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August 4, 2025 24 mins
It doesn't matter who the abuser is or was! Most people will never get an apology, that's why you must forgive them in your heart, and then forgive yourself for allowing hurt and pain to cause you to lead a dysfunctional life. Forgiveness is for you and your peace so that you can let go and move on!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, hey, Hey, I'm bad with something for you to
think about. When your abuser never apologizes. Did that sink in?
When your abuser never apologizes? I really, really really want

(00:28):
you all to think about this because some of you.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Are individuals who have given total power to people who
have hurt you. Now, I know when I said abuser,
some of you immediately immediately.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Thought I was talking about your SUCs, your significant others,
which it can be.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
But I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Anyone who have hurt you and you're holding on to
that hurt.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Anyone who have hurt you.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
And you're still holding on to that hurt, that's the
abuser I'm talking about. See, a lot of you want
someone to say I'm sorry. You want them to say
forgive me. But for most people, that's never gonna happen.

(01:30):
You have to love yourself enough.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
To move on.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
I know a lot of you think that I'll be
talking out the side of my neck, but I know
what I'm saying is true.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
The world is full of people who are holding.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
On to old pain that they continue to make it
feel as if it's new pain because they keep read
living it, they keep reliving it, because they keep thinking
about it.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
And they hold it to the fore front of their
brains and it feels fresh.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Some of you will never ever, ever ever get it.
Get a I'm sorry, Please forgive me. I was wrong.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
I never got it from someone. But you have to
move on. You cannot let what other people have done
to you to control you or ruin the rest of

(02:52):
your life. You are giving power to people when you
do that, When you allow your hurt and pain that
someone inflicted on you, you are the one who's making
your life even worse. Because I'm telling you right now,

(03:18):
some people will never ask you for your forgiveness. Some
people can't because they're dead and gone. And I've talked
about that before. Some people you're bitter and angry and
enrage that are dead and gone.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Make it make sense. Why are you holding on to
all of.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
That pain.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
For the rest of your life.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Some people have died and wanting to their graves holding
on to negativity.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
When you do that, when you're that type of person,
all it does is make you so vulnerable to predators.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
I'm not talking about sexual predators, but it could involve them.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
People who prey on other people because they see their
vulnerabilities When you have a lot of negativity inside of
you and you're holding on to negative things, you make
yourself vulnerable to other people who are of unhealed hearts

(04:30):
and minds like you. You make yourself vulnerable to be used, abused,
taking advantage of.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Some of you will never ever ever get an apology.
Never never, and that's a fact.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Whatever you went through may have been traumatic, but what
you doing to yourself is just as bad because you're
inhibiting your growth. You're inhibiting your ability to mature and
to become the best person that you can be because
you're too busy holding on to.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
The anger and the pain of what someone done to you.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
You're mad because they died and never said I'm sorry.
I want you to think about that. Think about it.
Make it make sense. And what I'm saying is make
it make sense that you're holding on to bitterness and
anger because someone died and didn't say I'm sorry. They

(05:45):
didn't say I'm s solemn when they were alive. So
why hold on to something you never gonna receive? Why
cause yourself unnecessary self inflicted pain because you're going through
life with the same hatred and bitterness in your heart

(06:08):
when every day you get to see it's a day
for you to become better, a chance for you to
become better, an opportunity for you to become better.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
But what do people do know.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
They double down, They double down with the negativity. If
you're a negative person, you think negative, you feel negative,
you act negative.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
People can put.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
On good facides, you know, they can fake and pretend
very well, they're masters at it.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
But what's inside of you will still.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Affect you because there is no change, because it's still there.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
It affects your marriages, it affects your ability to parent,
It affects you as a boss, It affects.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
You as a supervisor or any form of leader.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
It affects you as a pastor, police officer, president.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
I mean, it don't matter what role.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Or position that you have, an unhealed heart and mind
will affect you.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
And this is exactly why.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
We're seeing all of the chaos and drama in the
world today, all of the unthinkables committed in the world today,
because people are of unhealed hearts and minds. Like I said,

(07:53):
everything then come from childhood. Some people picked up things
as they grow because as you get older and you
start doing things on your own. Social circles change, environments,

(08:13):
change the things that you hear and you receive from
other people changes, and you get negativity from everywhere. Social media,
news radio, I mean it's everywhere. So people get all

(08:36):
kinds of negativity. And when you are not an individual
who have that mental maturity, you will gravitate towards what
you think is similar to you.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
I think it's awful.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
I think it's awful, and it can lead to destruction
and devastation. And I know first hand it can because
it happened to someone very very dear to me. It
led to total destruction, total destruction because of what she

(09:17):
chose to get into. Total destruction and devastation that can't
ever be undone. It's permanent because a lot of times
people get into things that they think they can handle,
but they have no clue until they get in it.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
And they're in a bad, bad place.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
It's a lot of you don't want to listen to
the truth. You want to rebel, You want to continue
to go through life the same way, and you run into.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
These people that's no good for you.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
You get into these things like drugs and alcohol and sex,
perversion and all kind of things you comhearse them into.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
And ruin your lives because you chose to do.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
The wrong things, because you chose to go through life
bitter and angry. All it does is lead to self destruction.
You don't have to go out and commit a Hainou's crime.
You self destruct yourself in your own life by the

(10:46):
behaviors that you have, by the thoughts that you have,
and the feelings you have behind those thoughts, all because
you choose not to change. You wanna do it your way,
which is not the right way and haven't been.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
The right way obviously.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
If you're still in the same place mentally, your way
is not the right way.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
If you're still struggling with the same things.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
From years and years ago, your way is not the
right way. Obviously. If you're doing it the same you're
getting the same results. Your way has not worked. I
don't know how many times I have to say it,

(11:38):
but I'll keep saying that.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
If it does not matter.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
What you gain in this world or what you don't
gain in this world, what's.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
In you will have an effect on you.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
If you don't make a positive change in your life,
that negativity will have an effect on you. Let me
tell you, I know someone who is so negative. This
person is so negative, and they have no clue that
they're OCD. They have no clue that they are full

(12:14):
of anxieties and paranoias. They have no clue I've talked
to this person. They don't believe what I'm saying. I'm
not telling the truth, it's not true. But I'm like,
you forgot what I've done all my life. You forgot

(12:37):
my degrees, you forgot what I've been a part of.
I'm saying that to help you, not to hurt you,
not to be mean. You are a negative person, and
you take in all the negativity from these people in your.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Life that you call your friends.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
All of them are me negative dumping on you, and
now you're a mess.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
I mean all over the place, all over the place.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
You talk to this person, and they will go all
around the world, just all over the place.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
But they don't see it.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
They see things in other people, but they can't see
anything in themselves. And their home depicts their mental status.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
Clearly, just disarray everywhere, but they can't see it.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
And it's because of all of the bitterness inside that
they've held on to for years and years and years
and now they're just cold hearted.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
But they can't see.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
The person that hurt them the most is dead and good.
When that person was alive, they still didn't apologize.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
But this person still care the hurting pain.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
They'll say that they don't, but it's obvious that they
do and they have affected them for a lifetime. You
have to want better for yourself. You have to love
yourself despite of.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
What you've gone through.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Anyone who hurt you, it does not matter who they were.
Anyone who hurt you went through something themselves, and I've
always told you it is no excuse. But because they
were unhealed and never learned to cope in a positive way,

(15:04):
they projected on you.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
But because that happened, you still.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Could have chosen a better route, a better path for yourself.
No matter what you've gone through, you still could have
chose to be better. But most people stay in the

(15:33):
same place mentally, on the same path.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
With no mental maturity.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
They get older, they gain things in life, they accomplish things,
but mentally they are the same and they're still struggling
with the same types of mental problems because of the
hurt inside. Because they never ever, ever forgave whoever it was,

(16:11):
and they never forgave themselves for allowing themselves to go
through life.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Full of hurt, pain and anger, when when they are.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Way way past that, they're not experiencing it anymore. They're
experiencing in their memories, and they have empowered their memories.
They have so much power, they have invested so much
power in their memories.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
That it has formed all of these negative thoughts.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
And they just project project, project, project, project project.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
That's what people do, projecting.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
All their negativity onto others, causing havoc.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
In the world.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Have hearts full of hate, anger, rage, holding in that
mess for years, causing dysfunction in their own lives because
they choose to hold on to the negativity and not

(17:28):
let it go.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
That's why every day we see.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
People just fallow, fallow, fallow, fallow, fall into traps, believe
anything easily because of the mindsets.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
That they have.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Even when people are blatantly doing wrong, they can't see it.
They fall for the okie dope because they can't see
anything else. They can't see positive because they're so.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Surround it and drowning in negativity.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Like I said, some of you will never receive the
forgiveness you're looking for, But what you need to do
is forgive yourself. You need to forgive yourself and let

(18:34):
go and move on. I'm not saying you're gonna forget,
but you don't have to give power to those negative thoughts,
those memories that you are holding on to as if
there is any benefit those memories that's causing you pain.
It's no benefit to hold on to those things. It

(18:56):
makes you a better person. It makes you an angry person,
it makes you a person who's.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
Gullible and fall for things that you shouldn't fall for.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
The person that you really need to receive forgiveness from
is yourself. Forgive those other people because obviously they went
through something.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Forgive them in your heart.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Because they went through something too, and it was wrong
of them to hurt their children.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
That's why I said, you know.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
This mindset, these unhealed hearts and minds affect parenting. We
see it today right now today, the terrible parenting styles
that people have absolutely terrible, and unfortunately many of those children,

(20:14):
most of.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Them will grow up with similar traits as their parents
or parents.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Because people get comfortable even with the negativity, They get
comfortable in complacence, they normalize it and walalat of Walla.
We have a world full of broken people doing the

(20:49):
most following wrong, disrespecting, doing all kinds of things because
their unheal hearts and minds. You may never get that apology,

(21:09):
but you definitely, one hundred percent need to forgive yourself.
It's up to you. You can continue in life with
this darkness inside of you, or you can say enough
is enough.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
I want better for me. I love me. Most people
don't love themselves.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
There is no way a person love self with all
the hatred and bitterness in their hearts. There is no
way possible, no way, no way, no way. I don't
care what you think. You do not love yourself. If
you're carrying around darkness, evil, hate, anger, bitterness, that is

(21:57):
so far from love. A person who love themselves want
peace and harmony in their lives. They want love in
their lives. They want to show love for other people.
They want to be good to other people. You can't
be that with hate in your heart.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
You can't. You can't love, really love with.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Hatred in your heart. You just can't do it. And
I know many people think that they love themselves, but
it's an illusion. It truly is, because, as I said,
there's no way you love yourself with so much hatred
in your heart, so much negativity in you that you

(22:49):
become comfortable and complacent with because it's so familiar. It hurts,
but it's so familiar. Make it make sense, as they say,
because it don't.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
It does not. You have to do some inside work
for change to occur.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
No one can do it for you. You have to
do it for yourself. And if you choose to keep
going through life.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
The same way, you will get the same results.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I don't care how much money you have or how
much money you don't have. That heart has to change
for the better if you want better in your life,
point blank. And that's all I'm saying. If you want
to reach out to me, you have questions, whatever, please

(23:39):
feel free.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
My podcast has my email. I will respond. Thank you
for listening.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
Please share much love in every episode the same and
I pray, I pray you do it, think on it.
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