Valentine's Day! Nightmare Dating Stories!

On this episode, Savvy shares some nightmarish dating stories from some of her friends, and some she found on the internet!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You're listening to Radio loud. Youknow tonight I don't feeling a little out
of control? Is this me?You want to get crazy because I don't

(00:24):
give her. You're listening talk.Welcome to Schmidt Talk. I'm your host,

(00:59):
Sava Schmidt, and today is theValentine's episode for twenty twenty four.
My voice is kind of you know, I'm not the best right now because
I've got some allergies going on.Sorry, And today I'm gonna be sharing
with you some of the worst datestories. I'm gonna share one with you
that I've been meaning to tell myroommate and now I can because like now

(01:23):
I'm recording and all that. Butso, there was this guy in high
school and he really really wanted me, and he kept wanting to date me
and all that. And to makea long story short, this guy had
been trying to get with me foryears and years, Okay, And so
I was living in Oklahoma City.I had gone out there. To make

(01:45):
a long story short, I wasraised in California, but when I married
this guy, we went out toOklahoma City because he joined the Air Force
and he got stationed at Tinker AirForce Base. So we got divorced,
and I was still there, youknow. So the Sky from high school
got in touch with me on Facebookand he came out and he I won't

(02:07):
mention his name because you know,I think, uh, last time I
checked on his Facebook, which justout of curiosity. I don't stalk people's
facebooks, really, but I wasjust kind of curious. But he's married
now and all that good for him. So he showed up, got his
airline in and I picked him up, and he carried around with him like

(02:27):
a full gallon of water, likejust everywhere. So we saw the sites.
You know, Oklahoma City has quitea few, like notorious sites that
are really cool. And anyway,we went to this restaurant. We went
to Chili's, Okay, and Iguess you can call it a date,
but I was skeptical, like I'mjust being friends, right, So he

(02:52):
brought his gallon of water to therestaurant and we get there. He's like,
I'm not going to eat anything.I don't want to order anything,
and I was like, okay,So I ordered some food and I honestly
was surprised that the restaurant didn't kickhim out for having the gallon of water
because you're really not supposed to bringlike drinks or food into a restaurant,

(03:14):
but they let it go. Andso I ordered my food and I knew
I was gonna pay because I wasthe one, you know, that was
the only one eating. So heuh, Once I got my food,
he proceeded to eat like half thefood on my plate, like literally just

(03:38):
started like picking fries off and allthat kind of thing. And I was
like, how weird is this?Like you don't you say you're not gonna
eat and then I get a plateof food and you're just like gonna eat
half my meal. Like do wehave like a level of intimacy? I
didn't know about because we didn't,And so I just thought that was really

(03:59):
weird. So today I'm going tobe sharing some weird date stories. This
might not be a very long showbecause I got like a few responses,
but not like a lot. SoI'm just going to run through these and
hopefully it makes your Valentine's Day alittle bit better. It makes you if
you're single, like me, myroommate, well, my daughter's eleven,
so of course she's single. Butit's going to make you maybe feel better

(04:24):
about if you're single. All right, so here we go. This first
one is from my friend Paul.He said, so many years ago,
when I was single, there wasthis strange girl I knew from working at
the mall. She was just somechick who would come by things and stand
too close to people. So obviouslyI agreed to go on a date with

(04:45):
her. We decided to eat ata restaurant. I show up, nobody
there. I text her because shetold me she was there. Well,
the place was the mall. Itwas an actual restaurant, not the food
court, so I figured that she'sjust walking around. She texts back and
says, okay, we will bethere in a minute. We hang on
a second. What we So Isee her and two older people walking towards

(05:09):
me. She brought her aunt anduncle. Okay, I mean, I
didn't expect anything spectacular. I figuredshe was gonna be weird like, just
like she usually was. But this, oh my god, this is the
next level. So we all eat. Her aunt strikes me as the I
don't realize I'm aging, and bythe way, I have fake Tata's type.

(05:30):
She flirts with me the entire time. She keeps trying to play foot
sees with me, Okay, I'mabsolutely uncomfortable, but I have to see
where this night goes. So weeat and talk. I definitely have a
beer. Her uncle, a short, little guy, is hilarious, like
I'm thinking, bro, why wegot these women here, Let's dig them.

(05:51):
Anyways, we finished the meal andI'm like, Okay, maybe they'll
leave and I can abruptly receive acall from whoever I text to help me,
but nope, it's Halloween months,so they all want to go to
the Halloween tent. So Evatt wego. The ladies walk off somewhere,
and they're acting insanely strange, likethis is some type of engagement party.

(06:13):
They're giggling and I don't know itwas weird. Her uncle puts me.
Her uncle puts his arm on myshoulder and asks what my intentions are with
his niece. Then he gives methe talk, like the talk as if
I'm an adolescent boy and he wasmy father. I was in a band
through the majority of my twenties.I have a child. I'm a grown

(06:35):
man getting the talk in public froma guy I met forty five minutes ago,
and people didn't stare. I don'teven remember what I said, it
was just so uncomfortable. I thinkI just told him I was just looking
to get to know her. Thenhe starts talking about her fiance that they
hate, and they are glad she'sseeing other people. I'm like, what

(06:57):
the actual what? After a goodthree hours, they finally leave and she
asks if I want to go bowling. I tell her I'm kind of tired,
so she says, Okay, that'scool. Can you take me home?
Sure? So I drive her home, except I definitely did not drive
her home. She gives me directionsto this neighborhood, and I know for

(07:18):
a fact she does not live there. I know because she had given me
her address but must have forgot orhoped I wouldn't remember. And this was
a trailer park about a mile downthe road. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
I don't judge. So she getsout I had a nice time,
and kisses me on the cheek andgets out. I say, I'll wait
until, I'll wait until, I'llwait until you're inside to leave, calling

(07:41):
her bluff. She looks devastated,but I insist. She says, well,
I have to go in the back. So she goes into a fence
or a house, that isn't hers. And I drive off to the trailer
park down the road and I watchher walk into the trailer park. Anyways,
at that point, I knew I'dnever go out with her again.
However, she kept turning up atplaces i'd be. She'd tell people how

(08:03):
close we were. Wooh ooh,that's a little bit psycho. I let
that part play itself out, andeventually I blocked her on all social media.
Anyways, that was probably the mostuncomfortable I've ever been. I feel
like she's the type of person tocatfish people, even though she herself isn't
unattractive, but there's something off abouther and that is bizarre. Okay,

(08:26):
thank you for sharing this story,Paul. That's cringe. Her aunt and
uncle came with you on the date. Whoa dude, I can't even woh.
This next one is from my friendDennette. She said she had a
Valentine's dinner date, but instead herdate drove them straight to a hotel.

(08:48):
Nope, and that is a goodYes, I'm glad she did that because
that's red flag, not even dinner. Come on, all right, this
next one is for my best friend, my love. Well, that's not
her entire name, that's her initials. She goes my mill on social media.
Okay, she said her first datewith her ex husband, he decided

(09:09):
to bring his best friend with him, and she says, well, it
was interesting, to say the least. We went to see Back to the
Future three, which was already playingwhen we got there. Then we just
drove around. He had a Toyotapick up without an extended cap and I
was in the middle of two dudes. I don't know what was going on
in their minds, but I didhave two stabby sticks in my wallet.
I'm guessing she's saying knives in moneyto get home. We ended up in

(09:33):
a cemetery. Girl, what later? I found out that his best friend
asked me out on the date.I was not happy at all. Girl,
I hear you. That's crazy.I didn't know that. That's funny.
Not funny, but it kind ofokay. This next one's from my
friend Verna. Love you, Verna, You're such a sweetee. Okay,

(09:54):
so Verna said, I agreed togo on a date after talking to this
guy online and told him it wasokay to picked me up at my house.
He showed up drunk and I closedthe door in his face after telling
him I don't date drunks, alesson learned from this one, and met
guys for coffee first. Another timeI agreed to meet this guy at a
restaurant. He got cold feet andtold me he had decided he wasn't ready
to date again and left. Whooh, Okay, Yeah, And she says

(10:20):
she met these guys on a divorcedwebsite. She can't remember which one.
There wasn't much more to the storyother than those awkward moments in the midst
of it happening, and so shedid send me a private message, So
I'm gonna go check to see ifshe sent that one. No, but
I can do a follow up onthat. So she didn't get back to
me. But you know, thingshappen, and you know so, but

(10:46):
I will follow up with that storyin a later episode. Okay, So
this next one is for my friendJoanna, and she said that she got
set up on a blind date andwhen she showed up, she found out
her date was an ex boyfriend.These are juicy, so she said.
Back in the early nineties, thedate when as follows, my best friend's

(11:07):
boyfriend made reservations at a fancy steakhousewhere her friend Lisa and I met Ron
and Jeff. At the minute wegot introduced, both of us simultaneous simultaneously
said, oh, hell no,we were actually engaged once upon a time.
He cheated on me with someone thatI thought was a true friend.
Instead of getting his belongings out ofmy house, he stole my dog as

(11:28):
a way to get me to talkto him. Okay, that's a huge
red flag right there, Like,what, how do you steal someone's dog
just to get them to talk toyou? Like, that's crazy. So
she called the police. They cameto and filed report. They said,
do you really want to go tothe pound over your dog? A wordplay

(11:48):
from the popo made me laugh.Happily, Jeff ended up meeting the police
and giving me back my dog.I still refused to speak to him.
What little clothing and belongings he hadleft was on him. I backed up
and drove most of the clothing toPhilly and handed them out to the homeless
girl. Girl. That's epic.I did save his favorite Italian suit and

(12:09):
slashed it up, filled the pocketswith cat litter and garbage, and bagged
it in a few other choice itemsthat were mostly work clothing and dropped them
off to his new girlfriend's house.Mmmmmm wow. He stole three thousand dollars
from my house as well when heleft to buy her an engagement ring.
Oh girl, I found out aboutthe affair because this dumb ass took her

(12:31):
to my uncle's motorcycle shop. Like, hello, you taking a bitch to
my family. Anyways, my unclecalled me immediately. What the mmm right?
Anyway, since the dinner was onreservation, we both decided to sit
through it. He tried to apologizeafter telling me how much she left him
over and told him that karma atits fines. I told him, this

(12:52):
is kara at its finest. Anyway, that's it, and I'm pretty sure
he's still single to this day.He's in peace and I'm at peace.
Okay, So here's some that Ifound on the internet. I went on
a date to meet this lady atthe mall. She was there with a
friend. She told me she onlydates men that date one person. Well,

(13:13):
I mean that's pretty much the standardright for most people. Upon leaving,
I escorted her to her car thatwas on the other side of the
mall. I had with me mypersonal phone if she could take me around
to my truck. So she did. After I left her car and got
into my truck, I realized Ileft one of my phones in her car,
so I called her to tell her. She said, how could that

(13:35):
be possible? I said had?I said I had. Says you're heading
to Fountain Hills. I was alittle bit reluctant, but she said,
go buy the sauce and I'll runit out to you. So I did
just that, got my phone back, and I went home. While sitting
on the couch, she calls meback. However, a man answered and
asked me if I enjoyed taking hisfiance out on a date. I said,

(13:58):
I didn't know she was engaged.She told me she was single.
He says, you can have her. I said, I don't want her.
She lied to me. I saidI'm sorry, good luck, goodbye.
He said goodbye. All right.Well that was a definitely whoosh.
All right. So here is anotherone. This person says, I have
so many, but I'll go withmy most recent one. I met a

(14:20):
guy at a steak single adult fireside. We decided to meet up for dinner.
When we got there, I shookhis hand and before my hand was
back by my side, he hadpulled out his hand sanitizer and poured it
into his palm. This is twentytwenty three, not twenty twenty. We
go to the place he picked,which was an India restaurant in the back
of a gas station with only onelight plastic silverware. You picked out your

(14:43):
drink from the gas station fridges.During dinner, I noticed a zip lock
with some papers in it. Iassume it was old school printed directions,
which is fine as we live ina tiny place with little cell service.
It was snowing, so I assumedthe bag was to ensure it didn't bleed.
When I asked him about it,he proceeded to tell me he printed
it off his resume for me tohave a copy of He was quite offended

(15:03):
when I said I didn't need acopy of it. Then he pulled out
a note card and started reading questionshe had googled for a first date.
Again points for trying. His firstquestion was what is the most important value
to you? I said faith?He said honesty. Then he says,
due to those values, he felthe needed to tell me the truth that
he didn't believe the church was true, and since I clearly was a beloved

(15:26):
daughter of God, I needed toknow he had already researched it and felt
for himself it was false. However, he wanted to date someone with our
church values, as then they wouldmost likely have little to know sexual partner,
which would cut down on the oddshe would ever get a sexually transmitted
disease. This is the point whereI start to wrap up the date.
Dinner was finished, I was leavingearly. He then tells me he hasn't

(15:48):
asked me all the questions he lookedup and starts to quickly read them off
the note card. I tell himwe don't have to finish him. No,
no, no, it's okay.So in the parking lot, I
give him a hug and I thankhim, at which point he once again
tries to handle his resume in caseI wanted to keep a coffee. Needless
to say, I did not goback for a second date. Girl,

(16:08):
You know that kind of sounds likemy date with the guy that was just
super weird with carrying around a gallonof water everywhere we went. Like the
guy that I guess you can calla date. He actually got laughed at,
like I mean, you could carrywater around, but a whole entire
gallon like he had that gallon.He was probably in town two days.
He stayed in a hotel. Sobut like the entire time we were together,

(16:32):
No, he did not hook up, by the way, Okay,
but the entire time that we wentout together to see the sites and all
that, he had that gallon withhim. And I was just like,
dude, h well, hey,maybe hydration is good though, you know,
all right, this one's a littlecrazy. This lady says that I
work in sales and I was supposedto go out with this lady's son.

(16:53):
I'm guessing you're probably young and she'sa little older. Okay, so she
well, you know, as longas he's an adult. But you know,
you do hear the May December romances, and there's nothing wrong with that.
There's actually a lot of people andI'm going to put a side note
here real quick. I watched thisvideo where this older women were dating younger

(17:15):
guys and it was on YouTube,and the comment section was like what I'm
hey, I'm happy for all thesepeople, but you had this outpouring of
people saying, hey, I'm fifteenyears older than my man or a guy
would say, Hey, my wife'sfifteen years older or twenty years older,
and they're the happiest they ever beenin their life. And I was like,

(17:36):
that's really cool. Actually, youknow a lot of the guys say
that older women don't have the drama, they're still attractive. They you know,
there's a lot of things that areperks this scenario. So you know,
when you hear about guys always wantingyounger women, that's not the case,
not at all, not at all. And so anyway, I just
had to interject there. And ifyou watch ninety Day Fiance, there's this

(18:02):
really famous couple Jenny, she's sick. Well she's I think sixty four sixty
five now, but at the timewhen they well, okay, I first
discovered this couple when she was likesixty and he was thirty. He's a
guy from East India and apparently theyhad been together for ten years at that
time, so they were what hewas twenty and she was fifty at the

(18:25):
time. But you know, lookat them now, I think they're I'm
just gonna conservatively say they're sixty fiveand thirty five now, but they they're
the happiest couple, and I mean, you know, love is love,
it doesn't matter what your age is, like literally, like so just you

(18:45):
know, people find people that theylove and just go with it. And
I'm saying, that's that's where it'sat. Just do that, you know,
just yes. So anyway, soback to this story. So the
lady said she worked in sales andshe was supposed to go with this lady's
son she gave She said, shegave my number and he reached out to
me or so I thought it washim, but it was his brother.

(19:06):
I went on a date with thewrong son, it didn't work out,
and now I'm going out with herother son. Why wouldn't you just like
say no, no, no,no, Why why are you subjecting yourself
to that? Seriously, why areyou going out with somebody you don't want
to be with? Okay, okay, So I think this one is from

(19:27):
a guy, he says. Thisis the next story. By the way,
he says, I learned girls canbe just as creepy as guys on
this one. Typically, we matchedmessaged for a bit and then decided to
meet. We go to Gurus forlunch, and she was so socially awkward
eventually opened up and then suggested weenjoyed the view on Wy Mountain parking lot.
Stupid enough, I agreed to gothere. When we arrived, we

(19:48):
decided to name all the buildings thatwe knew. Suddenly, she takes my
aux ox and starts playing love music. Then she asked me if I wanted
to know what her favorite building was. She points at the Provo Temple and
says she works there and she lovesit. After that, she told me
she had a strange testimony of thetemple, especially in eternal marriage. Wait,
is this a first date? Uh? Okay? And then she reaches

(20:12):
over and pulls hair off this guy'sarm. The guy says, like,
what the heck? She says,I want to play with you? He
said. I was so scared whatshe was gonna do. Next that I
told her I had somewhere to be. Yeah. While I was driving her
back to your place, she asked, how soon do you want to get
married? And I said, Idon't know when I find the right girl
for me. Dude, Yo,that's crazy, y'all. It's a crazy

(20:38):
dating world out there. Like,seriously, are you feeling better about being
single? Because, like I said, this is a Valentine's special for the
singles out there, or you know, you might be in a relationship and
you want to like listen in.That's cool too, congratulations if you are
in a happy, you know,relationship. Like I said this, hopefully

(20:59):
it makes us singles feel a littlebit better. Okay, because it's Valentine's
Day, there's no flowers or dinnerwhatever. I guess it could take myself
out. I can buy myself flowers. I don't want to get that song
started because my daughter, my youngestdaughter, knows that song gets stuck in
my head. Okay on the radio, Oh yeah, So we have this

(21:21):
thing where on the bluetooth you canpick out a song on my phone,
and I told her to pick meout a good song and all that,
and she plays that song. Okay, the Mighty Cyrus. I can buy
myself flowers. Like it's not abad song. But dude, this song
you uh turned on the actual radioand I was playing Oh yes, yes,
yes, yes, so my daughter, I don't know if you could

(21:41):
hear her in the background. I'mgonna I'll try to boost the audio and
in post production here so you canhear. So. So my daughter plays
this song, and you know,I'm like, oh my gosh, she
knows how that song is like anearworm, like it an earworm is like
a song, and that gets stuckin her head. And then so I

(22:03):
turned it off and then I turnedon the real radio and guess what song
popped up? Yep, that song. And I was like, you gotta
be kidding me. Hey, there'sworse things though. Okay, Like I
said, it's a good song,I just don't want to have it repeating
in my head twenty million times aday. Okay, Okay, So we're
on to the next story here.This lady says a guy took me out

(22:26):
to dinner and kept pretending to fallasleep while I was talking. Then he
was basically, I just want totalk to my He basically just wanted to
talk about my best friend the entiretime. Oh oh ooh, that's creepy.
So let me get this straight.So he basically took you out to

(22:47):
get closer to your best friend.Dude, tell your friend run. That's
crazy. Okay, So here's anotherone. Uh So, I'm just reading
these verbatim off the internet, andso like, if the wording sounds weird,
I'm just reading it how it's written. Okay, okay, so it's

(23:07):
not mine. It's my brother's story, but I'll tell it from his point
of view. I had met thisgirl at a tri steak dance and she
was super pretty and the granddaughter ofa general authority. So I asked her
out and she said yes. Theday of the date comes and I stupidly
decided to go to Taco Bell beforeall right, I think we know where
this is gonna go. I pickher up and we go to the State

(23:29):
Fair. We're having a super goodtime. She's cute and funny, awesome
stuff. Then Taco Bell takes it'srevenge. Oh this is gonna be a
juicy one. Oh yeah, Ilet one loose and it turns out to
be much more than gas. Sohere I am on a date with a
hot girl and I literally just poopedmy pants. That's funny. With my
quick thinking, I see that there'sa ring toss game with sweatpants as the

(23:52):
prize. I tell her we shouldplay and get matching sweatpants. So we
play, and I'm getting whiffs ofstink, and I know she is too.
We eventually win and get the sweatpants, and I suggest we go put
them on right. Then I goto the porta potty and take off my
pants and underwear and throw them downthe toilet. Abyss he throws them in

(24:12):
like the blue water crap, andthey're gone. I open up the sweatpants
into my whr. It's a sweatshirt, dude. I'm panicking, but I
just can't run out but naked.I squeezed my legs into the sweatshirt arms
and I'm holding it up around mylegs. I ran to the car.
I totally left her there, andI have not spoken to her to this

(24:33):
day. No, you know what, I would have just told the truth,
or would have just told the truth, like you let one go,
Hey, you literally let one go, but you let a good girl go
to you let two go that day? Dude. No, that's oh my
god, you definitely okay, let'ssee, I'm gonna do one more.

(24:57):
Okay, one more. We're wrappingit up, and you already jammed your
sweatpants down the toilet. There's nothing. No, No, they're gone.
I don't know if you guys watchSaturday Night Live SNL, but there was

(25:18):
lowered expectations. Lowered expectation. Okay, Matt TV. Okay, so one
of the ones Jack Smiley or whatever, and he goes, Okay, here's
his advice. If you ever dropyour keys and lava, just let him
go because man, they're gone.I think we could say the same for

(25:40):
the guy's pants and the porta pottytoilet, because man, they're gone.
If you tried to pull those out, Lord knows what is on those pants.
Oh my god, Okay, Igot one more, guys, let's
go. Don't put them on afterthat. No, no, no.
If you guys have not watched themovie Tommy Boy, please just go on

(26:03):
YouTube and search the airplane scene.Okay, it deals with a I'm gonna
give you a spoiler. So TommyBoy is pretty big, played by Chris
Farley, and he gets his tiestuck in the He's in this little,
tiny airplane bathroom and he's a bigguy, a real big guy. So
airplane bathrooms are like super small,right, So he's trying to like do

(26:23):
something when he's leaning down and histie gets stuck. It's in the toilet
and somehow he hits the flush becausehe puts his hand up and next thing
you know, he's like, oh, the toilet sucking is tie nome and
he's like stuck to the toilet,so like literally he like struggles with the
toilet and then the end of thescene is he bursts out of the bathroom.

(26:47):
You just see the bathroom door explodingopen with all this toilet paper going
everywhere and he's covered in blue andit's like the funniest That was my favorite
part of this movie. So literallywatch Tommy Boy if you have not seen
that one of this I hate reallygood movie and rip Chris Farley, we
still love you. Okay, Igot one more, Let's do this.
Yeah yeah, okay. So thisperson says worst date experience. When I

(27:15):
was a senior in high school,a family friend who was a year younger
than me asked me on a date. It was this first date, so
that's always awkward in and of itself, but we were good friends and I
told him i'd love to. Littledid I know he had planned a double
date with my ex, who hadasked one of my best friends. And
to make it worse, we hadonly been broken up for like a month
and hadn't talked since the breakup.Oh this is juicy. So anyway,

(27:40):
we get there, realize what wasgoing on. We both decided to make
the best of it for the sakeof our dates. We are going to
Salt Lake City to see Christmas lightsand grab a bite to eat. We
rode the train there and for themost part the date was fine until it
was time to go home. Wemissed our train, and because it was
so late, the other one wasn'tcoming for another hour. Now, just
so you understand, I was definitelythe mom friend in this situation, so
I made sure everyone told their parentsand we got updated tickets, etc.

(28:04):
While I'm running around making sure everyoneis good and everything's taken care of,
my ex had fallen asleep at thestation waiting for the train, which I
thought was weird. He's usually superbubbly and chatty and stuff, But I
was so stressed about getting home Ididn't think too much of it. When
we finally saw the train pulling up, I walked over and woke him up.
I offered my hand to help himup, and he took it.
The second he was standing on hisfeet, he shoved me backwards and proceeded

(28:27):
to throw up all over the place. It got all over his shirt and
my shoes. I yelled at mydate to hold the train as long as
you could, because it was thelast train of the night, but my
ex was literally in the middle ofthrowing up as the doors opened. We
eventually got on the train literally secondsbefore it started moving away from the platform
and both covered in puke. Weasked the train attendant for paper towels or

(28:47):
something, and all they had werepaper bags. They were usually used to
actually throw open. We tried touse those to clean up for a little
bit, but the most part wehad to endure the hour and a half
long train ride. Then we hadto get in his car and drive the
other thirty minutes to get home.Everyone home and dropped off. It was
brutal. But now my ex andI have talked about it and we both
just laugh. Wow, that's funny. I hope there's like cameras for that.

(29:17):
That's funny. Oh my gosh,you guys. That's great, all
right, everybody. So that isit. Happy Valentine's Day, and I
wish you the best. And ifyour relationship, congratulations, And if you're
looking for love, I hope youfind it. Peace, prayers, love.
This is gonn