41: Our Driving Kerfuffle (Fighting In The Car)

In this episode, Paul and Stacey will talk about a persistent and repetitive kerfuffle that they used to have often in the car when Paul was driving, and it’s a kerfuffle that a lot of couples can relate to. They’re going to share a clip from their previous three day live immersion event, the Relationship Breakthrough Retreat, where they ended up sharing the story of that kerfuffle in great detail.

It all revolved around how Paul drives, and to give a little context to that, Paul is a very confident driver and can drive pretty fast. He spent more than a decade of his youth as a professional driver and so he’s always keen when he’s driving. But with the fast driving, Stacey, who is not a fan of intensity, used to constantly have issues when they were on the road. She actually used to be terrified, and that would in turn distract Paul.

He used to get pissed off about it because he felt like Stacey didn’t trust him and her reactions would endanger them on the road. That became a trigger for Paul and he didn’t know how to deal with it. Stacey tried to sort it out by shifting her reactions from yelling and making all sorts of sudden movements, to tapping her hand, which meant that she was still terrified. That was until one night when they were driving and Stacey realized there was a huge difference in their eyesight.

Paul could see really far ahead, and that’s what made his driving so good despite going fast. Stacey on the other hand couldn’t see as far, and so to her, Paul always seemed to be driving fast somewhat in darkness which is what made her feel scared. From then on, she started leaning on that skill that Paul had that she didn’t, and that was the breakthrough for both of them that put an end to the kerfuffle. Stay tuned for more on that and how you can apply the lessons from it into profoundly changing your marriage.

Key Points Discussed:

• The job Paul had for 14 years and the valuable lessons he learned from it (01:26)
• The lions coming at you on the road (02:57)
• The high insurance rates in Philadelphia because of crazy drivers (06:59)
• Paul’s disdain for her Stacey’s overreaction and her not trusting him (08:34)
• How redirecting all his focus inside the car caused him to loose focus outside the car (11:03)
• Seeing far and speeding through the darkness (14:09)
• Raising your standard for yourself and lowering your expectations of others (17:42)
• The shift in perspective that changed everything (19:13)

Additional Resources:

• The 14-Day Boost Program
• www.MyRelationshipDevelopmentCommunity.com
• www.RelationshipBreakthroughRetreat.com

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