Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Ladies and gentlemen live from the man to lay day.
Put your hands together for poor, poor time.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
I'm happy to be here doing comedy. Comedy is my
primary job. I got other hustles. You know what I'm saying.
I sell baby clothes in front of abortion clinics. Uh,
all of dudes be mad than a moth. Like ladies,
(01:09):
I got the little T shirts made. They're like, Mama.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
We could make it. Oh, look at some of the girls.
They reminiscing. I should have kept my baby. It's too
(01:33):
lady and smoothie. Now, motherfucker, let me tell you that.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I want to let all of the sensitive people know
you picked the wrong fucking show. All I got is wraw,
hurtful shit. I want to say, what's up to all
the fat bitches who ride dick with T shirts on?
(02:10):
You ever see you ever see them fat bitches come
out the shower.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
It's the fastest day. I don't run. Man, damn bitch,
you could do that. You could get a shape.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Mother.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Clap your hands. If you ever fuck the fat bitch
with regular people legs. You've seen them before. They look
awful when they walk neaked to the bathroom. He'd be
(02:48):
like Oh my god, I just fucked the wisdom tooth.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
What the fuck? Hey, bring me a town with your
Tasmanian bill are. Oh boy?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Speaking of fucking, I mean the first time I had
sex using a condom, I fucked it up so bad.
You know the way a rubber is shaped, they expect
you to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
I blew it. Listen.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I put the rubber all the way on. I ain't
leave no room in the front. I nutted in me
all that shit bag back in there. I could feel
(03:51):
it down. I told old girl. I was like, bitch,
I think I'm gonna be pregnant. Bit banner, get your papers.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
In the mail. Bit anyway, fuck it.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I moved from Chicago, Illinois, God damn it, to Los Angeles, California,
and they got a lot of different shit out there
in LA. They first of all, all the TV celebrities.
You get to know them because you live around them.
I was at a pool party at Magic johnson crib
(04:31):
the other day. Magic got out the pool with a
big ass cut on his leg, talking about, come on, y'all, Hey, nigga,
(04:54):
gonna have to put some more chlorine in that motherfucker.
You better boil that one right there. I will swim
with the sharks. Boy, I fuck with you in that water.
Ain't nobody even eat none of them hot dogs? Your
wife's maid and they say she got her nails done today.
(05:16):
Anyway out there in La it's they got a lot
of those corrective surgeries, ladies. I don't give a fuck.
What's wrong with yo body? They got some type of
surgery out there to fix it. How many of you
ladies heard, uh, vaginal rejuvenation surgery. See some of the
ladies heard of it. Lot of y'all don't know who
(05:37):
the fuck that is. Let me explain it to you.
The vaginal rejuvenation surgery is a procedure for women who
have hustled. They pussies to the point. Yeah, well when
they open their legs, look like two McDonald's catch up
(06:02):
package sitting on top of that mother. It's for high
mileage pussy. You've seen them before. Ray it was one
girl open her legs. I was like this bitch to
unleash the.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Cracking on me. Got done it.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Who had a tug of war with your puzzy baby?
Whatever SUPs to look like a bat with timbalings on?
Speaker 3 (06:24):
I ain't.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
But don't worry about the ladies. They got a surgery
for that, or the doctor cut off all that extra
blue out meat. They fold it up real good and
put some memory for m up in there. My make
(06:48):
it look like it used to look before your uncle
start babysitting.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Got damn, hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Hey, you can't beginning to heal until you talk about it. Okay,
I know what you've been through. Damn, your mama didn't
even believe. Don't you talk about my brother like that?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Fucked me?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
A lot of you ladies get that.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
That.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
What's the most I think the most common surgery is
when you ladies go get your tubes tied. Yeah, yeah,
get your tubes tied. A lot of what's the what's
the what's the medical term for that?
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Ship?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Tub blackaition. Some people still don't know what the fuck
I'm talking about. Let me explain it to you.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Two.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Blagation is a procedure.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Created for women who refuse to give up raw dick.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
You could just make people wear condoms, you know, but
some girls be like, fuck d sh, I want to
get skeeded in. Some girls like to stand over the
bed and be like, oh, it's a lot coming out. Yeah,
you was happy to see me. I just got out
(08:15):
of jail. Bitch, I don't know you. In the tube lucation,
the doctor normally has his little surgical knife where he
make a little incision under there to get to the tubes.
But like I say, some of you ladies are so
blue out that motherfucker. Look he throw the knife across
(08:35):
the room over this elbow, his way up in that
motherfucker like, oh, bitch, let me get this some funky
ad and on nobody. That got man my secretary thirty
dollars to get the fuck out of the bad.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
See.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Some of the sensitive ladies didn't like that. God damn it.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I don't know why the fuck you ain't keeping it real.
God damn some of you ladies that had so many abortions,
it's illegal for you to get another one. As soon
as you walk into the clinic, the doctor be like, hey, bitch,
go round back. Bitch, won't get me. Shut the fuck
down out here. Got in to the back done, Bitch.
(09:21):
You come on in, Bitch, you know I got damned
You know where the ship at. Bitch, you've been there
four times. Set your funk head down. I got a
two black agent to do hope. He leaguing, Oh, come on,
don't move, don't don't move, give me that little motherfuck
(09:45):
jump funk head on ibouty here my secretary thirty dollars nothing.
Speaker 7 (09:50):
The other.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Oh boy, I want you to know if you're woman
is on section eight that bitch should never have to
borrow more than sixty five dollars.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
For her rent.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Some of you ladies think you slick than a motherfucker
my old section eight broad, I'm short two hundred on
my bit two on sex and eight. I know I
don't ever try to play me like that. I'll call
the office on your head, uh telling motherfuckers you sell
candy and do hair in your daughter room that you
(10:31):
put about this motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Let me ask you another question.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
If your baby mama got multiple kids by multiple guys,
are you obligated to buy their mother kids shit for Christmas?
Because I don't think it's fair. God dammit, you know
I show up with shit for my job. But if
you ain't go about number hold on there know about
number not.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
I'm a die that's what you was going do, bitch.
Speaker 8 (11:01):
They ain't like you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I always show up with nice ship for my child.
It'd be awkward looking at them other kids.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Now, I'm joy your daddy didn't come through shouting, or daddy.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
He lost some bubble gum pop that was your life?
How fuck y'all? How many of you ladies out there
ain't never been nobody real woman?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You never thought of that?
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Did?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Clap your hands?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
If you are habitual side bitch, clap you ain't never
gotten fucked in a house with pictures of nobody family
in there. You always gotta be quiet when the nigga
answer the phone, Hello, Hello, a cancer came back and remission.
(12:09):
It's all yeah, some of these ladies.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Are like that nigga's talking about me.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I want to let all you side girls know that
side women make side children.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It's your child, a side child, you know, side child's
never achieving life. Even when the daddy come pick them
up and take them to the family reunion. They don't
know nobody. They be on the trees. Grandmama be like
(12:46):
going over there and play with the real kids. It's okay,
it's okay. Yeah, that's the little boy he had about
that bitch. Hey, baby, one of yours, grandmama.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
See, this is what happened in life.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
A lot of you ladies don't know this shit I'm
talking about cause your mama ran your daddy away before
he could give you the game. That's why people like
me are in this world. Right now, what I'm gonna
do is break down the scale of looks one through ten,
so ladies, you can find out who the fuck you are, because.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
A lot of ladies don't know. Goddamnit.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Now, we gonna start at five, because if you under five,
you ain't worth talking about any motherfucker. Wait, God put
you on punishment for life. If you're under five, bitch,
you gonna have to work forever. Godde I ain't saying
this shit to be mean. I do research on my jokes.
(13:49):
I catch the bus on weekends just to see all
the ladies on public transportation. I stood up on the
bus a couple of weeks ago. I was excuse me, Yeah,
but all you bitches look like you're supposed to be
on this bus. This is not a coincidence that's going on. Man. Ladies,
(14:13):
if you were five, that means you made it. You
was almost ugly, motherfucker. Your mama would have had one
more Hennessy while she was pregnant with your ass, you
will be a welcome to Walmart?
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Can I help you? Motherfucker?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
We're gonna go to six now. A six, it's basically
a five would make up on this bitch, wash your face,
A five will appear. I guarantee you that them that
to come out the bathroom, you'd be like, damn, bitch,
you a transformer. Goddamn bring your to sceptor cod as
(14:55):
the fuck on in there. Let me get this over.
A seven. That that's starting to get more respectable fellas tonight.
If you out with a seven, that's cool long as
you don't brag or act cocky and no shit, you
can't be out with no seven like you show. This
is my lady. You know this bitch you talking about
(15:17):
right here? Fuck it? Let me buy both of y'all
a drink. Hook thing the mother fucker up right there.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
Now.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Eight that's a cute girl. If you if you're an eight,
you cute. It's just what makes you an eight. Eight
is a cute girl with a lot of struggle in
her life, Like you still pay a cotton note on
a ninety nine four tours or some shit.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Now, I only owe twenty five hundred more on this mother.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You know this bitch, you gonna need to borrow something
I could tell all right now, your neighborhood can make
you an eight, Ladies, if it's a lot of beauty
supplies around your house, a lot of loose dogs in
your neighborhood, and that could keep you at eight nine nine,
(16:08):
that's starting to get you a bad motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
You're nine.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
It's just a lot of women overachieving clean nine. If
you are nine and you know it, clap your hand now,
look at the people next to you. That's the truth
you're staring at right now. I did the show a
couple of weeks ago. This bitch clapped to nine. The
(16:32):
girl next door was like, bitch, your number upside down?
You a sex got damn you better not watch your
faith talking about you a nine. But I see it's
couples in this motherfucker the night niggas down here.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
With the girl that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
It's hard to make it in America in a relationship
because a lot of women get their information about relationships
by watching television, watching Oprah Winfrey bitter and I'm glad
Oprah is off TV. She gave you out so much
bad information say, if your man cheat on you, he
don't love you. The fuck Oprah be hating because she
(17:15):
a four.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
I don't give a fuck. Have you ever seen Oprah
without that makeup? On Oprah? As far as Whittaker, Oprah
is the king of Scotland.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
God damn it, I said it. She ain't gonna put
me on her show anyway. I'm a real nigga.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Oh fuck. Have you ever seen Oprah Winfrey's feet?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
You know she normally fly private jet, but one day
she was on the plane with me and it was
hot outside. Bitch had on some flip floppers. You ever
see google Oprah's feet? Damn it, this bitch feet woe out.
I couldn't help, but I had to say something. You know,
you be trying not to stay shit. I was a bitch.
(18:06):
You got some feet on your shoes. You should put
your shoes on your feet. You could say the shoes
can't do nothing with them feet Right there now, Oprah
Winfrey got y'all thinking that your man, if he cheat,
(18:27):
he don't love you. All them bullshit experts, we lit ladies,
and I want you to know we're different than y'all.
Your man care about you got Demi. Every man in
here want to tell you the truth. Don't you hate
the lot of the woman you love? Fellas, that's fucked
up that man want to keep it real and be like,
look at your baby, let me tell you what's really
going on you, my woman. I love you, got Demi.
(18:50):
That's why I bring my check home and let you
handle shit. I love you, I love our baby, I
love the baby you came with. I'm trying to make
this last forever, babybody. But I gotta fuck these holes,
bab I can't stop fucking the hole and women. You
(19:18):
should never cheat. That's an abomination that is unforgivable. God, Davin,
you know we can't handle that shit when y'all cheating.
You know why. I'm gonna tell you why, ladies, Because
you go out and you fuck people you really like.
You know what I'm saying. I would never do you
(19:38):
like that. I can't stand in the business. I fuck
behurr you back. They make that drive back home to
you that much better? IAID why I can't. I can't
wait to get home and see my girl.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
What are you funker? Business out of there? I'm gonna
wash my face and hug the fuck out with my
woman when I at out.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, but ladies, you leave us for people, you can
potentially leave us for.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Y'all. You know what they do.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
They even call they little booty called make sure he
made it home?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Okay, that's what did you get home?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Yeah, I had a good time. I'll see you, lady.
That's some bulls I have some girl called me talking about.
I just want you to know I made it home, Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I was a bitch. I am with the woman I
love right now.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Don't you ever interrupt our union with this bullshit. I'll
see you later. These new domestic abuse laws are making
(20:57):
it very difficult to discipline your woman.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
The police like to interfere with the natural course of
a relationship. I don't like that shit. They made those
laws because some of you guys take it too far.
Some of you guys, let me tell you something. You
should never close fish your woman. That's some cowardly shit
right there. Always open end your woman. And ladies, this
(21:24):
is not a slap. He just rebooting the system, that's all.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
They're doing.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Same thing you do to the TV to make it worry.
Oh there, you bitch, you antenna straight now. They got
laws now to protect the women. Ladies, call the fellas.
If the police come to your house after some domestic
disturbance and your woman has any sign of injuries, you
(21:54):
are going to jail. That's the law nationwide. But they
had another part to it, Fellas. If there's a domestic
disturbance and both of yards are injured, that means both
of y'all going to jail.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
So if the police knocking on the door, fellas, you
then fucked up your girl.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I look like this. You got to scratch the shit
out just ye'n got it?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Ye? No way, y'all can talk about it in the
squad car together. Guy, barn, you should have cooked bitch.
You know what the fuck it is. Listen, ladies, I
want you to know if you are over thirty five
(22:42):
and you ain't got nobody, I want you to know
that your way ain't working.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
It's time to try something new.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Okay, you ain't got but eighty nine good years of
pussy left.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
You know they passing the law you can't sell puss.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
It is over forty five years age no more. The
milk companies was complaining it. They're like why they got
why we gotta take our full shit off the shelf,
and they don't.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Now this is serious, though, ladies.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You got to do something to try to capitalize off
your last little decade of decent pussy. In other countries,
selling pussy is not looked at as a bad thing.
If you ever go to like Amsterdam, they sell pussy
and weed like it ain't nothing. But in America, y'all
sell pussy. You just do it in your own little
(23:40):
slick way. Let me tell you something, ladies. If a
dude take you out to dinner and a movie and
you fuck him after that, that is an indirect invoice
on you pussy. You need to start just fucking for
money for a couple of years. Got ther don't make
no decision us to have got all that mileage on
(24:01):
it and you owe twenty five hundred on a credit
card for four years under Some of the ladies like,
I never thought of that. Don't be mad at me,
because I'm a happy motherfucker. My daughter just turned eighteen
years old last month, I wrote, I wrote her mama
(24:22):
her last child support checks. She doing bad? Who Mama,
this is the worst she ever been. So I gave
her extra fifty dollars. Doesn't feel good to know that bitch.
You gotta make that last val forgot. Damn Yeah, she's
(24:44):
starving now with my daughter. She eighteen and my daughter
best friend is I was so eighteen, and I'm just
keeping the one hundred. This little bit bad than a mamafucker.
I don't give a fuck of y'all judge me, ladies,
what I'm supposed to fuck? Women my age? Are you
women who need to be vaginantly rejuvenated. I'm tired of
(25:06):
girls getting naked and looking at shit like this. You
know what I'm talking about. Fella me, bitch, got a
man hole under that necklace, jake somebody with a hard
hat climbing out your pussy. Bright, fuck that shit. Eighteen
is the legal age. I'll be at that little girl.
(25:28):
I'm like, I'm playing with her, knowing I ain't. I'll
be like, hey, you gonna take me.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
On a problem with you?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Ah, climb be on that problem, jailing like a buck.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
When rum room?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What if I rent one room and have my daughter
in another bed with some dude.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Hey, that's bonding right there, got dumb ladies.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
If a dude eat your pussy and put a rubber
right after that. That means he don't want his dick
to go through what his mouth just did. O't fuck y'all.
(26:19):
Y'all don't know I'm being nice. I got way more
fucked up jokes than your hearing. Let me show you
how the show could be going. Man, I got some
real fucked up jokes.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Check this out.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I was over this girl house right. She had an
old fucked up attitude. This she go h Cory yr
dictates nastye. I was like, I just got it out jazz. Yeah,
ain't nothing wrong with me. You just make bad decisions.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Got damn.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
You don't have to change your diet. You're gonna do
shit like that.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Man, start a lot of apple saucers. This is the
way I think. This is the way we used to
do it around my house. We used to stick in
the fire.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
God damn it.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I was auditioned for that little puts As show on
MTV Call Your Mama. They kicked me out, told me
my jokes were too vulgar cause I ain't got that
cake ass shit. I was doing straight hood shit. I
was in that mother going on your mama. Panty's so nasty.
It looked like hot wing paper round. I was like,
(27:41):
get him out of here. I was like, hey, fuck
y'all here, man, this little puts the ass show. Oh boy,
Like I said, I love to see these couples try
to make it. That should be so funny when I
see you couples hang in there, it's a fucking tragedy.
(28:03):
I want you to know all you nice guys will
continue to finish last just scary ass getting your girl
approval on everything. You're too nice and she evils. She
don't want you. She just ain't got nothing else going
for it.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Right now? How many times you gonna keep checking on her?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
You bugging the bitch? You okay, bab you want something
to drink? Uh huh oh, we don't get.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
You lattle bit along.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Then some of you nice guys been with your girl
over a year and you still be asking for bussy.
What the fuck is that? Which I would be with
you that long? And as for bussy, got different date?
Rape is an opinion, I said, I got demmit, I
(28:59):
would be biting bitch. This is our pudson. Then don't
give a fuck how you feel you got a job
to do.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Mother fucker about you an outfit bitch? No I'm just fucking.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Hey, you nice guys, you gotta try something new to you.
I know you don't believe me, but your woman has
a Jeane inside her body when she needs to be ravaged.
Your woman won't drama in her life. She just ain't
gonna tell you that. But you got to shake up sometime.
What you're gonna do? Oh nice, motherfucker. We we in
Vegas got denin when you're gonna leave a place tonight,
(29:40):
but you're gonna go home and get nagked and hope
it happened.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Fucking week. Mother fucking after the show.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
You gotta try something new if you want to say
your relationship got different. When this is over, I want
you fellas to take your girl to the alley and
fuck her. The next time you argue, be like, shut up, alley, bitch, shit.
I mean you'll see you gonna. I like that. Let's
(30:12):
play the alley game some more. I have fun in life.
I try new ship this this fifty year old girl.
I was fucking with what she called me talking about
she's pregnant. I was like that baby ain't gonna make it.
(30:34):
I snuck up behind her the next week.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
I was like a score it.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Don't you let me be in bed with your woman
behind her sleep in the back of her head's thanks.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Man, man, baby, what you had on a skull cap
with a curl bag under that? Motherfucker? Would you'll get
in a motorcycle helme in pens? What the fuck you did?
Speaker 2 (31:08):
I want all you ladies who mad at me, I
want you to just step back for a second and realize,
be honest with yourself. You are upset with me because
my show is a reflection of your life and you
hate yourself. But it don't stop me. Got denit. You
(31:28):
see all these women in here, I'm gonna get some
buzzy after the show.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I dammit, every woman in here.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I ain't got a hotel room tonight and I can
help them. And on top of that, I ain't piggy got.
All I need is a female with a heartbeat. And
the only reason you need a heartbeat is because it's
illegal if you ain't got one. Found that out the
(31:55):
hard way. Got done mad this little quiet girl, she
was a cold piece. I wish I could show you,
ladies your faces. You look like I've been fucking you
for years. You blamed it on the dude before me.
(32:16):
Now you're about to blame me. What These women ain't
never happy, and they'll put you in a bune. My
brother owe forty thousand dollars and Child's Boy, and I
owe sixty.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Thousand dollars in Child's Boy. How the fuck we owe
one hundred thousand dollars to some.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Holes who catch the bus? What it's a cold ass game.
He's bitches be on the bus on the weekend. Motherfucker
talk about we owe them a hundred jeez. Oh shit,
(33:01):
getting drunk is a beautiful thing, boo, if that's right.
If you drunk out there, raise your drink. Some motherfucker
scared to raise their drink because I know you done
snuff your drink in the motherfucker have me rolling with that.
Little boys just security they got at the front door.
Now you ain't got nothing, Okay, go ahead, just puss
(33:22):
the ass out of here, motherfucker. Oh shit, man, let
me say some nice shits and some pissing off some
of the ladies. I don't want you all to be
mad at me after the the bitch jump on me
after the show.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
Are you mad because I said you should sell some puzzy?
Got Damn?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I spent on that, and don't price your pussy out
the game. You need to sell your pussy according to
the neighborhood you live in.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
I never the.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Cause it's a lot of check for cash places around
your house. You should never get more than forty dollars
for your busy God damn. That's I'm a bullshit motherfucker too.
God damner, ladies. When I'm at your house, I'm trying
to get in and out. I'm not trying to spend
a lot of time over there. This one girl got
(34:20):
mad at me, God damn, and she was taking too
long with the towels, so I wipe my dick off
of the baby coat. I fucked this little started jacket out,
God damn, right on the Miami Dolphin.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
God damn. I want all of the big.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Girls to know that I know it's summer time, but
if you did not prepare your body for the summer,
don't make the rest of us suffer by wearing all
these revealing ass clothes.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
This one girl.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
And let me tell you something, ladies, if you a
real big motherfucker, you can't wear them tank tops. Got
dammit and let your arms out. Some of you bitch's
arms look like them breakfast biscuits in the can when
you first bust them over.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I'm like, look at your bitch. You don't need to
wear a cake with that outfit.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
And I want you to know wherever skin touch and rub,
that's a stinky area. That's why I don't date women
with big titties in the summertime, got dammit, because right
up under theres always smell like milk carton juice. I
don't give a fuck how much baby powder you douse
on that bullshit down there. It ain't getting to the
(35:45):
area that it needs to be in. And women stop
complaining about dudes and having smelly balls.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Let me explain something to you.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
The only way you gonna get somebody who don't have
smelly balls is if you make him boil his ass
in the tub for an hour.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
Then you got to have four.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Of his friends carry him over to the bed, because
if he walked to the bed, them nuts gonna hit
that leg by twelve.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Times and be right back on tied.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
The only way you gonna get a dude who balls
don't smell is if you get a nude in a wheelchair,
Cause every motherfucker who walked down these stairs balls lit
like a motherfucker. That's fucked up. This is all elementary education.
(36:45):
I had this girl break up with me. It was
fucked up. She called me cheeking. That's what y'all always
leave for. So she started fucking with this girl that
looked like me and was built like me. So I
knew she was missing me. Go so I wanted her back.
(37:06):
So I wind up fucking the girl that looked like
me and was built like me. Fuck that shit up.
Then the girl that looked like me and was built
like me really tried to be with me. I was like, bitch,
I don't want me if she don't want me. A
whole lot of groups of women in it. It looked
(37:27):
good after four fine women in a row right there.
How y'all doing, y'all cool? All your amateur players, watch
how I do this. Here's a group of women.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Listen. Whenever it's a group of women, you never picked one.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Girl out the group and try to holler at her
cause sheit fuck around, tell you she got a boyfriend
or something. Then you can't fuck with the rest of
them just because you try to talk to her first.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
You know what I'm saying. That's how women, do you know,
I mean, nah, that's the bitch. You want it right there?
What the fuck do was I fucking boy?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
Whenever it's a group of women, always approach and speak
to all the women, keep them all engaged in the conversation.
God damn, and shit fucking buy them all a drink
because the whole gonna show herself. She gonna try to
blend in with the other girls, but they always get
(38:24):
theyself away.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
They do something to let you know. Yeah, that's the
winner right there.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Man, ladies, if you didn't have more than five dicks
put in you this year, you're a lousy bitch.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Fucking get mad.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
Fuck some of you bitches was lousy bitches January third.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Got damn.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I like the confident women that's sitting in the here,
like this motherfucker stupid girl bitch is in here taking
me seriously, got damnit. And you ain't no allows you bitch,
don't give a fuck what you do said bullshit. They
teach you at church. Right Hey, if your reverend get
a girl pregnant, do the church pay his child's boy,
(39:20):
Because this might be the wrong business, this comedy shit.
You might have me a baby in the name of
Jesus gotten dimmer. Oh that's fucked up. Oh, boys, A
lot of ladies got their arms crossed in this motherfucker.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
I know what you're thinking. It's been said to me before.
Speaker 6 (39:45):
You.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
My girl can't stand me. God damn it. I'm really
I'm a victim of y'all. Ladies be fucking with guys
like me and you know we ain't shit. Then you
break up with us later on in life. Why because
we ain't shit? That ain't fitter me. This girl left
me talking about Corey. I can't do it no more.
You ain't shit. I was like, bitch, you know I
(40:07):
want shit today. You brought me to your house. Your daughter,
Piggy Bank ain't just disappear, bit you.
Speaker 7 (40:17):
Do?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
You know what the fuck I'm about. If you let
a dude fuck you over for years, you are without guidance.
Now you need to stop blaming us for all the
fucked up shit. I watched these little puss sad shows
on TV like Maury. They never asked the bitch them
(40:39):
fucking questions about who she been fucking got damning ladies,
I know y'all fuck a lot got demmit, you motherfucker
does the high mileage pussy.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
Let's get back to that shit. Did you know that?
Demmit on Judgment Day it's gonna be a whole line.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
You didn't think about that, did It was gonna be
a line for women who did what they were supposed
to do, and that long ass whole line. It's gonna
be a lot of bitches in the whole line questioning God, excuse.
Speaker 3 (41:16):
Me, God, I don't think I'm supposed to be in God.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Gonna be like bitch you waiting that line and wait
till I get through with your auntie them.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
Oh shit, Well, ladies, what have we learned this evening
that I ain't shit?
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I damn it, I know, But did you know my
show is set up to show you that you ain't shit?
I have failed you once again.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Got damn. I don't know what to do to save you. Motherfuckers.
That's a big motherfucker right there.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
You can't tell a lot about dudes, because you know,
we wear T shirts and we wear motherfucking jim shoes.
You don't know if we broken. Not ladies, we can
look at y'all and tell if y'all broke, then the
motherfucker tell by your purse. Your purse always give you away.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
Ladies. Hey babe, what kind of persons that you got? Got?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
A coach, said assistant coach. You got the referee version in.
This motherfucker came with a whistle, got there. Fucker got
the spotlight on this drunk motherfucker here, this drunk bit.
Speaker 9 (42:52):
You.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
All right, baby, I'm sitting here listening to you.
Speaker 10 (42:54):
I'm trying.
Speaker 9 (42:55):
I've been sitting here this whole time listening to you
with your comedy.
Speaker 11 (42:58):
I'm trying to figure out what kind of bitches you
before with.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Uh, bitches like you? Baby, right, I'm cool if.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
You was fucking with bitches like me.
Speaker 10 (43:22):
I'm from Compton, this Compton pussy, I had your ass
shutting the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
That that Compton pussy will have me barely hanging on
like that pony jail you got on, man, Dave Hull bike.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
That's cool, my ponytail barely holding on. But I bet
you that little dick you got barely holding on too.
Speaker 10 (43:58):
I bet you if if that motherfucker pop out, I
bet you.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I ain't even gonna argue with her. You can look
at her, Jenner. That's one of them girls. You go
over the house and you know you be disrespectful. You
get up and throw the rubb on her back, still
out of jewelry box and shit and wake our kids
(44:27):
up before you leave. I'm out of here.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
Bet you I was getting.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Whatever where you from?
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Baby, New Orleans comp comping look like it's New Orleans.
Like like your feet still wet at the bottom. I
bet you got a baby that was made in the
super Dome. Okay, baby, we're gonna get you a lining
(45:04):
in the front. You need a bang. Really, your fore
head look like a dodge in tripping windshield right man?
Speaker 3 (45:14):
The lights over.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
So anyway, as I wrapped this up, I want everybody
out there to know that whenever you put effort into something,
you open the door for failure. Okay, I'm Corey Hogom.
I'll catch you later. Ghetto Pocahonta, shaby cold this.
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You're saying he's sick.
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Some things are best left broken.
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We want our freedom.
Speaker 11 (52:54):
We crash this present on the earth.
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We can send him one man.
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I'm thrilled that you would think your mat by going
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Has a dream vacation.
Speaker 14 (53:07):
How what's going on?
Speaker 7 (53:11):
Buck out?
Speaker 1 (53:15):
They're three brothers raised.
Speaker 12 (53:18):
What's it gonna take to save this place? How many
book are we talking about now?
Speaker 8 (53:23):
They're on a mission to save the mission. The Three
Stooges is fun for the whole family. Come rom the
Three Stooges.
Speaker 1 (53:40):
Salmon fishing in the Yemen.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
I like this.
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Salmon fishing in the Yemen. Salmon in the middle of
the Yemen.
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Office the surprise hit of the year. Has the critics hooked.
Speaker 5 (53:54):
Your faith and fishing.
Speaker 15 (53:57):
I think this crazy enterprise might just come on.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
It's beautiful to have faith in the most ludicrous idea
salmon fishing in the Yemen.
Speaker 5 (54:10):
Excuse me, in an enchanted kingdom where anything is possible,
something funny is going on.
Speaker 7 (54:31):
The mirror mirror.
Speaker 10 (54:35):
My mother used to tell me stories about the little
people who lived under the floors.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
Said you, maybe we could be friends.
Speaker 1 (54:48):
My mother, father and I are all borrowers.
Speaker 9 (54:50):
We borrow things that we need to survive, things that
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Disney presents a Studio Ghibbli film entering the Secret world
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Three gray whales are trapped in the ice.
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That will inspire everyone.
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They need help.
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There's nothing you can do.
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There's always something you can do.
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The Winner of Heartland's truly moving.
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Picture of war.
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We need a ship that can break through the ice.
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Nothing's that simple.
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In the Arctic, people said they couldn't be saved.
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But sometimes even if you're small, you can do big things.
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Theave Miracle, inspired by the true story rated EG.
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We found your mysterious islence. It's incredible for need to
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Speaker 1 (55:38):
It takes braves, the mysterious Silent, It takes.
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Bronze coff it CoA just made it worse.
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It takes teamwork.
Speaker 3 (55:45):
Give me attention of a woman is one of the
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Tell me, do this the peg pop of love, the
journey to the Mysterious Silent, Give me account that I will.
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I probably.
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That is crazy.
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Touchdown is this guy's part?
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Way did you do that?
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We're too strong? Down.
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We need rules though using it in public though, using
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Use it when you're angry.
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Chronicle.
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Before there was Star Wars, before there was Avatar, there
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It on John Carter fights.
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Speaker 8 (57:14):
I see your Web of conspiracy has expanded unnew deep
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Speaker 15 (57:19):
Of my career, dragon soon which I will be able
to control, and it's gonna give me ultimate power.
Speaker 11 (57:26):
How because you can make a dragon do things?
Speaker 3 (57:29):
Yes, I can make it to bour people will breathe fire.
Speaker 4 (57:32):
Over the Kingdom of Morn.
Speaker 15 (57:34):
Sounds flimsy. First of all, you obviously don't know jack
shit about the prophecy.
Speaker 11 (57:39):
How do you know that it will be me who
controls the drag.
Speaker 15 (57:43):
Because I am the chosen one. Chosen one controls the dragon,
the rules. Basically, what are you laughing at?
Speaker 5 (57:55):
I was just thinking about your penis and how unusual
must look.
Speaker 15 (58:00):
It doesn't look unusual.
Speaker 2 (58:01):
How do you know it's going to work?
Speaker 4 (58:03):
Because I've tested it?
Speaker 15 (58:05):
Really and if you're vagina there's anything like my hand,
there will be no problem.
Speaker 4 (58:16):
Don't warriors arise?
Speaker 3 (58:19):
Two days before the eclipse?
Speaker 13 (58:21):
That is held me the compass so I can check
its shadow.
Speaker 3 (58:24):
What the compass? That's weird?
Speaker 16 (58:31):
It was around my neck when I slept.
Speaker 7 (58:34):
Well, where is it?
Speaker 4 (58:34):
That is?
Speaker 3 (58:35):
I don't know. I just woke up.
Speaker 13 (58:37):
Isabelle seems to gone.
Speaker 3 (58:40):
Isabelle Isabelle shit.
Speaker 13 (58:45):
That is, you didn't buy chance tell her anything about
the nature of our quest.
Speaker 16 (58:49):
Did you I may have dropped a few minor details.
Speaker 13 (58:56):
Did you tell Isabelle anything about the wonder the kind
mythical compass?
Speaker 8 (59:04):
Mm?
Speaker 3 (59:05):
God, she's run off with the compass.
Speaker 15 (59:08):
We don't know that for sure.
Speaker 4 (59:10):
Oh yeah, where is it? Where is she? All right?
Speaker 16 (59:14):
Well, it wasn't my fault. I was falling madly in
love with her. I was being dazzled by her sweet bosom.
Speaker 12 (59:20):
I was helpless, you fool.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
Without the compass? How do we find the blade of Unicorn?
And without that sword, how do we defeat Lazare.
Speaker 16 (59:29):
Maybe we can find some other way with nets or
something nets.
Speaker 5 (59:33):
Oh, that's a great plan.
Speaker 3 (59:35):
And meanwhile, Bella Donna's gonna get raped and die. We
don't know for sure she'll die. Is this a joke
to you?
Speaker 16 (59:42):
Look, I'm sorry, but I shouldn't even be here. We've
almost been killed multiple times. I will probably die on
this quest. Courtney definitely will fuck Courtney and fuck you.
Speaker 3 (59:55):
Maybe they're right everything they say about you.
Speaker 16 (59:57):
They only say that stuff because of you, because you
go out and have to pretend to be the best.
And they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot.
Everyone in the Kingdom wants to suck your dick. No
one wants to suck mine.
Speaker 13 (01:00:10):
Oh that is, you have the potential to be such
a noble warrior, but instead you just let yourself go
and everyone around you.
Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
You have no idea what it's like to be me.
Speaker 15 (01:00:23):
Being your brother is a curse.
Speaker 16 (01:00:25):
Rather be brothers with anyone else but you.
Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Oh you say nothing else for fear of what I
might do.
Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Do nothing. Now, get dressed, comb your hair. I'm going
to mold this jart.
Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
Come on, corner, come on, the better of us.
Speaker 13 (01:01:37):
We're here, Mother's josh, you importantly interesting yourself.
Speaker 4 (01:01:55):
I'm going off to find a sort of lone.
Speaker 13 (01:01:56):
Hello, I can't afford to waste any more time.
Speaker 4 (01:01:59):
Well, what a weed to do?
Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Whatever it is you do things?
Speaker 16 (01:02:07):
Well, obviously he's still upset.
Speaker 5 (01:02:21):
Oh God's courtney, how my heart lament?
Speaker 16 (01:02:24):
You've been betrayed by the sways of a beautiful woman
and fabious during this goddamn tantrums with no regards for
anyone else's feelings.
Speaker 12 (01:02:34):
He really needs to consider how.
Speaker 8 (01:02:37):
He it's that thieving Isabelle, My God's the.
Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
Balls of this woman?
Speaker 12 (01:02:46):
Do you think any of those men are boys?