Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well can eat me.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Everybody, excuse me, got a man in my throat?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Sorry. Wow. You know it's a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I just want to tell you, first of all, I
don't know if you men have noticed, but there is
an epidemic of women drinking these days. You know, women
are doing a lot more drinking than they used to.
I don't know what that's all about, but first of all,
I just want to say, you know, for you ladies
that are out here doing a lot of club hopping
(00:31):
and drinking and you know, partying and carousing and hell
raising like meat, that you got to remember that, you know,
alcohol makes you think that you're cuter than you really actually.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And then also you know you gotta be careful at
the bar drinking because you know you might be turning
these being on accidentally. You didn't even mean to turn
them off, and you might be turning them on accidentally
just because you know a simple thing like you don't
drop your straw and didn't know it and you searching
for it, and the men are looking at you from across.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
The room and making every dig hard in the club
because you be like, well, how you doing?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And then you know you need to be careful and
know what you can and can I drink, what agrees
with you, what makes you go crazy, and what gets
you in that mellow zone. Now for me personally, I
can't drink gin. I cannot drink gin. I don't know
what happens to me. I slip and fall on a
dick every time. Every time I drink. They're like, whoo damn,
(01:54):
I didn't mean to fuck you. If I meant to
fuck your homeboy. Wait a moment, Jim makes me either
want to fight or cry or both.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You know, you ever been at the.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Bar ladies with your home chair and you're like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yep in any way.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You you are my best friends?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
If yes, you are? And you know why.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
As you remember that time when Tyrone came up and
he was fucking me and the kids.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
U what what did you say?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
What is you say about that? Bitch? Y'all? Won't whoop
your mother? Fuck it out?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Pitch?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
What what did I say? And then there's that ever
looming question.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
You gotta call your girl the next day and be like, girl,
did I suck somebody dick in the pocket lot last night?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I got a funny taste in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
But you don't.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Liquor would put weight on you. Now, I know y'all
probably look at me and saying, damn, she must work out,
But no, this is all nattional. I growl this myself. Now,
(04:00):
you I had to train like an athlete to get
this bible.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You don't just wake up and look like this.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I had to eat midnight snack in between meals, nack,
and then you have to lay immediately down.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
After all that eating.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Shure.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
But you know, I said, well maybe I ought to
work out a little bit. But you know, I don't
just jump up and get on the damn tradmill and
start running in nowhere. After you've been laying on the
couch for twenty years, you just gonna jump the hell
up and get on the treadmill, You're gonna have a
heart attack.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
You don't have Many people died on the treadmill last year,
millions and millions of people. It's the silent killer exercise.
So I said I was gonna start off. Oh you know,
so I turned on to TV. I found that sick
and be fit bitch.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
You know, I.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Said, I'm gonna start off flow shit uther Uh who
I'm tired feel the burn. This is. I don't know
why everybody does this.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Then I said, well, you know, maybe I'll go to
a gym. So I said I should start, you know
with with where the old folks is.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I'm gonna go to curves, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Or when I found out a carriage is just a
meet and place for old bitches and trade recipes and shit.
I went to curves, and you know, I'm in there
doing my thing. I'm cranky anyway, because I don't want
to be there.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No way.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I just dropped my child off at school at eight
o'clock in the morning. I'm not gonna be fucked with
at this particular time in the morning. So I'm in here,
you know, and I'm doing my little shit whatever the
fucking machine I'm on. And you know, they start talking
(06:15):
about dressing recipes and shit, or maybe what you put
in your dressing, or I put some gizzards in man,
I topped up some cell may and I take them,
or what you put in your dressing Ernestine, or I
like to put the drift in front of the gives
a juice on the air.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
I like keeping moist. They'll say. Then they say, well,
young lady, what you put in your dressing.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I said, listen, Butterfly and mc queen, I'm not trying
to motherfucking live make friends in this bitch.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
You understand. I didn't come here the fucking trade recipes
and shit.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
And they complained about me. They told the supervisor I
was an anti social. Luckily for me, I have a boyfriend,
a new hot Latin boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Who loves me just the way I am. It's sort
of like shallow hal y'all know me.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
He don't see me the way your mother hers me.
And he came home the other night he was like,
you know, God, bless us heart. He was like, Mommy,
put this on. I said, alright, that's the only fucking
(08:09):
place that is gonna sit on me.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You know what I'm saying, Are.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You out of your mind?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You're gonna chalk my pussy to death putting this one.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I wear the granny panties, and my panties are all
the way up here or they need room to breathe.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's the same pussy and the big drawls as it is,
and the same pussy. You wanna fuck the panties and
you wanna fuck the pissol oh, what you wanna, okay balls,
So I said, well, god damn it. You know, if
(08:43):
you like lingree like this, let me go see and
I find some fucking lingree, cause you know, got a shit.
I ain't had a matching bron Panties said in nineteen
seventy nine.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Shit, you know. I went to Victoria's Secret and I
went in there and I tried on a song a
flesh throne, right. I thought we was gonna play peekaboo
finding the you know, so I put.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
The little uh, put the the throng on, I say,
and rolled up on be like a rubber band on
the newspaper. I said, no, wait a minute, I don't
know I put it on. H okay, well, I'll just
(09:34):
buy it. Then I know I put it on.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I at a st
Well can eat me.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Everybody, excuse me, got a man in my throat?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Sorry. Wow. You know it's a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I just want to tell you, first of all, I
don't know if you men have noticed, but there is
an epidemic of women drinking these days. You know, women
are doing a lot more drinking than they used to.
I don't know what that's all about, but first of all,
I just want to say, you know, for you ladies
that are out here doing a lot of club hopping
(00:31):
and drinking and you know, partying and carousing and hell
raising like meat, that you got to remember that, you know,
alcohol makes you think that you're cuter than you really actually.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And then also you know you gotta be careful at
the bar drinking because you know you might be turning
these being on accidentally. You didn't even mean to turn
them off, and you might be turning them on accidentally
just because you know a simple thing like you don't
drop your straw and didn't know it and you searching
for it, and the men are looking at you from across.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
The room and making every dig hard in the club
because you be like, well, how you doing?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And then you know you need to be careful and
know what you can and can I drink, what agrees
with you, what makes you go crazy, and what gets
you in that mellow zone. Now for me personally, I
can't drink gin. I cannot drink gin. I don't know
what happens to me. I slip and fall on a
dick every time. Every time I drink. They're like, whoo damn,
(01:54):
I didn't mean to fuck you. If I meant to
fuck your homeboy. Wait a moment, Jim makes me either
want to fight or cry or both.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You know, you ever been at the.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Bar ladies with your home chair and you're like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yep in any way.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You you are my best friends?
Speaker 1 (02:32):
If yes, you are? And you know why.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
As you remember that time when Tyrone came up and
he was fucking me and the kids.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
U what what did you say?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
What is you say about that? Bitch? Y'all? Won't whoop
your mother? Fuck it out?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Pitch?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
What what did I say? And then there's that ever
looming question.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
You gotta call your girl the next day and be like, girl,
did I suck somebody dick in the pocket lot last night?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
I got a funny taste in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
But you don't.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Liquor would put weight on you. Now, I know y'all
probably look at me and saying, damn, she must work out,
But no, this is all nattional. I growl this myself. Now,
(04:00):
you I had to train like an athlete to get
this bible.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You don't just wake up and look like this.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I had to eat midnight snack in between meals, nack,
and then you have to lay immediately down.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
After all that eating.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Shure.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
But you know, I said, well maybe I ought to
work out a little bit. But you know, I don't
just jump up and get on the damn tradmill and
start running in nowhere. After you've been laying on the
couch for twenty years, you just gonna jump the hell
up and get on the treadmill, You're gonna have a
heart attack.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
You don't have Many people died on the treadmill last year,
millions and millions of people. It's the silent killer exercise.
So I said I was gonna start off. Oh you know,
so I turned on to TV. I found that sick
and be fit bitch.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
You know, I.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Said, I'm gonna start off flow shit uther Uh who
I'm tired feel the burn. This is. I don't know
why everybody does this.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Then I said, well, you know, maybe I'll go to
a gym. So I said I should start, you know
with with where the old folks is.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
I'm gonna go to curves, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Or when I found out a carriage is just a
meet and place for old bitches and trade recipes and shit.
I went to curves, and you know, I'm in there
doing my thing. I'm cranky anyway, because I don't want
to be there.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No way.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I just dropped my child off at school at eight
o'clock in the morning. I'm not gonna be fucked with
at this particular time in the morning. So I'm in here,
you know, and I'm doing my little shit whatever the
fucking machine I'm on. And you know, they start talking
(06:15):
about dressing recipes and shit, or maybe what you put
in your dressing, or I put some gizzards in man,
I topped up some cell may and I take them,
or what you put in your dressing Ernestine, or I
like to put the drift in front of the gives
a juice on the air.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
I like keeping moist. They'll say. Then they say, well,
young lady, what you put in your dressing.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I said, listen, Butterfly and mc queen, I'm not trying
to motherfucking live make friends in this bitch.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
You understand. I didn't come here the fucking trade recipes
and shit.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
And they complained about me. They told the supervisor I
was an anti social. Luckily for me, I have a boyfriend,
a new hot Latin boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Who loves me just the way I am. It's sort
of like shallow hal y'all know me.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
He don't see me the way your mother hers me.
And he came home the other night he was like,
you know, God, bless us heart. He was like, Mommy,
put this on. I said, alright, that's the only fucking
(08:09):
place that is gonna sit on me.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You know what I'm saying, Are.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You out of your mind?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
You're gonna chalk my pussy to death putting this one.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I wear the granny panties, and my panties are all
the way up here or they need room to breathe.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's the same pussy and the big drawls as it is,
and the same pussy. You wanna fuck the panties and
you wanna fuck the pissol oh, what you wanna, okay balls,
So I said, well, god damn it. You know, if
(08:43):
you like lingree like this, let me go see and
I find some fucking lingree, cause you know, got a shit.
I ain't had a matching bron Panties said in nineteen
seventy nine.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Shit, you know. I went to Victoria's Secret and I
went in there and I tried on a song a
flesh throne, right. I thought we was gonna play peekaboo
finding the you know, so I put.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
The little uh, put the the throng on, I say,
and rolled up on be like a rubber band on
the newspaper. I said, no, wait a minute, I don't
know I put it on. H okay, well, I'll just
(09:34):
buy it. Then I know I put it on.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I at a st
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