WE DISCUSS AGE DIFFERENCE RELATIONSHIPS AND BELLICHECK

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Welcome to the Psychology of Romance podcast, where doctor Carlos discusses the latest research
and inside on relationships. Now here'syour host, Doctor Carlos. Welcome back

(00:34):
everybody. Well we got my cohost back here for the Psychology Romance Retired
FBI profiler, founder of the HeroScience Unit, and sought after a keynote
speaker on human behavior, Andrew Bringhole. Welcome back, Andy, Hey Carlos.
It's a cold and rainy summer dayhere in central New York. How's
it in California? It's pretty monkey, it's about it. It's about seventy

(00:57):
five, partly cloudy, and that'sit because it does it truly ever rain
in southern California. Oh, we'vehad a lot of rain. Yeah,
we had so much rain that actuallythe eight year drought was gone within a
year and a half. We hadso bj Thomas was wrong. It does
rain in southern California. Oh absolutely, We're kind of cyclical. I remember

(01:18):
talking to meteorologists about twenty years fifteen, ten years ago, and they were
saying it was cyclical. Yeah,we go ahead with sixty eight degrees right
now, in the middle of theend of June, a couple of weeks
ago was in the nineties and nowwe're getting I think a cold front coming
through. Hopefully the days leading tonext week will be nice leading to the

(01:38):
fourth Yeah, by the way,I know, folks, you don't want
to hear about whether we're moving overto romance now, but romance. And
by the way, before we getstarted, to make sure to share,
subscribe and hit that I like button. You know we like it. So
we're going to talk about Bill Belichicktoday and the age difference. So the
show is really on age differences.Before we get started, I talked to

(01:59):
Andy before the show a little bitabout some of the age differences we've seen
in history and even in modern times. We've had Cleopatra and Julius Caesar.
For thirty years. After the assassinationof Caesar, Cleopatra formed a liaison or
a relationship with Mark Anthony, whowas fourteen years younger as well. You

(02:19):
also have William that's for the oneswe're talking about, John Roff and Pocahontas,
eleven years difference, Thomas Jefferson andSally Hemings. One of his slaves
was thirty year difference, and thatone by modern times, Yeah, I
don't know a Lodern Times is CatherineZata Jones and Michael Douglas twenty five years
difference. They've been mary since twothousand. We'll talk a little bit about

(02:42):
that maybe in this podcast. They'vebeen married the Times two thousand, they've
been married twenty four years. Itkind of bucks the statistics we were looking
at earlier. Yeah, and sodoes this one. Macron and Brigitte the
President of France their twenty four yearsdifference, and that one's a little bit
murmurky because they have a different typeof life story there. Harrison Ford and

(03:07):
the actor the Matrix actor, canyou Rea Reeves? Can his girlfriend or
partner? She's much older as well? I thought, oh that was I
think he stopped dating her. Ithink she was about fifteen or ten years
older. It had gotten the otherway on that one, for males being
younger and females older. Yeah,yeah, yeah, I mean that you
see that less obviously where the maleis younger. But it happened in case

(03:32):
mcron case. Yeah. Yeah.Kron was the teacher. I think his
wife was the teacher at the time. When he was in high school.
Harrison Ford and Carystal flock Hart weretwenty two years apart and Belichick. Now
we talked about forty nine years.That's you know what I thought twenty five

(03:52):
years was a lot, but almostfifty years difference in age, that's my
age. Goat, he's the goat. Yeah, that's right, that's your
age. He's the He is definitelythe goat when it comes to age difference
dating. But you know, here'sthe thing. I have a little bit
of experience in this area, havingbeen married for thirteen plus years to a

(04:15):
woman twenty five years junior. Wewere together for I think a total of
somewhere around fifteen years, and thenbefore that, I was married for twenty
five years to a woman who isa year or so younger than I am.
So, you know, I've seenthe relationship difference in age, and
since my second divorce, I've datedwomen as young as twenty four and as

(04:41):
old as sixty five. And weyou know, we have our opinions in
terms of who were attracted to basedon a number of different behavioral factors,
and some of us put a premiumon age. My daughter, who we
had in an earlier podcast, believesthat there should be a one or two

(05:02):
year difference plus minus she always,you know, was very conservative in terms
of age difference in relationship until shemet her current boyfriend, who I think
is three or four years younger thanshe is, which is a stretch for
her. Right. I think ageis one element. Religion is another element.

(05:28):
The color of their hair could bea consideration. Yeah, when you're
looking for a partner, what attractsyou can be a lot of different things.
In age is one. Now,some people are fixated and they have
a fetish for a particular age group. The criminal of that is, of
course pedophilia. Right that the personthat they are interested in has to be

(05:53):
someone that's not of legal consent age. Whereas there's been criticism of let me
finish this point in Leo DiCaprio,it's been joked that the women age out
right once they hit their twenty fifthbirthday. He salutes them and gets you
know, you're done. So Ithink for some people age becomes a criteria.

(06:19):
But I think as we get intothis conversation that I think there are
a lot of other factors besides age. The only comment I was going to
make there the pedophilia one. Thisone is one that I teach a lot,
So I just want to make surethe audience is clear on it.
I might have mentioned this in anotherpodcast too. Pedophilia, the clinical definition

(06:39):
of it as somebody who's sexually attractedto or aroused by pre pewbescent children.
So we're talking under thirteen. Wedo not have a clinical diagnosis for anybody
who's thirty and they're attracted to asixteen year old, that's not a clinical
diagnosis anymore. However, criminology doeshave a classification for them called a hebe

(07:00):
h ebe, and those are attractedto adolescents. And when they've done studies
they have seen some differences there wherewhen they've measured them, they've noticed the
arousal. For the Heba files,very few of them crossed over to pedophilia,
And if they did cross over toadults over eighteen, most of the
time the adults were adults who lookedlike they were adolescents. So there were

(07:21):
twenty four year old who look likethey were eighteen, and the other way
around too. Pedophiles seem to havemore of an attraction towards prepubescent, very
little towards adolescents, and very littletowards adults. Again, there's exceptions to
be made. And my last pointto that, which was interesting is that
one of the theories why they wereattracted to these teenagers is there was a

(07:43):
interpersonal deficit during the high school era. So they either felt pressure for dating,
they got rejected, and now they'rekind of making up lost time and
they're maybe even stuck mentally at thatage when it comes to relationships. They
could be still successful, but yeah, stuck relationally at that age. I

(08:05):
never got that girl that I wantedto go out with whenever, you know,
she rejected me, whatever it is, and now I got money,
Now they will go out with me. Kind of thing is I'm twenty eight.
That's theories. That's interesting and andthere may be some truth anecdotally.
If you listen anybody in our audience, it listens to Howard Stern. He
uses a lot of self deprecate,deprecating humor. And one of the things

(08:26):
he talks about is, you know, his younger wife, Beth. I
think it's like fifteen years or sodifference in age that she wouldn't be with
him if he wasn't you know,a powerful, uh popular, you know,
well known celebrity. So I thinkthere is certainly situations, examples where

(08:46):
there is an attraction to someone outsideof their physical attraction. There the especially
with women and men, the ideaof financial freedom, of being able to
know that this powerful guy who's verywealthy can take care of them and they
have a sugar daddy. In fact, that's a whole thing. You know.

(09:07):
I'm dating now, and the wholegenre of the dating world is young
women in the typically in their twenties, looking for middle aged you know,
daddy bod men like myself to betheir sugar daddy. And I think it's
just a euphemism for prostitution. Andyou know, personally my moral compasses,

(09:28):
I don't uh, I don't createsex as a commodity. I think it.
I hate the term cheapens it,but it it certainly changes the uh,
the appeal of physical intimacy when there'sa price tag on it, right,
Sugar mamas as well, sugar mamma. I'd love to have a sugar

(09:50):
mama, but uh, you know, the reality is it in either case,
it kind of cheapens the whole processif you're interested in an emotional attachment
along with the physical intimacy. Havingsaid that, an important point is there
are a lot of people from aphysical, physiological and psychological perspective that can

(10:11):
clearly separate the physical nature of intimacyfrom the emotional aspects of it. They
don't need to have that emotional connectionto have enjoyable physical intimacy. And and
there are others, including myself thatthat really seek that that that connection.
Emotionally demosexual, I think is theterm that's thrown about. But what's interesting

(10:35):
is when you have these December Maykind of romances. Jordan Hudson, I
believe, is a young woman's namethat is dating Bill Belichick the Goat,
and their cases I think you mentionedforty nine years difference in their in their
ages. There we don't know otherthan what you read in the in you

(10:56):
know, the media, why theymay be attracted. You can make assumptions
that, you know, she's interestedin the financial freedom, perhaps even his
emotional maturity, the ability to gotravel and be seen. She as an
instant celebrity. Nobody knew of JordanHudson until she became Bill Belichick's girlfriend.

(11:20):
So status, yeah, the statusof it, the power. So we
go back to what you know,we talk about motivation of behavior PEPs right,
personal there's probably some personal motivation there. Economic you know, he's doing
pretty well economically, so she doeswell being with him for that reason.
Power. I mean, he's aHall of Fame coach that she's hooked up

(11:43):
with, right. And the lastis social the groups that she can now
associate with that she wouldn't have hadaccess to. So maybe an amalgam of
those four categories for them. Yeah, in her case. Now, the
question is what would build bellach Checkbe interested in this young, hot looking
woman for I think the obvious thingis physical attraction, Right, She's an

(12:05):
attractive woman. He's definitely got anexaggerated dad bod, and she she looks
well toned and the cheerleader. Yeah. And then you know, we don't
know this well, we don't knowthe type of relationship they have, but
you can assume that there's the assumptionof sexual energy on his part to her,

(12:28):
you know, a young woman inher twenties. But having said that
and having personal experience dating older women, I don't know that you know,
the older women can have some goodsexual energy, you know what I'm saying.
Yeah, it really depends on theperson too. It's really you know,
syncratic because it depends. There's alot of couples that most couples,
we usually will have a difference betweensexual energies. One would wanted more often

(12:52):
than others. Some have wanted itonce or twice a week, some wanted
it once a month. Well,I agree, I think that, And
that's the point I would make interms of this topic. And I've been
in two types of relationships. Onewhere you know, my college sweetheart,
we got married out of college.We spent eight years in our marriage with

(13:13):
without children, and she was aflight attendant and I would meet her all
exotic places and we'd you know,have you know, passionate, you know,
sexual energy. But the age differencewas you know, relatively small.
And then in my second marriage andthe relationship significant twenty five years difference,

(13:35):
And it wasn't it wasn't something thatwe really talked about or really even this
you know it experienced. It wasother people's observation, or it came up
as a cocktail point, the differencein age, But it really and I
think now it may change since thedivorce, but at the time, there
was no evidence that there was anyand you know, people didn't come up

(13:58):
to me as hey is that yourdaughter. That didn't happen. And the
reality is h we were together forfive years, married, five years uh
together about seven almost eight years beforewe had our daughter December. May you
know you're looking at five months thereabouts. That's the old cliche that these are

(14:22):
these are trysts, these are affairsof the heart in most cases, regardless
of age. My this is myopinion and observation and study of this relationship
where there is actually a physical attractionsand there's shared sexual energy, there's emotional
maturity that that is accepted for both. In other words, you have all

(14:45):
four of those things, and youhave you know, the financial means to
be a couple regardless of age.Within five to seven years, you're going
to see a maturation of the relationship. And and that's the critical of whether
the relationship survives because you're transitioning fromthe purely almost purely physical passionate phase of

(15:09):
a relationship into the more mature lovestage of that relationship. And a lot
of a lot of couples can't survivethat transition or transition properly from the adrenaline
driven and dowrphin soaked and dopamine heightenedrelationship of passion and roller coaster to the

(15:31):
more predictable, mundane routine relationship that'sdriven by oxytocin and serotonin and the love.
And that's where that seven year itch, that's where, regardless of age,
couples start questioning, is this allthere is? Is this as good

(15:52):
as it gets? And that's Ithink where you see the difference. You
had the statistic where the six forage differences and couples staying together. Oh
yeah, Before I get to those, a couple of things I wanted to
highlight. I think the biggest agejust difference that I saw that I could
find was sixty three years and thatwas Anna Nicole Smith. Wow, and

(16:15):
how she was clearly a gold diggerthere. That was one year marriage when
it passed away. And by theway, DiCaprio is kind of interesting.
He's forty nine. So this maybe more of a media thing than anything
else. Because the list of girlfriends, which is really astonishing, I didn't
even have I have to keep scrolling. The list of girlfriends was Blake Lively

(16:37):
aged thirty six. Yeah, Camillamorone twenty seven. I don't know when
he dated Blake Lively right now wouldbe a thirteen year difference, but it
could have been only eight or nine. I don't think she's much older than
thirty seven or so now, butjust sell Bunching forty three. Yeah,
obviously he was much closer in agethere Aaron, But I think that's another
one. I don't know that hedated her in the forties because she was

(17:00):
with she was with what's his name, Tom Brady. But even if she
ate him ten years ago, hewas ten years younger. They've only been
a few years. They're only sixyears apart. But my point is,
yeah, yeah, okay, soif he dated it, there's six years
apart. Blake Lively is thirteen yearsapart, and he dated Aaron Heatherton,
who's fourteen years apart. But thenKristen Zang who's actually older than him,

(17:25):
and Naomi Campbell who's older than him. Amber valleta older than him. So
it's kind of funny how since thatmost of them models, I'll give him
that. There's a couple of singersand actresses that popped out, but it
was probably about sixty forty sixty percentbeing younger by a decade and then forty
percent being older. Your question wasI just wanted to make that that was

(17:47):
kind of an interesting That is interestinghow we get viewed. And this will
lead to my question at the endof this statistic here in a minute too,
why I brought up to the DiCapriothing. A couple who has a
one year age difference as a threepercent greater likelihood of divorce. Wow,
that's just three percent. By theway, folks, divorce statistics are tricky
because they say it's fifty percent,but that's not accurate either. It's an

(18:10):
average. And the way they lookat is they ask they look at people
who've been married and marriage certificates,and then they compare it to divorces that
have been filed. This is howthey look at that statistic. It's very
difficult statistic to look at. Andit's actually, if you marry somebody who's
older than twenty five, makes morethan the average income and it has a
college degree or hire, the divorcerate is about fifteen to twenty percent.

(18:33):
But anyway back to this five yearage difference risk goes up to eighteen percent,
ten year age difference goes up tothirty nine percent, twenty year age
difference goes up to ninety five percent, and I guess my two questions for
you. Andy. One, we'llgo directly off the numbers, because you've
made a great point prior to theshow, and I'm wondering if we should
even record those pre show interview preshow conversations sometimes because they can be fun.

(19:02):
But you made a great point aboutwhen these people get together can make
a big difference. Do you connectwith somebody at twenty do you connect somebody
at thirty and forty? I'll letyou elaborate on that. And the second
part, back to Belichick and Jordan, how much is social influencers play a
role here because, like you mentionedthat power circle, that name has propelled

(19:26):
her now. I mean, Iwould not be surprised if in three years
from now she gets an announcing positionsomewhere in ESPN or something, because now
she's got a name recognition, whichwe all know is very powerful and can
be very lucrative. I was readingmy newsfeed this morning, then the Hok
two wee girl is now cashing inon the Hok two wee video. She's

(19:52):
doing endorsements and they estimate that she'sgoing to make well over a million dollars
doing the endorsement. So yeah,you're right, Well, that's just the
nature of our society today. Uhthat Uh, celebrity can be you know,
come to you and and you cashin or you don't. But going
back to the earlier point about thematuration, I I personally think, uh

(20:15):
age and maybe this is you know, a bit self service, uh because
of my history and background, ButI think that age is is one component
uh that helps determine whether there isa lack of a better term, a
vibe between two people and attraction betweentwo people. Uh. My in retrospect,

(20:40):
I can look at the second coupling, my my second marriage and say,
okay, were there elements of aBengali kind of relationship going on?
You know, the the mentor mentormentory. Yeah, my ex wife was
wanted to be an FBI agent.She wanted to have the you know,

(21:00):
the career that that that I had. So was that the attraction or was
she truly physically attracted to me?We we took a test, you know
before our marriage the Catholic Church givesyou and the priest said that our answers
together were the highest that he hadever recorded. We were very complimentary and

(21:25):
and and sinc and I and Iwould argue that age was not a factor
attraction physically and emotionally were the reasonsthat we got together and the reasons we
ended not being successful and maintaining ourmarriage. So it leads to the point
that there are different stages of maturation, and somebody in their twenties, it's

(21:52):
thinking more immediate. I didn't thinkabout retirement when I was in my twenties.
You know, when I became anFBI agent and we had the retirement
function, they were saying, youneed to put five percent. I'm like
five percent, screw that. Ineed the money now, right. So
in your twenties and even in yourthirties, you're trying to you know,
get a house. You're trying toaccumulate things and do things that will set
you up as you get older.So your your mind doesn't think about being

(22:17):
fifty five or sixty five, andyou think about also at that stage,
you're thinking about passion, you rollercoaster, and you know, the fireworks of
a relationship. So you're in adifferent place in terms of maturity in your
twenties and your thirties. My experiencenow at dating forties, fifties, sixty
year old women in many cases they'redivorced, they're you know, they've gone

(22:41):
through that stage where they were married. The average, I think statistics tell
us the average age of a firstmarriage is twenty five. The average divorce
is thirty. The average marriage,the first marriage lasts about five years.
So the what happens is you startgoing through four or five years of dating

(23:02):
and self analysis, and then youwant a relationship. And this is what
I see online. I'm looking fora ride and die. I'm looking for
my bff, I'm looking for mypartner in crime, right, and they're
looking for oneness. Esther Perell talksabout oneness, right, so that partner

(23:25):
that they can confide in, thatthey can trust, will have their back.
And that's a little different than theperson I want to meet, the
person who I can rip their clothesoff in the hallway and drag into the
bedroom and you know, do allkinds of wonderful, fun nasty things with
right and the confidence of our home. That's a little different. Now.

(23:45):
Having said that, can you haveboth? And that is the age old
question. Can you be in loveand love someone and age dependent? I
think that you know, while youyou have to be in sync as a
couple I think you have different levelsof maturation as a couple as well as
you grow as a couple, andcouples do grow apart, so and you

(24:07):
know, again, biographically, inmy case, the age difference was less
of an issue when we were firsttogether and for the first decade and a
half thereabouts. But when there wasa conflict that became one of the you
know, became an issue, isit? And and in part that issue
may have been a result of thelack of passion in that relationship and the

(24:34):
fact that we had grown too muchas a oneness that the passion was completely
smothered and the you know, silverlining if you will, in the cloud
is it? That demise of thatrelationship, while it led to a lot
of you know, pain, alsoopened up avenues for exploration. In the

(24:56):
last couple of years. You know, I've been int usd to some weird
ass concepts. Right. One ise n M. Ethical non monogamy.
Are you familiar with it? Ethicalnon monogamy? Yeah? No, what's
that one? Man? Okay?These are interesting millennial terms, I think.

(25:17):
But again, and I've dated sincemy divorce women twenty five to sixty
five, and generally speaking, it'sthe twenties thirties, you hear this.
They're in a marriage, they're ina relationship. I think they've gone through
that period, you know that theCoolidge effect, the passion has waned.
So they but they now they havechildren, they have financial obligations, and

(25:38):
they don't really they don't want toseek a divorce. So they discuss this
with their and it was brought up, you know, and somebody I know
really well the spouse came to himand said, have you ever considered an
open marriage? Well, ethical nonmonogamy is a form of open marriage.

(25:59):
Right, It's a hall pass.It is I'm going to ethically tell you
that I'm gonna cheat on you,and you can ethically cheat on me.
To me, ethical non monogamy inthe conventional sense of what a marriage is
to me is an oxymoron, justlike an open marriage is an oxymoron.
You can't have an open marriage becausea marriage is a commitment between two people,

(26:22):
right unless you embrace a polymors lifestylewhere you have multiple partners. But
to me, that is that's notacceptable. But that's that Those are the
types of relationships that you see intoday's dating world. I'll see women that
are married, and they'll define themselvesas solo poly so a polymors relationship.

(26:45):
They're married, yeah, but theywant they want to have other partners.
And for me, you're either ina partnership that's exclusive and committed or you're
not. And if you're not,like I'm single now, i'm you know,
I free to date who I wantto date until I commit myself.

(27:06):
But and we can talk about thisin another podcasts and another topic, but
it extends to relationships. Our societytoday has lost the definition or concept of
what commitment means. And so Ithink when you're talking about age differences,
there's different levels of maturation that happenthat are not tied to a specific age.

(27:29):
I think it's a stage of life. And those women in their twenties
and thirties are looking for more quoteunquote passion. Not to say that women
in their forties, fifties, andsixties don't want passion, but they've already
lived and understand that they're looking fora passionate They're looking for a good relationship
with passionate moments as opposed to apassionate relationship which is very hard to sustain.

(27:52):
Excellent points, Yes, so it'sinteresting too that it's a lot of
it has to do with how youresolve conflict in the relationship. There are
five styles of conflict resolution. Right. We talked about I think in the
past, force or competing contending right, zero sum game. You mentioned it

(28:14):
in an earlier podcast. That's onewhere I'm right, you're wrong, and
there has to be a winner anda loser. Couples in love don't really
use force very often to resolve conflict. They would rather use collaboration or compromise.
And then we collaborate. You're lookingfor a win win, right,

(28:36):
and and compromise you're you're willing toaccept some some fifty to fifty kind of
you know, middle of the road, meet me in the middle, as
the song says. And then theother two were avoidance, which in my
waning year year and a half ofmy second marriage I got very good at
my ex wife was even better.And accommodation. Accommodating it's simply surrendering.

(29:02):
I look at you're familiar, veryfamiliar with the fight, fight or flight
model right to conflict and crisis,but I think there are other elements of
fight or flight. I think there'sa camouflage or deflecting, as well as
negotiations, and those couples that areable to resolve conflict through negotiations, fletching

(29:26):
can avoid the crisis because crisis doesn'tjust happen, it resolve. An unresolved
conflict comes from dissonance or disruptor missed. I don't feel defined or suppressed.
So in many putting my last one, there were red flo well before the

(29:51):
divorce, and those red flags thatdissonance in the relationship, and I'm trained
to and I did, and wesuppressed them, both of us. When
I would bring it up, shewould say, it's nothing, it's a
phase. Well, it wasn't justa phase. It was my ex wife
going through a calculation is the juiceworth the squeeze? Do I still want

(30:15):
to be married to this guy?And over a period of you know,
some months, a year, yearand a half, the answer to that
question was no, I don't.And so then it becomes a question of
how do you consciously quote unquote consciouslyuncouple And and it's really maybe a good

(30:36):
place to end my part of thisconversation about age, I think has very
little to do with it, moreto do with the rational choice of whether
to stay together and whether the juicewas worth the squeeze, and moreover the
question of am I willing to quoteI hate the term settle, but I'm

(31:00):
am I willing to redefine what Iexpect from a relationship. My ex wife
was very clear that she wanted torecapture the passion quote unquote that we had
when we first met. Perhaps shewas still stuck, you know, in

(31:22):
terms of maturity back in the twentiesand thirties, where you know passion and
the immediacy and you know, everythingis new and refreshing and exploratory, and
she thought that what we had waspredictable, mundane and routine was the term,
and wasn't satisfactory to her. Sobut there was a lack of empathy

(31:48):
because she didn't realize that I alsowas experiencing the lack of passion that was
diminished, you know why. Butthe difference was the maturation. I understood
that we had been together for adecade plus, we had shared a child,
we had bought the house. Thiswas as good as it's going to
get. And I knew that basedon my previous relationship which she had,

(32:09):
she didn't have that benchmark, andso I was willing to quote accept settle,
if you want to use that term, with the true love, the
oxytose and the serotonin, the trustthat we had built between us in terms
of predictability and routine, until thatpredictability and routine was disturbed, and so

(32:32):
because of the conditions were then causeda crisis or conflict. It inevitably led
to a question of the relationship itself. And the thing that the therapist said
is that that stuck with me isthat tolerance directly correlates to how in love

(32:57):
you are with someone, and sothe more tolerant you are, you're probably
in love with that person. Theless in love you are, the less
tolerant you become. And one distinctionbetween loving someone and being in love with
them is that in love has presectconditions. So fidelity, for example,

(33:20):
is a preset condition to be inlove with someone unless you're in one of
these polymorus relationships and a monogamous relationshipbeing exclusive and monogamous is a condition.
And if that person is not well, guess what trust is broken? And
when trust goes down, Carlos,what goes up? When trust goes down?
Controls then So when trust goes downin a relationship, controls go up.

(33:45):
And irrespective of age differences, youcould be born on the same day,
in the same year and being acommitted relationship. But if the trust
is broken, controls will increase,and that causes a negative spiral in many
cases. Unless a third party,intermediary a therapist can come in and reset

(34:07):
the trust bar by two committed people, the relationship, regardless of the age,
is going to end. And soI wish Bill Belichick. I wish
him well. With Jordan Hudson,the statistics are stacked against them. You
said ninety five percent chance of failureafter a twenty year difference, and they

(34:28):
doubled that, more than doubled it. So aim, let's have a one
hundred percent plus chance of not lastingvery long. But I wish them well.
I wish them well, and I'msure they're very happy in the moment.
And I think at the end ofthe day, that's all we can
ask. I guess my final pointswould be for you folks out there.

(34:49):
Everybody's got their own thing in life. Everybody's got to make their own choices.
Well, we talked about today givingstatistics and things are guidelines, maybe
recommendations, maybe best practices. Becausethe percentages, these aren't strict, hard
rules. We've seen exceptions. There'sa lot of anomalies out there. And
the other thing about Belichick, he'snot married. They may never even think
about getting married. Maybe this isjust a fun time for the next six

(35:12):
months. Who knows nothing wrong withthat? Everybody nothing wrong? Yeah,
in this case, that's a decisionbetween two consenting adults. There's nothing else
to say about that part, atleast for me personally. But what I
want to say is future topics thatcould be coming off of spinning off of
this as I was hearing you talk, and there's a lot of things we
can discuss in the future. Oneof them would be how long before you

(35:38):
make the move into marriage? Right, there's again guidelines and rules on that.
Should you date five months, wouldyou date two years? We'll look
at that in the future. We'lllook at communication differences, life after divorce.
How does children change a relationship?Because they do it's a big change
for people you just mentioned life afterdivorce. I think resiliency is a critical

(36:04):
topic that extends beyond marriage into yourhealth and welfare and work. I think
that's a great topic to discuss toin the future. Another one, Yeah,
a great topic there marriage is yourparents. Do they have an impact
on how you view what a marriageis like and how you relate to one
another. Lots of topics to discuss, Andy, I can't wait. I
know we got to go. Thankyou so much again, Andy, Thank

(36:28):
you Carlos. I enjoyed it.It's always cathartic to talk to you about
relationships in the psychology of romance.Likewise, I learned a lot from you
as well. You know what thedo folks share? Subscribe hit that I
like, But if you have anycomments, le's go ahead and leave those
as well.