December 1, 2025 • 21 mins
It's great being a good and decent person but when you're not loved and appreciate it causes problems for yourself. It's a clear sign of immaturity but most people think because they're taking care of their business and doing the right thing that they're mature, when they're not. It's okay to mean well but good intentions don't mean anything to a person who doesn't care about you and only enjoying the benefits that you provide!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, Hey, I'm back with something for you to think about.
So today I want to talk about you being in
a relationship with someone who's good to you, but they're immature.
(00:24):
A lot of men end up with women who treat
them like trash. Now I know for sure that men,
some men treat women like trash. But today I'm talking
about the men who end up with women who treat
(00:46):
them like trash. Now, I'm not trying to degrade or
talk about women. That's not what I'm trying to do.
I'm not trying to bash women. I'm just telling you
what I know. There are many many men who are
(01:07):
good men, men who mean well, men who do well
by their women, but they're treated awful. That's why I
say he's good. He's a good guy, he means well,
(01:30):
he does well, but he's immature. And it's so unfortunate.
It's so unfortunate that good men are treated that way.
And I know we got good women that I treated
(01:50):
that way. But I want you to concentrate and focus
on what I'm saying. They're immature, and because they're immature,
they're treated badly by the immature woman that they're with.
I've seen it so many times, especially when I was
(02:11):
in the military, I knew men who worked every day,
gave their wives the paycheck, came home and they had
to take care of the children, feed the children after
working all day as a soldier. I've seen it many,
many times, and it just goes to show you it
(02:34):
don't matter how good he is if he's immature, because
the person who's benefiting the most is the woman. He's
not benefiting because most times she really don't want him.
She just like what he do for her. And I'm
(02:55):
just telling you this is fact. It happens. It's sad,
but it's very true. So there are very good guys
out there, very good man out there. But to me,
if he's immature, it still don't work. It don't because
(03:24):
he is on the short end of the stick and
he is causing his own self inflicted pain because he's
allowing the woman to treat him any kind of way.
And most times these guys have children by these women,
(03:49):
and therefore they really want to stay in a relationship
for the children. But if you listen to me, you
will know that I don't and you know I don't
agree with that stand for the children because there are
many households who have both parents, but the children are
(04:10):
mistreated in every way, abused on every level, their own
biological children. So I don't necessarily think and stand for
the children is a good thing. I really don't unless
the environment is good and healthy for the children, because
(04:31):
parents can be at odds, but the children don't. You know,
they're not in the midst of it. But most times
we know that's not the case because people can't contain
their emotions. So the children here and they see. But
(04:52):
in situations like this, in relationships like these, the men
settle because they they are good guys and they really
want their relationships to work. But those women, they're on
another level. They have a whole different agenda. Most times
(05:13):
they really don't want that man. They just love that
he takes care of her. They love that he takes
care of the children, he takes care of the house,
and they think that's all he you know, he do
all of these things. But sooner or later he's going
to get tired. It never fails, They don't. Sometime they
(05:39):
get tired, but they still stay. But you know what
that staying is out of it securities. They let you
know you have issues within yourself that you need to resolve.
Because being good is wonderful, Being a great father is one.
(06:00):
Taking care of your business is wonderful. But when you're immature,
it causes you conflict. It causes you issues more than
what you already have, because your desires and your feelings
(06:21):
and your wants and all of those things comes from
an unhealed heart and mind. Because people don't understand that
what's going on inside of you affects how you function
in this world. What's going on inside of you, those
(06:48):
things that you hold on to affects how you think,
feel and act. And I know that these types of
men think they're doing a great deed. They're doing a
great service, you know, being there for their children, being
there for the women. But when you're hurting yourself, when
(07:12):
you're miserable, when you're lonely, when your soul is aching,
because you want love, you want attention that you're not
getting because most times these men don't get any attention,
they don't get any intimacy. The only time the women
(07:33):
step up is when they think someone else is paying
attention to him. Then they will act as if they care.
I've seen it so many times, honestly, I've seen it
so many times. Then they will play the role, you know,
(07:54):
pretending that they care this my man, you know, that's
the role they get into, defensive, yet they treat him
like crap. See, this is the problem with a lot
of people. A lot of people treat their significant others
(08:16):
like crap and then expect for them to stay. You
think that they, oh, they're not going anywhere. I have
a baby by him. He's not going anywhere. You're fooling
yourself because just like when a woman gets fed up,
you can talk until you blue in the face, she
(08:38):
is fed up. When a man is fed up, he
is fed up. The difference that I've noticed is sometimes
the man gets fed up and he's a little he's
a little more. It bothers him a lot more sometimes
than it bothers a woman. Both could be bitter and angry,
(09:01):
but men just handle things a little differently than a woman.
The best advice suggestion recommendation that I can give to
anyone before you get in a relationship, know and love yourself,
know your worth and your value. Because however you treat yourself,
(09:28):
that's the way other people are gonna treat you when
they see that you don't care. They don't care when
they see that they can get away with whatever because
you allow it. That's what they're gonna do. You have
to love yourself enough to not allow anyone, for any reason,
(09:56):
to mistreat you. You deserve better than that. And like
I said, I know some very very good guys, but
they're living in hell and I feel bad for them,
and I talk to them, I be honest with them,
but they're not going anywhere because they are individuals who
(10:21):
are dedicated and committed, but they're totally neglecting self. They're
inducing self inflicted pain in their own lives because they
so desperately want the relationship to work out, and they genuinely,
(10:45):
really really love the lady. But most times it's the
children that really really hold them and keep them there.
Still say, you have inner issues to work on. You
have not mentally matured to the level that you should
(11:07):
be as an adult. Most people haven't. Most people in
this world truly truly think they are mature, but they're not.
They may have gotten older, they may be adults, but
they're not mentally mature. And I've always told you check yourself.
(11:29):
You don't have to take my word. Don't listen to nothing.
I'm saying, check yourself. Look at what you allow it
into your life. Look at who you allow into your life,
look at how you allow people to treat you, how
you allow them to talk to you, whatever. Look at
yourself and it will tell you the truth. It will
(11:54):
show you whether you're mature or not not. If you
allow people to treat you any kind of way, if
you take and accept any and everything from people, if
you let people you know, just totally do whatever they
want to do, your bosses, your coworkers, your friends, your family,
(12:17):
other people. If you let them do it, they will period.
You know, a lot of people say, oh, I want
a good man, I want a good man, I want
(12:38):
a good woman, but they get them and don't know
how to treat them because of their own inner issues.
And a lot of people they just want someone to
take care of them, They want someone to be there,
but they really don't want that person. They just love
(12:58):
the benefits. It's a terrible relationship to be in, but
many people are in these types of relationships. When I
see these men, I'm like, Wow, they have great, great potential.
(13:19):
If they will only learn how to love themselves. They
want to give love so desperately. But if they only
knew how to love themselves, they would be phenomenal for
a good woman. But because they're not on that level mentally,
(13:42):
even though they mean taking maybe taking care of their business,
mentally and internally, they have not grown. They have not grown.
And that's why they said project themselves to the types
(14:02):
of relationships that they're in, because they have not grown mentally.
And I know many of you hearing the sound of
my voice right now, you're in the same situation. See,
you can fool other people, you can fake, and you
can pretend, but you know you better than anyone else.
(14:27):
You know the heartache you feel. You know the headache
you feel, you know the pain, You know the loneliness
you feel. You know how much you yearn for intimacy,
for someone to hold you and tell you they love you.
(14:51):
Many people are in loveless relationships. What is the point?
Like I said, people want to stay for their children.
But you think it's good for children to see their
parents don't love each other. You think it's good for
children to see the animosity, the resent, all of the beefing,
(15:19):
you know, the arguing and fighting. You think that's healthy
for a child to see. Very few and I do
mean very few people can manage to have discord without
(15:42):
their children knowing, very very few for the most part,
children seeing here. And that's where the dysfunction comes in.
If you're not at peace within yourself, if you do
(16:07):
not know your worth, are your value, people gonna treat
you any kind of way that they want. You teach
people how to treat you when you let them do
(16:27):
whatever it is they want to do, you, let them
talk to you any kind of way, disrespect you, whatever
it is.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
They'll do it. If you play the fool, you're gonna
get played, simple as that.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And personally, to me, no one, you heard me right,
No one is worth it, no one. I'm not staying
for the kids, for Mam and daddy, nobody. If I'm
not happy and I'm not at peace, then there's a problem.
(17:16):
There is a problem. You have to find peace within yourself.
You'll never find it in no one else. Only thing
will happen is you will become worse. You will become
worse because holding all of that in it's just gonna
make you feel even worse about yourself and your situation.
(17:43):
So let me say again I'm not bashing women, but
I'm just this episode is mostly for the men, the
good men, the good, wholesome men who's doing the right thing,
but they just immature. And it's no disrespect. That's not
(18:04):
what I'm trying to do at all. I just want
you to understand. It's wonderful, it's beautiful to be a
good person, a person who's about their business, a person
who's doing the thing. But when you're allowing yourself to
be used, mistreated, taking advantage of, that's telling you something major, major,
(18:30):
major about yourself. You're not mature. You're an immature person.
And that is no I mean no pawns intended at all.
You have some growing to do. You have to know
(18:52):
who you are. You have to love yourself, you have
to understand your worthy of better. That's all I'm saying.
I'm not trying to hurt any feelings, but I want
you to understand that you matter. See, that's why it's
(19:16):
super important to know who you're getting involved with. And
Lord have mercy, Jesus, Lord have mercy. Don't be having
children without knowing who you're having children with. Stop it.
These children are being raised in pure hell, and that's
(19:42):
another episode. I've talked about it plenty. If you want
to listen, just go, you know, scroll through my episodes
because I talk about all of that. Hats off to
the good men and the good women. Hats off. But
(20:09):
when you allow yourself to be treated unfairly, it's a
disservice and self neglect to you, to yourself. And the
reason you feel how you feel is because you're not
making no changes within yourself because people treat you how
(20:34):
you allow them to treat you you. And that's all
I'm saying. Take it for what is worth much much, much,
much love to each and every one of you. Please share,
check out my other episodes. Stay strong, God bless much
(21:02):
love in every episode the same and I hope, uh
you do it? Yes, thank god it
Hey, Hey, I'm back with something for you to think about.
So today I want to talk about you being in
a relationship with someone who's good to you, but they're immature.
(00:24):
A lot of men end up with women who treat
them like trash. Now I know for sure that men,
some men treat women like trash. But today I'm talking
about the men who end up with women who treat
(00:46):
them like trash. Now, I'm not trying to degrade or
talk about women. That's not what I'm trying to do.
I'm not trying to bash women. I'm just telling you
what I know. There are many many men who are
(01:07):
good men, men who mean well, men who do well
by their women, but they're treated awful. That's why I
say he's good. He's a good guy, he means well,
(01:30):
he does well, but he's immature. And it's so unfortunate.
It's so unfortunate that good men are treated that way.
And I know we got good women that I treated
(01:50):
that way. But I want you to concentrate and focus
on what I'm saying. They're immature, and because they're immature,
they're treated badly by the immature woman that they're with.
I've seen it so many times, especially when I was
(02:11):
in the military, I knew men who worked every day,
gave their wives the paycheck, came home and they had
to take care of the children, feed the children after
working all day as a soldier. I've seen it many,
many times, and it just goes to show you it
(02:34):
don't matter how good he is if he's immature, because
the person who's benefiting the most is the woman. He's
not benefiting because most times she really don't want him.
She just like what he do for her. And I'm
(02:55):
just telling you this is fact. It happens. It's sad,
but it's very true. So there are very good guys
out there, very good man out there. But to me,
if he's immature, it still don't work. It don't because
(03:24):
he is on the short end of the stick and
he is causing his own self inflicted pain because he's
allowing the woman to treat him any kind of way.
And most times these guys have children by these women,
(03:49):
and therefore they really want to stay in a relationship
for the children. But if you listen to me, you
will know that I don't and you know I don't
agree with that stand for the children because there are
many households who have both parents, but the children are
(04:10):
mistreated in every way, abused on every level, their own
biological children. So I don't necessarily think and stand for
the children is a good thing. I really don't unless
the environment is good and healthy for the children, because
(04:31):
parents can be at odds, but the children don't. You know,
they're not in the midst of it. But most times
we know that's not the case because people can't contain
their emotions. So the children here and they see. But
(04:52):
in situations like this, in relationships like these, the men
settle because they they are good guys and they really
want their relationships to work. But those women, they're on
another level. They have a whole different agenda. Most times
(05:13):
they really don't want that man. They just love that
he takes care of her. They love that he takes
care of the children, he takes care of the house,
and they think that's all he you know, he do
all of these things. But sooner or later he's going
to get tired. It never fails, They don't. Sometime they
(05:39):
get tired, but they still stay. But you know what
that staying is out of it securities. They let you
know you have issues within yourself that you need to resolve.
Because being good is wonderful, Being a great father is one.
(06:00):
Taking care of your business is wonderful. But when you're immature,
it causes you conflict. It causes you issues more than
what you already have, because your desires and your feelings
(06:21):
and your wants and all of those things comes from
an unhealed heart and mind. Because people don't understand that
what's going on inside of you affects how you function
in this world. What's going on inside of you, those
(06:48):
things that you hold on to affects how you think,
feel and act. And I know that these types of
men think they're doing a great deed. They're doing a
great service, you know, being there for their children, being
there for the women. But when you're hurting yourself, when
(07:12):
you're miserable, when you're lonely, when your soul is aching,
because you want love, you want attention that you're not
getting because most times these men don't get any attention,
they don't get any intimacy. The only time the women
(07:33):
step up is when they think someone else is paying
attention to him. Then they will act as if they care.
I've seen it so many times, honestly, I've seen it
so many times. Then they will play the role, you know,
(07:54):
pretending that they care this my man, you know, that's
the role they get into, defensive, yet they treat him
like crap. See, this is the problem with a lot
of people. A lot of people treat their significant others
(08:16):
like crap and then expect for them to stay. You
think that they, oh, they're not going anywhere. I have
a baby by him. He's not going anywhere. You're fooling
yourself because just like when a woman gets fed up,
you can talk until you blue in the face, she
(08:38):
is fed up. When a man is fed up, he
is fed up. The difference that I've noticed is sometimes
the man gets fed up and he's a little he's
a little more. It bothers him a lot more sometimes
than it bothers a woman. Both could be bitter and angry,
(09:01):
but men just handle things a little differently than a woman.
The best advice suggestion recommendation that I can give to
anyone before you get in a relationship, know and love yourself,
know your worth and your value. Because however you treat yourself,
(09:28):
that's the way other people are gonna treat you when
they see that you don't care. They don't care when
they see that they can get away with whatever because
you allow it. That's what they're gonna do. You have
to love yourself enough to not allow anyone, for any reason,
(09:56):
to mistreat you. You deserve better than that. And like
I said, I know some very very good guys, but
they're living in hell and I feel bad for them,
and I talk to them, I be honest with them,
but they're not going anywhere because they are individuals who
(10:21):
are dedicated and committed, but they're totally neglecting self. They're
inducing self inflicted pain in their own lives because they
so desperately want the relationship to work out, and they genuinely,
(10:45):
really really love the lady. But most times it's the
children that really really hold them and keep them there.
Still say, you have inner issues to work on. You
have not mentally matured to the level that you should
(11:07):
be as an adult. Most people haven't. Most people in
this world truly truly think they are mature, but they're not.
They may have gotten older, they may be adults, but
they're not mentally mature. And I've always told you check yourself.
(11:29):
You don't have to take my word. Don't listen to nothing.
I'm saying, check yourself. Look at what you allow it
into your life. Look at who you allow into your life,
look at how you allow people to treat you, how
you allow them to talk to you, whatever. Look at
yourself and it will tell you the truth. It will
(11:54):
show you whether you're mature or not not. If you
allow people to treat you any kind of way, if
you take and accept any and everything from people, if
you let people you know, just totally do whatever they
want to do, your bosses, your coworkers, your friends, your family,
(12:17):
other people. If you let them do it, they will period.
You know, a lot of people say, oh, I want
a good man, I want a good man, I want
(12:38):
a good woman, but they get them and don't know
how to treat them because of their own inner issues.
And a lot of people they just want someone to
take care of them, They want someone to be there,
but they really don't want that person. They just love
(12:58):
the benefits. It's a terrible relationship to be in, but
many people are in these types of relationships. When I
see these men, I'm like, Wow, they have great, great potential.
(13:19):
If they will only learn how to love themselves. They
want to give love so desperately. But if they only
knew how to love themselves, they would be phenomenal for
a good woman. But because they're not on that level mentally,
(13:42):
even though they mean taking maybe taking care of their business,
mentally and internally, they have not grown. They have not grown.
And that's why they said project themselves to the types
(14:02):
of relationships that they're in, because they have not grown mentally.
And I know many of you hearing the sound of
my voice right now, you're in the same situation. See,
you can fool other people, you can fake, and you
can pretend, but you know you better than anyone else.
(14:27):
You know the heartache you feel. You know the headache
you feel, you know the pain, You know the loneliness
you feel. You know how much you yearn for intimacy,
for someone to hold you and tell you they love you.
(14:51):
Many people are in loveless relationships. What is the point?
Like I said, people want to stay for their children.
But you think it's good for children to see their
parents don't love each other. You think it's good for
children to see the animosity, the resent, all of the beefing,
(15:19):
you know, the arguing and fighting. You think that's healthy
for a child to see. Very few and I do
mean very few people can manage to have discord without
(15:42):
their children knowing, very very few for the most part,
children seeing here. And that's where the dysfunction comes in.
If you're not at peace within yourself, if you do
(16:07):
not know your worth, are your value, people gonna treat
you any kind of way that they want. You teach
people how to treat you when you let them do
(16:27):
whatever it is they want to do, you, let them
talk to you any kind of way, disrespect you, whatever
it is.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
They'll do it. If you play the fool, you're gonna
get played, simple as that.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And personally, to me, no one, you heard me right,
No one is worth it, no one. I'm not staying
for the kids, for Mam and daddy, nobody. If I'm
not happy and I'm not at peace, then there's a problem.
(17:16):
There is a problem. You have to find peace within yourself.
You'll never find it in no one else. Only thing
will happen is you will become worse. You will become
worse because holding all of that in it's just gonna
make you feel even worse about yourself and your situation.
(17:43):
So let me say again I'm not bashing women, but
I'm just this episode is mostly for the men, the
good men, the good, wholesome men who's doing the right thing,
but they just immature. And it's no disrespect. That's not
(18:04):
what I'm trying to do at all. I just want
you to understand. It's wonderful, it's beautiful to be a
good person, a person who's about their business, a person
who's doing the thing. But when you're allowing yourself to
be used, mistreated, taking advantage of, that's telling you something major, major,
(18:30):
major about yourself. You're not mature. You're an immature person.
And that is no I mean no pawns intended at all.
You have some growing to do. You have to know
(18:52):
who you are. You have to love yourself, you have
to understand your worthy of better. That's all I'm saying.
I'm not trying to hurt any feelings, but I want
you to understand that you matter. See, that's why it's
(19:16):
super important to know who you're getting involved with. And
Lord have mercy, Jesus, Lord have mercy. Don't be having
children without knowing who you're having children with. Stop it.
These children are being raised in pure hell, and that's
(19:42):
another episode. I've talked about it plenty. If you want
to listen, just go, you know, scroll through my episodes
because I talk about all of that. Hats off to
the good men and the good women. Hats off. But
(20:09):
when you allow yourself to be treated unfairly, it's a
disservice and self neglect to you, to yourself. And the
reason you feel how you feel is because you're not
making no changes within yourself because people treat you how
(20:34):
you allow them to treat you you. And that's all
I'm saying. Take it for what is worth much much, much,
much love to each and every one of you. Please share,
check out my other episodes. Stay strong, God bless much
(21:02):
love in every episode the same and I hope, uh
you do it? Yes, thank god it
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.