October 25, 2023 • 37 mins
Chris and Jess continue their look at Animal Planet's found footage horror anthology series that often misses but sometimes lands its cryptids subject matter: Lost Tapes. This episode focuses on the Quetzlcoatl.
You can follow Chris Stachiw @Casualty_Chris, Jess Byard @writerjessbyard, and the podcast @ScaryStoriesWT. Alex Malnack of Blondo provides the music for the podcast; that track is "Stay Here." The album artwork is provided by Maggie the Odd.
For more episodes of Scary Stories We Tell along with many more podcasts that are guaranteed to be your new favorite audio obsession, check out Weirding Way Media at weirdingwaymedia.com.
You can follow Chris Stachiw @Casualty_Chris, Jess Byard @writerjessbyard, and the podcast @ScaryStoriesWT. Alex Malnack of Blondo provides the music for the podcast; that track is "Stay Here." The album artwork is provided by Maggie the Odd.
For more episodes of Scary Stories We Tell along with many more podcasts that are guaranteed to be your new favorite audio obsession, check out Weirding Way Media at weirdingwaymedia.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:46):
There are creatures science refuses to recognize. If I see it, if our
cameras capture it, does it exist? Do you believe? Hello everyone,
and welcome to yet another episode ofScary Stories. We tell I am your
host, Christashu, and I'm joinedon this Lost Tapes chronic. As we
speed towards the end, we downhill. These last couple episodes get to the
end of this mess. My goodfriend and yours artist among ten plan Plantasia
(01:11):
enjoyer as my son Mort Garson fanMaggie, the Hey gang. How's it
going? I love mort Garson atleast Plantasia. Oh my god. If
you've never listened to Plantasia, it'sa vinyl album that's music for plants.
Yeah, only listen to it ifyou're a plant, otherwise get the fuck
out. Or if you're high ongrass. Well, I think that still
(01:33):
cows looks kind of like a swampthing scenario. Are you a plant?
Bro, Bro me in the groundand I will grow. All I need
is sunlight. I got everything andwater, dude. Yeah, oh definitely
stay hydrated. Yeah, oh yeah, my god. Maggie. On this
episode of the Lost Age Chronicles,we're talking about qu a certain god not
(01:56):
Q from James Bond, not Qfrom Star Trek, not cue from anything
that you care about. They don'teven want to put its entire name in
the title. We're talking about spellit. Yeah, that's probably what it
is. We're talking about Ketziquado yepsay. Episode aired October twenty six to
twenty ten, and it's about ketzequattal, but not really. It's about some
ritualistic murders in Mexico City taking place, and I guess they're sacrificing people to
(02:21):
ketzl quado. Now, many ofyou who are not you know as tech,
will be asking yourselves, what iskettel quatdal? What does ketz alquatta
mean? What is what is Whyis ketzel quatdal? Well, kets al
quattal roughly translated means precious serpent orketzel feathered serpent in ketzl Quatdal is essentially
you know who Yorman Gunder is inNorse mythology, the world serpent. Ketzel
(02:45):
Quattal is the Aztec equivalent Hell.Yes, Orman Thunder. Yorman Gunder is
not a evil spirit. No,ketzel Quato is not an evil spirit,
not even close. No, heis the world serpent. He is often
portrayed as a snake with a withfeathers. Yeah, and kind of a
(03:07):
I don't know how to explain itother than it kind of looks like a
dragon's head, but it's a it'sa snake head. I mean, there's
all kinds of different interpretations of theof ketzl quaddle, So again, you
know, really good design. Honestly, it's one of my favorite things to
get. Should McCarthy ten say,my fellow nerds, I mean, Jesus
(03:29):
Christ, you know, I don'tknow many of you play smite out there.
Well here kuckle Khan is just likekekukle Kan is the Mayan version of
ketzel Quaddle. But ketzl Quadda isnot a evil being. I just want
to get this out there before webecause boy do they lean on that boy.
(03:51):
Yeah. So in this episode,yeah, it is essentially the enigma
KRP dipshits once again. At leastMooney and Noel are called. Yeah,
are called to Mexico City to investigateritualistic murders. The cold open involves a
tourist whose vo is completely definitely notRedone because it totally doesn't seem like it
(04:13):
meshes with anything. Pet it's sonatural with the outdoors too, so clean.
Honestly, they found the one daywhere there's no wind. Yeah,
it's it's really funny. They likethey have them shooting at Teoti wa Khan
and then it's like what is thisand the woman goes it's too TiO Wakhan
and then it's like all the ambientsound cuts out and it's just like clearly
vo recorded in the studio somewhere.Yes, yeah, it's really noticing.
(04:35):
But for whatever reason, this uh, this tourist goes to this train depot
where he thinks that there is goingto be some more ruins. There aren't,
and he goes into the top ofthis train depot and it's a giant
nest and he gets eaten by somethingbaby or sacrifice to Ketchel Quaddle, it's
not a desert worm, I knowwhat everybody's thinking. It's not the death
(04:58):
worm. Right, So then wepick up the Enigma Corp dipshits and what
do we get. We have themin Mexico investigating ritualistic murders that may or
may not have to do with Ketzlquadoand that's almost all of the episode.
Yeah, it's just them doing apoor rendition of a shittier version of Temple
of Doo. Temple of Doo.Oh, it's just the ritualistic aspects.
(05:21):
It's that shitty version. Man.I mean, you got the pyramids,
you got the wacky backdrop, there'sa bunch of knives and shit. Yeah,
yeah, there is this whole god. So they're they're trying to figure
out where the ritualistic murders are takingplace. And they have this informant who
has this knife that they need becauseit's a special knife to use in the
(05:43):
sacrifices to ketcel Quado. Yeah,because that was one of the few facts
that they could glean that sounded nefariousfrom the history of Queticado. You know,
is used an obsidian knife, andwe all know Obsidians like a Satanist
gemstone. Well, and again,I mean, it looks cool, and
it looks cool. It seems itseems really it seems old world. It
(06:09):
seems like it works with the timeand the place of what kettl Quadda is.
But the issue, the issue iskind of a different one. It's
like, what does this have todo with ketzl Quadda. No, My
favorite issue about this is is thisis not a cryptid in the weirdest way,
like what's our next cryptid? Jesusright, like it's intact from the
(06:30):
dead. It's yeah, I don'tunderstand, like this is a this is
a god, this is a deityin Aztec culture. Yeah, this is
someone that people like pray to andonce again not even got him. He's
a god of wind, he's youknow, like what it writes, what
character is this? Like, Idon't under I don't what's weird is I
(06:50):
don't understand what the fuck they werethinking. No, once I genuinely don't
understand, Like they have so manybig snake episodes, you don't need another
big snake. And I would contendthat's not even what this is. I
know, I know, because whatwe see is essentially a tera deck a
(07:11):
bit yeah, or I don't knowwhat it is. Frankly, this is
well, it was very ambiguous,blurry and dark. I can see where
they kind of got the snake vibesgoing. But my main thing is the
big difference on this big snake toall other big snakes. We didn't even
fucking wings, like they have hadepisodes with big birds and all they do
is the woosh sounds they didn't evengive us a courtesy woosh, Chris.
(07:34):
No, that's what I don't understand. Like, this is the god of
wind. This is a giant serpentgod. We feathered serpent god who helped
create the world as the as techsaw. And where do they get any
of this shit from? Is myquestion. They literally said it must be.
They said it must Okay, sowe have this idea there's this giant
(07:57):
feathered snake god in this tech culture, so why don't we do like a
ritualistic murder thing with that. Butthat is not this show. It has
never been. This shout a leftfield unless there was specifically a cryptid that
could be like summoned or something likeif you did demons, I would have
an easier time. This is justan Aztec god that has no business being
(08:22):
on a cryptid list. Walk methrough, what are we going to read
this to? You? You tellme who. According to the Book of
Mormon, Oh Boy, the resurrectedJesus Christ descended from heaven and visited people
of the American continent shortly after hisresurrection. Some followers of the Latter day
Saints movement believe that kets A Quaddawas historically Jesus Christ, but believe his
(08:43):
name and the details of the eventwere gradually lost over time. Wow,
you tugged me for a ride,Sir, I was not expecting to get
in that car. BET's a quaddleis not a religious symbol in the Latter
Day Saints' fate and is not taughtas such, nor is it in their
doctrine that ketz Alquadal Jesus. However, in eighteen ninety two, John Taylor,
one of the presidents of the faith, wrote the story of the life
(09:05):
of the Mexican difinity. Kettlquaddle closelyclosely resembles that of the Savior, so
closely indeed, that we come tono other conclusion that kettl Quaddle and Christ
are the same being. But thehistory of the former has been handed down
to us through an impure Lamantish sourcewhich is sadly disfigured and perverted the original
incidents and teachings the Savior's life andministry. It's impressive, Chris, who
(09:26):
would have thought that the Mormons hadthe answer for why Quetzelcadal and Jesus are
kryptis They're clearly the same creature.It's like it's like a larger scale skin
walker. It's like a god's skinwalker. Chris, I don't understand.
It's impressive. I don't understand atall. I want to write God fan
(09:48):
fiction. What the fuck that?I didn't realize that that could be an
occupation since eighteen whenever? Yeah,wow, I what? Well? Yeah,
Like I'm okay. I kind ofwish that that was the episode.
It was just they open, It'sjust open with that statement and nothing else,
Like, you don't even have toshow Jesus, just have somebody read
(10:11):
that instead of the intro and boom, just be thinking about it for twenty
minutes and then it cuts to adifferent show because time's up. Well,
and that's the thing for me aboutall of this is you were joking before
we talked about this whole Jesus isketzlguaddle thing. You joked like, what
are they going to do next?Jesus? Like, yeah, that is
kind of what That's exactly what thatis. They're saying it's the same,
(10:33):
well, they're saying it's the same, but also, like what we've mentioned
before, and we'll say, andI will say it again, where is
the loch Ness Monster episode? Oh, he's a bear, is repeating.
Apparently, now he is Jesus too, it bears repeating. Where is that
episode? Wa? This is likewe've talked about this before where the show
(10:54):
kind of with Poltergeist, right,it kind of felt like it was reaching
double Monkey. You weren't here forthat one that was again reaching This is
like, it's it's just that's notwhat the conceit of the show was.
No, that's like somebody doing homeworkwithout realizing what the assignment was and then
you have to present it in frontof the class and they're like, well,
(11:15):
oh, my favorite cryptid is ques. It's like, well you you
you failed the assignment before you evenYeah, you failed the assignment from the
moment you started, and you're evenright like exactly, like you know,
there was always that one kid inschool, like you said, he was
like I'm going to do this onething, and it's like you got a
(11:35):
zero yeah, clearly and had tomake us sit through it. And you
know what the sad thing is,I believe they could have done a Kettle
Quadal episode. It could have.It could have done a lot better than
this. I don't know how.I think maybe you said it and like
me said it at the Museum ofNatural History in Mexico City, where the
(11:56):
Museum of History in Mexico City,and have it an angle of like an
artifact or something or something to thateffect. I don't know, but like
it could have gotten resurrected in themuseum. And it's just like smashing shit.
You don't even have to make thema nefarious thing, just a very
dangerous thing, because it's a flyinggiant snake, right, It's like Clifford
the Big Red Dog. There's goingto be some fallout. It's not just
(12:18):
one family being affected by this thing, right, Okay, Right, And
and that's and I don't know,like that's the problem there, because like
the stakes of the episode are thatCancel Quad comes back is kind of destroy
the world, and yet it rightback and nothing has happened, right,
It just killed some fucking Enigma Corp. Well didn't, right, right?
Yeah? Well, no, Istay did this? I guess I guess
(12:41):
they didn't even I guess it didn'tkill it didn't kill them that the people
did. Well, the snake lashedout at somebody at the end. I
think it. I don't. Thatwas very ambiguous. I think well,
I think the other issue I thinkoverall what this episode is. So the
bulk majority of theisode is set inthis kind of steakout van and they're waiting
(13:03):
for this guy to go talk tothis other guy and he's like, there
will be no tomorrow night, youknow, the world's gonna end and blah
blah. And then they're like,all right, well we know where we're
going now, and so they there'sthis weird scene where like the guy that
they're using threatens to kill the EnigmaCorp woman and then he runs off because
he realized how evil this place is. Right, this is Goose, That
(13:26):
is Goose like whatever. Fun.But then but then we get to the
end and it's taking place in thetrain depot where kettl Quadda is who they're
trying to summon but already exists andis alive. So what was what were
they what were they doing? What? Huh? Giving it some nums,
giving it some sneaky snacks so itcan live for another century. Well and
(13:48):
that's for our sins, Chris,Yeah, that's what what I don't understand
here is if they're trying to summonkettl quaddle kettl quatdal summoned at the end
of the episode, but they didn'tsucceed, or did they. But Kettlquatda
was there at the beginning of theepisode, and one is that a cryptid
for like fe's time. It makesyou ladies and gentlemen. Oh, I
(14:09):
know it drives me nuts where it'sjust absolutely absurd. But let me ask
you something. You remember when theAztec calendar ran out and everybody thought the
world was gonna end about what timewas that? That was twenty twelve,
okay, two years away, SoI can vaguely understand if they wanted to
do a quetz Ocado episode because ofthe hype because of the stupid calendars.
(14:33):
Yeah, but that but that nothingto do with the calendar syst I learned
more about the fucking Aztec calendar systemfrom the Book of Mormon that I did
from this episode, which is sayingquite apparently kett al quattle Mormon icon kettl
quatto, dude, See that makesme want to be a Mormon. That's
a cool god to have on yourside. But now when it's Jesus quetz
ocadle snake, Jesus speaking of thingsthat are named Mormon that are a good
(14:56):
Book of Mormon. Oh, yes, very much so. Joseph smeet American
Moses. So I've been told Idon't know what the connection to LDS is
all about. That's at first forme, I had never heard that before.
But my interpretation of kettl guattle isnot this episode, and I think
the episode knows that. And Ithink the episode tried to do something with
(15:20):
the idea of ketzl quattle that doesn'tspeak to or suit the narrative of ketzl
quaddle as we've been taught about itand or read about it online. You
know, this is like comprising aBuzzFeed quiz where they knew a popular topic
and they wanted to do serial killingor cult killing, and so they just
(15:41):
tried to jam them in the samething in hopes that it would kind of
stack and be popular just by associationof these two cool things. And it's
like it just doesn't drive, especiallywhen the leader of said non cult cult
is once again painfully what that again? You know, we we talked about
(16:02):
at the end of the last episode, like we were gonna have some words
about this episode. This is probablythe worst episode of the show. I
mean, it definitely makes me wantto punch somebody the most. I wouldn't
say it's the worst, but it'sup there because this makes no sense why
it was made narrative structure. Ican give it a pass because it vaguely
makes sense. It's still not good, and they kept it vague enough in
(16:22):
case they wanted to bring the stupidenigma. People that both simultaneously die and
keep living. They're crypted. They'reso memorable, you know what, They're
so memorable who even cares? Ohgosh, yeah, Connor and Mooney,
Connie on the shirt, Connie andConnie and KENI got biff chas Tin and
(16:45):
Tanner ce slammin. What is that? Is that? A? Is it
an appetizer Guy Fieri's restaurant? Yeah, appetizer that sigel And that's like that
we've been We were talking about BugsyMalone a couple of weeks ago, and
one of the character's name is Blouseysomething, and I said, Flossy Buggers.
(17:08):
I mean, it's just off flossybugger. It's damn flossy buggers.
If that ate a British drag queen, I'll be damned at young namemate full
of saint bgace Off flossy beggar.Eh, you are one flossy black app
It's it's gotten to the point withthis show. You know, I've been
(17:29):
podcasting now for a while some ofyou yes, and I've in my lifetime.
There are some things that stand outto me and some patterns that jump
out. I've done a fair amountof these anthology shows. Now we've closing
in on completing two anthology shows forsure, beginning to end, one of
the big Tales from the Crypt,the other one being the nineteen eighty five
Twilight Zone. This is an anthologyshow, you would agree, right,
(17:51):
yep, man, this is abad anthology show. Dude. It's unhinged.
I would even argue that it's notan anthology because all of these books
are just scattered across the library andnot in one tone. Well, and
that is the problem. There islike there's no unified idea here, and
it felt like in the first seasonthere really was. And you know it,
(18:12):
it's gotten to the point where theshow where, you know, like
with Tales from the Crypt and TwilightZone. By the end of the show,
I'm exhausted with the show because theshow has just the show has given
it has taken every opportunity to dothe least possible and or something so inane
and idiotic that it's shocking because youhave the Windgo episode, right, the
(18:34):
Windgo episode was great, Yeah,and then you watch this episode and you're
like, this is the same show, right, this this is I don't
want to say this is the worsttwenty two minutes of TV I've watched in
a long time, but it mightbe. It was just infuriating meandering.
Yeah, and then the payoff atthe end is laughable, laughable. That
(18:56):
ketzel quatdal puppet or whatever that's supposedto be, Like maybe CGI, but
I think it's a puppet. Ithink it's a practical effect. I think
they took that monster from that rememberthe episode where the guy like dies in
the water, like the old man'slike walking in the water. It feels
like they just took that puppet andstood it up. It looks like that
same bug eyed, weird craby design. I'm sure they had plenty of body
(19:21):
tubes from all the Giant Sneak episodesthey did too, right, Like it's
it's a it's a really crappy designfor a character, and like I got
a cryptid adjacent like mythology folklore.I thought they were totally gonna cop out
and just do like giant feathers anda big flap flap and that was it,
because that's what they've done in thepast, and it's been like,
(19:41):
ah, yeah, I guess thatwas the thing. Well, and that
is what I was expecting. Imean they did Thunderbird already, right,
exactly right, like they did Thunderbirdalready, Like I don't understand, you
know what you need to do ifyou're gonna do this shit again. I
would contend though, if you've doneThunderbird, why do this episode? Like
why it's the same? Do youdo that is ketzl quattle? Geez?
(20:04):
Who cares? Really, especially ifyou're not did he? No, that
was when the show still was nice. That was the first season dropped him
in a tree and it broke hisarm, broke some ship. Yeah,
but but like at the end ofthe day, like, what did that
have to do with Thunderbird? Nothing? What did this have to do with
kettledquattle? Nothing? So you couldhave swapped, Yeah, this could have
(20:26):
been a Thunderbird episode. What wouldit have mattered? Yeah, A little
leftover like some of the episodes haveand ship. You don't even see the
thunderbird in that episode. No,it's like shadows, yeah cgi shadow wooshes
right, And then I think didthey have did they do that? I
don't remember. No, I thinkI'm thinking of mon Nan, although that
one had like a straight up owlpellet man Nan yeah, owl me and
(20:49):
a manya owl may in a Man'sstill my favorite name. Like I wish
a cooler thing were called that.Wish a wrestler would called that, that'd
be my favorite wrestler. But god, by god, it's the Owlman of
Monan prepared to get pilloted. I'mgonna tear you apart, brother Man of
(21:12):
Money. His finisher is just calleduh, I don't know the talent drop
oh man reckon the church tonight.He does like he does. He does
like a you know how some wrestlersused to like a backscratch. That's what.
Oh yeah, totally it's ship outof their back. That's like,
that's a female wrestler, old coolfemale wrestler gag. But you do that
scratch the bag. Oh my goddess. The Monan drop kick sound, even
(21:38):
though it's just a different bird ingeneral, but they're gonna Now this is
like the nineties w W E bookingWWS. Oh yeah, we'd be champs.
You would be fighting it. Youwould be fighting a dentist and a
garbage man in a three way matchfor the hardcore Championship. Oh yeah,
he's the heel that everybody obviously lovesbecause the heroes suck and he's round sinner.
(22:00):
Dude, it's me, the owlman of mind. And eat your
rats and say your prayers. Brother, will be you accounted for? An
ask kickin? Yeah? Cats,this is just you know what? This
is the last Enigma Corp episode,By the way, is it really?
Oh? Thank god? So comewhat can we what can we really sit?
(22:22):
Well, they showed up in Strugoy, We're there, They showed up
in Zombie, and they showed upin this. Of those three, I
think the best is probably the Zombieepisode, which is saying a lot because
man, we we shot on thatone hard. Yeah, because that episode
was in and of itself dog shit, Yes it was. This season has
been overall very bad. Yeah,like I hate to be that guy,
(22:45):
but like, subjectively this season hasbeen really bad. Yeah for me at
least, like and clearly for you. And when when Jess was here.
I think Jess kind of echoed itwas so bad she ain't never could because
yeah, jes show up, they'regone guest appearance, and that's it folks,
at least for loss tapes. Butfuck yeah, it's we ruined that
(23:07):
one. But that's the thing.I think that at this point, I
can't help but feel like they justgave up, you know, like we
were talking about in the last episode, just and I were talking, I
was like, I would love tospeak with someone who worked on the show,
and I might still reach out tobecause I would like to I'd be
deeply fascinated to know, like howthis was organized, because it's very intuitive
that something was not communicated properly acrossthe board. That's what it feels like,
(23:32):
or somebody just was like, ohyeah, it's fine, like right
right, Like it feels like ifsomebody had just done the bare minimum of
research on the list. Because theway I would assume this works is like
the beginning of the season, whenthey're kind of planning out the season,
they have like a list and theywinnow that list down to like the ten
ones that they're like, these arethe ones. Yeah, and then they
take that list to whomever and getapproval to do those episodes and like the
(23:56):
script and they bash it out,they come back. They needed to be
some more oversighter because like the zombiesand the Poulter guys and the vampires and
the Catzl guaddal like non quality checkers, please, I would contend. So
we're on the seventh episode of theseason. Eight episode of the season.
In the eighth episode of this season. There are ten episodes of this season.
(24:17):
There will be by the end ofthe season. I think for three
cryptid episodes YETI When to Go andThe Beast of bray Rep. I believe
those will be the three cryptids.And there are ten episodes. That isn't
that's rough because that's even less thanhany Yeah, that's true. Thinking back
to it, a lot of themare more constant, like conceptual than anything
(24:38):
else. We look at the secondseason, we have advance, so we
have one, two, three,four, five, six, six of
the ten are cryptids. Uh,it's not bad. And then the first
the first season, pretty much acrossthe boards, let's say ten or twelve
of the fourteen. Yeah, Imean that's a lot of the other ones
were more repeat customers than anything else. Yeah, and the first big Animals
(25:03):
saga, right right, and yeah, and there was the yeah, and
the first season had like the deathworm. The first season had like the
heavy hitters like skin Walker, deathworm, death raptor you know, the
beat, the Bigfoot, choop acabra, mofman, mofman is in the
first season of the show. Soyeah, that's like they they only had
(25:25):
three two or three episodes in thatfirst fourteen season for fourteen episode run season
that were not cryptids, and nowwe're we're like three of ten. Yeah,
that's all, and they're not there. There are not just thirty cryptids,
that's the problem. Oh hell no, there are so many. And
I guess in the first season Ikind of forgave the big animal episodes because
(25:45):
they were just leaning into the otherhalf of their show theory, which was
just giving you facts of why thesecreatures could exist. So it's like,
yeah, it's really disappointing and kindof shitty that you're just giving me like
a big snake but couldn't exist today. And it's like, well no,
but it did exist, So yeah, and I would I would take those
(26:07):
giant animal episodes over catzl quattle.Oh any time Mega Conda is like Megakanda
looks like paranormal activity. Compared tothis episode, you know what I mean,
Like you even got the variety ofcameras, which you know what,
I will go out on a ona limb. I do miss that a
lot. They did it sparsely inthe second one. They still had some
(26:29):
creative endeavors to get the found footage, but like the first episode, gave
you a poe prix of uh,just straight up solutions for how it was
found footage. They went through it, whether it was like body cam,
whether it was CCTV, it wasa group got a camera for her birthday,
right, the kid borrowed dad's camquorder. Right, it was at
(26:51):
least a variety this it's just wehave a narrative. Yeah, they have
a camera, Why the fuck not? Well, of course they have a
camera. They're documenting yeah, right, I mean that's thing, you know,
like they're documenting it for X yZ reasons. Right, Well,
especially with the Enigma Corp, youdon't really need a built in explanation,
which makes them equally lazy as wellas just heanously ill equipped to even deal
(27:17):
with any of these problems. Well, that and that is the funny thing
about the Enigma Corp in this showis they're like the most bunch of fucking
idiots the side of the Mason Dixononce again, I've impressed. Yeah,
and that's a big line. Ithink Chris that they straight up just haven't
died yet. I swear they diedtwenty different times, because it's like,
how do you survive this well?And that is the ultimate issue with this
(27:41):
this kind of season of the showis they have these three Enigma Corp episode
and the Enigma Corp episode should havebeen half of the season, really should
should have well, I mean again, they've had they they started changing the
way the show worked and changing howthey present the narrative, and it seemed
like they were setting themselves up touse the Enigma Corp in those scenarios consistently,
(28:03):
right because they had every opportunity.Yeah, I was expecting you to
be every episode. Yeah why not? Then it's like set all the episodes
up to be that way. Itliterally like all I would have taken was
just casting the same people, aremaking like their characters a bit more,
you know, with it or notin the same actors having an a bunch
(28:23):
of Enigma Corp dumb dumbs that justkeep dying. Yeah, it's like double
O seven, somebody else takes upthe moony mantle, right or just like
it's just you know, a bunchof red shirts and they keep sending out
Yeah, like I don't know,do more than this, which is just
like half assing at hardcore. AndI wonder if like that, I wonder,
(28:44):
I wonder if the Enigma Corp thingwas like a note from Animal Planet.
They were like, well, peopleare really getting into like, you
know, mythologies and like myth arcstorytelling, so like, let's you guys
need to introduce like the light mythosto the show. Like I wonder if
that's what it was. And againlike you're struggling to come up with an
idea. Maybe throw these cats inright and like that, you know,
like I've said, I want toreach out to the people who made the
(29:06):
show, and I am going tobecause I want I don't know if people
are reaching out to talk to them, but I would love to know more
about the show and where what theinfluences of the show were co Yeah,
who made the season, who madethe decisions here? And I really want
to know, like what was thecreative process from season to season, because
it definitely feels like at some pointsomebody handed it off to somebody else.
(29:27):
Oh yeah, it probably got pickedup and passed over or they lost a
lot of people, right, Andyeah, three years of your life making
a TV show is a long time, folks, I mean nutty. You
know people like to talk about,Oh my god, you know Supernational ran
for fourteen seasons. That's fourteen yearsof your life. Yeah, it's crazy.
Like I've been doing this gig,the podcasting thing since twenty fourteen.
(29:51):
That's eight yes, that's eight years. Now. That's the longest I've done
anything outside of like school. Yeah, and I'm like a diner job that
long. But that's more depressing thancool, I don't like. But it's
it's weird to think about that becauselike throwing yourself headfirst into something for that
long, Like, not everybody isgoing to be as motivated and as motivated
(30:11):
really as you are. It's like, you know, the passionate about the
show. Like some people are gonnabe like this was just a job and
I'm out of here after one seasonand babe, if it's like individual episodes,
it's like Tales from Dark Side,where yeah, you'll get some repeat
names, but it's like, boy, you can tell some of those episodes
were easily meant to be throwaway episodesfrom the rip. Some's you know,
(30:33):
it's it's a production company working withpeople, not people working with a production
company. It's you know, it'sit's all centralized to the production company,
but the people that they're working withare different. It would seem at least
the actors and stuff. Yeah,this must have been a side hustle for
a lot of the people, becauseit makes sense to have different teams shooting
these episodes because they're not related,and that way you can kind of double
(30:56):
time it so that you can justhave like three productions going at once.
Oh yeah, because then people canfuck off to like their initial gig,
because I'm sure Animal Planet wasn't payingout too high either. Well yeah,
and that's the question, like isthis, like is this the sole gig
of the people who are working onit, So that again, I'm gonna
(31:18):
avail myself to reach out when we'redone here and kind of reach out and
see if we can talk to someof those people who worked on the show,
because yeah, again there hasn't beenanything else like it, and there
may never be, so it wouldbe nice to talk to people who made
it, because somebody was very this. This show doesn't just happen by accident.
I mean, yeah, Cloverfield andstuff exist at the time, and
(31:38):
that's obviously a massive inspiration because itcomes out of the same year as Cloverfield.
But like, somebody had to sayI want to do a show about
Cryptid, and somebody else had tosay, yeah, that's a good idea,
helly, or sell me on thatidea, and somebody did get sold
because they they put out money forthis show. So I would love to
I would love to know. Iwould love to know the story behind the
show because it's got to be aninteresting story. And that third season.
(32:00):
Sure, I wonder what the thirdseason was like, because maybe the people
who worked on the show in thethird season knew it wasn't very good.
It's not like people who work onthings creatively don't know. Oh yeah.
I mean sometimes some people are unwillingto admit it or see the light,
but plenty of people know, andplenty of For plenty of people, it
is just a job and they don'tgive a shit about the quality because fuck
you pay me? Yeah right,No, I mean there are plenty of
(32:22):
people that are mercenaries. It's ajob. I mean, there are plenty
of people listening to this right nowthat have a job that they don't give
a shit. Yep. Do youthink that's any dick out? Do you
think that's any different in the entertainmentindustry, it's not. No, especially
if you live, especially if youlive in the in the parts of the
world where the entertainment industry employs alot of people. Not everybody is a
giant movie fan. A lot ofpeople probably don't want to watch they have
(32:45):
no interest in watching them because theywork on them all the time, exactly.
You know, not everybody is ahuge movie fan. That's not the
way it is. So No,I'm really excited to reach out and see
if we can't talk to some ofthe people involved with the show, because
there've got to be some interesting stories, especially about sure Ketzl quadalless and stuff
like that. Yes, oh Ilove it. Yeah, hate the episode,
(33:06):
but love the concept. Yeah.And kettl quatdalike again, like,
I'm not even Ketzl Quattal's not athing we would ever talk about on this
show. What is there to talkabout, Like maybe he would come up
in an episode we were talking aboutlike interesting gods and deities from around the
world. What funis I don't knowif that's a fun episode. But you
know, ketsel Quattal's not anything really, He's a fucking wind god. He's
(33:27):
not a creature that he's a cooldad eats people, that kills people.
He is a benevolent god who sitsin the horror movie in deducing whatsoever.
No, not at all. Andthe fact that that's where they go with
it really just kind of similarly tothe Wend to Go, Like at least
the Wind to Go makes sense culturallythat you could like paint them as a
villain like kettl Quatta absolutely kind ofdisrespectful in a way like yeah, it's
(33:51):
like, oh, I don't understandthis god, but I bet they still
sacrifice people to it and it's likethe dead static. Yeah. Ever so,
yeah, this this episode smacks ofa lot of problems. But you
know, lack of cultural interpretation Ithink is a big one. Definitely up
there. Having no cultural framework onhow to actually approach a god of people
(34:14):
is kind of not great. Yeah, they're lucky that civilization is dead,
otherwise they'd be getting a lot ofletters and Brian. So on the next
end up, an ultimate episode ofLost Tapes Chronicles, we're going to be
talking about a actual cryptid, theBeast of Bray Road, which is a
wolf creature. So we've already talkedabout this one, so well, fair
(34:36):
enough cool, I mean, hey, whatever, we want a thought.
It is a cryptid, so itdoes meet the technical standards that the show
was setting for itself early on.I better get some animal facts on those.
I need to know more about themicanthropes. Yeah, well, I'll
tell you what You're better be gettinganimal facts on this upcoming episode, because
you're not going to get any onthe last episode. No, no,
(35:00):
I don't even know what you're gonnaget on the last episode, Ladies and
gentlemen. Reptilians are sitting underneath NewYork City. That's what you're gonna get.
Alex Jones is one of the talkingheads. Yes, that would be
fine, blowing perfect. He haslike his foil hat and his power supplements.
This is a family show. Pleasebuy my bone meal and spermit to
(35:22):
sooa powder. Yes, rub iton your cattle. Liquid ketzel quotal ground
up kettel quaddle feathers. We mixthem with a propetary blend of a vomit
inducing supplements. That's all for thehealthy male. It'll put hair on your
head, and hair on your back, and hair on your knuckles. It'll
(35:42):
put hair where you never thought youcould get it. Ladies on your eyes.
Yeah, you get hair on theinside of your eyelids. Ooh nice
scrubbing. Yeah, it's disgusting.So until then, Maggie, where can
people find you? If they werelooking? You can find me at my
lovely little website dole in me dotcom d O L I N. I
have a bunch of my artwork andcrazy endeavors up there. And that's about
(36:07):
it, because I killed all mysocial medias, like the various cubs of
mantus youth. Well, hey,you know what, nothing wrong with removing
yourself from social media. Yeah.As for me, c statue dot com
that's my link tree for all thethings that I work on. As for
this show, Scary Stories, wetell dot com Scary Stories WT on all
social media's. But just listen tothe show, rate and review on iTunes.
(36:29):
That's all you gotta do. That'sthe amount of interaction that is kind
of it really like, if youwant to do more than that, it's
up to you. So so yeah. As always, Maggie, thank you
so much for the album artwork forthe show Oh Cheers. And to our
good friend Dustin Religi as well forthe album artwork that he provides for the
Campfire Stories episodes. And to ourgood friend Alex Malinak of Blondeo for the
(36:50):
amazing music that he provides. Youcan find him on Spotify just search Blondeo.
And as always we'll let our goodfriend mister Tim White is no mystery
is close to an open mind
There are creatures science refuses to recognize. If I see it, if our
cameras capture it, does it exist? Do you believe? Hello everyone,
and welcome to yet another episode ofScary Stories. We tell I am your
host, Christashu, and I'm joinedon this Lost Tapes chronic. As we
speed towards the end, we downhill. These last couple episodes get to the
end of this mess. My goodfriend and yours artist among ten plan Plantasia
(01:11):
enjoyer as my son Mort Garson fanMaggie, the Hey gang. How's it
going? I love mort Garson atleast Plantasia. Oh my god. If
you've never listened to Plantasia, it'sa vinyl album that's music for plants.
Yeah, only listen to it ifyou're a plant, otherwise get the fuck
out. Or if you're high ongrass. Well, I think that still
(01:33):
cows looks kind of like a swampthing scenario. Are you a plant?
Bro, Bro me in the groundand I will grow. All I need
is sunlight. I got everything andwater, dude. Yeah, oh definitely
stay hydrated. Yeah, oh yeah, my god. Maggie. On this
episode of the Lost Age Chronicles,we're talking about qu a certain god not
(01:56):
Q from James Bond, not Qfrom Star Trek, not cue from anything
that you care about. They don'teven want to put its entire name in
the title. We're talking about spellit. Yeah, that's probably what it
is. We're talking about Ketziquado yepsay. Episode aired October twenty six to
twenty ten, and it's about ketzequattal, but not really. It's about some
ritualistic murders in Mexico City taking place, and I guess they're sacrificing people to
(02:21):
ketzl quado. Now, many ofyou who are not you know as tech,
will be asking yourselves, what iskettel quatdal? What does ketz alquatta
mean? What is what is Whyis ketzel quatdal? Well, kets al
quattal roughly translated means precious serpent orketzel feathered serpent in ketzl Quatdal is essentially
you know who Yorman Gunder is inNorse mythology, the world serpent. Ketzel
(02:45):
Quattal is the Aztec equivalent Hell.Yes, Orman Thunder. Yorman Gunder is
not a evil spirit. No,ketzel Quato is not an evil spirit,
not even close. No, heis the world serpent. He is often
portrayed as a snake with a withfeathers. Yeah, and kind of a
(03:07):
I don't know how to explain itother than it kind of looks like a
dragon's head, but it's a it'sa snake head. I mean, there's
all kinds of different interpretations of theof ketzl quaddle, So again, you
know, really good design. Honestly, it's one of my favorite things to
get. Should McCarthy ten say,my fellow nerds, I mean, Jesus
(03:29):
Christ, you know, I don'tknow many of you play smite out there.
Well here kuckle Khan is just likekekukle Kan is the Mayan version of
ketzel Quaddle. But ketzl Quadda isnot a evil being. I just want
to get this out there before webecause boy do they lean on that boy.
(03:51):
Yeah. So in this episode,yeah, it is essentially the enigma
KRP dipshits once again. At leastMooney and Noel are called. Yeah,
are called to Mexico City to investigateritualistic murders. The cold open involves a
tourist whose vo is completely definitely notRedone because it totally doesn't seem like it
(04:13):
meshes with anything. Pet it's sonatural with the outdoors too, so clean.
Honestly, they found the one daywhere there's no wind. Yeah,
it's it's really funny. They likethey have them shooting at Teoti wa Khan
and then it's like what is thisand the woman goes it's too TiO Wakhan
and then it's like all the ambientsound cuts out and it's just like clearly
vo recorded in the studio somewhere.Yes, yeah, it's really noticing.
(04:35):
But for whatever reason, this uh, this tourist goes to this train depot
where he thinks that there is goingto be some more ruins. There aren't,
and he goes into the top ofthis train depot and it's a giant
nest and he gets eaten by somethingbaby or sacrifice to Ketchel Quaddle, it's
not a desert worm, I knowwhat everybody's thinking. It's not the death
(04:58):
worm. Right, So then wepick up the Enigma Corp dipshits and what
do we get. We have themin Mexico investigating ritualistic murders that may or
may not have to do with Ketzlquadoand that's almost all of the episode.
Yeah, it's just them doing apoor rendition of a shittier version of Temple
of Doo. Temple of Doo.Oh, it's just the ritualistic aspects.
(05:21):
It's that shitty version. Man.I mean, you got the pyramids,
you got the wacky backdrop, there'sa bunch of knives and shit. Yeah,
yeah, there is this whole god. So they're they're trying to figure
out where the ritualistic murders are takingplace. And they have this informant who
has this knife that they need becauseit's a special knife to use in the
(05:43):
sacrifices to ketcel Quado. Yeah,because that was one of the few facts
that they could glean that sounded nefariousfrom the history of Queticado. You know,
is used an obsidian knife, andwe all know Obsidians like a Satanist
gemstone. Well, and again,I mean, it looks cool, and
it looks cool. It seems itseems really it seems old world. It
(06:09):
seems like it works with the timeand the place of what kettl Quadda is.
But the issue, the issue iskind of a different one. It's
like, what does this have todo with ketzl Quadda. No, My
favorite issue about this is is thisis not a cryptid in the weirdest way,
like what's our next cryptid? Jesusright, like it's intact from the
(06:30):
dead. It's yeah, I don'tunderstand, like this is a this is
a god, this is a deityin Aztec culture. Yeah, this is
someone that people like pray to andonce again not even got him. He's
a god of wind, he's youknow, like what it writes, what
character is this? Like, Idon't under I don't what's weird is I
(06:50):
don't understand what the fuck they werethinking. No, once I genuinely don't
understand, Like they have so manybig snake episodes, you don't need another
big snake. And I would contendthat's not even what this is. I
know, I know, because whatwe see is essentially a tera deck a
(07:11):
bit yeah, or I don't knowwhat it is. Frankly, this is
well, it was very ambiguous,blurry and dark. I can see where
they kind of got the snake vibesgoing. But my main thing is the
big difference on this big snake toall other big snakes. We didn't even
fucking wings, like they have hadepisodes with big birds and all they do
is the woosh sounds they didn't evengive us a courtesy woosh, Chris.
(07:34):
No, that's what I don't understand. Like, this is the god of
wind. This is a giant serpentgod. We feathered serpent god who helped
create the world as the as techsaw. And where do they get any
of this shit from? Is myquestion. They literally said it must be.
They said it must Okay, sowe have this idea there's this giant
(07:57):
feathered snake god in this tech culture, so why don't we do like a
ritualistic murder thing with that. Butthat is not this show. It has
never been. This shout a leftfield unless there was specifically a cryptid that
could be like summoned or something likeif you did demons, I would have
an easier time. This is justan Aztec god that has no business being
(08:22):
on a cryptid list. Walk methrough, what are we going to read
this to? You? You tellme who. According to the Book of
Mormon, Oh Boy, the resurrectedJesus Christ descended from heaven and visited people
of the American continent shortly after hisresurrection. Some followers of the Latter day
Saints movement believe that kets A Quaddawas historically Jesus Christ, but believe his
(08:43):
name and the details of the eventwere gradually lost over time. Wow,
you tugged me for a ride,Sir, I was not expecting to get
in that car. BET's a quaddleis not a religious symbol in the Latter
Day Saints' fate and is not taughtas such, nor is it in their
doctrine that ketz Alquadal Jesus. However, in eighteen ninety two, John Taylor,
one of the presidents of the faith, wrote the story of the life
(09:05):
of the Mexican difinity. Kettlquaddle closelyclosely resembles that of the Savior, so
closely indeed, that we come tono other conclusion that kettl Quaddle and Christ
are the same being. But thehistory of the former has been handed down
to us through an impure Lamantish sourcewhich is sadly disfigured and perverted the original
incidents and teachings the Savior's life andministry. It's impressive, Chris, who
(09:26):
would have thought that the Mormons hadthe answer for why Quetzelcadal and Jesus are
kryptis They're clearly the same creature.It's like it's like a larger scale skin
walker. It's like a god's skinwalker. Chris, I don't understand.
It's impressive. I don't understand atall. I want to write God fan
(09:48):
fiction. What the fuck that?I didn't realize that that could be an
occupation since eighteen whenever? Yeah,wow, I what? Well? Yeah,
Like I'm okay. I kind ofwish that that was the episode.
It was just they open, It'sjust open with that statement and nothing else,
Like, you don't even have toshow Jesus, just have somebody read
(10:11):
that instead of the intro and boom, just be thinking about it for twenty
minutes and then it cuts to adifferent show because time's up. Well,
and that's the thing for me aboutall of this is you were joking before
we talked about this whole Jesus isketzlguaddle thing. You joked like, what
are they going to do next?Jesus? Like, yeah, that is
kind of what That's exactly what thatis. They're saying it's the same,
(10:33):
well, they're saying it's the same, but also, like what we've mentioned
before, and we'll say, andI will say it again, where is
the loch Ness Monster episode? Oh, he's a bear, is repeating.
Apparently, now he is Jesus too, it bears repeating. Where is that
episode? Wa? This is likewe've talked about this before where the show
(10:54):
kind of with Poltergeist, right,it kind of felt like it was reaching
double Monkey. You weren't here forthat one that was again reaching This is
like, it's it's just that's notwhat the conceit of the show was.
No, that's like somebody doing homeworkwithout realizing what the assignment was and then
you have to present it in frontof the class and they're like, well,
(11:15):
oh, my favorite cryptid is ques. It's like, well you you
you failed the assignment before you evenYeah, you failed the assignment from the
moment you started, and you're evenright like exactly, like you know,
there was always that one kid inschool, like you said, he was
like I'm going to do this onething, and it's like you got a
(11:35):
zero yeah, clearly and had tomake us sit through it. And you
know what the sad thing is,I believe they could have done a Kettle
Quadal episode. It could have.It could have done a lot better than
this. I don't know how.I think maybe you said it and like
me said it at the Museum ofNatural History in Mexico City, where the
(11:56):
Museum of History in Mexico City,and have it an angle of like an
artifact or something or something to thateffect. I don't know, but like
it could have gotten resurrected in themuseum. And it's just like smashing shit.
You don't even have to make thema nefarious thing, just a very
dangerous thing, because it's a flyinggiant snake, right, It's like Clifford
the Big Red Dog. There's goingto be some fallout. It's not just
(12:18):
one family being affected by this thing, right, Okay, Right, And
and that's and I don't know,like that's the problem there, because like
the stakes of the episode are thatCancel Quad comes back is kind of destroy
the world, and yet it rightback and nothing has happened, right,
It just killed some fucking Enigma Corp. Well didn't, right, right?
Yeah? Well, no, Istay did this? I guess I guess
(12:41):
they didn't even I guess it didn'tkill it didn't kill them that the people
did. Well, the snake lashedout at somebody at the end. I
think it. I don't. Thatwas very ambiguous. I think well,
I think the other issue I thinkoverall what this episode is. So the
bulk majority of theisode is set inthis kind of steakout van and they're waiting
(13:03):
for this guy to go talk tothis other guy and he's like, there
will be no tomorrow night, youknow, the world's gonna end and blah
blah. And then they're like,all right, well we know where we're
going now, and so they there'sthis weird scene where like the guy that
they're using threatens to kill the EnigmaCorp woman and then he runs off because
he realized how evil this place is. Right, this is Goose, That
(13:26):
is Goose like whatever. Fun.But then but then we get to the
end and it's taking place in thetrain depot where kettl Quadda is who they're
trying to summon but already exists andis alive. So what was what were
they what were they doing? What? Huh? Giving it some nums,
giving it some sneaky snacks so itcan live for another century. Well and
(13:48):
that's for our sins, Chris,Yeah, that's what what I don't understand
here is if they're trying to summonkettl quaddle kettl quatdal summoned at the end
of the episode, but they didn'tsucceed, or did they. But Kettlquatda
was there at the beginning of theepisode, and one is that a cryptid
for like fe's time. It makesyou ladies and gentlemen. Oh, I
(14:09):
know it drives me nuts where it'sjust absolutely absurd. But let me ask
you something. You remember when theAztec calendar ran out and everybody thought the
world was gonna end about what timewas that? That was twenty twelve,
okay, two years away, SoI can vaguely understand if they wanted to
do a quetz Ocado episode because ofthe hype because of the stupid calendars.
(14:33):
Yeah, but that but that nothingto do with the calendar syst I learned
more about the fucking Aztec calendar systemfrom the Book of Mormon that I did
from this episode, which is sayingquite apparently kett al quattle Mormon icon kettl
quatto, dude, See that makesme want to be a Mormon. That's
a cool god to have on yourside. But now when it's Jesus quetz
ocadle snake, Jesus speaking of thingsthat are named Mormon that are a good
(14:56):
Book of Mormon. Oh, yes, very much so. Joseph smeet American
Moses. So I've been told Idon't know what the connection to LDS is
all about. That's at first forme, I had never heard that before.
But my interpretation of kettl guattle isnot this episode, and I think
the episode knows that. And Ithink the episode tried to do something with
(15:20):
the idea of ketzl quattle that doesn'tspeak to or suit the narrative of ketzl
quaddle as we've been taught about itand or read about it online. You
know, this is like comprising aBuzzFeed quiz where they knew a popular topic
and they wanted to do serial killingor cult killing, and so they just
(15:41):
tried to jam them in the samething in hopes that it would kind of
stack and be popular just by associationof these two cool things. And it's
like it just doesn't drive, especiallywhen the leader of said non cult cult
is once again painfully what that again? You know, we we talked about
(16:02):
at the end of the last episode, like we were gonna have some words
about this episode. This is probablythe worst episode of the show. I
mean, it definitely makes me wantto punch somebody the most. I wouldn't
say it's the worst, but it'sup there because this makes no sense why
it was made narrative structure. Ican give it a pass because it vaguely
makes sense. It's still not good, and they kept it vague enough in
(16:22):
case they wanted to bring the stupidenigma. People that both simultaneously die and
keep living. They're crypted. They'reso memorable, you know what, They're
so memorable who even cares? Ohgosh, yeah, Connor and Mooney,
Connie on the shirt, Connie andConnie and KENI got biff chas Tin and
(16:45):
Tanner ce slammin. What is that? Is that? A? Is it
an appetizer Guy Fieri's restaurant? Yeah, appetizer that sigel And that's like that
we've been We were talking about BugsyMalone a couple of weeks ago, and
one of the character's name is Blouseysomething, and I said, Flossy Buggers.
(17:08):
I mean, it's just off flossybugger. It's damn flossy buggers.
If that ate a British drag queen, I'll be damned at young namemate full
of saint bgace Off flossy beggar.Eh, you are one flossy black app
It's it's gotten to the point withthis show. You know, I've been
(17:29):
podcasting now for a while some ofyou yes, and I've in my lifetime.
There are some things that stand outto me and some patterns that jump
out. I've done a fair amountof these anthology shows. Now we've closing
in on completing two anthology shows forsure, beginning to end, one of
the big Tales from the Crypt,the other one being the nineteen eighty five
Twilight Zone. This is an anthologyshow, you would agree, right,
(17:51):
yep, man, this is abad anthology show. Dude. It's unhinged.
I would even argue that it's notan anthology because all of these books
are just scattered across the library andnot in one tone. Well, and
that is the problem. There islike there's no unified idea here, and
it felt like in the first seasonthere really was. And you know it,
(18:12):
it's gotten to the point where theshow where, you know, like
with Tales from the Crypt and TwilightZone. By the end of the show,
I'm exhausted with the show because theshow has just the show has given
it has taken every opportunity to dothe least possible and or something so inane
and idiotic that it's shocking because youhave the Windgo episode, right, the
(18:34):
Windgo episode was great, Yeah,and then you watch this episode and you're
like, this is the same show, right, this this is I don't
want to say this is the worsttwenty two minutes of TV I've watched in
a long time, but it mightbe. It was just infuriating meandering.
Yeah, and then the payoff atthe end is laughable, laughable. That
(18:56):
ketzel quatdal puppet or whatever that's supposedto be, Like maybe CGI, but
I think it's a puppet. Ithink it's a practical effect. I think
they took that monster from that rememberthe episode where the guy like dies in
the water, like the old man'slike walking in the water. It feels
like they just took that puppet andstood it up. It looks like that
same bug eyed, weird craby design. I'm sure they had plenty of body
(19:21):
tubes from all the Giant Sneak episodesthey did too, right, Like it's
it's a it's a really crappy designfor a character, and like I got
a cryptid adjacent like mythology folklore.I thought they were totally gonna cop out
and just do like giant feathers anda big flap flap and that was it,
because that's what they've done in thepast, and it's been like,
(19:41):
ah, yeah, I guess thatwas the thing. Well, and that
is what I was expecting. Imean they did Thunderbird already, right,
exactly right, like they did Thunderbirdalready, Like I don't understand, you
know what you need to do ifyou're gonna do this shit again. I
would contend though, if you've doneThunderbird, why do this episode? Like
why it's the same? Do youdo that is ketzl quattle? Geez?
(20:04):
Who cares? Really, especially ifyou're not did he? No, that
was when the show still was nice. That was the first season dropped him
in a tree and it broke hisarm, broke some ship. Yeah,
but but like at the end ofthe day, like, what did that
have to do with Thunderbird? Nothing? What did this have to do with
kettledquattle? Nothing? So you couldhave swapped, Yeah, this could have
(20:26):
been a Thunderbird episode. What wouldit have mattered? Yeah, A little
leftover like some of the episodes haveand ship. You don't even see the
thunderbird in that episode. No,it's like shadows, yeah cgi shadow wooshes
right, And then I think didthey have did they do that? I
don't remember. No, I thinkI'm thinking of mon Nan, although that
one had like a straight up owlpellet man Nan yeah, owl me and
(20:49):
a manya owl may in a Man'sstill my favorite name. Like I wish
a cooler thing were called that.Wish a wrestler would called that, that'd
be my favorite wrestler. But god, by god, it's the Owlman of
Monan prepared to get pilloted. I'mgonna tear you apart, brother Man of
(21:12):
Money. His finisher is just calleduh, I don't know the talent drop
oh man reckon the church tonight.He does like he does. He does
like a you know how some wrestlersused to like a backscratch. That's what.
Oh yeah, totally it's ship outof their back. That's like,
that's a female wrestler, old coolfemale wrestler gag. But you do that
scratch the bag. Oh my goddess. The Monan drop kick sound, even
(21:38):
though it's just a different bird ingeneral, but they're gonna Now this is
like the nineties w W E bookingWWS. Oh yeah, we'd be champs.
You would be fighting it. Youwould be fighting a dentist and a
garbage man in a three way matchfor the hardcore Championship. Oh yeah,
he's the heel that everybody obviously lovesbecause the heroes suck and he's round sinner.
(22:00):
Dude, it's me, the owlman of mind. And eat your
rats and say your prayers. Brother, will be you accounted for? An
ask kickin? Yeah? Cats,this is just you know what? This
is the last Enigma Corp episode,By the way, is it really?
Oh? Thank god? So comewhat can we what can we really sit?
(22:22):
Well, they showed up in Strugoy, We're there, They showed up
in Zombie, and they showed upin this. Of those three, I
think the best is probably the Zombieepisode, which is saying a lot because
man, we we shot on thatone hard. Yeah, because that episode
was in and of itself dog shit, Yes it was. This season has
been overall very bad. Yeah,like I hate to be that guy,
(22:45):
but like, subjectively this season hasbeen really bad. Yeah for me at
least, like and clearly for you. And when when Jess was here.
I think Jess kind of echoed itwas so bad she ain't never could because
yeah, jes show up, they'regone guest appearance, and that's it folks,
at least for loss tapes. Butfuck yeah, it's we ruined that
(23:07):
one. But that's the thing.I think that at this point, I
can't help but feel like they justgave up, you know, like we
were talking about in the last episode, just and I were talking, I
was like, I would love tospeak with someone who worked on the show,
and I might still reach out tobecause I would like to I'd be
deeply fascinated to know, like howthis was organized, because it's very intuitive
that something was not communicated properly acrossthe board. That's what it feels like,
(23:32):
or somebody just was like, ohyeah, it's fine, like right
right, Like it feels like ifsomebody had just done the bare minimum of
research on the list. Because theway I would assume this works is like
the beginning of the season, whenthey're kind of planning out the season,
they have like a list and theywinnow that list down to like the ten
ones that they're like, these arethe ones. Yeah, and then they
take that list to whomever and getapproval to do those episodes and like the
(23:56):
script and they bash it out,they come back. They needed to be
some more oversighter because like the zombiesand the Poulter guys and the vampires and
the Catzl guaddal like non quality checkers, please, I would contend. So
we're on the seventh episode of theseason. Eight episode of the season.
In the eighth episode of this season. There are ten episodes of this season.
(24:17):
There will be by the end ofthe season. I think for three
cryptid episodes YETI When to Go andThe Beast of bray Rep. I believe
those will be the three cryptids.And there are ten episodes. That isn't
that's rough because that's even less thanhany Yeah, that's true. Thinking back
to it, a lot of themare more constant, like conceptual than anything
(24:38):
else. We look at the secondseason, we have advance, so we
have one, two, three,four, five, six, six of
the ten are cryptids. Uh,it's not bad. And then the first
the first season, pretty much acrossthe boards, let's say ten or twelve
of the fourteen. Yeah, Imean that's a lot of the other ones
were more repeat customers than anything else. Yeah, and the first big Animals
(25:03):
saga, right right, and yeah, and there was the yeah, and
the first season had like the deathworm. The first season had like the
heavy hitters like skin Walker, deathworm, death raptor you know, the
beat, the Bigfoot, choop acabra, mofman, mofman is in the
first season of the show. Soyeah, that's like they they only had
(25:25):
three two or three episodes in thatfirst fourteen season for fourteen episode run season
that were not cryptids, and nowwe're we're like three of ten. Yeah,
that's all, and they're not there. There are not just thirty cryptids,
that's the problem. Oh hell no, there are so many. And
I guess in the first season Ikind of forgave the big animal episodes because
(25:45):
they were just leaning into the otherhalf of their show theory, which was
just giving you facts of why thesecreatures could exist. So it's like,
yeah, it's really disappointing and kindof shitty that you're just giving me like
a big snake but couldn't exist today. And it's like, well no,
but it did exist, So yeah, and I would I would take those
(26:07):
giant animal episodes over catzl quattle.Oh any time Mega Conda is like Megakanda
looks like paranormal activity. Compared tothis episode, you know what I mean,
Like you even got the variety ofcameras, which you know what,
I will go out on a ona limb. I do miss that a
lot. They did it sparsely inthe second one. They still had some
(26:29):
creative endeavors to get the found footage, but like the first episode, gave
you a poe prix of uh,just straight up solutions for how it was
found footage. They went through it, whether it was like body cam,
whether it was CCTV, it wasa group got a camera for her birthday,
right, the kid borrowed dad's camquorder. Right, it was at
(26:51):
least a variety this it's just wehave a narrative. Yeah, they have
a camera, Why the fuck not? Well, of course they have a
camera. They're documenting yeah, right, I mean that's thing, you know,
like they're documenting it for X yZ reasons. Right, Well,
especially with the Enigma Corp, youdon't really need a built in explanation,
which makes them equally lazy as wellas just heanously ill equipped to even deal
(27:17):
with any of these problems. Well, that and that is the funny thing
about the Enigma Corp in this showis they're like the most bunch of fucking
idiots the side of the Mason Dixononce again, I've impressed. Yeah,
and that's a big line. Ithink Chris that they straight up just haven't
died yet. I swear they diedtwenty different times, because it's like,
how do you survive this well?And that is the ultimate issue with this
(27:41):
this kind of season of the showis they have these three Enigma Corp episode
and the Enigma Corp episode should havebeen half of the season, really should
should have well, I mean again, they've had they they started changing the
way the show worked and changing howthey present the narrative, and it seemed
like they were setting themselves up touse the Enigma Corp in those scenarios consistently,
(28:03):
right because they had every opportunity.Yeah, I was expecting you to
be every episode. Yeah why not? Then it's like set all the episodes
up to be that way. Itliterally like all I would have taken was
just casting the same people, aremaking like their characters a bit more,
you know, with it or notin the same actors having an a bunch
(28:23):
of Enigma Corp dumb dumbs that justkeep dying. Yeah, it's like double
O seven, somebody else takes upthe moony mantle, right or just like
it's just you know, a bunchof red shirts and they keep sending out
Yeah, like I don't know,do more than this, which is just
like half assing at hardcore. AndI wonder if like that, I wonder,
(28:44):
I wonder if the Enigma Corp thingwas like a note from Animal Planet.
They were like, well, peopleare really getting into like, you
know, mythologies and like myth arcstorytelling, so like, let's you guys
need to introduce like the light mythosto the show. Like I wonder if
that's what it was. And againlike you're struggling to come up with an
idea. Maybe throw these cats inright and like that, you know,
like I've said, I want toreach out to the people who made the
(29:06):
show, and I am going tobecause I want I don't know if people
are reaching out to talk to them, but I would love to know more
about the show and where what theinfluences of the show were co Yeah,
who made the season, who madethe decisions here? And I really want
to know, like what was thecreative process from season to season, because
it definitely feels like at some pointsomebody handed it off to somebody else.
(29:27):
Oh yeah, it probably got pickedup and passed over or they lost a
lot of people, right, Andyeah, three years of your life making
a TV show is a long time, folks, I mean nutty. You
know people like to talk about,Oh my god, you know Supernational ran
for fourteen seasons. That's fourteen yearsof your life. Yeah, it's crazy.
Like I've been doing this gig,the podcasting thing since twenty fourteen.
(29:51):
That's eight yes, that's eight years. Now. That's the longest I've done
anything outside of like school. Yeah, and I'm like a diner job that
long. But that's more depressing thancool, I don't like. But it's
it's weird to think about that becauselike throwing yourself headfirst into something for that
long, Like, not everybody isgoing to be as motivated and as motivated
(30:11):
really as you are. It's like, you know, the passionate about the
show. Like some people are gonnabe like this was just a job and
I'm out of here after one seasonand babe, if it's like individual episodes,
it's like Tales from Dark Side,where yeah, you'll get some repeat
names, but it's like, boy, you can tell some of those episodes
were easily meant to be throwaway episodesfrom the rip. Some's you know,
(30:33):
it's it's a production company working withpeople, not people working with a production
company. It's you know, it'sit's all centralized to the production company,
but the people that they're working withare different. It would seem at least
the actors and stuff. Yeah,this must have been a side hustle for
a lot of the people, becauseit makes sense to have different teams shooting
these episodes because they're not related,and that way you can kind of double
(30:56):
time it so that you can justhave like three productions going at once.
Oh yeah, because then people canfuck off to like their initial gig,
because I'm sure Animal Planet wasn't payingout too high either. Well yeah,
and that's the question, like isthis, like is this the sole gig
of the people who are working onit, So that again, I'm gonna
(31:18):
avail myself to reach out when we'redone here and kind of reach out and
see if we can talk to someof those people who worked on the show,
because yeah, again there hasn't beenanything else like it, and there
may never be, so it wouldbe nice to talk to people who made
it, because somebody was very this. This show doesn't just happen by accident.
I mean, yeah, Cloverfield andstuff exist at the time, and
(31:38):
that's obviously a massive inspiration because itcomes out of the same year as Cloverfield.
But like, somebody had to sayI want to do a show about
Cryptid, and somebody else had tosay, yeah, that's a good idea,
helly, or sell me on thatidea, and somebody did get sold
because they they put out money forthis show. So I would love to
I would love to know. Iwould love to know the story behind the
show because it's got to be aninteresting story. And that third season.
(32:00):
Sure, I wonder what the thirdseason was like, because maybe the people
who worked on the show in thethird season knew it wasn't very good.
It's not like people who work onthings creatively don't know. Oh yeah.
I mean sometimes some people are unwillingto admit it or see the light,
but plenty of people know, andplenty of For plenty of people, it
is just a job and they don'tgive a shit about the quality because fuck
you pay me? Yeah right,No, I mean there are plenty of
(32:22):
people that are mercenaries. It's ajob. I mean, there are plenty
of people listening to this right nowthat have a job that they don't give
a shit. Yep. Do youthink that's any dick out? Do you
think that's any different in the entertainmentindustry, it's not. No, especially
if you live, especially if youlive in the in the parts of the
world where the entertainment industry employs alot of people. Not everybody is a
giant movie fan. A lot ofpeople probably don't want to watch they have
(32:45):
no interest in watching them because theywork on them all the time, exactly.
You know, not everybody is ahuge movie fan. That's not the
way it is. So No,I'm really excited to reach out and see
if we can't talk to some ofthe people involved with the show, because
there've got to be some interesting stories, especially about sure Ketzl quadalless and stuff
like that. Yes, oh Ilove it. Yeah, hate the episode,
(33:06):
but love the concept. Yeah.And kettl quatdalike again, like,
I'm not even Ketzl Quattal's not athing we would ever talk about on this
show. What is there to talkabout, Like maybe he would come up
in an episode we were talking aboutlike interesting gods and deities from around the
world. What funis I don't knowif that's a fun episode. But you
know, ketsel Quattal's not anything really, He's a fucking wind god. He's
(33:27):
not a creature that he's a cooldad eats people, that kills people.
He is a benevolent god who sitsin the horror movie in deducing whatsoever.
No, not at all. Andthe fact that that's where they go with
it really just kind of similarly tothe Wend to Go, Like at least
the Wind to Go makes sense culturallythat you could like paint them as a
villain like kettl Quatta absolutely kind ofdisrespectful in a way like yeah, it's
(33:51):
like, oh, I don't understandthis god, but I bet they still
sacrifice people to it and it's likethe dead static. Yeah. Ever so,
yeah, this this episode smacks ofa lot of problems. But you
know, lack of cultural interpretation Ithink is a big one. Definitely up
there. Having no cultural framework onhow to actually approach a god of people
(34:14):
is kind of not great. Yeah, they're lucky that civilization is dead,
otherwise they'd be getting a lot ofletters and Brian. So on the next
end up, an ultimate episode ofLost Tapes Chronicles, we're going to be
talking about a actual cryptid, theBeast of Bray Road, which is a
wolf creature. So we've already talkedabout this one, so well, fair
(34:36):
enough cool, I mean, hey, whatever, we want a thought.
It is a cryptid, so itdoes meet the technical standards that the show
was setting for itself early on.I better get some animal facts on those.
I need to know more about themicanthropes. Yeah, well, I'll
tell you what You're better be gettinganimal facts on this upcoming episode, because
you're not going to get any onthe last episode. No, no,
(35:00):
I don't even know what you're gonnaget on the last episode, Ladies and
gentlemen. Reptilians are sitting underneath NewYork City. That's what you're gonna get.
Alex Jones is one of the talkingheads. Yes, that would be
fine, blowing perfect. He haslike his foil hat and his power supplements.
This is a family show. Pleasebuy my bone meal and spermit to
(35:22):
sooa powder. Yes, rub iton your cattle. Liquid ketzel quotal ground
up kettel quaddle feathers. We mixthem with a propetary blend of a vomit
inducing supplements. That's all for thehealthy male. It'll put hair on your
head, and hair on your back, and hair on your knuckles. It'll
(35:42):
put hair where you never thought youcould get it. Ladies on your eyes.
Yeah, you get hair on theinside of your eyelids. Ooh nice
scrubbing. Yeah, it's disgusting.So until then, Maggie, where can
people find you? If they werelooking? You can find me at my
lovely little website dole in me dotcom d O L I N. I
have a bunch of my artwork andcrazy endeavors up there. And that's about
(36:07):
it, because I killed all mysocial medias, like the various cubs of
mantus youth. Well, hey,you know what, nothing wrong with removing
yourself from social media. Yeah.As for me, c statue dot com
that's my link tree for all thethings that I work on. As for
this show, Scary Stories, wetell dot com Scary Stories WT on all
social media's. But just listen tothe show, rate and review on iTunes.
(36:29):
That's all you gotta do. That'sthe amount of interaction that is kind
of it really like, if youwant to do more than that, it's
up to you. So so yeah. As always, Maggie, thank you
so much for the album artwork forthe show Oh Cheers. And to our
good friend Dustin Religi as well forthe album artwork that he provides for the
Campfire Stories episodes. And to ourgood friend Alex Malinak of Blondeo for the
(36:50):
amazing music that he provides. Youcan find him on Spotify just search Blondeo.
And as always we'll let our goodfriend mister Tim White is no mystery
is close to an open mind
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