Redefining Success, Reclaiming Self: The Mental Shift Every Entrepreneur Needs.

International speaker, award-winning presenter, and founder of TES Speaks is on a mission to help individuals redefine success and reclaim themselves. After facing burnout despite “making it,” she realized alignment is the real achievement. Now she’s empowering those questioning if they can experience the fulfillment of success in their personal life, career, or business.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
There was a time people counting leave out.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Put them up me.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
I'm moved inside out. I got to know and know
what that says. But what I believe that God's not bad.
I don't need you to bother me. I know who
I am. I'm created.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
There be of my reflect what my eyes there to
see all.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
The witness, discipless and less ability.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Even want us see bad shine again me.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
There is no time re.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Stad for the outside doll and the betterine, no bad boys.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
The inlets still isself paid dedictions and can.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Say all these simple money bye something not take your mind.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
The lad you're by your pres.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
You on boy this play head leave die all wait
then gets nine neither struly made.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Welcome, Welcome to another segment of these seek elevation experience
with yours truly, Attorney Alakisha. I am an attorney, but
I'm not your attorney. Anytime I may talk about any
information that involves legal topics, I'm giving you information for

(02:25):
educational purposes, not for legal advice. I would have to
know your particular situation in order to give you legal advice.
So strictly for educational purposes, to empower you to dig
deeper and to learn more. But right here is where
real issues, real people, and real conversations takes iner stage.

(02:47):
Because we know change doesn't happen in silence. Intentional speaking
can effectuate change. So whether we're looking at conversations that's
dealing with sports, entertainment, to business or community, our main focus,
our core unifying focus, is to elevate voices that need

(03:09):
to be heard. But my aim is not to just talk.
It is to empower, to inspire, and to definitely challenge
the status quo. So we show up as our authentic
self and we share the information that needs to be shared.
I'm excited about the guests that we will have on today.

(03:36):
I'm looking forward to this conversation. It's an amazing guest
met her a while back with a powerful group, powerful
group that actually caught my attraction attention to the group
through this guest. Although listen, the group is dynamic from

(03:59):
top to bottom from the leader and everybody that leads
in that group is absolutely amazing, but this particular person
definitely I'm appreciative of and caught my attention greatly. So
this segment, though, the topic that our guests will be
talking about, I want to hopefully peel back just the

(04:19):
layers of traditional success or what we think success is
from a traditional manner, and I want us to reveal
what's possibly always missing, all right, alignment, Alignment, It's not
just about doing more, So what is it about? And

(04:42):
that's what I want us to talk about. And please
chime in. If you so happen to see this segment
after it's live, please feel free to leave comments. You
can engage as well. And this person is a dynamic speaker.
So if and I know you will hear anything that

(05:04):
pierces you, you see the order and the energy, contact
their team and see how this person can show up
for you as well. So yes, by the end of
the segment, I just want us to be inspired. I
want us to shift our mindset. And the theme has

(05:25):
been the same throughout this season. No matter who I
had on here as a guest or what we talked about,
the theme has been the same. I want us to
go from just a viving to actually thriving. And what
time to do it? More now than ever, It's just

(05:45):
time for us to definitely reclaim, you know, our true
self because that is the most powerful strategy. We talk
about a lot of strategies in life, and we talk
about a lot of strategies and business. We're claiming our
true self is the most powerful strategy, you know, the
saying what they said, I reclaim my time, Well, reclaim

(06:07):
your true self. I was I read a post on
LinkedIn and I was trying to find it before the
segment started and I cannot find it. And I thought
that if you liked it, like I know, it works
like that on ig and Facebook, if you like something
or you comment, you can follow your activity. But it

(06:30):
was on LinkedIn and I liked it, but I cannot
find it. I don't see anywhere where it allows me
to find something I liked. I did see where I
can find what I commented on or what I posted.
If I can't find what I liked, if you know
what that is, let me know. But what I'm going
to do later is I'm gonna find that post and

(06:51):
I'm going to share it under the comments. But when
I'm talking about reclaiming yourself, it was a dynamic post
because this woman that post it talked about and it's
a very relevant and rampant topic right now because of layoffs,
especially for women and particular Black women. But this was

(07:15):
someone who held a high position at a company and
her post was about. As she was packing up her office,
clearing everything out, one of her colleagues came into the
office and said, you know, we would like for you
to share with us that framework that you would created.

(07:37):
It was a framework for something that they needed to
elevate in. We need you to share that framework with
us before you leave. And then she asked him. She said, oh,
you mean the framework that when we had our board
meeting that I shared and it was dismissed. The framework

(07:58):
that wasn't looked at as you know, good enough. And
she went on and on about all the negative things
that was spewed on her about this particular framework that
her colleague was asking for. And he responded and said
he responded by saying, yes, yes, but leadership had a

(08:19):
change and thought in mind, like we're in a different
place now than where we were then and that framework
would be very helpful and so we will like that framework.
And she said, okay, sure, I will give you the framework,
but it's going to be five thousand dollars per day

(08:39):
under consultation fee in order to share that framework with you.
Explain the framework. He said, oh no, no, no, he
was like, you created that framework while you worked with
this company, so that is our intellectual property. You created
it as an employee. She said, that's true. But if
you look at the contract that I signed three years

(09:00):
ago with HR, this particular framework that I was developing,
I put that I can maintain and retain the rights
of the intellectual property for this framework. So that contract
was signed three years ago. His mouth dropped floored. So
she said, if you will like the framework the information

(09:22):
that I built, it would be a five thousand dollars
consultation fee per day and the minimum engagement will be
thirty days. Power move So as we focus on some
things that are not working out, we have to really
when we're talking about going from surviving to thriving, like

(09:42):
just talking about and becoming victims of what's happening, we
have to figure out where that lining is for us
to become victors. And so yes, she could have said
laid off another woman, another black woman, but she realized
in the moment, I did something to position myself. So
we have to keep thinking about when we make decisions,

(10:04):
are we making decisions to position ourselves to be powerful
or powerless? Are we reclaiming our true self. So these
individuals that's getting laid off, you may have powerful intellectual
property in what you're doing. Maybe we need to rethink
things as you are getting hired, especially if you're hiring

(10:25):
a position of creating, then you need to if you
can't negotiate salary or part of salary, sometimes give up
that inch of salary to go ahead and keep something
like intellectual property because you never know what may happen.
So that put her in a great position, and she said,
you know that, colleague continue to reach out to her.

(10:47):
He would shoot her a message and say, hey, can
I pick your brain about so and so? And she says, sure,
to pick your brain. Consultation costs five hundred dollars an hour.
I just thought her whole story and I just paraphrased it.
I need to find it so you can read through
the whole thing. Follow this person. She's also helping individuals,

(11:09):
especially in corporate America, helping them, you know, rethink their
mindset into position themselves as well. But that is very important.
And so I thought that tied into what we're gonna
talk about tonight, just just talking about just rethinking what
success is just going from surviving to thriving, Like it's
the smallest things that we're overlooking because we're consumed by

(11:31):
what we think are big things. All right, So our
guest is on. I just had to share that story
with you to just set up our energy for tonight.
And I'm going to introduce my guests now and then
bring my guests on the stage. And honestly, my gust
really doesn't need an introduction. But you know, for some

(11:54):
of you were my guests, may be new, I'll give you.
I'll give you that no honors. So my guess, my
wonderful guest that I am so thrilled, honored, humble and
excited to have on tonight, it's Tz tes Speaks. Tz

(12:16):
is a powerhouse international speaker, award winning presenter, transformational or
rates her motivator, and she is the visionary founder of
tes Speaks. And it's not just the moment. Tes Speaks

(12:38):
is a transformational movement. It is reshaping how leaders and
entrepreneurs define success and embodies purpose. She has ignited stages
across the US, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, with South Africa

(13:04):
on the horizon. You see what I'm saying, not just
keeping the message isolated, but amplifying a global message that
centered our mental wellness, identity alignment, and next level leadership.

(13:28):
I'm gonna repeat this again because these are three things
that we need to really take in mental wellness, identity alignment,
and next level leadership. We can't have the latter without
looking at those former two and all of it, all

(13:52):
of it is rooted in purpose. But Tez isn't just
someone who's speaking. Tes has experience personal after battling burnout
herself and disconnection behind the mask, and we know what

(14:13):
that means. We wear a lot of masks. Oh this
is October, right, and we're not October. What happens? What
happens in October? We put masks on, but we don't
just do it on a thirty first. We do with three, six,
five in so many areas. But after battling the disconnection

(14:37):
behind the mask, Tes made a radical discovery alignment. Alignment.
That's the real flex, not just achievement. Alignment is the
real flex. It's the real flex because everything else that
comes after alignment is achievement. And that shift Alon lit

(15:01):
a fire in her to help others break free, a
fire that she was able to spark out and catch
on to other people so they too could break free
from survival mode and step into clarity, courage, and confidence.

(15:24):
We need that right now. So through her work as
an educational consultant, she also in power schools. We know
that is important with sustainable leadership and well being frameworks.
She curates a thriving global community of high impact leaders.

(15:47):
And how does she do this other than just grazing
the stage Like I just talked to you about gracing
the stage. She offers coaching and courses for professionals, entrepreneurs
And you already know where I come from. I tell
you who are entrepreneurs?

Speaker 3 (16:01):
Right?

Speaker 4 (16:02):
Entrepreneurs are business owners, but entrepreneurs are also entertainers, athletes.
Entrepreneurs is a broad word. If we're stepping out to
do something for ourselves from ourselves, you are entrepreneur and
you have to be ready to elevate, and hopefully you

(16:22):
walk away today understanding, ready to elevate without burning out.
So we're gonna talk to bring taz on and we're
gonna talk about blending discipline with self care. What she
does too, the word is she loves yoga, she love running.
I watched them videos where she'll talk to you and
she's doing the workout, so we already connected there. You know,

(16:46):
I'm a runner, I'm a track star. I believe running
now for lifestyle. So she really leads by example and
literally not just figuratively, walking in power and helping others
do the same. So with no for their due, I
am going to bring Tez on the stage.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Hello, Ela Keisha. Wow, my goodness. Mm hm hmm. I'm humble, humble, Alakeisha.
I have never had an introduction, and I mean I'm
a very genuine person. That introduction you said me down,
I was taking notes, I said, I did that. It

(17:26):
was it was just the way you you explained because
I think I don't. That introduction was just so heartfelt.
I appreciate you, y'all. I mean, your audience is so
thankful to have somebody like you like.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
Thank you so much, and I'm thankful for you. And
I met everything I said, and I'm sure you felt
just even the connection from when we met. I love
your or I love your energy, and I love their
power that exudes from you. But such power comes from experiences,
and that's that's why I deliver it that introduction, because

(18:02):
couldn't do it any less, no other way because one
experience and other experience. I get it. So even with
my introduction when I have guests done, I always say,
from your own words, you know what's what is TAZ about? Like,
tell the word from your own words. What do you
want the viewers the listeners to hear about you?

Speaker 1 (18:29):
The first word that comes to my mind, because you
already did a great job explaining all of the accolades.
I would like to say that I am a real
leader and being a real leader, I have to be
honest with myself daily on what's working and what's not working. Alkisa.

(18:54):
I had to go on and run this morning just
to clear my mind and get back in Alarm, and
I felt like I was just like so, I would
like to say I am an authentic person. First, I'm
huge on family. I'm really big on community. That's how
we met. I don't play about me. I don't play

(19:14):
with my family. I don't play with community. I don't.
I'm like, wait a minute. I literally was just on
a call earlier about my community. I'm like, wait a minute,
y'all say so, I don't. I take what I do
very seriously and with a nice pride, a pride that
is gonna spread throughout the regnite purpose and everybody you

(19:35):
know about the community that we have, these people the
second live, they're in their third life. They're like, listen,
my empty nesters, They're like listen, my kids are gone.
I'm speaking now, or I'm just not all these different
kind of people. And I make sure I could just
see a light spark in people's eyes when we do
what we do. So I know that I'm a living

(19:55):
example my friends, of everything I've been put through the fire.
And so with that, that's what makes me a real leader,
a person full of authenticity. And when I say that,
I'm not saying that like, oh yeah, I'm authentic, y'all.
It hurts being authentic. It is tough being real because,
like she said three sixty five, a lot of people

(20:16):
you look to left and your right are not doing that,
and so that makes it very hard to exist in
a world that doesn't reclaim your power, that has this
warped view on success. And so that's what that's what
people like me come in. I let people know that listen, baby,
you and I you're not broken. And if we can
pick up the pieces and we can get you back

(20:38):
in alignment and you can go out and make impact
in the world.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
So that's what I do, Alakeisha, absolutely, and I love
that you said because you're right. You are you are
a continual live an example. Like you said today today
I loant alone. I had to get up, go on
to run, get out there and get back in alignment.
I love that you brought that up because as we're
talking about these words, and sometimes you have so many

(21:04):
people throwing words around that they just get so watered
down and people don't even really know what does that mean?
Is it just a cliche thing? So to live it
is exactly what you said. It's a continuum. Alignment means
you can get misaligned and you have to realign, but
you have to know that that is the goal. So
I love that you shared that as a leader, that

(21:27):
was authentic within itself. That you shared Listen, something may
have thrown me off, get out there and do what
you need to do to shift right back on. That
is beautiful. So I want to get into a couple
of questions and then we're just gonna go wherever our

(21:47):
conversation leads us based on the questions that will just
start from So let's just back up a little bit,
because this is what I believe, especially as someone that
serves on different spaces in different places. Our story begins
with us. Whatever we decide to do, how we do

(22:09):
what is usually shaped while we're taking one step after another,
But what we actually land on starts from something in
us and again that we experienced. So bring us back
a little bit before we get to this authentic leader
right now, Let's go back, Tauz, going back when you

(22:30):
didn't even understand what alignment was. You didn't understand what
reclaiming self or leading for what self? What did that
look like? And the different things you were doing.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
The first word that comes to my mind when you
spoke was a crab. Essentially, I was speaking to one
of my clients. I was like, how's it? How do
you feel? She used this analogy, so I'm gonna share
it here. She's like, you know, a crab, right, you
just in the water. It doesn't matter where the water goes,
you just gonna float. If it goes this way, you're
gonna get pulled that way. And so for me, I

(23:08):
feel like before I knew what alignment was, before I
redefined success for myself, I I like to also give
the analogy of if we are on a train, Like
we're on the train, I feel like I left myself behind,
like I got off too soon and I was just
I was still on the train, like my purposes on

(23:29):
the train, but I got off a little early, and
now I'm just like wait for that train to come back.
And so I just felt lost. I felt misguided. I
felt like I was trying to get on everybody else's
path and nothing was working. So many different businesses, I started,
so many different businesses I had to sell just to
get in alignment because I'm like, wait, that person made

(23:50):
a lot of money doing this, but I'm not. So
I think that was really big for me. Before I
understood what alignment was, it's understanding how to create my
own How did I I need to find my identity
For a long time, and I've worked in corporate America
for ten plus years, I was always the only black female.

(24:10):
I was always the only person of the LGBTQ person
that was that was least open about it to where
I remember I started wearing polos, walking around wearing polos,
I didn't look good. I was so trying to figure
out who what I was doing so badly. I look nice,

(24:31):
but I looked back, I'm like, why did I have
on that polo? So it's just I was trying to
be something, you know, trying to just emulate others. And
I think that's a great thing. That's what kids do,
you know, grow up, you trying to figure out. But
I was doing that, like at twenty and thirty, just
trying to figure out who I am, just putting on
this person mask, put on that person mask. And it

(24:53):
led to a version of success that always had a ceiling,
always had a seating, Like I would get a little bit,
so I'll get a dope, mean rush, but then there
will always be a ceiling, and I'll see these people
still elevating in life, and I'm just like, why am
I plateau? So the word crab plateau and just not
putting on other people's identities, right I was. I did

(25:15):
not know my own identity before I really pretty much
had to hit rock bottom. I remember the age of nineteen,
I've almost getting a lot of trouble. I was angry
afore sure, I lost my aunt and I was just
angry at the world, right, and I remember seeing my mom.
I remember seeing some tears fall down her. It's like

(25:36):
I just had to hit this place of I love
Lewis Ferykohn. He always says, the depths down show the
height up, and so I just had to literally hit
a place to just understand. Okay, listen, so you can
get this low, I can only imagine how high you
can go. So that's where I was before I decided
to redefine success for myself.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
And that's what a lot of people have been and
a lot of people are exactly what you're saying in
our road of discovery on our journey. Because we don't
have the answers, A lot of times we look at
other people and say that must be the answer, right,
because it's connected to something that we're seeing externally that
we may want internally. Right, So whatever from financial freedom

(26:23):
or riches or notoriety, whatever symbolic things are there, we'll
see that and say, Okay, well, I don't know the answers,
but I do see the result in other people. So
maybe if I try that mask, maybe if I try
that uniform, I'll get what I want. And to your point,
like you said, it just wasn't it wasn't a fit,
but it was deep. How you used analogy, it was

(26:45):
like being on a train and an essence of you,
an expression of you, got off, but the other essence
of expression still was on.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
That's deep.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
I visually see that, visually see that, I can visually
feel that. I think because when we talk about a train,
we always bring up a train. We talk about how
things are moving just chaotically or we can't grasp it.
So to talk about how one part of you was
left on a train. I see something just moving fast
like a train, and other part like, oh where are

(27:18):
you going? But in all of that, you eventually start
finding some connection. And all of those things do lead
us to our voice and ourselves. And that's why I
want people to hear that as you found it, you knew.
You may not have knew what to say, but you
knew when you to sing, this don't feel right. And
I'm the only one to doing this. Le'ma keep trying
to put these things on. Yeah, but it doesn't feel right.

(27:40):
So start talking about how when you knew these things
didn't feel right. Yeah, how you when you started to
see the shift of Okay, I'm starting to understand it,
come into my alignment, my voice and what makes me
feel good.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Most definitely, I had to be honest with myself. The
first thing I did, I had to slow down and Lakisha,
I was going way too fast in the wrong direction,
and you know, going way too fast in the right
direction sometimes it's still like a little bit to hold.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
On even in the car.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
You go on fast, I mean, come on now, And
so I had to slow down. Alakisha, I was just
on this. I gotta get it, I gotta get it.
And this was many years ago, so I know now
in twenty twenty five, we're in this you know, TikTok
era where everything's fast, everything's fast. So now am I
just like fast fast fast? But right I personally I
had to slow down and get real with myself. I

(28:36):
had to realize the truth versus the facts. Right, I
had to literally do what was it, a Venn diagram
and like just tell myself, listen, says okay, cool, this
is this meant to be this, this is a fact,
but that's not necessarily the truth about who you are.
So like, as far as being a black female, right,
like you mentioned that great story about that wonderful black
lady who understood the importance of intellectual property. She hadn't

(28:59):
stuff earth. You know, if we look at the news
and we look at the status, and we look at
our history, white people don't have a lot of words.
If you look at us, you know, you go to
other countries, people don't look at us to be a worth.
So the truth the difference between the two, right, I
had to understand how the world identifies me in how

(29:21):
maybe my family did friends, needs to be completely different.
If it wasn't elevating me. I had to then now
create my own identity. That's how I had to slow
down because I was going so fast having the identity
of the world, having the identity of what my friends thought,
having the identity what my mama wanted me to be,

(29:42):
my dad, my grandma, my granny, my aunt, my brothers,
like all of these different things that I never took
the time to slow down to figure out, what does
Test want to do? How is Test going to show
up in this world? Like one of my coaches says,
you were a purpose. You were you were a purpose
before you were even a person. So I'm like that

(30:03):
was the case, Okay, what was I really built here
to do? So for a long time I spent time
in IT that helped me create my I love being
great on computers. I'm so thankful for that. And honestly,
on the case, I had to just stop hating my journey. Honestly,
I used to hate my journey. I used to be like, man,
you know, like I had, I grew, I got, I

(30:23):
had to work in corporate. Man, I'm a black field
man if I was. I just taught you there's like
a level of like hate of self. I think that
happens along the journey that we have to silence. I'm
not gonna say, you're not gonna hear that, boys, but
I had to be real about myself like that, that
voice of like wishing I was different, wishing that I

(30:44):
was born to other people, wishing I was born in
different colored gender, All these different things would come at Man,
I'm like wait a minute later, a minute like stop.
I had to just no, no, no, no, no no.
I had to become the driver of my life. I
remember I was going for a promotion for one of
my IT jobs in the ten years and my partner

(31:07):
at the time I was sitting there. I was like, man,
am I applying for this? Being a black woman, I'm
not gonna get it being a part of the LGBTQ community.
They ain't gonna love me, being the youngest one, they
ain't gonna know about me. And She's she was like, sweety,
you named every reason why they should hire you. And
so it was like I had to rewrite my narrative, Akisha.
It's like the narrative that I kept telling myself was

(31:28):
that I was a terrible person. I'll never be worth
it all. It was like a lullaby every single day
until I started like rewinding. It was like, Oh, you
are an amazing black woman who they need to hear
your voice. Your diversity is exactly what they need, so
therefore they can rejuvenate any changes that they need to
make in order to get to the next level. Your
youth is something that is something that they value because

(31:52):
they don't want to become stagnant in the future. They
want to keep up with the trends, be ahead of them.
They want to create the trends. And so once I
started to rewrite, my narrative slowed down. Oh it was
game over. I started to realize that not everybody did
that work, and no matter where I went, I was

(32:12):
able to knock com them no matter where I went, Alikisha,
literally strike after strike after strike everything, Like you said,
once you know who you are, once you know what
success decights for you, no matter what you touch, no
matter what you do, it's literally gonna exude that xcellenz
and you're gonna feel that change inside too.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
And I'm taking notes as you go because you're dropping
gems like they're just coming out, and I gotta make
sure I take them as you go. One, I just
want to back up when you said truth versus facts,
like there may be things as we talk about an
illegal world, there may be things right in front of

(32:51):
you that are considered facts, a part of this story,
part of this narrative, some evidence, but the truth lies
in between there, and it's how we present these facts
are evidence to actually dig in and discover the real truth,
because sometime what we see is a distortion of the

(33:13):
actual truth. So I love that you say the truth
versus the facts, And then next I wrote down because
this has been a common and this is why I
want my listeners and viewers, whether here now or hearing after,
to really pick up where people are putting down identity.

(33:36):
That's where everything starts from. That's like you are the springboard.
So your identity is going to allow you to flip
the narrative or not. To your point. You you could
go ahead and stay facts, but you have to flip
how someone is actually telling the narrative of what's in
front of you. And I love that those three things.
I just had to pause truth versus facts. So please

(33:57):
let us not get discouraged by all that we see
on social media. And I said, no, you see it
touch everything we see on social media. It may there
may be factual things that is presented, but those factual
things does not have to determine to dictate what the
truth is. There may be narratives that people are spinning,
but you don't have to accept those narratives. And to

(34:19):
do that, you have to have your identity to do that.
Thank you for that, I told y'all, I mean you
got to pick it up as the one is speaking,
really listen to what is being poured out. So now
you go ahead, you shape your identity. You're finding yourself.
You're starting to see somewhat of achieving what success is.

(34:41):
And one I want you to define what success means
to you. But after you start achieving that right, you
still felt at some point some disconnect and burnout when
you were achieving this thing that you're gonna tell us
what was to you success? So what is success? And
then talk about how you started feeling burnt out and disconnected.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, well, I gotta take the success definition from my
great great Auntie may Angelo. I know you can see
of the resemblance. And she used to say, I'm telling
you like she's wow. Jesus told me all the time.

(35:24):
I was like, okay. She says, success is liking yourself,
liking what you do, and liking how you do it.
That right there is still to this day. I have
to I have to listen to it and sit with it,
right because I feel like some of us, you know,
we grow up and we have this picture of what
our life will be like when we're twenty five or

(35:45):
thirty five, or forty five or fifty five and sixty five.
I thought I'd be doing this, but a lot of
times you just have to ask yourself, do you like yourself?
Do you love yourself? Do you like what you do?
You like how you do it? And that right there
helps me slow down because if we're comparing ourselves to
social media we see other people with the maybags or whatever.
Meanwhile they're they're in that maybe by themselves. Meanwhile, you

(36:07):
got a Toyota camera, you your car is booming, You
got popcorn everywhere. It's some candy on the floor somewhere,
but your family, it feels good in your bull So
I just want people to really shift on what success
looks like for you. And I remember my first venture
into entrepreneurship my own trucks Alakeisha. I had an eighteen
wheel on the road. I had a driver, had drivers

(36:28):
that truck. It was phenomenal, but I was burned out.
And again, if I was on this podcast right now
my phone, my drivers would be calling me. I didn't
have a help dest they were calling me, I got
need some money or tests the tire bowl we got.
I don't forget how many tires you got, Eloisa trying
to wipe that away from my mom. But if you
think of an eighteen wheeler, it's a lot of wheels.

(36:49):
So I would get phone calls and the wheel costs
about five hundred dollars each, So I would owe every day,
different phone calls, different thing. Because we would drive across
country Florida California or working in New York, so things
would just happen naturally, like you're just rolling. And I
was making money laksha. Everything was great, but I just

(37:10):
wasn't happy. I remember going out and spending time my
significant other at the time. Hold on one second, hold
on my mom. I remember taking a Mother's Day picture
one day. I'm like, oh, hold on one second. I
just never had time. It was like I was chasing
at the time. Success was like having money. Success was like, oh,
just funny in freedom. Yeah, but I didn't like what

(37:30):
I was doing. I didn't like what I didn't like
who I was in that moment because I was kind
of taking myself away from my family. Then I was irritable.
Then I wasn't against sleep. I would wake up. It
was just a loop and I'll never forget one. The
first time I took the stage in Mexico, I was like, okay,
listen to us. I argue my phone was by the
ring cause I already k knowe what time was l
I know I'm in Mexico, but my phone's going to

(37:51):
ring soon. And I was just about to take the stage,
and I was like, you know, if my phone rings
before I go on stage, I know this is the
last day of me being and this is the last
day I'm no longer going to be in the trunck
And business because I need to do something that's full
of alignment. And I said, if my phone rings right
before a cold stage, that's how I know that as
soon as I get back to Alanta, I need to

(38:12):
make provisions to shut down that business and my phone
and behold right. And that's when I was like, Okay, cool,
I knew what to do. Even to this day. Location
I was tenure almost like eight years ago, that driver
still called me because he said I was the best
employer that he ever had because I took care I
take care of my people, right. But that helped me
right there, right like for anybody looking for a lot

(38:33):
of people always ask me like, that's how you don't
when to stop something? How do you don't want to
get back into alignment when it starts to conflict? Right
Like with everything that you're doing, it's a signal, right,
we're looking for these signals. We're looking for these clues
on which direction to go. And that helped me get
back into alignment because I was just like I'm walking
into my new purpose. I'm speaking life and to myself
on stage and other people. And here this was and

(38:55):
I was like, and ever since I cut that off,
Oh my goodness, Alokisha, growth impact me to people like
you speaking life into people, My life has never been
the same and the best way possible more than just
having financial freedom, like that's just one piece of the pot. Now,
like I have that emotional well being, that mental illness

(39:18):
that we talked about, Like I love how you said
that that the identity alignment, Like at first I was
I didn't identify with just money, but I wasn't happy.
I was like, Okay, how am I gonna do this?
And then now I'm able to take the stage and
have that next level leadership like you mentioned. So I
think it's it's a brutal honesty that happens, Alokeisha, slowing down,
that brutal honesty of like what is what's working and

(39:42):
what's not working? Like really being real Like a lot
of us are, al Keisha. We talking about the truth
versus the facts, but some of us need to realize
what do we lying to ourselves about? Wow, you have
to stop lying to myself like test, Oh, I'm good
I could be a sneaker, I could be an entrepreneur.
I can do that, I can do and yet all
that can beat you. But likew are you really happy?
Do you like yourself while you're doing it?

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Do you like what you do?

Speaker 1 (40:03):
So Alex just had to stop lying to myself. That
was that was very transformational for me.

Speaker 4 (40:11):
Wow, stop lying to yourself. So sometimes we just got
to even step back from what everybody else is saying. Right,
a lot of times we say we are where we're at,
or we're not where we want to be, whatever the
case may be, because of what other people are doing
or saying. But tess, you just listen, challenge the status quo.

(40:38):
Stop lying to yourself. Shit, ain't that what they say?
I had a pause on that, No, because I want
us to hear that. Stop lying to yourself. And it's
also stopped lying to yourself when we take on other
people narrative. Like you said, stop lying to yourself by
taking on somebody else's idea for you and and and

(41:02):
be truthful about your identity. So there's so many ways
to even just stop lying to yourself by accepting something
from someone else, but also just internally what was built
inside you stop lying to yourself and figure out what
the truth is from you and what does that mean? Now,

(41:22):
I want to go back to what you said. A
lot of times we ask, and we do.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
All of us have.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
I'm sure I'm willing to bet everything on this at
one point in time. We've always all of us have
asked where am I supposed to go? What am I
supposed to do? Like? Is this for me? Am I
on the right journey?

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Or whatever?

Speaker 4 (41:42):
And you're saying, pay attention to those signals for you?
You said, if this happens, I'm going to do that
very blatant thing. What happens when people's signals are so
messed up they're missing the signals or the lying to
themselves about the signals that were given to them. What

(42:06):
would you say to those individuals as far as being
able to get a clear signal and being truthful about
the signals that are right in front of your face.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Oh that's great, that's great. I love that question. One
thing that I do, I have to be still, Alikisha.
I have to have a day of stillness. If some
people can't afford to day, they're like, it's too much.
Thirty minutes an hour even if it's in your car,

(42:36):
even if it's just I need people to just be still,
and that stillness allows us to even just come. Before
I came here at Alkisha, I want to go get
a foot back massage. I was in that fall sleep.
I was like, oh, I was like that. It was
so amazing Alokisha to just there was so much on
my mind. I was literally planning my whole day as

(42:59):
she's like my arm like like cool, planning my neck.
I'm like, okay. Finally she got down to my feet
I was able to I'm like, I need to. We
need to shut down. A lot of us need to
just shut literally just like our phones. I encourage you
to shut down, turn this thing. Shut down your mind.
That's going to allow us to reboot a certain software.

(43:22):
Right Like, that's something I talk about all the time.
The software of the mind. That's my IT background coming in.
I use it now. My mental illness talks. You're the
software of your mind. If you if you're not able
to identify the bugs. You ever like trying to click
an app and it's not working. You ever trying to
type your phone on the keyboard, You're like, why is
this working? Same thing if you're not getting the signals
as clear as they then we got to shut it
down reboot because it should be very smooth for you

(43:47):
to identify any bugs, any viruses. It should be very clear,
clear as day. You know they say that. People always
say keep the grass cuts so you can see the
snakes type of thing. But just in our mind, we
got to keep keep a certain rhythm of shutting down rebooting.
That's so important. And so I do that via massages.

(44:07):
I do that. That's why I took I took a
run today. I woke up. My mind was racing. I'm
like six am I a man. It was just a
lot of my mind knew what I had to do today.
I was like, I gotta go. So I think as
soon as we start to catch ourselves in that overthinking
or in those in those patterns of like thinking that
you're not good enough, we need to do something immediately
to break it. So that's even cold pludges. I love

(44:29):
cold pludges. Like my my body doesn't like it. Yeah,
like my mind like we need to shock our system,
like right, we need some type of reboots. So that's
why when people all y'all posting those cute gym videos
and all y'all people in there yet and getting good looking,
looking amazing. But they mind is getting sharper. That's what
you don't see. They're they're they're getting sharper in order
for them to deal with the weight outside of the gym.

(44:52):
So for anybody like, oh, I don't see the point
of going to the gym or doing yoga or doing
all this, It's like, sweetie, it has nothing to do
with the actual act of that is preparing us for
when the weight of the world, when the weight of
our family, when the weight of this gravity, we're able
to now have mental toughness as our default instead of
shrinking into an identity that never belonged to us. And

(45:16):
so I encourage people to do something to shock, to
to disrupt disrupt that pattern. Right. So that's why to me,
silence shutting down is that yoga has been great for
me meditation, and meditation doesn't have to be anything fancy,
even just like quieting your mind even before you sleep,
just being able to think of nothing, nothing that's on

(45:38):
the light, that's that cutting the grass. So even like
literally start to open your eyes and see as clear
as day, you know, just like the sky you see
sometimes as clouds the overcast. Our minds can be like that,
and I'm just okay, cool. Your mine shouldn't be cloud
You can't you should not be able to see the
sun in the moon every day, Like how can you clear?
We need clear skies just as much as we need
to clear mind. So I encourag people to do whatever

(46:02):
modality is best, whatever recommends time. It's a walk, sometime
it's talks to that best friend who is gonna give
you the truth that you don't want to hear like that.
That's what I encourage people to do is to challenge yourself.
That's something that I do. So that mental reboot, challenge yourself.
That's going to like shake up to where when you
need to hear the signal or you're gonna hear it

(46:24):
loud as they because you have literally shaken just shaken
up all the debris and all the all the all
the nonsense, all the noise, all the weeds, cut out,
all the clouds, moved out. That challenge, that shot, that
reboot is going to allow you to hear and feel
those signals.

Speaker 4 (46:39):
I love that analogy with the I T because we'll
take our time to understand and learn about the informational
technology from a computer standpoint, the artificial intelligence from the
artificial standpoint. But all of those things are mimicked from
the creation of our being. Our mind is our information technology.

(47:06):
We have human intelligence, which the artificial intelligence borrow from.
So the same thing that we see how to handle
those glitches and those to your point, bugs and noises,
same thing we need to learn to apply to ourselves.
So I love how you said to reboot to get
out the bug. If the signals are mixed up, it's

(47:27):
because it's very noisy, and it's a lot of you
know how to READI own and things make those sounds.
How do you quiet that? Because behind all of the noise,
the space is there. And I love you brought up meditation,
But more important, I love that you brought up it's
not this fancy thing because it's one of those words
again too, that industries have capitalized down, so people run

(47:51):
from it. They some think is woo woo, something is
too deep. Some think it's not possible. Literally, meditation and
prayer is with us as beings from the beginning. Whatever
that means. Meditation is just the silence of and pray.
Here is the voicing of So that silence of just
meditating and thoughts can come in your head, especially if

(48:14):
we're flooded with them, let them pass and still just
stay in the silence, and that's when those other thoughts,
the signals can come through. So I love that you
brought up understanding. Now I want to pick up from
there because you said your it background, you bring it
to individuals. This is part of your framework. Let's talk

(48:35):
about how your experience and what you have done has
become the foundation, right, become the foundation for test speak
where you do help individuals and share these messages and
teachings around the world. So what does that framework look
like and how was it shaped from your journey?

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Most definitely think one thing people watching me to understand
is you got to use everything. Everything, every experience that
you have been through is literally a screwdriver for something,
a hammer for something, nail for something that you're building. Now,
when I was in high school, I learned how to
video edit. I didn't know Instagram was ever going to

(49:19):
be a thing. Then now I'm able to do reals
and so that's really cool. Same thing with it, it's
go this motherboard, this ram, this os system, all the words,
the cold Python, all this stuff, and now I'm able
to use CHATGBT in a way, I'm able to run
my community and courses in a way, I'm able to

(49:41):
communicate to anybody on my team in a way that
makes sense because people respect you when you understand what's
going on. And so that has helped me a ton.
I know with the framework. Guess it comes from my
book Success Over Suicide, and that's literally where I redefine
success or to transform your life. And I talk about

(50:03):
the importance of the software of your mind, right, like
if our body is our hardware, that means our mind
is our software. So that's that's why we have to
literally be aware of those those reboost understanding. And even
with that understanding is I love how you mentioned earlier
just if you can see those thoughts right. And I
was reading doctor Nikisha Hammon Shots and Nikisha Hammond. One

(50:24):
of her books is called Mindset Training, and one of
the lines that says, all your thoughts aren't real. So
it's just like a lot of us, a lot of
times you just have to like shut down your mind
or just just just watch it, right, just like a move,
just just watch to see all the thoughts that you
have to just gain awareness. That's part of my framework
is the awareness of self. A lot of us don't

(50:45):
even understand who we are where we are. I've been
in yoga class people all over the mat you just
tell their body awareness is not we don't we don't
get taught that. It's something that has to be developing.
So awareness of self is very important. I'm aware of
some thoughts that happen. I'm like, whoa okay, But every
thought that I have doesn't necessarily mean that that's tied

(51:07):
to my identity. Even like I said, the stuff that's
on the news, we look at it like, oh okay.
The same thing with your thoughts, Like you don't have
to identify with all of the thoughts that come into
your mind. And so with that framework talking about awareness, right,
just being able to see who you are. And one
thing that I'm working on Alokisha, that's also part of it.
After awareness, and I struggled with this, which is why

(51:28):
why I had to go on and run today. Acceptance.
I struggle with just the acceptance of things. I'm always
trying to think, well, why wasn't this like this, or
once it gets slowing down after you have that awareness
of self. We have to work on that acceptance of
self and others. And that's that's allowed me to have

(51:51):
a positive self image. So that's when you mad me,
you could feel that that energy because I work on
loving myself. That's a daily thing because if I'm not careful,
I can become my own worst enemy. We've seen the movies,
like the people who do fall out is because they
weren't around each other at one point in time, and
they know they know that's same thing with us. We
around each other ourselves all the time, and so acceptance

(52:13):
of self is very important. And then at that point,
what I talk about is creating. I think it's so
important to create alokisha in some type of way of form.
If it's teaching, if it's created, if it's dancing type
of movement. I need you to I need people to
express more, right, I think that's so important to express

(52:35):
whatever is in your mind. Like there's some things you
just need to just flow through you. And a lot
of us are constipated because we haven't been able to
literally express ourselves in a way, not just with words.
If that's your thing, do if it's poetry, if it's paining,
if it's dancing, if whatever that modality is. I just

(52:55):
encourage people, what was the last time you did something
to express yourself where you weren't performing, where you weren't
trying to impress nobody, but where you were it was
therapy for you? And you like, that's that's what's so
important to me. Like you and you like you got
your awareness. Now you've worked on your acceptance. Now let's create.
And I feel like once people are on that framework,
once people are on that rotation, you'll be surprised at

(53:17):
some of the things that you start to do. Because
that right there, as we talk about reclaim that is
reclaiming your power, right because if you're in the in
the cycle of social media or the world, that's the
whole cycle itself. Right. It's almost like it's like create
your own news cycle and just watch what happens when
you have that awareness, acceptance and you start creating.

Speaker 4 (53:37):
I want to go back to do you have it
in front of you too? You can show it. I
want to go back to the book. Where can individuals
get it? What inspired you to write that book? How
does it help individuals? Where was your tension behind writing
it and how to help individuals please share, let them
know where to get it from.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Listen no first, So I thank you, thank you so
much for bringing it back to that. Yeah, the book
is successive for suicide. It's literally on my Amazon. You
can get on Amazon. You can also get on my
website test speaks dot com. And that book came to
me because the tragedy Alakisha. Tragedy hit me at nineteen

(54:19):
years old. I'll never forget it. I was in school
at Georgia State University and mom told me to come
home immediately. And when I got here, I knew something
was wrong, Like you know, you're just looking at your
mama's eyes, you can just tell something wrong. And she
told me that my aunt died by suicide, and I
was taken back. I was like, and that's when I

(54:42):
started getting in trouble. I was just angry at the word.
I was just like because it didn't make sense, Alakeisha.
Because my aunt had a doctor's degree, I had the card,
my mom was married, my aunt had wedding, ma had house.
I was like, well, that's success, right, Test. How could
somebody not want to be here anymore? If that was

(55:02):
what the world deemed success. Of course, there are a
group of people who, of course me to take medications
and things of that nature. So that's a whole different topic.
But when I just learned that people did not want
to be here anymore, and I grew up and I
have a Jamaican background, so my grandma, my grandmother's j

(55:23):
just making my father's just making and being from that.
Success to them is education, right, education, education, which is fantastic,
don't get me wrong. But to just see how that
didn't make my aunt feeld. I remember her last one
of her last few years a school. She's like, yeah,
I'm just doing it, you know, It's just I'm like,

(55:44):
let's you're not happy. I know she wanted to with
my grandma proud, so like you would think making your
parents proud would just make you, I didn't. I didn't
see her like and so I could just see that
she was just sort of kind of adaptlis like she
wasn't her identity. I don't even know if I really
met my aunt, honestly, I don't know if she was
just taking on my grandmother's I didn't like being who

(56:06):
people wanted her to be. That's one thing I talk
about who were you before the world told you who
you should be who? And so seeing an't go through
that and seeing so many levels of success be reached
make me take a step back and be like test,
hold on, now, you got to redefine success for yourself,

(56:27):
right you. You gotta reclaim you got to take back
your power, because it's just like a crab. People can tell.
People can tell when they don't have it, so they
try to They try to tell you where to go,
they try to tell they try to move you to
each and every way. And so that's why I the
subtitle is how to readdefine success and trans from your life,
because I feel like a lot of people maybe just

(56:50):
they're just living a version of themselves that it's not
going to feel full. Like I want people to I
want people to people look in the mirror. I want
you to like who what you see. I want people
to love what they say. I want people that can't
wait to get to the mirror, like, oh, I know
people who walk past the mirror allocation just so they
don't see themselves. Oh I can't stand like that once again,
that hatred. So I'm just like, how can we stop?

(57:13):
How can we stop that? Right? And that's what I
teach on, how to build more of a foundation of
like self advocacy. Like that's so important, like everything I've
been through yep, that's my narrative yep. And like, oh,
I'm embarrassed that happened to me. No, it's so much
shame that we rule our life like a cloud over
ahead and it's like no, So I just help people

(57:36):
get break out of that shame, break out of that guilt,
break out of fear allocation. A lot of people in
fear navigate their entire life, But for me, I let
fear encourage me. Like that's why I speak on stages.
Every time I speak on stage alication, I am sweating
my part. I'm like why did I Why is this
on my heart? Why?

Speaker 4 (57:57):
Why?

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Why did I decide to do this? But once again, child,
lenging yourself, y'all, we have to get so used to
challenging ourselves and not being forced into a challenge. Like
that's how we're always going to be somebody else. We
challenge ourselves intentionally, even if we don't feel like I
didn't feel running today, but I was like listening to us,
come on before the day, beat you up, you come on,

(58:17):
get help, come on. So now I'm like walking to
day like with authority, right, we need we need to
walk in our lives with more authority of ourselves. And
so that challenge is going to help us and redefine
our success is going to help us. And then that's
why I rock the butterfly logo. You know, like you
go from like you always say you go from. That's
just that surviving and showing up to now throbber. You

(58:38):
walk in the room instead of being a thermostat you
you can change the room and you change like the
orb people. Instead of people saying like this, they set
up when you come into the room because like, what
are we doing? We're not here for a long time.
So that's the premise of the book, Success of a Suicide,
Redefine success and transfer your life. Where I do talk
about that mental fitness, success of software of the mind,

(59:02):
and having more fun kish I feel like people need
to have more fun. I'm really big on fun because
life is already hard enough, and so I encourage people
as they're doing the things for their body and their mind,
they're learning, like I said, expression like do something that
is going to allow you to just laugh uncontrollably, even
if it's just express yourself to where you can feel

(59:25):
the things, right, A lot of us try to suppress
our feelings, and so that book is a guide on
how to navigate through those feelings and come out on top,
like not just go to those dark places, but acknowledge
those dark places, acknowledged when you got off at the train,
and then take that story and elevate from that.

Speaker 4 (59:43):
So that book one more time and where they can
get it at. You mentioned your website and Amazon, but
I want you to say it one more time.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Okay, yep. So if the book has cased success over suicide,
and you can get it on Amazon just typing that title,
or go to test speaks dot com. That's t s
spe A dot com.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
And so there's two things I even want to tie
in there because, like you said, when you're looking at
your aunt and you were judging success, right, why would
you not want to be here? This is success? And
you also mentioned earlier, even when you were you know,
had some financial gain for you, you felt like, I
don't know, you know, you're asking for a sign while

(01:00:24):
you are least in a position to make money, You're
still asking for a sign. Should I be doing this
possibly to walk away from making guaranteed money to walking
into starting over and making no money and have to
make money. So that means we know and we keep
hearing this, but it's the conflicting narratives to our point
we keep struggling with. Success is is just money. Success

(01:00:48):
is by how something looks and how someone else is
praising you by how that look. But at the same time,
it conflicts with the constant things that we see. When
we have people that have just the money, right, just
the money and nothing else, they're struggling. You have people
that have certain notoriety and they're all they're checking out

(01:01:12):
because it's that important piece that's still missing. Yes, we
have the money to fund the mission. We're not negating that.
You don't put that away, but it's funding your mission.
That's the part. What's your mission not just to have
money if everything else is void. When we have money,
if everything else is void, When we achieve these accolades

(01:01:33):
or these symbols that other people can praise, but it
doesn't feel like it matches our identity, We're still just
like not having money or even having those accolades. So
I love how you titles. Well, I'm tying them together.
I love how you brought them out to tie together. Yea,
we gotta just stop chasing the empty part of it.

(01:01:55):
Go ahead, you're about to say something, So we gotta
not chase that empty part of just going for the money,
just going for what success look like. And like you said,
you questioned that what in the world if you have
all this? But then it helped you and I believe

(01:02:17):
all of that together helps you to teach with clarity.
Speaking of fear, it helps you to teach with courage
because courage is not the absence of fear. And I
love that you keep bringing up these are things I
continue to deal with in real life. These are things
I have to do. So I'm teaching with courage because

(01:02:38):
I'm letting you know there's fear, that's presence. There's just
a difference of how we let fear consume us. Is
it driving us or is it draining us? And that's
the same thing. I don't care what you do, athletes, everything,
we always have that element of it's more of a
motivating fact, you know, that fight or fl like if

(01:03:01):
if we didn't have that, if we were completely numb
walking around I'll come up to bear and I wouldn't
do anything like, hey, Yogi, how you doing today? If
that's fair, that fight up flights gonna make me say
I'm going the other way. That's that's not who and

(01:03:22):
so it's okay for us to have it. It's for
us to put our finger on the pulse to know
that we're doing what we need to do. So if
there's any practical shift, yeah, that you can give any
of the listeners today anything to say, hey, this is
a practical shift that you can just focus on now,

(01:03:46):
just start making today. I know you're feeling stuck because
sometimes people hear this, you know, they get hype. That's
why I said your transformation though or raiders motivation will.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Get us hype.

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
You got people that go to these churches or wherever
you're going, get motivated, and then you walk out the
door and say, well I really don't have anything. They
motivated me, but give me something a seed. What would
be a practical thing?

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
Love it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
Love it, love it, love it. I need people to declutter,
like yesterday, I'm decluttering. I'm working on asking myself what
needs to stop because the C word that I'm going
to say is going to be the game changer. That's
certain transformational people are relationships. You think it's because people

(01:04:36):
are this and that. The honest truth is people ain't
got the capacity to love you. People don't have the
capacity to learn you. But the thing is, we have
to have the capacity for ourselves. So how can we
have capacity if we got so much stuff? We got
so much mental strength, Like what what narratives need to go?
What narratives need to transform, what people need to go?

(01:04:58):
What organizations? Then we need to no longer deal with
what routine needs to shift, So declutter. I recommend if
you don't remember anything from this podcast, ask yourself what
needs to go? So therefore you create more capacity for
you to increase your awareness, increase that acceptance, and have

(01:05:20):
more space to create. That's that's the game change in
my friends, it's capacity. That's what's I work with so
many leaders, they've been great, but they didn't have a capacity.
So what good is talent? What good is purpose? What
good is passion? If you don't have any capacity? So

(01:05:40):
I'll tell you that's that's something that So that's why
I had to get rid of the trucking business. I said,
I need more capacity to even understand how to hone
it on my speaking business? How do I do that?
How do I become a better coach? You gotta let
go of some things, my friend. I don't know what
it is. I know we got a few more days
to the end of the year. It don't got to
wait today.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
Where you do this?

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
You can? I mean October. Some people look at October
it's almost like a very a very special time because
it's like the sick the believes are falling. Same thing.
We gotta look at what I'm telling you that it's
so important. I know for me, I've been working on
a few things that needs to go, and I'm so
excited for next year. I'm working with more people. I've

(01:06:21):
let go some people. Okay, listen, I gotta look that go.
And it hurts. I'll be honest, my friend, it hurts
to let go. But it's like, choose your heart. Choose
your heart. Do you want to do you want to
stay the same and hurt or do you want to
grow towards something better? And growing just means another sending
for hurt. It's gonna hurt to grow either way it goes.
So it's just like instead of hurting, it said the same,

(01:06:42):
at least hurt and grow and instead of just growing glow. Right,
that's what allows you to walk into a room with
certain aura and you ere to see people walking room.
It's like, jeez, you don't even hear them, but you
just feel them. But the only way because they have
the capacity to accept themselves, love themselves, and elevate themselves.
You know. That's why I love that seek elevation Like,
that's that's powerful. The only way you can seek elevation

(01:07:05):
if you create more space for it. So we can't
elevate unless we have space, my friends, and I leave
people with that authenticity. Let me tell you something, right,
because I know it's hard out here. I hate being like,
oh yeah, go out into the world, we'll be fine. No,
it's gonna be hard. Have your own identity. It's gonna
be tough, your own authenticity. But when I tell you,

(01:07:28):
it's literally suicide when you decide to take on identity
that it's not yours. That's what I teach people. Suicide
occurs on an emotional level and a mental level before
it ever reaches a physical level.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
So that's why I'm telling people, Okay, what needs to
go and yoga. We say identify what is no longer
serving you. And that is something that I'm working on
aloqisha to help people get to that next level leadership,
have that courage, confidence and clarity and for them to
seek that elevation.

Speaker 4 (01:08:03):
So real quick. Because you said this, I can't let
you like you said capacity, And there's a saying to
that about where it's about the cup. You can't if
your cup is you can't starve with other people, how's
it from an empty cup? Or how so when you
are when you are over capacity, what ended up happening

(01:08:26):
is it floods all the way over all the way
over all, and you have nothing left and it's empty.
You don't have the capacity of what you needed to
feel back up to fill others back in. But a
lot of that happens with and I want your input

(01:08:46):
on this, A lot of that happens with busyness versus progress.
It is literally like a mantra. It's this thing to
achieve to seeing so busy because you talk about capacity,
but you may clear capacity test, you may I got
I gotta do all this stuff because people got to

(01:09:07):
see me. That's super busy versus actual progress. What are
your thoughts on busyness versus progress or productivity?

Speaker 1 (01:09:17):
Productivity is huge, Souse. I know people feel like, Okay,
my checklist is here because you want you want execution, right,
you want that. But I'll challenge people with this. I
heard a CEO of a multi million dollar company say this,
everything that is urgent is not important, and everything that's
important is not urgent, and.

Speaker 4 (01:09:36):
So is not important, and everything that is important is
not urgent. Okay, right.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
I think it's it's about understanding being able to have
more boundaries with yourself on what is important. I don't
care if somebody tell you this, especially with the urgency
thing that has helped me a ton. I love the quote.
Just because you fail to prepare, that is not making
an urgency on my part.

Speaker 4 (01:09:58):
Listen, your urgency does not because my emergency. That's one
of my favorite things I say. I tell people your
urgency does not become my emergency. Your lack of urgency
should I say, your lack of urgency that now becomes
an urgency does not become my emergency.

Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
You get it, because that's all We end up busy
A lot of times. We already have our own list,
but then somebody comes on with their list, and so
now we're busy all day and every day we're just
busy because somebody else comes to put their busy on us.
So I think it's just so important for people to
have that distinction or what's important and what's urgent. That
is something that I have. That's once again to slow down,

(01:10:35):
be careful, be careful getting rushed by other people out here. Right,
some stuff is urgent, right, Like some stuff is it's like, okay,
you can feel that, but be honest with yourself. Some
stuff it could wait. And I need more people to
put their phone down. I need more people to be present.
I've had people, I've had conversations to entrepreneurs. I'm talking
to them as soon as I say something, Yeah, that

(01:10:56):
was old man. You know real, y'all. We're not present.
I'm like, what we think we are here? They are
checking off being at a networking eve, but you're not present.
That's killing us, Like it's literally not. It's taking away
from who we are. So a lot of times it's
being productive. Where is zombie? What's the point of being anything?

(01:11:19):
You're just moving through life. Like I said, I gotta
just remember here going through graduate school, getting a master
Just what's the point of it all? If you're not alive,
what's the point.

Speaker 4 (01:11:31):
Of it all?

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
If you don't know difference what's important and urgent, what's
the point of it all? If somebody else is telling
you what's important versus urgent. That's why identity is so important.
That's going to allow you to feel like even if
you do two things one day, you were still productive
and compared to two hundred things and it was all
for we just have to be better. I feel like
the one thing in order to really have true productivity

(01:11:53):
that I have started doing allocation this practical things. I
do quarterly planning, So Q four started six days ago.
I do quarter and I meet with my team every
week to say, this is what we're doing for the week.
And if our goals for that week is not allowing
my quarterly goals, I'm like team grewed me back in
So therefore, when somebody comes to me with something that's
urgent or important, I look at my goals to say,

(01:12:15):
wait a minute, now, we already we plan this. Sometimes
they're interrupts, but I need people to first set goals
for themselves, even if it's a physical goal, mental goal,
financial goal, and then set weekly goals to understand, Okay,
every single day, am I getting closer to this goal
or further away? That's what's going to determine Pertecticately. I

(01:12:36):
feel like we are allowing other people to navigate our
schedules and that's what makes us so productive, but we
also feel stuck. How are you so productive and you
in the same place you were in last year. So
that's my question of people, like, really define take back

(01:12:56):
your power, plan, your your life. I know you got
even work to do, you get the kids. I still
want you to create an own romance for yourself for
your success from when you sixty and seven. You would
be like, Okay, God did that. That's what I need
people to do. That's that's the true idea of like
what productivity is. Are you working towards becoming the you
that can handle the success, the happiness, the love and

(01:13:18):
the overflow that you desire. That's productivity.

Speaker 4 (01:13:25):
Listen a whole word, a whole word. Let us say, amen,
where where can individuals connect with you to see where
you're speaking at? Next? How they get to your team
to have you speak to them or provide your services

(01:13:47):
in whatever way that you do provide them. And I'm
big on this. I know a lot. I have a
lot of guests. I don't like to sell stuff. No,
we ain't selling. We're connecting when we on seek elevation platform.
But I tell my viewers, listeners, current and come to be.
We always have a reason why we can't move forward.
I don't know this. I don't know where to go here.

(01:14:08):
I don't know. One of my intentions with going live
this season was I want to now create an ecosystem
of connections in the areas in which is drowning us
that we keep making excuses for Now it comes to
accountability because when you now have it. I'm doing this

(01:14:32):
because of what I've heard. I always pre recorded just before,
but because of what I'm constantly hearing. I'm gonna go
live and we're gonna connect, and you're gonna see, You're
gonna fill this person, live, the emotion everything. We're gonna connect. Now,
who is it on? So where can they connect with you?

Speaker 1 (01:14:50):
On?

Speaker 4 (01:14:50):
What platforms? To you know, get whatever or even email addresses?
When you get your team, how does that all work?

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Most definitely one of the best play contact my team
and I is going to test speaks dot com. You
can literally book a free consultation if you're interested in
any of our services and the services that I do
provide keynote speaking to organizations, to leaders, to schools about
the importance of emotional intelligence, mental toughness, authenticity as a leader.

(01:15:21):
I also do coaching, so as far as anybody who
wants to learn how to show up in a room
and not shrink. I've had a few clients who were
leaders of corporations. They're like, I just don't know how
to pitch. I don't know how to feel comfortable. I
don't feel good using my voice. I hope people find
their voice to my professional development coaching and so that's
testpeeks dot com. Also on Instagram, my friends, my team

(01:15:41):
is always in my dms. We're always looking to see
how we can connect people. That's how me Alakeisha. We're like, hey, listen,
what are we doing. You can even see us a
DM to be like, hey, test we need to connect
and we'll see you the link to the website if
need be. Those are the best ways to reach out
to my team. Like I just got to give your
flowers too. I mean this is but now I'm gonna
one the best podcast. I mean, like, I don't even

(01:16:03):
know how you eat this. I don't even know podcasts
even the right word episode. I mean, this was an
experience and I am just so thankful that you brought
me into the space. It just shows how much of
character you have, like it's palatable, how like rich and
spirit you are. And so I'm so thankful for the
people your audience who get to experience you your wealth

(01:16:24):
of knowledge, Like, thank you so much for sharing me
with your platform.

Speaker 4 (01:16:30):
And it's my pleasure and with this real estate because
what I believe, like I know, Malcolm X, John Coltrane,
all the people way back didn't probably see the foresight
that years and years later, it will be people like
ourselves that go back to see speeches and listen to

(01:16:50):
music and things that help because those things that's captured,
that content is real estate to help the continuum of empowerment.
So my goal was identify individuals that I know need
to be real estate for a war that we're going
to continue to fight and it make it bigger, and
they need to go back and continue to hear the voices,

(01:17:13):
the reasons to do whatever, but how to do it
how to connect and for us to be accountable now
to show up. And so that's why I do it
so tonight to you all, tonight was more than a conversation.
Tonight was a call to confront the truth, not just

(01:17:36):
facts that we've accepted, but the truths that we have
ignored within ourselves. Get quiet to find out what those
truths are. And TZ reminded us that taking on someone
else's identity, and I'm gonna slow down to say, what

(01:17:56):
doesn't remind of Taking on someone else's ideay is a
slow suicide. You are killing yourself because you are severing
your identity. You figure that out. Taking on someone else
is slow suicide. And that real success, the kind that

(01:18:18):
sustained you were talking about right, because we're talking about
the other people said it is. But the real success
starts with we're claiming yourself. We've been chasing freedom and
finances and titles and applause, but the deepest freedom is

(01:18:39):
identity freedom. The growth will stretch you as you try
to find your identity. It will stretch you and it
will hurt. Can you imagine the seed pushing through the dirt.
Do the dirt some of it pushed through? Submit I
was at the track at a track, and I've seen
how some of that submit like little crack, but there

(01:19:00):
was grass pushing up through cement and dirt. Growth will
stretch you and it will hurt, but it will force
you to declutter the lies you lived with and the
labels you've worn. Take those off and say what you
are worn by somebody else. Because on the other side

(01:19:20):
of that dirt is your power. You ever walk by
and see the beautiful roses, smell the roses, that's the
power of the beauty of the rose that push through.
So challenge your stuff, Challenge yourself. Stop lying to yourself.
Because understanding systems, it ai all that good stuff we're

(01:19:42):
talking about is one thing. But understanding your own mind,
your own truth, and your own worth, that's what the
shift begins. So I know this segment hit home. I'm
gonna stop there. Make sure you get test books. Success
over Suicide. It is not just a read, It is

(01:20:04):
a mirror. Look in it. Look in it so you
can prepare and be proud.

Speaker 1 (01:20:10):
Tess.

Speaker 4 (01:20:10):
I want you to end us off on that quote
by Maya Angelo.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
That quote goes, success is liking yourself, liking what you
do and liking how you do it, you already heard it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:28):
So the more you know, the more you grow, the
more you learn, the more you earn. But when you share,
you show care. Share this episode, spread the wisdom, tag
a friend, make sure we all elevate. Until next time,
keep striving, keep growing, and most importantly, keep seeking ellavation.

(01:20:49):
See you next time. Peace and progress,