June 16, 2025 • 14 mins
The Importance of Teachers In The Positive Formation Of Children & Strategies To Be A Greater Teacher
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Starcaars, a weekly program that delves into the
issues that impact you and your family. This program is
the public affairs feature of this radio station. Now here's
your host, Michael Leach.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This edition of the show today is dedicated to those
who teach others, all teachers everywhere. Do you want to
make a positive and lasting impact as a teacher and
what are some of the strategies that can help you
to achieve that goal. Let's talk about it. My guest
today is psychologist and author doctor Kevin Lehman. Doctor Leman,
Welcome to the show, and thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Oh Michael, it's my pleasure. I've been looking forward to those.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
To name a few. You've connected with other shows too,
like Good Morning America, Fox and Friends, The View, OPRAH,
The seven hundred Club, CNN, and Focus on the Family.
And now you're joining me on my show. And I
want to tell you, sir, what an honor.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Well, listen, there's a pleasure to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
You have co authored a resource entitled be a Great
Teacher by Friday, Five winning plays to spark world changing potential.
What motivated that writing star, Well.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I graduated fourth of my class, Michael, but it was
fourth in the bottom and not fourth in the top.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
That was the problem.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
And she pulled me aside in my April of my
senior year and she said, Kevin, do you think you
could ever use those skills you have for something positive
in life?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Now? No teacher ever said to me I had skills.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
That was the first time a teacher really ever interacted
with me in a positive way. In your intro, you
know you're asking your listeners do you want to be influential
a difference maker in people's lives? And I love our teachers.
Teachers are underappreciated. So the motivation to do this book
was heartfelt. It was fun to do, and I want
to honor teachers in every way.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
So you say that masterful teachers prompt students to learn
for themselves. Can you explain that further?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Here's the thing about teaching. They don't care what you
know until they know you care. So the teaching profession
is all about the three hours. Three hours are relationship,
relationship relationship. The book title The A Great tea Teacher
by Friday could probably be entitled how to be Successful
in Life? Because if you want to be successful in life,
you have to really understand what life's all about. It's
(02:09):
not about you. It's about being a servant to other people,
being joyful for other people's success, for being a team member. No,
you only get one chance to make a first impression,
and you're yes, better be yes.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And you no better be No. What you just heard
was biblical.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
You know what I've learned as a speaker is I
never say a word until everything is absolutely quiet. And
that's one of the things I try to tell teachers
that you need to understand it. You need to establish
your authority in the classroom. Not as an authoritarian. We
all grew up with that. That doesn't work very well today,
and certainly not as a permissive It's that wonderful midpoint.
And for all those people of faith out there, here's
(02:45):
a question for you for the day. Is God an authoritarian? No,
he's not, but he is a supreme authority. So our
model is to be an authority and be in a
position where we really can be influential in those kids' lives.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So let's talk about birth order, because you believe that
birth order is really important and can actually help you
to manage a classroom setting. What is birth order, first
of all, and then how can it help motivate students.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
All these little cubs, Michael come out of the same den,
but look how different they are. Look at your family,
the family you grew up in, or your friend's family.
The first two kids in the family are night and
day different. Nonprobability. Firstborn children tend to be reliable, conscientious,
they're list makers. There are natural leaders. The youngest children
are great at getting attention. They're manipulative, they're social, they're outgoing.
(03:30):
Only children are firstborns and on steroids. They're little adults
by age seven. Middle children are sort of the peanut,
butter and jelly the sandwich. They get along with everybody.
So as a teacher, don't sit kids alphabetically. Take a
look at their birth orders. Do you really want three
or four babies of the family in the back of
the classroom together, You better not do that. You better
put a couple first borns in between them. That keeps
(03:52):
some law and order. So, whether it's in sales, business, marriage,
relationships with your kids, you need to get behind the
eyes of that firstborn, of that middle child, of that
youngest child and see how they see life, because if
you want to be a great teacher to them, you
have to understand how they see things. Firstborn children tend
to be perfectionistic.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
What do you do with a kid.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Who freaks out because he got one wrong on a
test of fifty items? Do you know how to calm
that kid down? Do you know how to talk with
them in such a way that he learns to pursue
excellence and not perfection? Perfection quite frankly, Michael, it's not
good for anybody. And there was one perfect one and
he walked on water, and we know who he was.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
The rest of us are very imperfect people.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Birth order can be a great way of figuring out
how to go about your relationship with each individual child
in your classroom.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
You kind of refer to this a little bit before,
But how can you build a respectful, actively engaged classroom community.
What are some best ways for that?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
You have to sort of know your class, and most
teachers will tell you know, this class is so different
than the last year's class, and it's true, they all
have their own personality. Teachers, again, you have to walk
that fine line. We call it vitamin E.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
If you've got to be encouraging the kids. That's one side.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
But the flip side of that is every kid needs
vitamin N which is no and that provides you, as
a teacher with a balance. You need to be an
authority so the kids will listen to you. But the
question for the teachers is this, do you listen to
your students? Do you listen to their thoughts? Are you
quick to put them down or criticize them or whatever?
If you do, They're never going to open their mouth
(05:23):
again to you. They're not going to trust you. So
it goes back to this wonderful that begins with an R.
It's relationship. I always say, you build a beautiful cathedral
one brick at a time, and so it is. In
the classroom. Kids have to trust you. Can you entertain kids?
Can you have fun in the classroom? I hope so
it Fund's my middle name. It's not fun, Michael, I
don't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
What do you, doctor Lehman believe are some of the
top issues facing new teachers today?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Oh wow, Well, a couple of things. I call it
the new goliath. That would be the cell phone. If
you want to get them a cell phone, get them
on that doesn't connect to the internet. The social network
today is crazy, and by giving them that cell phone,
you're opening the sewer life to your kids.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I'd be very careful on that.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
What happens in education colleges across the country is we
teach methodology. We don't spend enough time really talking about
Well we're talking about today on your show, Michael, and
that's the relationship part of it.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
That's the most important part.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
You are in a position, teacher to really put an
indelible imprint on your kid's life. And for all adults
listening right now, think of your favorite teacher that you have.
You got that teacher in mind, Well, what were the
words that were described that teacher's personality. If you look
at your life, Michael, you we're talking about you now,
who were the people that had your back no matter what.
(06:36):
There wasn't twenty of them or ten of them. I
can tell you that you're blessed with one, double blessed
with two. If you've got three, you might be telling
a fib I don't know. But what about those people
who encourage us and thought the best of us. That's
the kind of teacher we want to be. We want
to think the best of kids. Because here's the shacker.
If you're a parent today late breaking news, your kid
(06:57):
actually wants to please you. But most parents teach kids
how to behave. So there's times your kids, whether they
be in the classroom or their home, needs to be unhappy.
Why because they violated the rules, the classroom rules or
the rules of the home whatever. So teaching is not
a popularity contest. So you can be friendly, you can
be closed, you can be warm, but you're still an authority.
And that's the tough part for that young teacher. But
(07:18):
I would tell any young teacher to really work toward
being an authority. Be well organized if you're teaching young kids,
the little primers, the first and the ankle biters. Those
little guys, they have short attention spans. So if you
forgot something, you have to walk to the back of
the classroom and then back to the front.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
You've lost them.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Talk to teachers and parents too, how they can cultivate
sort of a win win partnership and support and in
the best interests of the kids.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
All right, let's start with the parents.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
You pick your kid up from school, My first suggestion
is don't ask them any questions. Kids and husbands hate questions.
But here's the conversation. When you pick your kid up
from school.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
How is your day today at school? Honey? Fine? What
you do in school today? Nothing?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Save your breath. And I've had parents say to me, Leman,
what should I say to my kid?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Well? How about hi?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
How about hello? Your kids? They'll tell you what went
on in school. And when you hear something, don't question it,
just say, tell me more about that. Now, here's the
interesting thing about what I just told you. Tell me
more about that as a command. But it doesn't put
up the defenses in your husband, ladies, or your kids.
So you want open conversation.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
You got to be.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Interested in what your kids are interested in. You got
to be a good listener. Is there times you want
to take your kids out back and string them up? Yes,
I have five children.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You spoke to what parents can do in engaging with
their children. What can teachers do to also promote that
win win partnership with parents?
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Don't just map things out for kids. We want to
teach you to be critical thinkers. Recently, as one of
my schools, in a sixth grader game running down the hallway,
doctor Liman, Doctor Lehman, you got to see the newspaper
we published. And the sixth grade was so proud of
themselves they published their own newspaper and handed it out
the schools.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Well, this kid.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Assignment was the interview Genghis Khan's father. He had to
create the conversation based upon history. The kids had copy editors,
they had the head editor. They learned how to do stuff.
When we have plays at our school. The audio director
at last year's play was a seventh grader. The lighting
director was an eighth grader. So giving kids on hand's assignment,
(09:21):
the less talking you're doing teacher in the classroom, the
more learning is taking place. Create situations where kids have teams.
Let the kids work on things. Today because of that
new goliath, that cell phone, kids don't learn to do
math problems like they used to.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
They hit your computer. Kids don't learn to talk like
we used to. They just text.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
We live in arms length relationships. So again that teacher
has to be like a sponge because when the kids
want to talk. And again, parents, when your kids want
to talk, they want to talk, you better listen. Same
goes in the classroom. Get their ideas, don't shoot them
out of the water. Learn to say, tell me more
about that. When you say tell me more about that,
rather than ask a question like why why always put.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
The defenses up? Tell me more about it?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Says you care about what I think and what I say,
and that's what you want to have happened in the classroom.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Doctor Lee, mean you believe that children will rise to
our expectations of them. I believe that too. Just emphasize
that a little bit more for us.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Yeah, well, it's true, and it goes back to what
I said earlier that whether you're a classroom teacher or
a parent, you have to understand these kids really want
to please you. Let them please you. That gives them
gratification and late breaking news. Praise is destructive with children.
Now I'm going to say that again because most people
don't believe what I just said. Praise is destructive with children.
(10:39):
If you want to praise something in life, praise God.
He is worthy of our praise. People are not. You
put them on a pedestal, all they could do is
fall off. Let me give you an example. A kid
turns in a paper and it's really nicely done, and
a teacher you go way way overboard. He said, Oh
my gosh, it's the best paper ever. Say, Oh my gosh,
you know what, I'm going to call your mother right now.
(11:01):
I'm going to call her as soon as school's out.
I'm going to tell her what a great job you did.
You are just a marvelous Oh, this is exemplary. This
is exemplary. Well, you're praising the kid. Well, people say,
what's wrong with that, layman? Well, what if he didn't
do well? His worth is tied to your evaluation of him. Now,
if you want to use encouragement rather than praise, you
(11:23):
look at that and you say, you know, Michael, you
did a great job on that. All that hard work
you put in really paid off. Congratulations. That's encouragement, that's
vitamin E. The takeaway for the student is teacher appreciates
what I did.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Same thing that.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
When those five a's come home on the report card.
As a parent and you say five a's, I can't
believe it. I'm calling your dad right now, and Aunt
Martha and grandma, Oh, this is wonderfully You're the best
kid in the whole world.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Here's twenty dollars. So you not only praised him, you
rewarded him. What's wrong with that?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Layman, Well, how about you just, honey, it looks like
all that work he did really paid off. Congratulations. That's
got to feel good inside. And guess what, parents, you
just save yourself twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
So the point here is, yes, encourage our children, but
let's not over praise them, doctor Leman. If there was
one thing that you want us, as parent teachers and
formal teachers in the classroom to remember, if there was
only one thing we can remember about our time together today,
what's the most important thing you want us to walk
away with.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Well, if you find yourself talking down to your children
or your students, just know this for sure, they're not listening.
You have to have established what I call it equality
in the classroom. It's built upon mutual respect, admiration for
each other, a willingness to listen, and a willingness to
say I'm sorry I misspoke.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
If those things are in play, you've.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Got a chance at having that word we throw around
relationship with those kids. And for all you parents who
are blessed to have good teachers teaching your children. Always
the last time you called them, always, the last time
you sent them a note. What's the last time you
gave them a little gift of appreciation. But more than
the gift, that's the words you say, thank you for
(12:59):
me a difference in my son or daughter's life. Teachers
should be paid in pure gold and silver bullia. They
are worth every dime we give them. We should give
them more. So again, go back. It's all about relationships, Michael.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
How come we learn more about what we've discussed today,
doctor Leman? And how can we get a copy of
your resource?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Well?
Speaker 4 (13:18):
The best thing these days, if there's bookstores around, it's
in every bookstore. You can always get them on Amazon.
People should know. I have a podcast it's called Have
a New Kid by Friday. We talk about marriage and
parenthood and life in general, and you get that on
Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. And it's just a
conversation with myself and a young couple who has kids
(13:40):
and we talk about life and people seem to like it.
So I have a website called birth Orderguide dot com.
Birth orderguide dot com.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
People can take a look at that.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Birth order guide dot com, birth order guide dot com.
Doctor Kevin Leman, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
My pleasure. I've enjoyed talking to you, Michael, we do
it again, and thank.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You for listening. Won't you join me again? I'm your host,
Michael Leach, and I am praying for you and praying
that the rest of your day is wonderful.
Welcome to Starcaars, a weekly program that delves into the
issues that impact you and your family. This program is
the public affairs feature of this radio station. Now here's
your host, Michael Leach.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
This edition of the show today is dedicated to those
who teach others, all teachers everywhere. Do you want to
make a positive and lasting impact as a teacher and
what are some of the strategies that can help you
to achieve that goal. Let's talk about it. My guest
today is psychologist and author doctor Kevin Lehman. Doctor Leman,
Welcome to the show, and thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Oh Michael, it's my pleasure. I've been looking forward to those.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
To name a few. You've connected with other shows too,
like Good Morning America, Fox and Friends, The View, OPRAH,
The seven hundred Club, CNN, and Focus on the Family.
And now you're joining me on my show. And I
want to tell you, sir, what an honor.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Well, listen, there's a pleasure to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
You have co authored a resource entitled be a Great
Teacher by Friday, Five winning plays to spark world changing potential.
What motivated that writing star, Well.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I graduated fourth of my class, Michael, but it was
fourth in the bottom and not fourth in the top.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
That was the problem.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
And she pulled me aside in my April of my
senior year and she said, Kevin, do you think you
could ever use those skills you have for something positive
in life?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Now? No teacher ever said to me I had skills.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
That was the first time a teacher really ever interacted
with me in a positive way. In your intro, you
know you're asking your listeners do you want to be influential
a difference maker in people's lives? And I love our teachers.
Teachers are underappreciated. So the motivation to do this book
was heartfelt. It was fun to do, and I want
to honor teachers in every way.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
So you say that masterful teachers prompt students to learn
for themselves. Can you explain that further?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Here's the thing about teaching. They don't care what you
know until they know you care. So the teaching profession
is all about the three hours. Three hours are relationship,
relationship relationship. The book title The A Great tea Teacher
by Friday could probably be entitled how to be Successful
in Life? Because if you want to be successful in life,
you have to really understand what life's all about. It's
(02:09):
not about you. It's about being a servant to other people,
being joyful for other people's success, for being a team member. No,
you only get one chance to make a first impression,
and you're yes, better be yes.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And you no better be No. What you just heard
was biblical.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
You know what I've learned as a speaker is I
never say a word until everything is absolutely quiet. And
that's one of the things I try to tell teachers
that you need to understand it. You need to establish
your authority in the classroom. Not as an authoritarian. We
all grew up with that. That doesn't work very well today,
and certainly not as a permissive It's that wonderful midpoint.
And for all those people of faith out there, here's
(02:45):
a question for you for the day. Is God an authoritarian? No,
he's not, but he is a supreme authority. So our
model is to be an authority and be in a
position where we really can be influential in those kids' lives.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So let's talk about birth order, because you believe that
birth order is really important and can actually help you
to manage a classroom setting. What is birth order, first
of all, and then how can it help motivate students.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
All these little cubs, Michael come out of the same den,
but look how different they are. Look at your family,
the family you grew up in, or your friend's family.
The first two kids in the family are night and
day different. Nonprobability. Firstborn children tend to be reliable, conscientious,
they're list makers. There are natural leaders. The youngest children
are great at getting attention. They're manipulative, they're social, they're outgoing.
(03:30):
Only children are firstborns and on steroids. They're little adults
by age seven. Middle children are sort of the peanut,
butter and jelly the sandwich. They get along with everybody.
So as a teacher, don't sit kids alphabetically. Take a
look at their birth orders. Do you really want three
or four babies of the family in the back of
the classroom together, You better not do that. You better
put a couple first borns in between them. That keeps
(03:52):
some law and order. So, whether it's in sales, business, marriage,
relationships with your kids, you need to get behind the
eyes of that firstborn, of that middle child, of that
youngest child and see how they see life, because if
you want to be a great teacher to them, you
have to understand how they see things. Firstborn children tend
to be perfectionistic.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
What do you do with a kid.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Who freaks out because he got one wrong on a
test of fifty items? Do you know how to calm
that kid down? Do you know how to talk with
them in such a way that he learns to pursue
excellence and not perfection? Perfection quite frankly, Michael, it's not
good for anybody. And there was one perfect one and
he walked on water, and we know who he was.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
The rest of us are very imperfect people.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Birth order can be a great way of figuring out
how to go about your relationship with each individual child
in your classroom.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
You kind of refer to this a little bit before,
But how can you build a respectful, actively engaged classroom community.
What are some best ways for that?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
You have to sort of know your class, and most
teachers will tell you know, this class is so different
than the last year's class, and it's true, they all
have their own personality. Teachers, again, you have to walk
that fine line. We call it vitamin E.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
If you've got to be encouraging the kids. That's one side.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
But the flip side of that is every kid needs
vitamin N which is no and that provides you, as
a teacher with a balance. You need to be an
authority so the kids will listen to you. But the
question for the teachers is this, do you listen to
your students? Do you listen to their thoughts? Are you
quick to put them down or criticize them or whatever?
If you do, They're never going to open their mouth
(05:23):
again to you. They're not going to trust you. So
it goes back to this wonderful that begins with an R.
It's relationship. I always say, you build a beautiful cathedral
one brick at a time, and so it is. In
the classroom. Kids have to trust you. Can you entertain kids?
Can you have fun in the classroom? I hope so
it Fund's my middle name. It's not fun, Michael, I
don't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
What do you, doctor Lehman believe are some of the
top issues facing new teachers today?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Oh wow, Well, a couple of things. I call it
the new goliath. That would be the cell phone. If
you want to get them a cell phone, get them
on that doesn't connect to the internet. The social network
today is crazy, and by giving them that cell phone,
you're opening the sewer life to your kids.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I'd be very careful on that.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
What happens in education colleges across the country is we
teach methodology. We don't spend enough time really talking about
Well we're talking about today on your show, Michael, and
that's the relationship part of it.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
That's the most important part.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
You are in a position, teacher to really put an
indelible imprint on your kid's life. And for all adults
listening right now, think of your favorite teacher that you have.
You got that teacher in mind, Well, what were the
words that were described that teacher's personality. If you look
at your life, Michael, you we're talking about you now,
who were the people that had your back no matter what.
(06:36):
There wasn't twenty of them or ten of them. I
can tell you that you're blessed with one, double blessed
with two. If you've got three, you might be telling
a fib I don't know. But what about those people
who encourage us and thought the best of us. That's
the kind of teacher we want to be. We want
to think the best of kids. Because here's the shacker.
If you're a parent today late breaking news, your kid
(06:57):
actually wants to please you. But most parents teach kids
how to behave. So there's times your kids, whether they
be in the classroom or their home, needs to be unhappy.
Why because they violated the rules, the classroom rules or
the rules of the home whatever. So teaching is not
a popularity contest. So you can be friendly, you can
be closed, you can be warm, but you're still an authority.
And that's the tough part for that young teacher. But
(07:18):
I would tell any young teacher to really work toward
being an authority. Be well organized if you're teaching young kids,
the little primers, the first and the ankle biters. Those
little guys, they have short attention spans. So if you
forgot something, you have to walk to the back of
the classroom and then back to the front.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
You've lost them.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Talk to teachers and parents too, how they can cultivate
sort of a win win partnership and support and in
the best interests of the kids.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
All right, let's start with the parents.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
You pick your kid up from school, My first suggestion
is don't ask them any questions. Kids and husbands hate questions.
But here's the conversation. When you pick your kid up
from school.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
How is your day today at school? Honey? Fine? What
you do in school today? Nothing?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Save your breath. And I've had parents say to me, Leman,
what should I say to my kid?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Well? How about hi?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
How about hello? Your kids? They'll tell you what went
on in school. And when you hear something, don't question it,
just say, tell me more about that. Now, here's the
interesting thing about what I just told you. Tell me
more about that as a command. But it doesn't put
up the defenses in your husband, ladies, or your kids.
So you want open conversation.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
You got to be.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Interested in what your kids are interested in. You got
to be a good listener. Is there times you want
to take your kids out back and string them up? Yes,
I have five children.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You spoke to what parents can do in engaging with
their children. What can teachers do to also promote that
win win partnership with parents?
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Don't just map things out for kids. We want to
teach you to be critical thinkers. Recently, as one of
my schools, in a sixth grader game running down the hallway,
doctor Liman, Doctor Lehman, you got to see the newspaper
we published. And the sixth grade was so proud of
themselves they published their own newspaper and handed it out
the schools.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Well, this kid.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Assignment was the interview Genghis Khan's father. He had to
create the conversation based upon history. The kids had copy editors,
they had the head editor. They learned how to do stuff.
When we have plays at our school. The audio director
at last year's play was a seventh grader. The lighting
director was an eighth grader. So giving kids on hand's assignment,
(09:21):
the less talking you're doing teacher in the classroom, the
more learning is taking place. Create situations where kids have teams.
Let the kids work on things. Today because of that
new goliath, that cell phone, kids don't learn to do
math problems like they used to.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
They hit your computer. Kids don't learn to talk like
we used to. They just text.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
We live in arms length relationships. So again that teacher
has to be like a sponge because when the kids
want to talk. And again, parents, when your kids want
to talk, they want to talk, you better listen. Same
goes in the classroom. Get their ideas, don't shoot them
out of the water. Learn to say, tell me more
about that. When you say tell me more about that,
rather than ask a question like why why always put.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
The defenses up? Tell me more about it?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Says you care about what I think and what I say,
and that's what you want to have happened in the classroom.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Doctor Lee, mean you believe that children will rise to
our expectations of them. I believe that too. Just emphasize
that a little bit more for us.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Yeah, well, it's true, and it goes back to what
I said earlier that whether you're a classroom teacher or
a parent, you have to understand these kids really want
to please you. Let them please you. That gives them
gratification and late breaking news. Praise is destructive with children.
Now I'm going to say that again because most people
don't believe what I just said. Praise is destructive with children.
(10:39):
If you want to praise something in life, praise God.
He is worthy of our praise. People are not. You
put them on a pedestal, all they could do is
fall off. Let me give you an example. A kid
turns in a paper and it's really nicely done, and
a teacher you go way way overboard. He said, Oh
my gosh, it's the best paper ever. Say, Oh my gosh,
you know what, I'm going to call your mother right now.
(11:01):
I'm going to call her as soon as school's out.
I'm going to tell her what a great job you did.
You are just a marvelous Oh, this is exemplary. This
is exemplary. Well, you're praising the kid. Well, people say,
what's wrong with that, layman? Well, what if he didn't
do well? His worth is tied to your evaluation of him. Now,
if you want to use encouragement rather than praise, you
(11:23):
look at that and you say, you know, Michael, you
did a great job on that. All that hard work
you put in really paid off. Congratulations. That's encouragement, that's
vitamin E. The takeaway for the student is teacher appreciates
what I did.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Same thing that.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
When those five a's come home on the report card.
As a parent and you say five a's, I can't
believe it. I'm calling your dad right now, and Aunt
Martha and grandma, Oh, this is wonderfully You're the best
kid in the whole world.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Here's twenty dollars. So you not only praised him, you
rewarded him. What's wrong with that?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Layman, Well, how about you just, honey, it looks like
all that work he did really paid off. Congratulations. That's
got to feel good inside. And guess what, parents, you
just save yourself twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
So the point here is, yes, encourage our children, but
let's not over praise them, doctor Leman. If there was
one thing that you want us, as parent teachers and
formal teachers in the classroom to remember, if there was
only one thing we can remember about our time together today,
what's the most important thing you want us to walk
away with.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Well, if you find yourself talking down to your children
or your students, just know this for sure, they're not listening.
You have to have established what I call it equality
in the classroom. It's built upon mutual respect, admiration for
each other, a willingness to listen, and a willingness to
say I'm sorry I misspoke.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
If those things are in play, you've.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
Got a chance at having that word we throw around
relationship with those kids. And for all you parents who
are blessed to have good teachers teaching your children. Always
the last time you called them, always, the last time
you sent them a note. What's the last time you
gave them a little gift of appreciation. But more than
the gift, that's the words you say, thank you for
(12:59):
me a difference in my son or daughter's life. Teachers
should be paid in pure gold and silver bullia. They
are worth every dime we give them. We should give
them more. So again, go back. It's all about relationships, Michael.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
How come we learn more about what we've discussed today,
doctor Leman? And how can we get a copy of
your resource?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Well?
Speaker 4 (13:18):
The best thing these days, if there's bookstores around, it's
in every bookstore. You can always get them on Amazon.
People should know. I have a podcast it's called Have
a New Kid by Friday. We talk about marriage and
parenthood and life in general, and you get that on
Spotify or wherever you get podcasts. And it's just a
conversation with myself and a young couple who has kids
(13:40):
and we talk about life and people seem to like it.
So I have a website called birth Orderguide dot com.
Birth orderguide dot com.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
People can take a look at that.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Birth order guide dot com, birth order guide dot com.
Doctor Kevin Leman, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
My pleasure. I've enjoyed talking to you, Michael, we do
it again, and thank.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You for listening. Won't you join me again? I'm your host,
Michael Leach, and I am praying for you and praying
that the rest of your day is wonderful.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.