September 22, 2019 • 28 mins
Healing the mother wound Welcome to season 2 of Soul Keys Podcast! In this episode, we dive deep into our inner wounds that are related to our inner mother and our relationship with our mother. You can find me on facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/intuitivelifecoachingwithkelly You can join my new free library @ www.intuitivelifecoachingwithkelly.com Key #1 The mother [...]
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Soulkey's podcast. My name
is Kelly T. Smith and you can always learn more
about me at www dot Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly
dot com. So I am really excited to be back
with you guys. Today. The topic is healing the mother
won't so join me every Sunday for a new episode
(00:22):
as we're beginning a new exciting season of soul Key's podcast.
And also be sure and join me at my free
new library at www dot Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly
dot Com. There I have lots of extra things for
you to explore, videos and meditations, hypnotherapy and even talks
(00:45):
that I don't have available anywhere else except for my
free library, So you can join me for free at
www dot Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly dot com. Also
be sure and find me on Facebook at Intuitive Life
Coaching Kelly. So again, today's topic is healing the mother wound.
(01:05):
I want to start out by sharing with you what
has been going on with me for the past nine months.
It started January eighth. There was this deep inner desire
to really explore anything that was holding me back. And
I'm always always willing to do the inner work, but
sometimes things are hidden so deeply that you're not even
(01:27):
aware that there's inner work to be done, and when
the time is right, it will come out eventually, because
it's always in the background. It's running your relationships, it's
running whether or not you can move forward or how
successful you can be. It can run your financial goals,
it can run your whether or not you're allowing yourself
(01:50):
to receive So as we allow any of those inner
wounds to come forward, and sometimes we have no choice.
So for me, in January eighth of twenty nineteen is
when it started. I had this deep desire to really
go within me to uncover anything that was keeping me
from my goal at the time, which was to lose
(02:12):
weight to release weight. I had gained a lot of weight,
and I knew because I have a deep relationship with
my inner self, I knew that I had to do
with something emotional. And as I kept exploring it, what
was happening for me is that that emotional wound was
(02:33):
tied to my relationship with my mother. So as it
started to open up more and more for me, I
was able to fully understand why I had gained weight.
And I think it's different for every person. Every single
person has an emotional component to something that is going
(02:55):
on in their life, whether it's a physical ailment, whether
for me like gain weight, whether it has to do
with not being able to move forward. It is a
set of beliefs that you have about yourself, and until
you can clear them out and replace them with your
inner connection and awaken to the truth of who you
(03:16):
really are, then we feel stuck. So as I started
to explore that open wound that was rising from within me,
it had a lot to do with the caregiver archaetype,
and the mother archaeotype is actually a branch of one
of the main twelve archaetype, and that is the caregiver archaetype.
(03:38):
So for me, I learned that I was carrying the
emotional weight of others around me so much so that
it was causing me to feel stagnant. It was causing
me to put everyone before me, It was causing me
to feel invisible, and it was all things that were
happening to me on a deeper level. And as I
(04:01):
did the enner work and as I healed the mother wound,
shifted my relationship with others in regards to my caregiving
the way I show up as a caregiver, I could
achieve my goal, and I am happy to say that
nine months later, I have released fifty pounds of emotional
(04:24):
weight and also literally fifty pounds. So I am so
excited to dive into this topic today and share with
you everything that I've learned and hopes that you can
also dive deep into your inner self and uncover anything
that is keeping you from living your best life and
(04:47):
healing anything that needs to be healed. So key number
one is the mother archaetype, and like I just explained,
the mother archaetype is a branch of the caregiver ourcchae type.
The way I showed up as a caregiver for a
very long time was always putting myself on the back burner,
(05:08):
was always taking on more than I could possibly do,
was always putting other people's needs above my own. Was
always trying to learn other people's lessons for them. Was
always taking personal accountability and responsibility for the weight of
the world or the weight of situations that didn't have
(05:30):
anything to do with me. Being able to surrender, being
able to let go, being able to understand that it
wasn't all on me that I didn't have to take
it all on, that I wasn't responsible for everything, but
that as I showed up as my best self honored
(05:51):
my own personal needs, I could be the best caregiver
I could be without that feeling of being invisible or
not getting my own needs met. So as I really
integrated those lessons, my relationship with others transformed, but most importantly,
my relationship with myself transformed, and my relationship with my
(06:15):
mother and how I perceived my upbringing transformed. So I
want you to really look at your life, look at
the influence of the role of the caregiver as far
as how you show up as a caregiver, and what
influence your mother has had on how you show up
(06:37):
as a caregiver. And what is it about that energy
of the caregiver that feels good to you and what
feels draining to you? And how do you shift that
and what do you need to learn, let go of,
forgive and transform in regards to the caregiver archetype or
(07:00):
two reframing our relationship with our mothers. So something very
important for you to remember is that if you haven't
done the work to release any emotional wounds, that have
to do with your relationship or the dynamic of the
energy between you and your mother. You will ultimately recreate
(07:22):
that relationship with everyone that resembles the caregiver role in
your life, and many people can show up resembling the
caregiver role, such as a teacher, such as a loving friend.
So for a moment, let's just look at all the
relationships that we have where we have recreated the exact
dynamic that we had with our mother without even knowing it,
(07:46):
because this is all happening at an unconscious level. And
the reason why we are projecting that dynamic onto the
other people in our lives is because we haven't transmuted,
we haven't released, we haven't forgiven, and we haven't let go.
We haven't healed that wound. And when we go deep,
when we dive deep, when we acknowledge our own ability
(08:10):
to mother ourselves, and when we forgive and let go
and release and learn those soul lessons, we're no longer
recreating the same relationship over and over and over again.
Let's say your relationship with your mother, you always play
the role of the scapegoat, and that is a very
(08:31):
uncomfortable role to play because no matter what you do,
you always feel like you're in the wrong. You did
something wrong, You're gonna get blamed for something you didn't
do well until you have resolved that from within yourself.
You will then project that energy onto others. And maybe
they aren't trying to scapegoat you, or maybe they don't
(08:51):
see you as somebody they always have to blame. But you,
unconsciously are in fear of that. And when we're unconsciously
in fear of recreating a pattern, than we are automatically
recreating that pattern. So as we reframe our relationship with
our mothers, we will be able to see our relationship
(09:15):
with her from a different perspective, a higher perspective, in
understanding that that relationship served a profound purpose and who
we have become and who we are becoming. No matter
how upsetting or negative we felt it was, it served
a purpose on our journey to becoming who we are
(09:39):
meant to become. So when we stop for a minute
and we go with them and we allow ourselves to
observe our relationship with our mothers from a higher perspective,
what was the greatest lesson you learned from your mother
that has now become a gift or is now becoming
(10:03):
a gift or can become a gift in her book
You Can Heal Your Life. I love how Louise Hayes
always describes this relationship with our parents as soul contracts
because and I believe this too. I believe that we
(10:23):
choose our parents to experience, evolve, and learn exactly what
we came here to learn as a soul. And so
that doesn't always look pretty, that doesn't always feel good,
Those lessons don't always come wrapped in the most beautiful
(10:44):
gift rapping with a bow on it. Sometimes the gift
comes in the form of a very unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship
that then opens up a desire to connect deeper and
deeper with your inner self, your soul self, with your
(11:06):
own ability to connect with your inner mother and the
lesson of compassion and forgiveness. So as we dive deep
to do the inner work, I want you to take
a moment now to reflect upon your own personal relationship
with your mother. Is there any healing work that needs
(11:29):
to be done? What emotional wounds do you still have?
In a lot of ways, we can look at other
mothers or other relationships around us and get very upset
because we assume that a mother is always supposed to
be there for us, is to be unconditionally loving, is
(11:52):
to never be selfish and put their needs above ours.
We assume that a mother would never abandon us and
that they will always be unconditionally loving, kind and supportive.
And so if we did not have that, we can
unconsciously internalize that as something we did wrong. We can
(12:15):
unconsciously internalize that as we are being bad, that we
are worthy of their love, that we're not good enough,
that we did something wrong, that we always have to
be selfless, that we always have to be perfect, that
we always have to do right in order to be lovable.
And this is an opportunity for us to identify that
(12:36):
emotional wound. Go with then and allow ourself to give
ourself that love that we were always yearning for, that
we never felt like we got from our own mothers.
And as we do the work, to go with then
and ask what we need to ask, what is most important.
(12:58):
To look at our eyes and healthy dynamics, to honor
our needs, our opinions, and value ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally.
We can heal and not only can we heal that wound,
that inner wound, but we can shift that dynamic and
(13:18):
no longer recreate that with other relationships and stay stuck
in that dysfunctional dance. Here's an example of reframing your
relationship with your mom. So, if you never felt heard
or you never felt listened to, or you never felt
good enough, or you never felt worthy, or you never
(13:39):
felt safe, or you never felt like you mattered, or
you felt abandoned, what were those What was the driving
force that led you to become who you are now?
In other words, if your destiny is to be a healer,
(14:01):
is to be a coach, is to be a counselor,
through that disconnect with your own mother, you will have
no choice but to cultivate that energy from within yourself,
and you will spend your entire life looking for that connection.
You will spend your entire life trying to understand that wound,
(14:23):
and through that exploration, and through that trying to understand,
and through that trying to heal, you will you will
ultimately head down the path you were meant to be on.
Because what if we already had just the most perfect relationships,
then we wouldn't have the desire to cultivate those qualities
(14:47):
within ourself, we wouldn't have the desire to connect with God,
we wouldn't have the desire to connect with our inner
self as much because we would always be dependent on
getting that love from outside of us. Another way to
reframe your relationship with your mother is to put yourself
(15:08):
in her shoes. So just for a moment, think about
her life, think about her challenges, think about the beliefs
and ideas that were handed down to her from her mother,
and hold her in a space of unconditional love, Hold
her in a space of compassion. Just because she couldn't
(15:34):
give that to you, doesn't mean you can't give that
to her From your own place of inner awareness of
unconditional love for yourself, you can then extend that to her,
even if she can't do the same for you. Key
number three, identifying beliefs that were handed down to us
(15:54):
from our mothers. I don't know about you, but some
major epiphanies that I have had in my life, at
different cycles or different ages in my life, I have
been able to look out, kind of look around and
observe and realize I had created the exact same thing
that my mother had created for herself, and as a
(16:16):
kid or a teenager, we always say, oh, I'm never
going to do that, I'm never going to act like that,
I'm never going to believe that, or I'm never going
to fill in the blank. But we unconsciously do because
at a subconscious level, we have accepted certain beliefs about
ourselves that were mirrored to us from our mother's beliefs
(16:39):
about herself. So being able to identify your beliefs, being
able to identify your patterns, being able to identify anything
that was handed down to you at an unconscious level.
Once you identify it, it doesn't have to have power
over you anymore, because you can say this is not
(16:59):
my I do not accept this, this is not what
I believe, and now I choose something else. And here's
an example. Maybe our mother was always in lack, or
had a belief that money doesn't grow on trees, or
had the belief that you can't have your cake and
eat it too, or just had specific beliefs about the
(17:20):
world around her that created specific circumstances in her life.
And then you grow up and find that you're doing
the same thing. So look at those limited beliefs that
were handed down to you, and ask yourself, is this mine?
Is this true? Is this what I want to create
(17:40):
for myself? So go ahead and take in a deep breath,
and I just want you to reflect on your life
now as a grown adult, or and imagine and think
of anyways you've recreated the same dynamic, You've recreated the
same situation and through holding limited beliefs that were handed
(18:03):
down to you, and as they come into your awareness,
I just want you to challenge each and every one
of them. Is it true that you'll always have to
work hard for your money? Is it true that you
can't trust other people? Is it true that you're never
going to get ahead in life? So just think about
all of those things, all of those beliefs, and one
(18:27):
by one let them come into your awareness so that
you can challenge them. Go ahead and pause this if
you need to, and we're going to move on to
key number four forgiving your mother and cultivating your inner mother.
So if you can, just for a moment, just hold
(18:48):
space for your mother. Think of her as a little child,
Think of everything she must have gone through. Think of
the good times that you've had with your mother, Think
of the challenges your mother has had, and can you believe,
just for one moment, that she did the best she
(19:09):
had with what she had, and that it's okay, and
that she doesn't have to be anyone else for you
to feel good about you, and she doesn't have to
be able to love you the way you feel you
deserve to be loved or the way you can love her,
(19:32):
but you can just love her anyway that you can
release the need for her approval, that you can release
the need to continue to try to have a relationship
with her that she might not be capable of having.
(19:54):
Or maybe your mother has passed and being without your
mother has left you feeling lonely, has left you feeling empty,
has left you feeling sad, has left you feeling a
whole in your heart. Can you take this moment to
connect with your mother, to allow her to fill you
(20:15):
with love, to remind you that she's still with you
in your heart, all around you, guiding you, supporting you,
loving you through it all. And can you forgive yourself
for not listening to your inner needs? And can you
forgive yourself for recreating those unhealthy situations or dynamics, or
(20:42):
can you forgive yourself for anything you might have done
to hurt your mother or upset your mother. For just
a moment, let unconditional love fill you from your head
to your toes and know that on a soul level,
(21:07):
our mothers played the role that we needed them to
play for us to become who we are becoming. And
let it all go. Send forgiveness, send healing, and go
within and allow yourself to be that caregiver energy for yourself.
(21:32):
If you were your own mother, what would you say
to yourself at your darkest hour? What would you tell
yourself that you needed? How would you guide yourself? How
would you support yourself? How would you love yourself unconditionally? Okay,
(21:56):
now we're going to go ahead and do a short
meditation for connecting with our mothers higher self. So make
sure that you are in a quiet space, that you
are not doing anything other than just being able to
relax and connect in And now we're just going to
(22:20):
take a moment to imagine that we are going to
connect with the higher self of our mothers. So go
ahead and close your eyes and imagine a set of
stairs in front of you. I want you now to
begin climbing up each step and continue climbing up each step,
(22:46):
and as you do, feeling yourself getting lighter and lighter,
going into higher levels of awareness, releasing any burdens, any fear,
any doubt, any pain, any sadness, any feelings of betrayal,
(23:08):
any feelings of abandonment, any feelings of being controlled or unheard.
Just let it all fall away as you continue to
climb up into higher levels of awareness. As you climb
the stairs, and in a moment, you're going to see
(23:31):
a door. And when you see that door, go ahead
and open it. And as you walk into a room,
a light filled room, you notice a table, and on
(23:57):
the other end of that table is your mother's higher
glowing with pure unconditional love, pure source energy, pure spirit.
Sit down with her and ask her to show you
(24:23):
whatever it is you need to learn about yourself and
the world around you. Ask her to show you why
she played that specific role in your life. What was
she here to teach you. I'm going to give you
just a moment as you connected with your mother. Now
(25:08):
go ahead and ask her for her forgiveness, and allow
yourself to forgive her. And as you release all of
the past, feeling it lift away from you, allow yourself
(25:30):
to connect with your mother from a heart heart space,
knowing that even if you don't have a relationship with
her and it's not healthy for you to have a
relationship with her in this lifetime, that on a deeper
level you are always connected, and if there is a
(25:50):
possibility for you to reconnect with her in this lifetime,
ask for her help in doing so and extending pure
source energy, pure unconditional love. Say thank you, and in
(26:15):
a moment, we're going to go ahead and open our
eyes on the count of five, coming back into full
awareness zero one, two three, becoming more and more aware
(26:36):
of the environment around you four five, eyes wide open
in a non suggestive state. Eyes wide open in a
non suggestive state, Feeling refreshed, feeling rejuvenated, feeling at peace. Okay, guys,
(26:58):
welcome back and thank you for doing that inner exploration
where you can connect with your mother, send pure unconditional love,
cultivate that mother energy from within yourself. Have an absolute
amazing day. Thank you so much for joining me. Don't
forget to join my free library at www dot Intuitive
(27:20):
Life Coaching with Kelly dot com. Also find me on
Facebook at Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly T. Smith And
until next time, thank you again, has no time
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Soulkey's podcast. My name
is Kelly T. Smith and you can always learn more
about me at www dot Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly
dot com. So I am really excited to be back
with you guys. Today. The topic is healing the mother
won't so join me every Sunday for a new episode
(00:22):
as we're beginning a new exciting season of soul Key's podcast.
And also be sure and join me at my free
new library at www dot Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly
dot Com. There I have lots of extra things for
you to explore, videos and meditations, hypnotherapy and even talks
(00:45):
that I don't have available anywhere else except for my
free library, So you can join me for free at
www dot Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly dot com. Also
be sure and find me on Facebook at Intuitive Life
Coaching Kelly. So again, today's topic is healing the mother wound.
(01:05):
I want to start out by sharing with you what
has been going on with me for the past nine months.
It started January eighth. There was this deep inner desire
to really explore anything that was holding me back. And
I'm always always willing to do the inner work, but
sometimes things are hidden so deeply that you're not even
(01:27):
aware that there's inner work to be done, and when
the time is right, it will come out eventually, because
it's always in the background. It's running your relationships, it's
running whether or not you can move forward or how
successful you can be. It can run your financial goals,
it can run your whether or not you're allowing yourself
(01:50):
to receive So as we allow any of those inner
wounds to come forward, and sometimes we have no choice.
So for me, in January eighth of twenty nineteen is
when it started. I had this deep desire to really
go within me to uncover anything that was keeping me
from my goal at the time, which was to lose
(02:12):
weight to release weight. I had gained a lot of weight,
and I knew because I have a deep relationship with
my inner self, I knew that I had to do
with something emotional. And as I kept exploring it, what
was happening for me is that that emotional wound was
(02:33):
tied to my relationship with my mother. So as it
started to open up more and more for me, I
was able to fully understand why I had gained weight.
And I think it's different for every person. Every single
person has an emotional component to something that is going
(02:55):
on in their life, whether it's a physical ailment, whether
for me like gain weight, whether it has to do
with not being able to move forward. It is a
set of beliefs that you have about yourself, and until
you can clear them out and replace them with your
inner connection and awaken to the truth of who you
(03:16):
really are, then we feel stuck. So as I started
to explore that open wound that was rising from within me,
it had a lot to do with the caregiver archaetype,
and the mother archaeotype is actually a branch of one
of the main twelve archaetype, and that is the caregiver archaetype.
(03:38):
So for me, I learned that I was carrying the
emotional weight of others around me so much so that
it was causing me to feel stagnant. It was causing
me to put everyone before me, It was causing me
to feel invisible, and it was all things that were
happening to me on a deeper level. And as I
(04:01):
did the enner work and as I healed the mother wound,
shifted my relationship with others in regards to my caregiving
the way I show up as a caregiver, I could
achieve my goal, and I am happy to say that
nine months later, I have released fifty pounds of emotional
(04:24):
weight and also literally fifty pounds. So I am so
excited to dive into this topic today and share with
you everything that I've learned and hopes that you can
also dive deep into your inner self and uncover anything
that is keeping you from living your best life and
(04:47):
healing anything that needs to be healed. So key number
one is the mother archaetype, and like I just explained,
the mother archaetype is a branch of the caregiver ourcchae type.
The way I showed up as a caregiver for a
very long time was always putting myself on the back burner,
(05:08):
was always taking on more than I could possibly do,
was always putting other people's needs above my own. Was
always trying to learn other people's lessons for them. Was
always taking personal accountability and responsibility for the weight of
the world or the weight of situations that didn't have
(05:30):
anything to do with me. Being able to surrender, being
able to let go, being able to understand that it
wasn't all on me that I didn't have to take
it all on, that I wasn't responsible for everything, but
that as I showed up as my best self honored
(05:51):
my own personal needs, I could be the best caregiver
I could be without that feeling of being invisible or
not getting my own needs met. So as I really
integrated those lessons, my relationship with others transformed, but most importantly,
my relationship with myself transformed, and my relationship with my
(06:15):
mother and how I perceived my upbringing transformed. So I
want you to really look at your life, look at
the influence of the role of the caregiver as far
as how you show up as a caregiver, and what
influence your mother has had on how you show up
(06:37):
as a caregiver. And what is it about that energy
of the caregiver that feels good to you and what
feels draining to you? And how do you shift that
and what do you need to learn, let go of,
forgive and transform in regards to the caregiver archetype or
(07:00):
two reframing our relationship with our mothers. So something very
important for you to remember is that if you haven't
done the work to release any emotional wounds, that have
to do with your relationship or the dynamic of the
energy between you and your mother. You will ultimately recreate
(07:22):
that relationship with everyone that resembles the caregiver role in
your life, and many people can show up resembling the
caregiver role, such as a teacher, such as a loving friend.
So for a moment, let's just look at all the
relationships that we have where we have recreated the exact
dynamic that we had with our mother without even knowing it,
(07:46):
because this is all happening at an unconscious level. And
the reason why we are projecting that dynamic onto the
other people in our lives is because we haven't transmuted,
we haven't released, we haven't forgiven, and we haven't let go.
We haven't healed that wound. And when we go deep,
when we dive deep, when we acknowledge our own ability
(08:10):
to mother ourselves, and when we forgive and let go
and release and learn those soul lessons, we're no longer
recreating the same relationship over and over and over again.
Let's say your relationship with your mother, you always play
the role of the scapegoat, and that is a very
(08:31):
uncomfortable role to play because no matter what you do,
you always feel like you're in the wrong. You did
something wrong, You're gonna get blamed for something you didn't
do well until you have resolved that from within yourself.
You will then project that energy onto others. And maybe
they aren't trying to scapegoat you, or maybe they don't
(08:51):
see you as somebody they always have to blame. But you,
unconsciously are in fear of that. And when we're unconsciously
in fear of recreating a pattern, than we are automatically
recreating that pattern. So as we reframe our relationship with
our mothers, we will be able to see our relationship
(09:15):
with her from a different perspective, a higher perspective, in
understanding that that relationship served a profound purpose and who
we have become and who we are becoming. No matter
how upsetting or negative we felt it was, it served
a purpose on our journey to becoming who we are
(09:39):
meant to become. So when we stop for a minute
and we go with them and we allow ourselves to
observe our relationship with our mothers from a higher perspective,
what was the greatest lesson you learned from your mother
that has now become a gift or is now becoming
(10:03):
a gift or can become a gift in her book
You Can Heal Your Life. I love how Louise Hayes
always describes this relationship with our parents as soul contracts
because and I believe this too. I believe that we
(10:23):
choose our parents to experience, evolve, and learn exactly what
we came here to learn as a soul. And so
that doesn't always look pretty, that doesn't always feel good,
Those lessons don't always come wrapped in the most beautiful
(10:44):
gift rapping with a bow on it. Sometimes the gift
comes in the form of a very unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship
that then opens up a desire to connect deeper and
deeper with your inner self, your soul self, with your
(11:06):
own ability to connect with your inner mother and the
lesson of compassion and forgiveness. So as we dive deep
to do the inner work, I want you to take
a moment now to reflect upon your own personal relationship
with your mother. Is there any healing work that needs
(11:29):
to be done? What emotional wounds do you still have?
In a lot of ways, we can look at other
mothers or other relationships around us and get very upset
because we assume that a mother is always supposed to
be there for us, is to be unconditionally loving, is
(11:52):
to never be selfish and put their needs above ours.
We assume that a mother would never abandon us and
that they will always be unconditionally loving, kind and supportive.
And so if we did not have that, we can
unconsciously internalize that as something we did wrong. We can
(12:15):
unconsciously internalize that as we are being bad, that we
are worthy of their love, that we're not good enough,
that we did something wrong, that we always have to
be selfless, that we always have to be perfect, that
we always have to do right in order to be lovable.
And this is an opportunity for us to identify that
(12:36):
emotional wound. Go with then and allow ourself to give
ourself that love that we were always yearning for, that
we never felt like we got from our own mothers.
And as we do the work, to go with then
and ask what we need to ask, what is most important.
(12:58):
To look at our eyes and healthy dynamics, to honor
our needs, our opinions, and value ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally.
We can heal and not only can we heal that wound,
that inner wound, but we can shift that dynamic and
(13:18):
no longer recreate that with other relationships and stay stuck
in that dysfunctional dance. Here's an example of reframing your
relationship with your mom. So, if you never felt heard
or you never felt listened to, or you never felt
good enough, or you never felt worthy, or you never
(13:39):
felt safe, or you never felt like you mattered, or
you felt abandoned, what were those What was the driving
force that led you to become who you are now?
In other words, if your destiny is to be a healer,
(14:01):
is to be a coach, is to be a counselor,
through that disconnect with your own mother, you will have
no choice but to cultivate that energy from within yourself,
and you will spend your entire life looking for that connection.
You will spend your entire life trying to understand that wound,
(14:23):
and through that exploration, and through that trying to understand,
and through that trying to heal, you will you will
ultimately head down the path you were meant to be on.
Because what if we already had just the most perfect relationships,
then we wouldn't have the desire to cultivate those qualities
(14:47):
within ourself, we wouldn't have the desire to connect with God,
we wouldn't have the desire to connect with our inner
self as much because we would always be dependent on
getting that love from outside of us. Another way to
reframe your relationship with your mother is to put yourself
(15:08):
in her shoes. So just for a moment, think about
her life, think about her challenges, think about the beliefs
and ideas that were handed down to her from her mother,
and hold her in a space of unconditional love, Hold
her in a space of compassion. Just because she couldn't
(15:34):
give that to you, doesn't mean you can't give that
to her From your own place of inner awareness of
unconditional love for yourself, you can then extend that to her,
even if she can't do the same for you. Key
number three, identifying beliefs that were handed down to us
(15:54):
from our mothers. I don't know about you, but some
major epiphanies that I have had in my life, at
different cycles or different ages in my life, I have
been able to look out, kind of look around and
observe and realize I had created the exact same thing
that my mother had created for herself, and as a
(16:16):
kid or a teenager, we always say, oh, I'm never
going to do that, I'm never going to act like that,
I'm never going to believe that, or I'm never going
to fill in the blank. But we unconsciously do because
at a subconscious level, we have accepted certain beliefs about
ourselves that were mirrored to us from our mother's beliefs
(16:39):
about herself. So being able to identify your beliefs, being
able to identify your patterns, being able to identify anything
that was handed down to you at an unconscious level.
Once you identify it, it doesn't have to have power
over you anymore, because you can say this is not
(16:59):
my I do not accept this, this is not what
I believe, and now I choose something else. And here's
an example. Maybe our mother was always in lack, or
had a belief that money doesn't grow on trees, or
had the belief that you can't have your cake and
eat it too, or just had specific beliefs about the
(17:20):
world around her that created specific circumstances in her life.
And then you grow up and find that you're doing
the same thing. So look at those limited beliefs that
were handed down to you, and ask yourself, is this mine?
Is this true? Is this what I want to create
(17:40):
for myself? So go ahead and take in a deep breath,
and I just want you to reflect on your life
now as a grown adult, or and imagine and think
of anyways you've recreated the same dynamic, You've recreated the
same situation and through holding limited beliefs that were handed
(18:03):
down to you, and as they come into your awareness,
I just want you to challenge each and every one
of them. Is it true that you'll always have to
work hard for your money? Is it true that you
can't trust other people? Is it true that you're never
going to get ahead in life? So just think about
all of those things, all of those beliefs, and one
(18:27):
by one let them come into your awareness so that
you can challenge them. Go ahead and pause this if
you need to, and we're going to move on to
key number four forgiving your mother and cultivating your inner mother.
So if you can, just for a moment, just hold
(18:48):
space for your mother. Think of her as a little child,
Think of everything she must have gone through. Think of
the good times that you've had with your mother, Think
of the challenges your mother has had, and can you believe,
just for one moment, that she did the best she
(19:09):
had with what she had, and that it's okay, and
that she doesn't have to be anyone else for you
to feel good about you, and she doesn't have to
be able to love you the way you feel you
deserve to be loved or the way you can love her,
(19:32):
but you can just love her anyway that you can
release the need for her approval, that you can release
the need to continue to try to have a relationship
with her that she might not be capable of having.
(19:54):
Or maybe your mother has passed and being without your
mother has left you feeling lonely, has left you feeling empty,
has left you feeling sad, has left you feeling a
whole in your heart. Can you take this moment to
connect with your mother, to allow her to fill you
(20:15):
with love, to remind you that she's still with you
in your heart, all around you, guiding you, supporting you,
loving you through it all. And can you forgive yourself
for not listening to your inner needs? And can you
forgive yourself for recreating those unhealthy situations or dynamics, or
(20:42):
can you forgive yourself for anything you might have done
to hurt your mother or upset your mother. For just
a moment, let unconditional love fill you from your head
to your toes and know that on a soul level,
(21:07):
our mothers played the role that we needed them to
play for us to become who we are becoming. And
let it all go. Send forgiveness, send healing, and go
within and allow yourself to be that caregiver energy for yourself.
(21:32):
If you were your own mother, what would you say
to yourself at your darkest hour? What would you tell
yourself that you needed? How would you guide yourself? How
would you support yourself? How would you love yourself unconditionally? Okay,
(21:56):
now we're going to go ahead and do a short
meditation for connecting with our mothers higher self. So make
sure that you are in a quiet space, that you
are not doing anything other than just being able to
relax and connect in And now we're just going to
(22:20):
take a moment to imagine that we are going to
connect with the higher self of our mothers. So go
ahead and close your eyes and imagine a set of
stairs in front of you. I want you now to
begin climbing up each step and continue climbing up each step,
(22:46):
and as you do, feeling yourself getting lighter and lighter,
going into higher levels of awareness, releasing any burdens, any fear,
any doubt, any pain, any sadness, any feelings of betrayal,
(23:08):
any feelings of abandonment, any feelings of being controlled or unheard.
Just let it all fall away as you continue to
climb up into higher levels of awareness. As you climb
the stairs, and in a moment, you're going to see
(23:31):
a door. And when you see that door, go ahead
and open it. And as you walk into a room,
a light filled room, you notice a table, and on
(23:57):
the other end of that table is your mother's higher
glowing with pure unconditional love, pure source energy, pure spirit.
Sit down with her and ask her to show you
(24:23):
whatever it is you need to learn about yourself and
the world around you. Ask her to show you why
she played that specific role in your life. What was
she here to teach you. I'm going to give you
just a moment as you connected with your mother. Now
(25:08):
go ahead and ask her for her forgiveness, and allow
yourself to forgive her. And as you release all of
the past, feeling it lift away from you, allow yourself
(25:30):
to connect with your mother from a heart heart space,
knowing that even if you don't have a relationship with
her and it's not healthy for you to have a
relationship with her in this lifetime, that on a deeper
level you are always connected, and if there is a
(25:50):
possibility for you to reconnect with her in this lifetime,
ask for her help in doing so and extending pure
source energy, pure unconditional love. Say thank you, and in
(26:15):
a moment, we're going to go ahead and open our
eyes on the count of five, coming back into full
awareness zero one, two three, becoming more and more aware
(26:36):
of the environment around you four five, eyes wide open
in a non suggestive state. Eyes wide open in a
non suggestive state, Feeling refreshed, feeling rejuvenated, feeling at peace. Okay, guys,
(26:58):
welcome back and thank you for doing that inner exploration
where you can connect with your mother, send pure unconditional love,
cultivate that mother energy from within yourself. Have an absolute
amazing day. Thank you so much for joining me. Don't
forget to join my free library at www dot Intuitive
(27:20):
Life Coaching with Kelly dot com. Also find me on
Facebook at Intuitive Life Coaching with Kelly T. Smith And
until next time, thank you again, has no time
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