Damn You Hollywood: War of the Worlds (2025 film)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
The following may contain offensive language, adult humor, and or
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opinions expressed by anyone speaker does not explicitly or necessarily
reflect or represent those of Mark Ratlage or W two
M Network. Please listen with caution or don't listen at all.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Whorad for Hollywood where stars are living large dim mansions
with their servants and their credit cards and charge with fame.
That's fleeting, but the egos never change.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Where everyone's a genius except the ones who really arrange.
Hooray for Hollywood, where the scandals always sell, where every
whispered secret is a new tabloids. Tell oh, how we
adore the endless red cockpit, the law.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
Theay for Hollywood. Well less is always more.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Well less is always more. But I'll tell you who's
not Gavin Napier from the Casual Heroes. Oh my god,
he's the third man. But what side is he on?

Speaker 4 (01:23):
Not ice cubes?

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Why are you sitting in the closet.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
So we've done a little bit of renovation and turned
closet into office space, and so not just for things
like this, for other work projects. I've got a place
to go. That's a little quiet that doesn't disturb anyone else,
and that I'm free to decorate as I choose.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Why is it when women decide men need a place
of their own, it's always the closet.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
So in defense of my lovely wife, I decided this one.
This it's actually attached to the game room, and the
bonus of this is it is directly down the hall
from our son's bedroom, but there are multiple doors that
I can close in between, so I don't disturb him
while he's sleeping.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
That's fair, you know how I chose to deal with that,
to scream everything and listen to Metallica when my children
were infants, and then play all the podcasts that we've
ever done ever at night for them to go to
bed to So now the world will crack in half
and my kids will sleep through it.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
He wakes up to very specific things. He can sleep
through a lot, but very specific things will wake him up.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I want your son now, six seven eight five. I
was close. Yeah, Well, Jack cap up. Cavin Napier is
with us. I call him a casual hero because I
don't know what else to call him. But let me
introduce the show proper ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
children of all ages. You are listening to a rat
Aligon Broadcasting premiere podcast. Damn you Hollywood and him over

(03:01):
the Asia host for Robert Twinfree Hooray, hooray.

Speaker 5 (03:05):
There is no jubilation to be found tonight. There is
no mirth, there's no merrymaking, there is no optimism. The
existence of this movie is proof of absolute awfulness, and
the only comfort it provides is through the law of opposites.
Absolute good must exist somewhere in some capacity.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
And what movie is that?

Speaker 5 (03:29):
Robert Heaven help us. We are discussing the twenty twenty
five variation. Variation I use in air quotes of War
of the worlds.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Yes, War of the World is in fact the twenty
twenty five American screen life science fiction thriller film based
on HG. Wells eighteen ninety eight novel The.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
War of the World The Hell it Is.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
The film was directed by Rich Lee in theory day
screenplay by Artificial Intelligence named Kenneth A. Gold and Mark
Hyman from a story by Gold. It stars Ice Cube
from the group NWA, who once told everyone to fuck
the Polies, Eva Longoria Clark, Gregg of Agents of Shield

(04:16):
Fame Andrea Savage, Henry Hunter, Hall Imon Benson, Devin Bostik,
and Michael O'Neill. It was released by Universal Pictures on
Amazon Prime on a dare on July thirtieth, twenty twenty five.
Hey get this. It has received negative reviews from critics. Gavin,
why are you here? This is? This is Gavin. You
are one of those people, Gavinkevin, a peer of the

(04:39):
casual heroes. You are one of those people who might,
like Robert Winfrey, only walk through the most lush forest,
eating fruit from the finest tree. And yet you come
down here where I where I participate in life like
a raccoon, rummaging through the garbage. You know, I don't understand.
Why have you joined a raccoon life.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
I've seen three movies in the last ten days. I've
seen Superman, I've seen weapons, and I've seen more of
the worlds.

Speaker 5 (05:14):
Well, some of those are mistakes.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
And as the old theme song goes, you take the
good with the bad, and sometimes getting down in the
raccoon life is entertaining. I mean, Mystery Science Theater made
a career out of it. I will argue this is
not the right type of bad for mystery science theater.

(05:40):
This is not the enjoyable bad. This is not the
pleasant bad so good. It's bad. This isn't even Tommy
why so bad? This is just bad. But we're going
to talk about it anyway.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
This is why didn't someone stop them bad?

Speaker 5 (06:00):
I wish someone had never have.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
I longed for tom Cruise more than these minutes.

Speaker 5 (06:09):
I would have taken the nineteenth like the nineteen fifties
version over this.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
There was a twenty twenty one film Jason and I
reviewed it on a triple feature, like one of the
first iterations of triple feature, was called Lockdown, and it
was a romantic comedy heist film directed by Doug Lyman,
and it was this kind of a thing where because
because this was in like the miss of covid uh,

(06:38):
this was a lot of sort of like shot on
zoom and stuff like that. But but it was done
like purposely so because they were they were commenting on
the Lockdowns at the time. And that was with Anne
Hathaway and the guy that plays Baron Morto whose name
I can't pronounce. And it worked, bet one. It had
better actors to you know, had a better script. It's

(07:00):
actually been removed from HBO Max since then, but for
reasons we don't know. But I don't mind the concept
of I guess it's called screen life, which I've never
heard before. I don't mind the concept of that sort
of thing, but you have to be very careful with
how you execute it. You can't do this. This is

(07:21):
almost like this is almost like like a checklist of
everything that could have possibly done wrong.

Speaker 5 (07:28):
So this kind of film has been done a handful
of times. You mentioned Lockdown a few years back. There
was Missing before that, there was Searching gem in the
Hologram spends it spends a chunk of its time in
this kind of a format.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, they do. It's a lot of YouTube videos.

Speaker 5 (07:47):
There's a combination screen life and found footage horror movie
called Megan is Missing, which I don't recommend as a
general rule, that does a lot of this. It's one
of the lazier aesthetics. I can't call it the laziest,

(08:11):
and I certainly don't say that it can't be used
to some degree of effect, because I'm sure someone will
come out with a good one of these. I just
haven't seen it yet. But yeah, the notion that what's
the best way to wind down after you've been on
zoom calls all day. Let's watch a zoom call with
ice Cube.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Thank you, Pitch meaning guy.

Speaker 5 (08:31):
I stole that from him, and I am not ashamed
of it.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Your thoughts on these screen life movies, cavin Have you
seen many of them besides the ones that we mentioned,
if any of those at all.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
I haven't seen those. This was my first experience with
something truly The entire movie exists as a zoom call
in FaceTime. It intrigued me when I heard about the concept,
mostly because I could not fathom away that it would
work well for ninety minutes, and I was I was right.

(09:02):
As it turns out, really about ten minutes is kind
of stretching it. But that's also coming from someone who
will viscerally avoid any type of FaceTime calls and makes
no video appearances on work conference calls. I'm audio only
and will always be audio only. The only reason that
I'm participating visually here is because I don't want to

(09:24):
be the odd man out. But I was intrigued by
the concept when I heard it, and I thought, well,
the cast is okay enough that I can at least
watch it and I was wrong about that part as well.

(09:45):
I can find something good to say about almost anything
that I've ever watched, but then we have this. So
my initial reaction to this format is it should probably
be left behind in that twenty twenty to twenty twenty
four era where people were not allowed to commune with

(10:07):
one another. Leave this type of filmmaking in that era,
and don't bring it up again.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
There was a Mission Impossible movie, and I think I
might have talked to you about it, because I think
you were on those long Road to Ruins where a
lot of it was on the computer, and I remember
not I think it's maybe the third one, and I
remember not loving that Mission Impossible movie because of it,
because I don't go to the movies to watch another screen.

(10:36):
And it's funny to me that like the road from
that to this, like how it's gone. Because I think
you're right. I think I think you can creatively use
but screens are a part of our lives. I spend
most of my day on one doing being a teletherapist
and a TikToker, and then I do this. I think
the only time I'm not on screens these days is

(10:57):
you know, when I'm sleeping.

Speaker 5 (11:00):
Really turn on your Twitch stream to just show you
while you're sleeping. It's apparently a decent audience.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
I'm getting to that point. I just like, watch me
take a nap. So my point is, and then we
can move on. I think you can use the screens effectively.
Have seen some movies do it, but but you it
takes a special kind of actor. You need to use

(11:25):
some fairly creative effects. This does none of those things.
Last thing I want to bring up and then we
can get into the plot synopsis. So I know that
you two are down with the urban culture. Robert specifically,
he is a friend and an ally of the black people,
and he is down with opp That's what he tells me.
At least you know him. But Gavin, are you of.

Speaker 5 (11:46):
I leitimately don't.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Avenue fan of ice Cube and his various works of literature.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
I mean, there are aspects of ice Cube that I
do enjoy. Some of the the NWA stuff definitely pops
up on my shuffle as I'm making my commute to
and from work, and there have been projects where ice
Cube has been acceptable as an actor. I mean, I'm

(12:14):
certainly not the target demographic for any of the Friday movies,
but I can appreciate them for the type of comedies
they are and say that.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
The first Friday movie I was not a big fan of.

Speaker 5 (12:26):
Yeah, and I mean, believe it or not, I have
seen those two movies.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
But what they're trying to do they did fine. And
he has proven to be at least an adequate actor
in a supporting role in certain things. Award winning, certainly
not but watchable.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
He's getting some awards for this.

Speaker 4 (12:52):
Yep, Yep, he's definitely going to get a couple. I
don't know that asking see year old or however it
is ice Cube with a gray beard looking slightly disheveled,
sitting in his apartment to carry a movie is really
playing to his strengths.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah. I enjoyed his barbershop movies, you know, and on
the occasion that I've seen him in like a a
silly action movie, because he's such a character he can
pull it off. I thought he was great in Anaconda.
I'm on the record of saying that. But yeah, this, yes,
which I've never seen. Three Kings. But all right, unless

(13:35):
Robert would like to tell us his long storied history
with the nw A and ice Cube solo career and
the Lynch Mob and West Side Connection, of which he
knows all about all of these things. Didn't you go
into the plot synopsis?

Speaker 5 (13:49):
Yeah, this will be quick. So a Department of Homeland
Security operative logs on and it's ice Cube, and somehow
in this movie, that's about the least believable thing that
goes on. He begins his day by spying on his children,

(14:10):
hacking into his daughter's smart fridge and lecturing her about
her nutritional intake, and deletes a game from his son's
Steam account because father son drama. Then a bunch of
meteors fall out of the sky and a NASA employee
decides the best thing to do is walk up to

(14:31):
these in street clothes. A bunch of machines pop out
of these, the tripods of War of the World's Fame.
Chaos ensues. The Department of Homeland Security apparently gets all
its information from CNN, which is tragic beyond belief, and

(14:53):
the machines start running around. They blow up a few structures.
Everyone gets nervous. There's still some drama where ice Cube
price to get his daughter to a hospital after she
gets injured. He acts into a tesla he calls her
the father of her child because who's an Amazon delivery driver.
Not the first or last reference to Amazon. In this

(15:13):
Amazon Prime video distributed by Amazon on their streaming service
Amazon Prime in case you missed it, he's sort of
going back and forth with his son, who's like, Dad,
there's stuff I have to tell you, and he goes,
the world's ending. Shut up, I got stuff to do,
like sit in this chair, but just keep sitting in
the chair. And ultimately it comes out that these things

(15:37):
are after our data because ones and Zeros sustain them.
They were brought here by the activation of a massive
government surveillance program called Goliath, which has been revealed to
the public at large by a mysterious hacker revealed to

(15:58):
be ice cube Son and ice Cube then auditions to
be on Sesame Street by going no, it's you, it's you.
When he finds out who that hacker is, he then
injects a digital virus into the Ones and Zeros that
is absorbed by one of these machines that kills all

(16:19):
of them. He then abandons his post because he has
lost faith in the government, and he warns the incoming
administration we will be watching because There's nothing quite like
admitting to your digital crimes on the Internet with a
government official to indicate that this is an intelligent person

(16:40):
making good decisions. And that's it. That's this god awful
war of the worlds.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Kevin, what did you think of this cinematic masterpiece, this
eighty four minute use of Hollywood production material.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Well, I'm assuming it's a tax right off for someone.

Speaker 5 (17:00):
I would assume.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
There had to be some sort of obligation to make
this movie somewhere, and they realized if they didn't make it,
they were going to lose something. I honestly would have
preferred they'd taken the loss. I would love to have
a conversation with the director and the casting agent on
how they pitched this legitimately to the actors involved, to say, hey,

(17:26):
you don't really have to do anything, but do you
want to make a movie? And there's I mean, there
are there are plot holes here that we could walk
one of the tripods through. The cluelessness of ice Cube
as director of Homeland Security, director of cybersecurity, or whatever

(17:51):
he is, and his inability to understand the concept of
video game streaming, or the inability to put together what's
hiding directly under his nose and in front of his
face for what is supposed to be the shocking reveal
halfway through the movie to kick off Act three. It's

(18:13):
bad writing, it's terrible directing, it's worth acting, and it
never gets better. But it's a movie that I've seen
now it's occupying space in my brain. But it's not
the worst movie that I've seen. I've seen worse, not many,

(18:34):
but I have seen worse.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Chris baileyum with the hot take. Can you order a
physical copy of this movie on Amazon? The irony of
it would be amazing. This movie also shows that those
old LimeWire viruses didn't have a purpose after all. That's funny, Chris.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
I would have been more entertained if they had actually
used the LimeWire.

Speaker 5 (18:58):
At least one of the tripods go going to Napster
and then just falling over dead. What have at least
had in some comedy to this unintentional.

Speaker 4 (19:08):
Tragedy making the progression through Napster LimeWire Bear Share, realizing
that the tripods have contracted computer aids and watching them
all just literally melt down into a cascade of ones
and zeros.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Just retreat as they say we can't conquer the humans.
The computer technology is so bad. I want to read
this because you asked about like the production history, and
I think this is fascinating. I'd like to spend my
craft element time discussing it. In September of twenty twenty, Hey, guys,
what was going on in twenty twenty eh in the

(19:47):
midst of it, not much. Yes, me and Alecta's were
reviewing bad movie because that was all that was out there.
In September of twenty twenty, in the midst of the
COVID nineteen pandemic, ice Cube joining the lead role in
an untitled film produced by Timir Beck Mambaitav, which would
have been directed by Rich Lee with a screenplay by
Kenneth a Goal for Universal Pictures. Universal on Drugs at

(20:11):
the time was intrigued by the project by said name
use of screen life technology, described as having quote the
look of commercial event film, but the budget of a
contained thriller, which also allowed the actors and crew members
to work in individual workspaces, which was seen as useful
regarding the pandemic's impact on the film industry. In October,

(20:34):
Eva Longoria joined the cast principal photography took place in
late twenty twenty and twenty twenty four. It was revealed
to be an adaptation of the eighteen ninety eight non
covel World Worlds. The film was produced using a screen
life technique that places the audience inside the action through
the lens of phones, computers, and tablets. The director added,

(20:54):
if aliens Invada today, how would we experience it? Most
likely we'd be watching it on our phones, And that
way it's kind of a model and spin a Norse
and Weal's world of the worlds. Back then he used
the radio, the most popular technology of the time, to
make people believe the invasion was real. Today that medium
is the screen of our devices, like well intentioned, just
poorly executed, like this is dumber than ched.

Speaker 5 (21:16):
This is a wild misread of what Wells actually did
and accomplished because the medium is wildly different.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Okay, so ice Cube is terrible.

Speaker 5 (21:26):
He is, yeah, but how is he in the movie?

Speaker 1 (21:29):
Willfully miscast like there's a So I want to be
fair and kind to ice Cube, but that doesn't mean
I'm gonna say nice things about his performance, because those
two things are not the same. If you give ice
Cube a gun and say your character is disillusioned by
the federal government and wants to bring down a corrupt president,

(21:51):
then you've got the right guy. He will he will growl,
he will snarl, he will bring swagger. He will you know,
you will bring street knowledge. He will do all of
this thing that ice Cube is known for in his
various roles as a musician, and it'll work just fine.
Being fair to them, being fair to his you know,

(22:12):
decades long acting career. If you want a old, doddering,
nerdy tech guy to sit in a chair and emote
with his face and react to the world happening on
the computer, ice Cube is not the guy. That's a
waste of what he does do well. That is the

(22:33):
opposite of the Paul Heyman effect. You are accentuating the
things he does badly, and you are hiding the things
he does well. Because even at his old I mean,
I can see why ice Cube took this role. He's like,
I'm getting older. I can't I can't do Triple X anymore,
or movies. No, I can't do the movie Triple X

(22:54):
that he was in. I can't do well, said he
used to. Yes, I've never reviewed those. By the way,
it's another like fucking Giant Myss for me and Sean.
But anyway, uh, you know, he can't do the movies
that he was known for back in his youth, such
as it was, So I get that he's trying to

(23:15):
like redefine himself and considering earlier this year we had
G twenty with what was Viola Davis? Like, you know,
I get that a lot of these actors are like desperately,
you know, desperately trying to find a new way to
stay relevant in Hollywood. I almost feel bad for him.
I feel bad for everyone involved in this because again

(23:38):
I'm gonna go with well intentioned. I don't think anyone
goes out to make a bad movie. I don't think anyone,
you know, I think they believe in what they were doing.
They just just comes off terrible. The unintentionally funniest line
of this movie and it's said by ice Cube, and
that is what is so unfortunate, because maybe another actor
could have pulled this stupid line off, but when said
by ice Cube, it's so much worse. When he starts

(24:00):
talking about how they want to eat our data, all right,
and I there's that whole there's a whole thing he
does about like they're here to steal our data, and
he has to like says it's like serious as the
day is long. Serious is a heart attack he has
He has to say into the camera, the aliens were
attracted to Earth because they wanted our data, Like this

(24:25):
is supposed to be a subtle metaphor. And I'm like, oh,
the only thing that would have helped that scene is
if you could see the cute carke he was reading
off of, Like I then would have you know what,
would have laughed at the comedy of it all. Instead,
I just felt bad for the guy.

Speaker 5 (24:43):
Do you want another example of his terrible line reading
that open There are a bit where he's doing his
like presentation after the aliens first land. You can hear
the fact that he's reading off of a off of
a card. When you listen to enough people read something
speak what they're reading as they're reading it, you get

(25:04):
out feel for that that's all he was doing there.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
So I got criticized recently for clearly reading a script
on my TikTok, and I'm like, I make shifts like
six minutes long. I can't memorize all that. But the
other side of it was I was thinking about, like
Walter Cronkite and Bill O'Reilly, they were obviously reading a teleprompter,
but you use inflection, you use cadence, you use you know, timing,

(25:33):
and despite the fact that you're reading it, it still
somewhat feels natural. Obviously, if you have any two brain cells,
you know that these guys are reading these things. But
that's what makes them professional news anchors, their ability to
read things and convey some degree of emotion. This is
not something ice Cub possesses. Like this is go ahead,
Kevin is.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
Not to conflate two rappers from yesteryear, both named after
the solidified state of water. But it reminded me of
the John mulaney bit about Iced Tea on SVU, where
Iced Tea would vary methodically and literally repeat to you

(26:12):
the nature of the crime in a way that he
was somehow always amazed at what had happened, even though
he worked in a sexual crimes unit. So you mean
that he liked to take little girls and take their
articles of clothing. Yes, Iced Tea, that's what a pedophile is.

(26:34):
That's what this felt like to me. Only ic T
makes those reads more effectively. On SVU, presumably because SVU
is created by a team of people that actually care
about the product they're making to some degree as well.
The time is yeah, and I don't agree that this
was well intentioned by anyone. I think this was lazy

(26:57):
and a cash grab during a time when it was
the only option they had for a way to work.
And they're keeping their SAG cards active.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Okay, uh I can't even fight you guys tonight. I think,
all right, I'm out numbered. It's fine. A couple of
other things I'm gonna say, and I'll throw it over
to Robert. I laughed hard at that line, and then
ice Cube trying to sound menacing at the end, like
we'll be watching you. It's a shut up.

Speaker 5 (27:24):
Like watching the watching the milk of magnesia in your cabinet.
Is what you're watching is your waddly way across the
across the room, old man.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
The worst part about ice Cube like reacting to certain
things is that like he it's like he's reacting as
if he's amazed that technology exists at all, Like like
someone showed him Google for the first time and he's like,
oh my god.

Speaker 5 (27:47):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (27:49):
As the director of cybersecurity for the Department of homeland security.
It was amazed by technology.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, not not the right cat thing choice. My big
problem with this movie, besides the fact that none of
it works, is especially the ending. Oh God, that ending is,
And we talked about this was like the West Wing.
We've talked about this with some other movies. I mean,
maybe the Electric State. Your movie is only going to

(28:20):
be as smart as your writers, and when your writers
are fucking rock stupid, but they're trying to write stuff
that it's like the opposite of the Star Trek effect,
where they would bring in actual like scientists and engineers
as consultants, and a lot of those times they were
responsible for writing the gobbledegook that was science speak in the.

Speaker 5 (28:41):
Show, the technobble.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
Technobabble, Yeah, that's the word for it. So here, this
is clearly written by people who have some rudimentary anxiety
about the Patriot Act and surveillance and drones and things
like that, and they don't know how to cope with
their anxiety. But they but they're creative people, so they

(29:04):
threw it into this movie, but they don't really know
how to talk about it in a coherent, competent, adult
mature way. So it just comes off like seventh graders
wrote this, and seventh grader's active in this is.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
I wrote stuff in seventh grade that was better than this.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Of course you did, so if you're Robert, it's written
by a four year old, but the average seven year
old this this feels like there's This feels like the
seventh grade stage play at a junior high and the
and the subject was talk about modern surveillance and the
you know, and the Internet. I laughed. But so I
was watching this with a friend of mine and she's
not a tech person either, but we both laughed our

(29:43):
asses off. At the ZNE where he's able to just
by doing a few things I don't know, using Psuno
dot ai, he's able to unscramble the voice modulator. Oh
my god, like.

Speaker 5 (29:56):
For some reason, having for some reason, despite having tracked
this hacker for months, never ran it through that program
that you have access to.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Right like he just now thought of that. It's a
little too convenient. I will say one nice thing about
this movie, because I have to I have to find
I have to be once again digging to the archives
and be the ship protector. That ship defender ice Cube
plays a like a like a nagging dad really well,

(30:28):
like I wish like that had just been the movie.
You know, it's it's kind of a it's kind of
a comedy about you know, my my old paranoid dad,
you know, whose grandfather was in the Tuskegee Experiment or something.
Doesn't trust the government, but he's in the government now
and he's using all the spy technology like mess with
his kids, kind of a Steve Martin esque, uh, wacky

(30:48):
comedy about boundaries. And it was like nagging his daughter like, well,
you need to eat more protein. And he's nagging his son,
deleting his games and like to do something mad cap
like that kind of take the spirit of Richard Pryor's
moving with the integrity of Steve Martin's Father of the Bride,
and I think you got something here.

Speaker 5 (31:10):
You'd have to completely recast it, though.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
So that's what I think he does well in the movie.
And then the movie has to do the movie stop
and do aliens and shit, and that's where it lost me. Robert.

Speaker 5 (31:23):
They bribe a homeless man with a thousand dollars Amazon
gift card.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Oh you want to talk about the product placement Brought
to you by Amazon dot Com.

Speaker 5 (31:34):
The line caring about what's in someone's Amazon cart is
used more than.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Once, three or four times.

Speaker 5 (31:42):
At least, I'm gonna be succinct to prove I can.
This is bad conceptually, poorly executed, terribly written, and pathetically acted.
This movie exists to boost the self esteem of everyone

(32:05):
out there struggling to create something in the artistic space,
because this piece of crap got made and released. Yours
is not worse than this, I promise you.

Speaker 4 (32:19):
I made it through the movie. I made it start
to finish.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
That's like an endurance test.

Speaker 4 (32:25):
I mean so by comparison when I said that I've
seen worse.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Hang on, hang on? Did you watch this by yourself?
Did you watch this with your son? Did you watch
this with your wife? Did you watch this with a
combination of these people just by myself?

Speaker 5 (32:39):
Oh no, No, he saved them, he spared them. He
did the right thing. Who did you like this? On? Mark?

Speaker 1 (32:48):
One? Are my friends?

Speaker 4 (32:49):
My wife is is more apt to binge a television show.
She's not a big fan of movies. Okay, and this
is not something that my son would have said. Still
for big fan of Inside Out and Inside Out too,
not so much this, But I made it through this Now,
granted it was a short and ninety minutes, and so

(33:10):
if I have to say something good about this, it's
the fact that they did contain it to ninety minutes
instead of turning it into a self indulgent two hour
and forty five minutes pseudo epic on a zoom call.
By contrast, I made the mistake at some point of
trying to watch Megalopolis, oh boy, and I made it

(33:32):
about halfway through. And if you ever have the privilege
of conversing with Jed again, he and I discussed at
length about how for a few months Megalopolis made me
doubt whether I even really liked movies.

Speaker 5 (33:49):
I did.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
There were they were gonna have every starting with last year,
Jesse takes a line out of every one of our
reviews for a full song, kind of encapsulating the year
in review that lines going in.

Speaker 5 (34:02):
Considering that last year's line was from me in twenty
twenty four made me doubt comedy is a concept.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
There were a stretch. There was a stretch of a
few weeks where I generally just didn't want to watch
anything because something we would remind me either of a
cast member or something that I had seen in Megalopolis
or what Megalopolis had aspired to be, and it would
just make me think about Megalopolis again and I just
couldn't do it. It took a while for me to

(34:30):
recover from that. This is throwaway bad. They in an
era where so many action movies, whether it's sci fi, action,
comic book action, action action, gets accused of being disaster porn.
This gives us to date myself the USA up all

(34:51):
night version of disaster porn. It's barely a notch above
stock footage created with AI everything about it. To quote
everyone's favorite John Love its character instinct.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
Sometimes when watch they use the same reaction shot of
ice Cube four or five times in a row. If
you watch close enough, you can see it.

Speaker 4 (35:25):
That's how they were efficient.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Sometimes when we watch movies like this, I will, you know, say, well,
at least the actors gave serviceable performances. They did not.
This is the like. It was almost like they they
did a producers and just went out of their way
to create unlikable characters, bad performances, uh sets that would

(35:51):
rival a last minute thrown together bit on Saturday Night Live.
And my favorite thing is to try to create a
third act action set piece. Is ice Cube running around
in an area that is filled with like red smoke
and a red lens and they're just shaking the camera
because he can't do all those things.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
And then he says, move, bitch, get out the way.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Yeah, he didn't even do his own line. He should
have been like, you know, he should have been like, yo,
I'm going straight out of coffin and then choved the guy,
you know, instead of like, miss why are you doing mysticals?
Bit he said to the two whitest guys he's ever podcasted.

Speaker 5 (36:32):
With, that's not true, and you know it well, it's true,
Alexis I am anything else? Robert, I legitimately can't say
a single positive thing about this movie.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
It's so funny.

Speaker 5 (36:50):
Like again, where's the editorial equivalent of a boom mic
in it? I can't say anything nice.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
When I swear to god, I threw this here and
didn't even know what it was, and then I saw
what it was and I laughed so hard. I was like,
I have to do this now. I don't think I
was prepared for how bad this was. Like I honestly
like had that special brand of Mark Radlich hope that
this would at least give us something to talk about.

(37:20):
And I'm stalling to just drag this out at this point, as.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
A thrice rejected black mirror script directed by the laziest
and most uncreative people in Hollywood, filled with the most
uninterested actors that I've ever seen in my life, still
incapable of delivering even the shoddiest screenplay that I may
have ever seen put together. It still doesn't live up
to any expectation that you would have for that the

(37:48):
one truly joyously shocking moment that I had in this
that brought me any amount of true glee with seeing
the wonderful Jim Messimon on camera for a handful of minutes,
and then I just felt bad that he was attached
to the project.

Speaker 5 (38:04):
I'm glad the check cleared. That's about all I got
for this one. You know, there's a there's a famous
bit of advice that Christopher Lee gave actors. I mean,
it's something that it's it's something that's important because he's
told these young actors it was on the set of
some movie or whatnot. And because it's Christopher Lee and

(38:26):
he's already done like a hundred movies. By this point,
when he gives this, he says to his colleagues, you
will inevitably be part of a bad movie. Every actor is.
What's important is not to be bad in it. No
one here got that advice.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
So I'm gonna end this conversation. Leuslie, At what point
just putting stuff like this hurt Amazon?

Speaker 5 (38:57):
The Amazon is impossible to hurt.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Okay, let me throw it out there for everybody else, speedy.
The idea is to get people to interact with the platform.
Now obviously people interacting with the shopping end of it. Obviously,
you know, it's obvious, biggest end is not an issue
people at this point, Internet shopping is essentially good going

(39:22):
to Amazon, like people like when people think about buying
stuff off the Internet, they just think of Amazon, you know,
to a lesser extent some of the team type places.
But for the most part, if you need something, it
is now ingrained in the culture to buy it off Amazon.
The idea for Amazon Prime is to have you interact
with that element of it, that part of the streaming service.
That's every streaming service, Netflix, Disney plus Max whatever they're

(39:46):
calling it this week, Paramon plus, et cetera.

Speaker 5 (39:49):
They're they're rebranding that to HBO Max again because someone
was stupid and decided to change it in the first place.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
I am aware. My point is, how is it.

Speaker 5 (40:00):
He been tard and feathered and ridden out of Hollywood
on a rail By this point.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
There's obviously some a handful of type TV shows that
Amazon has won awards for that are quite good, that
are very popular, But I can't say that about their movies.
Like the Netflix movie as a cultural thing, I think
people can wrap their head around and go, I'm willing
to take a flyer on a Netflix and chill night

(40:24):
with a Netflix movie because by and large, the average
person not YouTube you know, fucking hyper critics, but the
average person is like, well like most of what they
see on Netflix. I'm starting to think you can't make
that claim with Amazon Prime Movies. This being a great
example of this, and how many more times can they
do this, Gavin before people start to associate don't watch

(40:46):
movies on Amazon, they are all terrible.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
I'll be honest, I don't know that anyone associates movies
with Amazon. I think when we talk about Amazon's created content,
and people are more apt to think of the top
gear continuation, the Grand Tour, They're they're apt to think
of Clarkson's farm, the James May projects that have been watchable. Listen,

(41:16):
just full transparency here. Anytime I watch anything, I've got
my eyepatch on, with the parrot on my arm and
the peg leg I'm not going through any legitimate means.
So if any of these are not actually Amazon shows,
please feel free to correct me. Reacher is watchable as
a mindless, dumb action show, and at least the casting

(41:40):
for the lead in that is far more accurate than
Tom Cruise was as Reacher, so they do watchable things.
In terms of television shows. The marvelous Miss Misel was
I think very well received. Off the top.

Speaker 5 (41:56):
Of my pardon, a pretty decent hit for you.

Speaker 4 (42:01):
As comic book shows, Invincible, I've enjoyed.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
The Blind Is, you know, obviously very popular.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
But off the top of my head, other than this
steaming pile that we subjected ourselves to, I don't know
that I could name a movie from Amazon for you.
Television shows, certainly, I don't. I don't know that I
could give you a movie off the top of my head.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
I'll give you quite a few, because we've reviewed a
lot of them, unfortunately for Robert.

Speaker 5 (42:33):
But hit me remind me refresh my memory with all
the things from Amazon Prime exclusively that we've reviewed. Mark
It'll be a good time.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Jackpot. That was the John Cena aka I remember watch
stop staring at me Blankly's Psycho.

Speaker 5 (42:53):
I want you to give me the list I did.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
I did watch Jackpot as a as terrible action comedies go.
It was a terrible action comedy.

Speaker 5 (43:04):
Simoulu is a blight on the entertainment industry.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
Okay, list of Amazon Prime original films? All right, we
will go all the way to what's to this year?
So I will be eventually reviewing Head of State. But
we haven't done that one yet.

Speaker 5 (43:23):
You really shouldn't do that to yourself, but you're going
to anyway, so just be fore warned. It's John Cena
and risel but gets saved by a very frumpy Israeli woman.

Speaker 1 (43:35):
Wonderful. Okay, So you haven't done all of these, but
I've done all of these. So there was G twenty,
which Jesse and I did with Viola.

Speaker 5 (43:42):
Davis, and you should not have.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Holland, which Mick and I did with what Nicole Kidman. Uh,
you're cordially invited, which Mick mac and I did. Mick
mac pettiwick, give a dog a bone. Let's see. Now

(44:07):
we're into two thousand and four. Uh boy.

Speaker 5 (44:11):
The last thing I remember that was like a movie
that I saw them release was The Aeronauts, which we
didn't review, but I remember it existing.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, we have Okay, So we did Jackpot, which I said.
We did not do the second mice By movie. We
did Space Cadet. Remember Space Cadet. We liked Space Cadet.

Speaker 5 (44:28):
We actually did kind of like that. That was ye.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
Boy, Roadhouse he did. No, you didn't You and I
didn't do Rhodes that I did with Andrew and Sean.

Speaker 5 (44:42):
You didn't want me on that, believe it.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
We did not do Ricky Stinicky.

Speaker 5 (44:50):
But John Cena pisses himself more than once.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Oh fabulous. I've reviewed Salt Burn with it's Neil and Chris.

Speaker 5 (45:02):
How did that go for you?

Speaker 1 (45:04):
It's a lot of penis we did not do. Speaking
of penises, we did not do Candy. Can Lean.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Allow me to make my point about this if you would, Mark, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Sure, I'll just interrupt you and I find something else
to screen out.

Speaker 5 (45:21):
You asked how long until this hurts them? Yeah, allow
me to reiterate, you cannot hurt Amazon. I don't know
that the federal government could hurt Amazon at this point.
They're a worldwide company.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
Oh no, they're going to be in They're going to
be in charge of the world sooner than.

Speaker 5 (45:39):
Later, and in certain places it'll be better for it.
I don't know where that is. Might will vary depending
on your thought process. I suppose, Look, this is a
this is an organization that spent so much money on
the rings of power that it should be illegal or

(45:59):
something that bad.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
What a was?

Speaker 5 (46:02):
Hang on, still going on, by the way, because it
started to be speculated that when they signed to get
those rights, they guaranteed five seasons. And I'll let you
think about the catastrophic failure that that represents. Around the
same time, they did the Wheel of Time for three

(46:23):
seasons before canceling it. Here's how unwieldy Amazon is, but
how big and impregnable it is.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
We did in twenty two, still going by the way.

Speaker 5 (46:33):
Yeah, that's the thing we did. They had the rights
to the Wheel of Time series. This is one of
the more popular epic fantasy It's like the best American
epic fantasy novel series that exists giant fan base. Amazon
owns the rights to adapt it. They start adapting it.
They're so unwieldy that they couldn't come up with special

(46:56):
additions or any sort of merchandising linking between their live action,
expensive television series and any number of books or anything
else that they could have released related to that. They
don't care. This company is so big it makes more
in advertising than it does in sales, and consider how
much they sell. Nobody cares that they make crap. They

(47:20):
care that the check clears.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Either, Like what differences? Why you even put these movies
out of Nobody watches them because they're it's just so.

Speaker 5 (47:26):
Terrible, because it gives them a degree of prestige, and
because there's a subset of people there who are like, Yeah,
let's make crap, and this gives us an opportunity to
launder money.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Kick Gavin would like to speak on this.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
As the old thing goes, the world is fake, wrestling
is real, and so I will pull us into the
wayback machine about thirty years ago, when WCW in theory
exist listed as an independent company underneath the umbrella of

(48:05):
Turner networks, But in reality, it existed to catch the
debt and the collateral damage from every other company. Now
that's not to say the WCW was well ran or
well managed financially in terms of advertising, in terms of
how they operated. It was a disaster every step of
the way. Because they kept hiring executives from Pizza Hut

(48:27):
to run a wrestling company. It didn't work, But WCW
was still a part of the Turner corporation and it
existed to absorb the bad debt from everywhere else, And
nobody really cared whether WCW was good or not as
long as they could shovel crap into it. And it

(48:49):
kind of feels like that's what Amazon Prime movies are.
It's a place for them to offload bad debt and
to point and say, yeah, this lost three billion dollars
this year, but the rest of them and he was
pure profit. And so to Robert's point, bad movies are
never going to hurt Amazon. It doesn't matter how much
they pay for the rights, it doesn't matter how much

(49:10):
they overpay on salary, and it doesn't matter how few
people watch them. It doesn't matter. They can never lose
enough money on them, and it will never be enough
of a pr hit to keep a fifty three year
old housewife from bulk ordering paper towels and every other
household essential to show up on their doorstep on a
revolving basis, because it's far too convenient to be bothered

(49:33):
by War of the World and say, no, that's a
bridge too far for me. I'm not gonna support Amazon anymore.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
It's it's funny you say that because we last year
when we talked about Red One, and we were like,
this has lost a metric fuck ton of money.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
It did Amazon, and it was the only because.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Everyone gets on her case about like, you know, Superman
didn't make the money, didn't make enough money, Fantastic Four
didn't make enough money. They may or may not be
technically profitable, but they didn't make the money that it
was worth greenlighting these movies for with the amount of
money they were green lift for. There was one of
those cases where Robert and I don't make that claim

(50:16):
with Red One, because it didn't matter whether or not
it made money was irrelevant. It was an Amazon movie,
it was in theaters. Because the Rock is an insane person.

Speaker 5 (50:26):
You have to understand how much money Amazon makes in
a given six month period. What they spent on Red
one is a functional rounding error when you make that
much money, right.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
Okay, So why World the World? One? Because I like
torturing Robert two because we had a spot open in
three and now it gave us a chance to document
the continued oligarchy that is Amazon dot Com.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
Yeah, it's gonna be more in charge than anything else,
sooner rather than later.

Speaker 1 (50:59):
Get used to it. Kevin't got anything else for we
wanted the next thing.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
In a fair and just world, this would be a
career killer for everyone involved. But other than ice Cube
and Eva Longoria, I'm not sure that any of them
had any substantial careers left anyway, So maybe this will
put both of them out of our agony.

Speaker 5 (51:17):
And even Eva Longoria is a stretch there. The last
thing she did was direct a movie that Biden slept
through with his pudding brain.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
Hey. She was also a side character in the last
season of Only Murders in the Building.

Speaker 5 (51:33):
Uh huh.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
And you know, maybe this is the end of Asian Coulson.
Maybe it is his involvement in the Marvel universe as well.
I'm not gonna hold my breath on that, but I'm
also not really excited about the Marvel universe anymore either,
So no one?

Speaker 1 (51:48):
All all right?

Speaker 4 (51:50):
Well, am I glad that I watched this movie? Not
particularly but happy to hop on here and discuss with you.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah, this is always a fun time. I have smiled.
This is the happiest I've been on Dan you Hollywood
in years. I think smiling ear to hear my face hurts,
all right, because I'm weird. Well, folks, here comes the
Amazon all right, Well, obviously there is no budget for this.

(52:20):
This thing was made for two shillings and a haypenny,
so who cares. But we will talk about the domestic weekend.
So Robert will be reviewing Weapons tomorrow. And what are
you crying about?

Speaker 5 (52:39):
How far Fantastic four falling below both Weapons and Freaky
Your Friday?

Speaker 1 (52:44):
And it's third week?

Speaker 5 (52:45):
Yes, also a little bit. That's got to be an
underperformance from Freaky or Friday to fall to a low
budget horror, high concept, higher concept horror movie.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Well it probably it probably by a function of how
much was spent versus people going to see it. Freaky
or Friday will probably be more profitable than snow White,
which at this point it's all I hate to anyone
that Disney cares.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
About, and I will say weapons. You know, we won't
get into a review or anything. I'll let you save
that for the proper review show. There's been more buzz
around Weapons than virtually any horror movie that I can
think of in quite a while, where whether I'm at work,

(53:33):
whether I'm in the line at target, or I'm talking
to people online and just scrolling social media, everybody seems
like they're talking about it in some form or fashion.
I saw it at the latest showing in a fairly
rural area. Start time was listed as ten thirty, so
after previews and commercials, we were getting started at about five
after eleven, and the theater was half full on a

(54:00):
on a Sunday night. So it definitely had some substantial buzz.
Whether it lived up to your expectations or not, I'll
leave that up to whoever. But I do know it has,
at least in my little pocket of the world, a
lot of buzz about it.

Speaker 5 (54:19):
It's been getting a lot of reaction from people coming
out of it too. This and I think Centers were
the ones this year that have like generated a degree
of actual discussion. After the fact, because I mean last
year or the year before, there was Long Legs, which
had a lot of pre movie hype, and there's the

(54:40):
actual movie, which I enjoyed but was not what was
hyped to be.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
Last year, the big one was Late Light with the Devil.

Speaker 5 (54:49):
Well, that one didn't get hyped as much. Like if
we're talking about our enjoyment, Yes, I enjoyed.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
A lot of hype about maybe, but maybe that was
after the movie came out, like in retrospect.

Speaker 5 (55:00):
Yeah, Like, no, that's after the fact, because you talk
with a bunch of people like me who don't mind
talking about that. But like Long Legs was the movie
that was being touted as like the best horror movies
since Silence of the Lambs. Uh, stuff like that. And
it's not that I enjoyed it for the most part.
I enjoyed most of us good Perkin stuff. But yeah,

(55:21):
so I'm ye. We'll be reviewing, as mentioned, we'll be
reviewing Weapons tomorrow. And how did it do, Mark.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Well, Weapons did forty three million. Domestic was the number
one movie of the weekend for your Friday debut at
number two with twenty eight million. Fantastic Four fell to
number three, and it's third week. The Bad Guys fell
two to four, Naked Gun three to five, Superman four
to six, Jurassic World five to seven, F one seven
to eight Together, which they reviewed last week, six to nine.

(55:49):
Sketch Is this the movie? Was this a sneaker movie?
Is that? Well?

Speaker 4 (55:57):
Okay, this sketch isn't that from Angel Studios?

Speaker 5 (56:02):
It is.

Speaker 4 (56:04):
I think previews.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (56:06):
The basic premise is there's a magic pond that repairs
things or brings them to life if they're humanoid, and
a slightly disaffected girl's sketch book of Monsters falls into it. Okay.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
That debut at number ten. I know you did last
summer fell from eight to eleven, Smirched nine to twelve,
How to Train Your Dragon ten to thirteen, My Mother's
Wedding debut to fourteen. It's Never Over Jeff Buckley debuted
to fifteen. Streamed Harvest from Roadside Attractions debuted at number sixteen.
I think that's been delayed a few years, like almost total.

(56:40):
I feel like that's been on like the movie list
now for a while and kept getting pulled. So that
was the weekend. That was not a lot of surprises there.
Worldwide Nijah is still number two, leelanch Ditch still Starry
number one, leelandst still number two, Minecraft still number three,
Jurassic World sitting at eight hundred million, Company at number four.

(57:00):
How to drain the Dragon comfortably at six hundred million,
mission impossible? Just under six hundred million. Superman, Uh say
it again for the people in the chief seats wildly.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
Underperformed, underperformed, and all likely it is going to lose
them money.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Yeah, I'm really.

Speaker 5 (57:19):
You give Mark grief about this?

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Okay? Are we doing this now? You are? I'm going
to wait to because we were gonna do this live
on the air, Like bring up that TikTok and just
go through some of those comments and annoyed the fucking
tiss out of me.

Speaker 5 (57:34):
Okay, we can save it for that. I'll yell about
it after that's done.

Speaker 4 (57:37):
My understanding on Superman to this point is that it
kind of exceeded domestic expectations but failed miserably everywhere else.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
Yeah, that's about not a huge fan of Superman or
the United States at this time.

Speaker 5 (57:49):
That's about the size of it. And look, when you
spend two fifty producing it, another one hundred and fifty
hundred and eighty marketing it, you have to double the
three eighty or so that you spent.

Speaker 4 (58:01):
Yeah, you need seven fifty to eight hundred.

Speaker 5 (58:04):
Congratulations, it's not making it that means you lose money.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
This is not complicated, right, but it's like people people
don't seem to understand what the definition words. I mean.
We talk about this every week. I feel like I
don't want to keep going into it. But if I
say I like the movie, but it didn't make what
it was supposed to, and then someone says, but it
made this, I'm like, Okay, it doesn't stop challenging what
I just said with stuff that doesn't matter. It doesn't

(58:28):
matter if you liked it, and it doesn't matter that
it made a lot of a lot more money than
some other movies did. It didn't make enough. I don't
know why this is complicated, but it seems to people
seem to really struggle with it to the point where like,
I'm getting sick of talking about it. Speaking of which,
Fantastic four is at four thirty five. That's another one

(58:49):
that underperformed. Hey, it beat Captain America in Thunderbolts, though woray.

Speaker 5 (58:54):
It's probably not gonna beat f one.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
Though probably not the sleeper of the summer.

Speaker 5 (59:02):
Make an original movie aimed at men and have it
not suck. Who'd the thought?

Speaker 1 (59:08):
All right?

Speaker 5 (59:09):
So gat rocket Science or something?

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Last week or so, I did a TikTok on Superman
uh and Fantastic four. And I've done a couple of
these now on Superman and Fantastic Four. The Fantastic Four
stuff didn't seem to bother people, but like I somehow
waded into a fucking minefield with the with Superman.

Speaker 5 (59:32):
I freely accept that a lot of the snyderbro subculture
of fandom kind of sucks. The gun cultists are no better.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
Yeah, to say the least. So this is the TikTok
that I did. I don't need to play for you.
It's it's this was essentially this came from a discussion
from a previous dame you Hollywood in the money section
and chat tipt you know, took it out and made
a script out of it, and I and I even
went back through it again. I'm like, pull today's numbers,
let's go there, I old variety articles. This is like again,

(01:00:02):
this is what I do with my with JAGBD. It's
it's my research assistant. Essentially, I'm like, pull variety articles,
pull Hollywood Reporter, pulled this reporting, pulled that reporting, and
then it kind of goes through and we go through
each one of these things like I'm like, okay, what
do we got here? Like sum it all up for me?
And it does that, and I go, okay, well there's
my script boom. Now now reduce this to a fourth

(01:00:24):
grade reading level and make it a minute long wonderful.
That's my TikTok, I speak to the mansons. So I
did that here, and I felt good about myself because
I was like, I've done the due diligence I've done.
I've done journalism like journalism isn't done today. I have
cited research, I have fact based everything.

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
And yet, Kevin, your journalistic integrity puts the Salt Lake
Tribune to shame. And I say that because they're a
rag that operates not too far from me, and I'm
tempted to burn them down every now and then, aren't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
You in enough trouble? And then I am challenged. I
am challenged, Gavin, despite my runerlistic integrity. I am challenged.
Can you imagine, Jack, Gavin? Can you imagine that I
imagine I know, right, all right, so I have twenty
eight comments here. Superman didn't flop. This is from Chuckster
from four days ago. Everything about this pains me. Uh,

(01:01:17):
Superman didn't flop, It didn't break records. But no way
is it a flop. It is a flop Robert two
seconds explain.

Speaker 5 (01:01:24):
Why because it needs to make at least seven hundred
million to really be profitable. It's not gonna make that.
It's therefore a money loser. Therefore, flop is not an
inaccurate descriptor. It's not a bomb, but it's flopping some
complicated people.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
Okay, Uh, the the damon talk A billion is not
the standard. It never is the standard. Yes it is,
you dumbass.

Speaker 5 (01:01:51):
And if I may quote myself on this one, if
you spend five hundred plus million dollars producing and marketing it,
it is Otherwise you don't make money. This was the
problem that Justice League.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
All right, Um, let's skip down here. Uh, Superman will
probably finish this theatrical running around six hundred million. And
while that might be a little shy of the mark
you want to see for blockbusters Temples, it is both
profitable and encouraging no one.

Speaker 5 (01:02:20):
Isn't it is it isn't do we have to do
the math again, people, this isn't hard.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
It's great. We are now failing basic edition.

Speaker 5 (01:02:31):
Production marketing, double it. That's what you need at the
box office.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
The total costs would actually be two point five multiple
So Superman, although not blowing out the doors on the
box office, is not a flop. Plus add in the
merchandising and it's doing fun. What fucking merchandising you Toaster Roven.
We don't live in that world anymore. I don't know
if you fucking noticed christ people want kids aren't buying

(01:03:02):
toys because they're on screens. They don't play with like
at past the age of three, kids don't play with
toys anymore. Okay, they do electronics number one number two
and even if like you're like like, but I have
ten kids on my block and they were all playing
with toys. Not enough to make up the fucking difference.
Please stop doing drugs number one number two. You're talking
about like Blu ray and DVD, which nobody buys anymore

(01:03:25):
unless you're weird, because again, everyone streams everything like, I
don't understand how this got past people.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
So not to rehash anything that I'm sure you all
have probably already discussed. In regards to Superman, I think
that it can be a financial disappointment and an overall
success for what they want to achieve long term simultaneously.
I think, I think similar to what we're seeing with

(01:03:57):
the Fantastic Four right now, Superman is carrying the baggage
of a lot of failed projects for DC. There is
no inherent trust in the DC brand at any point
going forward, and it's going to have to be rebuilt. Personally,
I mostly enjoyed Superman in stark contrast to Man of Steel,

(01:04:21):
which Mark knows how I felt about Man of Steel
and everything snyder Ish related to it. It wasn't for me,
and so in stark contrast to Man of Steel, I
thought this was a good Superman movie, and I thought
it was a good place to restart. As much as
I liked it, as much overall optimism as it may

(01:04:42):
give for future DC projects, and as much of a
lovely foundation as it may have established going forward, it's
still not a financial success by any stretch.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
No, but that's all the arguments. We did a craft review.
Ben was on and he was treated kindly Robert read
a book. It was great. That's podcast I've ever done.
We went through all of that. But what I'm trying
to illustrate, rather painfully is that there's a difference between
appreciating the craft of the movie, having a subjective enjoyment
of it, and analyzing its financial achievement. People get stuck

(01:05:20):
on that last one and conflate it with the first
one a lot. Yeah, And the fact that we go
through this every single week and we don't get any
headway with people is really frustrating. Like it does make
me consider why I bother to try to talk to
people about this stuff. But I like talking to my friends,
and I like having a venue for some of my
weird thoughts. So I will continue to do podcasting and tiktoking.

(01:05:42):
But boy, sometimes does it do I feel a little
bit like a hamster on a wheel kind of.

Speaker 4 (01:05:47):
I don't know if I've ever told you this or not, Mark,
but the world is fake and wrestling is real.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
I believe I've heard that somewhere before, but I can't
quite play squere.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
It's never about the quality of the programming, the quality
of the long term booking, the quality of the matches,
it's not about the production quality. It's about the size
of the audience. The size of the audience determines what's
good and what's not, because, as you know, people are dumb,
and so people become emotionally attached to these projects, and

(01:06:19):
they develop their social relationships with everything because of the
nature of our society being connected only through screens rather
than building actual, true interpersonal relationships. And so if the
product or the production that they like is not financially viable,
they don't even realize that they feel threatened by that,
but they feel threatened by that, and they feel the

(01:06:42):
need to argue vehemently that what they like is not
a failure in any way, even though by every objective
measure it financially is. And it's okay if it is.

Speaker 1 (01:06:51):
It is that mentality that is contributing to the ruining
of school and learning. But that's the whole other subject. Boy,
is it from bear with me? Which is the best
TikTok name ever? Superman is profitable. No, it isn't fantastic
for us. Not that is correct. Superman didn't flop, But hey,
you probably know more than the CEO of WBD. Get them, Robert, what.

Speaker 5 (01:07:15):
We aren't going to do is lie to you for
the sake of our stock prices.

Speaker 4 (01:07:22):
We're also not hundreds of millions of dollars and then
desperately clinging to our careers.

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
Oh, this guy Johnny Antonio goes further. It didn't they
already working on They already working on a sequel. Yo,
and nobody nobody used two words. Nos. I refuse to
be lectured by people who fail grammar anyway. No body

(01:07:47):
who fucking wrote this refin UMM knows for sure movie
budgets and marketing costs. All numbers are the letter are estimates,
and studios have their own deals with theaters. No two words.
Nobody knows how tickets sales are split. Get them, we
get them, get them raw.

Speaker 5 (01:08:06):
Bert, Okay, yes we do. I wonder how we know
because this all has to be disclosed. It is legally
incumbent upon them to release this stuff. They don't always
release it in a timely manner. But if everyone who
does the reporting on this all comes to the same number,
it's usually about that, probably a little underreported, because that's
how these things go. But this is the rough equivalent

(01:08:30):
of going you know, everybody, I don't believe there's a
war between between Russia and Ukraine, because really, Putin says
there isn't. And who am I to disbelieve what Vladimir
Putin says? He runs an entire country. Guys. Oh, yes,

(01:08:51):
there is some variability with ticket, with the ticket split
between movies and theaters. That's true, little variability. It's usually
a little more front loaded towards the towards the production company,
a little more backloaded towards the theater. That's why we
average it to fifty percent. They're not. I guarantee you
this Superman was not getting sixty percent. I guarantee you

(01:09:13):
they weren't getting sixty of every ticket.

Speaker 1 (01:09:15):
So here's another one. I didn't realize because I'm a diickbag.
I didn't realize. I'm gonna shake my chair when I
do this. I didn't realize, smear that butter on the toast,
that making four hundred million worldwide in three weeks was
a flop. That's not mentioning here we go again, all
the home video releases, rentals and other deal sequels and

(01:09:36):
merchandise sales the film will make in the upcoming years.

Speaker 5 (01:09:39):
Okay, it's a flop if you make four hundred million
in three weeks, and none of that actually gets you
to profitability. Moreron, this isn't complicated. Yes, four hundred million
dollars is more money than you, me, or most of
us are gonna ever see in our combined lifetimes. If
I spent and three hundred and eighty million dollars on

(01:10:03):
this movie, and of the four hundred million it made,
I get two, I've still lost money. How is this complicated?

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (01:10:12):
Second, home video rentals are not a thing. It's a
dead market. Nobody's going to Blockbuster. Most people don't even
buy these things for the holidays anymore because nobody makes
DVDs or blu rays. That used to be a really
important part of the movie industry was the second wave
of money you got from video. That's gone. And it's

(01:10:33):
a bad thing that it's gone. But I can't bring
it back by wishing.

Speaker 1 (01:10:39):
Okay. So, so I asked a question in my headline here
Superman flops, Fantastic four falters, our superhero movies finally out
of our lives, and my New York City one two
two seven zero said no, because we're having a conversation.
He and I now no, because Captain America didn't suck
as it did, and I think it may made more

(01:11:00):
money than both these trash movies. And and Ronnie in
with the Zave and the Steel Chair, Captain America, Brave
neew World. May four in fifteen million total two hundred
million domestically against the budget of one hundred and eighty million.
That's a flop, Thank you, Ronnie.

Speaker 5 (01:11:14):
He's correct, first of all. That also that budget wildly underreported.

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
Consider they had to like reshoot the movie and re
edit it and then the last two here from one
of the many cultists, ZAVV Fantastic four sequel has been confirmed,
So your theory is off the mark. Oh thank you?

Speaker 5 (01:11:30):
No, oh good. At what point does us saying the
movie didn't make money have anything to do with Disney
throwing money at a sequel. No one's disputing that they're
gonna still soldier on with another one of these things.
If Mark Hat said they're gonna stop making them, well no,

(01:11:52):
then you'd have an argument because clearly they're intending to
make more.

Speaker 1 (01:11:55):
That's the thing is. I don't think they're done with
with James Gunn Superman Universe either, you know, I just
said I don't think They're gonna throw lots of money
at this, and I think the people are gonna be
tightly watched, you know, more closely watching than they were before.
My comment about Superman and James Gunn was I don't
think they're they're going to be as confident in James
Gunn as they might have been. I think he'll be

(01:12:17):
watched closely and the purse strings will be held tightly.
I didn't say they weren't gonna make any more of these, though.
It wouldn't surprise me either, because WB is run by
three raccoons and a coat. Lastly, your math is off.
You need to take into consideration merchandising digital release.

Speaker 4 (01:12:36):
I do have a question about that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
Wait and streaming. Fantastic Four just kickstarted a franchise that
is going to get more exposure in Doomsday just like
a year and a half from now, in a sequel
that has been confirmed. We know dick Bag and that
wasn't I fucking hate these people. Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (01:12:54):
Not so much about digital releases, because that's still always often.

Speaker 5 (01:12:58):
Are But.

Speaker 4 (01:13:03):
I know that this was Superman pronounce foul. This was
sort of an experiment and a test run with the
Three Day prior to official theatrical release. You could see
it early under WB Amazon's some sort of.

Speaker 1 (01:13:21):
Synergy the Amazon Prime.

Speaker 4 (01:13:23):
Yes, at an elevated ticket price. Are there numbers on
what that box office total looks like? Or did it
just get lumped in.

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
With imagine we did well or we'dn't heard about it
by now? I mean, Variety and the Hollywood Reporter are
kind of in the pocket of the studio. So if
they had a press relief they could have read, they
would have I haven't heard anything.

Speaker 5 (01:13:47):
I imagine it kind of just got lumped in, would
be my hunch. And if it had been a big deal,
they would have said, contributing to this big opening weekend,
was this big number for this new thing we're trying,
And they kind of just quietly went, yeah, we did
a thing. See how We'll see how it goes.

Speaker 4 (01:14:06):
Also, and maybe I'm maybe I'm foolishly optimistic here, but
I'm going to be foolishly optimistic.

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
For as optimistic as you want. Somebody needs to be
able to know.

Speaker 4 (01:14:17):
I do think we're closer to the death of the
Marvel thing than people mostly realize.

Speaker 1 (01:14:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think We've been saying that a while,
but here's your turn to say it.

Speaker 4 (01:14:28):
I think it's been bad for a while. I think
there have been a couple of glaring exceptions that have
been well made, well acted, engaging either television shows or movies,
but they have been increasingly farther and farther between, to

(01:14:48):
the point that you see that they've lost the trust
of their audience. And I know that Jonathan Majors did
them no favors with his off camera ANTIQ that cause
them to divert course very rapidly. But amongst all of
the giddiness at the announcement, the Robert Downey Junior thing

(01:15:11):
just absolutely reeks of desperation. Oh yeah, And I think
that Mark, I know I sent you the Twitter link.
I don't know if Rob has seen it or not.
And you take it with a grain of salt given
the sources, the guy that got booted from X Men
ninety seven, But there are cracks showing in the foundation
of the creative process in the back rooms of MCU,

(01:15:36):
and whether it's overall fatigue, whether it's the fact that
they have shifted their audience away from the traditionally eighteen
to thirty five male demographic that dominates comic book and
fantasy and sci fi, and they've overextended trying to rope
in these new demographics and audiences. Or it's because they've
just ran out of ideas and refused to use the

(01:15:57):
material that's readily available to adapt whatever it is. I
think they've backed themselves into a corner. And I don't
see another ten years for Marvel.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
No, you're echoing the same thing that we've said. I
said after Secret Wars were done, I think it's a
good five years off, you know. You look at you know,
with the exception of like a couple of shows that
had already been in the can that they kind of
had to release. Look how long it's taken to get
anything new from Star Wars. Yeah, somebody runs in the
fucking room in the comments, or you know, into my

(01:16:27):
frame here with a steel chair and hits me and
goes But some stupid ass cartoon. That's not what I mean,
you autistic people. I am talking about movies, major motion
picture in theater movies. We have not seen one of
those since what Return of the Grade Ray Skywalker, whatever
the fuck the movie was called.

Speaker 5 (01:16:46):
I can't remember if Solo came out after it did not?
Right then? Yeah, it's Rise of Skywalker and the list
said about it the better.

Speaker 1 (01:16:54):
Right, So and that was twenty nineteen. There has not
been an end to an I can recall.

Speaker 5 (01:17:01):
I have been reliably informed Mark that Ryan Johnson had
a Star Wars trilogy and they're actively working on another
ray movie. Yes, I feel free to do that all
you want. I agree with you. I am making fun
of everything that comes out of that company.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
My point is they've taken up upwards of now five
years off of anything theatrical, and everyone's like, but but Ahska,
but the Skeleton Crew, but the Acolyte. Okay, if it's
not in theaters, they don't count. And a lot of
this stuff was again shot and you know, produce and

(01:17:35):
shot over the last couple of years. There was no
way it wasn't gonna come out.

Speaker 5 (01:17:40):
But it should have canned.

Speaker 1 (01:17:42):
The Acolyte sure to Star Wars, but Star Wars has
been a dead brand for a while, and when it
finally goes back in theaters, at least they can rest
on the idea of like well as far as major
theatrical releases, this had some time off. Watch Marvel do
the same. Well, there'll be dribbles of things coming out
on Disney plus maybe who knows, I don't know what.
I don't know what other Iron Hearts they've gotten, the

(01:18:03):
can that they're that they're you know, just hanging on too.
But I will tell you after what Secret Wars comes
out in twenty twenty seven.

Speaker 5 (01:18:16):
Yeah, allegedly at the moment.

Speaker 1 (01:18:18):
Yeah, on paper, currently Doomsday is December of twenty twenty six,
and then Secret Wars is twenty twenty seven. You won't
see another Marvel movie until sometime in the twenty thirties.
If they're smart, it'll it'll it'll be. If they're smart,
not until at least twenty thirty five. Give this five
to ten years off. It really needs that much time

(01:18:39):
to heal. This is this is a body that went
through the windshield and then and then got dragged by
a truck and peede on by and peed on by
a dog and is now in the full body cast.
It needs time.

Speaker 5 (01:18:56):
Yeah, And look, we've got the Spider Man movie coming
out that I'm sure we'll do fine numbers because I
would have loved you in the.

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
Room when they're working on that, and like, because it's
supposed take a big place on battle World and they
get the memo like, yeah, it's now coming up before
Dooms that you have to rewrite this, and everyone just
throws it's a guy ying I quit, don't come back.

Speaker 5 (01:19:22):
I mean there's someone on. This has been confirmed at
this point, like they started shooting Doomsday. They've cast everyone
who is ever in the MC.

Speaker 1 (01:19:32):
They don't have a finished script yet.

Speaker 5 (01:19:34):
Yeah, they finally have a allegedly a finished script. They
started shooting this thing with someone walking around with a notebook.
They hired everyone except Scarlett Johansson because she sued them rightly,
mind you. And they're giving every major actor on this,
like at least ten million dollars the budget on casting
a loan for this is going to bury that movie.

Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
But when but when it for a five hundred million
I'm gonna get told on TikTok that you know that
it's not a flop because we have failed math for
the past thirty years.

Speaker 5 (01:20:07):
Because they spent Look, they spent three hundred and fifty million,
but it was for two movies. Mark they shot them
back to back. Sorry, all right, let's go ahead, diluted sycophans.

Speaker 1 (01:20:21):
Sheer fucking hubris. All right, let's go to let's go
to our last segment here, I have a surprise for everybody.

Speaker 4 (01:20:34):
Are you ready?

Speaker 1 (01:20:38):
No, I said.

Speaker 3 (01:20:46):
No, God, no, God, please, no, no no no.

Speaker 1 (01:20:56):
So right before the show started, this has like is
three percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It's up from zero, so
that's that's growth. And then it's like a twenty two
percent on the audience meter.

Speaker 4 (01:21:11):
This this movie is to Roberts point, the existence of
this means that there is something good in the world.
This this started as zero on Rotten Tomatoes. Weapons started
at one hundred percent. Weapons has dropped to like ninety seven,
ninety six percent. This has crept up to three percent.

(01:21:36):
These movies are the polar opposites.

Speaker 1 (01:21:38):
Yeah, very much, pretty sure that.

Speaker 5 (01:21:39):
I would almost guarantee you that the review squad from
beet and Own, the ones who gave this piece of
crap a positive review of the one saying war weapons
is no good.

Speaker 1 (01:21:50):
So it would be it would be too easy to
read all like the rotten reviews, and I'm sure they're funny.
I wanted to do something different. I was inspired a
couple of months ago by the four volumes of comments
that were turned into songs because God bless artificial intelligence
for the snow White Trailer. I didn't have that kind
of time. I kind of had this moment of like,

(01:22:11):
wouldn't it be funny? And then I had no time
to do this. So this is my so that I had.
So this is a slap dash attempt at making fun
of the comments in this movie through the use of
AI generated music. That's what I'm doing. What I did
was I had chat I I sent chat GPT to
Rotten Tomatoes and I said, grab all like the negative.

(01:22:33):
But these are the the audience reviews, audio interviews, and
it got some of them. It didn't get them all,
it got it got like I got like a consensus
summary of basically what I thought of it. And I'm like, great,
write a rap song. So here it is the first
of my slap dash labor. This is a musical representation

(01:22:53):
of the comments of the fan comments on Rotten Tomatoes
for War of the World.

Speaker 4 (01:23:07):
Yo, longest emazade I'd ever seen, nice Cube at his desk,
stuck on.

Speaker 5 (01:23:11):
The screen, fast forward man just to find a plot
still same old shot.

Speaker 4 (01:23:15):
Nah to say hot.

Speaker 5 (01:23:17):
I can't recommend it not to any one.

Speaker 1 (01:23:19):
Have a star Jaz that's jennever sign and the cruise
out there but they hear this crime. Let me break
the drill, same next time.

Speaker 5 (01:23:27):
The same war.

Speaker 4 (01:23:28):
The world is the last like a bunch.

Speaker 1 (01:23:30):
Of soft dress. Don't brick care.

Speaker 5 (01:23:33):
Out, no vision, no grill.

Speaker 1 (01:23:35):
Just all right, twenty mores of that. Know what you
have made?

Speaker 5 (01:23:52):
You have made worse things than that, Gavin, I didn't get.

Speaker 4 (01:23:57):
What you said, so that was better than the movie.

Speaker 5 (01:24:00):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:24:00):
I tried hard.

Speaker 5 (01:24:01):
Absolutely, Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:24:08):
Brevity is a word that doesn't get used enough these days.
All right, I don't really do we really need to
do the rotten tomatoes thing? Or can we just end
the show?

Speaker 5 (01:24:16):
I want to see who gave this a positive review?
I have to know.

Speaker 1 (01:24:20):
I will do that very quickly. I think that's worth doing.
But because I can't image, it's gonna be a lot of.

Speaker 5 (01:24:24):
These, and I imagine you'll try to marry me off
to at least one of them.

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
You know me far too well. So there are thirty
two critical reviews.

Speaker 5 (01:24:37):
Are you going to share your screen your mother?

Speaker 1 (01:24:40):
Here we go, Here we go, Hey, leave.

Speaker 5 (01:24:42):
My mom out of this.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
She's nice, okay? Jordan Hoffman of Entertainment Weekly h Cultist.
It's certainly stupid, but it's also a great deal. Of fun.
No itice.

Speaker 5 (01:24:54):
Okay, somebody had to cash the check from Amazon. You
know they saw the zero and broke out the check book,
and somebody say something, the only one.

Speaker 1 (01:25:05):
This is it one dude, This is the three percent.
This is the guy. I will now refer to him
always as three percent. Three percent from Entertainment Weekly.

Speaker 5 (01:25:17):
You're the one percent of you like the one dude
who gave Toy Story three a negative review too, Like
what the heck is wrong with you?

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
Almost guarantee? All right, that's a review of War of
the Worlds. This is a lot of fun. This is
our review of the money of Fantastic four and Superman.
That was the better podcast. Gavin, always a pleasure. I
miss hanging out with you. We have to get are
you Are you just counting down the days till January
when we start up on Sports Night?

Speaker 4 (01:25:42):
Sure? I am yeahs four?

Speaker 5 (01:25:46):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:25:47):
No, don't make me do Ted Lasto season four.

Speaker 5 (01:25:49):
But you like Mark, No one makes you do anything.
You like Ted Lasso, I.

Speaker 1 (01:25:54):
Like I like Ted Lassar with Ted Lasso. This is
Ted Lasser without Ted Lasso.

Speaker 4 (01:25:58):
That's gonna be good.

Speaker 1 (01:26:01):
I'm gonna do it because Gavin asked so very precious
little of me that I will do things for Gavin,
but I'm not going to enjoy it. How about that? Believe,
I will believe you're not You're right, You're right, Gavin.
I don't know where my head was.

Speaker 5 (01:26:16):
Conceive, believe, achieve. Mark that's true, said to Luke Rockold
right before he was knocked out.

Speaker 4 (01:26:24):
In uh in lieu of having anything to plug, because
I have nothing to plug these days. I will make
you this promise based on the words of one Nicholas Khan.
When not if, when Vince McMahon returns to WWE, all right,

(01:26:46):
we will break glass in case of emergency, we will
hit the bat signal. We will regather the casual heroes
for an emergency wrestle cast.

Speaker 1 (01:26:57):
I love it, I will I will make a souno
dot a I saw him to welcome us back.

Speaker 4 (01:27:01):
When?

Speaker 5 (01:27:02):
When? Not if?

Speaker 4 (01:27:04):
Because it will happen.

Speaker 5 (01:27:05):
Oh absolutely, unless he dies before as a massive stroke
before next year.

Speaker 4 (01:27:15):
Far too evil to die.

Speaker 1 (01:27:16):
By the way, can I tell you how many bad
takes I saw on the brock Lesner thing when he
showed up after.

Speaker 5 (01:27:23):
Fly?

Speaker 1 (01:27:24):
Yeah, it's but here's the thing, not not to extend
the show anywhere that passed.

Speaker 5 (01:27:28):
But I am.

Speaker 1 (01:27:31):
Unless there is proof that brock Lesner did anything forcibly
to that girl or she was and he knew she
was doing things forcibly to him or for him. Brock
didn't do anything wrong. And the only problem, the only
one that should have a problem with anything that he did,
is his wife. Everybody else needs to shut the fuck

(01:27:52):
up now, everybody else involved in that satanic cult sure
set him all to prison. Hang Hang Vince McMahon up
by his toenail that I'm fine with, But like everything
about what happened with Brock and the young lady, to
my understanding, was to his understanding, consensual. So I don't

(01:28:13):
understand the big Why are we letting brock lesnar.

Speaker 4 (01:28:16):
Back what he did? What he didn't know? I will
presume to have any inkling.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
Of nothing has been reported that he knew anything. That's
the fact.

Speaker 4 (01:28:24):
I just I know that the words out of Nick
CON's mouth were unless there's a criminal conviction, I don't
have a problem.

Speaker 1 (01:28:33):
And my standard is a little lower than that.

Speaker 4 (01:28:35):
But yes, it's it's a civil case, so there's not
going to be a criminal conviction. So when no chance
fills the airwaves and an octagenarian Power.

Speaker 1 (01:28:48):
Walks out and Ice screamed, get out here you we
uh we will.

Speaker 4 (01:28:55):
We will break the glass for the years waiting reunion.

Speaker 1 (01:29:02):
Be fantastic, be the best show I've ever done anyway,
So yes, I agree with you, Gavin, And since you
don't have any other plugs, I will do plugs. So
where am I?

Speaker 4 (01:29:12):
So?

Speaker 1 (01:29:13):
Yesterday myself and Jesse did some source material. We did
The Crow, the Many Deathtive label Sar, and The Butcher
of Paris. Tomorrow, Robert, Alexis and Jason are reviewing Weapons. Wednesday,
Alexis and Jesse, I believe, are reviewing Stranger Things season one.
I will be back from Virginia and seeing Toadwet'sprocket on Thursday,
and then we will be concluding our look at the

(01:29:34):
West Wing season seven. So far, so good, Robert, it
absolutely does suck. It has not been good.

Speaker 5 (01:29:41):
I told you it was season five that started, and
you went, I don't know what you were talking about,
and you know it's not good. He said, no, no,
it's fine, it's fine. And then you got to season
six and you went, Robert, why are you so? How
are you clairvoyant? Like when I lived through it, it's
not claire Voyants. And then you got to seven and
you were like, why do I do this to myself?

(01:30:01):
As watched Jimmy Smith's and Alan all to be the
worst versions of a democrat in the Republican but in
the opposite suits.

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
Yeah, this has gone beyond wish fulfillment straight up into
high fantasy. Anyway, speaking of high fantasy, this Sunday, we'll
be back on the middlehimmer of jukebox. We'll be looking
at the new Baby Metal album. A week from tonight,
a different streaming movie, somewhat better. I hope. We will
be looking at The Night Always Comes On. I might quit,

(01:30:30):
I might join you. I don't.

Speaker 5 (01:30:34):
I think it's going to be a bad movie, but
I really hope it's better than this.

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
And then a week from Thursday, myself, a week from Wednesday,
rather myself and a Lexus Hana will be looking at
Resident Alien season four.

Speaker 5 (01:30:45):
The last there was five to the last one.

Speaker 1 (01:30:49):
No, I don't know if they're doing another one after this,
but this is the most current season.

Speaker 5 (01:30:53):
Yeah, this is the last one. They had their series
finale on Friday.

Speaker 1 (01:30:57):
And then myself and Mick Wannamaker will be reviewing Street
prom Queen, The Old Guard two and Fountain of Youth
on a triple feature of new streaming movies, because we
just can't get enough of that Golden Chris Bits got
the Crunch with a bunch.

Speaker 5 (01:31:09):
Yeah, Robert, I can't believe they actually went through with
an Old Guard too. Yeah, we reviewed that one.

Speaker 1 (01:31:21):
That was me and that was me and Alexis, and
we did that as a comic the.

Speaker 5 (01:31:24):
Hell it was. I watched it. I know, I talked
about it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:28):
Okay, I can tell you I did a comic strip
with Alexis on it. I assure you.

Speaker 4 (01:31:34):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:31:34):
Oh, you made me watch that so I could be
on deck.

Speaker 1 (01:31:38):
Maybe that's that sounds more right.

Speaker 5 (01:31:41):
Yeah, because I watched it because I had, I was like,
I might have to review this. Yeah, it's something like
that anyway. Mark's already mentioned it tomorrow on damn you,
Hollywood Weapons. That'll be a good one, uh fears. In
some of the stuff I do, I cover mixed martial
arts and professional wrestling over at for one one Media
dot com ww SmackDown on Fridays, UFC events on Saturdays.

(01:32:03):
This last week was UFC ESPN seventy two from the
Warehouse the highlight of which was a power bomb knockout.
I kid you not, there was someone channeled there in
a rampage Jackson and power bombed their way out of
a triangle.

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
Choke, so nice.

Speaker 5 (01:32:19):
And Anthony Hernandez beat Roman Delydzay so badly he submitted
him with the bouncer rear naked choke with no hooks
while dragging you across the ground.

Speaker 1 (01:32:28):
Nice.

Speaker 5 (01:32:30):
Yeah, the rest of it didn't matter that much, So
you can find my full report in the MMA's on
a four to one one mania on the four to
one to one Ground and Pound MMA podcast, which I host.
I also previewed UFC three nineteen that's coming our way
this Saturday, headlined by Drikustuplas and Kamzat Chimayev, and I
am rather excited for that fight actually, And because there

(01:32:52):
is some unpaid intern over at UFCCHQ who hates me,
he waits until I make a request for information. Specifically
in this case, I was talking about the WWE deal
with ESPN that was announced over the last week because
it's relevant and how the UFC's new broadcast partner had

(01:33:13):
not been announced, and you know, we are kind of
running out of time for that, because there it's up
at the end of the year. Lo and behold this morning,
hot off the presses, the UFC announces that in twenty
twenty six they will be exclusively with Paramount slash CBS.
They will be doing away with pay per view. Everything
will be on CBS or Paramount Plus, basically to the

(01:33:36):
tune of thirteen numbered events a year and thirty fight nights,
so about the same schedule they have now. And this
deal is worth seven point seven billion dollars over the
next seven years. I could have talked a lot about that.
Instead I have to wait a week to then put

(01:33:59):
that at the end of my discussion. If you have
three nineteen.

Speaker 1 (01:34:03):
Mark and Robert always with our hands on the throat
of culture.

Speaker 5 (01:34:07):
It's because I do the show Sunday evening like that.
That's my only excuse. It's been a Sunday thing since
I picked it up when you dropped.

Speaker 1 (01:34:14):
It telling you man join the dark. So I get
on TikTok. Then you can talk about anything you want,
anytime you want.

Speaker 5 (01:34:20):
There's no way I gain traction on TikTok. I'm me.

Speaker 1 (01:34:24):
Oh, I don't know. I've been on TikTok a while now,
I have seen some shit.

Speaker 5 (01:34:30):
Yeah, but you have you seen someone like me? Mark? Yes? Yeah?
How do they do?

Speaker 1 (01:34:35):
Fine?

Speaker 5 (01:34:36):
No, not by Cavin talk sense to this band, not
by social media standards.

Speaker 1 (01:34:44):
Never know till you try my TikTok that I did
two days ago. It went up Saturday afternoon about zombie
houses and delisting as over now twenty thousand views.

Speaker 5 (01:34:55):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:34:56):
Hey, I've now the second time I've gone viral.

Speaker 5 (01:35:00):
A good time I've gone around for me.

Speaker 1 (01:35:03):
I had one that's that's currently in the eighties eighty thousand.
This is the second highest one to that one.

Speaker 5 (01:35:09):
Yeah. My issue with trying to do stuff on TikTok
is if you're not reliably getting six to seven figures
of views, you don't matter.

Speaker 1 (01:35:16):
Well I'm aware of that, but occasionally I get a
spike so.

Speaker 5 (01:35:19):
And look, God bless you. You're on the grind. Nothing
but respect seriously, But that's like, if you want to
know why I don't like my thought process and content
and like, isn't actually built for short, easy, easily digestible consumption.

Speaker 1 (01:35:34):
That's where the AI takes over. Hey, I have this,
I have this book that I've written in my head.
That's three hundred pages long, terrific. I will reduce it
to a fourth grade reading level of make it a
minute long. Da TikTok. Yeah, it's magic, Kevin magic.

Speaker 5 (01:35:50):
Yeah. Sure, So again you can find that where if
you listen to podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:35:54):
Kevin always looks like amused and afraid of me. It's
really great.

Speaker 5 (01:35:59):
It's it's a much better acting range than ice Cube
gave fair So you can find me over there again.
Coverage over at four one one Mania and oh. I
agreed to cover a couple of Sunday cards this month
as well, because my life is sad.

Speaker 1 (01:36:16):
Are you covering Forbidden Door?

Speaker 5 (01:36:17):
I am covering Forbidden Door.

Speaker 1 (01:36:19):
I cleared my schedule to watch for Bidden Door.

Speaker 5 (01:36:22):
You're sadder than I am. I at least paid for it.

Speaker 1 (01:36:25):
I will. I will watch Forbidden Door. I will be
TikTok live and I will and I'll interact with you
on four on one Minia, just just cause.

Speaker 5 (01:36:31):
I'm not going to interact with my chat with my
comment section over four one.

Speaker 1 (01:36:36):
I'm trying to I'm trying to form synergy here.

Speaker 5 (01:36:39):
I appreciate the attempt. You are welcome to read some
of those comments over there and do that.

Speaker 1 (01:36:44):
I will read them out loud.

Speaker 5 (01:36:45):
I'm sure I will. God bless.

Speaker 4 (01:36:47):
It has been a very long time since I did
anything with four one one, and I cannot imagine the
comment section has improved it.

Speaker 5 (01:36:56):
I will also be covering the clash in Paris on
the thirty first.

Speaker 1 (01:37:00):
I'm gonna watch that.

Speaker 5 (01:37:02):
You shouldn't.

Speaker 4 (01:37:03):
But what are your plans?

Speaker 1 (01:37:06):
First to tell me what to do?

Speaker 4 (01:37:08):
What are your plans for September twentieth and the dual
pay per view? Now?

Speaker 1 (01:37:14):
Oh, good question.

Speaker 5 (01:37:15):
I am currently not scheduled for anything related to that.
I'm sure that will change at sounding like someone will
ask me.

Speaker 1 (01:37:21):
I'm going to watch all out. That's what I'm scheduled
to do.

Speaker 5 (01:37:24):
What's the other one?

Speaker 4 (01:37:25):
There? The wwe will probably be bad Blood, and early
rumors are that's where they're going to place Sena versus Rock.

Speaker 1 (01:37:34):
Oh damn it? Oh now, now, which one of my
kids do I love?

Speaker 5 (01:37:41):
We both know the answer of it. So again, I
have not been asked to cover one of those. I
might be by the time it's all said and done.
We'll have to wait and see. Yeah, I said about
the meanest thing I could say on coverage on Friday.

(01:38:02):
Actually Cassolo Sokoa talked and I said, I'd rather listen
to a John Moxley death writer's promo than this again
what you said, And I can't think of a meaner
thing to say without I can wrap it up. So yeah,
you can find me over there covering those things if
any of that interests you.

Speaker 4 (01:38:22):
If not.

Speaker 5 (01:38:23):
Next week, Mark already mentioned we'll be reviewing a because
Mark continues to tell me that Vanessa Kirby can act,
and I continue to point out the evidence in all
the movies you've seen of her.

Speaker 1 (01:38:38):
Gavin talk said to the man, Vanessa Kirby is a
capable actress.

Speaker 4 (01:38:43):
Yeah, you're on your own here, Davin, Why do you.

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
Even come here? He has his own podcast you can
agree with him on.

Speaker 5 (01:38:57):
So we'll be reviewing a Vanessa Kirby vehicle next week,
and I hope you'll all come back. If you've been here,
if you've enjoyed, if you'd listened, thank you. Please interact
with the product a little bit. That helps the algorithm,
especially if you're on YouTube, where they no longer count
things that don't have interactive views because they're trying to
solve the problem of botwatching inelegantly.

Speaker 1 (01:39:18):
Well, it's trying to solve problems inelegantly is the phrase
the pace here on the Rattigen Broadcasting Network. So for
talk sense to him, Gavin, and he won't.

Speaker 5 (01:39:26):
Do it for you, just broke the truth.

Speaker 1 (01:39:29):
Mark for every plug is an editorial, Robert Winfrey. I
have to pack for Virginia and Todd the wet Sprocket
because it's all I want, well, be safe and behave

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