July 18, 2025 • 42 mins
Are your relationships feeling off-balance, disconnected, or misunderstood? In this powerful episode of Appreciate What’s Needed, we explore the importance of recognizing and valuing what’s truly needed in your relationships emotionally, mentally, and practically.
Being intentional isn’t about perfection it’s about being aware, showing up, and honoring each other’s needs. Whether you're nurturing a romantic relationship, deepening a friendship, or restoring family ties, this episode will help you shift from reactive to intentional and appreciative connection.
Discover 15 powerful tips to help you slow down, listen deeply, and build the kind of relationships that are not only lasting but deeply fulfilling.
#relationships #goodcommunication #selfawareness #workonyou #dailymotivation
Being intentional isn’t about perfection it’s about being aware, showing up, and honoring each other’s needs. Whether you're nurturing a romantic relationship, deepening a friendship, or restoring family ties, this episode will help you shift from reactive to intentional and appreciative connection.
Discover 15 powerful tips to help you slow down, listen deeply, and build the kind of relationships that are not only lasting but deeply fulfilling.
#relationships #goodcommunication #selfawareness #workonyou #dailymotivation
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:20):
Blessings and peace to you. This is s be Favorite
Thinking podcast and my name is SB Favor. How are
you doing today? It is Friday, Yes, it is July eighteenth,
twenty twenty five. Another wonderful day and another day to
be thankful. And as I always say, if you focus
(00:43):
on what is good, then you can project something good
to happen. Because if you are focusing on the negative things,
guess what, Nothing good comes from that. So focus on
what's good because when you focus on what is good,
it simply means that you are giving power for something
(01:05):
good to happen. You're giving energy to it, You're giving
power to something good that could possibly happen. That's right.
You don't want to focus on the negative things because
if you focus on the negative things, that means you
are giving power to that. So focus on what is
good today because it's a good day. We all have
something to be thankful for. We all have something we
(01:28):
could think about that's positive. That's right, we do, we do,
So focus on what is good. If you are out
there traveling about today, whatever it is you're doing today,
make sure you pray, make sure you stay focused, and
make sure you pray. And if you are in the public,
make sure you are not distracted by being on your
(01:51):
cel phone too much, because a lot of us are
out in the public and we are on our cell
phones and we're not paying attention. Yes we are, So
make sure you are focused, make sure you pray, and
make sure you are not distracted by being on your
cell phone too much when you are in the public. Okay.
(02:11):
I always remind you of these things because I care.
If you would like to give to the podcast, you
can give at cash app dalassan as be favor, or
you can give at NMO at SB favor. Once again,
if you would like to give to the podcast, you
can give at cash shap dala san As be favor,
(02:34):
or you can give at NMO and that's the symbol
at s B favor. Okay, all right, thank you so
much for your support and your donations. And also I
want to remind you if you would like to support
Feeding America, please go to their website and learn more
about the organization that provides food for families across the
nation and the US. Please go to Feeding America dot org. Okay, again,
(03:00):
if you would like to support Feeding America, it's a
great organization. That provides food for families across the nation,
go to their website. If you want to learn more
about them, go to their website at Videoamerica dot org.
And lastly, if you would like to take English lessons
or public speaking lessons, if you would like to just
(03:23):
enhance your level of speaking when it comes to public speaking,
or just being more confident according to how you speak,
you can take English lessons, you can take public speaking lessons,
and you can find out more at ICs biz one
dot com. Once again, if you would like to take
(03:44):
English lessons, public speaking lessons, if you want to be
more confident when you speak, when you get presentations, and
all of that good stuff, just go to the website
ICs and s bz one dot com ICs biz one come. Yes,
you can find out all you need to find out
(04:07):
on that website. Okay, all right, So the title of
this episode is appreciate what's needed building stronger relationships with
intention Yes, I'm going to repeat that again, appreciate what's
(04:28):
needed building or build stronger relationships with intentions. We all
need to build better relationships. It doesn't matter how old
you are or how young you are. For the rest
of your life, you're going to be in a relationship
with somebody. That's right, relationship with your parents, relationship with
(04:53):
your friends. We were created to have relationships. We were
not created so that could just be alone and solo
every day, all day, all the time. If you're at work,
you have relationships. When you are traveling about, you develop
relationships with strangers. When you are in school, college, high school,
(05:16):
middle school, whatever level you are at in your life.
When it comes to environments, you will have relationships. You
will build relationships, and so it is important to know
what you need to do in order to have a
(05:37):
good relationship because building stronger relationships within tension has a
good foundation because you will know what to do that's right.
You will know what to do because all of us
have to do the work in order to grow. We
all have a responsibility to grow every single day we
(06:00):
wake up. We have a responsibility to grow so that
we can become an asset and not a liability. If
you want to have good relationships that help you, that
will help you to be a better person, that will
help you to just grow and help the people that
(06:21):
you're connected to to help them to grow. It's better
to know what to do, so that's what I'm going
to talk about. I'm going to talk about how to
stay connected and how to communicate and what you should
do in the midst of misunderstanding, because we've all been misunderstood, right,
(06:42):
We've all we've all going through that. We have all
going through that. But first, I want to say that
in every relationship, when it comes to siblings, parents, and
the people that we meet first in our life, that
(07:02):
immediate family, right, we have to understand who we're talking to.
We have to understand if we care enough about that
next person, if we're not being selfish. We should understand
who we're talking to. And when you understand who you
are talking to, by engaging and listening more to that person,
you will understand that individual's emotional needs. Because everyone expresses
(07:29):
and receives love differently, right, So by paying attention to
know what that person needs, that simply means you are
learning about how to express love to them. Yes, you
are learning about how to express love when you learn
(07:52):
and understand the emotional needs of another person. Now I'm
talking about immediate family. Right now, I'm going to move
on to the romantic side, Okay, because I know some
of y'all waiting for me to get to that. So,
but I want to talk about parenting, relationships and siblings
(08:14):
and all that stuff. So, your core family, your immediate family,
the people that you have a relationship with first, your parents,
your siblings. They are the first people we meet when
we come into this life, and so we have to
learn about who we are communicating with, who we are
dealing with, who is this person? Quite naturally, you know,
(08:36):
when you're a young child, you know, all this stuff
doesn't really really count, right because it's more on a
parent than the child. But once you become of age,
we have a responsibility to learn about who our parents are,
and the parents have a responsibility to learn and know
(08:57):
who are who our children are. Right, So we do
that by understanding their emotional needs. Now, for a person
that is then a romantic relationship, you have the responsibility
to do the same thing because if you don't understand
a person's emotional needs, then how can you relate to them. Now,
(09:22):
I'm not saying that you have to meet every emotional
need of every person you in a relationship. Would That's
not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this engage
with the person enough to understand who they are. Understand
something about who they are so that you can make
the adjustment to be what they need in a minute
(09:46):
or the time that you are dealing with that person. Right,
sometimes it's best to just not sometimes, but all the time,
it is best to engage, pay attention and listen more,
and then you will learn more. Husbands, ask instead of assuming.
(10:13):
Unfortunately a lot of us have done that. We have
assumed something without asking. We should never do that. Unfortunately,
some people have a habit of harboring negative emotions because
they have assumed something. The word harboring or harbor that
(10:34):
word has uh. It is defined by holding feelings in.
You don't need holding feelings in, just holding holding the
feelings in, not expressing what you feel or thinking about
one thing, and just holding on to it without releasing
it or expressing it. That's what harboring means. Harbor or harboring. Okay,
(10:58):
I just paraphrase that definite for those of you that
are heavily addicted to the dictionary. So as I was saying,
it's best to ask instead of assuming, because good communication
is very, very vital to every relationship. Because if you
are walking around harboring negative emotions without asking, and you're
(11:24):
just assuming. That means you're just holding onto something thinking
that somebody's going to just guess what you are going through.
And that person is not going to do that. The
next person is not going to do that. So you
need to ask questions and not assume because clarity brings
(11:46):
more connection. That's right. If you ask a question, if
you have a problem, you should ask a question. But
if you're one of those people and you just walk around,
if you're just walking around horroring, harboring negative emotions and
negative feelings, the next person can be responsible for what
(12:08):
you are thinking if you haven't asked a question, that's right.
We all have the responsibility to make sure that we
release what we feel. Now. I know some people say
things like, well, you have to pick and choose when
it's when's the when is the right time to talk
(12:28):
about certain things? Well, guess what, if you don't want
to talk about something, just don't carry that negative thought
or that negative, negative energy with it, because if you're
walking around with the negative thought and you're walking around
with just bad negative emotions, other people can feel that
(12:54):
if you don't want to talk about something that's bothering
you then make sure you are still being loving, still
being caring, but don't walk around with this bad attitude
and negative thoughts and your face doesn't look happy, and
people that see you they know something is wrong. And
then when somebody asks you what's wrong, you say, oh, nothing,
(13:15):
You just lie, You just lie. So tell the truth.
If something is wrong, express how you feel. And I
know unfortunately some people they have anger issues, but guess
what you need to control that because you should always
ask instead of assuming something, because if you assume something,
(13:39):
that means you're just making yourself mad over nothing. You
have to communicate how you feel and get rid of
what you don't need. Because if you're thinking a negative thought,
and if you ask the question, the person could possibly
answer your question, and then all of the things that
you were thinking you could just get rid of. You won't,
(14:03):
you don't you won't need it. In other words, thinking
negative without having a problem resolved is wasteful. Thinking. You
don't even have to think negative if you ask a question.
Because clarity brings connection. Yes, it does recognize silent efforts,
(14:27):
and what does that mean? Recognize solid efforts when you
recognize solid not solid? Silent? Silent not solid silent. When
you recognize silent efforts. I'm talking about those small things
(14:48):
that people do, show appreciation. That's right for all relationships,
work relationships, marriages, parents, children, When you see that someone
does something really small, those silent efforts, those things that
some people may not notice, show appreciation, appreciate what's done
(15:15):
without being asked. When you show appreciation and your relationships.
For an example, if a child is continually showing appreciation
to that parent that does their largely and cooks their food,
and they do all these things to let their parent
(15:38):
know I appreciate you. That's a beautiful thing as a
parent to experience. Because as a parent, when your child
or children show you that they appreciate you, it just
encourages you to do more. And if you are a wife,
if you show your husband appreciation, it will encourage him
(15:59):
to do more. It will encourage them to just be
more excited, to be more kind. Oh yes, if you
are a friend, show your friends that you appreciate them,
because we all could use encouragement. We all can use it.
(16:24):
So don't let something not be appreciated, but appreciate everything.
Be grateful for everything. I'm not saying you got to
constantly show it. But what I'm saying is don't don't
look at it. Don't look at something that someone is
(16:45):
doing and take it for granted. Don't look at it
like it's like you're supposed to like somebody's supposed to
do something for you. But what I'm saying is this,
just show appreciation to the people you love. Because when
you show appreciation to the people that you love, that
is a good way to build a good relationship because
(17:12):
by showing appreciation, you are allowing that person to know
that you are thankful. That's right, because building stronger relationships
with intention is very necessary. It's necessary. We get this
(17:33):
one life to live here on the earth. Why not
make it good. You should make it good. That's right.
Listen always without trying to fix everything. Sometimes people just
want to be heard. Now, I know that's a difficult
(17:55):
thing for some people, and I'm counting myself that because
I'm not one of those people that want to listen
to everything. Now, let me explain that if you are
speaking positive about something, and you are speaking positive about
the solution, and if you tell me you feel a
(18:15):
certain way, but now you feel better and you are
speaking in a positive way, about how you are changing
the situation, or if you are going through something and
you are doing better, I can listen to that. But
I don't want to listen to somebody that's just talking
(18:36):
negative upun negative and punnegative and negative and negative, and
I don't want to listen to that. But you can
listen to someone when they need to be heard, you
can listen to them. But if they're talking negative and
they don't want to get to the solution, now that's different.
But it is important to just listen without fixing. Okay,
(19:02):
it is important because once again, you want to let
that person know you appreciate them. So listen without fixing
is a way to just let that person vent, let
that person speak, and you can just listen to what
(19:23):
they have to say. But like I said, if that
person is speaking negative and they don't they're not speaking
in any direction of the solution, that's a problem. But
I would still listen, but at some point I would
try to encourage them at the same time. Yes, but
(19:44):
you can listen without fixing because you want to show
that person that you appreciate them. Respect Timing and space
needs aren't always urgent. What they matter, that's right, certain
needs aren't always urgent, but they matter. Don't ever think
(20:07):
that a need does not matter. It may not be urgent,
but don't think that it doesn't matter. You want to
be mindful of the needs of others in relationships. You
want to be mindful and consider it. If your coworker
(20:28):
is looking really, really sad and you just walk by
her desk and you're not going to say anything to
help her, You're not going to say anything to encourage her.
You don't have to know her personal business, but you
could say something to encourage her. Oh, yes you can.
So we should always respect timing and space because needs
(20:52):
aren't always urgent, but they matter. They matter. So all
of us are busys. We're going about our days and
we're doing whatever we have to do, school work, and
everybody's just busy. But sometimes you just got to slow
down and pay attention. Gotta pay attention because there are
(21:12):
family members and friends. They need your attention, they need
your presence, and you want to show them that you
care about them and that you appreciate them. When I'm
(21:33):
in the public and I'm around a lot of strangers,
I pay close attention just to observe how people function
and I have a habit of doing that. I'm not
judging people. I observe to see how they function because
I like to learn about human behavior. And one of
the things I noticed when I'm in the public is
(21:54):
that I can easily feel when someone is going through
something really, really bad. And when I feel that, I
always try to say something positive to that person so
that they could feel better. Like, for an example, one day,
I was out eating and this young lady, she was
(22:17):
my waitress at the table, and she came to the
table and she said hello, and she was very pre
very pleasant, and ray present at the moment, paying attention
to everything in the room, being attenive to the table
and who I was with. She was, you know, she
was great, but she was going through something. So she
(22:41):
was asking did we want some water and all that
good stuff. And during that time I stopped and I
said how are you today? And she said I'm fine,
you know, I said, are you sure? She said yeah.
So she served us and she took good care of
us at the table. But before I left, I said
(23:02):
to her, you can still go to college, you can
still live your dreams, you can still do the things
you've always wanted to do. And she looked at me
and she smiled, and she said something like I was
thinking about that earlier today. I didn't know what she
was thinking about. But for some reason, as I stated,
(23:23):
I started paying attention to how she looked. And I
just since that there was something wrong and so she
had a lot on her mind. That was the whole
point of the conversation and the exchange that me and
her had, and so I just said a few words
of encouragement, and in that moment, I was reminded, make
(23:46):
sure you pay attention, pay attention to people engaged to
learn and understand. And I'm not saying you got to
meet every need, but you should pay attention. And for
the people that we are closely connected to, we have
to show them appreciation, yes we do. Children show your
(24:14):
parents appreciation. Parents show your children appreciation. Friends, husband's wives.
We have to show people that they are important. It
is also important to check in consistently with loved ones.
(24:37):
Don't wait for a crisis to show that you care.
That's right. Don't wait for a crisis to show that
you care. When I'm finished with this episode today, I
have to call and check in with some family members.
That's right. I have to check in. I call them,
I text them, how are you doing. I'm reminded to
(24:58):
do that. Some days I wake up and I text
about ten to fifteen people and say good morning, I
love you. If I don't text good morning, I love you,
sometimes I will send an encouraging song to them. That's
what I do with my friends and my family members,
because it's important to check and consistently. When my mother
(25:20):
was alive, she used to tell me all the time.
She says, Shrey, you don't know what's going to happen
in a day. For those of you that don't know
my real name, my name is shrey As be Favor,
but my name is Shrey Okay, So check in consistently.
(25:42):
Don't wait for a crisis. So my mom used to
always say, Shrey, don't let too many days go by
before you call me, because I you know, I'm working
and I'm busy, I'm doing things. Well, my daughter was
much younger, you know, I was just busy doing things,
and so my mom would not allow more than I
would say, three days to pass, and then she called
(26:03):
me and say where are you? What are you doing?
She will leave me a message where are you are?
You working, and so she reminded me, don't let more
than three days or we go by with that. I
was talking to me. She will always say that to me.
(26:24):
And I'm so grateful that my mom reminded me of
that because I carry that with me now to make
sure I'm constantly checking in one other So because my
mom will call me and text me and leave me messages,
it just it just let me know how important I
(26:47):
was to her at that time. You know, unfortunately my
mother is no longer here on the earth and I
miss her dearly. But she gave me something so valuable.
And this is why I'm talking to you about this. Now,
check in consistently. That's the point. Don't wait for a
(27:09):
crisis to show you care. That's right. I would also
so when my mom would tell me, you know, to call,
make sure I called. Of course I did it. I
make sure I called or she called me. And I
just thank God for that experience that she reminded me constantly,
(27:30):
Yes she did. Okay. Also, next one, make sure you
express appreciation verbally. A simple thank you means more than
you think. That's right, Express appreciation verbally. Somebody do something
for you, say thank you. Let them know that what
(27:53):
they did was thoughtful and caring. There's nothing wrong with
showing that. Always notice changing needs. Always notice changing needs
when it comes to your relationships, because people grow, people evolve,
(28:20):
and some people stay curious, and so notice changing needs.
What do I mean by noticing changing needs? Because when
a person grows month by month, year by year, they're
not the same, so their needs change. Or romantic relationships
(28:45):
understand that needs change, they're not the same. You could
be with somebody for three years and fifteen years later
their needs have changed. People don't stay the same. Unfortunately,
some peo people tend to think that some people stay
the same, but people don't. People change. Some people change
(29:08):
gradually over time, and then some people change a lot
over time. But notice changing needs because people grow and
people evolve. That's right. There's a lot to think about
when it comes to this topic, because I think that
(29:29):
when people feel appreciated, they feel more motivated to be
who they are and to show the good that they
can bring to the relationship. I think that when people
are discouraged and taking for granted, they don't want to
(29:51):
do much. They just step back and kind of turn
their emotions off. But when you show appreciation and you
express appreciation verbally, it encourages a person a lot, so
be mindful of that. The next one, be emotionally present.
(30:14):
Don't just hear and listen to a person, but engage
to connect with them. Be emotionally present. And I'm not
talking about being all vulnerable and all mushy, but those
of you that don't know what mushy means, it means
(30:35):
when someone is just really really really really vulnerable, extreme vulnerability.
There's nothing wrong with that. But I'm saying, be emotionally
present to connect, right, that's the first part. That's the
first point of connecting is being emotionally present, because if
(30:59):
you are not emotionally present, that means you are not
connected to that person. So it's important. All these things
I'm talking about is important because we want good relationships,
that's right, every single day. You don't want a bad relationship, right.
You don't want a bad marriage. You don't want a
(31:20):
bad relationship with your with your children, your co workers.
You want good relationships. You want to be an asset
and not a lot of liability. That's right. You want
to be an asset and not a liability, that's right. Next,
one office support and continual support. Office support and continual support.
(31:52):
And why should you offer support and show continual support
Because you want that person to simply know you are
there for them. You don't have to do anything special,
(32:12):
but just simply know that you are there for them.
It's a beautiful thing to know that somebody is there
for you when they offer support. You don't have to
do anything, but just simply be there for them. If
that person needs you, offer support because you are showing appreciation.
(32:39):
That's right. Appreciation works both ways. It's a reciprocal If
someone shows you appreciation, show it back. That's right. Give
honor to where honor is due, that's right. And give
without score, Oh, get without a score or keeping a score?
(33:06):
What does that mean? Don't think about it as if
don't think about giving as if they do something for me,
I'll do something for them. They do something for me,
I do something for them. No, that is not genuine
appreciation thrives in generosity from the heart because when someone
(33:26):
does something for you and you and you decide, excuse
me to do something for them, You decide to do
it because you genuinely want to do it from a
place of pure generosity. So give without keeping a score,
(33:48):
because that's how some people think. Oh they they did
this for me. Some I'm gonna do this for them.
Oh they want hear what they came with me. They
encouraged me, so I'm gonna encourage them. They did this,
so I'm gonna do that. Now. I'm not saying that
you shouldn't do certain things because a person has done
something for you. I'm not saying you shouldn't. But what
(34:09):
I'm saying is, don't keep a score like every time
this person does something, now you feel like you gotta
do something else, Not every time. That's my point. Next one,
don't minimize their needs. If it matters to them, it
matters if someone confides in you, don't minimize it. Let
(34:34):
them know they are important, no matter what it is.
Let them know that how they feel is important. Let
them know that whatever it is they're going through, it's important.
So don't minimize their needs. Build save communication. Why because
(35:01):
creating space for honest expression without judgment is very important.
Build safe communication because that's how you will build a
good relationship that expresses appreciation. Because we're talking about building
(35:26):
stronger relationships with intention. Appreciate what's needed. That's right. All
relationships should evolve over time to get better, not get worse.
We all have a responsibility to nurture our relationships with
(35:52):
our children. We all have to be mindful. We have
to be mindful of how important it is to restore
ties with family members. We have to appreciate the connections
we have with our friends, and we have to reactivate
(36:18):
our intentions because our intentions are good, right, because we
want and will maintain good relationships. Because for the rest
of our life we have to have relationships. So why
not keep it good? Why not be mindful of the
(36:38):
things that will help you to have good relationships. It's
not hard work. It's just being conscientious, mindful of what
is needed and what is not. That's right. The next tip,
(37:00):
reflect on your own needs. That's right. Reflect on your
own needs as well, because you can't forget about you
while you are giving to others. You can't forget about you. Right.
You matter in a relationship too, So reflect on your
own needs. Understand what you need, and as you understand
(37:24):
what you need, guess what you can have an expectation
of others, not to the point where you are going
around telling people what they got to do. No, that
expectation that you have, it should come from God. And
(37:46):
the reason why I say that is because when you
have certain needs, I believe only God can fulfill those needs.
I turn to God in prayer to make sure that
I'm thinking well. I turn to God in prayer to
make sure I examine my actions so that when I
(38:07):
come in contact with my friends, my families, my coworkers,
I make sure that I have the right spirit, the
right energy. Now I can't have a high expectation of
my daughter and think things like, oh, well, my daughter
(38:28):
treat me right, that I'm going to be happy. No,
I'm responsible for my own happiness. For the great friends
I have in my life, I'm still responsible for my
own happiness. I can't give that expectation to them. I
can't go to my siblings and expect that they will
make me happy. I am responsible for my own happiness.
(38:50):
I am responsible for that, and you have to be
responsible for that because deep connections and personal growth is important.
Self awareness is the path to growing as a individual,
(39:12):
and we all have to live intentionally in a direction
of doing the work to have healthy communication, to have
good relationships, to show love and respect to people and
(39:34):
just to be better. Right, It just feels good to
be better. It feels good to have value. It feels
good to just simply give to others all the things
that are filled with value. Because honoring the next person
(39:55):
is a beautiful thing because in return, someone will honor
you intentional and show love and show appreciation. Because it's important.
We can't walk around just thinking that bad behavior is
(40:16):
cool or it's good or it's okay. No, it's not. Bad.
Behavior destroys everything. It destroys relationships, it destroys love. If
you want more love, give more love. If you want
something good, give that which is good and become what
(40:37):
is good. Because we all have the responsibility to do
the work every single day. Yes, we do for the
rest of our lives. So on that note, I am
going to conclude this episode of as be Favorite Thinking Podcast.
(40:59):
I thank you so much for listening and tuning in.
I want to remind you once again if you would
like to take English lessons, public speaking lessons, any kind
of speaking enhancement or improvement, please go to icsbiz one
(41:19):
dot com and as B I Z the number one
I c s biz one dot com and you can
make an appointment and you can come in contact with
a very good teacher that is able to inspire you
and to help you to improve your speaking skills. I
(41:41):
thank you so much for tuning in to ask me
Favorite Thinking podcast, and if you need to reach me,
you can reach me at sbfavorite at yahoo dot com
via email. You can also find me on Facebook. You
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(42:04):
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(42:27):
or inspired in any way. Your friends, your family, the
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so much for listening, and you make sure you have
a very good day
Blessings and peace to you. This is s be Favorite
Thinking podcast and my name is SB Favor. How are
you doing today? It is Friday, Yes, it is July eighteenth,
twenty twenty five. Another wonderful day and another day to
be thankful. And as I always say, if you focus
(00:43):
on what is good, then you can project something good
to happen. Because if you are focusing on the negative things,
guess what, Nothing good comes from that. So focus on
what's good because when you focus on what is good,
it simply means that you are giving power for something
(01:05):
good to happen. You're giving energy to it, You're giving
power to something good that could possibly happen. That's right.
You don't want to focus on the negative things because
if you focus on the negative things, that means you
are giving power to that. So focus on what is
good today because it's a good day. We all have
something to be thankful for. We all have something we
(01:28):
could think about that's positive. That's right, we do, we do,
So focus on what is good. If you are out
there traveling about today, whatever it is you're doing today,
make sure you pray, make sure you stay focused, and
make sure you pray. And if you are in the public,
make sure you are not distracted by being on your
(01:51):
cel phone too much, because a lot of us are
out in the public and we are on our cell
phones and we're not paying attention. Yes we are, So
make sure you are focused, make sure you pray, and
make sure you are not distracted by being on your
cell phone too much when you are in the public. Okay.
(02:11):
I always remind you of these things because I care.
If you would like to give to the podcast, you
can give at cash app dalassan as be favor, or
you can give at NMO at SB favor. Once again,
if you would like to give to the podcast, you
can give at cash shap dala san As be favor,
(02:34):
or you can give at NMO and that's the symbol
at s B favor. Okay, all right, thank you so
much for your support and your donations. And also I
want to remind you if you would like to support
Feeding America, please go to their website and learn more
about the organization that provides food for families across the
nation and the US. Please go to Feeding America dot org. Okay, again,
(03:00):
if you would like to support Feeding America, it's a
great organization. That provides food for families across the nation,
go to their website. If you want to learn more
about them, go to their website at Videoamerica dot org.
And lastly, if you would like to take English lessons
or public speaking lessons, if you would like to just
(03:23):
enhance your level of speaking when it comes to public speaking,
or just being more confident according to how you speak,
you can take English lessons, you can take public speaking lessons,
and you can find out more at ICs biz one
dot com. Once again, if you would like to take
(03:44):
English lessons, public speaking lessons, if you want to be
more confident when you speak, when you get presentations, and
all of that good stuff, just go to the website
ICs and s bz one dot com ICs biz one come. Yes,
you can find out all you need to find out
(04:07):
on that website. Okay, all right, So the title of
this episode is appreciate what's needed building stronger relationships with
intention Yes, I'm going to repeat that again, appreciate what's
(04:28):
needed building or build stronger relationships with intentions. We all
need to build better relationships. It doesn't matter how old
you are or how young you are. For the rest
of your life, you're going to be in a relationship
with somebody. That's right, relationship with your parents, relationship with
(04:53):
your friends. We were created to have relationships. We were
not created so that could just be alone and solo
every day, all day, all the time. If you're at work,
you have relationships. When you are traveling about, you develop
relationships with strangers. When you are in school, college, high school,
(05:16):
middle school, whatever level you are at in your life.
When it comes to environments, you will have relationships. You
will build relationships, and so it is important to know
what you need to do in order to have a
(05:37):
good relationship because building stronger relationships within tension has a
good foundation because you will know what to do that's right.
You will know what to do because all of us
have to do the work in order to grow. We
all have a responsibility to grow every single day we
(06:00):
wake up. We have a responsibility to grow so that
we can become an asset and not a liability. If
you want to have good relationships that help you, that
will help you to be a better person, that will
help you to just grow and help the people that
(06:21):
you're connected to to help them to grow. It's better
to know what to do, so that's what I'm going
to talk about. I'm going to talk about how to
stay connected and how to communicate and what you should
do in the midst of misunderstanding, because we've all been misunderstood, right,
(06:42):
We've all we've all going through that. We have all
going through that. But first, I want to say that
in every relationship, when it comes to siblings, parents, and
the people that we meet first in our life, that
(07:02):
immediate family, right, we have to understand who we're talking to.
We have to understand if we care enough about that
next person, if we're not being selfish. We should understand
who we're talking to. And when you understand who you
are talking to, by engaging and listening more to that person,
you will understand that individual's emotional needs. Because everyone expresses
(07:29):
and receives love differently, right, So by paying attention to
know what that person needs, that simply means you are
learning about how to express love to them. Yes, you
are learning about how to express love when you learn
(07:52):
and understand the emotional needs of another person. Now I'm
talking about immediate family. Right now, I'm going to move
on to the romantic side, Okay, because I know some
of y'all waiting for me to get to that. So,
but I want to talk about parenting, relationships and siblings
(08:14):
and all that stuff. So, your core family, your immediate family,
the people that you have a relationship with first, your parents,
your siblings. They are the first people we meet when
we come into this life, and so we have to
learn about who we are communicating with, who we are
dealing with, who is this person? Quite naturally, you know,
(08:36):
when you're a young child, you know, all this stuff
doesn't really really count, right because it's more on a
parent than the child. But once you become of age,
we have a responsibility to learn about who our parents are,
and the parents have a responsibility to learn and know
(08:57):
who are who our children are. Right, So we do
that by understanding their emotional needs. Now, for a person
that is then a romantic relationship, you have the responsibility
to do the same thing because if you don't understand
a person's emotional needs, then how can you relate to them. Now,
(09:22):
I'm not saying that you have to meet every emotional
need of every person you in a relationship. Would That's
not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this engage
with the person enough to understand who they are. Understand
something about who they are so that you can make
the adjustment to be what they need in a minute
(09:46):
or the time that you are dealing with that person. Right,
sometimes it's best to just not sometimes, but all the time,
it is best to engage, pay attention and listen more,
and then you will learn more. Husbands, ask instead of assuming.
(10:13):
Unfortunately a lot of us have done that. We have
assumed something without asking. We should never do that. Unfortunately,
some people have a habit of harboring negative emotions because
they have assumed something. The word harboring or harbor that
(10:34):
word has uh. It is defined by holding feelings in.
You don't need holding feelings in, just holding holding the
feelings in, not expressing what you feel or thinking about
one thing, and just holding on to it without releasing
it or expressing it. That's what harboring means. Harbor or harboring. Okay,
(10:58):
I just paraphrase that definite for those of you that
are heavily addicted to the dictionary. So as I was saying,
it's best to ask instead of assuming, because good communication
is very, very vital to every relationship. Because if you
are walking around harboring negative emotions without asking, and you're
(11:24):
just assuming. That means you're just holding onto something thinking
that somebody's going to just guess what you are going through.
And that person is not going to do that. The
next person is not going to do that. So you
need to ask questions and not assume because clarity brings
(11:46):
more connection. That's right. If you ask a question, if
you have a problem, you should ask a question. But
if you're one of those people and you just walk around,
if you're just walking around horroring, harboring negative emotions and
negative feelings, the next person can be responsible for what
(12:08):
you are thinking if you haven't asked a question, that's right.
We all have the responsibility to make sure that we
release what we feel. Now. I know some people say
things like, well, you have to pick and choose when
it's when's the when is the right time to talk
(12:28):
about certain things? Well, guess what, if you don't want
to talk about something, just don't carry that negative thought
or that negative, negative energy with it, because if you're
walking around with the negative thought and you're walking around
with just bad negative emotions, other people can feel that
(12:54):
if you don't want to talk about something that's bothering
you then make sure you are still being loving, still
being caring, but don't walk around with this bad attitude
and negative thoughts and your face doesn't look happy, and
people that see you they know something is wrong. And
then when somebody asks you what's wrong, you say, oh, nothing,
(13:15):
You just lie, You just lie. So tell the truth.
If something is wrong, express how you feel. And I
know unfortunately some people they have anger issues, but guess
what you need to control that because you should always
ask instead of assuming something, because if you assume something,
(13:39):
that means you're just making yourself mad over nothing. You
have to communicate how you feel and get rid of
what you don't need. Because if you're thinking a negative thought,
and if you ask the question, the person could possibly
answer your question, and then all of the things that
you were thinking you could just get rid of. You won't,
(14:03):
you don't you won't need it. In other words, thinking
negative without having a problem resolved is wasteful. Thinking. You
don't even have to think negative if you ask a question.
Because clarity brings connection. Yes, it does recognize silent efforts,
(14:27):
and what does that mean? Recognize solid efforts when you
recognize solid not solid? Silent? Silent not solid silent. When
you recognize silent efforts. I'm talking about those small things
(14:48):
that people do, show appreciation. That's right for all relationships,
work relationships, marriages, parents, children, When you see that someone
does something really small, those silent efforts, those things that
some people may not notice, show appreciation, appreciate what's done
(15:15):
without being asked. When you show appreciation and your relationships.
For an example, if a child is continually showing appreciation
to that parent that does their largely and cooks their food,
and they do all these things to let their parent
(15:38):
know I appreciate you. That's a beautiful thing as a
parent to experience. Because as a parent, when your child
or children show you that they appreciate you, it just
encourages you to do more. And if you are a wife,
if you show your husband appreciation, it will encourage him
(15:59):
to do more. It will encourage them to just be
more excited, to be more kind. Oh yes, if you
are a friend, show your friends that you appreciate them,
because we all could use encouragement. We all can use it.
(16:24):
So don't let something not be appreciated, but appreciate everything.
Be grateful for everything. I'm not saying you got to
constantly show it. But what I'm saying is don't don't
look at it. Don't look at something that someone is
(16:45):
doing and take it for granted. Don't look at it
like it's like you're supposed to like somebody's supposed to
do something for you. But what I'm saying is this,
just show appreciation to the people you love. Because when
you show appreciation to the people that you love, that
is a good way to build a good relationship because
(17:12):
by showing appreciation, you are allowing that person to know
that you are thankful. That's right, because building stronger relationships
with intention is very necessary. It's necessary. We get this
(17:33):
one life to live here on the earth. Why not
make it good. You should make it good. That's right.
Listen always without trying to fix everything. Sometimes people just
want to be heard. Now, I know that's a difficult
(17:55):
thing for some people, and I'm counting myself that because
I'm not one of those people that want to listen
to everything. Now, let me explain that if you are
speaking positive about something, and you are speaking positive about
the solution, and if you tell me you feel a
(18:15):
certain way, but now you feel better and you are
speaking in a positive way, about how you are changing
the situation, or if you are going through something and
you are doing better, I can listen to that. But
I don't want to listen to somebody that's just talking
(18:36):
negative upun negative and punnegative and negative and negative, and
I don't want to listen to that. But you can
listen to someone when they need to be heard, you
can listen to them. But if they're talking negative and
they don't want to get to the solution, now that's different.
But it is important to just listen without fixing. Okay,
(19:02):
it is important because once again, you want to let
that person know you appreciate them. So listen without fixing
is a way to just let that person vent, let
that person speak, and you can just listen to what
(19:23):
they have to say. But like I said, if that
person is speaking negative and they don't they're not speaking
in any direction of the solution, that's a problem. But
I would still listen, but at some point I would
try to encourage them at the same time. Yes, but
(19:44):
you can listen without fixing because you want to show
that person that you appreciate them. Respect Timing and space
needs aren't always urgent. What they matter, that's right, certain
needs aren't always urgent, but they matter. Don't ever think
(20:07):
that a need does not matter. It may not be urgent,
but don't think that it doesn't matter. You want to
be mindful of the needs of others in relationships. You
want to be mindful and consider it. If your coworker
(20:28):
is looking really, really sad and you just walk by
her desk and you're not going to say anything to
help her, You're not going to say anything to encourage her.
You don't have to know her personal business, but you
could say something to encourage her. Oh, yes you can.
So we should always respect timing and space because needs
(20:52):
aren't always urgent, but they matter. They matter. So all
of us are busys. We're going about our days and
we're doing whatever we have to do, school work, and
everybody's just busy. But sometimes you just got to slow
down and pay attention. Gotta pay attention because there are
(21:12):
family members and friends. They need your attention, they need
your presence, and you want to show them that you
care about them and that you appreciate them. When I'm
(21:33):
in the public and I'm around a lot of strangers,
I pay close attention just to observe how people function
and I have a habit of doing that. I'm not
judging people. I observe to see how they function because
I like to learn about human behavior. And one of
the things I noticed when I'm in the public is
(21:54):
that I can easily feel when someone is going through
something really, really bad. And when I feel that, I
always try to say something positive to that person so
that they could feel better. Like, for an example, one day,
I was out eating and this young lady, she was
(22:17):
my waitress at the table, and she came to the
table and she said hello, and she was very pre
very pleasant, and ray present at the moment, paying attention
to everything in the room, being attenive to the table
and who I was with. She was, you know, she
was great, but she was going through something. So she
(22:41):
was asking did we want some water and all that
good stuff. And during that time I stopped and I
said how are you today? And she said I'm fine,
you know, I said, are you sure? She said yeah.
So she served us and she took good care of
us at the table. But before I left, I said
(23:02):
to her, you can still go to college, you can
still live your dreams, you can still do the things
you've always wanted to do. And she looked at me
and she smiled, and she said something like I was
thinking about that earlier today. I didn't know what she
was thinking about. But for some reason, as I stated,
(23:23):
I started paying attention to how she looked. And I
just since that there was something wrong and so she
had a lot on her mind. That was the whole
point of the conversation and the exchange that me and
her had, and so I just said a few words
of encouragement, and in that moment, I was reminded, make
(23:46):
sure you pay attention, pay attention to people engaged to
learn and understand. And I'm not saying you got to
meet every need, but you should pay attention. And for
the people that we are closely connected to, we have
to show them appreciation, yes we do. Children show your
(24:14):
parents appreciation. Parents show your children appreciation. Friends, husband's wives.
We have to show people that they are important. It
is also important to check in consistently with loved ones.
(24:37):
Don't wait for a crisis to show that you care.
That's right. Don't wait for a crisis to show that
you care. When I'm finished with this episode today, I
have to call and check in with some family members.
That's right. I have to check in. I call them,
I text them, how are you doing. I'm reminded to
(24:58):
do that. Some days I wake up and I text
about ten to fifteen people and say good morning, I
love you. If I don't text good morning, I love you,
sometimes I will send an encouraging song to them. That's
what I do with my friends and my family members,
because it's important to check and consistently. When my mother
(25:20):
was alive, she used to tell me all the time.
She says, Shrey, you don't know what's going to happen
in a day. For those of you that don't know
my real name, my name is shrey As be Favor,
but my name is Shrey Okay, So check in consistently.
(25:42):
Don't wait for a crisis. So my mom used to
always say, Shrey, don't let too many days go by
before you call me, because I you know, I'm working
and I'm busy, I'm doing things. Well, my daughter was
much younger, you know, I was just busy doing things,
and so my mom would not allow more than I
would say, three days to pass, and then she called
(26:03):
me and say where are you? What are you doing?
She will leave me a message where are you are?
You working, and so she reminded me, don't let more
than three days or we go by with that. I
was talking to me. She will always say that to me.
(26:24):
And I'm so grateful that my mom reminded me of
that because I carry that with me now to make
sure I'm constantly checking in one other So because my
mom will call me and text me and leave me messages,
it just it just let me know how important I
(26:47):
was to her at that time. You know, unfortunately my
mother is no longer here on the earth and I
miss her dearly. But she gave me something so valuable.
And this is why I'm talking to you about this. Now,
check in consistently. That's the point. Don't wait for a
(27:09):
crisis to show you care. That's right. I would also
so when my mom would tell me, you know, to call,
make sure I called. Of course I did it. I
make sure I called or she called me. And I
just thank God for that experience that she reminded me constantly,
(27:30):
Yes she did. Okay. Also, next one, make sure you
express appreciation verbally. A simple thank you means more than
you think. That's right, Express appreciation verbally. Somebody do something
for you, say thank you. Let them know that what
(27:53):
they did was thoughtful and caring. There's nothing wrong with
showing that. Always notice changing needs. Always notice changing needs
when it comes to your relationships, because people grow, people evolve,
(28:20):
and some people stay curious, and so notice changing needs.
What do I mean by noticing changing needs? Because when
a person grows month by month, year by year, they're
not the same, so their needs change. Or romantic relationships
(28:45):
understand that needs change, they're not the same. You could
be with somebody for three years and fifteen years later
their needs have changed. People don't stay the same. Unfortunately,
some peo people tend to think that some people stay
the same, but people don't. People change. Some people change
(29:08):
gradually over time, and then some people change a lot
over time. But notice changing needs because people grow and
people evolve. That's right. There's a lot to think about
when it comes to this topic, because I think that
(29:29):
when people feel appreciated, they feel more motivated to be
who they are and to show the good that they
can bring to the relationship. I think that when people
are discouraged and taking for granted, they don't want to
(29:51):
do much. They just step back and kind of turn
their emotions off. But when you show appreciation and you
express appreciation verbally, it encourages a person a lot, so
be mindful of that. The next one, be emotionally present.
(30:14):
Don't just hear and listen to a person, but engage
to connect with them. Be emotionally present. And I'm not
talking about being all vulnerable and all mushy, but those
of you that don't know what mushy means, it means
(30:35):
when someone is just really really really really vulnerable, extreme vulnerability.
There's nothing wrong with that. But I'm saying, be emotionally
present to connect, right, that's the first part. That's the
first point of connecting is being emotionally present, because if
(30:59):
you are not emotionally present, that means you are not
connected to that person. So it's important. All these things
I'm talking about is important because we want good relationships,
that's right, every single day. You don't want a bad relationship, right.
You don't want a bad marriage. You don't want a
(31:20):
bad relationship with your with your children, your co workers.
You want good relationships. You want to be an asset
and not a lot of liability. That's right. You want
to be an asset and not a liability, that's right. Next,
one office support and continual support. Office support and continual support.
(31:52):
And why should you offer support and show continual support
Because you want that person to simply know you are
there for them. You don't have to do anything special,
(32:12):
but just simply know that you are there for them.
It's a beautiful thing to know that somebody is there
for you when they offer support. You don't have to
do anything, but just simply be there for them. If
that person needs you, offer support because you are showing appreciation.
(32:39):
That's right. Appreciation works both ways. It's a reciprocal If
someone shows you appreciation, show it back. That's right. Give
honor to where honor is due, that's right. And give
without score, Oh, get without a score or keeping a score?
(33:06):
What does that mean? Don't think about it as if
don't think about giving as if they do something for me,
I'll do something for them. They do something for me,
I do something for them. No, that is not genuine
appreciation thrives in generosity from the heart because when someone
(33:26):
does something for you and you and you decide, excuse
me to do something for them, You decide to do
it because you genuinely want to do it from a
place of pure generosity. So give without keeping a score,
(33:48):
because that's how some people think. Oh they they did
this for me. Some I'm gonna do this for them.
Oh they want hear what they came with me. They
encouraged me, so I'm gonna encourage them. They did this,
so I'm gonna do that. Now. I'm not saying that
you shouldn't do certain things because a person has done
something for you. I'm not saying you shouldn't. But what
(34:09):
I'm saying is, don't keep a score like every time
this person does something, now you feel like you gotta
do something else, Not every time. That's my point. Next one,
don't minimize their needs. If it matters to them, it
matters if someone confides in you, don't minimize it. Let
(34:34):
them know they are important, no matter what it is.
Let them know that how they feel is important. Let
them know that whatever it is they're going through, it's important.
So don't minimize their needs. Build save communication. Why because
(35:01):
creating space for honest expression without judgment is very important.
Build safe communication because that's how you will build a
good relationship that expresses appreciation. Because we're talking about building
(35:26):
stronger relationships with intention. Appreciate what's needed. That's right. All
relationships should evolve over time to get better, not get worse.
We all have a responsibility to nurture our relationships with
(35:52):
our children. We all have to be mindful. We have
to be mindful of how important it is to restore
ties with family members. We have to appreciate the connections
we have with our friends, and we have to reactivate
(36:18):
our intentions because our intentions are good, right, because we
want and will maintain good relationships. Because for the rest
of our life we have to have relationships. So why
not keep it good? Why not be mindful of the
(36:38):
things that will help you to have good relationships. It's
not hard work. It's just being conscientious, mindful of what
is needed and what is not. That's right. The next tip,
(37:00):
reflect on your own needs. That's right. Reflect on your
own needs as well, because you can't forget about you
while you are giving to others. You can't forget about you. Right.
You matter in a relationship too, So reflect on your
own needs. Understand what you need, and as you understand
(37:24):
what you need, guess what you can have an expectation
of others, not to the point where you are going
around telling people what they got to do. No, that
expectation that you have, it should come from God. And
(37:46):
the reason why I say that is because when you
have certain needs, I believe only God can fulfill those needs.
I turn to God in prayer to make sure that
I'm thinking well. I turn to God in prayer to
make sure I examine my actions so that when I
(38:07):
come in contact with my friends, my families, my coworkers,
I make sure that I have the right spirit, the
right energy. Now I can't have a high expectation of
my daughter and think things like, oh, well, my daughter
(38:28):
treat me right, that I'm going to be happy. No,
I'm responsible for my own happiness. For the great friends
I have in my life, I'm still responsible for my
own happiness. I can't give that expectation to them. I
can't go to my siblings and expect that they will
make me happy. I am responsible for my own happiness.
(38:50):
I am responsible for that, and you have to be
responsible for that because deep connections and personal growth is important.
Self awareness is the path to growing as a individual,
(39:12):
and we all have to live intentionally in a direction
of doing the work to have healthy communication, to have
good relationships, to show love and respect to people and
(39:34):
just to be better. Right, It just feels good to
be better. It feels good to have value. It feels
good to just simply give to others all the things
that are filled with value. Because honoring the next person
(39:55):
is a beautiful thing because in return, someone will honor
you intentional and show love and show appreciation. Because it's important.
We can't walk around just thinking that bad behavior is
(40:16):
cool or it's good or it's okay. No, it's not. Bad.
Behavior destroys everything. It destroys relationships, it destroys love. If
you want more love, give more love. If you want
something good, give that which is good and become what
(40:37):
is good. Because we all have the responsibility to do
the work every single day. Yes, we do for the
rest of our lives. So on that note, I am
going to conclude this episode of as be Favorite Thinking Podcast.
(40:59):
I thank you so much for listening and tuning in.
I want to remind you once again if you would
like to take English lessons, public speaking lessons, any kind
of speaking enhancement or improvement, please go to icsbiz one
(41:19):
dot com and as B I Z the number one
I c s biz one dot com and you can
make an appointment and you can come in contact with
a very good teacher that is able to inspire you
and to help you to improve your speaking skills. I
(41:41):
thank you so much for tuning in to ask me
Favorite Thinking podcast, and if you need to reach me,
you can reach me at sbfavorite at yahoo dot com
via email. You can also find me on Facebook. You
can find me on Instagram, TikTok, you can find me
on go Apple Podcasts. Make sure you subscribe to me
(42:04):
wherever you listen to podcasts, subscribe to a YouTube channel,
click like, leave me some feedback, and also if you
need to ask any questions, feel free to go to
my sb Favorite Thinking Facebook page, send me a direct
message or send me an email. Make sure you share
this podcast with others if someone needs to be encouraged
(42:27):
or inspired in any way. Your friends, your family, the
co workers, share this podcast with others. I thank you
so much for listening, and you make sure you have
a very good day
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