Def Comedy Jam All Stars 5 Martin Lawrence And Sheryl Underwood PT 6

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yo, coming to the stage. This is a woman.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Is she gonna come out here and get crazy for y'all?

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Yo? Please, she's from Los Angeles. Give it up for
ryl Underwood. Hats on all. Ain't all the ladies out there.
I got a question for the ladies. Clap. If you

(00:26):
think this is boom, motherfucking shit.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
A motherfucker buy you one drink at the club and
he think he get to be with your ass all night.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Clap. People think that's sort ship. Ain't that bout shit
that full ship?

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Cause two drinks might get your dick sucked, but one
drink ain't gonna get your shit.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
You know know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm had to tell you got damn cause I'm a bitch.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
That not a fuck. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
I'm not a fuck because you're not what my lads
be offing so much. My I ud pick up cable channels.
Got damn, I'm cutting bess. You're fuck got shit.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Matter of fact, anybody fucking a man man besides me out.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
There, raise your hand. God damn, oh, I fuck your man.
If you let me in your house.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I'll fuck you, man, I'm telling you, don't let ladies.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Don't let her bitch in your house.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Mama, Grandma, Auntie, niece, Johae, awarness ayvon lady, don't let
her bet you in your house. Cause when you got
a fine man with a bitch trying to.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Do, get in your house and meet that motherfucker. Don't
let her bitch in.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
If you say, girl, I just want to bring rack
them brown shoes, I brow go bitch, throw.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Me in the yard and keep rolling.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Got there.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Don't let her betch your hair.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Don't let her age cause I got caught in the
bed with my best girlfriend, Peaches, my best girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
I got caught in the bed with her. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
The bitch gonna get mad at me talking about sir,
what you're doing.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
I said, Ben, I'm trying to have you a nigga
say if he don't.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Get no pussy stow, he gonna leave your ass. And
I'm motherfucking friends up. It ain't got theming.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
You know what I'm saying. I'm a friends up. My
mother fucking heg.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'll tell you what I'm fucking. I love a fuck,
I love a fucking more and I love to eat.
If you put a dick between two slices of bread.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
You got mad. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I love the fuck mailwas ain't nothing but a sandwich,
but a dick hate.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
That's more like a man got a jam.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
And I'm a a's and bitch too. You know, you
can have this pipsy from the front. You can have
this pios from the back of hell, this pussy like
burger king, you can have it.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Joe way got this. I'm had a's and bitch.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
But you know why you got to start jackanese motherfucker's off,
ladies for real, Cause I was jacking this motherfucker off
over at the DJ booth, you know, cause I wanted
my intro to be right, you know, and I was

(03:05):
working this motherfucker like gee I.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Joe, what you comfort grip? You know? And the motherfucker
came so fast.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
If a dick had a bullet and that I would
have been shot.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Got damn. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
But you know what fellas, y'all got to start eating
that pussy up.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
That's right, Clay, You got to start eat that pussy.
You got the lick it before you stick it. God
damn you got started.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Eat that, Ladies, If you win a motherfucker that, don't
eat your pussy.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
I'd like to offer my condolences cause your pussy dead.
You know what I'm saying, ain't.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Mother, you got to start any pussy because you know
what a motherfucker ate mom. Pussy is so good up
there in the dressing room that I got in my car,
drove back of Arkansas on the fourth of a tank
of gas and slapped my mama because the mission Tim's
gonna fee that God damned up.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
I broke up. It's job as you tell the truth
next time. Goddamn.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
But you know why, you know why, I know I'm
gonna lose some of you ladies. You gotta start sucking
that dick.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
You got what I'm saying. You gotta shuck that motherfucker.
You know we got to suck. You know, suck.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Hey, I'm sucking motherfucker dick. Look sucking dick. Make teeth crooked.
Look look at this.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
I stuck. I'm on fuck a dick. You know what
I'm saying. But you got this what you gotta do.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Listen, tell me now, laddies, lad don't just suck dick.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
For sport.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, get paid while you're sucking that motherfucker dick.
You know this is what you do. You suck that
motherfucker dick. Right when it get ready to come, you
pull back, and you know.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
He gonna ask you that question, what's wrong girl?

Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's when you go, damn, I forgot to pay my
motherfucking phone bill. That's right, Tack. You know what, I'm
like god min two my for Tiny brusin blue and white.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
My name is Sir h Pa