Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, hello everybody, it's Bishop Dab and I am on
the go, but I'm not going at the moment. I'm
sitting in the post office parking lot in town here.
We don't have mail delivery. We have to come to
the post office to our mailboxes here, which is convenient
because it gets me in town and I get to
say hello to the cenotaph at the end of the
(00:22):
street every day and places buzzing today, a lot of
people from other countries, other languages being spoken. I love
Niagar on the Lake. I just love it in the summer, especially,
except sometimes it's hard to get out of the parking
lot because everybody's walking by. They think this is a
movie set. People think they're you know, the cars aren't
(00:45):
real or something. But many will kind of see that
we're bigger and heading toward them, and they should stop.
But I let as many people buy as I can
because it's a courtesy thing. You want them to have
a lovely experience of being in town here, don't chump.
So yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
About to go back home. I might take the long way.
It is the perfect summer day.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It's actually warm, it's twenty eight degrees, but the breeze
is a little bit cool, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Blown hot air in your face.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
And it's sunny, a little bit overcast actually, but it's
kind of hazy, I guess that would be the word.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It's not stark blue sky. It's got some texture to it.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So been a busy couple of days, had a very
busy weekend, and today I got caught up with some paperwork.
I've got more to do. It's a never ending battle
with me. I just get stuff done, and there's some
more in my inbox.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It's like, oh jeez.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So I've been doing some lovely weddings recently and just
you know, not really having much downtime. To be honest,
I caught up with my soap opera, which I hadn't
seen for about five days.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So I did a bit of a.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Binge mirrthon the other night, just to kind of calm
down and get away from the desk. But oh, all
kinds of good things are happening. So you know, my
sister and I are doing our podcast Just Beachy. Look
it up on YouTube or if you we actually have
a we actually have a Facebook page now and I
(02:30):
think it's just beachy. Maybe with a hyphen Why just
beat you with whitney and depth. If you look at
that up, you should probably hit it. There's nothing on
there yet. I'm gonna That's the next thing I have
to do is put up links to our two episodes.
We've got a third in the can. It's been It's
been a lot of fun. And I'm about to start
another podcast with a friend and I'm excited about that.
(02:53):
And I'm doing this podcast. I am the podcast queen.
Not that we make any money out of this at all,
but it's good. It's good to keep busy. It's good
for me to keep busy. I've had a couple of.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Sad days. Grief is funny.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You know, I'm doing great, I'm going tickety boo, and
then something happens and I just get paralyzed, stop dead
for a bit. And I have some wonderful people that
I can call on and say help. I'm stuck, stuck
in this place, and it's not even grief is weird.
(03:37):
It's about me, right, It's not about the person who's died,
because I know Jean's happy.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
She was peaceful when she died.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
She looked like the weight of the world had been
taken away. It's the people of behind, it's you know, missing,
and it's me. I'm missing her voice. I'm missing our
opera Wednesdays. We used to seeing everything opera. I'm missing
are just you know, the stuff we were working on.
(04:09):
We were working on so many projects. It was ridiculous
the amount of stuff we had on the goal and
a lot of that, you know, is still in her computer.
But it's about me. It's about my emotions and my feelings.
I'm my missing right. So I'm going along great guns,
getting stuff done, feeling in charge, in control, and then
(04:32):
I'm a puddle. I really commiserate with anybody who's suffering
a loss, because it's it's not you know people. Everything's
changed in the world. The whole world has shifted for me,
and I know for a lot of people as well
who loved her.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I remember, you.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Know, just going back to people going coming back to
work after a death in their family.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You know, this is for a month.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I can't even imagine working in a nine to five
job and having you to go back like on the
third day or the next week or something, because your
whole world is different and you need the money and
you know it's your job.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But there should be grief leave.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I don't know if there's such a thing, but I'm
very lucky because I'm home, and you know, I do weddings,
and I do the funerals and the pastoral stuff, and
I'm working on the church things, and I do you know,
there's never any lack of things for me to do.
I'm also in the middle of writing another book and
(05:38):
getting other things organized so that I can put memes
and reels and things online that she and I worked on.
So it's there's never a dull moment in my house.
We are a busy household, and yet you know, once
a day, maybe not as many times, but it hits
(06:03):
me as she's no longer with us. I don't know
if you've had that happen to you, where suddenly you remember.
It's not like you're forgot, but you remember again, and
it's painful. There's that ache, right, So keeping busy, I'm
not running ahead of it or trying to avoid it.
When the feeling comes, I get paralyzed. But I'm in
(06:27):
the feeling and doing some journaling, which is always a
good thing, and you know, just reframing so that I'm
feeling the blessing of it all. Twenty five years, you know,
that's a wonderful length of time to be in somebody's orbit.
(06:48):
I was talking to somebody this morning who said they
think of me and her every day, and you know,
they miss her so much. And there are so many
people who have been touched by her life and the
loved ones that you've lost. How many circles, how many
people did they touch in their life. I mean, we
(07:11):
forget getting hot near, we forget the many people. Maybe
sometimes it's surprising how many people value what we say
or you know, when we're no longer part of the
you know, the orbit of people in circles, then it's
(07:34):
sometimes surprising. I've done many funerals over the years and
people are shocked to see who shows up, you know,
thinking it was going to be a small gathering, and
it's actually turned into quite quite a large group because
they didn't know the other sides of their loved one,
you know, their their organization groups, or their you know,
(07:57):
the charity things that they did, the way that they
touched people and throughout their life. It's it's surprising the
effect we have on it. And that's why I strive
every day to be kind and to be considerate, and
you know, trying not to get caught up in the
drama or get too upset. It doesn't help anything. And
(08:18):
often it's just especially mercury retrograde, I'm misunderstanding. So you know,
it's okay, it's it's part of death is part of life.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I heard on CBC.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
One of the slang words that the younger generation I
sound so old is using is they're they're they're unlive
and they're not alive. There They're not using them word
dead or death. They're not alive or they're unlive. And
that's a problem because death is a part of life
(08:53):
and it's a natural part of life. Most of us
don't want to think about it shouldeply because it's it
can be scary. But for this group coming up, I
don't know what that means for them. That is something too.
I'm going to do more reading about that because this
(09:14):
side of fifty, I've got a lot of friends who
are death duelers, who are working in a hospice, who
are helping people with the end game of their life,
as it were. I do funerals, you know, and it
really is a celebration of the you know, the passing
of that person, but the life they lived and the
(09:36):
way in which they did touch people. I'm getting way
off topic here, but I guess it's all somebody needs
to hear this, I guess anyway. So I'd be interesting
to see. Probably won't be around to see it. But
you know how many people go into funeral services, you know,
become funeral directors. There's an aversion to it anyway, And
(10:01):
that's that's the reality of it. It's it's final, right,
It's there's no turning back the clock.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
There's no.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You should have, could have, would have, you know, regrets
for things unsaid, although we were pretty good about telling
each other that we loved each other, and and you know,
when when it comes down to the very core, she
was not having a good time. She was not having
(10:33):
a good life with her pain level and all the
things she was experiencing. So I can't be selfish and
wish that she was here unless she was miraculously made
whole again. So and we experience that with our loved
ones who who as they age or who you know,
are not well, they might be suffering with something more serious,
(10:58):
and we watch helplessly sometimes and our.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Job is to just.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You know, help where we can keep it light, Keep
it light. I think about all the times that I
was asked to do just that. You know, let's talk
about something fun and just ignore this. And you know,
it seems like we're denying the situation, but it sure
(11:27):
helped her in those moments. So that might be something
somebody needs to hear. Just keep it light. We can't
be offering. We can't be wringing our hands because that
just makes things worse. We keep a positive outlook. I
know somebody who was supposed to She had pancretic cancer
(11:48):
and she was given very little time. But her husband
built a huge, huge pond and I don't know how
much Rocky use, but it was like a waterfall in
their backyard to honor her while she was still alive.
She loved water, and she hung in for years and
(12:11):
I would come over and do tte with her, their
big touch, and we'd have lunch and she'd feel better
for a bit, and it was you know, I went
every week and every week she was still there, and
every week she was living her life, and every week
she was sticking to the positive. So a positive attitude,
as I always say, it really helps, especially when we're
(12:32):
worried about our health or worried about somebody else's health. Anyway,
I have rambled on it how long I've been speaking.
I sort of went into the zone. But just you know,
people keep asking how I'm doing. I'm okay. I really
am okay. There are moments when I'm not, and that's
(12:54):
a natural thing. As time goes on, the moments that
I'm not are fewer and fewer, and the moments that
I embrace blessing in the good things and the wonderful
memories are more.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
That's that's I guess the nature of grief. But there's
sometimes it's hard, and there's sometimes when it's joyful, and
I do hear her. I you know, I hear her
in my head as I do the angels, and I
don't know if that's me making it up or if
(13:34):
it's actually her, But you know, I talk to her
a lot, and I think that's good because they're not
far and they're talking to us. So if we can
attune our hearing, you know, it doesn't have to be
as hard. That's that's the task is, you know, at tuning.
I guess anyway, let's have a little bit prayer. I've
(13:57):
been doing that lately. I think that everybody needs a
prayer today. Maybe maybe I'm projecting. Never hurts to pray.
Let's pray grace. As God, we thank you for the
gift of this beautiful summer day. We thank you for
all of our loved ones who bring light into our lives.
We pray for all of those whom we know who
are under the weather, who are experience may be more
(14:19):
serious things, those who have had surgery, those who are recovering.
We pray that your holy angels, your healing angels, would
be with everyone in need this day to bring them
to that place of joy and healing. We pray for
the world and everyone in it. We ask again that
(14:41):
your angels go to seek out all those who are
in any kind of danger, any kind of trouble, oppression,
those who are fearful, those who are alone, those who
are grieving. We ask that you lift people up to
the light of your love, and that everyone would know
your presence in their lives this day and always and
(15:05):
all this.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Wee pray in your holy name. Amen.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I was so quickie. I hope it helped, and we'll
talk to you again. Soon we're going to take a
picture of the brick wall. There's nothing else to see
except cars anyway, have a good day, Bye bye,
Well, hello everybody, it's Bishop Dab and I am on
the go, but I'm not going at the moment. I'm
sitting in the post office parking lot in town here.
We don't have mail delivery. We have to come to
the post office to our mailboxes here, which is convenient
because it gets me in town and I get to
say hello to the cenotaph at the end of the
(00:22):
street every day and places buzzing today, a lot of
people from other countries, other languages being spoken. I love
Niagar on the Lake. I just love it in the summer, especially,
except sometimes it's hard to get out of the parking
lot because everybody's walking by. They think this is a
movie set. People think they're you know, the cars aren't
(00:45):
real or something. But many will kind of see that
we're bigger and heading toward them, and they should stop.
But I let as many people buy as I can
because it's a courtesy thing. You want them to have
a lovely experience of being in town here, don't chump.
So yes, I am.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
About to go back home. I might take the long way.
It is the perfect summer day.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It's actually warm, it's twenty eight degrees, but the breeze
is a little bit cool, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Blown hot air in your face.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
And it's sunny, a little bit overcast actually, but it's
kind of hazy, I guess that would be the word.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It's not stark blue sky. It's got some texture to it.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So been a busy couple of days, had a very
busy weekend, and today I got caught up with some paperwork.
I've got more to do. It's a never ending battle
with me. I just get stuff done, and there's some
more in my inbox.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It's like, oh jeez.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So I've been doing some lovely weddings recently and just
you know, not really having much downtime. To be honest,
I caught up with my soap opera, which I hadn't
seen for about five days.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So I did a bit of a.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Binge mirrthon the other night, just to kind of calm
down and get away from the desk. But oh, all
kinds of good things are happening. So you know, my
sister and I are doing our podcast Just Beachy. Look
it up on YouTube or if you we actually have
a we actually have a Facebook page now and I
(02:30):
think it's just beachy. Maybe with a hyphen Why just
beat you with whitney and depth. If you look at
that up, you should probably hit it. There's nothing on
there yet. I'm gonna That's the next thing I have
to do is put up links to our two episodes.
We've got a third in the can. It's been It's
been a lot of fun. And I'm about to start
another podcast with a friend and I'm excited about that.
(02:53):
And I'm doing this podcast. I am the podcast queen.
Not that we make any money out of this at all,
but it's good. It's good to keep busy. It's good
for me to keep busy. I've had a couple of.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Sad days. Grief is funny.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You know, I'm doing great, I'm going tickety boo, and
then something happens and I just get paralyzed, stop dead
for a bit. And I have some wonderful people that
I can call on and say help. I'm stuck, stuck
in this place, and it's not even grief is weird.
(03:37):
It's about me, right, It's not about the person who's died,
because I know Jean's happy.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
She was peaceful when she died.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
She looked like the weight of the world had been
taken away. It's the people of behind, it's you know, missing,
and it's me. I'm missing her voice. I'm missing our
opera Wednesdays. We used to seeing everything opera. I'm missing
are just you know, the stuff we were working on.
(04:09):
We were working on so many projects. It was ridiculous
the amount of stuff we had on the goal and
a lot of that, you know, is still in her computer.
But it's about me. It's about my emotions and my feelings.
I'm my missing right. So I'm going along great guns,
getting stuff done, feeling in charge, in control, and then
(04:32):
I'm a puddle. I really commiserate with anybody who's suffering
a loss, because it's it's not you know people. Everything's
changed in the world. The whole world has shifted for me,
and I know for a lot of people as well
who loved her.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I remember, you.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Know, just going back to people going coming back to
work after a death in their family.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You know, this is for a month.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I can't even imagine working in a nine to five
job and having you to go back like on the
third day or the next week or something, because your
whole world is different and you need the money and
you know it's your job.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But there should be grief leave.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I don't know if there's such a thing, but I'm
very lucky because I'm home, and you know, I do weddings,
and I do the funerals and the pastoral stuff, and
I'm working on the church things, and I do you know,
there's never any lack of things for me to do.
I'm also in the middle of writing another book and
(05:38):
getting other things organized so that I can put memes
and reels and things online that she and I worked on.
So it's there's never a dull moment in my house.
We are a busy household, and yet you know, once
a day, maybe not as many times, but it hits
(06:03):
me as she's no longer with us. I don't know
if you've had that happen to you, where suddenly you remember.
It's not like you're forgot, but you remember again, and
it's painful. There's that ache, right, So keeping busy, I'm
not running ahead of it or trying to avoid it.
When the feeling comes, I get paralyzed. But I'm in
(06:27):
the feeling and doing some journaling, which is always a
good thing, and you know, just reframing so that I'm
feeling the blessing of it all. Twenty five years, you know,
that's a wonderful length of time to be in somebody's orbit.
(06:48):
I was talking to somebody this morning who said they
think of me and her every day, and you know,
they miss her so much. And there are so many
people who have been touched by her life and the
loved ones that you've lost. How many circles, how many
people did they touch in their life. I mean, we
(07:11):
forget getting hot near, we forget the many people. Maybe
sometimes it's surprising how many people value what we say
or you know, when we're no longer part of the
you know, the orbit of people in circles, then it's
(07:34):
sometimes surprising. I've done many funerals over the years and
people are shocked to see who shows up, you know,
thinking it was going to be a small gathering, and
it's actually turned into quite quite a large group because
they didn't know the other sides of their loved one,
you know, their their organization groups, or their you know,
(07:57):
the charity things that they did, the way that they
touched people and throughout their life. It's it's surprising the
effect we have on it. And that's why I strive
every day to be kind and to be considerate, and
you know, trying not to get caught up in the
drama or get too upset. It doesn't help anything. And
(08:18):
often it's just especially mercury retrograde, I'm misunderstanding. So you know,
it's okay, it's it's part of death is part of life.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I heard on CBC.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
One of the slang words that the younger generation I
sound so old is using is they're they're they're unlive
and they're not alive. There They're not using them word
dead or death. They're not alive or they're unlive. And
that's a problem because death is a part of life
(08:53):
and it's a natural part of life. Most of us
don't want to think about it shouldeply because it's it
can be scary. But for this group coming up, I
don't know what that means for them. That is something too.
I'm going to do more reading about that because this
(09:14):
side of fifty, I've got a lot of friends who
are death duelers, who are working in a hospice, who
are helping people with the end game of their life,
as it were. I do funerals, you know, and it
really is a celebration of the you know, the passing
of that person, but the life they lived and the
(09:36):
way in which they did touch people. I'm getting way
off topic here, but I guess it's all somebody needs
to hear this, I guess anyway. So I'd be interesting
to see. Probably won't be around to see it. But
you know how many people go into funeral services, you know,
become funeral directors. There's an aversion to it anyway, And
(10:01):
that's that's the reality of it. It's it's final, right,
It's there's no turning back the clock.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
There's no.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
You should have, could have, would have, you know, regrets
for things unsaid, although we were pretty good about telling
each other that we loved each other, and and you know,
when when it comes down to the very core, she
was not having a good time. She was not having
(10:33):
a good life with her pain level and all the
things she was experiencing. So I can't be selfish and
wish that she was here unless she was miraculously made
whole again. So and we experience that with our loved
ones who who as they age or who you know,
are not well, they might be suffering with something more serious,
(10:58):
and we watch helplessly sometimes and our.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Job is to just.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You know, help where we can keep it light, Keep
it light. I think about all the times that I
was asked to do just that. You know, let's talk
about something fun and just ignore this. And you know,
it seems like we're denying the situation, but it sure
(11:27):
helped her in those moments. So that might be something
somebody needs to hear. Just keep it light. We can't
be offering. We can't be wringing our hands because that
just makes things worse. We keep a positive outlook. I
know somebody who was supposed to She had pancretic cancer
(11:48):
and she was given very little time. But her husband
built a huge, huge pond and I don't know how
much Rocky use, but it was like a waterfall in
their backyard to honor her while she was still alive.
She loved water, and she hung in for years and
(12:11):
I would come over and do tte with her, their
big touch, and we'd have lunch and she'd feel better
for a bit, and it was you know, I went
every week and every week she was still there, and
every week she was living her life, and every week
she was sticking to the positive. So a positive attitude,
as I always say, it really helps, especially when we're
(12:32):
worried about our health or worried about somebody else's health. Anyway,
I have rambled on it how long I've been speaking.
I sort of went into the zone. But just you know,
people keep asking how I'm doing. I'm okay. I really
am okay. There are moments when I'm not, and that's
(12:54):
a natural thing. As time goes on, the moments that
I'm not are fewer and fewer, and the moments that
I embrace blessing in the good things and the wonderful
memories are more.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
That's that's I guess the nature of grief. But there's
sometimes it's hard, and there's sometimes when it's joyful, and
I do hear her. I you know, I hear her
in my head as I do the angels, and I
don't know if that's me making it up or if
(13:34):
it's actually her, But you know, I talk to her
a lot, and I think that's good because they're not
far and they're talking to us. So if we can
attune our hearing, you know, it doesn't have to be
as hard. That's that's the task is, you know, at tuning.
I guess anyway, let's have a little bit prayer. I've
(13:57):
been doing that lately. I think that everybody needs a
prayer today. Maybe maybe I'm projecting. Never hurts to pray.
Let's pray grace. As God, we thank you for the
gift of this beautiful summer day. We thank you for
all of our loved ones who bring light into our lives.
We pray for all of those whom we know who
are under the weather, who are experience may be more
(14:19):
serious things, those who have had surgery, those who are recovering.
We pray that your holy angels, your healing angels, would
be with everyone in need this day to bring them
to that place of joy and healing. We pray for
the world and everyone in it. We ask again that
(14:41):
your angels go to seek out all those who are
in any kind of danger, any kind of trouble, oppression,
those who are fearful, those who are alone, those who
are grieving. We ask that you lift people up to
the light of your love, and that everyone would know
your presence in their lives this day and always and
(15:05):
all this.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Wee pray in your holy name. Amen.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I was so quickie. I hope it helped, and we'll
talk to you again. Soon we're going to take a
picture of the brick wall. There's nothing else to see
except cars anyway, have a good day, Bye bye,
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