so way to go at just leaving
your phone outside your fucking room.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Yeah, don't smash the laptop if it's expense of No,
I don't think that's a good idea. Go get a
blueberry or BlackBerry?

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Is that what it's called good?

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Get some blueberries, Go get some blueberry feeling. Yeah, I
think you should have to downgrade your tech.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
And that would just lay you down.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
So there's good Yeah, thumb typing lego the fucking clamshell,
doing T nine texting, that would slow you down.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
That'll your messages get way the shorter. After that, it's
a lot of k.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Yeah, we're gonna take quick break and when we come back,
we're talking about sex with chronic pain. You're listening to
pod therapy?

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Oh is that what that title is supposed to be? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
likely I remember that. Okay, yeah, okay, good Yeah. Today's
episode is brought to you by j Schneider, Carolyn Albert,
Same You, Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike Helm, Darius Cunningham, Cody
the the Lowering Guy, Brady Mala, Max the Gender Scoop,
Elli O'Dare, and Amy our Wood, Mark Hardvart Nope, got it?

(01:01:57):
Would you like sponsored show to come a therapy? Not
slash that she signed number.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
She knew what she was doing. Okay, Jacob, you're up
all right. The year is nineteen eighty five.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
The president is Ronald Reagan. Nintendo Entertainment System.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
Ooh damn dude, Yeah, what was the launch?

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
I actually remember this? Oh man, this was I shouldn't
have said.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Break out five dude, Oh my god, I wonder what
it was.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
Yeah, you changed the genre with this one man. One
hundred twenty three dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Ooh in nineteen eighty five dollars. Nineteen eighty five dollars. Well,
now that you've told us the inflation, that really does
help me. Like that, I know that seventy five is
two hundred something now in the eighties, it's.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Okay because I don't think you know what the Nintendo costs.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Yeah, anyway, so you're thinking so then translated to now
you're approximately guessing about three hundred something dollars and today.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
So sure, okay, all right, so you're going one two five.
I'm going what I say, one, one two three. I
think I said one two three. It's one two three.
Nicked passes to you ninety nine dollars nine nine cents.
That's my guess. That feels not anne not a none.
So are we factoring in pretext? That's whatever the answer
says it?

Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
All right, all right, I think I'm gonna take the
over on this.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Uh, give me one fifty about one thing.

Speaker 4 (01:03:22):
I'm going highmm, I'm gonna guess one hundred.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
Way to fuck him in the mouth. It turns out
it doesn't matter because I apparently miss remembered this because
I thought it was one hundred dollars. Because I remember
my sister and I forging a plan because we wanted this,
and my parents are like, no, it's too expensive. And
then so we sat down and we tried to do
the budget for the family and figure out where we

(01:03:50):
squeezed this money out. And I was thinking it was
like exactly one hundred dollars, but according to this is
not It is one ninety.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Oh Jim getsym Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:04:02):
Yeah, all right, two hundred.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
Boy, what is that in day's money? Highest nobody can
do that math highest recorded price.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
That one sold forever. Yeah, yeah, wactionable. It's gonna be collectible.
I'm gonna get well, who's going first on this one?

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
Go for yeah, since you got the point, all right,
thank you? All right, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go
fifteen thousand.

Speaker 4 (01:04:26):
Oh I was gonna go ten, so I'll stick with
that dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Good guess ten dollars, ten dollars thousand, your honor. I
don't believe that's what she said.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
Please go fifteen thousand and one dollar. Okay. Well, since
the original retail price was one ninety nine, I'm just
gonna say ninety nine, you're going down.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
Yep, went less? Okay, the highest selling one that was.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
Highest the.

Speaker 4 (01:04:57):
Just depreciation.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Oh my god. A factory sealed Anys.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Deluxe factory sealed.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
From nineteen eighties, sold at the Heritage Auctions in twenty
twenty three for one hundred and twenty thousand dollars. Jacob
ja Jacob, Jacob's got it with that A dollar more
than Jim, like an asshole. Okay, winning's winning my turn.
Nineteen eighty nine. Nintendo game Boy with Tetris.

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
I loved my game Yellow one Do Doo doo.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
I'll just tell you this right now. I did make
this purchase when this came out. Okay, I'm going to
reh go with my guests again. Ninety nine, ninety nine.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
Okay, so it had to be cheaper than the Neys.
Oh man, Okay, I'm going to say seventy five bucks.

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Okay, Okay, I's going right back up to that NEYS price.
That's about where I want be.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
It's like one thirty.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
Jacob gets to get or no gym. Game Boy in
Tetris nineteen eighty nine, about ninety dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
Yeah, so I went over because I said I went over.
Maybe it was a game boy that you and your
sister wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:06:18):
No, it was definitely the NES of course when we
wanted it. Okay, So that came out eighty five, This
is Iowa. So we didn't get one probably till nineteen
ninety two.

Speaker 4 (01:06:29):
Yeah, you're definitely behind it was.

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
Yeah, that's probably you just your timeline's off, but your
everything else is correct. Also, have you heard of this
Iowa musical that's that's out shucked? Yeah? Have you seen this?

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Oh? I have seen that? Is that an Iowa thing
as a comedy musical about corn Corn Farman? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
Oh fuck yeah, yeah, this is absolutely in your ballpark?

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Is getting because we were just yeah yeah in the shock.

Speaker 2 (01:07:00):
Laura and I just this weekend went to the Lion
King at the Smith Center, and I saw it in
the playbill or whatever, saw the advertisement.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Oh, I'm definitely it's never been more in hell. Yeah,
excited about that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Okay, highest recorded price ever for a game.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
Boy, all right, I'm gonna go. So the last one
was one hundred thousand dollars. Let's I'll bet you it's
actually way up there, factory sealed, all the fixings in there.
Give me, give me ninety thousand dollars.

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
Oh, fifteen fifty zero zero zero zero one dollar.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
All right, it goes lowball.

Speaker 1 (01:07:47):
Two dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Fucking thought about do it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
Thought, I'll go ten dollars more than fair, more than
he deserves.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
Nine thousand.

Speaker 1 (01:08:02):
They got it, that's right, and smart move there. Yeah, cool,
all right, cool man. That was a great game. Also,
Game Boy Tetris one of the most annoying games in
all the fucking history. Just so so discouraging hate.

Speaker 2 (01:08:18):
You're just bad at it, horrible.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
Absolutely. I did like Doctor Mario. That was pretty cool.
That was when we had to like match the pill colors,
but it's basically Tetris. Yeah, that was pretty cool. I
like that one. Sex with chronic pain, hy'all. I don't
know how else to start this, so I'll just jump
right in. I feel like a monster. My fiance has

(01:08:40):
chronic hip and back pain for many years from a
car accident, and it stopped our sex life to a
grinding halt. We both are in our early forties, and
I know it's normal to have some aches and pains
at this sage, but this has been a problem for
most of our relationship, and since I lost a ton
of weight, I've had a major boost at my sex drive,
and this has negatively impacted my relationship. I empathize that

(01:09:04):
she's in pain, but I miss being intimate. She won't
talk about it very often, but every once in a
while she'll open up about her pain and how it's
affected us as a couple, then starts crying. That makes
me feel even worse about wanting to be close with her.
We both want the same things out of the relationship,
but she has anxiety about hurting herself even more, which

(01:09:24):
is understandable or disappointing to me. I've reassured her that
I am in it for the long haul and just
want to figure out a solution. But I feel like
a monster when I get frustrated with the situation. I
get so anxious. I say and think things to myself that,
if acted upon, would be the end of our relationship.
A few weeks ago, I had a dream I cheated

(01:09:46):
on her, and I feel sick about it. I know
it didn't happen, but I still feel guilty. My fiancee
is my world and would never do anything to upset
or hurt her on purpose. What can couple therapy or
sex therapy combined with her regular pain management doctor possibly achieve?

(01:10:07):
Am I a monster for having these thoughts and feelings
when she is in so much pain? There's probably more
I can write, but the more I do, the more
upset with myself I get, so I'll sign off for now.
Thank you for your advice, and please don't judge me
too harshly, Signed Anonymous.

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
There's no judgment, no, I.

Speaker 2 (01:10:27):
Honestly this is like, uh, you shouldn't be judging this either,
Like we're not going to judge you, but I don't
think you should either, because this is a your sex
drive is a part of your brain. You don't have
control over that. It's something that obviously you you control
whether or not you act on it, right, But like
if you have a dream that you cheated, right, that's

(01:10:51):
just that part of the brain that's trying to get
you to like, hey, we need to procreate.

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
If you go to bed starving and you dream about cake, like, yeah,
I don't think you should be wondering what the moral
implications are, right, that are Like, it's actually pretty simple.
I don't know what kind of cake. Oh yeah, I
think it's the cake. I think it's the cake next store.
I'll tell you that it's that big ass cake next door.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:11:14):
Cake is always out there, those weeds and those tight pants.

Speaker 4 (01:11:17):
You know, the cake is always greener.

Speaker 2 (01:11:20):
The cake is always greener on the other side.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
But sorry, you stepped down your point you were saying,
don't judge yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
Yeah, I think this is a normal reaction, Like you
can't you can't be upset with your yourself for your
brain doing what your brain is wired to do.

Speaker 4 (01:11:37):
Yeah, to be intimate with your fiance someone you love
like that, that's a good thing, even it's just hard
that there are barriers in the way of that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
Oh, don't don't say hard. Yeah, no, it's very very insensitive. Yeah,
come on, I apologize for Whitnes. It's a family show,
you know.

Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
I think we've told you that it was in your contract.

Speaker 2 (01:12:00):
Yeah, yeah, honestly I do see also from you know,
the writer's perspective that like this is a real catch
twenty two because it's like this is a human need,
it's a desire that the writer has, it needs, you know,
it's this itch that has to be scratched somehow. But

(01:12:21):
yet knowing if I bring it up, I'm making the
situation worse, I'm making it more complicated, I'm putting more pressure,
you know. And the thing with you know, not just
with sex, but with anybody who's dealing with chronic pain.
One of the biggest struggles with that is not just
the pain but the anxiety about creating payass, you know,

(01:12:42):
and that by itself is debilitating, you know, where you
just don't want to do anything that could possibly trigger
a pain reaction.

Speaker 1 (01:12:52):
Yes, thank you for asking. Yeah, so, since I injured
my back on Friday and then went to Reno with
my best friend from college, have not fucked. I'm going
to be honest. He didn't touch me the whole time,
and that's sad.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
Well, yeah, it was. You treat him to a trip
to to Reno.

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
Yeah, I take him to Samana, you know, I mean
I think I sold it pretty hard here.

Speaker 2 (01:13:18):
You know, I was not playing hard to get. Let's
let's put it that way. I'm bringing a big ass.

Speaker 1 (01:13:22):
Hat handy though, right, But no, not even one, not
on my birth day. We called that inconsiderate. That's, you know,
different time. It was a different time, back when Manhattan integrity.

Speaker 2 (01:13:36):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
We knew how to treat a guy, back when men
had soft penises because we had all masturbated each other. Yeah. No,
But so I was thinking about this movie called Love
and Other Drugs with Jake Jolly.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
Remember the soil the other drug as heroin there it is.

Speaker 1 (01:13:58):
Yeah, Jake Jillen Hall is I don't remember who the
actress was. It might be in Hathaway, Yeah, I think
you might be it so's she's got a chronic illness.
I don't remember what it is, something akin to like MS.
And Jake is a player and kind of a playboy,
but he kind of really falls for her and they're
really connected and he's like wow, like for the first time,
I'm like really into this girl and not think about

(01:14:19):
other girls anymore. And he starts really bonding with her.
She discovers that she's ill. He starts going with her
to like support meetings and trying to learn more about
this and get involved in her life. And one day
he's at a support meeting where she and the other
people that live with this illness are in a room
talking privately, and the spouses and partners are all kind
of also talking privately, like in a hallway, and this

(01:14:40):
older guy who's been married to his wife for years
with this he talks to Jake, Jill Andhall and Jake's
kind of asking him like, hey man, you know, and
Jake's kind of upbeat about it, like it's really great
to meet you, like I'm glad we're all here for
each other.

Speaker 2 (01:14:51):
You know, do you have any advice?

Speaker 1 (01:14:52):
Man, I'm just like, I'm new to this, you know,
like this is a new story for me. What advice
do you have? And the guy looks at him and
says data healthy girl say is don't do this to yourself.
And it's an interesting scene though, because the guy doesn't
come off as a moment go to law school. Yeah,
don't go to law school. The guy doesn't come off
as a monster like you can see. This is a
very complex acting scene where Jake is sort of looking
at him like, are you being a dick?

Speaker 2 (01:15:13):
Like, don't tell me to break up my girlfriend? Asshole?

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
Like she's going through a lot and I'm here from
But then, like Jake also sees in this man's face
that he's been on the front lines of suffering through
this for a very long time.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
It is complicated.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
He's a human too, and this guy is like, honestly,
the advice I would have is you're not yet signed
up for this. I think that you should consider if
this is going to be sustainable for you and if
this is going to work. Now, that sounds dark, That
does not sound very encouraging on a therapy show. But
I just want to appreciate that's the depth of complexity
that we might be talking about here, And I don't

(01:15:45):
want to take it lightly because a lot of people
one of the things that doesn't get discussed a lot
in premarital work and lining up relationships is like sexual
compatibility and libido and like, are we at a similar
level as the Vendia Graham overlapped enough that we're gonna
be okay and we're not going to like resent each
other or cause harm in our relationship, And like a

(01:16:07):
larger percentage in American history than ever before are opening
up to things like ethical nonogamy and polyamory and things
like that, which I think is a sign of the times.
But I just think it opens up this deeper conversation
of like, if you know upfront that like we systemically
fundamentally may never be able to share this part of
our relationship. I just want to give the writer permission

(01:16:31):
to struggle with that. I don't want this to just
have to be rolled in sugar and we're always like
there's always a way around it. Why don't you try
these five practical things. I just want to be honest,
to be like, you're allowed you're allowed to say this
is big enough that gives We're.

Speaker 3 (01:16:44):
Going to recommend a sex robot in a minute. Okay,
but but just keep in mind it is perfectly fine. Yeah, yeah,
to have these fews, you.

Speaker 2 (01:16:50):
Just print a picture of your wife's face, you know,
staple at on the road. The sex robot's going to
have a built in printer.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
Oh okay, great, yeah, come part because when the printer jams, exactly,
you jam the p.

Speaker 4 (01:17:02):
Clear it out, clear it out.

Speaker 1 (01:17:04):
You know the difference between jam and jelly though, no jelly,
my dick and a printer. So I just wanted to acknowledge, like,
how serious you know this? This challenge can really be,
especially when it's a medical condition, because we see couples
all the time that are like they've grown apart, they
have different interests.

Speaker 2 (01:17:24):
But for writer to.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
Say, look, I've lost a bunch of wait, like I
really want this part of our relationship and I'm not
sitting here. We had a writer a couple of weeks
ago talking about how they're really sexually fascinating with a
lot of other people and their sex drives off the rails.
Right now, this writer saying I want my wife or
I want my fiance. I want her, but her medical
challenges pretty much make that impossible. And I just want

(01:17:47):
to wrestle with that, right Like I want to wrestle
with what that must be like for the writer and
how trite advice might sound whenever it's like, well, try
try getting a softer pillow, try getting a pelvic cushion, try,
you know, like there may not be a solution.

Speaker 4 (01:18:02):
Well, I think that the writer brought up a great
question that can can really help with a solution, and
that's a couple's therapy or really sex therapy. And I
know on our patreon content, I know you interviewed Jonathan. Yeah,
and yeah, I don't know. I wasn't a Patreon back then.
I'm still not so I didn't hear it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
But if you go to our patreon, you can search
the directory and there's a section with interviews, and there's
one with Nick and Jonathan Sena I think it is
his name, John Cena.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know why we talked about.

Speaker 1 (01:18:37):
There's a lot of sex talk with a guy who
really isn't famous.

Speaker 4 (01:18:41):
For that, A lot.

Speaker 2 (01:18:46):
A lot of that.

Speaker 1 (01:18:47):
It's really just weird, weird interview. There's a lot of
grunting sounds on the microphone.

Speaker 4 (01:18:52):
Jonathan is a certified a SECT therapist.

Speaker 1 (01:18:56):
Yeah, the Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors and things.

Speaker 4 (01:18:59):
Yeah, and to say, and I know that when I
have had clients who have different like sexual things come up,
that is something if if we're getting into like an
area that maybe I don't have as much experience with
or working with clients with, I will let them know
or ask them first, like are you okay if I

(01:19:21):
staff this with you know, my a peer of mine
who's a sex therapist, and they're always okay with that. Yeah,
but I have gotten great feedback, great information if I
already have the rapport established and this isn't their prime
my client's primary concern, but it is helpful in our
time together and our treatment, that can be very helpful.
But I would say something like this where the primary

(01:19:44):
issue is like how do we overcome this? Putting it
on a third party. You're a sex therapist who is
going to be very professional. There will be zero judgments
about anything you've shared in here at zero judgment. They
have seen it all, they have heard at all. They
are trained. They get extra like an extra five thousand
hours or some shit to be a a certified sex therapist.

(01:20:07):
It's like, maybe it's not five thousand, but thousands of hours.

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
It's a specialty.

Speaker 1 (01:20:11):
It is a specialty.

Speaker 2 (01:20:12):
They do some extra work, yes, they do.

Speaker 4 (01:20:14):
They do and work. Yes. So I would say reaching out.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
To an a sect. I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:23):
There's a lot of people will just throw it out there,
I'm a sex specially. I don't like that. Yeah, go
to AA sect. There's a directory that you can search
in there with all the registered sex therapists in the community,
and they are the ones saying no, these people have
met this credentialing standard. I also like it because they
are very careful with their ethical codes and how they're

(01:20:45):
applying it. Where there's kind of like this new wave
of like sex positive therapists that are really skirting some
very gray lines as far as how involved in the
couple's life they're doing. I've even seen things like snuggle
therapy and shit, where they're doing like cuddling exercises, like
and like I've seen this on porn hub, you know,
but I didn't know that that was like people are
getting paid for this.

Speaker 2 (01:21:03):
Fantastic dude.

Speaker 4 (01:21:04):
Peter just said the other days, if you died I'd
have to pay someone to come cuddle with me because
he's such like so like, that's.

Speaker 1 (01:21:10):
What's the rate?

Speaker 2 (01:21:11):
Let him know, we'll put it on the patreo.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
Yeah yeah, yeah, like let's we can absolutely get Yeah yeah,
well just now, Whitney, I don't know, like you know,
sometimes I don't know how long you've got.

Speaker 2 (01:21:22):
So yeah, go on, take care of yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:21:26):
I told I told him, I was like, you can
just date someone else if I you don't have to.

Speaker 1 (01:21:31):
Guys, price is right cuddling Pete.

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
All right, so we've gone what's the number in nineteen
eighty seven?

Speaker 1 (01:21:40):
What is one night of cuddling? You don't have to
sleep over, though, do you. I don't think you have
sleep I think you have to help him fall asleep.
And then you quietly get who's paying? Who do you
pay to snuggle with Peter? Or is Peter pay you
to snuggle?

Speaker 2 (01:21:51):
I mean, if it's me, I'll pay. I'll pay the pet.

Speaker 1 (01:21:55):
Money making I get a piece of Pete. I bet
I can make an offer. I'll take a few in there.

Speaker 2 (01:21:59):
We've gone on from save Peter hashtags save Peter.

Speaker 1 (01:22:02):
We're trying to help him.

Speaker 2 (01:22:04):
We're planning It's still part of Peter.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
Stuggle.

Speaker 3 (01:22:10):
Peter, Yeah, Peter, Pete.

Speaker 1 (01:22:14):
Snuggling, Snuggling and Pete. I love it. It's Whitney's personal hashtag.

Speaker 2 (01:22:20):
P the Snuggler College Pen the Snuggler.

Speaker 1 (01:22:25):
I don't know where we're at, but no, okay, So,
but sex therapist is a legitimate thing.

Speaker 2 (01:22:30):
I like it through a sect. I think that's a
great idea.

Speaker 1 (01:22:33):
One thing that I've always been really impressed with our
sex therapist colleagues. It isn't that like when it comes
to their ability to do therapeutic skills, I think that
they're just about with everybody else. But their level of
education and understanding different solutions to sexual challenges are very nuanced.
And like their understanding of sexual health is also very nuanced,

(01:22:55):
even down to things like how nerves work and like
what might not elicit.

Speaker 4 (01:22:59):
Pain, I mean mental health connections. Yeah, I mean you're
you're uh yeah pain, chronic pain in the body and
how that affects your sex life and just your mental
health in general. So all of us tied together and
they're very in tune with all of those things.

Speaker 1 (01:23:14):
Like it's yeah, and one thing I've I've seen some
conferences that were like on some of these topics about
like how to find common ground, especially when there's medical issues,
like and there's you go to a sex conferences and
like that. This is one of the topics is like
how to you know, encourage healthy sexuality in people like
double imputees. It's like very specific stuff. You're like, wow, okay,
Like but that's the work they're doing. Like they're really

(01:23:36):
getting into the weeds. They're asking hard questions and trying
to come up with really great ideas. Please don't say
hard there it is, but you know, like with uh,
with this kind of stuff too, police equally.

Speaker 4 (01:23:45):
Yeah, it's like no double stand that's fair enough.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
Writer's fiance has hip and back problems, and sexuality can
be expressed with more than just intercourse, right, And so
like sometimes it's about can we find ways to experience
each other sexually that's fulfilling and something that's rewarding. We're
both looking forward to it and it doesn't like hurt you, right,
and like maybe there are ways that do Maybe intercourse
might not really be available. And there are people that

(01:24:10):
have vaginal pain and things like that that are not
caused by a car accident, Like there are all kinds
of issues, and sometimes they say, look, I do want
to be intimate with you. I want you to come
to me with those needs. I don't want you going
to bed hungry, fantasizing about other women, like, but like,
let's find ways that I can meet those needs that
don't cause me pain. And I think that that's something
to explore as well, which I'm sure is low hanging fruit.

(01:24:32):
You know, I'm sure the couple's already thought.

Speaker 4 (01:24:33):
Thoughts of these kinds of things, and I surprised.

Speaker 2 (01:24:36):
Yeah, and to me, that would be the benefit of
talking to a therapist. Yeah, it's because yeah, well yeah,
and I want to be able for a conversation. How
do I That's what I would want to know from
a therapist is how do I have this conversation in
a way that doesn't put more stress on my fiance, right,
but still is able. You know, I can still express

(01:24:59):
what's going on on with me. You know that's a
tough one. Well, that's where I would want.

Speaker 1 (01:25:03):
Here's where I worry the most. I worry that writer
is getting anxious and frustrated and self hating and believes
that writer is a monster and is internalizing this tension
because they do not want to bring their needs to
their partner because that feels fundamentally unfair, and they feel
empathetic to their partner's physical and emotional suffering. And this

(01:25:26):
is a recipe that leads to resentment. This is a
recipe that leads to poison in writer's spirit, where they
get married and they just try to give abundantly and
take care of their partner and their needs don't get met,
and they're like, it's okay, because I would be a
bad person for having those needs. I'd be a bad
person for wanting those things. I won't bring it up
because I don't want her to feel ashamed of it.
I don't even want to bother her with this topic

(01:25:47):
because it makes her feel less than an uncomfortable I
don't want her to. And it's like, boy, is that
a bad seed to plant? That is going to produce
some toxic fruit. And that's why I love the idea
of doing a couple's therapy, the sex therapy. Get this
on the table and if you're scared to bring it
up directly, let the therapist bring it up. And a
lot of people when they sit in therapy, they're very

(01:26:08):
adult about it and they're willing to. You know, they
know it's healthcare. They know we can have hard conversations.
They know we're solutions focused. We're not here to firm conversations.
They know that we can have phallic, extended conversation, realid
yeah yeah, real solid, mainy yeah, conciny well he won.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
Yeah, big.

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
Meaty conversations. Yeah, that's what therapy is all about.

Speaker 4 (01:26:39):
So yes, make sure they are a certified sex therapist. Yeah,
because anyone can say they are a sex therapy So definitely.

Speaker 1 (01:26:45):
I think we're all encouraging you going to a couple's therapy,
going to sex therapy. Combining that with an expert is
I think really really helpful. And I love that you're
also going to see a pain management doctor. I think
that's really helpful. A lot of pain management doctors have
thoughts on this. Sometimes they're like, look, I deal with
back pain, I don't talk a lot about the Kama Sutra.
I don't know what to tell you, and so sometimes

(01:27:05):
they're advice. That's what doctor says. Stop writing me. I've
told you how did you get my personal Yahoo account?
This is the last time I'm gonna tell you. Read
the season desayst so yeah, I mean I think that
that's where a sex counselor or a couple's counselor is
gonna have a lot more help, even if they're not
a sex specialist, because sometimes that is a hard discipline
to find, just doing the couple's therapy and getting it out,

(01:27:29):
talking about this, not letting this just be this unspoken
thing because you think this makes you a monster. You're
not a monster for having needs. It's okay. And if
we bury that and we create a norm in your
relationship where your needs go unmet and you feel shame
or guilt for bringing them up, and that might cause
your partner to feel like you should feel shame or
guilt for bringing this up. She notices that you get

(01:27:50):
weird when you bring it up, and like, this is
going to create this weird cycle in your relationship where
sex is this third fucking rail that doesn't get talked
about and you're internalizing this and it's not going to
be good for your marriage. So at a minimum, I
want you in couple's therapy telling them she's been through
a lot, we're trying to have a full and complete relationship,
we have real barriers to that, and let them guide

(01:28:12):
you through that. At a minimum, you should be at
least talking about it, even if there's not a solution.
Talking about the problem without feeling shame or guilt is important.

Speaker 3 (01:28:20):
I was going to say, just getting to the point
where you can have discussions about it is you know, that.

Speaker 1 (01:28:26):
Would be huge, penetrating discussion, you penetrating. We need a
dialogue and intercourse if you will, you know, we we
need that because that's right, I mean, supple conversations, myologies.

Speaker 2 (01:28:45):
We're truth just squirts.

Speaker 1 (01:28:47):
Okay, We're going to take a quick break, and when
we come back, we are Now you're okay, why are
you disgusting? You can you jesus, Where's take quick break
and when we come back, we're wrapping up the show.
You are listening to the final episode of thirty nine
year old Gym's Back There.

Speaker 2 (01:29:08):
Today's episode was brought to you by Judy Schmiderley Okasan
Carolyn Albert, Sammy Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike, Tom, Derek Hunningham
Fordy The The Laurent Guy, Brady Malahus, Max the Junior
Scoop Elly, Oh, dear Amy our Woodmark. I'm getting I'm
going to get that.

Speaker 1 (01:29:23):
I really don't want you to.

Speaker 2 (01:29:24):
I think you get the smiles to the showy spose,
go to Patreon dot com slash therapy and slign up
to become a therapies.

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
When we started in your see invest When we started
the show, I guess I was thirty two? Is that
that right? We started January of twenty eighteen. Wow, so
I would have just turned thirty two. I guess five minus.

Speaker 2 (01:29:44):
Just turned forty three. What I gotta know? Thanks, real tired,
so tired.

Speaker 4 (01:29:52):
We didn't have all the names.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
I'm forty four. Yeah, we're gonna get you next week.
Next week we would have this is the spot. We
would have thanked all of our therapy.

Speaker 1 (01:30:02):
Investors, investors, the investors circle, Yeah, like they do on NPR.

Speaker 2 (01:30:09):
Yeah, yeah, that's the best. But since I've been up
since four, we didn't uh, we didn't do that. But
we got a new therapod welcome, PE's and clams. Oh
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:30:22):
Okay, very good invest in yourself. So as we wrap
up the show, we do want to remind you can
sign up a Patreon dot com slash therapy and you
can get our extended show ad free a day earlier,
as well as an archive of deep dives, reviews, skill shares,
research roundups, interviews we have got. I mean it's a lot.

(01:30:42):
It's probably over one hundred hours of content that really
is timeless because it wasn't like attached to politics or
news of the day. It's deep dives into a lot
of like pathology, therapy skills, like history of things.

Speaker 2 (01:30:58):
It's really really deep. I have a really a good interview. Actually,
it's a series that's going to be coming out. I've
recorded one of them already, actually about a month ago.
Still I still have not had a chance to actually
go in and post it yet, but I'm really excited
about it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:17):
So stay just with whatever contractor shows up. He's just
putting a microphone on.

Speaker 4 (01:31:21):
Yeah, the emotional toll about.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
Being a paint, different types of I'm getting. I'm getting
an estimate on some uh some carpet and I'm going
to record that. Yeah, honestly, there's gonna be some visuals,
but I'm going to try to describe it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:35):
As if you live streamed doing your house, doing the
renovations and ship. Our patron would fucking love it. They
would just say, oh, yeah, I have I should should Yes,
you should do it or just tell your stories, all right,
So here's what I'm working on. And just like just

(01:31:56):
the tool belt, just it is with socks I'm gonna
and a hard hat that's a work sox, work booths, hat,
safety glasses, indian feathers. You know, are we just going
through the YMCI said, Okay, sorry I missed the bed.
But anyway, if you go to patreon dot com slash therapy,
you can find a lot, a whole library of things

(01:32:18):
we have created over eight years of doing this show.

Speaker 2 (01:32:20):
She is a hot supple nineteen year old.

Speaker 1 (01:32:23):
And then the stuff that we will continue to create,
you will always get pushed right through to your podcasting feed.
Wherever you're listening to us right now is where you're
going to hear anything else that we create. So it's
not like Patreon becomes this special other website you have
to remember and go log into.

Speaker 2 (01:32:37):
Not at all.

Speaker 1 (01:32:38):
You sign up, it tells you, hey, copy and paste
this code into your system, and from that moment on,
you've got it. And now you can also join our
discord and hang out with our awesome fans as they
are designing our end of season trivia, and you can
contribute to that as well.

Speaker 3 (01:32:52):
When you sign up for Patreon for pod therapy. You
really just want to think of it as the other
items in your portfolio that you don't want to You
don't want to go in and meddle with your portfolio
too often, you're just gonna screw it up. So you
just you make those investments and then you let those
investments just sit there and and gain on themselves, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12):
Really make your money work for you.

Speaker 4 (01:33:14):
There.

Speaker 2 (01:33:15):
It is because that's why I do we should say
that we are fiduciaries.

Speaker 1 (01:33:19):
We only do. Yeah, we're legally obligated to only give
you advice for your best interests.

Speaker 2 (01:33:24):
That's it. That's we are psychological fiduciaries or just douche.
That's a good band name, Douchiaries. No psychological fiduciaries. So
let's throw that in there.

Speaker 1 (01:33:37):
Or it could be an album because we can't keep
changing the name of the band. So that's I think
that's our third album now. Yeah, we can't keep doing this.
We've got too many fucking bands, not enough tracks. That'll
be just a solo project that I do. Okay, you're
gonna help me with ecological fiduciary. I hope it's like jazz,
like I think it needs to be just like out

(01:33:58):
there with the saxophone.

Speaker 3 (01:33:59):
Just this is really inspired by Thelonious Monk. Yes, I
just want to see it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:04):
We'd like to thank the benevolent, revered, generous, and flagrantly
pro Therapy Diehard, who loves you all so much the
gift till it hurts our therap partner Pickett, and we
want to thank our bosses, the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati,
members of the fan Club, the their producers. Thank you,
Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie Junior, Mint, Smitty Scoop, Richard
Fucking' Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia, Leon Cassab Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain,

(01:34:29):
Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Sammy Scoop, Slurpie Kaye, Motherfucker, Ben Stanley,
Slapping your Face, Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, Builer Team, Mike
helm Oscar Swan, Rose paris A, Sonny Boy, Darren Cunningham,
Lib Sandra Mcwoffle Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar, Falcon, Scoop, Heyo, Hannah,
Marie Andrew Langmead, Emma Tonka and Pony Soprano Alina Cody.

(01:34:50):
The Lorian Guy, Brady Malay, Chick Chick Filetio Gabriel of Dame,
Shawn Sutherland, Maxiginger, Scoop, Chad mag Adam Warren, Inkle of Prince,
Sam Combe, Bigay, Do Crimes, l e O Dare, Flipblop
and Amy Ardvark.

Speaker 2 (01:35:05):
And if you'd like to hear this episode uncut and unedited,
and why wouldn't you enjoy our spontaneous side projects, go
to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you for
supporting mental health.

Speaker 1 (01:35:14):
That is all the time we've got for this week session.
We want to thank our landlords, the unnamed studio. I
guess we just refer back to as Jaye.

Speaker 2 (01:35:21):
The Ruckus seen a question like it and things.

Speaker 1 (01:35:23):
Those of you contributed to our show today. We really
appreciate you. Remember pot therapy is not something to keep
hold of yourself. Share this episode with the world tag us,
I'm socials when you do. It's at pot therapy, guys
on Instagram, threads and Twitter. It's slash pot therapy on
Facebook and Blue Sky. And don't forget that it's my
birthday this week. Jump on the discord. Wish me a
happy birthday. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:35:43):
It makes me feel seen.

Speaker 4 (01:35:45):
Do you want to question of the show this.

Speaker 2 (01:35:50):
Story I got broken? Email us at pot Therapy guys
at gmail dot com, or click the link in the
episode description be taken to our anonymous Google forum. I'm Nick,
I'm Jim. Thanks. So listen. If you're next week invest
in your self investments. It's a pyramid scheme.

Speaker 1 (01:36:07):
We should create a Ponzi scheme, a Ponzi scheme of
psychological self investment. Oh my god. We use everybody's investment
to pay off other investments while they're going to ask
the two but then we are not solving.

Speaker 3 (01:36:18):
It makes you feel really good. It makes you feel
happy about yourself. In fact, we're gonna call it the
Fonsie scheme.

Speaker 2 (01:36:23):
There it is.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
Yes, you too could be a cool dude happy. Patreon
dot COM's last therapy. Goodbye, everybody,

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