In this episode, Paul and Stacey will talk about a very common complaint that they get from women about how their husbands are too blunt and mean in their conversations, and how that triggers or embarrasses them. Stacey will share the story of one of their relationship transformers who asked them what she should have done when she asked her husband if she could take a certification class for her work, but he responded in a rude way. The lady felt her husband was an ass and treated her like crap, which she didn’t deserve.
The root cause of such an issue is the fact that masculine and feminine perspectives are worlds apart. For the feminine, when a man speaks in very blunt and direct language, a woman feels like the man has made his decision, and she either has to go by it or against it. But in reality, what happens in such a situation is all a misunderstanding of how the masculine is wired. If the woman in that situation gets a similar response from another woman, she wouldn’t find it mean or rude.
The same applies when men talk to other men. When a man asks another man for his opinion on a subject, he gets a very blunt and direct response because it’s in men’s nature not to sugarcoat things, and they understand each other in that regard. They are wired to be logical and assertive when tackling issues. So really, the best way to deal with such situations is to understand how other people are wired, and interact with them in a way that brings out the best in them, instead of assuming everybody's wired like us and interacting blindly, which then triggers the other person. Paul and Stacey will talk about that farther, and tell us where we can start in implementing that solution, so we can start experiencing kerfuffle free interactions with our loved ones.
Key Points Discussed:
- The common misunderstanding that takes place of how the masculine is wired, and how the masculine communicates (02:11)
- The huge difference between masculine to masculine versus masculine to feminine (05:54)
- The relationship dynamics that are happening to everyone (10:50)
- Stopping when you're in the win-lose is what makes it a win-lose, not what he says (13:00)
- The importance of understanding the other side so that whatever you say back comes out in a way that it can be received well (14:31)
- Being nothing but who we really are in order to be successful in our relationships (18:45)
- It’s all about getting a relationship education instead of becoming a different person (20:03)
- Stop applying your meanings to what your partner is saying, it's your meanings that are causing you pain (24:15)
Additional Resources:
- The 14-Day Boost Program
- www.MyRelationshipDevelopmentCommunity.com
- www.RelationshipBreakthroughRetreat.com
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