October 28, 2021 • 58 mins
Join Devi Ward Erickson and her panel of certified Experts for the final episode of 2021!
Devi and her crew answer listeners questions about:
* Keeping and maintaining and erection with new partners
* How to find time to practice Tantra
* The reality of wet dreams
* Why Gspot vibrators are a SCAM
Join us for the last episode of the season and make sure to subscribe to Sex Is Medicine in iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube
Thank you for listening to Sex Is Medicine! We appreciate YOU! :-)
Please make sure you LIKE + SUBSCRIBE to Sex Is Medicine REBOOT! And please leave us a comment... we love to hear your thoughts!
Do you have a question you want answered on air? We are delighted to answer!
Send your questions to Questions@holisticsexologyinstitute.com
Learn more about our work at HolisticSexologyInstitute.com
Find out more about our government-accredited Holistic Sexology Certification Program.
See you next week!
With Love,
Devi and Alaina
Devi and her crew answer listeners questions about:
* Keeping and maintaining and erection with new partners
* How to find time to practice Tantra
* The reality of wet dreams
* Why Gspot vibrators are a SCAM
Join us for the last episode of the season and make sure to subscribe to Sex Is Medicine in iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube
Thank you for listening to Sex Is Medicine! We appreciate YOU! :-)
Please make sure you LIKE + SUBSCRIBE to Sex Is Medicine REBOOT! And please leave us a comment... we love to hear your thoughts!
Do you have a question you want answered on air? We are delighted to answer!
Send your questions to Questions@holisticsexologyinstitute.com
Learn more about our work at HolisticSexologyInstitute.com
Find out more about our government-accredited Holistic Sexology Certification Program.
See you next week!
With Love,
Devi and Alaina
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Sex's Medicine, your number one resource for holistic
sex education. I'm Davey word Ericson, and I invite you
to join me every week for another enriching and powerful
conversation about the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, pleasure, and personal growth.
Each episode of Sex's Medicine is dedicated to awakening your
(00:23):
heart and mind to the true purpose and power of
human sexuality. Please join me on this journey of self
discovery as we explore the art of using pleasure as
medicine to awaken, heal, and empower every area of your life.
Sex's Medicine broadcasts every Thursday at seven pm Pacific on
(00:45):
Contact Talk Radio Networking. You can listen to the replay
and subscribe to Sex's Medicine on Spotify, Stitcher, tune in, iTunes, iHeartRadio,
and YouTube. And now get ready for another episode of
Sex Is Medicine. Hey, everybody, welcome to sex Is Medicine.
I am your host, Davy ward Ericson, here with you
(01:08):
once again for another delicious conversation we explore the intersection
of sexuality, spirituality, pleasure, and personal and growth. I want
to give a special shout out to all of my
sisters from a Sister's Leading Sisters retreat that I just
left last weekend. You can check out Sisters and Leading
Sisters dot com for info about the next retreat. But
(01:29):
I just wanted to give a shout out to all
my sisters there who may be listening and have been
listening and following me through all these years on Sexis Medicine.
It was an incredible pleasure and honor to meet you
and play with you in person. And I look forward
to next year, next time, yes, And then today I'm
just wanted to let you all know that this is
our last Sexist Medicine episode for twenty twenty one. This
(01:51):
is it, my friends. We're taking the winter off. We're
gonna rest and integrate and heal and cultivate new content
and cultivate all kinds of new amazing stuff to offer
through the Institute of Authentic Countra Education. So you want
to make sure that you are signed up for our
newsletter and signed up for our social media so that
you will not miss and they have the amazing content
(02:11):
that is going to be coming at you in twenty
twenty two. We have some incredible things on the horizon,
some wonderful programs for all of you, updating our certification
curriculum to even higher standards. So there's all kinds of
wonderful things coming down the pipeline from the Institute. I
want to make sure that you stay connected and you
don't miss a single yummy drop, So make sure you
sign up for all of our free offerings at authentic
(02:33):
tonture dot com. We have so many free stuff for you,
and then make sure you stay connected to us on
social media at Authentic Contra woohoo. And then of course all.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Of my wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, incredible guest speakers that we
have online with us this evening, our crew of sexologists
to answer your questions.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It's been so fun answering your questions as best. You're
now look forward to much much more. In my upper
right hand corner, of course, we have Lucia Basquez. To
my upper left we have the lovely Rosy Bits. To
my lower left we have the exquisite Karen Craig, and
to my lower right we have the stunning and regal
Sequita Whitfield, who also is at my house. You may
(03:18):
recognize her view from previous episodes. Yay awesome. So we
have some awesome questions to answer for you, our wonderful
audience this afternoon that you have been sending to us
individually and collectively. So we're going to start from the
top and work our way down. So our first question
(03:40):
is da drum roll please? What do you do when
someone is having issues keeping their erection and they are
very new to you? So I think that many of
us YONI owners and lngham owners listening can probably relate
to having issues keeping their erection, particularly with new partners.
(04:01):
And this question is specifically from a sex worker asking
about working with clients, but I thought it would be
wonderful to answer it both ways. Both from the sex
worker perspective, because we love and support our brothers and
sisters and siblings who are sex workers doing important work
in the world. But then also for your average everyday
person who may be struggling with maintaining an erection in
(04:24):
new circumstances, What is the cause of that and the
lies that occurring and what can we do in the moment?
So who wants to be the first to take take
a crack at this? What do we do when we're
struggling with an erection? In a new, new situation. How
can we support our partners with fluctuations and erection? What
are your guys' thoughts?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I would probably approach it from potentially an anxiety standpoint,
so you know, like there's no reason that you have
to dive in at that moment, Like you can pull
back and you know, do some breathing together, do some
ocean breath together, and you know, maybe some conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Around like what what are they feeling?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
What are they experiencing, so you know, maybe it maybe
it is performance anxiety, you know, and having some uh
some some conversation around that.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
So you're really creating a safe space for.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Them because as women, as Yoni owners, we tend to
think of men as you know, always just like ready
to go and you know, and we're like, so, what's
your problem? You know, And so that's not really safe
space for a man because they they are always you know,
just ready to go, and they do have things that
they've brought from other experiences and all of that and
(05:47):
wondering how they're going to perform and if they've you know,
a part of porn culture, which so many people are because.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
That's what the culture is.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
You know that sense of like, am I going to
be able to make or squirt across the room, because
of course that's what you know, poor and Chile's this
is supposed to happen, So you know, I think I
would kind of start from that perspective.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Beautiful, I love that. I love that, so checking in,
approaching it as an opportunity to check in and find
out what might be going on emotionally psychologically for our partner.
Who else I'd like to add to.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That, I would say checking in and also redirecting, like
as Karen was saying, you don't have to focus, you
can kind of you can let your partner know, hey,
this is totally okay, no big deal. It's okay if
your erection comes back, it's okay if it doesn't come back.
There's many different ways that we can pleasure each other.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
And I am.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Open to pleasuring you with a soft cock if that's
what's going to happen. As long as you're having pleasure,
let's keep going. And I'm having pleasure. And I would
say from a sex worker perspective, like, actually, this this
question came up when I was doing a workshop with
a number of sex workers and they had great ideas,
like you know, they're working in the field, they're working
(07:03):
with these libs all the time and doing deep healing,
and some of them were saying, you know, sometimes all
it takes is just like let's take a breath, let's
get a glass of water, let's just sit and cuddle
for a minute, and like connecting from a heart to
heart basis so that person can get back in their
body and allow their arousal to build. But I would say,
(07:24):
in partnership or somebody, maybe you're having casual sex, just
taking that time to be like, hey, we can have
so much fun with or without your erection.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And I love that, Rosie. I love this re reframing
or re I don't know, busting the complete paradigm that
a hard cock is required for sexual pleasure between you know,
lingomowners and Yoni owners. Lingomowners and lingomo owners like the
hard cock. It is not required. They're wonderful and we
(07:55):
love them. But pleasuring soft cocks, like that's like a
whole new thing. And I think that there's like so
much shame right as you spoke about with our cultural
conditioning and porn culture. They're so shame about having a
soft penis as a lingam owner, as a man, and
this expectation, like Karen was saying that you're just supposed
to be hard. If you're around, you're supposed to be hard.
(08:16):
And if you're not hard, then what's wrong with you?
You must be broken. But embracing the soft cock, like,
I just think that that must be so medicinal and
so healing for all of us.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Well, and I think a lot of Yoni owners don't
even know that soft cocks can receive a lot of
erotic pleasure. But just because that cock is soft doesn't
mean that things are not feeling really good and juicy. Yeah,
someone can actually even orgasm without an erection.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Yeah right, that's.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Something that was new to me. And I was like,
what I thought, without the erection, you just weren't having
any fun.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, And certainly having in gorged direct talitation can increase
in heightened sensitivity, but for some people that's not necessarily required.
And yeah, I do. I just love this whole like
reframe that that just like soft cock love soft hashtag
soft cock love. Lucie, what are your thoughts? Is this
something that you you run into in your practice because
(09:13):
you do do.
Speaker 6 (09:14):
Have yeah, yeah, no, yeah, it is I was gonna say,
you know that I definitely agree with what Karen and
Rosie were saying. And I come across this a lot
of times because I do work with those who are
hit a new client.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
It's you know, they're brand new and stuff.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
Never I don't know what the circumstances are, you know,
if they have any concerns or issues.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Sometimes they will come out forward and say so.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
Sometimes they don't, you know, and and it's not even
really necessarily an issue. But what I do see happen
is a lot of times, which is why the breathing
is so important. Is they are or they're going through
that process of reaching orgasm. They are breathing very very
(10:06):
at a high heart case, right, and so the breathing
is really encouraged to you know, to get them to
relax more.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Right. And then also what I do is all massage around.
Speaker 6 (10:19):
The in between the perineum and around the the aner
thighs and right below the scrotum just because there's it
also helps with with relaxing with the your vagus nerve
along with the breathing, because those nerves are heating in
(10:40):
those areas and so a lot of times it's it's
just stuck energy that needs to get moved.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
It's the same thing in the performance anxiety.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
And again with that the heart rate, you know, beating
with the breath excuse me, with the breath work.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
It's getting them to relax a bit more here.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
And and so I've definitely.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Just show compassion, right, be kind.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Sometimes there are those that they take it really hard,
and so sometimes they'll use their words and they'll say,
I'm sorry, I'm don't know why I'm not functioning properly today,
you know, And so I'll I'll just let them know,
you know, hey, it's okay. You know, we're just gonna
take it a little bit slower. I'm going to have
you do some deep breathing. And then there's different techniques
(11:28):
or motions that you can massage and use, and it's
not like this rush hurry process, right, and so it's
a little bit you're taking your time, right, And so
I do specialize particularly in those kinds of and it's
on my website you know that that it's it's it's
that ending port where which which is considered a linga
(11:48):
massage is going to take some time.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
So it's not.
Speaker 6 (11:53):
Something that's you know, if it's going to be just
a quick couple of minutes, then I'll you know, you're
not gonna it's not enough time to be even you know,
become a wreck for someone others. It's it is, but
that's kind of you know, the approach that I that
I take. And I also then refer them, you know
to if they want to, if they have concerns they
(12:13):
would like to work on, then I refer them, you know,
to their coaching services, you know, and so and so
I get, you know, a variety of those that are
coming in brand new and just kind of being curious,
and then something like this comes up, and then again
you explain the idea, this idea of you know, a
soft penis, and you know, and and I don't think
(12:35):
that I really think that it comes down to just
not knowing that.
Speaker 5 (12:42):
You could.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Actually there's just sometimes that there's there's softer skin, and
especially with those who like are maybe above the age
of fifty fifty five ish. As what I've seen is
is the ones that are above that age, as we age,
(13:03):
what I've seen is a lot more sometimes there could
be more excess skin, right, so we wrinkle over time, right,
our skin it's naturally in our body is going to
wrinkle over time, and so sometimes there is a little
bit more excess skin, so it's softer and you still
become erect. You can still become erect, and you may
not feel it as hard as you might who somebody
(13:24):
who is you know, maybe in their in their twenties.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yes, So the strength of the yeah.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
So the strength and also the the tissue that you're feeling,
you know, for especially also for those who are some
circumcised versus uncircumcised, there's going to be additional skin on
some and some of them don't have it, and so
the feeling of it, you will feel that some are
quite squeeche here right than others.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
And that's perfectly normal.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
I you know, if somebody is coming to me and
they're saying, you know, oh, I'm so you know, I
don't know what's going on today, and I'll say, oh, no,
don't you know, it's okay, this is quite normal.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
There's nothing wrong with you.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
And other times there's people that come in and they
don't say anything, you know, but you can tell that
they are worried, right, and so again taking them back
to the breath work, you know and having them doing
the deep breath breathing and then doing massage around the
pelvic areas to kind of get them to relax into it.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And I love that you gave some I love the
methods that you gave to help support support that process.
And I just want to carve out here why the
breath is so important because it was a revelation for
me to when I learned that the parasympathetic nervous system
governs the governs erection, it governs the erectile response. The
(14:49):
parasympathetic nervous system is about resting because when we feel safe, right,
when we feel safe and rested, and so it makes
so much sense when we're in the performance anxiety. Erectile
fluctuations make so much sense because if I'm anxious, I'm
not in my parasympathetic response. I don't feel safe, I
feel anxious, I feel afraid. I'm in that fight or
(15:10):
flight response, and so my nervous system actually is not
able to support the erection because it's getting ready to
flee or throw down fight somebody, right, And so this
also makes a lot of sense when it comes to
just like you know, it may not even be performance anxiety.
But for a man, if he's just had a really
stressful day, right and he's in his head thinking about
(15:32):
stuff and chewing on the day, he's not going to
be able to get his erection may fluctuate or he
may not be able to get an erection because he's stressed.
So stress is a boner killer really important for us
to be aware of. And so that's why the breath
practices that you all are describing are so important, because
our breath regulates our autonomic nervous system, and if we
are in a fight or flight response, we can use
(15:53):
our breath to soothe and calm the nervous system and
come back to that relaxed balance that is required for
not direction, but for full sexual activity. So I just
wanted to dig down into that. Any thoughts that you
want to add, Sequina in terms of what to do
in the moment if our partner is fluctuating with an
erection and can't can't stabilize.
Speaker 7 (16:14):
It, I wholeheartly agree with Rosie and Lucy and Karen,
and I would add to praise their lingam because men
are not off I call it linam worship.
Speaker 8 (16:26):
You know, a lot of times the linom is supposed
to be functional and not adored. And you know, the
yoni is always adored and it's so beautiful, but the
linam doesn't get that kind of attention. And so when
I give them that kind of attention, they totally relaxed
and then they feel safe and emotions come up because
they've never had that kind.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Of attention given to them their linum. So I would
offer that I love that piece. The words of appreciation
using words as medicine. That's tauntric speech, So using our
tondric speech to bring praise and adoration and worship. And
it's particularly when the linum is soft, right, giving giving
praise and worship to the lingam when itself because you're
so right, it's like it's there's a demand. That's the
(17:06):
only purpose of the cock is to pound pussy, that is,
you know, the purpose of the cock, at least in
foreign culture. So to be able to just offer to
honor the linam and all of its iterations and the
door of the lingam when it isn't performing, I love
that piece. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (17:26):
I just also wanted to add to in my own
personal experience too, when it came to uh comes to
just relationships in general and intercourse is you know, I
when I have encountered that happening before, is that I
just go and I I give attention to other parts
of the body, right, so oral right, oral kissing all
(17:48):
over the body, you know, giving uh, you know, oral
sex and and and uh that usually you know, really
works and just spending the time. They're like, how Sequita
is saying, you know, we're should being the cock right
and and I was just going to add for going
back to the sex workers, is a lot of times
(18:12):
there's a huge difference of being present in the moment.
And when you come in sometimes a lot of the
clients they want to talk about how their day went.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
They want to you know, and they're talking throughout the
whole entire.
Speaker 6 (18:26):
Session, and then you get to this part and I've
seen that happen where they're not able to really connect
there because they weren't really filling into the moment. And
so one of the things that I do is we
talked for the first few minutes of the session, and
(18:46):
then I encourage them to kind of just rest, relax, breathe,
and be present in the moment, because this is about experiencing, exploring,
pleasure and hitting the different areas of the body that
are going to be awoken. And in order to do that,
you know that you need to be present in the moment.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Yes, I just wanted to add that this very beautiful.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Well, thank you for that piece. Thank you for that piece.
It's all you know, it all ultimately boils down to
nervous system regulation. That's like the key to life.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
You I just wanted to piggyback on what everyone else
has said, Like I love the conversation because it's focusing
on a man, focusing on a lingam owner as a
whole person, as opposed to like, as women, we think
about being objectified and there's a lot of conversation around that,
but it's really objectification of men of lingam owners when
(19:44):
the sole focus around their sexuality and sexual performance and
even just their personhood is around their penis like one
organ and the organ in one state, you know, in
an erect state.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
So you know, I love.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
What the other panelists have said, you know that really like.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
This is this is a person, a whole person, and.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
We're focusing on them as real people and not just
like a sum of their parts.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, beautiful beautiful. Yeah. And then then just
one more thing that occurred to me, Lucia, is I
just want to celebrate the fact that you said oral
and then you brought her attention to kissing the whole
body as part of oral. I love that. Again, that
reframe that oral isn't just all I'm going to put
the penis in my mouth or al is kissing the
(20:32):
whole body. Oral sex is my lips kissing every inch
of you. I love that. So thank you for that reframe, Lucia.
All right. Question two is from a This is came
through Lucia. I have a strong interest in wanting to
learn more about tantra, but my schedule is so very busy.
(20:54):
How can I benefit from learning more if I don't
have a lot of time? Well, that all the times
of a style of talture you want to practice, my friend.
So what are your thoughts on this when when someone says,
and this is common, you know, because there's misconceptions about
what tontra is and isn't. But that is a thing
(21:15):
that people say, Oh, well, tntra, I'd love to do,
but I don't have time. It takes too much time.
So what are your thoughts on that you, guys.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I would say, yes, if you want to die deeply
into authentic lineage based contra, it's gonna take some time.
It's gonna take some commitments, like anything else you're going
to do in your life, like working out or any
other self care or any other learning. So yes, absolutely,
But there are many gentle paths like I start to
learn about different types of tantra when my kids were little, right,
(21:47):
my life was very busy, very full. I didn't have
a partner who was interested in it. So you have
a book by your bed that you read a little
bit every night. These days, there is so much good, like, yeah,
let's Davey say there's two hundred and twenty episodes of
sexist medicine that you could start listening to driving in
your car, put on a podcast, you know, make a choice,
(22:10):
probably narrow it down to, like, what do you want
to learn in contra specifically, and then you can get books,
you can get podcasts, you can follow people, you can
ask questions. You know, you can definitely do the drip
feed of TNTRA.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, thank you, Rosie, Thank you so so exploring some
intellectual study of tontra before even needing to engage in
the yoga of TNTRA. Yeah, anyone else, what are your thoughts?
Speaker 8 (22:40):
Yeah, I mean like, oh, go ahead, Karen, go ahead, goods.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
As Rosie was saying, just the And it doesn't have
to bet just intellectual, because it's it's really weaving it
into your current life, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
So that's what the yoga is.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
It's like, if you know, we're doing yoga, it has
to be we're doing yoga in the context of our life, like.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Not something that we just go somewhere and try to
find some time for.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
And the concept of time is really what you're prioritizing,
because time, you know, there's just there're twenty four hours
in our day, and so a lot of it's how
are we prioritizing it. So if we're prioritizing it around
our well being so that we can give to our children,
give to our spouses, give to our job, like we
(23:29):
have to be whole and healthy. And if we're understanding
contra and authentic contra is a healing modality, it is somatic.
So it's it's not just about you know, having three hours.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Of sex, you know. I mean that you know can
be part of it.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
But I mean the focus is really on moving those
blocks so that.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
We really can be full, whole, integrated people.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
So I mean, I'm looking at it more from a
perspective of like what's important to you? You know, are
are you important to you? And if you're important to you,
then then the time the time opens up for you.
You know, it's just like when did the gym or
anything else that you want to want to do to
support your well being?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Thank you so much for that, Karen. And I'm going
to jump in here because that falls into when I
was first starting my training back in Kawaii and I
was in the dharma class with Lamatashi and one of
the students asked, you know, what where do we fit tntra?
Like are you know, we're busy, our lives are busy.
I feel overwhelmed, like where where how are we supposed
to work and do tantra and do all the other stuff.
(24:36):
And when Lamatashi said, this, tantra fits into your leisure time.
So if we think of work, you know, for that's
like eight hours a day maybe, you know, depending on
you know, granted, if you've got three jobs, it's going
to consume a lot more, but the general kind of
middle class American rule of thumb is you go to
work nine to five, right, So that leaves quite a
(24:58):
bit of time in your life life for leisure. And
so exactly what you're saying, Karen is what is taking
a cold hard look at what is it that we're prioritizing.
But also when it comes to tantra, there's sexual tntra
and there's non sexual contra. And when you're learning lineage
based contra, it's going to be presented in a way
(25:20):
that's holistic. So there's going to be TNTRA practices, non
sexual countra practices that you can do in your fucking car.
Like seriously, I have so many students that do work
nine to fives and they at their lunch break, they
go out to their car and they meditate, they get
their contra, they get their non sexual contra practice in,
or they go to a quiet room and they journal
(25:41):
and they do NVC, or they do some ocean breath
to relax. So when you're practicing authentic lineage based tntra,
there are there are so many methods, so many tantra
yoga practices that should be woven into your everyday activities
because tantra is about how we have a better life,
how we cope with stress, how we regulate our nervous
(26:03):
systems in the face of, like, you know, the world
that we live in, and truly, at the heart of
authentic tntra, it's enlightenment and enlightenment. Before enlightenment, we chop
would carry water. After enlightenment, we chop would carry water.
So the activity doesn't change, it's just the consciousness and
the awareness with which we engage in the activity transforms
(26:24):
incredibly so in terms of for you out there listening
and thinking that tantra takes a lot of time. When
you're first training in tantra, it will feel like that
or it can feel like that. But this is also
the importance of having a coach, because we do this,
we live this, we breathe this. There's not a moment
of a day that goes by that I'm not practicing tantra.
(26:45):
There is literally not a moment. Every break breath I
take is part of my tantra yoga practice. But that
took that was a process to arrive at that space,
and so having a guide and a coach who can
walk you through that process and support you as an
individual well in plugging in your tntry yoga practice so
that it becomes a rhythm, it becomes a practice. And
(27:06):
just like Karen said, it's like going to the gym,
or going to the doctor, or going to the dentist.
It's something that we have to choose to prioritize for
our well being. And I think that's one of the
greatest tragedies of the way that tantra has maybe been
presented in the Western culture, is this extra luxury when
actually it's a wellness practice. It is a holistic wellness
(27:27):
practice that is the birthright of every human being on
this planet. You have a right to know how to heal, balance,
and enrich your energy body every single day. That is
your birthright. So tantra is not a luxury. It is
literally a wellness practice.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
And once you learn, once you go through those practices.
Like I had two kids and one of my child's
best friends living in the house. Actually, while I was
doing the training, I would just say, like, you do
have to change your communication. I would say to them, guys,
I got to go masturbate. That's part of my contrac training.
So everybody know, but Smere plugs in because this is
what I'm doing for the next hour, right, And I
(28:03):
have done non sexual tantra with my whole family and
most of my friends.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, right, and my stepfather.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Who's very sick. I've sat and we've done non sexual
contric practices. My kids for sure, and we've done a
lot of and they utilize a lot of non sexual
TNTRA in their lives. Many of my friends and certainly
all my students. Every day I teach, whether they're coming
to meet for contra or not, we do non sexual
contric practices. So once you actually have it, like going
(28:29):
to the gym the beginning, you know, as you're building
that muscle.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
You're going to be in there.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
It's going to be harder work.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
And then once you get to that place where you're like, oh,
I know what I'm doing. I've built the muscle, then
the maintenance really comes into your life. You learn how
to blend it in your life, and it's beautiful. Like
as a mom with kids and maybe Lucia, I can
talk about this as well, You know, what a beautiful
gift for my children to have and to know and
to be able to talk openly about sexuality and also
(28:56):
to see this as non sexual and sexual like the
blending of both together in a non dualistic type of practice.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, yeah, very important. I love the element of practicing
with your family. We had just our embodiment retreat last September.
One of our students, will would be graduating student. She's
a grandma, and she was telling us how her little
grandbabies are running the elements from listening to their grandmama practice.
And now one of the grandchildren, the youngest one, is
teaching the other grandchildren how to do it correctly from
(29:27):
listening to their grandmama. So I'm like, this is how
lineages are past. I mean, that's just it's amazing. And
you had children. It's like they mimic and take their
modeling after what we the adults are doing in the environment.
So if word practicing medicine, it's setting them up in
a really positive and auspicious way. Did you want to
(29:49):
add something sequeta to having time to practice?
Speaker 8 (29:52):
Yeah, just I remember when I first started my training,
I thought, oh my god, three hours a week seemed
like a lot of time, and I was just bugrating myself.
I can't get it all in, And now it's like
I cannot not get it all in yeah, you know,
it's become so embodied that That's why I was, you know,
late this morning as I had to do my prostrations.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
It was like, you know, I could not not do it. Yeah,
so yeah, beautiful, beautiful, I love it. So go on, Lucia.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Oh, I was just gonna say an ad that. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (30:24):
For you know, for me, it's it was something that
I also struggled with in the beginning because you know,
I I have a large family. I have six you
know kids, uh, four of which live with me at home,
and my schedule is definitely very busy all.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
The time, and it's NonStop.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
And I guess I had a mindset going into it
with that I had to have a set schedule and
have a certain time every single day, you know, to
set aside time for this, and it wasn't working, you know.
And and because like a doctor's appointment or you go
to the gym, right, it's so easy for you to
(31:03):
make that appointment, right, And so with contra, it's a
different it's a it's a completely different lifestyle where I
learned how to go with the flow and it didn't
have to be a certain day or a certain time.
Speaker 5 (31:20):
And so now you know what I do is is
I will. I don't have a set time that I
do meditation.
Speaker 6 (31:27):
It's when I feel good to do it, for one,
when I want to, and whenever. Then I have some
free time. And there is some free time in my day,
regardless of how busy and crazy it ends up getting,
you know it, I can squeeze it in and if
for whatever reason it's it's not going to happen that day,
it's okay. I move on to the next day, you know.
(31:50):
And but I'm not beating myself up anymore bucks, you know.
And so it's it's just it's more relaxed, right And
now that I am a bit more relaxed about it,
I actually can see now where there's actually time, where before,
you know, there's this concept of time and people are always
so busy.
Speaker 5 (32:09):
But when you actually if you take a journal at
the end of the day and you.
Speaker 6 (32:12):
Actually write down and jot down what did you do
throughout the entire day, You're going to actually find that
there were moments that you did have time, you know,
but you're not seeing it because your mind is you know,
constantly going, you know.
Speaker 7 (32:27):
And so.
Speaker 6 (32:29):
The ocean breathing is what really helped me to bring
my calmness and relax in general. You know, no matter
what arises, I would say, the number one tool that
I use and that I use in the home is
the ocean breathing. You know, if my kids know, you know,
to encourage me to do the ocean breathing.
Speaker 9 (32:51):
If i'm you know, matter ain'try about something, a mom,
use some ocean breathings.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
I'm la is triggered right now.
Speaker 5 (33:10):
And it's funny too, because sometimes I'll be doing it
and my little seven year old he thinks it's cool.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
He'll come out and he'll he'll join me, you know,
and he'll just start making the sounds and it's it's
just so cool.
Speaker 5 (33:23):
You have to experience it. Yeah, and so.
Speaker 6 (33:28):
And the other thing you know that I tell encourage
others to act himself when they are interested in some
kind of a contric path is to really set your
intention and really look at yourself. Like Karen was mentioning,
is you know, what is your intention and what would
(33:50):
change your life if you've made yourself a priority, right,
and so ask yourself that, and you know then based
off of that, you know, then you're going to learn
to You're going to want to make the adjustments you know,
in your life.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
I love that, Yeah, And I mean that is so
so huge because it's like, ultimately the goal of tantra
is to alleviate suffering. So I mean, if you do practice,
like the reason to do the practice is to free
yourself from suffering, so to be happier, like I would.
There's all kinds of shit that I do during a day,
or that I will say mainstream America does in the
(34:28):
day that isn't to cultivate happiness and in fact cultivates
the opposite of happiness. So can you take ten, fifteen,
twenty minutes out of your day specifically to cultivate happiness
and joy? And that's kind of the thing. And I
know for me, you know with tantra, like tntra can
be broken down to ten breaths. Like it Again, we're
not talking about, oh you gotta you know, masturbate for
(34:50):
an hour starting out. No, that's not where you start.
Where you start is can I sit and follow ten breaths?
Can I sit and follow twenty one breaths? Can I do?
Can I visualize and breathe at the same time? So
we start small and we build from there, So what
you're able to do after three months of practice is
very different than your first three weeks of practice. That's
(35:10):
that's the thing. And I love what you described, Lucia,
about what you described about liberating yourself from the rigidity
of like, okay, six o'clock every day, I did dou
da da da da. That works for some people, and
I know for me because I was a dancer, that's
the way I trained. I was very It's like, okay,
you do twenty bar exercises, no five o'clock every day,
(35:32):
And so that worked at first, but after a period
of time when the yoga actually integrated in my consciousness,
now for me, that kind of rigidity doesn't work. Now
for me, I personally need more fluidity. But part of
that is because I'm wired to want to practice, and
so we also have to be mindful when you're starting
a new practice. It takes a while to wire that
(35:52):
into your brain like literally uneral pathways and to wire
it into your nervous system. So initially there may be
more of a sense of effort to get the practice in,
but once it's wired, then it becomes habit. That's the
thing we want to get to the point where a
tentry yoga practice's habit and we can just be walking
around the house or you know, going through a day
and be like, huh, I really want to self connect.
(36:14):
I think I'm gonna sit down and do some space
element meditation to connect with myself. Or wow, you know,
I'm having coffee and I'm really enjoying the view. I'm
going to do my pleasure journal, or wow, I've got
some time before bed, I want to do a little
OAP practice and stimulate some sexual pleasure in my life.
So it becomes second nature after period of time, and
in the initially it's going to take a little bit
of discipline. But again, we're doing things that are increasing
(36:38):
beneficial hormones in the body, anti aging. It's good for
your physical health, your mental health, your emotional health, your
spiritual health, and your sexual health. It's good for us
and you can generate that in twenty motherfucking minutes a day. Like, seriously,
you can do it. I have faith in you.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
You know what occurs to me, Like Lucia was saying,
if you look across your day, you're doing something with
your day, and the thing is like, so what we
are often doing is using tools that really aren't creating
what we want to create. So, like you're somebody did
(37:21):
something or said something, and so you're angry about it,
and you're ruminating about it, and so you spent like
twenty thirty minutes thinking about it, maybe talking to someone
you know, so and so did such and such, when
you could use the same amount of time and do
a water element meditation, you know, to help move that
anger and to bring you into a space where you
(37:43):
can see clearly, you know, see the whole situation, clearly,
your role in it. You know what the answer is
in that same twenty minutes, you know.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
And then I think about, you know, things like when people.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Are anxious about something, are they taking a half an
hour an hour and watching TV just so they can relax,
or eating something just so they can relax, when they
could use the same time or less time and do
some ocean breath or you know, do some breath work
to help to support their nervous system.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
So it's really used.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Everyone's using the time, but they're using it in a
way that is actually perpetuating their suffering as opposed to
relieving it exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
And that's because that's what this culture supports and offers.
So Tantra is giving you literally a new paradigm, is
giving us all tools to heal and to actually come
to authentic rest as opposed to dissociating like our culture
you know, encourages us to do.
Speaker 8 (38:42):
So.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah. Yeah, So Tantra does not have to take a
lot of time, is the point. And against small bites. Right,
You're not gonna eat the whole pie in one sitting
or you're gonna get sick. So but if you eat
a little bite one day and eat another bite the
next day, you get that deliciousness in your mouth without
the negative side effects. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:02):
And I just wanted to also just add, you know,
for me, I with the non sexual practices, I am
a lot more fluid about that and I just fit
it in whenever, right, But with the sexual contract practices,
I do schedule those because because my schedules can sometimes
(39:23):
be crazy, I want to make sure that I am
you know, setting aside some time for myself. Then I
do make time to put that into my schedule, like
an appointment, I'm going to step up a date for
myself so that I can give myself the attention that
I need and that I want and that I desire beautiful.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
I love how you differentiated that, Thank you, Lucia. Yeah,
because that is something that particularly sexuality, particularly because of
our cultural condition, it is something that can often be
brushed to the side and all I'll do it when
I feel like it, and many never feel like it.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
So having that plugged in, the sexual yoga plugged in
for consistency can be very, very supportive for people, and
that's what we often recommend for couples particularly. Yeah, yeah,
all right, So last question that looks like, because we've
had such a juicy and a riching conversation, we're getting
close to the end of our time here. Uh So
(40:15):
the next question is how can I stop wet dreams?
So there's a lot that comes up for me with this,
A lot of questions to be answered before I answer
that question. So, what are your guys' thoughts if someone
came to you and said, how can I stop wet dreams?
Where's your mind going to go? First?
Speaker 5 (40:32):
To?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Great question to get well, let's just say this person exactly.
That's that's a great first question because often the reason
that we would want to or someone would want to
stop wet dreams is shame, embarrassment, thinking that there's something
wrong sexual like ooh, i'm you know, I'm not. I
shouldn't be having this. It's dirty, it's gross, it's bad,
(41:04):
and I want my mom to know, or I don't
want my partner to know. So I get the first
thing I get is embarrassment, a shame. Is why people
would want to is they think that there's something wrong
or that it's dirty or they want to hide it.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
Yeah, yeah, I would agree it would be. So why
why are you wanting to stop this? Is there another issue?
Is there another underlying issue?
Speaker 5 (41:27):
Right?
Speaker 4 (41:27):
So aside from like, is there something physically like maybe
you have a wet dream and then you maybe you
can't perform that day.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
With your partner?
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:36):
Is there other factors to making you want to stop them?
Speaker 1 (41:41):
The wet dream?
Speaker 3 (41:41):
And yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:42):
What emotionally do you connect that having wet dreams with?
Does that mean lack of control?
Speaker 6 (41:48):
Right?
Speaker 5 (41:48):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (41:48):
What is it connected with?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah? What does it mean to you? And I know that?
So looking a little bit online, like, the believed cause
of wet dreams is an increase in in UH, an
increase in hormones testosterone UH usually connected or linked to
the increasing hormones that we go through in puberty. So
it's very common for teenage boys uh and in some
(42:10):
cases girls to have wet dreams as part of the
sexual naturation. And at the same time, I know that
that wet dreams have been a concern for some of
our male clients who practice semen retention. So particularly when
you're trying to retain your semen and not have the
emission uh, and you're working really hard to retainmen and
(42:34):
or doesn't from the jaculation, it can feel like a
betrayal when you wake up in the morning and your
body has ejaculated without your consent.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
What it means right for men who are semen retaining,
it's a fluctuation. Sometimes they need to ejaculate a little
bit more often a lot less. But when they're actually
in the process of semen retaining, it's not like you know,
I I only will you know ejaculate once a month
or once every six months. It does an ebb and flow,
(43:05):
and I would say your body ejaculating in the night
is your body is making a definitive answer as to
this is what I need right now?
Speaker 5 (43:13):
True?
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, particularly if it is linked to an increase in testosterone.
That's a really clear indication that your seemen retention practice
is working. That being said, there is this is addressed
in Tibetan medicine as a potential if it's if the
wet dreams are I guess excessive, which is kind of vague,
(43:34):
like what's successive to me is not necessarily excessive to you,
but maybe to the Tibetan doctor it would be considered excessive.
If it is excessive, it can be an indication of
a weakness in the downward avoiding winds. And so one
of the ways to end to do that would be
to do public floor exercises, power wind exercises and practices
to help strengthen the downward avoiding winds so that you're
(43:56):
able your winds are not going loose, shall we say,
in the middle of the night when you're sleeping kind
of thing. So you know, for me, when I hear this,
when I hear you know, how can I stop my dreams?
The first thing that comes up for me after why,
because that that right there, why do you want to
stop them? Is a huge, huge piece. But the next
(44:16):
question for me is, well, how old are you are?
You fifteen? Because that's a whole different conversation than if
you're fifty five, right there, So, so how old are you?
Why do you want to stop them? How old are you?
And then also how long has this been happening? Is
this like you know every single day? How often does
it happen? And then how often has it been happening?
(44:38):
Is it every single day for your entire life? Or
you know, has something shifted? Are you in a new
relationship or did you just go through a divorce or
like what's happening in your universe that may have triggered this?
And again is it happening every night? Is it happening
once a month? So what is the frequency of it happening?
So there's a lot to me, there's a lot of
(44:58):
a lot more questions to ask to diagnose, like what
the root cause is, well, your current sexual activity? Are
you practicing semen retention? And you're you haven't ejaculated in
six months? But I'm just like you might help me out,
I'm gonna do this myself, right, So, so is that
(45:19):
what's going on? Or are you ejaculating every day and
masturbating important and then still having emissions at night? Right?
And so we need a lot more information to answer
this question, to find to know if it's even a problem, because,
as Sequena said, maybe it's not a problem. Maybe it's
just our cultural conditioning that tells us if there's something
(45:41):
wrong with it. And actually the medicine for you is
to embrace it and celebrate it as opposed to trying
to get rid of it.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
I'd also want to know what actually is happening? So
how are you defining a wet dream? Say, is this
something that happens like after you've you know, been with
a partner and you're a fanticide about the partner or
dreaming about them and you're waking up.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
You know, with a wet spot, or like you know, you.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Don't even know what you're dreaming about, but are waking
up that way, or you're dreaming about something specific that
you know, you don't think that it should be connected
with something sexual, like and like I want to know,
like what what do you define as a wet dream
to begin with? So like what are what exactly are
you experiencing?
Speaker 5 (46:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (46:27):
I love that, And one thing I love about these
conversations is really modeling for all of you wonderful listeners,
how complex these sexuality issues are It's not like Cosmo
like one one size fits all and one answer fits all,
because we're so unique, and because sexuality is an expression
of our health and well being, and if there's an
issue in our sex, it could point to a deeper
(46:49):
issue with our health and well being on a number
of different levels. So there is no easy answer. And
I and I think, you know, I really want to
encourage you listeners, like you can get fun tips and
stuff for magazines and whatever, but those are not going
they're not medicine, and and they're not necessarily going to
address with any depth or sustainability and the issues that
(47:12):
you may be dealing with. And this is why again
you know, I'm not not you know, this isn't meant
to be an infomercial, but it just keeps coming home
to me how how really important it is to have
guidance and support in this area. Just like physically, you know,
if you're physical therapy, you're not just going to like,
you know, go go to a YouTube video on the
internet to figure out how to rehabilitate yourself after surgery
(47:33):
kind of thing, right, So similarly, with sexuality, we there
is a dearth of of of supportive, integrative, mindful education
about it in the world and so having people who
specialize this to walk you through and just you know,
give you like fucking peace of mind, dude, Like seriously,
so much of what we think is fucked up about
(47:55):
is you know, individually in the society about their sexuality
is actually really common and it can actually be you know, drill,
when we drill down into it can actually be a
simple fix. So for example, along those lines, I've had
Yoni owners female students that really wanted to have vagulal orgasms,
and through our conversation and just kind of like getting
(48:15):
some feedback from them about their sexual experience and what
they're doing with their breath during penetration and different the
position they're in. All that all we did was just
shift a few things. Open your mouth, relax and breathe
when you feel your pleasure instead of clamping down and
relax open your body, breathe, maybe change your position of
this and like in one session, they're having fucking vaginal orgasms.
If they couldn't have their entire life, So sometimes it's
(48:36):
a really simple fix. But if she didn't work with
me and I didn't have the expertise that they have.
She would have never gotten that from like a YouTube
video or a fucking Cosmo article, right, yeah, yeah, And.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
When I think about the Cosmo article, it's it's this
concept of one size fits all.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Yeah, exactly that that then I'll work, you know, try
that and that'll work for me. I mean, you know,
I'm going to a shoe store.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
You see the display shoe and you're like, Okay, I'll
take that one because you know it's probably not gonna fit.
It's not your size, you know, so you look for
your size shoe like one size does not fit all,
you know. So it's like I love that, Davy, you know,
just the idea that it's like, yeah, this is very individualized.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yeah. And the other thing I want to I want
to take up time to talk about because this is
our last show for the year, is I want to
talk about g spot vibrators, my friends, because this was
not on the schedule, but it's coming up now because
it's one of those things that pisses me right the
fuck off. So, your g spot is a rectile tissue
that needs to engorge. It is your urethral sponge. It's
(49:42):
spongy tissue that surrounds you. Your wreath run. It's part
of your rectile tissue bed, and during rectile tissue it
takes time to doing gorge. You're not going to put
your finger on the front all of your vagina after
walking out of a shower unless you've been, you know,
fantasizing a master beating in there and like have an
orgasm because you just touched your spot. That's not the
way it works. It's like a penis. It needs to
be in gorged and it responds to pressure pressurized friction.
(50:07):
So not vibrating your G spot does not respond to
vibrating until it's already in gorge. So I'm saying this
because I cannot tell you how many women women with
volves in vaginas being specific for you know, our non
binary people and trans people here, women with volves in vaginas,
I cannot tell you how many times they have thought
(50:29):
that their pussies were broken because they bought the best
new G spot vibrator and it didn't fucking work for them.
They didn't have a G spot orgas, And it's because
they were warmed up. It's because simply did not know
how the body works. Your G spot has to be
in gorged. For most people, I will say, your G
spot needs to already be in gorge for it to
respond to vibration. And it does not engorge through vibration alone.
(50:52):
It needs pressure and combine pressure in friction in order
to engorge. And so G spot vibrators, in my opinion,
are a of your motherfucking money. I'm just they are,
and until they're great to use his dildo's once you're
already engorged, but just trying to use a G spot
vibrator and thinking you're gonna have the best G spot
orgism of your life. I have yet to have one,
(51:13):
and I've been using that. I've been trying for thirteen
motherfucking years yet to have a client who uses a
G spot vibe successfully without education beforehand. So do you
guys have anything I want to add to that? I
just wanted to say that because it fucking pisses me
off so bad. Because vibrator. Yeah, I don't own a
spot vibrator.
Speaker 5 (51:33):
Yeah I don't either.
Speaker 10 (51:35):
Yeah, or a partner or whomever who's going to make
you squirt by you know, vibrating with their finger your G.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Spot when it's not engorged and nothing else has gone
on before, and it's like, oh, well then you must
be broken. Yes, you know, like I hear that from
women who've experienced that, and it's at the hands whether
they're practitioners or partners or whoever.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
They are, you know, just dive into.
Speaker 3 (52:05):
The g spot and you know, and then it's like, oh, well,
what's what's what's your issue?
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (52:11):
Wow, Yeah, it's so important to let people know that
Number one, Yes, sex is sold to us all the time.
A lot of what is being sold to us it's
not healthy. And then she not researched even whoa for
for yoni's Yeah right, it's not even looking at how
actually our physiology works. And every fucking woman is different,
(52:34):
every person with a yoni. So I'm going to go
back to general. So anybody with yoni, your yoni is
one hundred percent different. And that's the like being a
pant sexual person. Not to say that every lingamn or
isn't also different, but the particular physiology of yoni can be.
Speaker 5 (52:53):
Quite different from one yoni to another.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
Right, as a pant sexual person, when I have a
female lover, I'm a lot more like oh shit, when
I give a yoni massage. I'm a lot more like,
oh shit, I got.
Speaker 5 (53:03):
A lot of figuring out to do here.
Speaker 4 (53:05):
I have a lot of communication to do to find out.
Because one person may love their G spot being stimulated
and make it off on it. Another person is like,
don't touch me there, that's annoying.
Speaker 5 (53:13):
I hate it. Yeah, right, it is.
Speaker 4 (53:16):
And that's part of the beauty though, too, is the
time of communication and exploration and creating one thing like
a vibrator for the G spot makes no sense because
our bodies are not creative like that.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
And also, and I love that you brought that in well,
that in Rosie, because also our sexuality is not static.
And so you know, initially there were parts of my
own EI that I absolutely hated having stimulated. And now
I love or vice versus, because something shifted inside of me,
inside of my brain and my heart and you know,
my energy, body, my physiology. Something shifted. So our sexuality
(53:51):
is not static. And what worked for me ten years
ago is not the same thing that's going to work
for me today. So what worked for Jill, you know,
in her G spot massage for you know, Bob to
give her is not going to necessarily work for Jennifer. Right,
and that's the thing. H Yeah. I was gonna say
even from week to week.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Yeah, I mean our cycles, you know, depending on where
you are in your cycle, something can be like so
sensitive it's like whoa, okay no, and then at different
times in the cycle it's like yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Go there, you know.
Speaker 3 (54:21):
So I mean it's not even just ten years, it's
like ten days.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah exactly, thank you, thank you. Yeah. So g Spot vibrators, ladies,
if you you know, I would say, don't don't spend
two hundred dollars on one. It's not going to give
you the best orgasm of your life. It will sit
in your drawer most likely. If you want to try them,
you know, start with like a thirty dollars version first,
and don't feel like you're broken if you don't have
an orgasm from vibrating on your d spot when it
(54:48):
hasn't been in gorge for twenty thirty forty minutes already.
So my honey, wont my honeywon? Is my spot's best friend? Yeah?
The honey Dipper one? Yes, yeah, yeah, because ergonomic, I
call it that smart crowbar. Get you one today, ladies
dot com? All right, my friends, we are actually over
(55:12):
our time today, but that is okay. We so enjoyed
spending this time with you. Everyone. I'm gonna have you
do a round of who you are and where we
can find out more. Let's start with Lucia in the
upper right. Who are you and where can we find
out more? Oh?
Speaker 6 (55:24):
Yeah, you can simply google my name Lucia Vascaz and
all my social media's will pop up. Or you can
use my website which is embodied elements hyphen w P
dot com.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
Yay, all right, Rosiebits you can find.
Speaker 4 (55:38):
Me at rosybits dot com. And yeah, if you google me,
everything will pop up lots lots of many things, plus
lots of naked pictures.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
So google me. Well, I mean shit with that invitation,
Let's do it. Karen Craig, who are you? Where can
we find out more? Explore time for dot com.
Speaker 3 (55:56):
I'm also a time for master and certification instructor for
the Institute of Authentic Contra Education. If you find me
on the Authenticontra dot com website as well.
Speaker 1 (56:10):
All right, you have a similar bio. You can find
me at simply Tanto dot com.
Speaker 8 (56:17):
Also, I am a contre Mastery instructor at Authentic Contrast
Authentic tatre dot com.
Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yay, all right, everybody, So, as we said before, make
sure that you stay tuned. Also, I just want to
give a shout out. We are launching a tantr Healing
for Black Men program. I apologize for not putting that
out front when we first started the show. It starts
November second, so if you still have time to jump in,
please do. Even if it's a little bit late you're
listening to this episode a week later, that's okay. We
will still open the doors wide for you. All the
(56:45):
sessions will be recorded and uploaded to your online vault,
and you will have access to all of that material
for a year. So Tantra Healing for Black Men. Sign
up at Tantre Healing for black Men dot com quite frankly,
and stay connected to us at Authentic Tuntra dot com
all the time. Look forward to seeing you all in
twenty twenty two. Make sure you give us a shout
out in the meantime at Authentic Tuntra, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
(57:08):
Have a beautiful night, my friends. I won't be seeing
you next week. I'll be tremely next to er. Have
a good night. You've been listening to Sex's Medicine with
Davy Ward ericson your number one resource for holistic sex education.
You can listen to and subscribe to Sex's Medicine on Spotify, Stitcher,
(57:29):
tune In, iTunes, iHeartRadio, and YouTube. Just search Sex's Medicine
with Davy Ward. Stay connected with me and my guests
on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Authentic Contra and learn
how you can use tntra as medicine to heal, awaken,
and empower every area of your life at Authentic tontra
dot com. Make sure to tune in to Sex's Medicine
(57:52):
every Thursday at seven pm Pacific on Contact Talk Radio
Network and join our watch party every Thursday evening on
faceboo book ad Authentic ton Tram. We look forward to
you joining us next week for another episode of Sex
Is Medicine with Davey Woarne.
Welcome to Sex's Medicine, your number one resource for holistic
sex education. I'm Davey word Ericson, and I invite you
to join me every week for another enriching and powerful
conversation about the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, pleasure, and personal growth.
Each episode of Sex's Medicine is dedicated to awakening your
(00:23):
heart and mind to the true purpose and power of
human sexuality. Please join me on this journey of self
discovery as we explore the art of using pleasure as
medicine to awaken, heal, and empower every area of your life.
Sex's Medicine broadcasts every Thursday at seven pm Pacific on
(00:45):
Contact Talk Radio Networking. You can listen to the replay
and subscribe to Sex's Medicine on Spotify, Stitcher, tune in, iTunes, iHeartRadio,
and YouTube. And now get ready for another episode of
Sex Is Medicine. Hey, everybody, welcome to sex Is Medicine.
I am your host, Davy ward Ericson, here with you
(01:08):
once again for another delicious conversation we explore the intersection
of sexuality, spirituality, pleasure, and personal and growth. I want
to give a special shout out to all of my
sisters from a Sister's Leading Sisters retreat that I just
left last weekend. You can check out Sisters and Leading
Sisters dot com for info about the next retreat. But
(01:29):
I just wanted to give a shout out to all
my sisters there who may be listening and have been
listening and following me through all these years on Sexis Medicine.
It was an incredible pleasure and honor to meet you
and play with you in person. And I look forward
to next year, next time, yes, And then today I'm
just wanted to let you all know that this is
our last Sexist Medicine episode for twenty twenty one. This
(01:51):
is it, my friends. We're taking the winter off. We're
gonna rest and integrate and heal and cultivate new content
and cultivate all kinds of new amazing stuff to offer
through the Institute of Authentic Countra Education. So you want
to make sure that you are signed up for our
newsletter and signed up for our social media so that
you will not miss and they have the amazing content
(02:11):
that is going to be coming at you in twenty
twenty two. We have some incredible things on the horizon,
some wonderful programs for all of you, updating our certification
curriculum to even higher standards. So there's all kinds of
wonderful things coming down the pipeline from the Institute. I
want to make sure that you stay connected and you
don't miss a single yummy drop, So make sure you
sign up for all of our free offerings at authentic
(02:33):
tonture dot com. We have so many free stuff for you,
and then make sure you stay connected to us on
social media at Authentic Contra woohoo. And then of course all.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Of my wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, incredible guest speakers that we
have online with us this evening, our crew of sexologists
to answer your questions.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
It's been so fun answering your questions as best. You're
now look forward to much much more. In my upper
right hand corner, of course, we have Lucia Basquez. To
my upper left we have the lovely Rosy Bits. To
my lower left we have the exquisite Karen Craig, and
to my lower right we have the stunning and regal
Sequita Whitfield, who also is at my house. You may
(03:18):
recognize her view from previous episodes. Yay awesome. So we
have some awesome questions to answer for you, our wonderful
audience this afternoon that you have been sending to us
individually and collectively. So we're going to start from the
top and work our way down. So our first question
(03:40):
is da drum roll please? What do you do when
someone is having issues keeping their erection and they are
very new to you? So I think that many of
us YONI owners and lngham owners listening can probably relate
to having issues keeping their erection, particularly with new partners.
(04:01):
And this question is specifically from a sex worker asking
about working with clients, but I thought it would be
wonderful to answer it both ways. Both from the sex
worker perspective, because we love and support our brothers and
sisters and siblings who are sex workers doing important work
in the world. But then also for your average everyday
person who may be struggling with maintaining an erection in
(04:24):
new circumstances, What is the cause of that and the
lies that occurring and what can we do in the moment?
So who wants to be the first to take take
a crack at this? What do we do when we're
struggling with an erection? In a new, new situation. How
can we support our partners with fluctuations and erection? What
are your guys' thoughts?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I would probably approach it from potentially an anxiety standpoint,
so you know, like there's no reason that you have
to dive in at that moment, Like you can pull
back and you know, do some breathing together, do some
ocean breath together, and you know, maybe some conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Around like what what are they feeling?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
What are they experiencing, so you know, maybe it maybe
it is performance anxiety, you know, and having some uh
some some conversation around that.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
So you're really creating a safe space for.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Them because as women, as Yoni owners, we tend to
think of men as you know, always just like ready
to go and you know, and we're like, so, what's
your problem? You know, And so that's not really safe
space for a man because they they are always you know,
just ready to go, and they do have things that
they've brought from other experiences and all of that and
(05:47):
wondering how they're going to perform and if they've you know,
a part of porn culture, which so many people are because.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
That's what the culture is.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
You know that sense of like, am I going to
be able to make or squirt across the room, because
of course that's what you know, poor and Chile's this
is supposed to happen, So you know, I think I
would kind of start from that perspective.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Beautiful, I love that. I love that, so checking in,
approaching it as an opportunity to check in and find
out what might be going on emotionally psychologically for our partner.
Who else I'd like to add to.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
That, I would say checking in and also redirecting, like
as Karen was saying, you don't have to focus, you
can kind of you can let your partner know, hey,
this is totally okay, no big deal. It's okay if
your erection comes back, it's okay if it doesn't come back.
There's many different ways that we can pleasure each other.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
And I am.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Open to pleasuring you with a soft cock if that's
what's going to happen. As long as you're having pleasure,
let's keep going. And I'm having pleasure. And I would
say from a sex worker perspective, like, actually, this this
question came up when I was doing a workshop with
a number of sex workers and they had great ideas,
like you know, they're working in the field, they're working
(07:03):
with these libs all the time and doing deep healing,
and some of them were saying, you know, sometimes all
it takes is just like let's take a breath, let's
get a glass of water, let's just sit and cuddle
for a minute, and like connecting from a heart to
heart basis so that person can get back in their
body and allow their arousal to build. But I would say,
(07:24):
in partnership or somebody, maybe you're having casual sex, just
taking that time to be like, hey, we can have
so much fun with or without your erection.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And I love that, Rosie. I love this re reframing
or re I don't know, busting the complete paradigm that
a hard cock is required for sexual pleasure between you know,
lingomowners and Yoni owners. Lingomowners and lingomo owners like the
hard cock. It is not required. They're wonderful and we
(07:55):
love them. But pleasuring soft cocks, like that's like a
whole new thing. And I think that there's like so
much shame right as you spoke about with our cultural
conditioning and porn culture. They're so shame about having a
soft penis as a lingam owner, as a man, and
this expectation, like Karen was saying that you're just supposed
to be hard. If you're around, you're supposed to be hard.
(08:16):
And if you're not hard, then what's wrong with you?
You must be broken. But embracing the soft cock, like,
I just think that that must be so medicinal and
so healing for all of us.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Well, and I think a lot of Yoni owners don't
even know that soft cocks can receive a lot of
erotic pleasure. But just because that cock is soft doesn't
mean that things are not feeling really good and juicy. Yeah,
someone can actually even orgasm without an erection.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Yeah right, that's.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Something that was new to me. And I was like,
what I thought, without the erection, you just weren't having
any fun.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, And certainly having in gorged direct talitation can increase
in heightened sensitivity, but for some people that's not necessarily required.
And yeah, I do. I just love this whole like
reframe that that just like soft cock love soft hashtag
soft cock love. Lucie, what are your thoughts? Is this
something that you you run into in your practice because
(09:13):
you do do.
Speaker 6 (09:14):
Have yeah, yeah, no, yeah, it is I was gonna say,
you know that I definitely agree with what Karen and
Rosie were saying. And I come across this a lot
of times because I do work with those who are
hit a new client.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
It's you know, they're brand new and stuff.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
Never I don't know what the circumstances are, you know,
if they have any concerns or issues.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Sometimes they will come out forward and say so.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
Sometimes they don't, you know, and and it's not even
really necessarily an issue. But what I do see happen
is a lot of times, which is why the breathing
is so important. Is they are or they're going through
that process of reaching orgasm. They are breathing very very
(10:06):
at a high heart case, right, and so the breathing
is really encouraged to you know, to get them to
relax more.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Right. And then also what I do is all massage around.
Speaker 6 (10:19):
The in between the perineum and around the the aner
thighs and right below the scrotum just because there's it
also helps with with relaxing with the your vagus nerve
along with the breathing, because those nerves are heating in
(10:40):
those areas and so a lot of times it's it's
just stuck energy that needs to get moved.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
It's the same thing in the performance anxiety.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
And again with that the heart rate, you know, beating
with the breath excuse me, with the breath work.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
It's getting them to relax a bit more here.
Speaker 6 (10:57):
And and so I've definitely.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Just show compassion, right, be kind.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Sometimes there are those that they take it really hard,
and so sometimes they'll use their words and they'll say,
I'm sorry, I'm don't know why I'm not functioning properly today,
you know, And so I'll I'll just let them know,
you know, hey, it's okay. You know, we're just gonna
take it a little bit slower. I'm going to have
you do some deep breathing. And then there's different techniques
(11:28):
or motions that you can massage and use, and it's
not like this rush hurry process, right, and so it's
a little bit you're taking your time, right, And so
I do specialize particularly in those kinds of and it's
on my website you know that that it's it's it's
that ending port where which which is considered a linga
(11:48):
massage is going to take some time.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
So it's not.
Speaker 6 (11:53):
Something that's you know, if it's going to be just
a quick couple of minutes, then I'll you know, you're
not gonna it's not enough time to be even you know,
become a wreck for someone others. It's it is, but
that's kind of you know, the approach that I that
I take. And I also then refer them, you know
to if they want to, if they have concerns they
(12:13):
would like to work on, then I refer them, you know,
to their coaching services, you know, and so and so
I get, you know, a variety of those that are
coming in brand new and just kind of being curious,
and then something like this comes up, and then again
you explain the idea, this idea of you know, a
soft penis, and you know, and and I don't think
(12:35):
that I really think that it comes down to just
not knowing that.
Speaker 5 (12:42):
You could.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
Actually there's just sometimes that there's there's softer skin, and
especially with those who like are maybe above the age
of fifty fifty five ish. As what I've seen is
is the ones that are above that age, as we age,
(13:03):
what I've seen is a lot more sometimes there could
be more excess skin, right, so we wrinkle over time, right,
our skin it's naturally in our body is going to
wrinkle over time, and so sometimes there is a little
bit more excess skin, so it's softer and you still
become erect. You can still become erect, and you may
not feel it as hard as you might who somebody
(13:24):
who is you know, maybe in their in their twenties.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yes, So the strength of the yeah.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
So the strength and also the the tissue that you're feeling,
you know, for especially also for those who are some
circumcised versus uncircumcised, there's going to be additional skin on
some and some of them don't have it, and so
the feeling of it, you will feel that some are
quite squeeche here right than others.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
And that's perfectly normal.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
I you know, if somebody is coming to me and
they're saying, you know, oh, I'm so you know, I
don't know what's going on today, and I'll say, oh, no,
don't you know, it's okay, this is quite normal.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
There's nothing wrong with you.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
And other times there's people that come in and they
don't say anything, you know, but you can tell that
they are worried, right, and so again taking them back
to the breath work, you know and having them doing
the deep breath breathing and then doing massage around the
pelvic areas to kind of get them to relax into it.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And I love that you gave some I love the
methods that you gave to help support support that process.
And I just want to carve out here why the
breath is so important because it was a revelation for
me to when I learned that the parasympathetic nervous system
governs the governs erection, it governs the erectile response. The
(14:49):
parasympathetic nervous system is about resting because when we feel safe, right,
when we feel safe and rested, and so it makes
so much sense when we're in the performance anxiety. Erectile
fluctuations make so much sense because if I'm anxious, I'm
not in my parasympathetic response. I don't feel safe, I
feel anxious, I feel afraid. I'm in that fight or
(15:10):
flight response, and so my nervous system actually is not
able to support the erection because it's getting ready to
flee or throw down fight somebody, right, And so this
also makes a lot of sense when it comes to
just like you know, it may not even be performance anxiety.
But for a man, if he's just had a really
stressful day, right and he's in his head thinking about
(15:32):
stuff and chewing on the day, he's not going to
be able to get his erection may fluctuate or he
may not be able to get an erection because he's stressed.
So stress is a boner killer really important for us
to be aware of. And so that's why the breath
practices that you all are describing are so important, because
our breath regulates our autonomic nervous system, and if we
are in a fight or flight response, we can use
(15:53):
our breath to soothe and calm the nervous system and
come back to that relaxed balance that is required for
not direction, but for full sexual activity. So I just
wanted to dig down into that. Any thoughts that you
want to add, Sequina in terms of what to do
in the moment if our partner is fluctuating with an
erection and can't can't stabilize.
Speaker 7 (16:14):
It, I wholeheartly agree with Rosie and Lucy and Karen,
and I would add to praise their lingam because men
are not off I call it linam worship.
Speaker 8 (16:26):
You know, a lot of times the linom is supposed
to be functional and not adored. And you know, the
yoni is always adored and it's so beautiful, but the
linam doesn't get that kind of attention. And so when
I give them that kind of attention, they totally relaxed
and then they feel safe and emotions come up because
they've never had that kind.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Of attention given to them their linum. So I would
offer that I love that piece. The words of appreciation
using words as medicine. That's tauntric speech, So using our
tondric speech to bring praise and adoration and worship. And
it's particularly when the linum is soft, right, giving giving
praise and worship to the lingam when itself because you're
so right, it's like it's there's a demand. That's the
(17:06):
only purpose of the cock is to pound pussy, that is,
you know, the purpose of the cock, at least in
foreign culture. So to be able to just offer to
honor the linam and all of its iterations and the
door of the lingam when it isn't performing, I love
that piece. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (17:26):
I just also wanted to add to in my own
personal experience too, when it came to uh comes to
just relationships in general and intercourse is you know, I
when I have encountered that happening before, is that I
just go and I I give attention to other parts
of the body, right, so oral right, oral kissing all
(17:48):
over the body, you know, giving uh, you know, oral
sex and and and uh that usually you know, really
works and just spending the time. They're like, how Sequita
is saying, you know, we're should being the cock right
and and I was just going to add for going
back to the sex workers, is a lot of times
(18:12):
there's a huge difference of being present in the moment.
And when you come in sometimes a lot of the
clients they want to talk about how their day went.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
They want to you know, and they're talking throughout the
whole entire.
Speaker 6 (18:26):
Session, and then you get to this part and I've
seen that happen where they're not able to really connect
there because they weren't really filling into the moment. And
so one of the things that I do is we
talked for the first few minutes of the session, and
(18:46):
then I encourage them to kind of just rest, relax, breathe,
and be present in the moment, because this is about experiencing, exploring,
pleasure and hitting the different areas of the body that
are going to be awoken. And in order to do that,
you know that you need to be present in the moment.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Yes, I just wanted to add that this very beautiful.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Well, thank you for that piece. Thank you for that piece.
It's all you know, it all ultimately boils down to
nervous system regulation. That's like the key to life.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
You I just wanted to piggyback on what everyone else
has said, Like I love the conversation because it's focusing
on a man, focusing on a lingam owner as a
whole person, as opposed to like, as women, we think
about being objectified and there's a lot of conversation around that,
but it's really objectification of men of lingam owners when
(19:44):
the sole focus around their sexuality and sexual performance and
even just their personhood is around their penis like one
organ and the organ in one state, you know, in
an erect state.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
So you know, I love.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
What the other panelists have said, you know that really like.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
This is this is a person, a whole person, and.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
We're focusing on them as real people and not just
like a sum of their parts.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, exactly, Yeah, beautiful beautiful. Yeah. And then then just
one more thing that occurred to me, Lucia, is I
just want to celebrate the fact that you said oral
and then you brought her attention to kissing the whole
body as part of oral. I love that. Again, that
reframe that oral isn't just all I'm going to put
the penis in my mouth or al is kissing the
(20:32):
whole body. Oral sex is my lips kissing every inch
of you. I love that. So thank you for that reframe, Lucia.
All right. Question two is from a This is came
through Lucia. I have a strong interest in wanting to
learn more about tantra, but my schedule is so very busy.
(20:54):
How can I benefit from learning more if I don't
have a lot of time? Well, that all the times
of a style of talture you want to practice, my friend.
So what are your thoughts on this when when someone says,
and this is common, you know, because there's misconceptions about
what tontra is and isn't. But that is a thing
(21:15):
that people say, Oh, well, tntra, I'd love to do,
but I don't have time. It takes too much time.
So what are your thoughts on that you, guys.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I would say, yes, if you want to die deeply
into authentic lineage based contra, it's gonna take some time.
It's gonna take some commitments, like anything else you're going
to do in your life, like working out or any
other self care or any other learning. So yes, absolutely,
But there are many gentle paths like I start to
learn about different types of tantra when my kids were little, right,
(21:47):
my life was very busy, very full. I didn't have
a partner who was interested in it. So you have
a book by your bed that you read a little
bit every night. These days, there is so much good, like, yeah,
let's Davey say there's two hundred and twenty episodes of
sexist medicine that you could start listening to driving in
your car, put on a podcast, you know, make a choice,
(22:10):
probably narrow it down to, like, what do you want
to learn in contra specifically, and then you can get books,
you can get podcasts, you can follow people, you can
ask questions. You know, you can definitely do the drip
feed of TNTRA.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, thank you, Rosie, Thank you so so exploring some
intellectual study of tontra before even needing to engage in
the yoga of TNTRA. Yeah, anyone else, what are your thoughts?
Speaker 8 (22:40):
Yeah, I mean like, oh, go ahead, Karen, go ahead, goods.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
As Rosie was saying, just the And it doesn't have
to bet just intellectual, because it's it's really weaving it
into your current life, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
So that's what the yoga is.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
It's like, if you know, we're doing yoga, it has
to be we're doing yoga in the context of our life, like.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Not something that we just go somewhere and try to
find some time for.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
And the concept of time is really what you're prioritizing,
because time, you know, there's just there're twenty four hours
in our day, and so a lot of it's how
are we prioritizing it. So if we're prioritizing it around
our well being so that we can give to our children,
give to our spouses, give to our job, like we
(23:29):
have to be whole and healthy. And if we're understanding
contra and authentic contra is a healing modality, it is somatic.
So it's it's not just about you know, having three hours.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Of sex, you know. I mean that you know can
be part of it.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
But I mean the focus is really on moving those
blocks so that.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
We really can be full, whole, integrated people.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
So I mean, I'm looking at it more from a
perspective of like what's important to you? You know, are
are you important to you? And if you're important to you,
then then the time the time opens up for you.
You know, it's just like when did the gym or
anything else that you want to want to do to
support your well being?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Thank you so much for that, Karen. And I'm going
to jump in here because that falls into when I
was first starting my training back in Kawaii and I
was in the dharma class with Lamatashi and one of
the students asked, you know, what where do we fit tntra?
Like are you know, we're busy, our lives are busy.
I feel overwhelmed, like where where how are we supposed
to work and do tantra and do all the other stuff.
(24:36):
And when Lamatashi said, this, tantra fits into your leisure time.
So if we think of work, you know, for that's
like eight hours a day maybe, you know, depending on
you know, granted, if you've got three jobs, it's going
to consume a lot more, but the general kind of
middle class American rule of thumb is you go to
work nine to five, right, So that leaves quite a
(24:58):
bit of time in your life life for leisure. And
so exactly what you're saying, Karen is what is taking
a cold hard look at what is it that we're prioritizing.
But also when it comes to tantra, there's sexual tntra
and there's non sexual contra. And when you're learning lineage
based contra, it's going to be presented in a way
(25:20):
that's holistic. So there's going to be TNTRA practices, non
sexual countra practices that you can do in your fucking car.
Like seriously, I have so many students that do work
nine to fives and they at their lunch break, they
go out to their car and they meditate, they get
their contra, they get their non sexual contra practice in,
or they go to a quiet room and they journal
(25:41):
and they do NVC, or they do some ocean breath
to relax. So when you're practicing authentic lineage based tntra,
there are there are so many methods, so many tantra
yoga practices that should be woven into your everyday activities
because tantra is about how we have a better life,
how we cope with stress, how we regulate our nervous
(26:03):
systems in the face of, like, you know, the world
that we live in, and truly, at the heart of
authentic tntra, it's enlightenment and enlightenment. Before enlightenment, we chop
would carry water. After enlightenment, we chop would carry water.
So the activity doesn't change, it's just the consciousness and
the awareness with which we engage in the activity transforms
(26:24):
incredibly so in terms of for you out there listening
and thinking that tantra takes a lot of time. When
you're first training in tantra, it will feel like that
or it can feel like that. But this is also
the importance of having a coach, because we do this,
we live this, we breathe this. There's not a moment
of a day that goes by that I'm not practicing tantra.
(26:45):
There is literally not a moment. Every break breath I
take is part of my tantra yoga practice. But that
took that was a process to arrive at that space,
and so having a guide and a coach who can
walk you through that process and support you as an
individual well in plugging in your tntry yoga practice so
that it becomes a rhythm, it becomes a practice. And
(27:06):
just like Karen said, it's like going to the gym,
or going to the doctor, or going to the dentist.
It's something that we have to choose to prioritize for
our well being. And I think that's one of the
greatest tragedies of the way that tantra has maybe been
presented in the Western culture, is this extra luxury when
actually it's a wellness practice. It is a holistic wellness
(27:27):
practice that is the birthright of every human being on
this planet. You have a right to know how to heal, balance,
and enrich your energy body every single day. That is
your birthright. So tantra is not a luxury. It is
literally a wellness practice.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
And once you learn, once you go through those practices.
Like I had two kids and one of my child's
best friends living in the house. Actually, while I was
doing the training, I would just say, like, you do
have to change your communication. I would say to them, guys,
I got to go masturbate. That's part of my contrac training.
So everybody know, but Smere plugs in because this is
what I'm doing for the next hour, right, And I
(28:03):
have done non sexual tantra with my whole family and
most of my friends.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Yeah, right, and my stepfather.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Who's very sick. I've sat and we've done non sexual
contric practices. My kids for sure, and we've done a
lot of and they utilize a lot of non sexual
TNTRA in their lives. Many of my friends and certainly
all my students. Every day I teach, whether they're coming
to meet for contra or not, we do non sexual
contric practices. So once you actually have it, like going
(28:29):
to the gym the beginning, you know, as you're building
that muscle.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
You're going to be in there.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
It's going to be harder work.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
And then once you get to that place where you're like, oh,
I know what I'm doing. I've built the muscle, then
the maintenance really comes into your life. You learn how
to blend it in your life, and it's beautiful. Like
as a mom with kids and maybe Lucia, I can
talk about this as well, You know, what a beautiful
gift for my children to have and to know and
to be able to talk openly about sexuality and also
(28:56):
to see this as non sexual and sexual like the
blending of both together in a non dualistic type of practice.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, yeah, very important. I love the element of practicing
with your family. We had just our embodiment retreat last September.
One of our students, will would be graduating student. She's
a grandma, and she was telling us how her little
grandbabies are running the elements from listening to their grandmama practice.
And now one of the grandchildren, the youngest one, is
teaching the other grandchildren how to do it correctly from
(29:27):
listening to their grandmama. So I'm like, this is how
lineages are past. I mean, that's just it's amazing. And
you had children. It's like they mimic and take their
modeling after what we the adults are doing in the environment.
So if word practicing medicine, it's setting them up in
a really positive and auspicious way. Did you want to
(29:49):
add something sequeta to having time to practice?
Speaker 8 (29:52):
Yeah, just I remember when I first started my training,
I thought, oh my god, three hours a week seemed
like a lot of time, and I was just bugrating myself.
I can't get it all in, And now it's like
I cannot not get it all in yeah, you know,
it's become so embodied that That's why I was, you know,
late this morning as I had to do my prostrations.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
It was like, you know, I could not not do it. Yeah,
so yeah, beautiful, beautiful, I love it. So go on, Lucia.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
Oh, I was just gonna say an ad that. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (30:24):
For you know, for me, it's it was something that
I also struggled with in the beginning because you know,
I I have a large family. I have six you
know kids, uh, four of which live with me at home,
and my schedule is definitely very busy all.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
The time, and it's NonStop.
Speaker 6 (30:42):
And I guess I had a mindset going into it
with that I had to have a set schedule and
have a certain time every single day, you know, to
set aside time for this, and it wasn't working, you know.
And and because like a doctor's appointment or you go
to the gym, right, it's so easy for you to
(31:03):
make that appointment, right, And so with contra, it's a
different it's a it's a completely different lifestyle where I
learned how to go with the flow and it didn't
have to be a certain day or a certain time.
Speaker 5 (31:20):
And so now you know what I do is is
I will. I don't have a set time that I
do meditation.
Speaker 6 (31:27):
It's when I feel good to do it, for one,
when I want to, and whenever. Then I have some
free time. And there is some free time in my day,
regardless of how busy and crazy it ends up getting,
you know it, I can squeeze it in and if
for whatever reason it's it's not going to happen that day,
it's okay. I move on to the next day, you know.
(31:50):
And but I'm not beating myself up anymore bucks, you know.
And so it's it's just it's more relaxed, right And
now that I am a bit more relaxed about it,
I actually can see now where there's actually time, where before,
you know, there's this concept of time and people are always
so busy.
Speaker 5 (32:09):
But when you actually if you take a journal at
the end of the day and you.
Speaker 6 (32:12):
Actually write down and jot down what did you do
throughout the entire day, You're going to actually find that
there were moments that you did have time, you know,
but you're not seeing it because your mind is you know,
constantly going, you know.
Speaker 7 (32:27):
And so.
Speaker 6 (32:29):
The ocean breathing is what really helped me to bring
my calmness and relax in general. You know, no matter
what arises, I would say, the number one tool that
I use and that I use in the home is
the ocean breathing. You know, if my kids know, you know,
to encourage me to do the ocean breathing.
Speaker 9 (32:51):
If i'm you know, matter ain'try about something, a mom,
use some ocean breathings.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
I'm la is triggered right now.
Speaker 5 (33:10):
And it's funny too, because sometimes I'll be doing it
and my little seven year old he thinks it's cool.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
He'll come out and he'll he'll join me, you know,
and he'll just start making the sounds and it's it's
just so cool.
Speaker 5 (33:23):
You have to experience it. Yeah, and so.
Speaker 6 (33:28):
And the other thing you know that I tell encourage
others to act himself when they are interested in some
kind of a contric path is to really set your
intention and really look at yourself. Like Karen was mentioning,
is you know, what is your intention and what would
(33:50):
change your life if you've made yourself a priority, right,
and so ask yourself that, and you know then based
off of that, you know, then you're going to learn
to You're going to want to make the adjustments you know,
in your life.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
I love that, Yeah, And I mean that is so
so huge because it's like, ultimately the goal of tantra
is to alleviate suffering. So I mean, if you do practice,
like the reason to do the practice is to free
yourself from suffering, so to be happier, like I would.
There's all kinds of shit that I do during a day,
or that I will say mainstream America does in the
(34:28):
day that isn't to cultivate happiness and in fact cultivates
the opposite of happiness. So can you take ten, fifteen,
twenty minutes out of your day specifically to cultivate happiness
and joy? And that's kind of the thing. And I
know for me, you know with tantra, like tntra can
be broken down to ten breaths. Like it Again, we're
not talking about, oh you gotta you know, masturbate for
(34:50):
an hour starting out. No, that's not where you start.
Where you start is can I sit and follow ten breaths?
Can I sit and follow twenty one breaths? Can I do?
Can I visualize and breathe at the same time? So
we start small and we build from there, So what
you're able to do after three months of practice is
very different than your first three weeks of practice. That's
(35:10):
that's the thing. And I love what you described, Lucia,
about what you described about liberating yourself from the rigidity
of like, okay, six o'clock every day, I did dou
da da da da. That works for some people, and
I know for me because I was a dancer, that's
the way I trained. I was very It's like, okay,
you do twenty bar exercises, no five o'clock every day,
(35:32):
And so that worked at first, but after a period
of time when the yoga actually integrated in my consciousness,
now for me, that kind of rigidity doesn't work. Now
for me, I personally need more fluidity. But part of
that is because I'm wired to want to practice, and
so we also have to be mindful when you're starting
a new practice. It takes a while to wire that
(35:52):
into your brain like literally uneral pathways and to wire
it into your nervous system. So initially there may be
more of a sense of effort to get the practice in,
but once it's wired, then it becomes habit. That's the
thing we want to get to the point where a
tentry yoga practice's habit and we can just be walking
around the house or you know, going through a day
and be like, huh, I really want to self connect.
(36:14):
I think I'm gonna sit down and do some space
element meditation to connect with myself. Or wow, you know,
I'm having coffee and I'm really enjoying the view. I'm
going to do my pleasure journal, or wow, I've got
some time before bed, I want to do a little
OAP practice and stimulate some sexual pleasure in my life.
So it becomes second nature after period of time, and
in the initially it's going to take a little bit
of discipline. But again, we're doing things that are increasing
(36:38):
beneficial hormones in the body, anti aging. It's good for
your physical health, your mental health, your emotional health, your
spiritual health, and your sexual health. It's good for us
and you can generate that in twenty motherfucking minutes a day. Like, seriously,
you can do it. I have faith in you.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
You know what occurs to me, Like Lucia was saying,
if you look across your day, you're doing something with
your day, and the thing is like, so what we
are often doing is using tools that really aren't creating
what we want to create. So, like you're somebody did
(37:21):
something or said something, and so you're angry about it,
and you're ruminating about it, and so you spent like
twenty thirty minutes thinking about it, maybe talking to someone
you know, so and so did such and such, when
you could use the same amount of time and do
a water element meditation, you know, to help move that
anger and to bring you into a space where you
(37:43):
can see clearly, you know, see the whole situation, clearly,
your role in it. You know what the answer is
in that same twenty minutes, you know.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
And then I think about, you know, things like when people.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Are anxious about something, are they taking a half an
hour an hour and watching TV just so they can relax,
or eating something just so they can relax, when they
could use the same time or less time and do
some ocean breath or you know, do some breath work
to help to support their nervous system.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
So it's really used.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Everyone's using the time, but they're using it in a
way that is actually perpetuating their suffering as opposed to
relieving it exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
And that's because that's what this culture supports and offers.
So Tantra is giving you literally a new paradigm, is
giving us all tools to heal and to actually come
to authentic rest as opposed to dissociating like our culture
you know, encourages us to do.
Speaker 8 (38:42):
So.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah. Yeah, So Tantra does not have to take a
lot of time, is the point. And against small bites. Right,
You're not gonna eat the whole pie in one sitting
or you're gonna get sick. So but if you eat
a little bite one day and eat another bite the
next day, you get that deliciousness in your mouth without
the negative side effects. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:02):
And I just wanted to also just add, you know,
for me, I with the non sexual practices, I am
a lot more fluid about that and I just fit
it in whenever, right, But with the sexual contract practices,
I do schedule those because because my schedules can sometimes
(39:23):
be crazy, I want to make sure that I am
you know, setting aside some time for myself. Then I
do make time to put that into my schedule, like
an appointment, I'm going to step up a date for
myself so that I can give myself the attention that
I need and that I want and that I desire beautiful.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
I love how you differentiated that, Thank you, Lucia. Yeah,
because that is something that particularly sexuality, particularly because of
our cultural condition, it is something that can often be
brushed to the side and all I'll do it when
I feel like it, and many never feel like it.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
So having that plugged in, the sexual yoga plugged in
for consistency can be very, very supportive for people, and
that's what we often recommend for couples particularly. Yeah, yeah,
all right, So last question that looks like, because we've
had such a juicy and a riching conversation, we're getting
close to the end of our time here. Uh So
(40:15):
the next question is how can I stop wet dreams?
So there's a lot that comes up for me with this,
A lot of questions to be answered before I answer
that question. So, what are your guys' thoughts if someone
came to you and said, how can I stop wet dreams?
Where's your mind going to go? First?
Speaker 5 (40:32):
To?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Great question to get well, let's just say this person exactly.
That's that's a great first question because often the reason
that we would want to or someone would want to
stop wet dreams is shame, embarrassment, thinking that there's something
wrong sexual like ooh, i'm you know, I'm not. I
shouldn't be having this. It's dirty, it's gross, it's bad,
(41:04):
and I want my mom to know, or I don't
want my partner to know. So I get the first
thing I get is embarrassment, a shame. Is why people
would want to is they think that there's something wrong
or that it's dirty or they want to hide it.
Speaker 4 (41:15):
Yeah, yeah, I would agree it would be. So why
why are you wanting to stop this? Is there another issue?
Is there another underlying issue?
Speaker 5 (41:27):
Right?
Speaker 4 (41:27):
So aside from like, is there something physically like maybe
you have a wet dream and then you maybe you
can't perform that day.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
With your partner?
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:36):
Is there other factors to making you want to stop them?
Speaker 1 (41:41):
The wet dream?
Speaker 3 (41:41):
And yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:42):
What emotionally do you connect that having wet dreams with?
Does that mean lack of control?
Speaker 6 (41:48):
Right?
Speaker 5 (41:48):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (41:48):
What is it connected with?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah? What does it mean to you? And I know that?
So looking a little bit online, like, the believed cause
of wet dreams is an increase in in UH, an
increase in hormones testosterone UH usually connected or linked to
the increasing hormones that we go through in puberty. So
it's very common for teenage boys uh and in some
(42:10):
cases girls to have wet dreams as part of the
sexual naturation. And at the same time, I know that
that wet dreams have been a concern for some of
our male clients who practice semen retention. So particularly when
you're trying to retain your semen and not have the
emission uh, and you're working really hard to retainmen and
(42:34):
or doesn't from the jaculation, it can feel like a
betrayal when you wake up in the morning and your
body has ejaculated without your consent.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
What it means right for men who are semen retaining,
it's a fluctuation. Sometimes they need to ejaculate a little
bit more often a lot less. But when they're actually
in the process of semen retaining, it's not like you know,
I I only will you know ejaculate once a month
or once every six months. It does an ebb and flow,
(43:05):
and I would say your body ejaculating in the night
is your body is making a definitive answer as to
this is what I need right now?
Speaker 5 (43:13):
True?
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Yeah, particularly if it is linked to an increase in testosterone.
That's a really clear indication that your seemen retention practice
is working. That being said, there is this is addressed
in Tibetan medicine as a potential if it's if the
wet dreams are I guess excessive, which is kind of vague,
(43:34):
like what's successive to me is not necessarily excessive to you,
but maybe to the Tibetan doctor it would be considered excessive.
If it is excessive, it can be an indication of
a weakness in the downward avoiding winds. And so one
of the ways to end to do that would be
to do public floor exercises, power wind exercises and practices
to help strengthen the downward avoiding winds so that you're
(43:56):
able your winds are not going loose, shall we say,
in the middle of the night when you're sleeping kind
of thing. So you know, for me, when I hear this,
when I hear you know, how can I stop my dreams?
The first thing that comes up for me after why,
because that that right there, why do you want to
stop them? Is a huge, huge piece. But the next
(44:16):
question for me is, well, how old are you are?
You fifteen? Because that's a whole different conversation than if
you're fifty five, right there, So, so how old are you?
Why do you want to stop them? How old are you?
And then also how long has this been happening? Is
this like you know every single day? How often does
it happen? And then how often has it been happening?
(44:38):
Is it every single day for your entire life? Or
you know, has something shifted? Are you in a new
relationship or did you just go through a divorce or
like what's happening in your universe that may have triggered this?
And again is it happening every night? Is it happening
once a month? So what is the frequency of it happening?
So there's a lot to me, there's a lot of
(44:58):
a lot more questions to ask to diagnose, like what
the root cause is, well, your current sexual activity? Are
you practicing semen retention? And you're you haven't ejaculated in
six months? But I'm just like you might help me out,
I'm gonna do this myself, right, So, so is that
(45:19):
what's going on? Or are you ejaculating every day and
masturbating important and then still having emissions at night? Right?
And so we need a lot more information to answer
this question, to find to know if it's even a problem, because,
as Sequena said, maybe it's not a problem. Maybe it's
just our cultural conditioning that tells us if there's something
(45:41):
wrong with it. And actually the medicine for you is
to embrace it and celebrate it as opposed to trying
to get rid of it.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
I'd also want to know what actually is happening? So
how are you defining a wet dream? Say, is this
something that happens like after you've you know, been with
a partner and you're a fanticide about the partner or
dreaming about them and you're waking up.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
You know, with a wet spot, or like you know, you.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
Don't even know what you're dreaming about, but are waking
up that way, or you're dreaming about something specific that
you know, you don't think that it should be connected
with something sexual, like and like I want to know,
like what what do you define as a wet dream
to begin with? So like what are what exactly are
you experiencing?
Speaker 5 (46:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (46:27):
I love that, And one thing I love about these
conversations is really modeling for all of you wonderful listeners,
how complex these sexuality issues are It's not like Cosmo
like one one size fits all and one answer fits all,
because we're so unique, and because sexuality is an expression
of our health and well being, and if there's an
issue in our sex, it could point to a deeper
(46:49):
issue with our health and well being on a number
of different levels. So there is no easy answer. And
I and I think, you know, I really want to
encourage you listeners, like you can get fun tips and
stuff for magazines and whatever, but those are not going
they're not medicine, and and they're not necessarily going to
address with any depth or sustainability and the issues that
(47:12):
you may be dealing with. And this is why again
you know, I'm not not you know, this isn't meant
to be an infomercial, but it just keeps coming home
to me how how really important it is to have
guidance and support in this area. Just like physically, you know,
if you're physical therapy, you're not just going to like,
you know, go go to a YouTube video on the
internet to figure out how to rehabilitate yourself after surgery
(47:33):
kind of thing, right, So similarly, with sexuality, we there
is a dearth of of of supportive, integrative, mindful education
about it in the world and so having people who
specialize this to walk you through and just you know,
give you like fucking peace of mind, dude, Like seriously,
so much of what we think is fucked up about
(47:55):
is you know, individually in the society about their sexuality
is actually really common and it can actually be you know, drill,
when we drill down into it can actually be a
simple fix. So for example, along those lines, I've had
Yoni owners female students that really wanted to have vagulal orgasms,
and through our conversation and just kind of like getting
(48:15):
some feedback from them about their sexual experience and what
they're doing with their breath during penetration and different the
position they're in. All that all we did was just
shift a few things. Open your mouth, relax and breathe
when you feel your pleasure instead of clamping down and
relax open your body, breathe, maybe change your position of
this and like in one session, they're having fucking vaginal orgasms.
If they couldn't have their entire life, So sometimes it's
(48:36):
a really simple fix. But if she didn't work with
me and I didn't have the expertise that they have.
She would have never gotten that from like a YouTube
video or a fucking Cosmo article, right, yeah, yeah, And.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
When I think about the Cosmo article, it's it's this
concept of one size fits all.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
Yeah, exactly that that then I'll work, you know, try
that and that'll work for me. I mean, you know,
I'm going to a shoe store.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
You see the display shoe and you're like, Okay, I'll
take that one because you know it's probably not gonna fit.
It's not your size, you know, so you look for
your size shoe like one size does not fit all,
you know. So it's like I love that, Davy, you know,
just the idea that it's like, yeah, this is very individualized.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yeah. And the other thing I want to I want
to take up time to talk about because this is
our last show for the year, is I want to
talk about g spot vibrators, my friends, because this was
not on the schedule, but it's coming up now because
it's one of those things that pisses me right the
fuck off. So, your g spot is a rectile tissue
that needs to engorge. It is your urethral sponge. It's
(49:42):
spongy tissue that surrounds you. Your wreath run. It's part
of your rectile tissue bed, and during rectile tissue it
takes time to doing gorge. You're not going to put
your finger on the front all of your vagina after
walking out of a shower unless you've been, you know,
fantasizing a master beating in there and like have an
orgasm because you just touched your spot. That's not the
way it works. It's like a penis. It needs to
be in gorged and it responds to pressure pressurized friction.
(50:07):
So not vibrating your G spot does not respond to
vibrating until it's already in gorge. So I'm saying this
because I cannot tell you how many women women with
volves in vaginas being specific for you know, our non
binary people and trans people here, women with volves in vaginas,
I cannot tell you how many times they have thought
(50:29):
that their pussies were broken because they bought the best
new G spot vibrator and it didn't fucking work for them.
They didn't have a G spot orgas, And it's because
they were warmed up. It's because simply did not know
how the body works. Your G spot has to be
in gorged. For most people, I will say, your G
spot needs to already be in gorge for it to
respond to vibration. And it does not engorge through vibration alone.
(50:52):
It needs pressure and combine pressure in friction in order
to engorge. And so G spot vibrators, in my opinion,
are a of your motherfucking money. I'm just they are,
and until they're great to use his dildo's once you're
already engorged, but just trying to use a G spot
vibrator and thinking you're gonna have the best G spot
orgism of your life. I have yet to have one,
(51:13):
and I've been using that. I've been trying for thirteen
motherfucking years yet to have a client who uses a
G spot vibe successfully without education beforehand. So do you
guys have anything I want to add to that? I
just wanted to say that because it fucking pisses me
off so bad. Because vibrator. Yeah, I don't own a
spot vibrator.
Speaker 5 (51:33):
Yeah I don't either.
Speaker 10 (51:35):
Yeah, or a partner or whomever who's going to make
you squirt by you know, vibrating with their finger your G.
Speaker 3 (51:47):
Spot when it's not engorged and nothing else has gone
on before, and it's like, oh, well then you must
be broken. Yes, you know, like I hear that from
women who've experienced that, and it's at the hands whether
they're practitioners or partners or whoever.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
They are, you know, just dive into.
Speaker 3 (52:05):
The g spot and you know, and then it's like, oh, well,
what's what's what's your issue?
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (52:11):
Wow, Yeah, it's so important to let people know that
Number one, Yes, sex is sold to us all the time.
A lot of what is being sold to us it's
not healthy. And then she not researched even whoa for
for yoni's Yeah right, it's not even looking at how
actually our physiology works. And every fucking woman is different,
(52:34):
every person with a yoni. So I'm going to go
back to general. So anybody with yoni, your yoni is
one hundred percent different. And that's the like being a
pant sexual person. Not to say that every lingamn or
isn't also different, but the particular physiology of yoni can be.
Speaker 5 (52:53):
Quite different from one yoni to another.
Speaker 4 (52:55):
Right, as a pant sexual person, when I have a
female lover, I'm a lot more like oh shit, when
I give a yoni massage. I'm a lot more like,
oh shit, I got.
Speaker 5 (53:03):
A lot of figuring out to do here.
Speaker 4 (53:05):
I have a lot of communication to do to find out.
Because one person may love their G spot being stimulated
and make it off on it. Another person is like,
don't touch me there, that's annoying.
Speaker 5 (53:13):
I hate it. Yeah, right, it is.
Speaker 4 (53:16):
And that's part of the beauty though, too, is the
time of communication and exploration and creating one thing like
a vibrator for the G spot makes no sense because
our bodies are not creative like that.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
And also, and I love that you brought that in well,
that in Rosie, because also our sexuality is not static.
And so you know, initially there were parts of my
own EI that I absolutely hated having stimulated. And now
I love or vice versus, because something shifted inside of me,
inside of my brain and my heart and you know,
my energy, body, my physiology. Something shifted. So our sexuality
(53:51):
is not static. And what worked for me ten years
ago is not the same thing that's going to work
for me today. So what worked for Jill, you know,
in her G spot massage for you know, Bob to
give her is not going to necessarily work for Jennifer. Right,
and that's the thing. H Yeah. I was gonna say
even from week to week.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Yeah, I mean our cycles, you know, depending on where
you are in your cycle, something can be like so
sensitive it's like whoa, okay no, and then at different
times in the cycle it's like yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Go there, you know.
Speaker 3 (54:21):
So I mean it's not even just ten years, it's
like ten days.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Yeah exactly, thank you, thank you. Yeah. So g Spot vibrators, ladies,
if you you know, I would say, don't don't spend
two hundred dollars on one. It's not going to give
you the best orgasm of your life. It will sit
in your drawer most likely. If you want to try them,
you know, start with like a thirty dollars version first,
and don't feel like you're broken if you don't have
an orgasm from vibrating on your d spot when it
(54:48):
hasn't been in gorge for twenty thirty forty minutes already.
So my honey, wont my honeywon? Is my spot's best friend? Yeah?
The honey Dipper one? Yes, yeah, yeah, because ergonomic, I
call it that smart crowbar. Get you one today, ladies
dot com? All right, my friends, we are actually over
(55:12):
our time today, but that is okay. We so enjoyed
spending this time with you. Everyone. I'm gonna have you
do a round of who you are and where we
can find out more. Let's start with Lucia in the
upper right. Who are you and where can we find
out more? Oh?
Speaker 6 (55:24):
Yeah, you can simply google my name Lucia Vascaz and
all my social media's will pop up. Or you can
use my website which is embodied elements hyphen w P
dot com.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
Yay, all right, Rosiebits you can find.
Speaker 4 (55:38):
Me at rosybits dot com. And yeah, if you google me,
everything will pop up lots lots of many things, plus
lots of naked pictures.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
So google me. Well, I mean shit with that invitation,
Let's do it. Karen Craig, who are you? Where can
we find out more? Explore time for dot com.
Speaker 3 (55:56):
I'm also a time for master and certification instructor for
the Institute of Authentic Contra Education. If you find me
on the Authenticontra dot com website as well.
Speaker 1 (56:10):
All right, you have a similar bio. You can find
me at simply Tanto dot com.
Speaker 8 (56:17):
Also, I am a contre Mastery instructor at Authentic Contrast
Authentic tatre dot com.
Speaker 1 (56:24):
Yay, all right, everybody, So, as we said before, make
sure that you stay tuned. Also, I just want to
give a shout out. We are launching a tantr Healing
for Black Men program. I apologize for not putting that
out front when we first started the show. It starts
November second, so if you still have time to jump in,
please do. Even if it's a little bit late you're
listening to this episode a week later, that's okay. We
will still open the doors wide for you. All the
(56:45):
sessions will be recorded and uploaded to your online vault,
and you will have access to all of that material
for a year. So Tantra Healing for Black Men. Sign
up at Tantre Healing for black Men dot com quite frankly,
and stay connected to us at Authentic Tuntra dot com
all the time. Look forward to seeing you all in
twenty twenty two. Make sure you give us a shout
out in the meantime at Authentic Tuntra, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
(57:08):
Have a beautiful night, my friends. I won't be seeing
you next week. I'll be tremely next to er. Have
a good night. You've been listening to Sex's Medicine with
Davy Ward ericson your number one resource for holistic sex education.
You can listen to and subscribe to Sex's Medicine on Spotify, Stitcher,
(57:29):
tune In, iTunes, iHeartRadio, and YouTube. Just search Sex's Medicine
with Davy Ward. Stay connected with me and my guests
on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Authentic Contra and learn
how you can use tntra as medicine to heal, awaken,
and empower every area of your life at Authentic tontra
dot com. Make sure to tune in to Sex's Medicine
(57:52):
every Thursday at seven pm Pacific on Contact Talk Radio
Network and join our watch party every Thursday evening on
faceboo book ad Authentic ton Tram. We look forward to
you joining us next week for another episode of Sex
Is Medicine with Davey Woarne.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.