PTR Ep 497 Preparing To Become A Father

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, all my prepping friends. Welcome to another episode of
Prepper Talk Radio with Scott, Shane and Paris in the house.
How are we doing, brothers, We're doing good, good as always,
good as always, good as good as good can be
in the psychosis of the world that we live in.
I should actually start this episode off with how are
we doing? Fathers?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's right, that's right. It's not even Father's Day or
anything coming up, but we're I guess we're prepping for
twenty twenty six Father's Day.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
So the inspiration for this episode, and by the way,
it's gonna be a fun one. We're going to go
into deep dive into preparing for fatherhood or perfecting fatherhood
and also prepping for a baby based on wherever our
minds and our thoughts were. And then what's crazy is
if you look to the other side of your screen,

(00:54):
on the far end of where I am, you will
see the Bert Gummer hat.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
Shane, Yes, I felt it appropriate today, not just for
this topic, but for the next topic.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Especially also because he's got a son in the later
movies of Tremors. So be that as it may.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Oh that's true, he doesn't. Yeah, yeah, I was like
I was actually watching I was watching the third one
just today actually, so but yes, five seven awesome you
finally really yeah? Yeah, so yeah, that does that does
make sense. I appreciate the connection there.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Then that's where my brain, my Brian, that's where my
Brian is, where I'm salting my my food. No, it's
where my brain is. Guys, it's been an interesting everything.
And uh for the little context on why we chose
this topic today, well, a few weeks ago we found
out that yours truly is expecting another child. After we

(01:55):
thought it was all done and said and gone, and
we're like, okay, I guess we're not having anymore. We
quit trying and boom, here we go. So we want
to bring this episode to you from our friends who
produce this amazing supplement called Vitality. We want to check
it out. Go to our Prepper talk radio dot com
website Ford slash Good Life. This men's Vitality, among with

(02:16):
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gives you more strength, endurance, hormones.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Free testosterone, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, like it also says promotes healthy libidos. So you, guys,
I don't know if it's to blame, but sweet go
check it out Preppertalkradio dot com Ford slash Good Life
and without further ado, we're gonna deliver our topic to
you right now. We're gonna start talking about fatherhood. Welcome

(02:52):
to the hood. As I prep for this, guys, all
I can think about is baby. There's a baby, got
a baby? Okay, what I gotta check my lists. I
gotta break stuff out. I gotta start getting more diapers.
I gotta get more baby some rash creams and like
the cleanest, healthiest versions because now we're finding out like
Johnson's and johnson stuff it's like toxic and can like

(03:14):
damage everything, right they Oh man, it's just so bad,
so you gotta be careful. But I'm like bug got
bags just tripled in size because like, if you had
a baby, and for those who haven't, prepare for constant
feeding and constant leaking, meaning it's gonna be either poop
and or pean almost all the time, especially in the

(03:36):
first part. And they're gonna be feeding all the time
and sleeping, So it's like this constant state of what
is happening, So get extras of everything, and that that's
where I'll start.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, the only thing you can't get extra of is
the sleep that you're definitely going to be losing.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
There's a Harvard study.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Your sweetheart is gonna be losing more.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
I think it was three hundred thousand families sleep cycles
and the birth of each child, and they didn't They
found that it wasn't until after the child last, the
youngest child was six years old, that the parents sleep
cycle resumed to normal and they were able to get
a full, effective, efficient night's sleep.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
How long that after?

Speaker 1 (04:23):
He said to the youngest six day, dude, So that
couples with my theory that I've had long running theory
that we don't really love our kids. Like when that
baby's born. As a father, I'm like, dude, I'll die
for you. I will die for you. And then you
spend the next six months going through Stockholm syndrome. Right.

(04:44):
They beat you, they abuse you, they pee on you,
they poop on you like they spit up on you.
They cry in your ear, they pull your hair, and
you look, you love the whole experience. Exhausted as you are,
You're a captive to whatever's going on in that little
baby's brain, which is who knows, who knows. There's some

(05:07):
people that say they can they speak baby, and they're like, oh, yeah,
that baby's hungry. How do you know? How do you?
How do you really know? But they say they can
understand the different types of cries.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Well, at a certain point, you actually do kind of
get to know their cry, Like you get to know
the hungry cry, the frustrated cry, the tired cry. They
do have a cry. Well at these my kids did.
Not every kid is going to be the same necessarily,
but my kids did, and we could kind of figure
out which pretty close to where what was needed.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Basically, I just I just took around and actually have
it right here. I just took around this cool backpack
everywhere went moved by my care. You can't see that.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Active duty ah spelled doo die this.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
I broke this out because this is one of my
best backpacks. This is this is my my dad's version
diaper bag backpack. Right, It's got spots for bottle, spots
for white, spots for past fires, spots for everything. It's
got like so many compartments, spots for sanitation, like and
of course a spot for like an energy drink, so
I can try to stay awake all day. So like

(06:22):
as you prepare for kids, be prepare, prepare for the unexpected,
like and honestly, more than anything, work on yourself.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Because you're kind of forced to work on yourself. Right,
That's the first thing I wrote on my notes here,
Expect the unexpected. Just what you said there, Scott, And Uh,
I've found that you're kind of forced to forget yourself,
especially you know, being I say young parent. I'm obviously

(06:59):
not young any work, But when you first get married,
you have certain expectations and things change pretty quickly, and
you tend to have to forget yourself. And as long
as you realize what's going on, what's happening, then it
not only makes sense that you actually can grow and

(07:23):
your life, your life will change for the positive instead
of for the stressful. Right, Like you're saying, Scott, you
know what I mean. It's and you said, Parish sleep
you get it when you when you can get it right.
It's it's kind of like a survival course. When you're
out in survival, you sleep when you can sleep, and
eat when you can eat, and and and sometimes you

(07:47):
just forget about yourself, like, oh yeah, I haven't eaten,
I haven't slept, And it's definitely an interesting experience if
you're in the right mindset.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Oh yeah, one thing I just actually had a I
was at an event with my church. We had a
little barbecue, and this lady walks up. She's six months pregnant,
it's their first child, and her husband's next to her,
and I was like, so, this is what I always
tell new, brand new parents. It's it's a total trip

(08:17):
and nothing will prepare you for this. But you're going
to walk into that hospital as two, and you're gonna
you're not going to be able to leave that hospital
until you're three, Like the number three, Like there's three
of you coming out of that and you know, just
real quick in the you know, to start with from
the hospitals perspective, I mean, you, you're your sweetheart. As

(08:39):
soon as she gets pregnant, find out she's pregnant, there's
all kinds of things to start preparing for, so maybe
we can start there. But one thing too, in the hospital,
I it was kind of funny if your spouse becomes
a gets an epidural, the doctors don't let you stand up. Well,
they didn't let me stand out the last one we had,
they didn't let me stand up while they was they
were putting the epidural in and I was like, no,

(09:01):
I'm ready to do it myself. Like I'll help you,
I'll assist the doctor. Apparently at the time, this was
twelve years ago, the last time I had a child,
was that they said that several parent dads had passed
out and they actually had to rush dads to the
er because they hit their head. And imagine, you know,
you're in this stressful situation, your wife's about to give

(09:22):
birth and you pass out and you're we wake up
in the er because you did you couldn't handle the
the the epidural. So there's there's some things depending on
how you're going to do it once you get into
the hospital, there's some things to be prepared for, even
at that level, to make sure that you're going to
stay safe and be able to receive the baby once
it actually comes out.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
That's crazy. So one of the things that I wanted
to a couple of things. One fathers like, as you're
preparing for fatherhood, know that it's harder on your wife.
She's going through more. She has less sleep, she's got
more harm moments to fight and challenge and struggle with. Right,

(10:03):
you need to up your game. Your job is a
servant leader in life. Right, As a man, your job
is a servant leader, servant first, but it's leading through
that being a servant. You need to step up your game.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
You.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I've had friends that were this way. They're like, I'm
never gonna change your diaper. That's lady's work, that's women's work.
And I'm like, dude, you're you're a dead man walking.
You don't even know. And one of them somehow survived
without and his wife's like, I'm glad he didn't because
I didn't want him messing stuff up. He's I love
him to death, but he is not He's not smart.

(10:41):
And I'm like, ooh sorry, bro. But then other other
friend that was that way, we were both nineteen, and
he told me that. I was like, yeah, right. They've
had like seven kids, and he's like, I lost count
on diapers so fast. He's like, I told my wife
I'm not changing a single diaper. And as soon as
the baby was poopy the first time she hand it
to me, she says, you don't bring that baby back
till it's clean. And if you don't know how to

(11:01):
figure it out, ask the nurses to help you. But
if I see them change the diapers, you're not coming
home with us. Like she was right, this is your
baptism of fire. So guys, go learn figure it out,
like you need, you need to know how to do
these things.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
I love I love watching those those funny memes of
dads like dry heaping as they're changing diapers and and
they're like they got the hazmat suits on and they
got the gloves going, and uh, you know, there's I
was just talking with my family about that the other day,
and it was funny because I I have a pretty
I watched Actually I was fortunate enough and this is

(11:40):
something that's kind of a reveal here, but I was
fortunate enough to watch my sister, both of my sisters berths,
and which was kind of cool. My mom was kind
of open about that and she just let us have
that experience, which was really cool because when I had
my own kids, I was like, been there, done that,
Like I've seen this happened. I knew what to expect

(12:02):
and so it was really cool. But you know, I changed.
I was the oldest of five kids, and I changed
diapers as a teenager too because I was I was
fifteen when my youngest sister was born, and I was like,
so for me, changing diapers was like nothing. I you know,
you get down, you get it down to a system.
Especially guys. You know, we have our systems. You know,
you boot do this way, you'd fold it that way,

(12:22):
you flip it this way, you wipe this first wipe,
that second, wipe, this third, you know you're out.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
And so it was.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
There was only one time when a kid, I think
it was a kid barfed and it wasn't until they
were much older actually, and that barf, I that was
the only time I really dry heaved when I was
trying to clean up my kids stuff. And I think
she was like ten or eleven. But anyways, it was
just like, oh my gosh, like it was all over
the bathroom, like I don't know, it's like projectile like

(12:48):
I was just like anyways, So but it's kind of
you kind of if you're if you're you know, if
you're prone to maybe dry heaving or being sick, like
you know, make sure you have a nose plug, make
sure you have some other things ready to go because
you're gonna you're gonna have some fun when that baby
needs to have their diaper changed.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Well, like on top of that though, like diaper changing,
cleaning up puke, right, all that fun stuff. You think
you're cool as a man because you can like pull
out your nine millimeter, drop the magazine real fast, like
drop it clear the clear the chamber, pull out a
new magazine, load it read you know, rea chamber around

(13:28):
and you're good to go.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
Right.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
You think that's cool and that is, but your wife
thinks that thinks that's stupid. When a baby's born, right,
you're on her team, she's on your team. Keep the
team together if you like, if you're in a gunfight
and you can't shoot, you're hoping your partner can, can
can shoot, can provide cover, right, all that stuff. It's

(13:49):
the same thing with kids. You have these little intruders
that come into your house, come into your life, and
you're like, I don't know what their intentions are. One minute,
they're crying, they're crawling around on the floor, or the
next minute their crayola covering your your fridge and your
important books. Like they're just they're anywhere and everywhere, and
they're unpredictable. Guess what prepping is for s h t F.

(14:11):
Sometimes s h t F is your kids poop hitting
the fan, your shirt whatever.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Oh that's what reminds me. You got to child proof
your house.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Mm hmm. Yeah. We've got all the little outlet covers
we we we we donated those, so we got to
get new ones. We all the little door knob like
so you can't turn the doorknob once you get in there. Uh,
we're gonna get those again. That a lot of stuff
have given away or or donated, and so it's like
we got to get back in and like not just

(14:45):
have like from a from a prepper checklist point, not
just have an extensive amount of diapers and cream and
formula and all the backups to backups to backups. So
it also have like an extra bag, a go bag
ready to go with everything partialed out to cover you
for seventy two hours to ninety six hours minimum ready

(15:07):
to go, so you're not having to in an emergency
situation figure out, oh how do I get enough formula
or how do I get enough water? Like you need
extra water, so you can have the formula right, depending
on if the child is nursing or if the child
is on a bottle, right, You've got to think of
those things. But also if when they're older, right. But
then it's also like how do I not mess up

(15:29):
my kid? I think that's the biggest question, right preparing
for father This works for moms too, but like, how
do you ensure you don't mess up your kid? Right?
And how do you ensure that you're not the problem,
that you're not creating more issues for your kid? Because
it's not hard to raise a kid. It's really easy
to raise a monster, right if you just let them

(15:50):
go crazy. But if you corral them and guide them
and let them do dangerous things safely right cautiously and
learn and help them grow, like, there's a things will
come out of that. And I feel a Jordan Peterson
quote coming on here in a minute. But like, I'm
looking at you, Paris, But one of my biggest things
is like you as a father and as a mother, Like,

(16:13):
one of the biggest factors for improving your child's chances
in life is personal development of you creating a role
model for your kid, an example of virtue, an example
of being able to withstand trials and have a good attitude,
the ability to weather the storm, so to speak. But

(16:37):
also how you speak to them, how do you speak,
how you speak to your spouse, Like all those factors
they're going to model throughout their life. And are you
creating good experiences for them to model, good examples for
them to model, or horrific examples.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Yeah, I wanted to touch on real quick on on
don't break your kids. Yeah, you know, that's something I
wish i'd learned a little more early. We've got five
kids and young as are thirteen. Not that you know,
is my intent to break you know you kind of
maybe think about it like you're breaking a wild horse, right,

(17:15):
You've got to train it, you want to ride this horse.
You wanted to do what you expected to do and
for it to behave and so forth. So to take
that approach on your kids, say, I've got to break
my kids and their bad habits so they are do
well in public and at school and those types of
things that are expected. And like you say, yes, as parents,

(17:37):
we need to guide our children. And I think that's
being done less and less nowadays. And that could be
a whole other topic of letting the kids do whatever
they want. Oh, that's you know that it's their choice. No,
that's what we have parents for to guide our children.
But as to not breaking your children, they are who

(17:57):
they are from the moment they're born. They're the same
and they will be the same personality through their entire life.
There's no changing that. Uh, you've got to work with
that and shape and reinforce it, not change it, and
shape and molded exactly perfect words, great words. And then
I had some other thoughts, which you know, tend to
derail the conversation. So if you want to stay on
this topic a little longer before, let me.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, let me let me interject here real quick. To
stay on the topic, I think one of the things
that really helped me understand and my kids appreciate it
as they grow. As they've grown older, they've been in
the homes of their friends and they've seen how their
friends were raised and their parents deal with them, and
they've come back and said, Paris, now, Dad, you know,
we really appreciate how you've raised us. And a couple

(18:40):
of things. One is I always try to think of
the fact that my kids are also God's kids, and
so when I speak with God, and I pray to
God about what to do. I say, God, help me
with our kids. And I feel like I'm a mentor
more than a than a ruler. For example, I I
feel like I came to Earth early so I have experience.

(19:04):
I'm a mentor. I'm mentoring them through their life rather
than a tyrant of just do what I say. You know,
I there's they call them the terrible twos. I call
them the inquisitive twos. And I just took time, like
you know they would instead of saying because Dad said so,
I would say, well, this is why I would explain things.
I'd be a mentor. I'd really teach them how to
do things. And the other thing that came as a

(19:25):
part of that. And this is something that's a fine
line because you got to you got to also be
a father figure and a mentor and a friend, and
so you want to you don't want to blur the
lines too much, but you also want to make sure
that you're you're also some of those other things and
not just a you know, a tyrant father. But I
I believe in there's an old principle that says teach

(19:47):
people correct principles and then let them govern themselves. And
I tried to do that with my kids as best
I could. Now there was times when they were reaching
for the stove. I'm not going to just say, well,
I'm going to let them do what they do and
learn how learn for theirselves. I mean little bit, you
know maybe, but I'll be like, I'll save them from
their danger and then I'll show them, hey, this is dangerous,
and then I'll teach them why it was dangerous. And

(20:09):
that seems to have worked pretty well. I have well
adjusted kids that are pretty when they moved into adulting,
they were pretty Some of them just took to it
like you know, fish to water and just went for it.
And coming back home after hearing them, they're like, Dad,
we really appreciate how you let us and you taught
us and you mentored us, because there's a lot of
our friends that just don't have some of the same

(20:30):
things and understandings about life that we do. And not
that I'm a perfect dad or perfect father, because I
probably screwed a bunch of stuff up. And as I'm
watching them older in life, I'm like, yeah, I probably
should have done a little better with this, that or
the other. But on the aggregate. I I don't beat
myself up for that kind of stuff because I was
doing the best I could with what I had at
the end at the time, I understood it, you know.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
So that's one thing.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Give yourself some grace as a dad.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
One thing our oldest daughter pointed out to us several
years ago is that, you know, we were fairly young parents,
pretty young parents, and she realized that, hey, my parents
are growing up at the same time too, right from
your twenties to our fifties. Now we're still growing up,
we're still learning, we're still kids, you know, quotation marks,
and so you know, that's that's something I really took

(21:18):
to heart and tried to, I want to say, kind
of partner with my kids on he say, hey, we're
in this together, you know. And my older kids have
really provide a lot of good insight that way that
you know, me as the old man now, right, I
now look back at my parents and my grandparents and
realize exactly, you know, why they were the way they

(21:40):
were right, why they didn't change right, they were stuck
in their ways I'll use that term. Why they you know,
continue to wear their old clothes all those kinds of things,
and and then of course I try to apply that
forward on myself. It's okay, why am I the way
I am? And then figure out how maybe that's affected

(22:02):
my kids, how they're turning out as I mean, it's
it's a huge, long process and a lot of and
really great topic to think about and talk about.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
I laugh, because like they wear the same clothes all
the time. It's like, dude, I do that already. Like
I am like my seven of the same pair of
pants and I'll have three stashed away for the future.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
And they're not skinny jeans, they're not tapered.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Yeah, And they're like, that's not a style. I'm like,
what style? I'm a dad, Like yeah, everything is hi
so and so I'm dad, Like I'm hungry, hungry, I'm dad.
Like that's like you just you lose lose yourself in
the mission, right, you lose yourself in the role. And

(22:51):
what's cool is like you find so much more joy
and so much more peace and so much more happiness. Yes,
there's a lot more stress, but like you learn to
be like the rubber band of life and stretch with
it and just go with it. And I have been
abundantly blessed with greater patients, greater understanding, a greater temperament. Right,

(23:18):
And what's funny is like, yeah, I wear less diversity
in my clothing. I have like three different types of
shoes all wear. That's it, one of the pair of
Sunday shoes. Then it's my boots, and then it's my
shoes and occasionally flip flops. Right, so technically four different footwears.
But I'm like, I look at my dad and he

(23:40):
had two two shoes, his white New Balance whatever, four
twenties whatever, they were, right, that every dad gets with
his He didn't wear the jeorts, the jean shorts, but
he wore jeans, a blue button up shirt and white
sneakers like still does for the last yate. Now, for

(24:00):
the last forty years. That's all I've seen except on Sundays.
Then he's got a white shirt and tie when he
goes to church, comes home. Guess what back in the
blue blue shirt, blue pants.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
And but you gotta do dad things, Yeah, I mean
that's what sets you apart as a dad. I've got
a few things that I purposely do that drive my
kids a little bit crazy. But I think it's done lovingly, right,
So whenever the opportunity comes up, and I'm trying to
think of a situation, but I'll start to sing what

(24:33):
I learned as a kid. There's a hole in the bucket.
Dear Lasa, dear Laza. Do you know that one?

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Oh yeah, you don't know that one.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
I don't look that one up. There's a hole, So
fix it, dear Henry, Dear Henry, Henry. And then we
go through the Once you start it, you can't end it.
You have to go through the whole cycle. And the
same thing with she.

Speaker 4 (24:52):
Swallowed a fly. If you don't know that one, man,
you've got to go learn that one. Do what I'm
talking about, Paris, Yeah, lady who's swallowed a fly? I
don't know why if she's swallowed the fly. And then
once you start it, you gotta finish it. Yeah, yeah,
you got to go through the whole thing. And they
all know Dad, now you know. And I just love
that those kinds of things right.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Well. The other yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
There's you mentioned earlier, Scott that you had this funny
joke that you didn't and I'm I don't know where
it came or I don't know when it comes, but
there's there's like a download and I call it pure revelation,
like it's it's like godly that dad jokes just flow.
They start to come and and I'm sure some people
have a better connection, but man, that's one thing that
I would highly recommend. If you're going to be a

(25:35):
new dad, go buy a bunch of dad joke books
and just start memorizing those suckers because you're gonna, really,
you're gonna your kids are gonna love it. I do
you know, I do something similar to that, Shane and
I I have like I have all these songs in
my head. My mom did it too, Like every time
we would say something like uh, you know, we would

(25:56):
just say something and if it was a if there
in some song in her mind, she could roll AdEx
and find that phrase in a song. My mom would
start singing the song back to us, and I started.
I did the same thing with my kids. They'd say
something like, uh, hey, don't worry, let's just be happy.
I'm like, don't worry, be happy, you know, I start
singing the song like or just whatever. Just different crazy

(26:19):
things like that. I feel like as a you know
that on a more serious note. One of the best
things that I've ever learned about fatherhood was that there's
no better way to show your kids that you love
them by loving their mom. And that's something that's critical,
is that you've really with divorce rates what they are today.

(26:40):
Divorce just doesn't do good things to kids and their
psych their mental health and other things. And just there's
so many statistics that show that broken homes create broken people,
and there are people that rise above it and rise
from it. Absolutely there are people that do that and
they are wonderful and move on. And it's unfortunately all

(27:01):
too common these days. So there's a lot of resources
for it because it's so common. But I still believe
that you know, a good husband and a good wife
coming together, creating a family, raising children together, that's the ideal.
And if you can stay true and faithful to that boy,
you're going to create a home from a house. You'll

(27:22):
create a home, and you'll be able to develop children.
And you know, sometimes they'll make choices that you don't
agree with. And I'm in the process now of transitioning
from you know, kids that I can control their every
move because I can just tell them what to do
and they're under eighteen and they live in my house.
And I can say, you live in my house, you know,
to dang, you're over eighteen, you're living somewhere else, and

(27:45):
you're married to somebody else. You're married to your spouse now.
And I'm just like, I got to just sit back
and let them do their thing and hope that I
taught them right, you know. And that's really where the
rubber meets the road, and determining whether or not I
created good ones or about you know, crazy ones, and
and so far, so good, so far, so good. It's

(28:05):
it's gonna there are some things. Every once in a while,
I'll say to myself, you know, why did I have
so many kids? These guys are liabilities for sure. And
then and then I just get a reminder from God like, hey, dude,
you know it's all good. Don't worry. I got you.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
We're so expensive.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
We'll do this together. And so I'm like, Okay, Well,
someday they'll become assets or in many ways they are
assets and not just fit. Yeah, but there are also
assets with like joy and happiness. And just like the
other day, my son in law, he was going for
his apprenticeship, he was taking his test to become an electrician,

(28:40):
and he passed the test, and so we all celebrated
about that, and so we're going to celebrate again, you know,
in person. But there's some real joy that comes from
having kids that are grown up and they're doing good
things in the world, and you're like, I created that
I And there's I think I don't know if it
was Jordan Peterson with somebody else, but there's there's no
great ter adventure for a man than to be a father.

(29:04):
There's no greater adventure. He talks about adventures, I know
for sure, so I can use that language. There was
somebody else that was like, you imagine the most you
you literally create a child, and then you're given the
opportunity to raise it, to download your information into it
and help it develop it, create it, let it grow,
and not kill it, hopefully, And that's just an amazing

(29:28):
It's an amazing, amazing adventure. And I'm so glad I
did it, even I'm even glad I did it five
times over.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
So one of the thoughts I've been having is, as
we've discussed this is when they're small, you're trying to
protect them. You're always trying to protect them. Even when
they get older, you're still trying to protect them. But
there's it comes to a point where you have to
allow them to make mistakes, allow them to go on
their own journey. And my little son's interrupting, I'm on

(29:58):
the podcast. Okay, go upstairs, close the door. That's at
thirty minutes paris.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Sorry, I might at least leave it in because that's
a perfect little that's a dad moment right there. Maybe
perfect for that. We yeah, we plan that for the podcast.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
So here's the thing though, Like what I was trying
to get to is you want to protect them, right,
that's our natural instinct. We want to keep them safe.
But you also have to understand that you cannot stop
the consequences or you will stunt their independence, their critical thinking,
and their understanding of fairness and justice in the world.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Right.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
If you protect them from the consequences of their decisions,
you disservice your child.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
And so like the phrase is to is sit back
and let them learn, which means as best you can
while they're younger, give them controlled environments where you can
kind of guide them through dangerous things, right, but let
them figure it out. Because in school, you're given lessons

(31:07):
and then they test you on the on what you've learned.
In life, you're given tests and then you learn what
the test was about and how the test strengthened or
weakened you. That's the opposite, right, it's the opposite. So
why do we educate the way we do those experiences,
those moments, right? I remember when I was a little

(31:27):
little kid and my dad was letting me play with
his hammer and pound nails into a block of wood.
He was letting me do it, but he was correcting
dangerous behavior into powerful behavior of doing it right right,
But he still let me suffer the consequence. He still
let me hit my finger if I wasn't paying attention,
and it hurt. But I learned, don't do that right,

(31:51):
don't do that dummy. Oh it hurts, yeah, because you
did it wrong. And so like learning those things, but
encouraging at the same time, encourage problem solving, encouraging thinking
outside of the box, encouraging what's another way you could
do this? Right? Get creative with them. But that's that
fostering growth that particularly fathers can do exceptionally well with

(32:15):
their kids, and even more so if the kid sees
you as a role model because your behavior, your understanding,
your level of compassion, and your rigidity of self is
there as a good example. Yeah, right, And that's mental,
that's emotional, that's spiritual, and that's physical. If they see

(32:37):
you slacken, they're going to slack. But if they see
you as a role model as something to strive towards,
they're going to want to do what you're doing. And
it's what's unique about fatherhood too, is you want every
one of your kids to have a better life than you.
You want every one of your kids to have better
and more and be wiser and smart and everything better

(33:01):
than you are. Right. It's a unique experience because you
grow up and you're like, you want to be the best.
You want to be better than everybody else. You want
to I want to be the best drawer. I want
to be the best accountant. Right, I want to be
the best. And then you have these kids and you're like,
I want them to be better than me. I want
them to do better, enjoy more, experience greater things than
I ever did. And it's amazing how that switch just

(33:21):
flips the minute you feel that baby kick on a
belly or they hold that baby in your hands, or
if you're a foster parent, the first time you hug
that little child that's coming into your home for safety,
Like wow.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
That's a really good point, Scott. You there's nothing. I
don't care how hard you think you are right now.
I mean, and there might be some people that are
past feeling. But for me, when I held that baby
when she when he or she came out that and
I was like okay, the nurse was like all right,
so your turn to hold and I'm like what am
I Especially the first one, boy, the first one really

(33:58):
hits you right between the and I just held that
little guy. He was my son, was my oldest and
I just looked down into his eyes and he looked
up at me like you got like one hundred percent trust,
Like there was Their life literally depends on everything I
just was about to do, like or the adventure of

(34:22):
my life was making sure that they stayed alive and
kept them alive. Like I killed tomatoes and plants. I
kill stuff in the garden all the time, so I'm like, uh,
I'm not killing this. And there's just there's nothing when
they look at you in that first time, there's just
to me. It was I call it the spirit, you know,
God just washed over me and I was like I
just stepped in. I knew this was a different part

(34:44):
of my life and it was the most amazing feeling.
And I just love, Like, it's interesting when you're growing
up as a man, especially, I've only really had experiences
a man. I think, you know honestly, but you know,
you love yourself, right, I'm gonna go do this. I'm
gonna go do that. I'm gonna you're independent, You're you're
a man, right. And then you find a spouse that

(35:06):
you absolutely fall in love with, and you're like, okay,
my love just expanded and it doubles. Usually like your
your capacity for love just expanded as you bring in
this woman into your life and she's your spouse and
she's gonna be your wife, and you're just like, there's
so much love. And then you're like, dude, this is
like there's no way love can get even better. And
then that little baby arrives and you're like, oh my gosh,

(35:27):
we just doubled the love again. Like there's just it's
crazy how it works. I can't really explain it. It's
literally like trying to tell you how salt tastes. You
can't explain it. You just have to experience it and
my and that's maybe you two have a better way
of explaining it than that, but that's it's just an
experience that when you have that baby in your arms,
the love doubles again, like increases so much. And then

(35:51):
it doesn't stop with every kid, Like every kid, the
love continues to grow and you're like.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Wow, like, room, it's pretty amazing.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah, you think you get to a limit, like there's
only so much love I can give. Well, no, every
time you get a new person that's in your life,
it's like the love expands and your capacity expands to
love them, and it's like wow, that was the coolest thing.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
Kids are a magnifier. They're a multiplier, right, every kid
you have multiplies your abilities, magnifies your abilities to feel excitement,
to feel love, to feel fear. Right, Yeah, let's go right.
They magnifies everything, and.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Especially when that kids running in like they first can
walk and you're like, okay, my kid can walk, where
are they? Or the other thing too, is a dad
like when it gets quiet, go like find them because
kids aren't quiet normally so if it's quiet, like, Okay,
what are they doing? What are they messing up with?
What are they getting into? Do they go outside? And

(36:57):
just I mean check the streets too, because man, those
kids are like, well, let's go play in the street.
No save them.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Yeah, the minute your head says, oh this is nice
and peaceful, that's the reminder to go check on where
your kids are. Right. It's funny because in the eighties,
I believe it was nine thirty at night when the
news came on. The first thing was it's nine thirty.
Do you know where your kids are? Do you guys
remember that on the TV? I do.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
I don't remember that from the TV, but I do
remember do you know where your kids? It's certain time?

Speaker 1 (37:27):
You know you know where your kids are? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:29):
I remember that.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
I'm like, I know where my kids are almost all
the time. And I'm like, how could I guess? I
was a kid of the eighties, So now I'm like,
how could my parents not have known where I was?
How could Like not to throw shade, but just the
question of like how do you not keep track of it?
Like my kids don't have cell phones. They're like it's
but like, how do you not keep track of that stuff.

(37:51):
But I guess we needed to be a reminder for
a generation.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah. I think the reminder I would say, as we
kind of get close around up and up here, is
that you guys have really painted a really nice picture, right,
you painted a great picture. Everything's roses and great, it's
it's it's, excuse me, the most difficult thing probably I've
ever done in my life. Right, and the worry, the

(38:16):
stress financially as well. And that's kind of where I
was going to go with my uh when I was
going to hijack the conversation.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
But it is.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
But the thing is, you know, it's it's complete, one
hundred percent worth it, right, It's that's the purpose of life.
I mean financially, I mean, yeah, it should be nice
to retire early or to have this or have that,
But if you have a lot of kids, you've got
a lot of expenses too, right. And I think the
main thing I was gonna bring up is that emergency

(38:48):
room visits for us have been quite frequent. Right, It's
a expensive and you know what I mean. And so
when that came to mind, and you know we're being prepped, right,
it's a preparedness channel being having the medical knowledge, having
the supplies to and just the wisdom of knowing when

(39:11):
to go and when not to go. Right as young parents, Oh,
she's she fell down. It looks like her, I'm broken.
Let's go to the emergency room. There's five hundred bucks
out of your pocket right there, you know.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
And then.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Just going from personal experience here, right then, the daughter says, oh, yeah,
my arm's fine, and you're just like smacking your head
that you just meant five hundred bucks for nothing. I mean,
that's one of the many experiences that you just have
to live and learn. I guess you could say, right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
I remember one time my son was playing in the
backyard and I hear him screaming, and all of a
sudden and my weight sat was near him and his
fingers just smashed like this twenty five pound weight he
was messing with on his finger. I knew, I knew
some things to do to clean it out real quick
quickly so that it was fresh, and I knew it
was going we were going to the er. That was

(40:04):
a definite going to the er. And then I've had
other times where it's like, hey, just move it, just
check it out, just kind of do you know, rotate
your wrists, rotate your ankle, like, how are you doing well?
It hurts a little bit. If you're not crying out
in pain, it's probably just a little sprain or a twist.
So there's some key indicators. As you can do is

(40:25):
if you know a little bit about what to look
for and then just to.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
See your kids in pain or you know, and especially nowadays, right,
parents I think are ultra sensitive to that, where like
my parents and just walk around on it. You'll be fine, Yeah,
walk it off. Things have changed so interesting.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
As you're preparing for fatherhood or motherhood, right, Remember there's
no perfect guidebook. Every child is different. It will test you.
We talked about how we learned. It will test you
beyond your current capabilities, over and over and over. The
challenges learn try to enjoy it. Embrace the suck so

(41:10):
that when the bad times pause for a minute and
you've got good times that you can just absolutely soak
that up. Yeah, because there will be as Shane said,
there will be really hard times as a parent. Oh right,
it will be the biggest test of your life.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Man, the rewards someday I hear is grandkids, how is
that true, Shane, Yeah, so far.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
My granddaughter is too, and I was gonna say every
everything she says is why this?

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Why that?

Speaker 3 (41:38):
You know she's she's asking questions. I love that opportunity
to teach, you know, it's it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Hopefully she starts asking why do we prep? Grandpa? Can
you teach me how to do this? Where's my big
at bag? Well, guys, make sure as we close out,
make sure you go check out our good friends over
Jason dot com and get your emergency antibiotics. Shortages are here,
shortages are coming, so there's always a chance that you
might not be able to get what you need in
a pinch Jace dot com j A.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
S E.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Use the code prepper talk to save ten bucks at
check out. Get your emergency emergency antibiotics as well as
you can get other things like iverbecten and even your
regular prescription refills. They can do a lot of those
and give you up to a year in advance, so
check them out and then until next time, keep that
on a swivel, stay ready minded, and we'll catch you
on the next episode.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
Take care, guys,

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.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

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PTR Ep 497 Preparing To Become A Father

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