September 5, 2025 • 44 mins
Dominque and Brian discuss are we nearing the end of marriage? Also another segment of Babymama Chronicles
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are listening to the Raw Sex Podcast, Love Relationships, Dating,
Intimacy and more. Now here's your host, Dominique Marx.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, here we go again.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Courses me your creator, Dominique, and you already know who's
with me, Who's always will be my super reduce A B.
Cops is Lessen, the creator of the Vault Classic music
review nothing but the Classics hashtag open up the Vault
Hip Hop, R and B reggae movie soundtracks.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Go check it out. Support is free, free go say,
just like.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Share, subscribe, comment, whatever whatever you like to do. We'll
just do the support. That's all we really ask for
what you have. Dropping soon, B.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
I'm working on a couple of different things of trying
to get out by the end of the summer. Gez
Doug motivation one oh one that dropped this summer. I
got a couple of other things coming up, reviewing. I
want to do something. I'm looking at putting out something
about the source of awards In ninety five, the thirtieth
anniversary of that joint just came out, and we know
(01:11):
how pivotal that night was to the culture because of
all the things that happened during that night. And what's
fascinating to me is reading and reading and also listening
to the different perspectives of people who were there that night,
like the stars we grew up listening to and watching
and idolyzing, from the method Mans to the Redman, to
the Goodie Mobs to Questlove, to Smith and Wesson's to Onyx.
(01:36):
You know what I'm saying, The West Coast folks out there,
you know what I'm saying that were there, folks with
death Row. And it's crazy how in those thirty years,
how much is transpired, like just even the three years
after that, what happened in the game, you know, and
how pivotal it was to hip hop and moving forward.
So well, hopefully I can get that out by the
end of the summer. Man, y'all pray for me. Your
(01:57):
boy needs not just time and energy, he also needs
a little motivation as well. So you know, y'all y'all
sticking there with me.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I can't wait to hear that. Yeah, that's that's very interesting,
right there. I forgot it's been that long.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Yeah, since the day So.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
August August thirty, nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Man, so classic classic clips from the Classic Clips, Oh.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, lots of classic clips during that.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, sir, Hey, yeah, tonight's topic we're going to be
Now he's been married for about three four years now.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Before years before years and September third man.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Right around the corner.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Is it happy wife, happy life or do you have
a different aspect on perspective on that right then, now
that you've been married almost four years.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
It's you know, we've I feel like we've talked about
this before.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Right, but we wasn't married when we talked about.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
It, right, So I mean, but but you know what
I what I said then is basically what I say now,
And it's you know, a lot of people put a
lot of energy into this whole thing about how, oh
the household should be balanced. You know, it shouldn't just
be happy wife, happy life, because it should be happy spouse,
happy house and you know, the man deserves to have
(03:18):
some happiness too, and everything else like that. And I've
really examined that over the last few years, and you know,
before that even but you know, my perspective really hasn't changed.
It's remained the same. And we've talked about this as well,
about the dynamics of being in a household with a
man with a husband and a wife, man and a woman,
and the different things about the level of tolerance that
(03:40):
you're willing to that you have and the wings of
things you're also willing to accept. Right now, you'll remember
if I said this, right, if a man is unhappy
in the house, the house can still be relatively peaceful
as a matter of fact, in most logical situations. If
a man is not necessarily three old or happy, house
(04:01):
can be still functional and everything else. But if a
woman is not happy in the household, shit gonna be chaos.
It's gonna be chaos. Everything is thrown the hell off, right,
And I'm gonna tell you why. A lot of this
is about the I would say, the general characteristics of
men and women in regards to how we handle different things.
(04:23):
For the most part, what do we prioritize men? We
prioritize peace above everything else. And you know what, we'll
sacrifice a lot of things in the manner of peace.
Will sacrifice having more money, will sacrifice, happiness, will sacrifice
watching sports, maybe a few nights out with the homeboys
(04:44):
where we want to go out, but we don't necessarily
think that it's a good idea for us to go out,
we'll sacrifice a lot because peace is paramount in a
man's life, especially at our age over forty, because the
last thing you want is some dramas bullshit. Nobody wants
that at our age to be dealing with drama and bullshit,
let alone from the sit inside its own house. So
(05:08):
the only thing a lot of us want at times
is peace. And if we have peace, everything else to
kind of work itself out. That's what kind of like
what we're used to doing. And I think that now
if we choose this life of matrimony and being married
and having a family, will choose peace over anything else, right,
because every we don't want all that noise is no
(05:33):
not at all. But for a woman, happiness is paramount, right,
even if it isn't necessarily completely peaceful. But there's a
lot of things that condec and disrupt a woman's happiness.
The list is way too long for me to go
through the list of things, but let's just say things
(05:53):
ain't going to right right. Let's say, like, you know,
work kind of sucks, you know what I'm saying, Things
crazy when you get home, and and you know, uh,
at times, and certain things aren't done or whatever. For
the most part, it's like, look, man, all I wanna
do is just grab my beer, you know, sit down,
have this and before we start getting ready for dinner
and getting these kids ready everything like that. And I
(06:14):
just won't be able to shower and get my bed
and go to sleep and enjoy a good, nice relax
to sleep. And that's cool, right, But if things when
it comes to your your wife, it j things just
can't be be just okay, it can't be average. Things
have to be handled, and I I give it to
(06:35):
the way that way. How women's brains are, they're wired,
how they're wired, right, it's a reason why they're more
organized than things with us, right, and the reason why
they're better at different functions of things with us because
of how they are, you know, maternally functionally basically sort
of being And that's just kind of being point guard
in the house, cause that's generally what I like to
liken it to. Yeah, but if somebody on the plate
(06:57):
doesn't do what they supposed to do, the point God
goes to hell off because that's not the place we're
not running this play, right, What are you doing over
there when you're supposed to be doing this, no matter
if the basket goes in right and y'all score two points, No,
because that wasn't the play, And that's sort of what
I like in it too. Things have to be in place,
(07:19):
and things have to be the way they think how
they're going to operate. If they don't, then that's a disruption.
That disruption causes angst. And with angst, women in angst
and men in aks kind of a little bit differently.
We kind of find a way to sometimes deal with it,
unless you're a drama king and then you make a
big deal about everything, and we know a lot of
dudes out there like that. But for women, know it
(07:40):
could be the slightest little thing that comes out of
place and that could manifest in a number of different things,
right or they going to hell off? And not only that,
but they're gonna let you more than likely either hear
about it or you'll feel it. And the energy that
she gives off when she's around you, and then when
that happens, the energy for everything else is all like
throwing the hell off. So in my perspective of my
(08:05):
four years, I still kind of believe that that you
could be unhappy about a lot of things as a husband,
but the one thing you do you want more than
anything else's peace right, and it could be a lot
of shit going wrong. I always tell people, oh, you
always want to know what it is you're willing to
put up with and what you're not willing to put
(08:26):
up with. Be married and you'll find out exactly what
it is you're willing to put up with, what you're
willing not to put up with, and understand that not
putting up with something and deciding to deal with it
how much of a headachet actually cost is you and
then see how to fuck quickly you recoil back and
be like, you know what, just forget it. That's it.
I'm good, right, So that's really in a nutshell what
(08:47):
I'll say, what it is, because my big thing is
that as long as she's happy and okay and things
are the harmony is kind of in the house, and
she's alright with that, I'm good. Because there's been plenty
of times I ain't been you know, things been kind
of a ain't no trouble, and my marriage is fine,
but every once in a while things just be like
you just kind of sit there and be like m
(09:09):
But then after a while you just kind of be like,
you know what shit is good? Right now? This is this?
That is that, Leave that be what it is, and
then you know, we go on to the next day
and that's it, right, Because what I will say is
this the big difference is that we're used to shouldering
a lot of stuff and not necessarily expressing how we
feel about it. Because again, I take this back to
(09:33):
a shirt that one of my fret brothers wore. It's like,
nobody cares work harder, right, yeah, what are you bitching about?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Right?
Speaker 4 (09:40):
That's to think, it's like, what the hell are you
bitching about?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Now?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
If you got us you know, legitimate claim and legitimate
gripe about something that's actually legitimate, But then what amounts
for a man? What's legitimate gripe?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right?
Speaker 4 (09:52):
I see this shit all day on the internet too.
Man complain about stuff, and all it is is counteracted
by women about well you try this, and it's always
about something that women generally have to do, and all
of a sudden it's like, well that's microscopic compared to
what we do. So what are you complaining about?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Right?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
And in a lot of cases, that's true. They do
have to deal with a lot of shit that I
think men really would would fucking lose our minds about
if we had to deal or deal with that. But
in the meanwhile, he used to understand the amount of
shit that a man carries, and how much he actually learned.
It's just like, you know what, I got to compartmentalize
this shit, move on and keep going to the next thing,
because that's what this depends on. That's what I break
it down to. Man, it's your tolerance for stuff with girls.
(10:31):
When you know that you want peace above everything else.
That's it. No drama, nobs, you just want.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Peace with the compartmentalizing. You think that's sometimes not healthy though.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Right, No, not, it isn't. It definitely isn't. And that's
where outlets come into.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Right.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
We talked about the whole conversation a few weeks ago,
about a month ago or so even longer than that,
about being you being overwhelmed. You know, do you get
overwhelmed at home in a relationship, in life in general?
That's where outlets come into. What is your out and
I have a few outlets, and so for me that
sort of lessons the burden on me, especially when I'm
around my friends or my frat brothers and they're like, yo,
(11:08):
I understand that. I know that one, I'm not alone
because I'm they going through the same shit too, just
on different levels, different different versions of the same story,
right you talking and like, damn dog, so you going
through some ship like that too, or she fucked around
and brought that ship up on you two, Okay, damn cool?
All right, Well I'm not the only one out here
suffering and ship. You know, that's what it be like.
(11:31):
And so when you do it like.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yeah, I thought somebody was gonna pick this up and
fix this, and yeah for my husband to fix it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Yeah, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Even saying.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
So she said it the second time.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Let me go ahead and go ahead and do it.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
But then it's just not even it's stuff like that
I don't even bring up, right, or things that I
won't even necessarily mention. I think I got like attacks,
like I don't know, like three weeks ago, and a
bunch of my alone brothers text me like, YO, were
about to go to this whatever, some joint whatever, some
divine Greek joint was happening, and they was like, YO,
were about to go hang out whoever's throwing it. And
(12:13):
I was like, I could tell her I'm about to
go to this thing and go out, but it's one,
it's the same day. Two, it's this whatever day in
the week. Three, we both got to work tomorrow. I said,
you know, I don't think this is worth not even
just a discussion or because nine times out of ten
it's going to be like not even that. Ten times
(12:34):
out of ten it's going to be like, all right, cool,
But that I cool comes with some you know, every
married man that I noticed listening to this right now,
I know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. That
I cool, got some some daggers and some bullets and
shit behind whatever facade it is that she has because
she mad because you're doing pulling some shit like this.
So at this point I was just like, you know, yes,
(12:56):
it's all yes, it's if you ever want to ever
think what your wife is thinking, don't ever pay attention
to her eyes.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Bruh.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
She'll tell you everything right there. And so I just
text him back and was like, now you know what,
I'm gonna sit this one out, man. That's how I
got too and shit going on at home and that's
it now. I did that because I'm trying to anticipate
what the reaction is going to be, considering what it
is that I'm attempting, what I'm gonna say, Yeah, I'm
about to I'm about to roll out, right. And then
(13:23):
what makes it even worse is the fact that if
we didn't have any kids, Okay, that might not be
too big of a deal. When you got a two
year old at home, Yeah, because all that stuff that
means that if I'm gone, I'm leaving at like seven thirty,
then that means that I ain't gonna be there for
bad time or bad time. And then you gotta take
a shower, and you gotta make sure that you can
get this to make sure you can watch the monitor
(13:44):
water back. It's a lot of things involved in that, right.
So sometimes, like I said, it's just peace, that's it. Right,
That's an example of it, and not that that's a
bad thing. And not to say that I don't like
staying at home, because I love being at home my
family and my little boy, especially now with the age
that he's at right now. But that's just an example
of what I'm talking about. As far as choosing peace.
I try to anticipate the problem in regards to something
(14:06):
that I was that I wanted to do, and instead
of causing that potential problem, I avoided it completely because
I thought about what that after.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Man after man, Yeah, these three four hours of me
going out, yeah, and come home having two weeks and
in peace.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Yeah, is it worth it? Exactly right? So I pick
and choose my spots when I do go out, and
I hang out with the brus and it's like, you know,
she knows, Oh, he ain't been out in like a month.
You know it's time for him to go out and
chill because she knows I need that shit sometimes, you
know what I'm saying. So, but it's trying to anticipate
stuff like that. It's like the hmm, she asleep. Let
me go downstairs and make sure this food put away,
(14:43):
the dishes is done, and everything else is square away.
And I alway to help me pack little man's lunch
so that by the time we all get down here
tomorrow morning get ready to either for work, all we
gotta do is just drop shit in the bag and
then get in the car and get rolling. Little stuff
like that, right, And there are a lot of men
out there that look at situations like that that won't
do not none of that, and we'll don't understand why
(15:03):
their girls always on their case. So in women's defense,
I will understand because some men are clueless, like some
men in that situation will literally leave the food on
the on the on the up on this toe top,
won't put the shit away. We'll leave everything and the
next morning you wake up, that shit all gonna be
right there, you know, or half asset and put like
just throw all the ship, the pot and all that
(15:25):
ship inside of the inside of the refrigerator and don't
even clean up or wipe nothing down or nothing like that,
and maybe wondering why she on your case? Dog, I
would too look at this ship. I understand men need happiness.
I get that, But you know you don't you want peas, bro,
that's you don't want no bullshit. And yeah, so I
(15:46):
remember somebody I was talking to them about that same
PROD thing and they're like, man, you gotta put your
foot down. Man, you can't be let I said, listen,
I get it. There's a way to put your foot down.
You have to do it tactically, tactively, right. You can't
just run around like you got the biggest ball in
the world and you boss hole and this ship like that,
because that shit don't necessarily work. It may have worked
for our grandfathers helor might even work for our fathers generation.
(16:08):
That shit don't really fly nowadays unless you just sold
bread Winner and you got all the money and she
can't really say nothing because you you literally bringing home
all the dough, baking the goddamn breads and cut hering
and cutting and buttering it at home as well.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And you're only gonna go through that in one relationship
exactly right.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Once you leave that relationship right there, she ain't going
through that no more.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
She gonna be like, I got some money and blah
blah blah, bah man, I'm.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Gonna take you. I'm gonna pay this. I'm gonna pay this.
So she don't have to hear.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
So you'll have to be like, oh, yeah, this is
my I'm gonna do it this way, sit down, Oh no,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
So I tell people, yeah, you can put your foot down,
but there's a way to do it, you know. And
what you have to do is you have to frame
it in a way that they can understand. This is
the reason why I'm taking this stance on this right
and hear how this plays out in regards to us,
this household and our family, and you're successful. He might
be fifty percent, then that's being generous. But it might
(17:05):
be fifty percent. She still might not even have that shit,
you know what I'm saying. But you know what, it
might It might actually work. I'm just saying, I don't
know many households, marriages, relationships where if the woman's in
a good space where shit is kind of all fucked
(17:26):
up at home, right, the relationship goes bad. I don't
I don't know many. I mean, it happens right because
you know, women are happening all the time, and all
of a sudden, out of nowhere, you know, he want
a divorce, and then marriage shit is over with, right,
and it's like shit bubbles up at the top all
the one goddamned time, Which, to your point, is that
healthy to sort of knock to carpermentalize and not have
(17:49):
to get your shit out there in the air. It is,
You're right, it does. But for the most part, if
they happy and shit is good, stuff gonna be good
at home too, you know, I mean, they if shit
is good for the most part, they'll handle their business
at home. They not going not handle their business at home.
Eight times out of ten. Now there is the fact
of the matter that they could be happy at home
(18:10):
and they still won't be doing their part, you know
what I'm saying. And in that case, then you got
yourself with my fucking problem, and some conversations need to
be had. But if she happy, though, for the most part,
shit gonna go down at home. I mean, she gonna
handle her business. That stuffs gonna be right, the things
that she's picking up, her slack on duties and stuff
she do, stuff gonna get done. She'll be pleasant around
the household. If you're lucky, you might be able to
(18:31):
get some ass every once in a while, you know,
like your shit might are actually often. You know, all
that stuff will happen. She'll have a joy about some
certain things. She won't have stress or anything else. But
let the shit be around like you having the time
of her life and she fucking struggling the shit out there,
doug Two times out of ten, Shit still stays together
when shit is like that, You know what I'm talking about.
(18:53):
If you out there living a goddamn life and shit
seemed great to you. But your wife is fighting for
her goddamn life every day and you're not doing jack
shit about it. What you think that look like?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Man?
Speaker 4 (19:04):
What does the household look like? We all know, more
often than not, we all know what it looks like.
So this talk about the balance and everything is great. Man,
But if you ask men, what do you choose? Do
you choose happiness or do you choose peace? A lot
of men will choose to be happy. But the men
who are team players and the ones who want to
(19:25):
have a long lasting marriage, for the most part, they'll
choose peace over everything else. That's not saying that the
niggas who want peace that they still don't go out
and cheat because they do.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
The like.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
With everybody, know, they say ship sometimes the side keeping
the marriage going. I was like I said, I said,
I kept a lot of relationships going to being somebody side.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Yeah, I think I told you about the situation friend
of mine where him and his wife basically it got
to the point they marri they've been married for years
where they're basically for the most part, they kind of
admitted they were kind of incompatibly sexually, like you know,
one had more higher libido than the other one. And
you know, the wife didn't have us high. The men's
libido was still through the goddamn roof, even though however
(20:15):
old he was. And I think she kind of, I
guess at some point in time was just kind of like, yo, look,
I understand you want this, this and that, Like, I
don't know if I can give that to you. But shit,
if if that's what you want, okay, you can go
out there and get it. But just these are the
ground rules. No more babies, don't bring no diseases in
(20:36):
the house. None of them come around to anything that
we have, whether it's us in the family, me and
you or nothing like that. They have to be out
of sight, out of mind. And oh, your time is
limited to x amount of whatever days of the week.
And if it's gonna be like Wednesday, you're gonna go
over fuck it, that's fine. You know the next week
it is Thursday, cool, then that's it. But you this
(20:58):
is your priority. You still take care of this family.
We still together, we still go out and do things.
But as far as that aspect of our marriage, yeah,
go ahead, do what you gotta do, but don't do
any of these things. That's the ground rules, and as
long as you follow those ground rules will be okay,
that's it, and they still married. They still married, So
it works. I mean in certain situations something like that
(21:18):
can work. The side junt can keep things going that way.
You ain't all pissed off at home because you know
your wife don't want to give you none and you
tied at home beating your deck. You know, you out
there getting your shit met, but you still ant lay
your business at home with your wife and kids and stuff. Man.
Sometimes like yeah, the side jont can't keep the marriage good.
(21:40):
And I know it's a lot of wealthy men with
stuff that's out there like that, the one that said
Kevin Samuel said about you know how you men got
more than one woman that they got somebody to satisfied,
different needs and stuff that they have. I know, it's
a lot out there like that. Hell, it was some
regular marriages out there like that too. So things just
got to kind of work out, man, and to find
(22:00):
up the happy medium and figuring out, like I said,
what is your tolerance to what it is you're willing
to deal with and what you're not ready to deal with?
Like damn do I want to go in here start
a fight about some ship today, Like, no, I don't
do I want to hear her mouth? Do I want
to hear her mouth about this ship today?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
No?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
I don't. Damn do I want to search do dirty
looks and some heavy sign and some teas and stuff like? No,
I don't want to deal with none of that ship,
none of it.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
So what do you tell because you know the younger generation,
they they shine away from marriage. Yeah, like I had
a lot of young and young women that's yeah, with marriage.
What you think has changed in that aspect of they not?
Because my young boy told me, he's like, bro, I
ain't get married now, I said, I say you say
that now?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I said, Well when you get.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Old, I said, I said, you a couple of years
when you start like you know what, Yeah, you stop
running a little bit, you run into some chicken like
you know what. She matched all these qualities that I like, Yeah,
I probably get right here.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I said.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Now, she may say she don't want marriage, I said,
but more time than that, they a't.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Gonna want marriage. What you want to do that? Yeah? Man,
right now? He said, But did I be hearing.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
A lot of a lot of younger people now not
into the confines of marriage.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Yeah, a lot of younger people in these younger generations
now will running away from the confines of a lot
of shit. I mean, you gotta think they're not about
nine to five jobs. They're not about the yo yo,
(23:39):
They're not about full time in the office. The COVID
kind of played the responsibility in that because some of
them that's the only word world that some of them
have known. They're not about the whole business attire, going
to work and ship like that, no certain tie or
being professionally dressed. They're not about having a set schedule
to we have to do and do some certain type
of things. They're not even really about going to judicial
(24:00):
methods of schooling in college like that. You know, they
are eschewing a lot of the things that were considered
to be traditional on the norms what we did and
are saying, nah, like screw all that. I ain't with that.
So it wasn't surprised they against going to church every Sunday.
You know, their our generation kind of started it. It's
kind of like the millennials and elder millennials and heading
(24:21):
into later in the millennial generation. But now in the
gen Z and gen Helfa, they really running away from
the church now considering all the things that have sort
of happened over these last few decades. So it doesn't
surprise me that they're like yo own marriage, because why
the failure rate for marriage is alarming. It's it's literally
a toss up fifty to fifty. And because we're on
(24:43):
social media these days, and because there's so much talk
about people who have been divorced or been in relationships
to talking about some well, I'm not doing this ever again.
I've been married, I'm not getting married again. I'm not
having to deal with or stuff they've had to deal
with with their ex wife or their ex husband, or
their baby mother baby father. And so when you do
all of that and hear all that, it's like, that's
(25:05):
not ringing endorsement for me want to be married? Why
would I want to do that? So if they don't
want to do nine to five jobs, they not with
traditional learning then going to college, they not with business attire,
they not with keeping this set schedule, then why the
fuck would they want to be married? They about doing them.
But as every generation has it, as you're young, so
it is but when you get older though, And this
(25:27):
is what I always tell people, because I kind of
thought that I was going to be that person, and
I was going to kind of be that, you know,
the single friend and a group of people who were
married and I just wasn't going to have any kids
and I wasn't gonna get married. I thought that way
for a while. But the one thing I do have
to say is marriage is important for a lot of
different reasons. It is a business decision, but it's an
emotional one as well. You should marry somebody who you're
(25:50):
in love with. You should marry somebody who likes you,
and you should marry somebody who fits you and also
compliments you as well. But the bigger, th, biggest thing
that I've understanding now that I'm married instead, you don't
know how much you depend on your spouse for stuff
until you're married, until you have to go through things
and understand that they're the person that's gonna be there
(26:10):
for you, right if they're the person that's gonna be Like,
I'm about to have surgery, ah eye surgery in a
couple of in a few days, a few days. Right
first time I had it done, my wife was there
with me the whole time. I mean, somebody there to
take you there, drive you, bring you back, you bring
you back down, get you into the bed, you know,
make sure you're okay, check on you, bring stuff up.
(26:30):
I mean all those things. I mean the things that
you have somebody to be able that you can depend on, right,
because I mean, let's be real, I mean, your mother
and father are not gonna be there for you forever.
They can't operate in that same capacity for you your entire life.
Same thing with your siblings, even your best friends, they're
not gonna be able to be there for you the
whole time. But your spouse, you'll find out when you're
(26:52):
married just how much you actually depend on them for stuff, right,
and how glad you are to be able to have them,
and vice versa, how glad they are to be able
to have you, to be able to depend on for
stuff and that shit. When you do get older, man,
that shit becomes a lot critical. Like you talk a
lot that good. You talk about you young boys talking
that stuff now that they in their twenties and stuff
or whatever, nineteen teens. But like daug when you are
(27:15):
age forty and then you get in the fifties and sixties,
having somebody it's a lot, right, because you could go
that long and then not have anybody. But when you
need some things, like something medically happens to you. With
something like that, people are always trying to scramble to
find out who it is they can have with them.
Then who's available Nobody? Your parents are gone, your siblings
(27:37):
might be around, they might not even live in the
same state. Your friends are all grown with families and
stuff for their own, and they kids might even have kids,
they might be grandparents now. They got things going on.
So when you're sixty something years old, having somebody matters, right.
You may have a true blue like down in the
mud with your friend that could come through for you
in a clutch, and some people have those friends, right,
(27:57):
But that shit is not a guarantee. Your spouse in
a good, healthy and loving relationship is then about as
close as you're gonna get to a guarantee of having
somebody when you got at that age in your life. Right,
So ship is sweet right now, they're twenty years old life.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
You know what, oyster, I can see them not being
that way too, because their generation cooked. You know what,
I'm saying, like they watching the girl, the girls, they
about to have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
This that can't do nothing. They can't even watch close
for yourself.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Know the colors, the colors.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
White white with the white scent, darks with dark sin.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yeah, they don't know what goes with the fried chicken gravy.
Speaker 5 (28:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Well that's the thing is like I'm trying to figure out.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
What like what Thanksgivings about to be cooked?
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Yo?
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Thanksgiving about Yo? This is you reading my mind, Brouse.
I was just thinking about that ship just now.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
I was like, so so when you think about and
then you and what they're growing up to is going
is making it even more to where they cooked.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
So what they like they see the baddies, you got
the you got the aunties out here and not acting
like like they showing them something for them.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Like oh yeah, they showing them that they act out too.
So now they're like, oh that's.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
What That's how I act when I got a man
all out. So now hey, they it's cooked. It's cooked
for the young boys.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
I'm gonna tell you what's gonna be cooked in like
ten to fifteen years. Family reunions and holidays are going
to be cooked in about ten to fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
That's already that's already cooked. Yeah, I mean family unions
are far in few Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Ship class reunions are far and few between nowadays. Man,
I had one, and that's.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Got some social media, y'all. Like away class reunions, you
can see what.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Everybody doing anyway exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
On Facebook and Instagram. You used to being in that
beable to see that. You had to wait until.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
The reunion, like oh yeah, you doing that.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Then you'd be like, oh soldier over there, Oh yeah,
she got seven more kids.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah he got five more.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Kids, right exactly.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Back then, you walking like, oh, want my cousin to
his ten year reunion?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
They had it, uh Walkings Glenn Parks. I went. I
was like, oh yeah, y'all had some things in here.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
D you look at it face like oh no, yeah, yeah,
we got I think I was coming up. I think
I got a message saying I was October twenty years reunion.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Okay, wow wow yeah. So I mean yeah, man, I
mean you talk all that now, but it's like the
same type of ship and problems we deal with the
same things they're gonna deal with when they get old too. Man,
it matters have somebody, right and that could be a friend,
it could even be a family member, but you know,
having someone it matters. Like even when I when I
(31:09):
banked and I was doing banking, and I was in
a branch and I was in one of the older
communities cultural right outside that, like the you know, the
newer parts of Silver Springs. Some of these people been
in their houses and been lived in that community for
forty fifty some of them even sixty years. To see
some of the old couples come in and whatever. They
they depend on each other, man, you know, and then
when one of them dies, it's kind of like you
(31:31):
see a part of them sort of leave when that
person dies. And at that point it's like I got
to refigure life out now because this person that had
with me for forty fifty years is now gone. So
that portion of it of the human connection is a
little bit discouraging that they don't want to do that
part of human connection anymore. And that's that's disappointing, you know.
(31:51):
But the younger generation is always going to be like that. Man.
I think at some point in time, we probably would
like that, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
I think, but I think a lot of good stuff
was passed down from older than us to you.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, So like a lot of you have some girls
in it and out of cook, but then you got
some girl a lot of girls that do not to cook. Yeah,
age when you go further down, you're looking at the
girls as early thirties, right, so mid thirties and early thirties,
a lot of.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Them are not a cook. Yeah, you see you see
them on social media. Yeah, and then some of them
passing over to.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Where Cardi b I don't cook, I don't clean, cat
me show you how I got this ring?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, some of them don't got that though.
Speaker 5 (32:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Right, I'm want to be.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Saying I find out y'all done got Yeah, y'all just
be running through you got it?
Speaker 5 (32:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Yeah, Yeah, that's the truth, man, It is, it is.
It's marriage has always been the challenge. It's just a
matter of I think as a generation's move on, people have,
like you said, what are you willing to deal with?
And what are you not willing to deal with? There's
been a lot of horror stories from our parents' generation
our brothers, older brother and sisters generations, our generations that
have sort of turned them off the things like, well,
(33:04):
I'm not dealing with that, right and I guess it's
just a matter of like I'm not even going to try.
And that's what I think I see more so for
the main thing, because like, you know, I'm cool right
now doing what it is, and I'm doing right now
and I'm good with that for the foreseeable future. I
don't really see a need for me to change, you
know so, But there's always a shift, man, and the
(33:24):
generations things that happen, there's always a shift within the generations.
The same shit's gonna happen to them what happened to us,
to our oldest brothers and sisters generations, to our parents' generations.
All that things are going to sort of shift, man. Eventually,
there will things that people will sort of fall into
place with what it is that they're meant to be
and not necessarily what they thought they were going to be,
(33:44):
you know so, I mean, I do know that the
marriage rate is dropping. Can't we can't deny that, you know,
less and less people are getting married nowadays, and then
I'm staying married as long as they used to now,
So that's all a part of the game. Yeah, So
what are you willing to deal with? And what are
you not willing to deal with? And our grandmother's willing
(34:06):
to deal with a whole bunch of stuff, and grandfather's
the same, our older brothers and sisters. Maybe a little
bit less us, a little bit less in them less
than us.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, I don't think I got grandmother. They they didn't.
They probably was just heavy with going home. Look, they
were still a home so food meal. They ain't even
care about that now, iuse clean cooked meal.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
That was it.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
Things were simpler back then. But your grandmother and more
likely than I, didn't have to work most time, and
if she did, even if she did, she was still
home first, and she still got all that other stuff done,
you know what I'm saying. But the one thing I
could tell you, though, what our grandmothers didn't have to
worry about, was making sure that they had enough groceries
in the damn house to make sure that they could
(34:49):
eat for the most part if they could afford it right,
or being able to make sure that the house could
be kept tidy and not be stressed about things and
everything else. Why don't we think your grandfather had to
do is go out there and make the bacon and
bring home, you know, and take care of the manly
ship around the house, make sure the grass cut house
got things got to get fixed up around the house.
Just get done. It was a simpler time back then, man.
(35:12):
Now it's ship a lot more complicated now than what
it was back then. Man, that's why marriage is harder,
because ship is a lot more complicated. You know, all
around both both parents are working nowadays.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
We also learned this a new word, boundaries.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
I think that that's also I think that also then
messed up, well not messed up, but that also then
played the part. And yeah, the family reunion section or whatever.
People people to be around their uncles, touching the older girls,
all the little girls that you know, your your uncle
funny watching them around.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
We ain't gonna be doing that no more. We ain't
going to that event. We are not.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
That being everybody business and don't really know how to
say stuff out of her mouth. Just say whatever you know,
But you know, it's stuff like that, drama and stuff happens,
disputes and stuff happened, and it's like instead of you
being like, Okay, let me fix this dispute and make
sure that we're cool. It's like, nah, we good. I'm
good off that, and I don't have to come back
to one of these again, be for real, for real,
(36:15):
me my husband and my kids or me and my
wife and my kids are cool on coming back to
any one of these reunions again. I'm y'all, y'all be
safe and that's it. Yeah, So what are you willing
to deal with? What are you not willing to deal with? Boundaries?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, certain things going different, Like nah, I ain't gonna
have that energy around me. Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
Like people ask me about their relationship, but I don't
even told you them no more.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Like what like, nah, I I ain't playing that game.
Too old for that game.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Yeah, real talk, real talk, man, That's yeah, that's that's
really what it is. And I get it. Yeah, it's
people I know that don't talk to their parents no
more because of stuff. Those boundaries we talked about. You
know what I'm saying, I'm like, I'm good because you know,
I recognize this is a problem and I don't want
that problem anymore.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
So, yeah, you don't want your kids growing up seeing
seeing that, that's how, that's how things could be treated
around here. Yeah, like we you're gonna let your kids
see your grandparents disrespect you.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
Yeah, as a grown man, as a.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Girl, baby girl, Hey, that's how. Is that how you're
gonna treat me when I get older? Make sure I
feel it and you ain't gonna treat me like that.
Speaker 5 (37:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
So hey, And that's one of the things that it is. Yeah,
that's one of the things I was telling my daughter.
I was like, you know, my my baby girl, I
was telling her. I was like, you know what, you
can have every relationship you want to have with everybody
outside of what I don't have a relationship with. That's
when you do determine your relationship with them. I'm not
(37:52):
gonna get in the way of that.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I said. My relationship with them is this right here.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
You ain't gonna hear it, and I ain't gonna make
you try to felt away because I feel this way.
This is my feelings. So you determine your own feelings
what's going on right there, and that's on you. You
love them, and you love them, they cross you, you
feel away with them, that's gonna be on you. If
they don't, hey, that's more power to you and their
(38:18):
relationship right there.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
But over here, Yeah, we're gonna go with the respect.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
I respect you, you respect me, You don't respect me,
I don't respect you.
Speaker 4 (38:29):
Yeah, yeah, that is. That is.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
You know a lot of old folks they think they
go to where the old school?
Speaker 5 (38:37):
Old school?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Are you supposed to just respect me.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Because I'm because I.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Respect me because I'm an elder.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
If you showing disrespect and I don't like, I don't
lose myself into it. But we're not going to cross
this line no more.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Yeah, a lot of.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Cross Like I don't have a certain respect for you
up to a point, and when once we get past
that point, then that's when it comes a problem. And
I'm not going just just because yeah you're older, I'm
a Yes, I do have a certain amount of respect
for you, but you've crossed that point of where disrespect.
Now we're not. We're not having that, you know what
I'm saying. And I do think that other generations kind
(39:15):
of do have that part of it kind of twisted
up the feelers though we've we've lost something else, like
now we've gained something actually because if y'all would have
had some of that ship in place beforehand, shit wouldn't
have been a toxic for real.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Yeah right, yeah, you saying that right there, if you
try to be having those conversations about being toxic, and
that'll be one to hear.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
What.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Yeah, okay, it's cool, y'all don't see it, we see it. Yeah,
so hey, I don't be one it around. Yeah, keep
it cool, keep it light, and I keep it I
keep it sure and respectful.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Yeah right, well we are at the end.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
Yep, oh quick, a baby my whole crump.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I said, so my daughter's mother was talking about.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah, I want you to put eyes on them so
you can get a feel for In my mind, I.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Was like you, I'm trying to make me dead. Now
you should.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Years ago?
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Yeah right, I want eyes, my eyes on my daughter
eighteen years ago.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
Eighteen right, exactly right.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
I said, because y'all yell or some mool and ship. Yeah,
let this little nigga live with y'all.
Speaker 6 (40:34):
Right, y'all, mocket nah, I told her. I told him
a card, I said, it's left. I ain't the one
you looking at me like, I said, Look, I'm not
not that. I don't you I said, but hey, I'm
gonna let you know. I don't know what he'd be on.
I kind of know I am him. I will come
(40:58):
up there to be a problem exactly, I said. So
she never call on my phone telling me it's a problem. Yeah, no,
I will be I said. I drove from Virginia to
Ohio when she was born.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
I said, I will make that try, you know, to
make sure she is straightened out exactly. Like he was like, like,
I said, look, just get it together. And I'm rooting
for you. Yeah, I said, I want to let you know.
I said, you know, black man and black man, I'm
rooting for you. I hope you get it together. I said,
and it's gonna it's not gonna be no cakewalk, but
(41:31):
you think it is.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
I said, let's make sure we know. Yeah, and I'm
probably the crazy one out of us.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Oh yeah, was like, I have a safe flight in look.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
But yeah, it was nice. It was nice.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
It was nice saying that I got some pictures or whatever.
And the baby, the oldest to the baby, Hey, the baby.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
Walking, Yeah, wow, how old is he again?
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Seven months?
Speaker 4 (42:03):
He walking? Already? Got they Yeah, that's crazy, man, My
son wasn't walking till after he was one man for real,
like walking good walking.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Into about six seven step.
Speaker 5 (42:16):
Wow, like look, we wasn't ready.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
We ain't ready that that bat all over the room
that you're being too everything?
Speaker 4 (42:28):
Oh yeah, what's taking on two feet? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
He and every he was already starting to get all
over the runk.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
He really had a crawl. He really just stood up,
scooter at the places or whatever. He was standing up,
take a step, fall down, staying back up, take a step,
fall back down, staying move a little bit.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Get you like y? I get now about another month
or he straight full.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Walking twenty thirty steps.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 4 (43:01):
That's crazy, man, seven months My son wasn't doing that
to like he was like maybe ten eleven months old,
taking a few steps here and there. You know. So
once they get on two feet and they get moving, lookout, man,
look out. I know it's been a while, but you know.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah, forget I't forget.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Oh man, Yeah that's what's up. Good good stuff, good stuff.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
But thank you for listening, Thank you for supporting. Like share,
subscribe to the Vult Classic Music Review.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Hey, support is free, free just.
Speaker 7 (43:35):
Share that episode. Yeah, we love for you to listen
to it. And we love the feedback and I have
some supporters. I appreciate y'all be having. It's about twenty
y'all that be in my d M talking about he yo,
what an episode dropping? I had a bad jump on
a live so yo.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
When the new when you're dropping a new episode, I
was like, who the hell's look? I was like, I
don't even know right, I said, oh, he must, I said,
oh no, I said, man, hey, it's coming, it's coming in.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
You know, you know somebody listening, sir.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
Indeed, you know you know it ain't nobody from Booie,
but right, y'all want to be in there the year
were you bell cuts all y'all niggas out.
Speaker 5 (44:23):
Exactly exactly crazy.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
But you know, we appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
You know, magnify the blessings over the disappointments, and we.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Are thank you for listening to the Raw Sex Podcast.
Tune in next time for more to explore
You are listening to the Raw Sex Podcast, Love Relationships, Dating,
Intimacy and more. Now here's your host, Dominique Marx.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, here we go again.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Courses me your creator, Dominique, and you already know who's
with me, Who's always will be my super reduce A B.
Cops is Lessen, the creator of the Vault Classic music
review nothing but the Classics hashtag open up the Vault
Hip Hop, R and B reggae movie soundtracks.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Go check it out. Support is free, free go say,
just like.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Share, subscribe, comment, whatever whatever you like to do. We'll
just do the support. That's all we really ask for
what you have. Dropping soon, B.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
I'm working on a couple of different things of trying
to get out by the end of the summer. Gez
Doug motivation one oh one that dropped this summer. I
got a couple of other things coming up, reviewing. I
want to do something. I'm looking at putting out something
about the source of awards In ninety five, the thirtieth
anniversary of that joint just came out, and we know
(01:11):
how pivotal that night was to the culture because of
all the things that happened during that night. And what's
fascinating to me is reading and reading and also listening
to the different perspectives of people who were there that night,
like the stars we grew up listening to and watching
and idolyzing, from the method Mans to the Redman, to
the Goodie Mobs to Questlove, to Smith and Wesson's to Onyx.
(01:36):
You know what I'm saying, The West Coast folks out there,
you know what I'm saying that were there, folks with
death Row. And it's crazy how in those thirty years,
how much is transpired, like just even the three years
after that, what happened in the game, you know, and
how pivotal it was to hip hop and moving forward.
So well, hopefully I can get that out by the
end of the summer. Man, y'all pray for me. Your
(01:57):
boy needs not just time and energy, he also needs
a little motivation as well. So you know, y'all y'all
sticking there with me.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I can't wait to hear that. Yeah, that's that's very interesting,
right there. I forgot it's been that long.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Yeah, since the day So.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
August August thirty, nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Man, so classic classic clips from the Classic Clips, Oh.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, lots of classic clips during that.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, sir, Hey, yeah, tonight's topic we're going to be
Now he's been married for about three four years now.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Before years before years and September third man.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Right around the corner.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Is it happy wife, happy life or do you have
a different aspect on perspective on that right then, now
that you've been married almost four years.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
It's you know, we've I feel like we've talked about
this before.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Right, but we wasn't married when we talked about.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
It, right, So I mean, but but you know what
I what I said then is basically what I say now,
And it's you know, a lot of people put a
lot of energy into this whole thing about how, oh
the household should be balanced. You know, it shouldn't just
be happy wife, happy life, because it should be happy spouse,
happy house and you know, the man deserves to have
(03:18):
some happiness too, and everything else like that. And I've
really examined that over the last few years, and you know,
before that even but you know, my perspective really hasn't changed.
It's remained the same. And we've talked about this as well,
about the dynamics of being in a household with a
man with a husband and a wife, man and a woman,
and the different things about the level of tolerance that
(03:40):
you're willing to that you have and the wings of
things you're also willing to accept. Right now, you'll remember
if I said this, right, if a man is unhappy
in the house, the house can still be relatively peaceful
as a matter of fact, in most logical situations. If
a man is not necessarily three old or happy, house
(04:01):
can be still functional and everything else. But if a
woman is not happy in the household, shit gonna be chaos.
It's gonna be chaos. Everything is thrown the hell off, right,
And I'm gonna tell you why. A lot of this
is about the I would say, the general characteristics of
men and women in regards to how we handle different things.
(04:23):
For the most part, what do we prioritize men? We
prioritize peace above everything else. And you know what, we'll
sacrifice a lot of things in the manner of peace.
Will sacrifice having more money, will sacrifice, happiness, will sacrifice
watching sports, maybe a few nights out with the homeboys
(04:44):
where we want to go out, but we don't necessarily
think that it's a good idea for us to go out,
we'll sacrifice a lot because peace is paramount in a
man's life, especially at our age over forty, because the
last thing you want is some dramas bullshit. Nobody wants
that at our age to be dealing with drama and bullshit,
let alone from the sit inside its own house. So
(05:08):
the only thing a lot of us want at times
is peace. And if we have peace, everything else to
kind of work itself out. That's what kind of like
what we're used to doing. And I think that now
if we choose this life of matrimony and being married
and having a family, will choose peace over anything else, right,
because every we don't want all that noise is no
(05:33):
not at all. But for a woman, happiness is paramount, right,
even if it isn't necessarily completely peaceful. But there's a
lot of things that condec and disrupt a woman's happiness.
The list is way too long for me to go
through the list of things, but let's just say things
(05:53):
ain't going to right right. Let's say, like, you know,
work kind of sucks, you know what I'm saying, Things
crazy when you get home, and and you know, uh,
at times, and certain things aren't done or whatever. For
the most part, it's like, look, man, all I wanna
do is just grab my beer, you know, sit down,
have this and before we start getting ready for dinner
and getting these kids ready everything like that. And I
(06:14):
just won't be able to shower and get my bed
and go to sleep and enjoy a good, nice relax
to sleep. And that's cool, right, But if things when
it comes to your your wife, it j things just
can't be be just okay, it can't be average. Things
have to be handled, and I I give it to
(06:35):
the way that way. How women's brains are, they're wired,
how they're wired, right, it's a reason why they're more
organized than things with us, right, and the reason why
they're better at different functions of things with us because
of how they are, you know, maternally functionally basically sort
of being And that's just kind of being point guard
in the house, cause that's generally what I like to
liken it to. Yeah, but if somebody on the plate
(06:57):
doesn't do what they supposed to do, the point God
goes to hell off because that's not the place we're
not running this play, right, What are you doing over
there when you're supposed to be doing this, no matter
if the basket goes in right and y'all score two points, No,
because that wasn't the play, And that's sort of what
I like in it too. Things have to be in place,
(07:19):
and things have to be the way they think how
they're going to operate. If they don't, then that's a disruption.
That disruption causes angst. And with angst, women in angst
and men in aks kind of a little bit differently.
We kind of find a way to sometimes deal with it,
unless you're a drama king and then you make a
big deal about everything, and we know a lot of
dudes out there like that. But for women, know it
(07:40):
could be the slightest little thing that comes out of
place and that could manifest in a number of different things,
right or they going to hell off? And not only that,
but they're gonna let you more than likely either hear
about it or you'll feel it. And the energy that
she gives off when she's around you, and then when
that happens, the energy for everything else is all like
throwing the hell off. So in my perspective of my
(08:05):
four years, I still kind of believe that that you
could be unhappy about a lot of things as a husband,
but the one thing you do you want more than
anything else's peace right, and it could be a lot
of shit going wrong. I always tell people, oh, you
always want to know what it is you're willing to
put up with and what you're not willing to put
(08:26):
up with. Be married and you'll find out exactly what
it is you're willing to put up with, what you're
willing not to put up with, and understand that not
putting up with something and deciding to deal with it
how much of a headachet actually cost is you and
then see how to fuck quickly you recoil back and
be like, you know what, just forget it. That's it.
I'm good, right, So that's really in a nutshell what
(08:47):
I'll say, what it is, because my big thing is
that as long as she's happy and okay and things
are the harmony is kind of in the house, and
she's alright with that, I'm good. Because there's been plenty
of times I ain't been you know, things been kind
of a ain't no trouble, and my marriage is fine,
but every once in a while things just be like
you just kind of sit there and be like m
(09:09):
But then after a while you just kind of be like,
you know what shit is good? Right now? This is this?
That is that, Leave that be what it is, and
then you know, we go on to the next day
and that's it, right, Because what I will say is
this the big difference is that we're used to shouldering
a lot of stuff and not necessarily expressing how we
feel about it. Because again, I take this back to
(09:33):
a shirt that one of my fret brothers wore. It's like,
nobody cares work harder, right, yeah, what are you bitching about?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Right?
Speaker 4 (09:40):
That's to think, it's like, what the hell are you
bitching about?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Now?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
If you got us you know, legitimate claim and legitimate
gripe about something that's actually legitimate, But then what amounts
for a man? What's legitimate gripe?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Right?
Speaker 4 (09:52):
I see this shit all day on the internet too.
Man complain about stuff, and all it is is counteracted
by women about well you try this, and it's always
about something that women generally have to do, and all
of a sudden it's like, well that's microscopic compared to
what we do. So what are you complaining about?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Right?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
And in a lot of cases, that's true. They do
have to deal with a lot of shit that I
think men really would would fucking lose our minds about
if we had to deal or deal with that. But
in the meanwhile, he used to understand the amount of
shit that a man carries, and how much he actually learned.
It's just like, you know what, I got to compartmentalize
this shit, move on and keep going to the next thing,
because that's what this depends on. That's what I break
it down to. Man, it's your tolerance for stuff with girls.
(10:31):
When you know that you want peace above everything else.
That's it. No drama, nobs, you just want.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Peace with the compartmentalizing. You think that's sometimes not healthy though.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Right, No, not, it isn't. It definitely isn't. And that's
where outlets come into.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Right.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
We talked about the whole conversation a few weeks ago,
about a month ago or so even longer than that,
about being you being overwhelmed. You know, do you get
overwhelmed at home in a relationship, in life in general?
That's where outlets come into. What is your out and
I have a few outlets, and so for me that
sort of lessons the burden on me, especially when I'm
around my friends or my frat brothers and they're like, yo,
(11:08):
I understand that. I know that one, I'm not alone
because I'm they going through the same shit too, just
on different levels, different different versions of the same story,
right you talking and like, damn dog, so you going
through some ship like that too, or she fucked around
and brought that ship up on you two, Okay, damn cool?
All right, Well I'm not the only one out here
suffering and ship. You know, that's what it be like.
(11:31):
And so when you do it like.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yeah, I thought somebody was gonna pick this up and
fix this, and yeah for my husband to fix it.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Yeah, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Even saying.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
So she said it the second time.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Let me go ahead and go ahead and do it.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
But then it's just not even it's stuff like that
I don't even bring up, right, or things that I
won't even necessarily mention. I think I got like attacks,
like I don't know, like three weeks ago, and a
bunch of my alone brothers text me like, YO, were
about to go to this whatever, some joint whatever, some
divine Greek joint was happening, and they was like, YO,
were about to go hang out whoever's throwing it. And
(12:13):
I was like, I could tell her I'm about to
go to this thing and go out, but it's one,
it's the same day. Two, it's this whatever day in
the week. Three, we both got to work tomorrow. I said,
you know, I don't think this is worth not even
just a discussion or because nine times out of ten
it's going to be like not even that. Ten times
(12:34):
out of ten it's going to be like, all right, cool,
But that I cool comes with some you know, every
married man that I noticed listening to this right now,
I know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. That
I cool, got some some daggers and some bullets and
shit behind whatever facade it is that she has because
she mad because you're doing pulling some shit like this.
So at this point I was just like, you know, yes,
(12:56):
it's all yes, it's if you ever want to ever
think what your wife is thinking, don't ever pay attention
to her eyes.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Bruh.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
She'll tell you everything right there. And so I just
text him back and was like, now you know what,
I'm gonna sit this one out, man. That's how I
got too and shit going on at home and that's
it now. I did that because I'm trying to anticipate
what the reaction is going to be, considering what it
is that I'm attempting, what I'm gonna say, Yeah, I'm
about to I'm about to roll out, right. And then
(13:23):
what makes it even worse is the fact that if
we didn't have any kids, Okay, that might not be
too big of a deal. When you got a two
year old at home, Yeah, because all that stuff that
means that if I'm gone, I'm leaving at like seven thirty,
then that means that I ain't gonna be there for
bad time or bad time. And then you gotta take
a shower, and you gotta make sure that you can
get this to make sure you can watch the monitor
(13:44):
water back. It's a lot of things involved in that, right.
So sometimes, like I said, it's just peace, that's it. Right,
That's an example of it, and not that that's a
bad thing. And not to say that I don't like
staying at home, because I love being at home my
family and my little boy, especially now with the age
that he's at right now. But that's just an example
of what I'm talking about. As far as choosing peace.
I try to anticipate the problem in regards to something
(14:06):
that I was that I wanted to do, and instead
of causing that potential problem, I avoided it completely because
I thought about what that after.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Man after man, Yeah, these three four hours of me
going out, yeah, and come home having two weeks and
in peace.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Yeah, is it worth it? Exactly right? So I pick
and choose my spots when I do go out, and
I hang out with the brus and it's like, you know,
she knows, Oh, he ain't been out in like a month.
You know it's time for him to go out and
chill because she knows I need that shit sometimes, you
know what I'm saying. So, but it's trying to anticipate
stuff like that. It's like the hmm, she asleep. Let
me go downstairs and make sure this food put away,
(14:43):
the dishes is done, and everything else is square away.
And I alway to help me pack little man's lunch
so that by the time we all get down here
tomorrow morning get ready to either for work, all we
gotta do is just drop shit in the bag and
then get in the car and get rolling. Little stuff
like that, right, And there are a lot of men
out there that look at situations like that that won't
do not none of that, and we'll don't understand why
(15:03):
their girls always on their case. So in women's defense,
I will understand because some men are clueless, like some
men in that situation will literally leave the food on
the on the on the up on this toe top,
won't put the shit away. We'll leave everything and the
next morning you wake up, that shit all gonna be
right there, you know, or half asset and put like
just throw all the ship, the pot and all that
(15:25):
ship inside of the inside of the refrigerator and don't
even clean up or wipe nothing down or nothing like that,
and maybe wondering why she on your case? Dog, I
would too look at this ship. I understand men need happiness.
I get that, But you know you don't you want peas, bro,
that's you don't want no bullshit. And yeah, so I
(15:46):
remember somebody I was talking to them about that same
PROD thing and they're like, man, you gotta put your
foot down. Man, you can't be let I said, listen,
I get it. There's a way to put your foot down.
You have to do it tactically, tactively, right. You can't
just run around like you got the biggest ball in
the world and you boss hole and this ship like that,
because that shit don't necessarily work. It may have worked
for our grandfathers helor might even work for our fathers generation.
(16:08):
That shit don't really fly nowadays unless you just sold
bread Winner and you got all the money and she
can't really say nothing because you you literally bringing home
all the dough, baking the goddamn breads and cut hering
and cutting and buttering it at home as well.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And you're only gonna go through that in one relationship
exactly right.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Once you leave that relationship right there, she ain't going
through that no more.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
She gonna be like, I got some money and blah
blah blah, bah man, I'm.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Gonna take you. I'm gonna pay this. I'm gonna pay this.
So she don't have to hear.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
So you'll have to be like, oh, yeah, this is
my I'm gonna do it this way, sit down, Oh no,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
So I tell people, yeah, you can put your foot down,
but there's a way to do it, you know. And
what you have to do is you have to frame
it in a way that they can understand. This is
the reason why I'm taking this stance on this right
and hear how this plays out in regards to us,
this household and our family, and you're successful. He might
be fifty percent, then that's being generous. But it might
(17:05):
be fifty percent. She still might not even have that shit,
you know what I'm saying. But you know what, it
might It might actually work. I'm just saying, I don't
know many households, marriages, relationships where if the woman's in
a good space where shit is kind of all fucked
(17:26):
up at home, right, the relationship goes bad. I don't
I don't know many. I mean, it happens right because
you know, women are happening all the time, and all
of a sudden, out of nowhere, you know, he want
a divorce, and then marriage shit is over with, right,
and it's like shit bubbles up at the top all
the one goddamned time, Which, to your point, is that
healthy to sort of knock to carpermentalize and not have
(17:49):
to get your shit out there in the air. It is,
You're right, it does. But for the most part, if
they happy and shit is good, stuff gonna be good
at home too, you know, I mean, they if shit
is good for the most part, they'll handle their business
at home. They not going not handle their business at home.
Eight times out of ten. Now there is the fact
of the matter that they could be happy at home
(18:10):
and they still won't be doing their part, you know
what I'm saying. And in that case, then you got
yourself with my fucking problem, and some conversations need to
be had. But if she happy, though, for the most part,
shit gonna go down at home. I mean, she gonna
handle her business. That stuffs gonna be right, the things
that she's picking up, her slack on duties and stuff
she do, stuff gonna get done. She'll be pleasant around
the household. If you're lucky, you might be able to
(18:31):
get some ass every once in a while, you know,
like your shit might are actually often. You know, all
that stuff will happen. She'll have a joy about some
certain things. She won't have stress or anything else. But
let the shit be around like you having the time
of her life and she fucking struggling the shit out there,
doug Two times out of ten, Shit still stays together
when shit is like that, You know what I'm talking about.
(18:53):
If you out there living a goddamn life and shit
seemed great to you. But your wife is fighting for
her goddamn life every day and you're not doing jack
shit about it. What you think that look like?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Man?
Speaker 4 (19:04):
What does the household look like? We all know, more
often than not, we all know what it looks like.
So this talk about the balance and everything is great. Man,
But if you ask men, what do you choose? Do
you choose happiness or do you choose peace? A lot
of men will choose to be happy. But the men
who are team players and the ones who want to
(19:25):
have a long lasting marriage, for the most part, they'll
choose peace over everything else. That's not saying that the
niggas who want peace that they still don't go out
and cheat because they do.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
The like.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
With everybody, know, they say ship sometimes the side keeping
the marriage going. I was like I said, I said,
I kept a lot of relationships going to being somebody side.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Yeah, I think I told you about the situation friend
of mine where him and his wife basically it got
to the point they marri they've been married for years
where they're basically for the most part, they kind of
admitted they were kind of incompatibly sexually, like you know,
one had more higher libido than the other one. And
you know, the wife didn't have us high. The men's
libido was still through the goddamn roof, even though however
(20:15):
old he was. And I think she kind of, I
guess at some point in time was just kind of like, yo, look,
I understand you want this, this and that, Like, I
don't know if I can give that to you. But shit,
if if that's what you want, okay, you can go
out there and get it. But just these are the
ground rules. No more babies, don't bring no diseases in
(20:36):
the house. None of them come around to anything that
we have, whether it's us in the family, me and
you or nothing like that. They have to be out
of sight, out of mind. And oh, your time is
limited to x amount of whatever days of the week.
And if it's gonna be like Wednesday, you're gonna go
over fuck it, that's fine. You know the next week
it is Thursday, cool, then that's it. But you this
(20:58):
is your priority. You still take care of this family.
We still together, we still go out and do things.
But as far as that aspect of our marriage, yeah,
go ahead, do what you gotta do, but don't do
any of these things. That's the ground rules, and as
long as you follow those ground rules will be okay,
that's it, and they still married. They still married, So
it works. I mean in certain situations something like that
(21:18):
can work. The side junt can keep things going that way.
You ain't all pissed off at home because you know
your wife don't want to give you none and you
tied at home beating your deck. You know, you out
there getting your shit met, but you still ant lay
your business at home with your wife and kids and stuff. Man.
Sometimes like yeah, the side jont can't keep the marriage good.
(21:40):
And I know it's a lot of wealthy men with
stuff that's out there like that, the one that said
Kevin Samuel said about you know how you men got
more than one woman that they got somebody to satisfied,
different needs and stuff that they have. I know, it's
a lot out there like that. Hell, it was some
regular marriages out there like that too. So things just
got to kind of work out, man, and to find
(22:00):
up the happy medium and figuring out, like I said,
what is your tolerance to what it is you're willing
to deal with and what you're not ready to deal with?
Like damn do I want to go in here start
a fight about some ship today, Like, no, I don't
do I want to hear her mouth? Do I want
to hear her mouth about this ship today?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
No?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
I don't. Damn do I want to search do dirty
looks and some heavy sign and some teas and stuff like? No,
I don't want to deal with none of that ship,
none of it.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
So what do you tell because you know the younger generation,
they they shine away from marriage. Yeah, like I had
a lot of young and young women that's yeah, with marriage.
What you think has changed in that aspect of they not?
Because my young boy told me, he's like, bro, I
ain't get married now, I said, I say you say
that now?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
I said, Well when you get.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Old, I said, I said, you a couple of years
when you start like you know what, Yeah, you stop
running a little bit, you run into some chicken like
you know what. She matched all these qualities that I like, Yeah,
I probably get right here.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I said.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Now, she may say she don't want marriage, I said,
but more time than that, they a't.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Gonna want marriage. What you want to do that? Yeah? Man,
right now? He said, But did I be hearing.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
A lot of a lot of younger people now not
into the confines of marriage.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Yeah, a lot of younger people in these younger generations
now will running away from the confines of a lot
of shit. I mean, you gotta think they're not about
nine to five jobs. They're not about the yo yo,
(23:39):
They're not about full time in the office. The COVID
kind of played the responsibility in that because some of
them that's the only word world that some of them
have known. They're not about the whole business attire, going
to work and ship like that, no certain tie or
being professionally dressed. They're not about having a set schedule
to we have to do and do some certain type
of things. They're not even really about going to judicial
(24:00):
methods of schooling in college like that. You know, they
are eschewing a lot of the things that were considered
to be traditional on the norms what we did and
are saying, nah, like screw all that. I ain't with that.
So it wasn't surprised they against going to church every Sunday.
You know, their our generation kind of started it. It's
kind of like the millennials and elder millennials and heading
(24:21):
into later in the millennial generation. But now in the
gen Z and gen Helfa, they really running away from
the church now considering all the things that have sort
of happened over these last few decades. So it doesn't
surprise me that they're like yo own marriage, because why
the failure rate for marriage is alarming. It's it's literally
a toss up fifty to fifty. And because we're on
(24:43):
social media these days, and because there's so much talk
about people who have been divorced or been in relationships
to talking about some well, I'm not doing this ever again.
I've been married, I'm not getting married again. I'm not
having to deal with or stuff they've had to deal
with with their ex wife or their ex husband, or
their baby mother baby father. And so when you do
all of that and hear all that, it's like, that's
(25:05):
not ringing endorsement for me want to be married? Why
would I want to do that? So if they don't
want to do nine to five jobs, they not with
traditional learning then going to college, they not with business attire,
they not with keeping this set schedule, then why the
fuck would they want to be married? They about doing them.
But as every generation has it, as you're young, so
it is but when you get older though, And this
(25:27):
is what I always tell people, because I kind of
thought that I was going to be that person, and
I was going to kind of be that, you know,
the single friend and a group of people who were
married and I just wasn't going to have any kids
and I wasn't gonna get married. I thought that way
for a while. But the one thing I do have
to say is marriage is important for a lot of
different reasons. It is a business decision, but it's an
emotional one as well. You should marry somebody who you're
(25:50):
in love with. You should marry somebody who likes you,
and you should marry somebody who fits you and also
compliments you as well. But the bigger, th, biggest thing
that I've understanding now that I'm married instead, you don't
know how much you depend on your spouse for stuff
until you're married, until you have to go through things
and understand that they're the person that's gonna be there
(26:10):
for you, right if they're the person that's gonna be Like,
I'm about to have surgery, ah eye surgery in a
couple of in a few days, a few days. Right
first time I had it done, my wife was there
with me the whole time. I mean, somebody there to
take you there, drive you, bring you back, you bring
you back down, get you into the bed, you know,
make sure you're okay, check on you, bring stuff up.
(26:30):
I mean all those things. I mean the things that
you have somebody to be able that you can depend on, right,
because I mean, let's be real, I mean, your mother
and father are not gonna be there for you forever.
They can't operate in that same capacity for you your entire life.
Same thing with your siblings, even your best friends, they're
not gonna be able to be there for you the
whole time. But your spouse, you'll find out when you're
(26:52):
married just how much you actually depend on them for stuff, right,
and how glad you are to be able to have them,
and vice versa, how glad they are to be able
to have you, to be able to depend on for
stuff and that shit. When you do get older, man,
that shit becomes a lot critical. Like you talk a
lot that good. You talk about you young boys talking
that stuff now that they in their twenties and stuff
or whatever, nineteen teens. But like daug when you are
(27:15):
age forty and then you get in the fifties and sixties,
having somebody it's a lot, right, because you could go
that long and then not have anybody. But when you
need some things, like something medically happens to you. With
something like that, people are always trying to scramble to
find out who it is they can have with them.
Then who's available Nobody? Your parents are gone, your siblings
(27:37):
might be around, they might not even live in the
same state. Your friends are all grown with families and
stuff for their own, and they kids might even have kids,
they might be grandparents now. They got things going on.
So when you're sixty something years old, having somebody matters, right.
You may have a true blue like down in the
mud with your friend that could come through for you
in a clutch, and some people have those friends, right,
(27:57):
But that shit is not a guarantee. Your spouse in
a good, healthy and loving relationship is then about as
close as you're gonna get to a guarantee of having
somebody when you got at that age in your life. Right,
So ship is sweet right now, they're twenty years old life.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
You know what, oyster, I can see them not being
that way too, because their generation cooked. You know what,
I'm saying, like they watching the girl, the girls, they
about to have to deal with.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
This that can't do nothing. They can't even watch close
for yourself.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Know the colors, the colors.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
White white with the white scent, darks with dark sin.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yeah, they don't know what goes with the fried chicken gravy.
Speaker 5 (28:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Well that's the thing is like I'm trying to figure out.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
What like what Thanksgivings about to be cooked?
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Yo?
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Thanksgiving about Yo? This is you reading my mind, Brouse.
I was just thinking about that ship just now.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
I was like, so so when you think about and
then you and what they're growing up to is going
is making it even more to where they cooked.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
So what they like they see the baddies, you got
the you got the aunties out here and not acting
like like they showing them something for them.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Like oh yeah, they showing them that they act out too.
So now they're like, oh that's.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
What That's how I act when I got a man
all out. So now hey, they it's cooked. It's cooked
for the young boys.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
I'm gonna tell you what's gonna be cooked in like
ten to fifteen years. Family reunions and holidays are going
to be cooked in about ten to fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
That's already that's already cooked. Yeah, I mean family unions
are far in few Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Ship class reunions are far and few between nowadays. Man,
I had one, and that's.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Got some social media, y'all. Like away class reunions, you
can see what.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Everybody doing anyway exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
On Facebook and Instagram. You used to being in that
beable to see that. You had to wait until.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
The reunion, like oh yeah, you doing that.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Then you'd be like, oh soldier over there, Oh yeah,
she got seven more kids.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Yeah he got five more.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Kids, right exactly.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Back then, you walking like, oh, want my cousin to
his ten year reunion?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
They had it, uh Walkings Glenn Parks. I went. I
was like, oh yeah, y'all had some things in here.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
D you look at it face like oh no, yeah, yeah,
we got I think I was coming up. I think
I got a message saying I was October twenty years reunion.
Speaker 4 (30:46):
Okay, wow wow yeah. So I mean yeah, man, I
mean you talk all that now, but it's like the
same type of ship and problems we deal with the
same things they're gonna deal with when they get old too. Man,
it matters have somebody, right and that could be a friend,
it could even be a family member, but you know,
having someone it matters. Like even when I when I
(31:09):
banked and I was doing banking, and I was in
a branch and I was in one of the older
communities cultural right outside that, like the you know, the
newer parts of Silver Springs. Some of these people been
in their houses and been lived in that community for
forty fifty some of them even sixty years. To see
some of the old couples come in and whatever. They
they depend on each other, man, you know, and then
when one of them dies, it's kind of like you
(31:31):
see a part of them sort of leave when that
person dies. And at that point it's like I got
to refigure life out now because this person that had
with me for forty fifty years is now gone. So
that portion of it of the human connection is a
little bit discouraging that they don't want to do that
part of human connection anymore. And that's that's disappointing, you know.
(31:51):
But the younger generation is always going to be like that. Man.
I think at some point in time, we probably would
like that, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
I think, but I think a lot of good stuff
was passed down from older than us to you.
Speaker 5 (32:04):
Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, So like a lot of you have some girls
in it and out of cook, but then you got
some girl a lot of girls that do not to cook. Yeah,
age when you go further down, you're looking at the
girls as early thirties, right, so mid thirties and early thirties,
a lot of.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Them are not a cook. Yeah, you see you see
them on social media. Yeah, and then some of them
passing over to.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Where Cardi b I don't cook, I don't clean, cat
me show you how I got this ring?
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, some of them don't got that though.
Speaker 5 (32:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Right, I'm want to be.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Saying I find out y'all done got Yeah, y'all just
be running through you got it?
Speaker 5 (32:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (32:43):
Yeah, Yeah, that's the truth, man, It is, it is.
It's marriage has always been the challenge. It's just a
matter of I think as a generation's move on, people have,
like you said, what are you willing to deal with?
And what are you not willing to deal with? There's
been a lot of horror stories from our parents' generation
our brothers, older brother and sisters generations, our generations that
have sort of turned them off the things like, well,
(33:04):
I'm not dealing with that, right and I guess it's
just a matter of like I'm not even going to try.
And that's what I think I see more so for
the main thing, because like, you know, I'm cool right
now doing what it is, and I'm doing right now
and I'm good with that for the foreseeable future. I
don't really see a need for me to change, you
know so, But there's always a shift, man, and the
(33:24):
generations things that happen, there's always a shift within the generations.
The same shit's gonna happen to them what happened to us,
to our oldest brothers and sisters generations, to our parents' generations.
All that things are going to sort of shift, man. Eventually,
there will things that people will sort of fall into
place with what it is that they're meant to be
and not necessarily what they thought they were going to be,
(33:44):
you know so, I mean, I do know that the
marriage rate is dropping. Can't we can't deny that, you know,
less and less people are getting married nowadays, and then
I'm staying married as long as they used to now,
So that's all a part of the game. Yeah, So
what are you willing to deal with? And what are
you not willing to deal with? And our grandmother's willing
(34:06):
to deal with a whole bunch of stuff, and grandfather's
the same, our older brothers and sisters. Maybe a little
bit less us, a little bit less in them less
than us.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yeah, I don't think I got grandmother. They they didn't.
They probably was just heavy with going home. Look, they
were still a home so food meal. They ain't even
care about that now, iuse clean cooked meal.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
That was it.
Speaker 4 (34:28):
Things were simpler back then. But your grandmother and more
likely than I, didn't have to work most time, and
if she did, even if she did, she was still
home first, and she still got all that other stuff done,
you know what I'm saying. But the one thing I
could tell you, though, what our grandmothers didn't have to
worry about, was making sure that they had enough groceries
in the damn house to make sure that they could
(34:49):
eat for the most part if they could afford it right,
or being able to make sure that the house could
be kept tidy and not be stressed about things and
everything else. Why don't we think your grandfather had to
do is go out there and make the bacon and
bring home, you know, and take care of the manly
ship around the house, make sure the grass cut house
got things got to get fixed up around the house.
Just get done. It was a simpler time back then, man.
(35:12):
Now it's ship a lot more complicated now than what
it was back then. Man, that's why marriage is harder,
because ship is a lot more complicated. You know, all
around both both parents are working nowadays.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
We also learned this a new word, boundaries.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
I think that that's also I think that also then
messed up, well not messed up, but that also then
played the part. And yeah, the family reunion section or whatever.
People people to be around their uncles, touching the older girls,
all the little girls that you know, your your uncle
funny watching them around.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
We ain't gonna be doing that no more. We ain't
going to that event. We are not.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
That being everybody business and don't really know how to
say stuff out of her mouth. Just say whatever you know,
But you know, it's stuff like that, drama and stuff happens,
disputes and stuff happened, and it's like instead of you
being like, Okay, let me fix this dispute and make
sure that we're cool. It's like, nah, we good. I'm
good off that, and I don't have to come back
to one of these again, be for real, for real,
(36:15):
me my husband and my kids or me and my
wife and my kids are cool on coming back to
any one of these reunions again. I'm y'all, y'all be
safe and that's it. Yeah, So what are you willing
to deal with? What are you not willing to deal with? Boundaries?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, certain things going different, Like nah, I ain't gonna
have that energy around me. Yeah, you know what I'm saying,
Like people ask me about their relationship, but I don't
even told you them no more.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Like what like, nah, I I ain't playing that game.
Too old for that game.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Yeah, real talk, real talk, man, That's yeah, that's that's
really what it is. And I get it. Yeah, it's
people I know that don't talk to their parents no
more because of stuff. Those boundaries we talked about. You
know what I'm saying, I'm like, I'm good because you know,
I recognize this is a problem and I don't want
that problem anymore.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
So, yeah, you don't want your kids growing up seeing
seeing that, that's how, that's how things could be treated
around here. Yeah, like we you're gonna let your kids
see your grandparents disrespect you.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
Yeah, as a grown man, as a.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Girl, baby girl, Hey, that's how. Is that how you're
gonna treat me when I get older? Make sure I
feel it and you ain't gonna treat me like that.
Speaker 5 (37:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
So hey, And that's one of the things that it is. Yeah,
that's one of the things I was telling my daughter.
I was like, you know, my my baby girl, I
was telling her. I was like, you know what, you
can have every relationship you want to have with everybody
outside of what I don't have a relationship with. That's
when you do determine your relationship with them. I'm not
(37:52):
gonna get in the way of that.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I said. My relationship with them is this right here.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
You ain't gonna hear it, and I ain't gonna make
you try to felt away because I feel this way.
This is my feelings. So you determine your own feelings
what's going on right there, and that's on you. You
love them, and you love them, they cross you, you
feel away with them, that's gonna be on you. If
they don't, hey, that's more power to you and their
(38:18):
relationship right there.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
But over here, Yeah, we're gonna go with the respect.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
I respect you, you respect me, You don't respect me,
I don't respect you.
Speaker 4 (38:29):
Yeah, yeah, that is. That is.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
You know a lot of old folks they think they
go to where the old school?
Speaker 5 (38:37):
Old school?
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Are you supposed to just respect me.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
Because I'm because I.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Respect me because I'm an elder.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
If you showing disrespect and I don't like, I don't
lose myself into it. But we're not going to cross
this line no more.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Yeah, a lot of.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
Cross Like I don't have a certain respect for you
up to a point, and when once we get past
that point, then that's when it comes a problem. And
I'm not going just just because yeah you're older, I'm
a Yes, I do have a certain amount of respect
for you, but you've crossed that point of where disrespect.
Now we're not. We're not having that, you know what
I'm saying. And I do think that other generations kind
(39:15):
of do have that part of it kind of twisted
up the feelers though we've we've lost something else, like
now we've gained something actually because if y'all would have
had some of that ship in place beforehand, shit wouldn't
have been a toxic for real.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Yeah right, yeah, you saying that right there, if you
try to be having those conversations about being toxic, and
that'll be one to hear.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
What.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Yeah, okay, it's cool, y'all don't see it, we see it. Yeah,
so hey, I don't be one it around. Yeah, keep
it cool, keep it light, and I keep it I
keep it sure and respectful.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Yeah right, well we are at the end.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
Yep, oh quick, a baby my whole crump.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I said, so my daughter's mother was talking about.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah, I want you to put eyes on them so
you can get a feel for In my mind, I.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Was like you, I'm trying to make me dead. Now
you should.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Years ago?
Speaker 3 (40:18):
Yeah right, I want eyes, my eyes on my daughter
eighteen years ago.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
Eighteen right, exactly right.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
I said, because y'all yell or some mool and ship. Yeah,
let this little nigga live with y'all.
Speaker 6 (40:34):
Right, y'all, mocket nah, I told her. I told him
a card, I said, it's left. I ain't the one
you looking at me like, I said, Look, I'm not
not that. I don't you I said, but hey, I'm
gonna let you know. I don't know what he'd be on.
I kind of know I am him. I will come
(40:58):
up there to be a problem exactly, I said. So
she never call on my phone telling me it's a problem. Yeah, no,
I will be I said. I drove from Virginia to
Ohio when she was born.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
I said, I will make that try, you know, to
make sure she is straightened out exactly. Like he was like, like,
I said, look, just get it together. And I'm rooting
for you. Yeah, I said, I want to let you know.
I said, you know, black man and black man, I'm
rooting for you. I hope you get it together. I said,
and it's gonna it's not gonna be no cakewalk, but
(41:31):
you think it is.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
I said, let's make sure we know. Yeah, and I'm
probably the crazy one out of us.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Oh yeah, was like, I have a safe flight in look.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
But yeah, it was nice. It was nice.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
It was nice saying that I got some pictures or whatever.
And the baby, the oldest to the baby, Hey, the baby.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
Walking, Yeah, wow, how old is he again?
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Seven months?
Speaker 4 (42:03):
He walking? Already? Got they Yeah, that's crazy, man, My
son wasn't walking till after he was one man for real,
like walking good walking.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Into about six seven step.
Speaker 5 (42:16):
Wow, like look, we wasn't ready.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
We ain't ready that that bat all over the room
that you're being too everything?
Speaker 4 (42:28):
Oh yeah, what's taking on two feet? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
He and every he was already starting to get all
over the runk.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
He really had a crawl. He really just stood up,
scooter at the places or whatever. He was standing up,
take a step, fall down, staying back up, take a step,
fall back down, staying move a little bit.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Get you like y? I get now about another month
or he straight full.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Walking twenty thirty steps.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
Yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 4 (43:01):
That's crazy, man, seven months My son wasn't doing that
to like he was like maybe ten eleven months old,
taking a few steps here and there. You know. So
once they get on two feet and they get moving, lookout, man,
look out. I know it's been a while, but you know.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah, forget I't forget.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Oh man, Yeah that's what's up. Good good stuff, good stuff.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
But thank you for listening, Thank you for supporting. Like share,
subscribe to the Vult Classic Music Review.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Hey, support is free, free just.
Speaker 7 (43:35):
Share that episode. Yeah, we love for you to listen
to it. And we love the feedback and I have
some supporters. I appreciate y'all be having. It's about twenty
y'all that be in my d M talking about he yo,
what an episode dropping? I had a bad jump on
a live so yo.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
When the new when you're dropping a new episode, I
was like, who the hell's look? I was like, I
don't even know right, I said, oh, he must, I said,
oh no, I said, man, hey, it's coming, it's coming in.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
You know, you know somebody listening, sir.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
Indeed, you know you know it ain't nobody from Booie,
but right, y'all want to be in there the year
were you bell cuts all y'all niggas out.
Speaker 5 (44:23):
Exactly exactly crazy.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
But you know, we appreciate y'all.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
You know, magnify the blessings over the disappointments, and we.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Are thank you for listening to the Raw Sex Podcast.
Tune in next time for more to explore
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