Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Starcare's a weekly program that delves into the
issues that impact you and your family. This program is
a public affairs feature of this radio station. Now here's
your host, Michael Leach.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
A recent National Council for Behavioral Health study reveals that
seventy percent of adults have experienced a traumatic event that
can impact mental resilience and physical health. In her book
The Traumatry, Going Beyond Survival, Growing Toward Wholeness, licensed professional
counselor Lisa Saruga contends that pain does not have to
(00:34):
define us, and she is my guest today. Lisa, welcome
to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Thank you, it's good to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So you have written the resource, as I've said, the Traumatry.
What motivated that writing for you? You know?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I think it was years of dealing with both other
people's trauma and my own. I'm a trauma survivor and
then became a trauma therapist. There are so many people
who experienced trauma who don't even realize that they've experienced trauma.
They don't call it trauma, they don't define it as that.
And the sad thing is, once we know that there's
maybe some post traumatic symptoms, healing is available.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
How are you defining trauma?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Most of us would say that there's two kinds of trauma.
There's big T trauma and there's little T trauma. And
the big T trauma would be those incidents that are
life changing, maybe even life threatening, and so that would
be experiencing a violent crime. We often hear of big
T traumas occurring with people who are in the armed services,
whether they've experienced the trauma themselves or witnessed it. Even
(01:31):
witnessing and big T trauma can be devastating. Little T
trauma is also devastating, just not necessarily life threatening. And
so when we think of, for example, child abuse, if
we've been abused as children, that would be trauma, and
if the child's life is never in danger, it's not
defined as.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Big T trauma.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
But little T trauma, especially chronic little T trauma, has
the same effect on the brain as a big T trauma.
The one thing I would say is trauma is a
word that's thrown around quite loosely. You know, I've heard
teenagers say I couldn't eat lunch today. It was just
a traumatic experience. That's not trauma, that's drama. That's not
life altering.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
What is the difference between, say, for example, trauma and PTSD.
Can you define that? How does that fit in to
what we're discussing.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Trauma is the event that occurs. The post traumatic stress
symptoms would be how the brain is impacted. And I
actually try to not use the term PTSD post traumatic
stress and disorder, because it's not a disorder that we're
born with, So I call it post traumatic stress injury.
And the reason I do is because we can see
how the brain is impacted when we experience trauma. The amygdala,
(02:39):
a subconscious part of our brain, grows and the hippocampus,
which is the rational part of the brain, shrinks, So
it's actually a brain injury when we experience traumatic events.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
When somebody experiences a traumatic event, in the journey toward healing,
what would be the first step.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
The first step really is just to make sure that
your immediate needs are met. I think a lot of
times when we experience trauma, we kind of shut down
and don't really even know how to care for ourselves.
We go through a period of shops. So I kind
of walk through Maslow's hierarchy of needs. The very first
step in those needs is just make sure that you're
being nourished and getting rest and just making sure those
(03:19):
basic needs are met. You know, we often talk about
people who have experienced trauma as survivors. You know, we're
first victims. Victim is kind of seen as a negative
word in our society right now, but victim just means
that something's occurred, something happened to us that was horrific.
We start there, and then as we move toward becoming
a survivor, then it's important to have a good support network,
(03:41):
possibly therapy. I talk about many different things in the
book that people can do to help work toward surviving.
And then if surviving just means we're still breathing, that's
just not enough, is it. So this book really focuses
on how do we get beyond just surviving and back
into living life fully.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
At least often people that are victims. Before we can
even get to the first step, sometimes we put up
shields that help us to deny the realities of what's
really occurring to us. How can we move past the
denial to acknowledge our pain and our experiences.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Denial really is a survival technique. It's almost unfathomable sometimes
what we experience in terms of trauma. So in our
brain we kind of minimize Oftentimes. I've mentioned that I've
had many clients come in who say, I haven't experienced trauma,
and then they'll go on to describe these horrifically traumatic
events that they've experienced. We minimize that as self preservation.
(04:34):
If it's too much for our brain to accept that
that happened, we almost start to dissociate. It's just like
something we watched on TV. It was no big deal.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
How can we move past denying these things so we
can begin the healing process.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, and I think that that first step is just acknowledging, yes,
this happened, being honest with ourself, that it was a
big deal, that this is something that has changed our
life in some way, giving ourselves grace in terms of,
you know, I'm depressed, I'm grieving, whatever it is that
we're feeling. We need to give ourselves permission to feel
those things. Sometimes we avoid feeling the feels because they're
(05:08):
not comfortable. It's very uncomfortable. But the thing is, we
don't get over trauma. We have to get through it,
and part of getting through it is to acknowledge and
experience the emotions that go along with it. So that's
really difficult to do. It's a lot easier to dissociate
and put it off, but we really need to face
it head on and acknowledge our emotions.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Often in trying to face things head on, we begin
to adopt these coping mechanisms and strategies. Sometimes we cling
to the ones that are really artificial and not so
good for us. How do we avoid doing that?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Artificial coping to me is something that we're using to
cope that's not really going to work long term, And
so we see that with substance abuse, alcoholism. If there's
been a relational trauma, sometimes people will jump back into
another relationship too quickly. They're trying to replace that loss
with something that feels better, and with art of coping, again,
(06:01):
it's not going to work in the long term. It's
just going to cause more difficulty. Yeah, So I challenge
people to avoid those those things that sound like easy
coping in the moment and replace that with something that's
going to be long lasting.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Talk a little bit about the power of perspective through
Jesus for those of us who are are Christians. Because
bad things happen to us too.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Oh absolutely. You know a lot of times trauma gets
kind of overlooked in churches. Not always, but some trauma
we kind of put on the back burner and don't
talk about it, and that's that's unfortunate. But as Christians,
we have this eternal perspective and when we think of
this lifetime, this is not all there is. This is
just a small part of eternity. And I think to
(06:43):
have an eternal perspective gives us hope. I have talked
with parents, many parents who have lost children. You know
how hopeless that must feel. But when we have this
eternal perspective, we know that now is not forever, that
our children or our loved ones who have gone before us,
we do get to see them again. This is not
all there is. And I think that eternal perspective it
(07:05):
doesn't make us not suffer. Trauma is still difficult. Like
I said, the eternal perspective gives us hope that this
is not all there is.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Throughout your resource you highlights Psalm twenty seven thirteen, I
remain confident of this. I will see the goodness of
the Lord in the land of the living. Why is
this verse significant And what does it mean to you?
Speaker 3 (07:24):
This verse was significant to me when I was walking
through my own trauma. I will tell you when I
was eighteen, I was the victim of a very violent crime.
The man wore ski mask. I never saw his face
and there was no hope of ever discovering who the
perpetrator was. But thirty five years later he was identified
and my cold case was reopened. I had stuffed my
(07:44):
trauma for thirty five years. I had just decided it
was no big deal. I wasn't going to think about it,
didn't talk about it. But thirty five years later, when
it reopened, I realized all that trauma was still living
within me and I experienced severe post traumatic stress symptoms.
And during that time, this verse kept coming up. And
remain confident of this, I will see the goodness of
the Lord in the land of the living. And in
(08:05):
my case, I really thought that that meant I was
going to get the two things I wanted, Like why
would God reopen this case because I'm going to get justice? Right,
that would be good, that would be goodness, and I'm
going to get closure. And what I discovered through this
process is I didn't get either of those things we
really don't get closure in this lifetime. Those things that
happened to us stay with us for life and really
(08:26):
kind of help form who we are. I didn't get
justice as the world perceives justice, we haven't. Just God
justice will be served. But the scripture verse was not
saying you're going to get what you want in this lifetime.
It's saying, I'm going to see the goodness of the
Lord in the land of the living. Even though I've
experienced trauma, there is still goodness out there, and God
(08:47):
wants us to still continue with life and to have
joy in life. And that is possible even after a trauma.
Healing is possible even if the world doesn't offer us
a happy ending.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
And I guess healing as possible too when we also
address the issue of forgiveness, talk about the importance of
forgiveness to our healing journey.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
You know, it's interesting because a lot of people talk
about forgiveness first, and I have always said, forgiveness doesn't
happen first. You're not going to experience a trauma, especially
something that somebody has done to you, and then you
just automatically forgive. First of all, forgiveness is not saying
what they did was okay. It's not saying you know,
I'm going to be your best friend. Forgiveness is letting
(09:27):
go of the pain that we've experienced, giving that back
to God and living free of that pain and the
bitterness that could come with that. And so forgiveness really
is something that we do for ourselves to free ourselves.
And I don't think it's a one and done thing.
I think forgiveness is something that we do over and
over again for the rest of our lives. Every time
(09:48):
that pain, every time bitterness comes in, we need to
lay it down again at the feet of God. And
that for a while might have to happen minute by minute,
day by day, but eventually I think we can get
to a point where we have laid that down and
we're not carrying the bitterness.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
How can family, friends, or our faith community rally around
both the traumatized and the people who love and support
those who've been traumatized.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
That's a good question. I think people often are searching
for what do I do? What do I say? You
don't have to say a lot at first, just go
and be with them, be open to listening, and we
often provide meals for people who have experienced trauma. And
it sounds like such a simple thing, but think about this.
As you're providing a meal, you're saving them some time,
(10:33):
You're making sure that their basic needs are met. Member,
I said, we want to start by making sure you're
fed and you're rested. And also, when you deliver a meal,
it's the time that you get to touch base with
that person so that they're not isolated. So as simple
as that seems, providing a meal can be a great
way to help somebody. And then I think of Job
in the Book of Job. When Job experienced trauma. Upon trauma,
(10:55):
his friends came to support him, and at first they
did exactly the right thing. They just sat with them.
They didn't talk at all, They just sat with Job,
and that was what Job needed. He just needed to
be surrounded by his friends. But eventually those friends started thinking,
why did this happen to Job? And how do I
know it's not going to happen to me?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
And I think we still do that today. We start
to come up with what did that person do that
I won't do so that it never happens to me.
And so then they started saying, well, Job, must have
sinned and then they started saying all the wrong things.
So I think we need to keep the focus on
the person that's in pain and just listen. We don't
have to say too much.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
There may be somebody who's listening right now to our
conversation and who has just experienced trauma or has experienced
it previously and just really has not moved forward in
their growth. What would you say to that person who
may just think that there's just no hope for them
to move forward.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
First, I would say there is hope, and there are
many many ways that you can work through trauma. Again,
you don't get over it, you walk through it. I
have a journaling technique called raw journaling. Journaling is a
great way to process our trauma go south real fast
if we are only focused on the negative. And so
I've created some journaling techniques that create a dialogue with
God so that God can speak it back into our journaling.
(12:09):
I think that that's really important is to give God
space to speak into us. And I do recommend therapy,
specifically EMDR therapy, eye movement to sensitization reprocessing. We've just
seen great scientific proof that this is very healing to
the brain that has suffered trauma. So I would recommend
finding a Christian therapist who has trained in EMDR therapy because,
(12:34):
like I said, there's a part of our brain called
the amygdala. I don't want to get too far in
the science weeds, but that's where trauma lives and that
part of our brain. And when we go in and
we do talk therapy, we don't use the amygdala part
of our brain at all. We're only using the frontal
lobe of our brain. In talk therapy, E ANDVR actually
accesses the part of the brain, the subconscious part where
(12:55):
trauma lives and helps to soften the triggers.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
And then pray through all throughout. How can we learn
more about what we've discussed today, Lisa, where can we
get a copy of your resource? So?
Speaker 3 (13:06):
The Trauma Tree is available anywhere you get Christian books, Amazon,
Barnes and Noble. My website is Lisasaruga dot com. Lisa
l I Sa Saruga is Sa r u Ga lisasaruga
dot com. Right now, if you go to the website,
you can get access to a playlist of soothing songs
(13:28):
that just really speak to the heart of those who
have experienced trauma. You'll also get the journaling techniques, and
I'm putting on some recordings that will walk you through
progressive muscle relaxation and sensory work that just kind of
calms calms the mind.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Lisasiruga dot com, Lisasaruga dot com, Lisa, thank you so
much for sharing with us how we can begin the
path to healing after trauma, and thank you for listening.
Won't you join me again? I'm your host, Michael Leach,
and I am praying for you and praying that the
rest of your day is wonderful. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
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