Breakups & Business: What They Don’t Teach (Athletes & Entrepreneurs) About Love, Money, & Success.

What do love, legacy, and leadership have in common? They all get tested in the courtroom. In this episode of Breakups & Business, we’re joined by Genghis Shakhan, Esq., founding partner at Shakhan & Wilkerson Law Firm. This isn’t just a conversation about law; it’s about love, loss, and the power of being legally prepared for whatever life brings, from personal to professional.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
There was a time people counting leave out put their
MoU me. I'm look inside.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I got to.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Know to know what that says.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
But what I believe that God's my day.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
I don't need you to bother me. I know who
I help. I'm created that be and I ter reflect
what my eyes there to see all the bigness eyeplesas
and this persibility even know.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
What I see.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Shine shu get me.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
There is no time re stad for the aside doll
and a betterin th that.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Boy is the.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
Inter list still is self paying the diction.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Of kids say all these simple moad by something not
take your mind the later you buy your preso and
thay you on boing this play hand clean not died all.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Wait then it's nine neither street.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
Welcome, ah, welcome, Welcome to another segment of these seek
elevation experience with yours truly, Attorney Alakisha, I am an attorney.
Yes you did hear that correctly, but I may not
be your attorney. So any legal information that I talk

(02:23):
about I speak on is not to give you legal advice.
It is to give you legal gems for you to
take that, to build upon that and go get more
as a matter of fact this segment, our guess is
also an attorney. So anything either one of us may
talk about, oh it's just double the good, but it's

(02:44):
not legal advice for you, but you can take it.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Right here is where real issues and real people.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
And real conversations takes in a stage because, as I
always say, change does not happen in silence, and we talk.
Our guests and our listeners range from sports and entertainment
to business and community. Right here is where we elevate
voices that need to be heard. We don't just inspire though.

(03:13):
We don't just have voices to be heard to inspire you.
That is great, but we challenge the status quo and
we also have a call for action if we want
to actually see the change and not just feel good
about hearing it. So today, I'm excited about today because
I think this is I believe. I don't think I

(03:34):
believe this is one of the topics that we don't
go too deep in. But I see very very often
a lot of times we are excited about our gifts
and our our talents. We start businesses, we provide our
gifts as athletes and creatives. We're out there leading the community.

(04:00):
But a lot of times we have issues, concerns.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Or probably don't even pay much attention.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
To the relationship part outside of all of that, but
that can affect every aspect of that.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
So we're gonna talk about that.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
We're gonna talk about business and relationships and how the
two intertwined, and how it's important that you do not
put it on the back burner, that you do not
acknowledge that all of it goes together. So we're gonna
get into We're going to get into the love, the loss,

(04:36):
and the power of just being legally prepared for whatever
life brings, and sometimes when we're not even prepared, just
being legally positioned. And the way to be legally positioned
is having those individuals behind you that can do that
if you were not prepared. And our guest today is
one of those individuals. You know, if I put my
name on it, it's serious. There are guests today has

(05:00):
a passion for this. It exudes out of him and
his partners, and they have a great success rate with
representing and educating their clients and family law. So that's
why it's big for me. I know a lot of
attorneys have a lot of colleagues. Obviously that are attorneys.

(05:22):
Not to knock anybody, but what resonates with me is
when a passion exudes outside of you other than the label.
So let me get into the introduction of our guests.
Ginghis Shakhan is a founding partner of Shakhan and Wilklson
Law firm listen and as a founding partner as I

(05:43):
just said it stated earlier, both of them, they're not
just founding partners practicing law. They lead with their hearts.
They lead with strategy. You don't believe me, go follow them,
you connect with them. I'm pretty sure at the end
of the show we'll figure out how to connect can
track back on individuals.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
The reputations precedes them, but they lead with.

Speaker 4 (06:04):
Their heart, they lead with strategy, and they lead with
a deep belief that justice should be accessible to all.
Genghis is a proud and I'm gonna slow down, I
say a proud He make sure, he will make sure
he lets you know this. A proud graduate of the

(06:25):
Buckeye State. He loves it so much, it's so nice.
He had to do with thrice. Genghis earned his undergraduate
and two graduate degrees from the Ohio State University, where
he studied postcolonial literature. He originally had his sights set
on becoming a college professor in education, but his journey

(06:48):
took a powerful pivot from education in the school sense
to education in the legal world. So the two really
married each other.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
You see, I did that.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
So he understands family law. The two married each other,
very successful marriage and that education and legal world. But
here he shows his passion for advocacy and his newfound purpose.
He earned his Juris Doctor degree from Atlanta's John Marshall
Law School. We both are graduates from there, a very
very focused law school with people that have passion and

(07:26):
seriousness like us. And he solidified his path and he
continues to solidify his path as a champion for individuals
and families navigating of life's most personal challenges. In what
is more personal than intimate relationships. Genghis credits his success

(07:49):
to three extraordinary black women.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Not surprised. They're not surprised there.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
And these women that he credits his success to believed
in him long before the world even knew his name,
and that same belief they poured into him today he
brings that into every case he touches whether he's in
the courtroom or the community, because trust me, he is

(08:18):
in both. He is spending all of his time trying
to elevate the next situation. But when he's not in
the court rooman community, he is spending his cherished time
with his daughter, or he gets lost in the book,
reading them very often, or writing one or two of them.

(08:40):
And we'll talk more about that later. But he is
driven by purpose and he is rooted injustice. And again
I'm gonna say this one more time, it's more than
it's about more than him being an attorney. It's about
him being a voice for the people. So with no
further ado, I am going to bring ginghis to the stage.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Good evening, Good evening. How are you?

Speaker 4 (09:08):
I am amazing now that I see your face. Great,
how are you today?

Speaker 2 (09:14):
I am I'm blessed and I'm very honored, I should say,
and it is a privilege to be here with you
on your on your podcast or your broadcast. I'm not
sure how we're how we're marketing these things these days.
I do want to share with some of your listeners
that you were a great mentor coming into the legal space,

(09:38):
especially from John Marshall. And so it has been, like
I said, a crazy journey that are our our business
ventures have connected, especially you know, post post law school.
So again, very honored to be here with you today.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
Listen, the honors minds to my light acknowledges yours. It's
easy being a mentor that would we deem it when
there's individuals who is just hungry, ready to eat and
want to pull all the food to the table. And
that's what that's what you and your partner did, Chelsea.
And then not even that talking about pulling food to
the table. Listen, they didn't just say mentor when they

(10:18):
brought me out when they acts for my time, they
showered me in it. I mean from food and I
like to eat, so you know that. I mean took
me to this one restaurant that was absolutely phenomenal. You
can eat from like different parts of the country and
stuff like that. So they were showing me all types
of stuff. So that made it very easy. But outside

(10:39):
of that, like I said earlier, when we connect with
individuals that are liked aligned, it's very easy. Right our time,
we feel like we have more of it when we
connect with people like that. When we don't we were like,
we don't have enough of it. So that was very easy.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
All right.

Speaker 4 (10:57):
So what I always do, Yes, I do an introduction
for my guests, but I always like for my guests
to speak from their own voice. Just talk to the
listeners the viewers about just.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Who you are.

Speaker 4 (11:10):
One thing that I know is very important, whether it's
products or services, is that relatability. Someone just saying ah, Okay,
this is a real person here and feel that, especially
when you have titles such as ours, can already be
very intimidating people. Hear attorney, I always tell people that's

(11:30):
a tag, that's a title. There's a person right that
carries that. So just talk to the people a little
bit about who you are.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, absolutely, So I hail from. You've already gave me
such a wonderful introduction the Buckeye State. And you know,
my undergraduate degree is from the Ohio State University out
of the big ten. So for you SEC fans, you know, well, well,
I have nothing but great things to say. I am

(12:00):
in in the state of the wonderful state of Georgia,
and I do like Georgia football and Georgia Tech and
learning to get a little bit more into Georgia State.
So and even of course because we have an officer
making Mercer University, so I am trying to embrace the

(12:22):
local cuisine when it comes to sports in the state
of Georgia. However, as a young man, my mother was
a and I do want to say again happy to
be here, and I'm here on behalf of myself as
well as my partner, Chelsea Wilkerson. I always want to
give her her flowers because of what we have today

(12:42):
and what we've been able to build. She has been
a co creator in that. So I see her commenting
in the space there, so wonderful, wonderful to have her
as a partner. So from Ohio. My mother she was
she worked for Camoco, had start head Start federal program.

(13:02):
She was an educator in early childhood education, and she
had a passion for it that really bubbled up to
the surface in in in her and I essentially really
kind of really followed along in that path. And so

(13:22):
I found myself at some juncture I was on a
pathway to at least I felt like I was to
becoming a college professor. However, I did take a pit
stop in post secondary high schools. I basically start working
in education, and so I've really had a passion for

(13:44):
working with young people. I had a passion for sharing information,
for being involved in the community, and so that passion
I think has spilled over really into the legal space.
And so one of the things, and I know that
you have questions to ask, but one of the reasons
why I felt like this was a great pathway for

(14:08):
me was because of some of the personal things that
I had experienced, and in both the civil and the
criminal side, and so I always felt like, you know,
if I were in that sector, maybe I could you know,
make a difference. And I thought about how I could

(14:28):
serve people in my community from you know, from that
from that space as well. And so that's what, you know,
kind of got me inching toward, you know, basically really
making a career change and deciding to pick up pick
up the legal the legal part of things.

Speaker 4 (14:50):
Yeah, and and and that's what makes it deep when
individuals pull things from experiences, something that tugs on them
and they connect the dots versus just saying, oh, I
want to find this to do it because I think
this is just lucrative or I think this is this
you can tell the difference between the two. Nothing to
knock either. But I just know when you know, okay,

(15:11):
what tugs me, what I love, also what I can
evolve in and make money from it. It's a whole
different situation and a whole different conversation. Is not just
sympathy feeling bad about people we represent them.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
It's empathy. You could put yourself in the place of
those people. Those are just two different levels.

Speaker 4 (15:33):
So I hope individuals hear that just from what you're saying,
and like you said, the evolution that you even did
just from starting I mean education, you're constantly doing that.
You moved into a different sector. But when you move
into an area such as what you practice, which is
family law, there's a lot of education that has to
go on there. You get people, you and your partner
get people at very vulnerable states, angry states, confusion states.

Speaker 3 (15:56):
I can only imagine. Yes, So let's back up a
little bit.

Speaker 4 (16:03):
As you decided to transition from what you was doing
where you thought you were going, can you remember time
that it was just something that turned and said, ah,
I know I want legal, but I want it to
be family law. I mean that is a I don't
think people understand how heavy.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yeah, that area practice is, so.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
You know I initially and I think this probably happens
to a lot of attorneys. I suspect, but and many
undergraduates have the same experience. I can recall going to
undergrad I was interested in history and philosophy, and I
may have changed majors two or three times, and so
the same thing kind of happened with law school. I

(16:46):
was very interested in civil rights and so and more
of the civil side of things. I did get a
taste of criminal law. Also worked a little bit in bankruptcy, however,
or I had an experience and this maybe speaks to
your question of really going through a divorce personally and

(17:10):
being kind of embroiled in a custody fight doing it
pro sey. That left a very bad taste in my mouth,
and I felt like things were a little on the
one sided side, which a lot of fathers that come
to us what they feel, and I just felt like

(17:30):
if I had some representation, things might have gone differently.
Matter of fact, I'm confident things would have gone differently, however,
and I don't want to put all the onus on
the justice system. A lot of it, like many of
the some of the men and women that come to us.

(17:51):
I felt like, because it was family law, it's something
that you know, a lot of di I wires will
try to know. Hey, this is something that I can
probably do myself if I, you know, crack open a
few books, do a few Google searches, and you know,
I can get in the courtroom and advocate for my
for my interest. However, I did a horrible job of

(18:13):
it because I just was not as informed about the law.
I chose to focus more on the pathos as opposed
to the logos, which you know, obviously if you are
if there's going to be a custody change in this case,
I was asking for a modification, then of course you

(18:34):
know it's going to be based on the best interest
of the child's standard. I wasn't really clear on what
that standard was. I wasn't really clear on, you know,
what I needed to do to make my case. All
that I really came armed with was not evidence, however,
you know, just really a just kind of an emotionally

(18:57):
charged testimony that was not going to carry the day.
And so that was you know, kind of my in
law school, I remember having that you know, really epiphany
like Hey, you know, I want to help people. You know,
obviously you know I'm not a nun. You know, I

(19:18):
have to you know, we do have to earn an income,
right we have student loans that have to be paid
back and so and I've always been interested. I've had
an entrepreneurial spirit, and I found as an educator a
lot of times, and you're an educator as well when
it comes to this space that in many instances, you know,

(19:38):
when I was working for a school system, I was
hamstrung by what I was permitted to teach, and a
lot of times it had to do with the curriculum
or it had to do with you know, state standards,
et cetera. So they I wasn't really allowed to, you know,
really color outside the lines. And so I fel felt like,

(20:00):
if if I had my own you know, business, how
I would do things differently, How I would serve clients,
you know, how I would try to make sure that
you know, justice was served and you know, these cases
as best as we could, and how I would try
to get my client's legal goals at And so that

(20:22):
was that was kind of the start of the first
few steps down that pathway toward family law, and there
you go.

Speaker 4 (20:29):
You have experience on both sides, actually real experience, and
learn experience and marry the two. Can you back up
a little bit just for the listeners to understand as
we uh throwout some jargon, what pro I mean you
you explained it in it, but I don't. They caught
it because they don't know what prose is. You were
explaining what pro se is. But just to back up
and explain, explain pro se.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Yeah, absolutely so I was unrepresented, which in the state
of Georgia and really in the United States, the majority
of folks in court are unrepresented, and so you know,
it always benefits the parties, especially when it's high stakes. Right,
So for me, there are there are a few scenarios

(21:13):
that are there are high stakes scenarios. One is when
it comes to your babies, when it comes to your
kids and you're talking about customers, you're talking about visitation,
or even if you're talking about child support, you know
those are those are high stakes zero really sometimes zero
sum games. Same with divorce and you start talking about
equitable division or dividing up a marital at state, especially

(21:36):
if it's fairly robust. A lot of times people's largest
asset is their retirement, and you know they might be
hundreds of thousands of dollars or paying alimony over the
course of a number of years. Those things are high stakes.
And so for me going back, if I could do
it all over again, you know, I would not have

(21:57):
been pro se unrepresented. I would have have sought counsel,
and to be fair and with myself, I actually did.
I still remember the law firm that I called. However,
because of my obligations, including child support, and I entered
into a settlement, a bad settlement agreement, I just did

(22:19):
not have the funds to engage that particular law firm
at the time, who was a men's rights law firm.
But yeah, pro se for me just did not did
not bode well. And I find that many of our clients,
some of them come to us after they have worked
their case pro se, and you know, they haven't really

(22:42):
got the traction that they like to get.

Speaker 4 (22:45):
And I want to back up some too, because this
is very important leading up to even where I want
to dig in that, because this applies to just individuals
and relationships period, because there's all individuals that have kids
out a well la it's Mary so it's to your
point you mentioned that it was unfavorable, especially when it

(23:07):
comes to men. Right, and then we're talking about individuals
who may have kids, which I was shocked to learn this,
especially in law school.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
But you expoun more on it because it's your experience there.

Speaker 4 (23:18):
When you have kids you're not married, the father has
to legitimize them, stuff like you have to prove you
are the father, but you can still be responsible for
child support. It's like this really wonky, weird situation. Can
you talk a little bit more about this that these creatives,
these entrepreneurs, everybody need to hear as they you know,

(23:41):
just get into these relationships, especially men.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
Right. And I know that you you represent a lot
of male sports clients that hopefully they sitting in and
listen again on this or you can you can pass
it along to them if you in the state of Georgia, right.
The state of Georgia is a little different in the
safe place like Florida, if you have a child out
of wedlock and there is a grace period upon which

(24:04):
maybe you could, you know, marry your partner where this
might not apply a few months. But if you have
your child out of wetlock and at one point in time,
you might have been able to grandfather into an administrative legitimation. However,
you have to be legitimized, and so what does that
mean in the state of Georgia. If you are unmarried,

(24:24):
then your your child. And some people do have problems
with this language because they feel like it's a little
on the antiquated side. However, your your child in the
State of Georgia is considered illegitimate right. And so if
you would like rights as a father, and that's the
big thing, If you would like rights, you have to

(24:45):
go through a judicial process known as a legitimization right.
And so what that basically entails is filing a petition. Now,
it's not something that's very terribly difficult to do that
they're really the rubbed. The challenge becomes when you start
talking about child support and visitation, because that's usually where

(25:07):
you know, things get a little combative, right, because child
support is going to be based on the combined to
just the gross income of both parents, okay, and so
many times what ends up happening is the custodial parent
who is mom may go to the child support agency. Okay,
the child support agency will pick up and prosecute the case. Right,

(25:30):
and so you may get served. Sometimes people they're not served,
but the child support agency will oftentimes ask our guys
to come in and do a paternity test, okay, and
they may ask for your financials, right. And so if
you know, usually if paternity is established, then you know,

(25:52):
child support moves forward. But they can move forward without
a paternity being established. And this is kind of where
our guys start giving us a call, is they have
a child support obligation that they're on the hook for,
but they can't see their child or they can't pick
up their child, right because you don't you don't have
rights as a tad. You have not going through the
legitimation process and so, but that will not stop the

(26:16):
Department of a Human and Family Services, and I might
mess that up from of course attempting to get child
support from you. And the other thing is is once
that order is issued, you know, those whatever you owe,
if you haven't paid it, it will you know, basically
continue to accrue and you will have arrears. And this

(26:38):
is where we see you know, sometimes clients who have
their license suspended or have other issues regarding trying to
travel outside the country because their passport is suspended, may
have arrears that they're unaware of because they have child
support application that they may not have been knowledgeable about.
And so going through the legitimation process, it's it's not

(27:02):
an arduous process. However, usually we do see some fighting,
you know, around as I said, the you know this
child support and the custody or the visitation. Custody and
visitation are used interchangeably, and so that is usually why
we get a call. Is sometimes people will file the

(27:24):
petition themselves. However, you know they are in for a
dog fight when it comes to you know what that
visitation and what that child support looks like, because as
you know, if you get a bad child support number
right and you know, you may be on the hook
for health insurance of the minor child if if you know,

(27:45):
if there are things of course, there's a child support
obligation and some things might be factored in, like if
it's an infant, so you're talking about you know, maybe
you know, if mom has gone back to work, some
of the childcare needs while you know, the or the
custo your parent is working. Those things might all be
factored in. And of course there's new legislation that was

(28:07):
out there about really recovering the cost you know of
prenat prenatal care and you know all that stuff as well,
so it can become quite expensive. And it's always in
our guy's best interest, in my opinion, to seek some
form of counsel, because again, that's that's high stakes when

(28:27):
you look at.

Speaker 4 (28:27):
That, absolutely so athletes, entrepreneurs, creatives, everybody.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
I mean, you got to hear this. It's all that
stuff is cute.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
You know, when you're out there, you're hot, and everybody
want to be next to you because you're making stuff.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
But there's ramifications that can come with that.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
I know, uh, they read the story all the way
and follow it for a while, but I know, like
Jez had just got I guess joint cussing in that.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
But to even know that you have to fight so
hard for a child that is just as.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
Much yours as it is someone else is, and you
didn't do anything wrong to that child, and I can
see if there was some type of protection for a child,
but if it's because I don't like you anymore and
I want everything that you've got in my pocket, plus'mna
keep the kid, and you got to fight for that.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
That's just one of those one of those things.

Speaker 4 (29:19):
Speaking of equitable, right, because some people think of that
word equity equal half half.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
It may not be that, right.

Speaker 4 (29:27):
It may be whatever the judge fear feel is equitable.
So that commingling. That's another situation where we're talking about
in relationships. If people have insurance, what if the job
one work at a job and that partner is paying
the premiums for the insurance, but for somebody else. Commingling

(29:50):
can happen in so many ways and can affect equitability.

Speaker 3 (29:53):
Can you speak more about that?

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah, So in the state of Georgia, equitable meaning people
believe like a s California, where you know community property states,
equitable does not mean fifty to fifty. It means what's fair. Right,
So I try to tell about tell my clients like, listen,
it's what's fair, buddy, like, so they're not splitting this

(30:14):
thing down the middle oftentimes, and so there can be
a lot of variables that impact what that division might
look like. Right. And so you know, sometimes infidelity right
somebody is the cause of the demise of the relationship
or the unwinding of the marital union. The other thing
is going to be like you mentioned, co mingling funds.

(30:38):
So sometimes people might inherit money, right, and so you
might get money from an inheritance, and if you take
that money and let's just say you keep it separate,
you have a better chance of you know, maybe retaining
that money in the event of a divorce. And I
say keep it separate. You know, there are a lot

(30:58):
of a lot of things that go into keep keeping
it separate. However, however, if you're commingling in the term
that you use, uh, which the courts are very familiar with,
if you take that money and you you put it
in a joint account, for example, with with you and
your spouse, that the court might you know, perceive that
as co mingling. Those those those assets, those moneies, which

(31:21):
means that both parties might be entitled to that when
it starts, you know, when you start talking about division
of the marital division of the marital estate. And so
there are other things when you're talking about the marital estate,
things that come before the parties were married. Right, So
if you've purchased a home before the parties were married,

(31:43):
that might not be part of the maritala state.

Speaker 4 (31:46):
Right.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
However, if you've used funds, and this is where it
gets really complicated and you you really should probably seek
some council if you've used marital funds for the upkeep
or the improvement of a non marital property or asset.
Let's say that you know, you use money from you know,
a joint account that you you share with your partner,

(32:11):
uh to purchase cryptocurrency in your own name. That still
might be divided when it comes to to a divorce
because you're using money from a joint account. But also
I'll always share with clients because sometimes people are really
hung up on how things are titled, right and whose

(32:31):
names things are and so uh that comes up a
lot and that you know those things and people are
really hung up on assets. But I will also say
there's another part that's really big, and that's the debts. Right,
So the debts are divided just like the assets are divided. So,
but co mingling is a thing you do want to

(32:52):
be careful. You know, absolutely have a you know, a
financial advisor, have have counsel, and you probably also to
think about a state planning is another thing that you know,
I mean, we always advise our clients to try to
advise our clients to really get some serious thought to
and we we are making more end roads into a

(33:15):
state planning. It is a practice area that will be
more involved in the coming months. But these things are
all important when you start talking about and pre nuptial
agreements and post nuptial agreements, absolutely right, So all of

(33:35):
that stuff is super important, especially like I said, with
your clients Ale, you know who are high net worth earners.
These are things you want to you really want to
think about. I think about some athletes and entertainers tyresee
uh recently, I think had some some marital drama. DeAndre Ayden.
I think he plays for the Lakers. He recently is

(33:57):
kind of in the media for he flew a young
lady out from California to Turks and Kekos. I don't
think anything happened. But you know, with Diddy and the
recent The Man Act and all that other stuff, you
want to be really careful about, you know, you know,
committing criminal offenses along with you know, of course, if

(34:19):
you have a child, then you know you're looking at
some stuff that might be happening civilly, which is what
recently happened with Shannon Sharp. Even though it kind of
started criminal, became civil. There was a payout, and so yeah,
all of these things. Family law intersects with pretty much
every other area of law a lot.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Of times everything.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
I mean, it's they're literally handcuffed together, like you said,
from a state family law like, these are the people
that have to be on your team. Things that and
that's why elevations here WI help you to elevate and
how you need to think. If we're going to talk
about legacies and whatever that means to you, it still
means while you're living and beyond, it's a legacy. These
are the things that we have to think about and
talk about, and family laws one of them. Some people

(35:02):
say I never get married, but we clearly are talking
about points. Even if you didn't walk down an aisle,
jump over a broom, it still touches you family and individuals.
Someone has a question, but put up there too. But
before we get to that question, I just want to
take a break to reiterate again. Tournio Alakeisha Tournieyingiz. We
both attorneys, but we are giving legal gems, not legal advice.

(35:24):
We're given enough information for you to take it to
dig deeper, to research more or even more importantly, if
it's something that sounds really really great to you and
family law, reach out to Shatkanna Wilkinson Law Firm right
and get more So that way it's more specific. Specificity
is huge and legal. So please know this is education

(35:46):
and not legal advice. But I do have a question,
what is an example of maintaining separation of fund So
if there's an example you said, you know, we talked
about the commingling when you married, A lot of that
can happen, like you just said, you take out of
as fund, or you may be paying mortgage now you've
got that home. It wasn't inheritance, but now you had

(36:09):
this account and you're paying mortgage, or mortgage is automatically
being debited out of something. Book, But what are some
examples of maintaining separation of funds?

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Yeah, so, for example, let's just say that someone obtained
cryptocurrency prior to marriage. The cryptocurrency is stoed, stored on
a cold, cold wallet and you know, put away in
the safe. Right, you know that you're not accessing that
that cryptocurrency during you know, the time of the marriage.

(36:43):
At least you're not taking those monies. You know, maybe
perhaps from cryptocurrency, whether they're they're dividends or uh anything
and taking it and putting it into some kind of
a joint account. Right, That might be one example. But
the best the best example I can I can It's

(37:05):
not an example that I can provide the best because
there are always there's a there's there's a gray area, right,
which is where attorneys live in. Right, we live in
the gray And so the best thing I can always
advise our clients to do is if if there is,
for example, some of our clients, will you know, they
have inheritances, right, and so a lot of times it

(37:26):
comes in the form of real property, right. And so
if you are taking you've inherited a home, it's it's
it's it's a good idea, you know, not to really
use money from the you know, the marital estate to
improve the land, improve the property, to pay taxes, anything

(37:52):
regarding upkeep. If you have some kind of a separate income,
you want to make sure it stays separate, right, and
so and leave very little room for interpretation by the
court or you know, give you know, really you know,
some kind of an alley for the opposing attorney, because

(38:12):
I'm going to be honest with you. We look for
ways to get at those assets, right, and so if
I can find a way, and I have found ways
myself as well as Chelsea Wilkerson in which maybe someone
accidentally co mingled, right, and so we made arguments. Let

(38:33):
me give you an argument that I've made where a
spouse has has had a separate home, but used money
from a joint account to purchase a new h fact
system in the separate home that they had prior to
the marriage, right, And so you know, it was my

(38:55):
argument then that essentially this asset should be considered part
of the marital estate because funds were used for you know,
from the marital estate for its upkeep. Right. Now, you know,
it doesn't mean that it's you know, it's not the
strongest of arguments, and I can come in with some
case law, but you know, it might be and it

(39:17):
might be a strong enough argument to prevail and win
the day, you know, given what judge I'm in front of,
or you know, here's here's you know, going back to
what we discussed earlier. If the opposing side is pro
se and they don't have really a strong counter argument, right,
and the judge you know, may say, hey, well listen,
you know, counsel that that sounds like a good enough

(39:39):
argument to me. And so you know, that is an
example I think of co mingling. But usually those joint
accounts get people in trouble when you start talking about
commingling assets or you know, improvements to land, improvements to property,
those types of things. Or if you're gifting that's the

(40:01):
other part. If you're gifting things to your spouse, right,
that that might be a situation as well. We've had
issues with some gifts also that might be problematic.

Speaker 4 (40:16):
And one thing I want to point out, as ginghis
just mentioned state by state, it could change right as
you keep hearing.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Him reiterate in Georgia.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
In Georgia, so it's very important for you to be
familiar in whatever state that you're in. Some states are
more or less favorable to either type of spouse.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
And he mentioned also California.

Speaker 4 (40:38):
Wooh, you know in law school, California was one of
those in Louisiana, but California was one of those states
that was just like the wild wild West. The thing
to compare everything to it just does its thing like crazy.
But if you're in Georgia. It's very important to hear
this because it is one of those states. Correct me
if I'm wrong, But that's not as favorable two men,

(41:00):
it's you.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Said, Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. And and you know, I don't
want to misspeak because because you know, the the court
is supposed to, uh, the parents are I think the
wording is on equal footing when it comes to you know,
particularly custody, because that's where but many people have made

(41:23):
observations that you know, it seems like Georgia is a
little harder, less friendly to dads than it is to moms, right,
And so I think it depends on what jurisdiction you're in.
Some jurisdictions are probably a little friendlier you're you're you'll
probably find jurisdictions near a military bases might be a

(41:46):
little friendlier to fathers right where, you know, whereas maybe
you know, in a place like you know, Full County,
you know, you know, I don't know, right, And so
I mean, we do practice in multiple jurisdictions, So sometimes
we go into a place and we're like, you know
this this might be a dogfight, and the difference, you know,
sometimes judges right some judges are really pro dad, and

(42:09):
so I'm finding that, you know, with more with with
there there are organizations out there that are really really
lobbying for father's rights. Is there's a few that we
work with that are on our website. You know, as
awareness kind of gets raised, I think more and more

(42:30):
you're finding dads that are are you know, getting either
joint custody or primary but still overwhelmingly I would say that,
you know, most primary custody situations are are with mom
in the state of Georgia.

Speaker 4 (42:45):
Absolutely And for those who heard that answer, listen, you
need somebody like that behind you that has to argue anything,
because that was such an eloquent, fair answer. Were given
enough both sides, and one thing that you did say
that is important for people to know too.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
It just depends. We're humans, right.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
We're talking about us as attorneys, but everyone, every fact finder,
meaning judge or Jerry whatever, people are human and so
when you're talking about a judge, we don't know who
are what we're gonna get. But more importantly, this has
to be heard because people see this in criminal as well,
and they're like, how did that side not just win?

(43:24):
We're seen that this happened. Why did they just win?

Speaker 3 (43:26):
That's not how legal works.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
It's you bring the facts, you bring the law, you
make a persuasive argument, and the judge has to rule
based on what he or she receives.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
Not based on what you think seems obvious to everyone,
but based on the facts, evidence, and the argument that's
laid out before. To tie it two together. That's why
it's important to not do something pro sae at the
very middum. This is a question to you speaking of
pro se. So if we're talking to someone who, like
you said earlier, oh, I can't afford anything. I just

(44:03):
I can't afford someone to represent me. Is there a
way or is it probably not the best thing for
someone if I'm going to do pro se still to
invest in themselves, to have like a advisor instead of
going I mean to me, investing at least someone to
collaborate with.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
But you representing is the best best period. But what
do you think about that?

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Yeah, so you know the challenge in the hurdle is
going to be if it's going to be an attorney
for them to do so without you know, really within
the confines of representation. And so you know, one of
the things that you know, we really pride ourselves on
at our office is we have a few different alternatives

(44:51):
and options regarding pricing. So of course we have we
have a VIP service, which you know, for the most
part is a premier service, and then which speaks to
more accessibility. And then we have just a traditional retainer,
and then we have things like a sliding scale, and

(45:13):
that is a lot of times that's for our seniors,
right and for our seniors who have limited income, and
you know, they're either receiving some form of s SI
and maybe a housing voucher like Section eight or uh
we you know, we offer something we offer a legal subscription, right,
and so that kind of speaks to what you're you're saying,

(45:33):
a legal subscription. And then we do do pro bono.
So sometimes the pro bono cases we do are a
lot of times just victims of domestic abuse, right, So
we don't do like you know, divorces or even legitimations
usually with pro bono. Now that is our law firm.
But I will also say it's always it's important to

(45:55):
take a look at our website. We do have a
lot of resources listed there and that's one of the
reasons that we've invested so much into really providing literature
and our website because we want to we want to
help and inform people, right. So it's not it's not
about just turning a book. It's it's about really informing

(46:16):
our community and really availing and making ourselves accessible, you know,
our minds, our ideas, our strategies as well. So take
a look at the website, take a look at the
resources page. The other thing is, of course we've written
two books, and so one book is about divorce. If
you're going through divorce, and now this book is available

(46:37):
either as an ebook you can yep, that's one divorce
death by a thousand cuts, right, sounds very ominous, but
myself and my partner Chelsea Wilkerson, put a lot of
energy into what to expect and what to protect. Right.
So this book is available on Amazon, or you can
go in a hard copy, or you can go to

(46:59):
our website and not a website, but into Instagram and
or or social media and you can download it the
ebook form. Then the other book we have is about
child custody. So if you're in a child custody battle,
that book is also available on Amazon there you are
preparing for the child custody war because you know, why

(47:21):
is it titled like that? Why are we using warlike metaphors?
Is because these things are all out dogfights a lot
of times, right, there's a lot of mudslinging. It's emotionally
very charged, and so we wanted to pour ourselves into
I think a book or a couple of books that
would really prepare our either our clients or just the

(47:45):
general public about you know, these two areas of law
that you know can can really take you through right financially,
emotionally as well as spiritually. But then I would also
say there's some great agencies out there. Atlanta Volunteer Lawyers Foundation. Uh.
They help if you need a temporary protective order. They

(48:08):
also help some I think sometimes for people who are
being wrongfully invict evicted. I've volunteered with them previously. In
addition to that, there is the Atlanta Legal Aid. But
there's legal it's not just Atlanta. There's there's legal aid
and in every you know a lot of different communities
in in in the state of Georgia. I think there's

(48:28):
a in Middle Georgia there's legal aid as well. And
so they help folks that you know, have more domestic
type issues, domestic relations type issues, so whether it is
going to be sometimes they'll help with a divorce, especially
if there is abuse. And then of course there's a
child support agency. If you are, you know, do some

(48:52):
form of child support, you're not receiving it, they will
do all the heavy lifting for you, you do, you
know not you know, sometimes we'll get callers and I'll say, hey, yeah,
we can. We could take the case and charge you,
you know, thousands of dollars. A lot of times people
come to us because we move a lot faster than

(49:13):
the child support agency. But the child support agency will
also do all the legwork a lot of times and
you know, can get you some some some decent results
just in the arena of child support. Do want to
be very specific about that. However, sometimes a lot of
folks who do come to us with the child child
supports perspective, they are having issues many times serving the

(49:38):
opposing side, and so we have some resources available to us,
you know, for people who are trying to dodge service,
or people who are trying to duck duck out on
their child support obligations. Uh, we have skip tracers and
stuff like that that we can hire to track folk down,
private investigators. So you know, we we generally we'll get

(49:59):
you served well, you know, we'll find you. We'll find
somebody out there to find you. So if you if
you think you uh, if you think you could get
away you know your you know speed racer, uh, we'll
try to track you down.

Speaker 4 (50:12):
So as they say no cap, they will get about
to find you. So I had to ask that question.
But where I stand at is, if you're going to
step out there, and this is why we're talking about this,
and we're challenging the status quo and we're pushing back,
I'm not fluffing stuff.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
You need to think about this. You need to find
a way.

Speaker 4 (50:32):
If you're going to invest who you are and yourself
into someone, there's got to be someone in your pocket
right there for the things because life does happen and
we constantly see it get turned upside down for these things,
especially when we're talking about entrepreneurs, especially we're talking about creatives.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
And athletes and all that stuff. We think that's back here.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
But if you're owning, you're owning, that is the time
to make sure you write down a list of who
should be a part of my team. Who do I
look at that is immediate? You know someone that should
just be right there just in case. But you build
those relationships with those individuals as well and get an understanding.
But you've got to find a way and you have

(51:17):
to invest. There's just no question unless you just lose
all of your peace and your ownership. But as Ginga
stated various ways to walk into that situation, what would
you say? What is a lack from hearing from you
and not from Aloqisha, the lack of legal planning, whether
it's the prenups, we're talking about, custody, just even contractually

(51:41):
right When some of that stuff look like people think
that's crazy, But these relationships is a contract right, talk
about if something happens, what would it look like like
contractually write things down?

Speaker 3 (51:50):
But custody, having kids.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
Asset protection? How can that impact someone's legacy? We all
scream about legacy and livelihood. How can a lack of
plan in those areas?

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Yes, and I and I'm reminded of I think jay
z song He opens with legacy, legacy, legacy, and it
is it is very important. Right. So many people get
married without understanding you know the rights and privileges that
come with the institution. But it is you know, you
have signed a contract, right, and it's not just a

(52:21):
two person contract. You have involved the state of Georgia,
and that probably a three party contract is probably the
best way to think about little menage tire. Right, So
you know, Georgia is going to what their part exactly.
It's spicy, whether you like it or die. And so

(52:44):
one of some of the rights. Of course, when you
start talking about you know, parents' rights, right, you know,
protect the rights under the constitution Constitution of the United
States as well as you know Georgia. However, you know,
and going through a divorce, you know, it gets muddled
a little bit. Right. There is a primary usually usually

(53:05):
after the divorce, unless there's some form of joint physical custody.
There is a primary custodio parent and a non custodio parent, right,
And so that primary custodial parent will have the children
the majority of the time, the non custodio will have
you know, the other part of the time. Not only that,
there's legal custody, right, and so these are talking about

(53:26):
legal rights to your children. Right. So you contributed to
the making them. However, the state of Georgia is telling you, like,
this is how much time you will be permitted to
spend with your child, right, your biological child. And so
legal custody is going to impact things like religious upbringing,
things like you know, education, things you know, like for example,

(53:50):
extracurricular activities, which is a big deal. Right, So if
you if you want, if you're the non custodio dad
and you want your son to play football, and in
legal custody, usually in legal custody it is joint. However,
the caveat is usually in the agreement, the parenting plan.

(54:12):
You'll see that the custodial parent is the tiebreaker if
there is a disagreement, right, and so y'all are supposed
to talk about what, let's just say, extracurricular activities little
Johnny is going to participate in. However, if mom wants

(54:32):
Johnny to play soccer, you want Johnny to play football,
and y'all don't agree little Johnny's playing soccer, like if
she's a tiebreaker, right as a custodial parent per the
parenting plan, right, and so that is you know, you know,
it's kind of the plan or that order that court
order that comes at the conclusion of your divorce. It

(54:55):
might be a you know, marital settlement agreement, it might
just be a divorce order. With that parenting plan, it
spells out like what your rights are in terms of,
you know, spending time with your child, what you are
you know, legally really permitted to do, and in terms
of your feedback when it comes to raising and rearing

(55:17):
your child, what your contribution is going to be. And
if you fall out of line with that order, you
can be killed in contempt of court right, and the judge,
you know, could bring you back. We've had parties jailed
before for refusing to follow an order. We've you know,

(55:37):
we've seen their situations where custody might be flipped because
you're not following an order. Meaning, you know, if let's
say the custodial parent is not following the judge's order,
you get back in court. It's egregious enough where you know,
the judge says, hey, I'm tired of seeing you guys.
I'm going to flip custody over to the custodial parents.
Say in this instance it might be the father right.

(55:58):
So a lot of rights that are tied up in
in marriage, you know some of that stuff. You know,
we haven't even touched on the financials, the things that
you know are going to be divided and split up,
you know, seeing your retirement, you know, you know, fly
out the door. You know. I've seen situations where you know,

(56:22):
we talked about the d I wires and the pro
say folks, and I'll never understand people who have all
of these, you know, have a robust estate, a lot
of assets, have kids, and they were like, Oh, I'm
just gonna go in here and and work this case myself.
It is. It is its high state.

Speaker 4 (56:40):
No, it's mindset and education. And that's why I want
to do this. I'm telling I'm around it too. I've
seen I'm speaking to this, but I have clients and
I've been around people, and I think that have the
money right.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
People's mindset, if.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
It's not something that is ingrained in your mind that
this is really important, your disassociated and disconnected from that thing.
So they do think, oh I don't need that. I'm emotional.
I'm a going there and like you said, I'm gonna
go sell this and say this I don't need all.
But this is why we need to elevate we need
to understand how we're using words such as legacy, ownership

(57:17):
and all the things. We have to understand how we
move that way. And it's literally education. It ain't the money.
Sometimes it ain't access. It's what you're thinking right here.
And so that's why we're talking about it now, we're
talking about today to say this is not this is
not negotiable. Even before you have an issue, you gotta literally,

(57:41):
like I said, write a list of things that could
how can it go.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
So finish? I just had to jump in there and
say that.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Because that's perfect.

Speaker 4 (57:49):
That's because it's not about access. It's not about a
lot of stuff. For my exposure, a lot of things
is not about access. It's about choice and us choosing
what we want accessible to usn't what we don't. Yeah,
but then when we don't move the way that puts
us in the best light, we cry and wonder why
it's the dark. So now we're bringing the light out,

(58:11):
so we're gonna get there. We're gonna get there. So
this is very important. Can we segue into that talk
about the love?

Speaker 3 (58:18):
Right?

Speaker 4 (58:18):
So a lot of us think that's what's important to love, right,
I just love you ain't it. I mean Travis Hunter,
and I don't know his situation completely. I'm just bringing
up I know a lot of people were jumping on him. Yeah,
we were jumping on him because it was like the
prenup prenup and he felt again not accessible. He felt attacked, right,
he felt attacked. Maybe some people could have came a

(58:39):
different way, I guess. But the message people were saying
was been there, done it, Ben Bennet Bennett.

Speaker 3 (58:45):
We we're rooting for you.

Speaker 4 (58:46):
We see these things and wanted to happen. But the prenup,
he was love pre nup means you must mean you
don't love me. Can we talk about that love and
how that love can morph into the stopicide?

Speaker 2 (59:00):
Was it love and happiness? Was the song hot grits
thrown on him? But yes, so Travis Hunter, I was.
I was reading about it today. I don't know how
true it is, but from what and of course the TikTok,
so you know, uh take it for what it's worth.

(59:20):
But someone there was a TikTok that said that he
was married at a venue in the state of Tennessee.
And of course Travis Hunter is I know he graduate
from high school here in Georgia along with his wife. However,
I think he's playing professional ball in the state of Florida,
if I'm not mistaken. However, they My understanding is they

(59:43):
were married in Tennessee, and someone can always correct me
if I'm wrong. Tennessee has, its appears, has some very
interesting laws regarding a lamony right, and so a lot
of times these states where even you elect to get married,
you are bound by the rules and the laws of
those states or the states that you might reside right.

(01:00:07):
But to your point about love, we we we A
lot of times we walk a very Chelsea and I
walk a very thin line and counseling our clients regarding
these co parenting situations because they are by far a
lot of times the most explosive, right, And so usually

(01:00:30):
with the guys, I can you know I can be
a little more I'm not gonna say transparent, but you
know I can be a little more real, right, I
will say right, and and just I don't shrouded in
you know a lot of you know emotion or uh,

(01:00:51):
you know, flowery language. The first thing I usually say is, hey, man,
you picked her. Okay. So people will come to court,
they'll sit in front of their attorney, and they will
list everything that is evil, unholy, you know, unsanctimonious, everything

(01:01:13):
that's wrong, every mental illness the opposing side has, right, Like,
hey man, but you you laid up with this lady,
you know, and y'all had two children, right, so you
didn't stop at the first Okay. And so my first
cautionary tale to men and women would be, uh, you know,
probably maybe to do a background check on you know,

(01:01:35):
who you might decide, you know, to procreate with, and
you know, looking to their family history, looking to you know,
whether or not people and their family have you know,
any kind of mental health issues or even you know,

(01:01:57):
physical health issues, you know, because that might impact you know,
the cost of rearing a child, right, And so consider
all of those things before pro creating. Now we know
that that's probably not not going to happen, but those
are things to think about because whoever you decide to

(01:02:20):
uh pro create with, you are tethered to that person
for for the rest of your life, right, whether whether
you like it or not. You guys, and if things
don't work out, you guys are going to land in
front of a judge, right and and and oftentimes if
it is a situation where it becomes you know, overly litigious,

(01:02:44):
where there's a lot of back and forth. We see
parties go back and forth in front of judges every
couple of years, all the way you know, through the
child minor child's eighteenth birthday to where they join the
age of majority. So it can be quite expensive, but
it can also take an emotional toll on folks. So
you know, you mentioned love, you know, love a lot

(01:03:07):
of times, just it may not carry the day. And
in many instances, just being honest with you, some people
don't even survive the pregnancy. Most of them, I would say,
don't survive the pregnancy before you know, the parties might
have decided to kind of part ways. And now we're

(01:03:28):
talking about co parenting from two different spaces, right, and
so you know, there has to be something, you know,
more than love there. You have to really give some
serious thought about what kind of mother will would this person?
Do they have any maternal instincts? If they don't, then

(01:03:51):
that's probably a bad choice of you know, someone to
procreate with. You know, is this guy does he have
any paternal instinct right? Is he is he protective?

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Is what he was?

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
He going to provide for his child, and and and
you know, and you know the child's needs and health,
health needs, et cetera. Are you know, are they kind?
I mean basic things like you know, are they kind?
Are they are they nice?

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Will they if things go awry? And you always have
that's the purpose for people, you know, purchasing insurance, right
you drive your car, I have this car insurance in case,
you know, I get into a car accident out on
the road. So if things go awry, you know, will
co parenting with this person will it? Will? It be

(01:04:40):
hell on earth for me? You know what I'm saying.
And so those are things that I think about parents
or even would be parents, you know, planned parenthood, if
you know you're somebody that's even thinking about having a
child with someone, those are things you strongly want to consider.
In addition to you know, the love. Right, it's great

(01:05:02):
that you love one another, but you also want to
think about, well these other person honor their obligations after
the child was born or I'll use it in that
context of a child, but it can apply to you know,
a marriage, divorce, all of that as well.

Speaker 4 (01:05:22):
Absolutely or just in a relationship. That love is just
one match strike from hate. It can literally just turn
like you just said, you stove with this person, you
did this. And speaking of investigations, I mean, as we're
with people to be honest as humans, just things that
we may see, that's the investigation right there, that we
just ignore about each other. But my thing is when
you can't even plan for that, when you think someone

(01:05:44):
put on I've heard some crazy stories. I thought, give
somebody ninety days, you're going to see the real womb.
But I heard some stories that people put all the
way on until something happened. That's why we're educating you
now to even think about. I know it sounds crazy
right to write things out, put things down, because it
may not stop how someone acts reacts, but it can

(01:06:05):
help a whole lot if you had things written down
for someone to help you reposition.

Speaker 3 (01:06:10):
And something that didn't go the way you planned it.
But this is how we think.

Speaker 4 (01:06:14):
Sometime we talk about contracts in business, will think contract,
you don't trust me. You won't talk contract. That means
you don't trust me. Why can't it just be your word?
Go to prenup.

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
You don't love me.

Speaker 4 (01:06:28):
You already think that we're not gonna make it. Why
are we talking prenup? You don't a state what you're.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Sam gonna die?

Speaker 4 (01:06:35):
I plan on living a lot, you know, so our
mindset is already wrong about pre planning versus what we
think those terms mean, all the terms contracts, pre nups,
post nups, estates. All that means is that you are
a walking living legacy, and you take it seriously and
the person that you love and people you round do too.

(01:06:55):
That's all that means, Deborah Acts, does your firm a
legal insurance plans that employees have as a benefit through
their employers.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
Unfortunately we do not, and I'm very familiar with what
mss Whitaker is referring to. Unfortunately our firm does not.
I know that there are some firms out there that
do take that plan. However our firm is is unfortunately
not one of them. Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:07:26):
So how do you.

Speaker 3 (01:07:28):
If people come to you and say, you know what up?

Speaker 4 (01:07:30):
I hear Alikisha, I need I need uh shot con
and Wilkinson on my list that's in the pocket.

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
They are on a team.

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
What are some are there some pre things conversations, things
to have to build before if everything is fine, Like
conversations that have prior to y.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Yeah, so we what we do is we have a
couple of things if you if you are on social media,
definitely check us out. I think I g we are
g a divorce Underscore Family Law Attorneys if I'm not mistaken,
and then it is Shakana Wilkerson Law on Facebook. If

(01:08:09):
you if you go into our bio, you can you'll
find there is if you're going through a divorce, there
is a free download in there and so you should
take a look at that download. And if you go
to our website, I want to say that both the
download is available and on the website there is also

(01:08:31):
a few I think a few other resources that are
pretty helpful for those people who are vetting attorneys. Right,
so we we help you come up with some of
the questions that you want to ask an attorney that
you might be thinking about engaging. Right, So, sometimes experience

(01:08:52):
is really important, right. You know, not every attorney, uh
family law attorney goes to court, Okay, a lot of
some of them settle out of court a lot. Now
that might be important to know because if your case
is highly litigious, it may not settle. However, you know

(01:09:12):
your attorney might be more prone to settling and entering
into a you know, a deal that is less than favorable, right,
And so that's that's something to think about. But also,
you know, retainers as opposed to as opposed to flat fees, right,
So there are attorneys out there that do flat fees,

(01:09:34):
there are attorneys out there to do retainers, and so
all of that. We provide some questions to really help
especially newbies that have not engaged a law firm before,
or an attorney before, and really vetting law firms. So
we try to uh to do that. And then, of course,

(01:09:56):
like I said, a lot of the information on our
website and you'll find a bunch of it, volumes of information.
It's there for public consumption, and that's the whole purpose
of it is. We want to educate, inform and really
provide a space for people. We understand that everybody's not
going to retain an attorney, and everybody's not in a

(01:10:16):
position to retain an attorney. But I will say though,
if you are in a position to go to Magic City,
if you are in a position to purchase a Burking bag,
if you are in a position to get fluid out
to Miami, then you know, maybe you just need to
you know, realign your priorities is what you might want

(01:10:39):
to do, especially if you're taking you have one of
these types of cases where you know, and a lot
of times, you know, folks will impress upon us how
important it is, or how important their children are to them,
or how you know, how important you know, you know,
settling this case is to them. And so you know,
as I think my mother would say, you know, you

(01:11:00):
know your your I think your heart is kind of
where your wallet is. And so you know, if something
is important to you, then you probably should, you know,
invest in it. So if you are, if you are
in a situation where you have a domestic relations case
and it's pretty serious, you should think about counsel. However,
I will say this though, if you are in a
situation and usually people who call me you guys have

(01:11:23):
not been married very long. You guys don't have any assets,
You guys don't have any children. That might be something
y'all can settle yourself, you don't. I usually don't don't
take those folks money because you know, to be honest
with you, we won't be doing a whole lot for you, right,

(01:11:43):
and so you know we We pride ourselves on one
of the things about our intake. When we get through
the intake process, and you you actually you know, we
talk to the potential client and find out whether or
not it's going to be a good fit for ourselves
as well as the client. If the case, if we

(01:12:04):
can't help them, uh, then then we'll either a re
further out to someone we believe that might be able
to help, or I may say, hey, you probably should
just think about calling the child sport agency. And you know,
as opposed to forking out money to us, just calling
the agency and they can probably help you out better
than well, I don't say better than we can, but

(01:12:25):
for you know, a lower cost than we can.

Speaker 4 (01:12:28):
Right. Is there anything that we didn't cover that you
from your experience feels very important Jim, to drop to
individuals when we're talking about how this affects life.

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
Well, you mentioned planning, and I think planning is essential
and and really and no matter what what you're doing,
a state planning we touched one. So one guarantee that
we you know, I hate to be a what is
it called a sport? This is a sport alert You're
going to die? Right, all of us all of us will, right,

(01:13:04):
And so it's probably he's probably important to think about,
you know what you know, when you talk about legacy,
that was one of the terms that we use today
to think about what happens with your state, right, if
you have minor children, it's important because let's just say
you you know you're a single parent, or even if

(01:13:25):
you're married, you know, you go out here to get
hit by a bus. Your kids are in school, what
what is the school supposed to do? Who? Who is
your point of contact? Right?

Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:13:37):
Who has you know, have you assigned any guardians? Let's
just say that you you know you are a single parent.
You you know you are you haven't suffer an injury
on the job. You're incapacitated, but you're not dead. Who's
making your medical decisions for you? Right?

Speaker 4 (01:13:53):
Who?

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
Who's there is there anyone that says, yeah, you know,
maintain this person on life support? Right? Or who's making
financial decisions for you? Who's going to pay your mortgage? Right?
Who's gonna pay your bills? Are you going to lose
your house? You know while you're laid up in in
in the hospital, right? And so those are things that
I think any any serious person needs to really give

(01:14:15):
some thought to especially if if you have minor children, right,
but even if you don't, you want to think about
you know, your your state. And I think that you know,
that has plagued when I think about some of the
underserved communities, and I could talk specifically about black folk.
You see, folks like Prince and Uh, there was someone

(01:14:36):
I don't think it was Aretha Franklin someone else that
had passed and you know, passed without a will, right or.

Speaker 4 (01:14:44):
It was Aretha had something that was written that her
son found an account, but then they back and forth
on some things that changed, so they thought about if
that was the will final dot Sotha was one of
the ones too, right, and so you have you know, that's.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
The estate planning you have, you know, prenuptial agreements. Uh
you know, you see what happened with Jeff Bezos. Uh,
you know, you see what happened with with you know
some of these some of these folks who Travis Hunter
we talked about. I don't know if he has a
pre nupt maybe they signed something secretly. But if things
don't work out, uh, you know, you know, how how

(01:15:22):
how it's going to end up right, And so that's
planning a prenuptial agreement. And so and if you have
a partner that is opposed to planning right or even
protecting yourself and protecting you know, your assets, well you
you know, you have to get some really serious thought about,
you know, whether or not in the long term this
this partner is going to be right for you. You know,

(01:15:43):
that's that's your decision. It's not mine, you know. And
so those are things that you know, you think about
when you're thinking about planning. And then finally I would
just say, you know, because many of us are quick
to pro create prior to marriage, right, so you'll make

(01:16:06):
a that's that is a lifelong commitment that you've mated.
I mean, it is probably a more serious commitment than marriage,
being honest with you, right, at least a financial commitment maybe.
And so planning thought about, you know, really serious thought
about if this person is is you know, going to

(01:16:26):
be a great parent to my child. That's the other
part is you know what happens when they are parenting
the child and you are away. Do you trust this
person right as a as a father? Do you trust
this person as a mother? Do you trust your in laws, like,
that's all that kind of stuff. It goes into planning
and forethought. So I would just say, you know, my

(01:16:48):
big my takeaway, big takeaway would be planed, plan, plan
for all the things that we mentioned and even some
of the things that we've implied.

Speaker 4 (01:16:57):
And I like how you said too, because we talked
about minor kids, but it's even the adult kids. There
was a situation that recently happened a pretty sure plenty
of them did, but that just came to light with
a young girl with the college right, no longer a minor,
but the parent is still taking care of her and

(01:17:17):
didn't have a healthcare directive. So it was like, no,
I don't know if you can make that decision. There's
nothing that we have that says you make that decision right.
So it can get very scary when we don't plan
and we only know what the plan based on our awareness.
So now we're becoming more aware, so we need to
plan and think about those things. Healthcare directives.

Speaker 3 (01:17:39):
Again.

Speaker 4 (01:17:40):
Family, if you have family in any capacity and that
can mean marriage or not marriage, you're creating family, and
you have business, athlete, you're creative, or you just have
you have a job because life.

Speaker 3 (01:17:55):
Right, we're thinking about life.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
So all of it is power of attorney. You mentioned entrepreneurs,
business owners. You know what happens if you're laid up
in the hospital. What happens to your business? Yes? And
the person making all these business decisions for you? Yes,
you know you or you know having a succession plan.
You know you're the CEO of the company. What happens
when you go down? Dude? Does the business like, does
it go under? You know, does someone take the reins?

(01:18:20):
All that stuff is important.

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
That is beautiful. I thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (01:18:25):
You've all seen the website already, but you know what,
there's some who are actually listening.

Speaker 3 (01:18:34):
Via podcast later, so I can't just show things.

Speaker 4 (01:18:38):
I think you said the book right, but we're going
to go back, so read your website and I put
both books back up, but just kind of read the books.

Speaker 3 (01:18:46):
So those who are just audio, you didn't forget about you.

Speaker 2 (01:18:49):
Also, your website is www dot Shakhan s h A
k h A n A N. D. Kerson w I
L K E R s O N Law dot com.
So it Shakananwilkerson Law dot com. That's the website. And
then the books are Divorce. Well, that's the Child Custody Divorce,

(01:19:14):
Death by a Thousand Cuts, what to expect and what
to protect, and that is available if you go to
our i G you can get an ebook form or
you can go to Amazon and you can get a
Heart Heartback. The other book is a child custody book,
Child Preparing for the Child Custody War Right, and that
is also available on Amazon and is available in ebook,

(01:19:36):
and then you can also we have a third book
that's coming out that we have written with a psychologist
and that should hopefully be out in the next few months,
and it's gonna it's gonna cover parental alienation, some of
the emotional side of what happens, you know, when you
go through this process, which we don't cover. We talk

(01:19:58):
a lot more about, you know, the legal stuff, but
there is an emotional fallout that a lot of our
clients or even you know, just folks like myself going
through a pro se that unless you've probably read about
it or experienced it, you are just probably unprepared for.
So look out for that and if you are on

(01:20:20):
our IG. We also have a podcast. I think we
have an episode probably coming out this weekend, and so
the podcast is called no Sleep in the City. So
myself and Chelsea Wilkerson will be on and if we
look forward to hopefully maybe answering some questions and maybe

(01:20:42):
getting you on there as well as one of our.

Speaker 3 (01:20:44):
I'm here for you. You already know it. You already
know it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:46):
And yes, please shout again out to Chelsea because she's
not on here right now, but amazing, powerful woman and
just even that partnership, the synergy and the dynamic energy
that they bring together is absolutely amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
So yes, shout out to her.

Speaker 2 (01:21:03):
Shut out Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (01:21:08):
All right then?

Speaker 4 (01:21:09):
That is all I was reading with Deborah bro Here
say she heard about a mom and daughter who made
each other their respective beneficiary.

Speaker 3 (01:21:17):
Both died in a tragic accident without a state plan.

Speaker 4 (01:21:20):
The ex husband, the dad of the adult child, got
the inherent So everything is about what we plan for,
or should I say what we don't plan for.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
Don't plan for as well, don't plan for as well,
don't plan for it. That third part of the State
of Georgia has a plan for you.

Speaker 4 (01:21:41):
You're saying everything I said before. No matter what you
do or don't do, it's already something done. It's you're
deciding if you're going to come out of that control,
out of those guardrails. So even if you don't do
a contract with partners and all that, there's already partner statue.
If you don't do operating agreement for LC's already same
thing here. So if you don't do the things you
need to do with your family, George is already waiting

(01:22:03):
to say, I guess you want me to tell you
what to do.

Speaker 3 (01:22:06):
You don't know if you can get them on a.

Speaker 4 (01:22:08):
Good day, bad day, if they frustrated, or but you
don't want anyone else telling you.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
And you will pay the State of Georgia if they
make a decisions for you. So if you in probate court,
for example, you're gonna pay somebody. So do you know
you might want to make the plan before Georgia has
to make it for you.

Speaker 3 (01:22:26):
I love it all right, y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:22:27):
That is a wrap for today's a segment of the
Seek Elevation Experience. I hope you all heard loud and
clear that success isn't just about what you build, it's
about what you actually protect. And you heard in the
conversation for Guingas today reminding us to plan, plan, plan, prepare, preare, prepare,
and that love, money, legacy, all the things, they're all

(01:22:52):
deeply connected. We can't keep these things in silos. We're
gonna be a complete person. We're gonna start thinking completely
because when life gets real, when it gets real, because
it is real when they say life, be lifing. Your peace,
your business, and your future, all of it deserves protection,

(01:23:14):
not just passion. We keep talking about this word passion,
but your passion deserves protection. So thank you so much
for tuning in. I appreciate you all for engaging those
who are going to listen later.

Speaker 3 (01:23:25):
Ooh, buckle up. So this has been a powerful conversation.
Remember the more you know.

Speaker 4 (01:23:32):
Though, the more you grow, the more you learn, the
more you earn. But when you share, you show that
you care about all of us growing, learning and earning.
So please share this segment via video via podcast Connect Connect.
You got the information, so connect with the Genghists and

(01:23:53):
his partner as well, and again, don't keep the knowledge
to yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:23:57):
Peace and progress.