Building Impact: How to Make a Big Impact With Social Currency.

We’re breaking down how to build real impact through Social Currency—the kind that opens doors, sustains movements, and multiplies legacy. Who’s in your circle? What are you exchanging? Influence, access, trust, and connection are currency. If you’re not leveraging them with intention, you’re leaving equity on the table. Stephannie Kirby, a social currency advocate, is bringing an ELLAvating perspective and direction to the stage on this topic

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh there was a time people counting me out.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Put their mocking me.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
I'm move inside out. I got to know to know
what that says.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
But what I believe that God's my bad.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
I don't need you to bother me. I know who
I help. I'm created and me and I'm better reflect
what my eyes there to see, all the.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Bigness, cyphosis and the persibility.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Even know.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
What I see, bay Shue, should I get me? There
is no time really stand for the outside doll and

(01:22):
better window, bad.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Boys.

Speaker 4 (01:26):
The list still is a pay de VISs of castay.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
All these simple modad bye something not take your mind
for you'll buy your preso. Think you on balling this
play head clean of die all we.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Then gets nine Next.

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Week shine, Welcome, Welcome.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
To the Seek Elevation experience.

Speaker 6 (02:08):
Another Tuesday, another time to elevate with your truly attorney Alakeisha.
This is where real issues, real people, real conversations takes
in a stage. Because change doesn't happen in silence. And
this is a perfect topic today for how I always
intro or change doesn't happen in silence because you can't.

(02:28):
You need that social not silence, and let change happen there.
There's time and place for silence, but it doesn't happen
there all the time. We have to come together and
that's what we're going to talk about today. We're talking
about social currency as our wealth. That is what we're
talking about. I'm excited to talk about it. Building impact.

(02:49):
How to make a big impact with social currency. And
one of the things we have to ask ourselves is
what does social currency mean and how can we truly
cash in on it. That's why I bought our special
guests today so we can just talk about that.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
See where we go with that question.

Speaker 6 (03:15):
So if you're in sports, if you are entertainment, and
you are in business, or just in the community, ready
to elevate. This is the time, This is the place
and time to do it. We elevate voices that need
to be heard. But here on seek elevation. We don't
just talk. We have enough places to go if we

(03:35):
want to just hear talk. Here we inspire, we empower,
we challenge the status quo, but more importantly, we connect.
We highly encourage you to engage, ask questions, share your experiences,
chime in. More importantly, connect, I find guests, identify guests,

(03:55):
those that I know, those that just resonate with me
very type person, those that resonate and that are aligned
to that I feel to help move this mission of
us elevating.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
So do not sleep on the people that I bring here.

Speaker 6 (04:11):
There is a reason they are here, So definitely make
sure that you absolutely connect.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
So let's go ahead.

Speaker 6 (04:18):
I wanted to get into it and then I'll introduce
our guests. But I want us to just think about
right now. Right So, in a world just just full
of noise, if we're really talking about truly out of elevating,
and we have a lot of things going on, we
hear a lot of different type of talks. But if
we're really truly talking about elevation, it's going to come

(04:41):
through those relationships that's built on depth, not just deals,
but built on depth. And that's what I always say,
Like even in my practice, what I do in my practice,
am I speaking whatever it is that I do. I
look at the depth of those relationships that come out
of what I do, not just deals. So it's not

(05:04):
just about social connection, not just about what can I
get out of it right just about capitalism, It's about alignment.
It's the currency that creates impact that outlives any type
of movements that we're talking about because it helps us
to multiply over time. And we use that word a lot.

(05:26):
I don't know twenty twenty five. Either I'm paying more
attention or I just hear a lot more cliches. And
there's a lot of words that have been watered down
in this share of twenty twenty five, and movement is
one of those words, I believe. So if we're gonna
talk about anything being a movement and not just a moment,

(05:47):
and we wanted to multiply over times, then we're talking
about social currency. So in this episode, in this segment,
I want us to dive into what it takes to
build intentional relationships that carry weight, not just for cloud
the industries. I'm in a lot of people name drop,
that's what we call it. We got so many people
that connect to just try to name drop, but there's nothing,

(06:11):
there's nothing of substance there. So we're not talking about cloud.
We're talking about contribution and literally really building. So we'll
explore that and we'll have you know, our guests share
from her perspective and who was her Stephanie Kirby. I

(06:32):
am so excited to bring her on. She's the CEO
and founder of Black Wealth Culture. She's a true advocate
for social currency, someone that I met on LinkedIn and
the very first thing conversation was literally about you know
what is your I'm taking a survey and on a
perspective of from the perspective excuse me of black woman,

(06:54):
what can we do differently? How what are we looking
for when we talk about I mean, just felt the
passion And let me tell you, I'm someone that is
quick and this may be you too. I am someone
quick to ignore people on LinkedIn because it turned into a.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Solicitation type and people.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
Say all types of things, but I know when I'm
skimming through stuff, I feel the energy and this was
like a stop. And she held an event called the
Currency of Social Capital and I attended that event and
it was a great conversation.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Things that were asked.

Speaker 6 (07:31):
It was also a flow for us to share and
again it wasn't one of those situations where it was
just conversation, at least not for me. Made three connections
from there, ended up having a phone call and had
a great conversation with the one of the other attendees
and actually was the host and we'll co host and
we'll you know, do some things together. And actually when

(07:51):
she made the call, she asked me what can I
do for you? Then wasn't even asking you know, you know,
we live in a world of a lot of people
that are fake, but you can tell them people are genuine.
And when you tell them, you find them, you know them,
make them your social currency. Stephanie says success in the

(08:12):
coming year isn't just about big plans. It's about having
the right support to turn those plans into reality. Affordable,
dedicated help isn't a luxury. It is the bridge that
helps entrepreneurs go from vision to victory. And I would

(08:34):
like to add to that, it is the bridge that
helps and then you fill in the blank, go from
vision to victory. So, without further ado, I am going
to bring Stephanie on the stage. Hello, Stephanie, how are you?

Speaker 4 (08:51):
I'm wonderful. Can you hear me?

Speaker 2 (08:53):
I hear you nice and clear? Can you hear me?

Speaker 4 (08:55):
Yes? I can?

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Okay, how have you been today?

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Actually wonderful. It was raining, but it was still wonderful.
Just to even hear the sound. It's rainy, yeah, Charlotte, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (09:07):
Well, here in Atlanta and surrounding cities. I don't know
what's going on.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
I think this is across the board, this is everywhere.
This is not just us here. We are off.

Speaker 6 (09:20):
For so many reasons. But we've had not just rain.
We've had rain storms, that strong wind that is with it.
And the other day, two days ago, I'm lying in
the bed and I feel the bed shake. Wow, And

(09:44):
I'm like, I didn't really think none of it.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (09:46):
Sometime I felt like a house shake when a truck
hit the you know, big heavy truck hitting the roll.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
So I don't I just guess I was just thinking that.
But I was tired.

Speaker 6 (09:55):
I just took that shit shake and it was okay.
Come to find out, we have had the residual of
an earthquake.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
I did not know that.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
I mean I didn't feel anything here, so even if
that did happen, I wouldn't even notice it.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Oh we noticed, And I was like, okay, well that's
let me know.

Speaker 6 (10:12):
We can we're getting to the point where we can't
say this would never happen here. Such and such would
never happen here. I mean, we've been along that line,
cause remember when Georgia had a huge flood. We never
said it would happen like New Orleans, and it was huge.
It wasn't to that capacity, but it was things when
underwater was crazy.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
So it is what it is.

Speaker 6 (10:32):
But let's get into it. We're talking about social currency.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
Well, can I say first thank you for the introduction. Yes,
even just what you were stating about social capital, I
was like, I don't know if I'm gonna have anymore
to say. Anyways, you put it right on points. So,
but thank you so much for the invite and even
also even following through, I just wanted to make sure

(11:03):
I say that out loud.

Speaker 6 (11:05):
You are so welcome. I thank you so much for that.
I thank you for pausing me to be able to
give that share. I appreciate you. Yes, I mean because
that's why I know when I immediately connected with you,
we already were on the same page because I wholeheartedly,
wholeheartedly agree with you and align to that. I was

(11:29):
just speaking to somebody a while ago when we talk
about self made, like we hear this word as self
made billionaire to self and yes, you have to understand self.
So in that sense, you have to understand self, and
you you make self be centered but those of us

(11:49):
who continue to elevate.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
It's not self. I must connect.

Speaker 6 (11:57):
And so when you think about that, how do you define, like,
what does social capital mean to you? Social currency? How
do you measure that thing in your life in general
and in your career? How does that align with it?

Speaker 4 (12:15):
And I like to pause so you'll see me do
the pausing because I like to think before I speak.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
I love that you speak while you're doing positive talk.
Now you see what I mean?

Speaker 6 (12:24):
Would align? That means it's intentional. That is so intentional
when you're allowing whatever it is to drop pass through.
You see, don't get me deep, don't get me gone.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
I would say for me social capital. If I can
step back a little bit, because the definition for me
only developed as I was developing myself and realizing that
when I want to achieve certain things, I still needed someone.
And I noticed that I would only define that someone
as if it's like a family member or a friend,

(12:57):
if they help me get somewhere. But I never really
defined it as maybe even that clerk in the store
where I couldn't find something and they helped me. And
I started looking at relationships from a minute sense, and
then this large sense like wow, like we are all
in this energy, right, we have this energy going on

(13:19):
around us. So even when you spoke of self, there
is a there's moments right where we have to resent
to ourselves to understand who we are when we are
bringing it to the world, but then also understanding interacting
with the world and how do we do that. And
so social capital me I started defining kind of listening

(13:39):
to myself how I interacted with individuals. There came a
point where I didn't want to call people up, you know.
I was like, they should call me, I'm doing great,
And we all tend to have that ego moment, right,
like someone's going to show up at our door and
tell us that, you know, we're doing great and we
really need to get out there. So I found the

(14:01):
definition for me, it's as I got I'm matured or mastered,
as I'm still mastering. Social capital is that when someone
can speak my name in the room and it's a
value when I'm not there. I learned that and that's
built off of me building value with that person, right,

(14:22):
bringing integrity to that individual. It's not oh, I just
know Stephanie. I know maybe what she does give her
a call. But these people are really intentionally going, I
know someone that can really probably help you, really support
you because they understand my value as well. So social
capital me, I guess, is that definition that someone could

(14:43):
really speak about me without me being there in that intention,
with that serious value that they have behind me and
the support that they believe in me, because they probably
say she believes in me as well. And that's the
return of the capital part. Right, it has to be
worth something.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Sorry, you're fine, and I love that you mentioned that.

Speaker 6 (15:13):
Right, you end up carrying with that because it's that
reciprocation you are already feeling like, right, there is this investment,
this gain. It's not just about knowing someone, it's about
this currency investment. And like some people say, because we
always say you know, who do you know?

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Who do you know?

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Who do you know?

Speaker 6 (15:33):
But those who understand, I believe social capital is who
knows you. You can surpass that general with people network
And that's why some people really hate that word because
we got so used to just network. Mean, get around
a bunch of people, pass your cards out, grab some
cards or qr CO cards, go home, go through things.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
What can someone do for me? What can someone do
for me.

Speaker 6 (16:00):
No, but it's who knows you? So what is that
net worth versus that network? How are you going in
those rooms? And even being intentional? So when I go
to certain events, it's not about me trying to move
the room like some people encourage move the entire room.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
It's about me trying to fill the room.

Speaker 6 (16:17):
And then I'm intentional about who I want to connect
with and move in that room. Because it goes to
the same saying all money is not good money, right,
it's talking about social currency with people. All people ain't
good people. So it's about you know, feeling that. So
when you have that moment of so let's kind of
walk through your journey. You got this, Aha, this is.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
What it means to you? How did you start moving
differently with that?

Speaker 4 (16:47):
I think a couple of things happened for me, if
I can sort of go back and memory lane here,
I think it was a loss of a network, right,
loss of friendships because of perhaps my behavior, And sometimes

(17:09):
when that happens to us, we don't realize or hold
our own selves accountable to go how did I treat
that person or how did I show up for that person?
But I have always been the type of person to learn,
so you know, anyone that's watching, if that's the type
of person you are, then you would see your growth
right because you're going to start to grow. So people

(17:29):
have a choice to not be you know, your friend,
and they have a choice to say, are you showing
up for me? Are you the energy I want around me?
And you at times will be that person that they
say no, And it could be because of how your
behavior is. And I think that's what happened part of
for me, what happened to me. Obviously I was much

(17:50):
younger during the time. A lot of it is a
during my youth. And repeat the question, because I was
going to start to.

Speaker 6 (18:00):
Go off to the other when you've seen that change,
like when you seen it starting in your journey of
mastery of understanding this is really what social capital means.
This is what it means is it's about who knows
me and is speaking my name in rooms. It's not
just about we just know each other. But once you
start understanding what social capital meant to you, where did

(18:23):
you what did you start doing with that? When did
you see a shift of how to apply that in
your life and your career to make sure that when
someone knows you, they are speaking your names in those rooms.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
Well, I've always been in my career has always been
based on relationships, meaning I'm actually building like accelerators or
I'm building programs. So obviously I'm building four individuals to learn.
So I had to really definitely understand relationships. But I
will say it was when so I used to work
in the music industry. So when I was an intern
at deaf Jam, I got a whift of kind of

(18:57):
how to show up most of the terns and this
this is what my you know, boss at the time
was telling me. There was a couple of us interns
there and but I was answering the phones properly. You
know when people call, I'm like, hello, how are you?
You know, I have this proper voice, And even though
it's so small, they kept me on and took all
the interns off in that at least in that department

(19:19):
that I was in at the time, because he said,
you knew how you know how to talk to people,
you knew how to answer the phone and help individuals
and so little things like that. As you're going through life,
you know, you start to go, oh, let me jot
that down. That worked, and then I just think I
always also been blessed. I have a lot of female friends,

(19:42):
so a lot of them. If we were remember our
conversation we were talking about stereotypes. Uh, that was not
as difficult for me because I was very blessed to
have a sisterhood. Along the way, I met a lot
of women that have helped me. So yeah, I would.
I would say, it's just I'm mastering and still, like

(20:03):
I said, I'm still mastering it, right, I'm still learning
because your relationships is constantly changing because of how you know,
the world is always constantly changing, So how we interact
with each other is changing. Go ahead, oh, go ahead.

Speaker 6 (20:16):
No, So it's not how we're showing up privately, it's
how we're showing up in front of people. Right, that's
what you're saying, because you were doing something that stood
out to people that was around you, and it sounds
like you're just doing it because that's you, Like, that's
that's how you know.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, necessarily to catch the.

Speaker 6 (20:32):
Attention of anyone, but you just did it, but it
stood out and that that was an investment in your
social capital.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Now people knew you and knew we want you, and
they speak about you that way? Is that what you
were saying?

Speaker 4 (20:45):
Yes? And also even behind closed doors, I'm constantly noticing
my own self though, so like I I know how
I want to show up for people, and I, you know,
I notice things how I behave, and if I don't
like it, I kind of try to, you know, change
and mold myself into the person I am. So there's

(21:05):
two things actually probably going on. Right. You still have
yourself and you're still looking at yourself and how you
want to be presented and seen and you want people
to know you. And then there's how you're interacting with
people and how they're responding with that self. And I
feel like a lot of things intertwine in that building part.
So you're constantly going through life and you're still refining yourself,

(21:29):
and you have to make those kind of decisions so
that when someone when you are building your social capital,
you're attracting the right kind of people you want to
because your energy will definitely attract those kind of people
that you may not want as well, So you have
to be able to align yourself if it does that make.

Speaker 6 (21:47):
That makes absolute sense because I was going to ask
you just for clarity, because you said you was answering
the phone the proper way. Is that way meaning because
I kind of I think I heard you explaining it
the way you're taking care of the person or the
other end, or do you mean proper by how you're speaking,
And if it's the second I asked, to the point
you just made how you hold yourself, you'll attract those

(22:10):
people you want. And a lot of times what we
do too, right, especially in a black community, we do
a lot of cold switching.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
We'll make sure.

Speaker 6 (22:18):
People make sure that you know a certain way because
of those things. I want people to see me whatever
how I want to show up this way here. So
there's there's cold switching there. So when you mentioned because
like you said, you work for a label, when you
answered proper way, was that a code switching or was
that I answered in a way where they look that
you know how to.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Provide the customer service that we want versus somebody not.

Speaker 4 (22:46):
Good question? So, MANI wasn't code switching. It was actually
so I was at so jaf jam is hip hop music?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Right?

Speaker 4 (22:54):
So right, I mean people that are falling in you know,
it's a very different kind of if you want to
say colders there's no coach, which is black folks calling
each other the way I showed up for myself how
I talked. So have I been in rooms where they're like,
oh you talk white, or oh you talk this way,
and it's like, no, that's just me, right, I'm I

(23:16):
want to speak clearly to the person to make sure
they understand. So I never actually really had to coach switch.
I think I was just always question of how I
talk because they didn't think that that's how I naturally talked. Now, granted,
can we get comfortable in our conversation, yes, and with
my friends and my family, and do you have a

(23:38):
professional kind of way of speaking? But to be honest,
this is naturally how I speak. So I'm not as
much code switch. And unless I'm kind of playing around.

Speaker 6 (23:50):
Now, you sound regular down because I don't know IF's
how I was speaking up exact, sound regular, there's no
white or there's nothing to it is right, sounds good?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
You sound good? But okay, so.

Speaker 6 (24:05):
Other people got ignored. They wanted doing things right. How
do you think people who are I believe we're both
introvert and extravote.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
I believe all humans have both qualities.

Speaker 6 (24:18):
Some have more of a dominant one than the other,
or sometimes one shows up depending on the place. Like
there's some rooms I'm more inquisitive I look around, I'm not,
But then there's some rooms where I feel comfortable.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
I am.

Speaker 6 (24:33):
But how about those who have the dominant introvert? How
are they building social capital?

Speaker 4 (24:38):
I mean that's a very good question because.

Speaker 6 (24:42):
I was thinking about that even when you said with
the cause, I mean, some of them may don't know
how to do certain things, and now you just lost
that whole social currency based on X y Z.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
But its just in general, what do you what do
you think about that?

Speaker 4 (24:57):
So I can give my opinion on.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
It, but.

Speaker 6 (25:00):
Because it's not me, like I'm even like if I
want a stream extrovert, Yeah, but have you Okay, so
let's flip it, let's think about the other ways. So
have getting opinion on have you and your your energy
in your way interacted with someone I feel more of
a seem more of an introvert to you and you

(25:21):
kind of.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Didn't want to move forward with that social.

Speaker 6 (25:26):
Capital currency or connection because they may have been an introvert,
Like does that affect you interacting?

Speaker 4 (25:34):
Are they like they're too shy to kind of talk
to you.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, like you may feel like I don't.

Speaker 6 (25:38):
I don't know, because maybe they need two times three times,
Maybe they just need you to lead more. But you
may walk away be like, yeah, I was just leading
that conversation a little bit too much. I don't see
how we going to offer anything together.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Like how do they deal? You can't answer how do
they deal with it? But how do you? How have
you respond to react it? Or think?

Speaker 6 (25:58):
In your opinion, they should move about in that way
when building social currency.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Because we want them.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
To be.

Speaker 4 (26:10):
I mean, everything's gonna have to be of comfort, right,
Like I said, I have a different comfort of how
I'm going to interact with someone. And if I can
kind of read the room, you know, and that energy
and say, you know, maybe they're not comfortable right now
having that conversation, I don't know how that person would
interact because they're the ones that have to build that
confidence within themselves in order to build their social capital.

(26:35):
I mean, some people are really comfortable saying I got
five friends, I am doing well and you know that's it.
And then there's others like I need more connections in
so many different places, and so I'm going to get
out there and I'm going to take the initiative and
follow up and follow through. I really think it's based
on comfort and when you're ready. H that that's my thing,

(26:56):
because I'm not going to say that I was always hey,
you know, jumping people's faces. There's times where I was
very nervous to even talk to someone. You know. It's
just I think it's just the growth in the journey.
And I think a person just needs to still put
themselves in an uncomfortable position in order to be able
to find that out right, because that's that's how we
get out of our shell. We do have to still

(27:18):
be uncomfortable, like I. So although I'm a go getter,
I actually don't do these kind of interviews, right, I
don't come on. I'm mostly like creating systems in a background,
so under my nerd effect, and I love it. But
I still need to get out and have conversations with people,
and so I put myself in those spaces. So I

(27:38):
guess I can only share what I do when I'm
in that kind of feeling, that space. But being kind
of maybe an introvert at that moment is putting myself
in an uncomfortable position to try not.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Like how you said too, that you still read the room.

Speaker 6 (27:55):
That's a that's a good one, read wrong, because that's
something I do right because I know there is extroverts
and introverts. Because I deal what I do means I
deal with tons of people, countless people. I know there's
different types, and so I know that I read the
room on individuals and there's certain things I may you know,

(28:16):
lead on or things I say or give or pick
up on that one or two three things that they
share and start to see how they move with that.
So you can read the room where someone's just like
any feeling it versus I was an introvert, but you
massage this situation.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
And they became a little more extrovert with you.

Speaker 6 (28:33):
So for me, I definitely pay attention to reading the
room knowing that we all come in different ways and
not just shut off those introverts.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
So that's how I look at it.

Speaker 6 (28:46):
And for me, then I would say to those who
are introvert, and just saying that then is to know
that you know, because I don't know, Like you said,
some people are happy with justified friends or this. But
as we're talking about it, we're talking about building that
social capital just like you wouldn't be I mean there's
some people who satisfied with just the basic that they make.
But if we're talking about movements and doing things, we

(29:07):
know money funds the mission. So it's the same thing
were talking about social capital. You may be good with
five friends, You probably don't have to make no more friends,
as the song says, but you do build that capital
around you in order for you to do the things
you need to do and for you to do the
things that others may need you to do as well.
So for the introverts, yeah, think about that as you're
in rooms, continue to just fill rooms, read rooms, and

(29:30):
also read.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
How people may be reading you.

Speaker 6 (29:32):
Who's trying to build that social capital, right, So for interverts,
you don't have to jump out, but read the room
just as much as somebody else who's reading the room,
because that could be that big investment.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Right there. So speaking about.

Speaker 6 (29:49):
Intentional relationship building, like what is your approach to just
staying authentic?

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Right?

Speaker 2 (29:56):
This world we are obsessed with, Like I.

Speaker 6 (29:59):
Said, that's one of the those words that networking versus
some people just literally try to get to know you
for how they can gain right, right, So what is
your approach of staying authentic in a world which is
just obsessed with networking for gain?

Speaker 2 (30:18):
How do you navigate that?

Speaker 4 (30:21):
So I have different ways for that too. Actually, I'll
start with what I came like my thought when I
look at LinkedIn as a connection. Okay, I didn't want
to be just a connection on LinkedIn. I don't want
to be a number. And I say this to anyone
that I even actually meet on LinkedIn. We have our
virtual conversation. I mean very true to that. I want

(30:44):
to know the different individuals that are in You know
that I'm connected to one. It's a professional platform, and
I'm like, if somebody asked me, do you know someone
because you're connected, I'm like, I don't know that person.
I've never even talked to them. So I reach out
to them intentionally to learn about their journey. What is
it that you actually do? What is your professional background?

(31:07):
I do not oversell. If somebody ask me about what
I do, I'm happy to share. I guess I go
in with a and it might be because one of
my mentors, so mean, you know, if I do good work.
Either way, someone's gonna want to hire me. They want
to learn what I do. I don't really oversell. I
had to. I had to learn that again. I'm just

(31:29):
going into learning about the individual. I want to know
what they're doing, and sometimes I do ask about their
bottlenecks and then I go, well, you know, sometimes I
share with how I probably could support, but I also
end with how can I support even if if I don't,
If you know you don't hire me, how can I
also support in ways where I'm able to? Right, I
don't over promise either. So when I'm building intentional relationships,

(31:53):
it's one Usually it's the path that I'm on. Right.
So if I'm looking to build more relations and ships
with black women, black women that own business, so I'm
obviously being intentional in finding those women, but I'm not
there to make a sale. I'm there to build the
friendship because the relationship. I have clients come to me

(32:14):
years later after building relationships, and it's been my biggest accounts.
So I think it's just one of the person's journey.
And when you are being intentional, and if you want
to be authentic, is really make sure that you're getting
to know the person that you want to get to
know and not just trying to sell them what you have.
Some people will just go, well, this is what I

(32:35):
do for you. I can do for you, so give
me a call. And it's like, but you don't know
nothing about me, and we all get that. On LinkedIn,
you could see that, like people will go, hey, I
see that you do this kind of business and I
got hr background, and I'm like, I don't even know
you at all. You definitely don't mean because I'm I
would have told you. I'm not looking for that right now,
right I don't know what a person's doing. And there's

(32:57):
another thing I learned, as in building this authentic relationship,
even on LinkedIn, I just really thank people for connecting
with me, Like just thank you for even saying yeah,
I'll connect with you. And I start there, right, Hey,
I want to get on a virtual chat. I want
to learn about you. You know. If some people go no,

(33:17):
I don't want to that's okay. I'm not you know,
going hardcore on it. I'm really actually building friendships as
if I was in school again, all right, going hey,
I want to be a friend. Not everyone's going to
be a person that you should be connecting with. And
that's just part of the learning process for yourself. You
know when you are building these kind of authentic relationships.

Speaker 6 (33:40):
No, I agree with you, and I'd like to add
for me, part of staying authentic is in my candidacy.
I am a candid person. I have no I don't
know it's gonna get older or what I've always been,
but it's even more so. So I stay authentic in
asking you that thing. Yeah, that why, especially if you
come at me the way you said, like the world

(34:01):
at least for you, they'll say, I see you did
X y Z, and I do such and such. I've
had some people just come in and I ask them myself,
and then I've asked them, have you even read my page? Right?

Speaker 2 (34:12):
That's not do I need that? Did you? And you
called me something else? Or you say I see you?
What do you see me? Do that?

Speaker 6 (34:20):
That's not even on my page? So I know you're
not even trying to get to know me because you
just automatically doing whatever. But my authenticity comes in candency,
Like you know, be authentic and if I'm seeing something
one way, I'm gonna call it like it is and
see if what I think I'm seeing is what it is.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
But then to your point, if.

Speaker 6 (34:42):
People approach more about I want to hear about you,
and they don't understand that is the key to it. Yes,
there is something right, even if it's something that you
want from someone you don't even know that. Get to
know them, ask them questions, get to hear their journey
to even see instead of just pouring in, I can
do this for you. So it actually works the opposite

(35:04):
way to get to know people. But again, I read
the room, I can feel when I read a big time,
I read energy I can feel, and I get very
candid about it, so I stay authentic in it.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
I think I shave that off that way. Yeah, so
I love that.

Speaker 6 (35:22):
But can you share a time where you feel like,
because of how you you work with people, you're always
building people.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
You're always building people.

Speaker 6 (35:30):
Is there a time when your reputation or your consistency
and easy relationships paid off more than any resume that
you can put in front of anybody.

Speaker 4 (35:39):
I mean, most of it comes. Most of my clients
come from referrals.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
So that's what to say, and I wanted to. I
don't want to catch up with saying that.

Speaker 6 (35:45):
When I say resume right, because you own your own thing,
resume just means before I have to really sell myself.
That's because that's what a resume is in a world
of working. But the consistency in your relationship paid off
before you had to sell yourself. To your point, what
you just said, as I wanted to hear that was
the case where people selling you like you don't have
to do anything. It's like the reputation and consistency, it's

(36:08):
preceding it. And so you said, Okay, I didn't mean
to cut you off, because when you have said that,
clarify that.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
So, but I will say that it's there was two
sides to that, right. So it's the referrals what I'm
giving to the individuals, and then they refer me to others.
A majority of everyone that has worked with us and
work with me is based on referrals. But I'll also
say it's the women that I met that were giving
me referrals also understood social capital, they understood sisterhood as well.

(36:39):
So I'm not sure if it was also because I
was putting myself around certain people, right. You know, when
I apply for certain positions, even at a younger age,
I was focused on where I want to be. You know,
I started my first business when I was fourteen in Springfild, Massachusetts,
so I was very young, already in the midst of

(36:59):
what I wanted to do, and I was managing my peers,
so I was already kind of already learning how to
interact with people. That the trial and errors as I
was going along. So I kind of knew at a
young age to put myself around at least the space
I want to be in, and at the time that
was music industry, and then I went off to more
nonprofit and now I'm just more in the entrepreneurial space.

(37:23):
So I think it's also just an understanding your path,
because on your path, you're going to say, these are
the type of individuals I want to meet. And then
it's those referrals that got me through a lot. To
be honest, you know, I don't have my master's degree,
but I have been doing work that is on master
degree level.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Right. Yes, talk about.

Speaker 6 (37:50):
There's there's there's the there's the paper work, and there's
the work that get that paper and that experiential is
that work, right, And that's one thing I did learn
even just going through the education system and be able
to go through all levels. I was always sitting here
every level saying, I notice, and you just you have
a different terminology for this.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
You package it with a bow, right.

Speaker 6 (38:13):
But this has lived and executed here and actually the
packages and the bowls that you all put it on,
it's that one size, whereas out here it's a.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
Jack in a box. No't know what's gonna pop up.

Speaker 6 (38:26):
And that's why a lot of people, when they just
focus on that paper, make it stuck because they don't
have that real life experience and to be able to
experience that jargon and say what I already knew that
been there, done it, and I got extra stuff to
put in there so that you have a Doctrin's in it.
You out here doing it, you're advocating, you have your

(38:46):
doctor in it. And I want to just go back
and add, like you said when I asked about reputation
and consistency, and how has that, you know, paid off
in the relationships that outdo any type of resume. May
I also add for me, at least, not even just
my consistency and my reputation and the service I'm given

(39:08):
from someone to refer, but my consistency and reputation, how
I show up constantly delivering the same thing and I
think a lot of us miss that we build our
social currency. People are always watching and you never know
who's watching. You don't you don't do it for them.
But if you real about you put out there constantly

(39:29):
what you love, how you love doing it, build that
consistency because it's building your reputation and it's building you
social capital that you don't even know about.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
And people are referring.

Speaker 6 (39:42):
I get that a lot period from people I never
even provided something to said, oh I'm reaching out because
such and such preferred you have educated them on whatever
the platform is. I'm like, okay, let's go. So that reputation, consistency,
touching hands and just how you absolutely show up. I

(40:03):
think they brought from me more than any any of
the letters resumes, letters beyond my name of resumes.

Speaker 4 (40:11):
I mean, you also have to be prepared for the coming, right,
So always you're preparing yourself for the next crew of
people that you're going to meet, right, because it's we're
constantly changing, you're constant growing, and so your goals, you know,
once you achieve one, then all of a sudden you're
onto the next one. So my mother always told me

(40:33):
that just you know, prepare for the coming and obviously
we heard that statement before and.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Another current way right right.

Speaker 6 (40:42):
So I like how you said that though, because that
goes back to all saying even if you're consistent in
whatever you're doing, and you're putting it out there no
matter what, you're actually consistent in preparing yourself for what's
actually to come in your evolution as well, you're constantly
doing that. How do you Okay, so you bring these
people in, you're building your social capital. How do you

(41:05):
discern between Okay, this is what I thought it was this,
but now it has became more of a distraction?

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Hm, where do you feel that? Because I'll let you
answer that.

Speaker 4 (41:19):
I mean there's a lot there's gonna be always a
lot of distractions and temptations. Wait off your path, right,
slave you off of it. I mean I just had
to learn again, and I haven't mastered that all the way.
I've noticed that it takes me because I actually enjoy

(41:39):
relationships and I'm very fascinated about just people in general,
because there's so many different perspectives and sometimes I love
getting challenged from my perspective to look at somebody else's
and go, why I didn't know that the broadens, but
some people's perspectives can distract you from your actual goal.
Right you start to you could paer yourself to people

(42:01):
as on your journey, and when you start comparing yourself
to people because they're already there and you're not really
actually understanding their journey itself, I think those are the
distractions I would get and I still get at times,
right if we're just being vulnerable and transparent the same time,
you know, I can look at those that are like

(42:22):
my age and I'm like, they're doing it, like they're
doing it the way I want to do it right,
and that can actually take me off days of what
I want to do. Or if I'm in the room
with those type of people, I can then turn into
the introvert very quickly and like I have nothing to say,
I don't know if I should speak, and you know,

(42:43):
you start to change around individuals. So I'm learning that
I have to make sure my confidence and I'm bold
enough to stand in my own truth and understand that
I understand my value. And sometimes it's very very difficult
for individuals even if we can boldly say yes, you know,
I believe in myself, And then there's days where you

(43:05):
just have people who are just going to challenge you
without them not even knowing they're challenging you. Those are
the distractions I've experienced. Then there's also the distractions just
that you just run into the wrong type of people.
Every industry has those types of people. It doesn't matter
where we go, how I've dealt with it. I'm going

(43:26):
to say, probably they just became learning experiences so that
the next time it shows itself, then I know how
to step back and go that's not where I want
to be. But if I never experienced it, I wouldn't
have been able to say it. So I would probably
say I've been distracted and been off my path because
I didn't know that that's what was happening with me

(43:48):
at that time, and I had to get back on
the path.

Speaker 6 (43:52):
It's funny that you brought that up. So there was
one particular person connected on social media.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
We tend it.

Speaker 6 (44:03):
A big event by someone we know mutually in the
entertainment industry and stuff, and we get to the place
where it's at do all the high time. You know,
she was like, girl doing it, you're doing it. She said,
I hate you, but I love you. I want to
not follow you be making me sick, but then but
then you inspire me. So it was it was joking,
but it was piercing my ears in another way, like, uh,

(44:28):
I don't know. I felt undertone in that thing, especially
from the person that said it, where there's no engagement
at all, So really made me start questioning it's what
I'm doing more for distraction to you than it is
inspiration teaching doing this, but looking at it in a
way where there had to be some like she said, comparison,
you doing it and you'd be making me mad. I

(44:50):
hate you, but I love you. I'll be wanting not
follow you. And could we possibly lose valuable social care
because of something we have to visit in ourselves that's
a distraction or should we just say? My point to
the question, I ask you, how do you decide who's
worth building?

Speaker 2 (45:09):
It doesn't matter?

Speaker 6 (45:10):
Maybe if you know that you know, connecting with that
person still would distract you, regardless of how valuable it
may be. Is it you think for a person to say,
maybe it's not worth building with that person because it
is still going to just be a distraction for me
no matter how valuable I see it. Because when you
said that is it brought me to that and the

(45:32):
person doesn't reach out, doesn't do anything, doesn't even engauge.
But you see, hey, and that's the first thing you
tell me. You know everything that's going on, and you
love me, but you hate me because of that. You're
connected with me, but you don't want to follow me
because of that. What do you think about that?

Speaker 4 (45:46):
I feel like those are kind of red flasts for me. Uh,
there's truth in jokes. Let's just be real, so you
know I felt it joking around. I mean, I don't know.
People show you who they are. It's just up to
you to actually really take you know in is that
really them? And decide is that that goes with you?

(46:08):
I mean it goes with your energy and where you're
traveling on that journey as like using that word, Yeah,
I don't, I don't know. I mean I've I've run
into some interesting people, you know, very interesting. I mean,
there's a lot of interesting people out there. But you

(46:29):
really have to I will say, you have to make
a decision very quickly instead of elongating that decision, meaning
you'll start to see the red flags for you, for
you that might not be that their intention of showing
you that person. But that's how you are relating to
the message that they're giving. Right there, you're receiving it.
So if I'm like, you know, hey girl, you know

(46:50):
and I'm all like, oh girl, you make me sick,
but I love you, I really might just be genuinely
funny and bubbly and just like that, but that might
not resonate with you. That might come off with like, no,
I need someone that's way more confident in the You
don't have to say those things. Were just sitting down
and we enjoying ourselves together and enjoying our accomplishments together.

(47:16):
So yeah, I guess, like I said, I've met some
odd people, and I'm pretty sure I've been an odd
person to someone else right where somebody also had to
say to them to themselves like no, Stephanie's not someone
I want to interact with. So like there's always these
two sides, Like we can have these conversations about who
you should be hanging out with, but you also have
to remember you are going to also be that person, yeah,

(47:37):
well to others so and you won't know why. So
we all can only make that decision within ourselves of
who we want near us and who we want to
be just as associates.

Speaker 6 (47:51):
Maybe someone I agree well for me, so by listening,
don't joke with me like that. I take it depending
the reason why. I think it's a combination of things, right,
I try to feel everything, but to also know that
this person is watching entirely everything and never engage. I
won't even know that you knew some of the things
that you said you knew because you never reach out

(48:12):
and never do anything in the very time that you
have something to say to me.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Aligns with that.

Speaker 6 (48:17):
So for me, to Deborah's point, it's not about quality,
it's about quantity.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
I pay attention to. Worth building for me is the.

Speaker 6 (48:27):
Quality of individuals. Now, I know that there's a certain
number right to expound on the quality of.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
What can happen, But it's not just about getting numbers.
So I'm quick on yeah.

Speaker 6 (48:43):
No, But I'm happy bought that up because that was
part of even your event because you mentioned earlier. I'm
rewind when you were saying that, like a lot of
you know, beautiful black women, you lucky you had that
sisterhood because that was one of the questions you brought
up before, and you asked you know, how has.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
People experience been with Is it a great thing? Is
it this?

Speaker 6 (49:02):
Because you were hearing different things and a lot of
us shared are our different experience. I love to hear
you at least you had that sisterhood and those sisters
that uplift you, and that has been your experience of
that social capital. And I told you before I had some,
but I had a lot that had not been And
I think because the industries I move in, it's already

(49:25):
kind of putting us against each other competitiveness.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
You think only one can survive.

Speaker 6 (49:30):
So we're poor and a lot of social capital when
it comes to certain rooms and certain things. I love
how you said that, but expound a little bit more
on it, like, so, how have your social capital been
with your sister this? Do you feel that's where your
most of your support come from?

Speaker 2 (49:48):
The sisterhood?

Speaker 3 (49:49):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (49:49):
Yeah, I mean, like I said, I was very blessed.
You know, I grew up with a lot of women,
female friends, and I think many of us are about
to go in twenty five years right now. But I
also make sure that I, at least for me, I

(50:11):
make sure that I cultivate those kind of relationships that's
for me. So some of them are not ones that
follow up the way I do. Right, So some of
them I might see them a year from now and
pick up the phone and be like, hey, like we
just talked yesterday. I mean we have still those kind
of relationships, but I will say what really sparked Now?

(50:34):
This is up to date. This is actually our keynote
at our conferences. Coming up is Reverend doctor Jessica Kendall Ingram.
I have never had someone put me in a room
of four hundred people this is her event and have
me stand up to announce myself or introduce me. Everywhere
she went, she always introduced me whenever I'm in her space.

(50:57):
And it's those moments that resonated more with me. Even
in the sisterhood. You know, she's a Delta, so she's
part of a sisterhood, right, you know that has history,
so they have way more.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
That's one of their pillars, Like, that's the pillars.

Speaker 4 (51:14):
So so you know they already know how to do so,
but I'm not. But I got to experience it through
her in a sense of how she shows up for anyone,
especially women. And I'm gonna be honest with you that
I appreciate that and it makes me then turn around
and also make sure that I do that for other
women as well. So for me, my you know, it

(51:37):
probably started off with the fact is that the women
I met first, right, we've we've remained friends, showed up
for each other and in different ways, you know, and
we're all in different industries and different paths, but we
still show up. And then just in my career, my
professional career, I just continued to have this connection, especially

(51:58):
with black women. I'm women that are older than me,
even younger than me. I had a high school student
who she just graduated, she's graduated this year, called me up.
I think it was like last week met her on LinkedIn.
I didn't even know she was a high school student,
but she took the initiative to reach out to me,
and I was just more excited to see what I

(52:19):
can learn from her, right, Like, I love this experience
of interacting with my sisters and especially those that I
can identify with. It helps me a lot more When
I was in rooms where I didn't like identify with
other women, what's that harder for me?

Speaker 6 (52:38):
It was?

Speaker 4 (52:39):
And I didn't understand why, Like, you know, I mean, again,
we all know history. We can all through all that,
but for me individually, I couldn't understand why I couldn't
still identify as just a woman and being able to help.
And so I know it's I just gravitate obviously to
my actual ones that I can identify with, and those

(52:59):
are the ones that's been helping even me as I'm
going through my journey.

Speaker 6 (53:04):
Don't forget you said, I want you to expawn a
little bit. I need a little bit example with that.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
But before we go there, I.

Speaker 6 (53:09):
Want to go back to this point before it slips
my mind because you brought up do you pick up
the phone and call all the time or do that?

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Probably not? We all do it differently.

Speaker 6 (53:18):
And I didn't watch the whole interview yet, but I
seen the snippet of Issa rag going around and one
of the things that she mentioned in the snippet of
an interview she's doing is one of her faults. She
defines as a fault is not being that friend that
called or pick up.

Speaker 2 (53:34):
And do this all the time. Is that a fault? Though?

Speaker 6 (53:37):
Like you, if you understand your friends and you know
your friends and you have assisted her whatever it is,
you know everyone is different or should that be something
you look at and say. You can't just be saying
because you know some people say this that's just how
I am. You have to, you know, compromise and reciprocate
in a different way. Because I want to go back

(53:58):
and read that. I mean, read watch that video she's
talking about fault because that's something I'm not the best
at and have changed at. Would have pushed me to
change that in general. It's not just friends, it's just
in general being more because I'll get caught up in
my go go go, but when I connect, you know
that love.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
But what pushed me is losing a lot of people.

Speaker 6 (54:19):
Since the twenty twenty hit, and it's just been a
snowball down the fastest heel.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
That's icy.

Speaker 6 (54:29):
We've always said, oh, we don't got much time, we
don't got this, and then something else hits. So I've
really been more intentional in just sending random things or
making more time or working things around. So I've never
looked at as a fault. I looked at it as
that's how I am. But when you got me, got me.
But I've just changed for those reasons. So I just

(54:50):
wanted to bring that up because you said you may not,
you know, be that friend that do this.

Speaker 4 (54:56):
I really feel like even so, just going back to
the word right, social capital, you cannot. This is just
from my opinion, have expectations for everyone else to show
up the way you're showing up. So, and I guess
what I mean my issey, Wait.

Speaker 6 (55:10):
Go back, you said, have expectations, the expectations that people
show up the way you are showing up, so the
way you want them to show up, because hey, I
should get it reciprocated if I follow up with you
all the time I'm calling you, I.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
Think you should be doing that same thing. But technically no,
at the end of the day, we are still human.
We are choosing how we want to interact, and some
of us just tend to do more right, Like I
want to have that connection. I'm going to reach out,
I'm going to follow up. I'm going to see how
you're doing. Some may not, but it may not be there.
It's not intentional, right, They're not doing it to be maliceaurs.

(55:43):
They're just saying I'm busy, right, or they're just not
on the time that you need them to be on.
For me, I had to learn that when I'm interacting
with individuals. So I never someone could call me and
I never talked to you from like a year, and
someone could pick up and call me and say, hey,

(56:04):
you know how you been. Sorry, I haven't talked to
you in a while, and I am actually just thrilled
to talk to them now. I will say, though, boundaries
still come in play. So I think even so I
don't expect that person to react or do the things
I'm doing, but there still will be boundaries that I
expect for myself because I start to feel a certain way.

(56:24):
It's not their fault, but if I start to feel
a certain way, I'm going, okay, so you know what,
I'm not going to overly extend myself for that person
because I don't want to because I don't like how
they're doing it. But you can also give that person
feedback too. A lot of us don't share that critique,
so some people don't even know that they're not even
showing up for you in a certain way. We just

(56:45):
tend to just take it in and go, I'm not
talking to that person no more because they don't you know,
they don't call me. I always call them, and I
hear a lot of people say this a lot, you know,
like well, I always call her, but call me, so
I'm not doing it.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
They don't come over here.

Speaker 6 (56:59):
But that's why I try again on my journey of
being more intentional to recognize that now just for losing
some people and I'm able to recognize how much. And
like you said, I don't want to necessarily match everybody's energy.
I probably can't send you fifty million cars like you
send me and all this, but just to level up
the energy a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Only to the point of this topic of a conversation.

Speaker 6 (57:18):
If we're talking about social capital and social currency, and
one of the definitions, like you shared me, to speak
your name or have your name spoken in these rooms
by someone, I guess if we're not really there, are
we pour money for someone? Right? How are we to
social capital? If I love you but I really may

(57:39):
not know what's going on. I like you, I really
not know what's going on. So am I actually speaking
your room?

Speaker 2 (57:44):
And so am I worth that investment?

Speaker 6 (57:47):
So that's why I try to for me take a
little bit ownership in that I'm not trying to match anybody,
but I'm trying to be accountable and recognize that sometime
it may not be enough, even though it come from
a pure heart. Cling to your point, I could pick
up a phone in a year and it's like we
never left.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
I will have a conversation with you. We talked for
hours like we were there.

Speaker 6 (58:10):
But is that enough when we're talking about social capital
social currency?

Speaker 4 (58:16):
Is that enough? Am I?

Speaker 2 (58:17):
The poor ripped dollar that you you know?

Speaker 4 (58:21):
But that that comes to the choice that you make though,
And that's what I mean by I don't hold expectation
to have someone choose to want to interact with me.
If they want to be that value, then fine. But
there's that's where the boundaries come in. Right. Someone calls
mess Stephanie. You know I haven't talked you for a year,
but can you introduce me to this person? I'm like, well,
I can't. I don't know nothing about you. I haven't
talked to you. But it's but I could still say hello.

(58:44):
It's what I'm saying is I could still interact with you,
but you are the one creating the value of your
social capital with me when you interact with me, and
vice versa. But that's why I don't get upset, because
you are the one making that choice.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
So you have different levels of vie you of the
social capital.

Speaker 4 (59:01):
Well, there is there's different levels of value. I mean
there's people who are just you know, like I don't
I don't need to have ten thousand connections right there.
They're comfortable where they're at and that is its own level,
right They just they have the same friends, the same
professional friends. Maybe if they have mentors. Some people just
don't have mentors. Right, There's there's different levels of Also

(59:24):
there's people that have and remember in our role and
our rothics in our conversation when we were asking what
is your social capital worth? And if you remember miss Walker,
Kim Walker, and she said billion, billion dollars. I'm gonna
be honest with you, she is correct. I have seen
this woman network, but that's who she is. She shows
up for people, she will follow through. So she's showing

(59:48):
you what her worth and she know you could see it.
You know, I know that my social capital I need
to be worth this much because I want to go somewhere.
So that's the level she wants to go. And some
of us are like, I'm geting with like, you know,
five hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Exactly exactly to your point.

Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
That's who actually called me, and honestly the conversation because
I was like, hey, we're gonna connect some time.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
We get free time, just like sure you're free right now,
we can call. I was like, oh, I know some stuff.
I'm gonna take some time. Okay.

Speaker 6 (01:00:17):
I got a couple of minutes and literally a conversation
was about I just want to get to know It
was no, it was like what do you do?

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
What can I do for you?

Speaker 6 (01:00:25):
It was like not trying to spill anything about herself,
only enough to like inter change some stuff about herself.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
But her thing was, after I meet it, I just
want to know you. What can I do for you?

Speaker 6 (01:00:38):
I want to be able to think about you. I'm
about to go here and do this, and this situation
is about to happen here. She asked me, mat in
a fact, can you make it nor North Carolina during
this time? But I want to be able to think
about you and the proper way that I want to
need to think about you. So she wanted to hear
everything and we got on it. So that's, you know,
that's rare. It is a lot of times that's that's rare.

(01:00:59):
And people literally, you know, not nurturing those things and
That brings me to a question. I mean, how do
you initiate and nurture, you know, relationships without it feeling
transactional and opportunity opportunistic.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
I didn't feel that was that was definitely not transational and.

Speaker 6 (01:01:18):
Opportunity if it's there, I have to see it way
down the line because opportunity was for me. And I
get this though, will you give someone else's opportunity? It
still helps you, but it's looked at the other way.
It's not like just what can you do for me?
But I'm about to put you on? Because I put
you on, We're on, and I need to know how
to plug you in that room? You know as well,

(01:01:39):
how do you initiate in nurture relationships without it feeling
transactional opportunistic like.

Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
I'm always selling to someone? Yes, I guess because I'm
not selling. I'm I mean, I approach it genuinely. I
want to know about you and I want to know
how to support. But at the end of the day,
people also bring They're bringing their network, right, so when
you learn certain things about them and you start to

(01:02:06):
just question about what they're doing, you get invited to things. Right,
They're like, come on, out because Ms. Walker, You're gonna notice.
She's gonna invite you through a lot of things.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
She said, she said, do you do you come in?
Do you come to North Carolina? You're gonna figure this out.

Speaker 6 (01:02:19):
I got somebody I want to introduce you to. But
she wanted to get to know you, so like she
met when she said, everybody's not like that. You say
one thing, but you show up another way. You see
different people. She showed up, but go ahead, Yes, well
people always will you know they're gonna show up.

Speaker 4 (01:02:36):
Well, let me step back. I think the nurturing part
for me, it's just I'm always constantly doing the follow up.
But that's who I am. I decided I want to know.
But there's so many people I know, but I can't
follow up all the time, so I'm I find other ways.
It could just be a quick check in to see
how they're doing. But I'm never going, hey, I got

(01:02:57):
this new product or this new service you want to like.
I never I never sell. I really I really haven't
actually never sell. It's just I listen to people in
their issues and I let them know, hey, how I
can help. And parts of those things is when I'm
helping if you don't want an extensive part. Yes, I'm
charging because that's the value, right, I'm giving you my time.

(01:03:18):
But that's the authentic side. I guess I'm I nurture
probably the same way as ms Kim does. You know,
it's really authentic. I really want to know who you are.
I'm going to invite you to things. When I see
someone highlight stuff on LinkedIn, I don't even know some
of these people, but I love what they're doing, so
I'm highlighting it throughout the network that other people may
want to know. But they never had to call me

(01:03:40):
to do that, right, So it's I guess it's just
showing up for self in a way the way I
would want people to say. That's how Stephanie shows up. Right,
So when you're in a room and you're talking about me,
you know that that is authentic way of how I interact.
I want everyone across the board to be able to

(01:04:00):
say that. So I guess I've nurture in a way
of being consistent. As you brought up earlier, the consistency
and how I interact with people.

Speaker 6 (01:04:07):
So your consistency is you interact with the old adage
treat others as you want to be treated type thing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
I changed that.

Speaker 6 (01:04:20):
I started treating others how they tell me they want
them want me to treat them. Now I'm just I'll
just and we're being jasparent no, because sometimes i've you know,
you treat people the way you want to be treated,
and you have some of those people that just run
with it. But I can say I may initiate it
that way. And to the point we were talking about earlier,
just go where you're where it takes you. And then

(01:04:42):
I'm starting to learn. You start to teach me now
how you truly want to be treated. Maybe I thought
to treat you the way I want to be treated,
but then you start to teach me how you want
to be treated.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
Yeah, people, so.

Speaker 4 (01:04:56):
People will tell you, remember how I was saying a
little bit earlier, They would tell you how they how
they want to be treated. But no one will ever
change me. Right, I'm not going to change just because
somebody how money act. I don't I because then it
takes you out of your own character and then you
start to kind of go off your your own path.

Speaker 2 (01:05:20):
Of who your alignment of whatever it is.

Speaker 6 (01:05:22):
But the way I treat people, know, you tell me
to cut you off, don't tick for tat and I
love If you'll be able to you can stay there.
But no, if you show me that you are a vampire,
that is why I call it, you will absolutely drain
or you this or you that. I see my life
as like have circles and there's different layers in which

(01:05:42):
people would be and some people get pushed all the
way out the circle. But if you teach me how
you want to be treated and it does not fit
right with my then you already let me know it's
it's cut off. And I do know there is some
people though, and I think this is a gift. Some
people will still say no, I'm still stay in there

(01:06:05):
and keep you know, giving who I am regardless of
you know how somebody is for me, I haven't gotten there.
I literally would give you time. And if it is uh,
like I said, all money's not good money. If I
feel like it is literally draining, I will you gotta go.

(01:06:26):
You show me how to treat you, you have to go.
And that's on all levels of relationships. So for you though,
you'll stay in there.

Speaker 4 (01:06:35):
Well no, so I'm not saying I will stay. I'm
saying is I won't change my character. Oh yeah, you
will tell me how you want to be treated, right, right,
And so if I'm cutting you off, it wasn't because
I'm like, oh I need to cut you off. You
cut yourself off. There you go because of how you
interacted with me. So you chose that that path. I

(01:06:58):
guess that's what I'm saying, right, Okay, yeah, but hey,
you know what if you're acting a certain manner and
a behavior that is causing, it's going to cause a
negative for me. To me I'm looking at us, that's
how you want to show up. And so you're saying, Stephanie,
I'm not ready to be in your space.

Speaker 6 (01:07:15):
Absolutely, yeah, we're on the same page there. Then yeah,
don't don't let it change your character, but it changes
how I would now have that grace of interacting with you.
It's like, oh, nope, that's where you need to that's
where you need to be.

Speaker 2 (01:07:29):
That's where you're supposed to be.

Speaker 4 (01:07:30):
That's that's how I see it, Like.

Speaker 6 (01:07:31):
That's where that's where you suppose, that's where you chose
to be. What is your event that you're speaking about?

Speaker 4 (01:07:38):
Oh yes, yes, thanks for bringing that up. So the
woman beyond Limits network. It's actually been very active for
about seven years. And this is kind of our way
of entering into the masses and finding more women that
are very interested in building their social capital in a
very authentic way, but also how you build your wealth

(01:08:00):
portfolio along with it, right, and so as we're learning
about financial well, we do financial literacy. It's part of
what we're noticing is that our portfolio didn't have social
capital part of it, Like we didn't kind of think
of it as part of the financial portfolio. And so
the actual conference, which is called the Color of Confidence,
brings many women together to have a social capital conversation.

(01:08:26):
And I built it. I actually really designed it with
a young woman named Naisha Arrington. Built it so that
our voices are heard. So it's a working summit. So
I say, we're your sneakers because you're like, you're in
the boardroom. You are, you know, the CEO of that moment,

(01:08:48):
and you're walking away increasing your rolodex. You're walking away
with understanding what is social capital in different spaces. Many
of the women that are coming on entrepreneurs. We discussed
about customer service, what does that look like? What does
customer service look like? As in social capital and how
does it interact with our income, you know, our earnings,

(01:09:09):
So we really dig deep into social capital. It's on
October twenty fifth. It's in Charlotte, in Charlotte, North Carolina,
and our registration actually launches May twentieth, So next week
we'll be launching early registration and I'm actually really excited.

(01:09:29):
There's no And when I say it's a very different
kind of summit, I really try to stress to people
this is not where you're looking at a panel and
they're teaching you something, but the sessions that you're going
to participate in are actual professors who are actually talking
about finance and also how does it compare it to
social capital. So it's a very more I want it

(01:09:53):
to be a high level thought summit where you walk
away going I not only learned something, I just gained
a lot more people in my social capital. I mean
we're moving our dollars in the summit as well, So
we're not just talking about how we utilize social cap
but we're going to actually interact with it as well.

Speaker 6 (01:10:12):
So when you say it's not necessarily panel, was it
like we're touching everybody's engaged type.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Thing or Yeah, what do you mean, You're constantly engaged
from the very beginning. I created it to have an experience,
so from the door all the way to the end,
it's a full day experience.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
I love it.

Speaker 4 (01:10:30):
Can you just try not to give out the goodies so,
I know, even.

Speaker 6 (01:10:34):
Wrap up a touch a little bit just because you've
just said something Customer service social, Yes.

Speaker 4 (01:10:41):
Very very I love studying about customer service. I think
it's just as entrepreneur. When I was working in working
on accelerators, I would watch how entrepreneurs would interact with
their customers and what that customer flow look like. But
it was also just against zerotypes when when someone went
to a black owned business and they experienced something you know, negative,

(01:11:05):
and all of a sudden, every black business they don't
want to, you know, work with. I would hear those
kinds of conversations. So a lot of that just I
became more of an advocate about customer service and what
does it mean, what does it mean for you to
be a customer, and what does it mean to actually
interact with a customer. In one of the sessions actually
at the conference will dig deep into.

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
That as well. Oh I love that.

Speaker 6 (01:11:27):
And you said that's going to be posted where you
said on your website or LinkedIn or.

Speaker 4 (01:11:31):
Both, or yes, it's going to be there your website.

Speaker 2 (01:11:33):
Do you want you abot to go to the website
or do you want LinkedIn's better?

Speaker 4 (01:11:36):
So the website will launch on May twentieth. It will
be going Beyond Limits dot com and they'll be able
to go there and they will see everything about the summit.
Because this is our first summit, we kept it very intimate.
The first seventy five. We will only take up to
one hundred women because the way it's designed. When I

(01:11:57):
say it's it's that powerful, it really is. So at
first you got to get in better, get in when
you get in, that kind of thing. And then as
we grow and I will even leave it here for you,
is that the men are actually coming down the line
as well. So even though we have the women Beyond Limits,
we also have men Beyond Limits and they will be
launching coming with us next year.

Speaker 6 (01:12:19):
Wow, I didn't know it was a cap so I
need to hair up and look at beause I was
telling y'all trying to look at my calendar and see
make it and all this.

Speaker 2 (01:12:26):
I didn't know it was cap at one hundred, I
better hair up and look at ye.

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
I will let you know.

Speaker 6 (01:12:34):
I know the circles you're you're gonna do is gonna
be intentional. Everything you're doing is intentional. So that's another
thing I learned too. I just I don't just show
up anywhere and everywhere anymore. Just no, I show up
somewhere where it has to make sense. And I know
I would definitely love showing up there, especially for how
what you're explaining right now.

Speaker 4 (01:12:53):
Oh yeah, And we designed it for introvert and extroverts,
so it's not you know, pushing somebody in to say
you gotta know someone, I'm telling you. When you experience
what has been designed, it allows you to grow at
your own pace. It allows you to have your own voice,
you know, when you're sitting in the room with your
your sisters at that time. It is a boardroom style.

(01:13:15):
And then I love creating experiences when people move around,
so you're moving into different rooms and each time that
you're experiencing and you're and you're you're with your group
for half most of the day too.

Speaker 2 (01:13:26):
Oh that sounds good. Somebody on here.

Speaker 6 (01:13:28):
We gotta go together, we gotta travel well, we meet
up and go to North Carolina October twenty fifth.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
Right, yes, I tell you what it is that sounds.

Speaker 4 (01:13:36):
It's a Saturday, so it's a it's a good time for.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
And we do have North Carolina. How's the weather. It's
not snowing yet, no, but.

Speaker 4 (01:13:47):
It might be raining, right, well, have that rain moment.

Speaker 2 (01:13:51):
Yeah, I got It's all I said is ray it's
got that to do with it. Yeah, we're fine with that.
I thank you so much, Stephanie.

Speaker 6 (01:13:59):
I support everything you're doing, I can say, especially for me,
I'm always giving you know, a lot of inspiration.

Speaker 4 (01:14:07):
All this.

Speaker 6 (01:14:08):
You have really inspired me to know that, you know,
just keep looking. There's these these groups out here, especially
become a sister. That's one of the reasons why I'm
very excited to come October twenty fifth. That will support
we're they're there to support each other, not to they're
there to collaborate and not compete.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
And to have a group of people that's like minded
like that is a beautiful thing.

Speaker 6 (01:14:31):
And you inspire me hearing you say that's all you do, know, right,
So it's good to always hear the opposite because you
hear one thing on one side and you experience something
on the other side and you come in and you
feel someone who deeply say yeah, no, any other room
I don't feel, you know, but here this has been

(01:14:53):
my story.

Speaker 2 (01:14:54):
Yes, cures rating something for that. I really like that.

Speaker 6 (01:14:58):
Debra said, North Carolina weather in October. It's close to
Atlanta weather at that time. Okay, okay, so then I'll
be good and devor sa to sign me up. All right, Deba,
we need to we need to link up and make it. Yeah,
make this a trip and see what it is. Thank
you so very much in your time. Also currency, I

(01:15:21):
appreciate you so much. I'm so happy that we got connected.
So everyone who listened, as you heard, I mean, you
don't need everyone in your circle. You need the right
ones in your circle. And if there's and that's in
whatever your circle is, and then other people you can
decide where they need to be placed. Some people's value

(01:15:42):
it not as high for you or vice versa. They
may think of you that same way. But the people
will mention your name though in rooms that you don't
even know existed. That's high value. So if you know
that's high value for you, be that person for some else.
The people who water your visions and don't compromise it,

(01:16:05):
not threatened by it. Those are valuable people, so pay
attention that you're not always draining from them, but it's
reciprocating in the give and take. Social currency is real wealth,
and we need to be wealthy in these times. If
you're doing anything or if you want to do anything

(01:16:25):
that's different to help us through these breakthroughs.

Speaker 2 (01:16:29):
At this time.

Speaker 6 (01:16:30):
Now, start being more intentional on your social currency those
that are around you. Pay attention to that value. It
doesn't cost you money, it costs you intentionality. So just
ask yourself, are you just networking or net worth building?
Let that be the new twenty twenty five thing. That
has been the path I'm on, very intentional about it,

(01:16:52):
connecting and elevating my wealth in that way because we
need to be speaking each other names in a room.

Speaker 2 (01:17:01):
So I'm gonna post this as I give my wrap up.

Speaker 6 (01:17:06):
Oh all the good comments coming through now and landscape
driven by the likes and optics. Real intimacy is the
valuable of that's right, single of relationship wealth. Absolutely amazing
talk thinking. This is how we have to keep talking,
ladies and gentlemen, seriously, not just talking, but now showing
up in these rooms, doing the things, supporting each other.

(01:17:26):
This is how we're gonna have our breakthrough. So that's
a rap for today's episode of Seek Elevation Experience. Thank
you so much for tuning in. Thank you so much,
you all for engaging. Like I always say, the more
you know, the more you grow, the more you learn,
the more you earn. But please do share this, especially
with that event going on in October. Wow, don't know, no, no,
no kid, share it. But I'm hearing to get my

(01:17:48):
ticket before thee hundred. So yes, the more when you share,
you care. So please share this. So that's gonna make
me accountable to grab my ticket before you guys try
to get my seat, because I would come there and
set somebody they see and take it. So don't keep
this knowledge to yourself, spread their wisdom. Tag a friend.
Let us all elevate together and until next time, keep striving,

(01:18:09):
keep growing, and most importantly.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Keep seeking ellavation.

Speaker 6 (01:18:14):
See you next time, peace and progress, stay right there, Stephanie,