November 26, 2024 • 15 mins
Welcome to Day 15 of the “Start Thinking Forward” 22-Day Challenge! In today’s episode, host Brandon L. Draper brings a fresh, witty, and transformative perspective to one of life’s most elusive qualities: confidence.
Whether you’ve struggled with self-doubt, overthought every decision, or been afraid to step into your potential, this episode is here to show you that confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build.
With powerful insights, laugh-out-loud moments, and actionable strategies, Brandon unpacks how to cultivate unshakable self-belief. This isn’t your typical self-help talk—get ready for unexpected twists, practical exercises, and stories that inspire transformation. If you’re ready to stop playing small, embrace your greatness, and laugh along the way, this episode is for you.
Special thanks to our sponsor, Serebro AI, for empowering individuals with the tools to track growth, build systems, and master their confidence. Tune in daily to the Start Thinking Forward Podcast at 7:30 AM EST, and don’t miss our AI Weekly News Recap segment every Saturday. Become a paid supporter for $11.99 to help us continue bringing you life-changing content.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/start-thinking-forward-podcast--1229199/support.
Whether you’ve struggled with self-doubt, overthought every decision, or been afraid to step into your potential, this episode is here to show you that confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build.
With powerful insights, laugh-out-loud moments, and actionable strategies, Brandon unpacks how to cultivate unshakable self-belief. This isn’t your typical self-help talk—get ready for unexpected twists, practical exercises, and stories that inspire transformation. If you’re ready to stop playing small, embrace your greatness, and laugh along the way, this episode is for you.
Special thanks to our sponsor, Serebro AI, for empowering individuals with the tools to track growth, build systems, and master their confidence. Tune in daily to the Start Thinking Forward Podcast at 7:30 AM EST, and don’t miss our AI Weekly News Recap segment every Saturday. Become a paid supporter for $11.99 to help us continue bringing you life-changing content.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/start-thinking-forward-podcast--1229199/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Start Thinking Forward podcast. I'm your host,
Brandon L. Draper, and today is day fifteen of our
twenty two day challenge. If you've been with us from
the beginning, you already know this change isn't for the
feint of heart. But today we're tackling something that might
just be the foundation of it all. Confidence. Let me
(00:23):
ask you something, when was the last time you felt
truly confident. I'm not talking about fake it till you
make it confidence. I'm talking about that unshakable I've got
this belief that makes you feel unstoppable. If you're like
most people, it's been a while. But here's the thing.
Confidence isn't something you're born with. It's something you build.
(00:45):
And just like any construction project, building confidence takes tools,
a blueprint, and let's be honest, a few laughs along
the way. So today we're gonna break it all down.
We're gonna tackle the science of confidence, laugh at the
absurdity of our our own insecurities, and walk away with
a blueprint to build self belief. That last sound good.
(01:07):
Let's dive in. Before we go any further, let's clear
up one big misconception. Confidence isn't a personality trait. I
hear this all the time. I'm just not a confident person.
Let me tell you something. That's like saying I'm just
not a person who works out. Sure, maybe you're not
working out yet, but that doesn't mean you can't start.
(01:27):
Confidence is a skill, not a gift from the universe.
It's not reserved for extroverts, influencers, or that annoyingly charismatic
coworker who seems to crush every meeting the overconfident disaster.
In fact, too much confidence can be a problem. Remember
that one person who thought they could do karaoke but
(01:48):
ended up clearing the bar. Yeah, confidence without competence is
just embarrassing. Confidence is about balance. It's not about thinking
you're better than everyone else. It's about knowing you're capable
and being willing to learn when you're not. Let's get
into the neuroscience for a second. Confidence isn't just a feeling.
(02:10):
It's a function of your brain's wiring. When you accomplish something,
your brain releases dopamine, the feel good chemical. This reinforces
the behavior, making you more likely to try again. But
here's the twist. You don't need a big win to
trigger this effect. Small wins like completing a task, trying
(02:31):
something new, or even just showing up can boost your
confidence over time the confidence loop. In her book The
Confidence Code, Caddy k and Claire Shipman talk about the
confidence loop. Action builds confidence, which leads to more action,
which builds even more confidence. The key start small. You
(02:54):
don't need to climb Mount Everest to feel confident. You
just need to take the first step the confidence micro win.
Think of one small thing you've been avoiding, something simple
like making a phone call or speaking up in a meeting.
Do it today, just one small action. Notice how it
(03:16):
feels to accomplish it, and let that feeling fuel your
next step. Let's talk about humor for a second, because
nothing kills confidence faster than taking yourself too seriously. We
all mess up, we all have moments when we trip
over our own feet, literally and metaphorically. But here's the secret.
(03:36):
Confident people know how to laugh at themselves, the power
of self deprecation. I remember the first time I bombed
a speech. I was sweating, stumbling over my words and
completely blanked on a key point. Instead of panicking, I
stopped and said, well, this is going great. The audience laughed.
I laughed, and guess what I recovered. Humor doesn't just
(03:59):
make you likable, it makes you resilient. When you can
laugh at yourself, failure loses its sting finding the funny.
Think about a recent mistake you made. Now tell the
story as if it were a comedy routine. What's the punchline?
How can you find humor in the situation. This isn't
(04:20):
about minimizing the challenge. It's about shifting your perspective and
realizing that mistakes are part of the journey. Let's address
the elephant in the room overthinking. Overthinking is the enemy
of confidence. It's the voice in your head that says,
what if I fail? What if I look stupid? What
(04:42):
if everyone judges me? But here's the thing. Most of
the time, people aren't thinking about you. They're too busy
worrying about themselves the spotlight effect. Psychologists call this the
spotlight effect, the tendency to overestimate how much people notice
your mistakes. In reality, people aren't analyzing your every move,
(05:05):
So stop letting imaginary critics holds you back, shutting down overthinking.
Next time you catch yourself overthinking, ask yourself, what's the
worst that could happen. Write down your answer, and then
write down how you'd handle it. This simple exercise shifts
(05:26):
your focus from fear to problem solving. Let's dive deep
into one of the most pervasive confidence killers out there overthinking.
Overthinking is that mental hamster wheel you hop on when
you overanalyze second guests and spiral into a pit of
what ifs. It's the internal dialogue that turns simple decisions
(05:48):
into exhausting mental marathons. But here's the kicker. Overthinking rarely
leads to clarity or solutions. In fact, it does the opposite.
It keeps you stuck, anxious, and paralyzed. Today we're going
to laser focus on overthinking, what it is, why we
do it, and most importantly, how to stop it. This
(06:12):
is about reclaiming your mental space and using your energy
for action instead of analysis. Overthinking is excessive rumination on
a thought, situation, or decision. It's like replaying a scene
in your mind on an endless loop, hoping you'll find
something new, but instead you just end up exhausted. Think
(06:35):
about the last time you overthought something. Maybe it was
a text you sent, a presentation you gave, or a
decision you had to make How many times did you
replay the scenario in your head? How much time and
energy did you waste imagining outcomes that never even happened.
(06:55):
Overthinking isn't just an annoying habit, it's a biological response.
When you overthink, your brain's prefrontal cortex, which handles decision
making and problem solving, goes into overdrive. At the same
time you're amygdala, the brain's fear center, kicks in, amplifying
your worries. This creates a feedback loop. You overanalyze because
(07:18):
you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're over analyzing. The
paradox of analysis paralysis. Studies from the Journal of Behavioral
Decision Making show that overthinking or analysis paralysis actually reduces
decision making quality. Why because overthinking floods your brain with
(07:40):
too much information, making it harder to focus on what's
truly important. The job interview spiral. Let's take an example.
Imagine you just had a job interview. Afterward, you start
overthinking did I talk too much? Should I have answered
that question differently? What if they didn't like me. By
(08:04):
the end of the day, you've convinced yourself you've blown it,
even though the interviewer might have walked away impressed. This
is the trap of overthinking. It makes you believe your
fears are facts, even when they're just feelings. Overthinking often
stems from one or more of the following fear of failure.
(08:28):
We overthink because we're afraid of making mistakes or being judged. Perfectionism.
We want everything to be flawless, so we analyze every
detail to avoid imperfection. Lack of confidence. When we don't
trust ourselves, we seek reassurance by over analyzing our choices.
(08:51):
The illusion of control. Overthinking gives us a false sense
of control, as if worrying about something will prevent it
from going wrong. The spotlight effects. Psychologists have identified something
called the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to overestimate
how much others notice or care about our actions. For example,
(09:13):
if you trip while walking down the street, you might
obsess over it, imagining that everyone saw and judged you.
In reality, most people didn't notice, or if they did,
they forgot about it in seconds. The spotlight effect fuels
overthinking by making us believe we're under constant scrutiny. Overthinking
(09:34):
isn't harmless. It comes with real consequences paralysis by analysis,
you become so consumed with thinking that you fail to act,
increased anxiety. Overthinking amplifies your fears and creates unnecessary stress,
lost time and energy. The hours spent over analyzing could
(09:55):
have been used for productive actions, missed opportunities. By overthinking thinking,
you often talk yourself out of taking risks or seizing opportunities.
The good news, overthinking is a habit, and like any habit,
it can be changed. Here are five strategies to break
the cycle. One of the easiest ways to stop overthinking
(10:19):
is to limit how much time you spend on a decision.
For example, give yourself thirty minutes to weigh your options
and then commit to making a choice. This reduces the
risk of falling into a loop of endless analysis. The
decision timer. Next time you're stuck overthinking a decision, set
(10:40):
a timer for ten minutes, write down the pros and cons,
and when the timer goes off, make your choice. Overthinking
often involves worrying about things outside your control. Instead of
fixating on what ifs, ask yourself what can I do
right now to move forward? Gifts your focus from fear
(11:01):
to action. The college application spiral a student applying to
colleges might overthink every detail, what if I don't get in,
what if my essay isn't good enough? Instead of spiraling,
they can focus on what's within their control, polishing their application,
studying for tests, and reaching out to mentors for feedback.
(11:26):
Reframing is a powerful tool for breaking free from overthinking.
Instead of seeing a situation as a problem, try to
see it as an opportunity for growth. At failed presentation,
imagine you bomb a presentation at work. Instead of overthinking
every mistake, reframe it. What can I learn from this
(11:49):
to do better next time. Reframing shifts your focus from
self criticism to self improvement. The fastest way to stop
overthinking is to take action. Even small steps like making
a phone call, sending an email, or writing down your
thoughts can break the cycle of rumination. The two minute rule,
(12:13):
if something takes less than two minutes to do, do
it immediately. This prevents tasks from piling up and becoming
fuel for overthinking. Overthinking often comes from being too hard
on yourself. When you catch yourself spiraling, pause and ask
would I talk to a friend this way, practicing self
(12:34):
compassion reduces the pressure to be perfect and helps you
move forward with confidence. The recovering perfectionist. I once worked
with a client who couldn't send an email without overthinking
every word. She'd spend hours revising, only to delete it
out of fear it wasn't good enough. We worked on
self compassion and she started telling herself done is better
(12:58):
than perfect. Over time, she built the confidence to act
without overthinking. Overthinking often comes from a lack of clarity.
That's where cerebra Ai comes in. This platform helps you
organize your business, track your progress, and focus on what
truly matters. Now that we've debunked some myths, laughed at ourselves,
(13:23):
and tackled overthinking, let's build your confidence blueprint. This blueprint
has three pillars, action, mindset, and environment. One action confidence
through doing. Confidence doesn't come from thinking. It comes from doing.
Start with small, manageable steps and celebrate every win, no
(13:46):
matter how small. Two mindset reframing challenges. Confidence isn't about
avoiding challenges, It's about reframing them and instead of saying
I can't do this, try I'm learning how to do this.
Three Environment surrounding yourself with positivity. Confidence is contagious. Surround
(14:09):
yourself with people who uplift, support and challenge you to grow.
Building your confidence blueprint. Write down one action, one mindset shift,
and one environmental change you can make today to build
your confidence. For example, action speak up in one meeting.
Mindset replace I'm bad at this with I'm improving environment
(14:36):
Spend less time with negative people and more time with
supportive ones. Confidence is a journey and having the right
tools can make all the difference. That's where cerebro Ai
comes in. This platform helps you track your business, set goals,
and build systems to support your growth. If you're serious
about building unshakable self belief, check us out at se
(15:00):
ebr dot Ai. Final challenge your overthinking Reset. Here's your
challenge for today. Think about one area of your life
where you tend to overthink. Write down what triggers your overthinking.
What action you can take to interrupt the cycle. How
you will reframe the situation to focus on growth. Commit
(15:24):
to breaking the cycle one thought at a time. Overthinking
is a habit, not a life sentence. With the right
tools and mindset, you can break free and reclaim your confidence.
If this episode resonated with you, share it. Let's inspire
others to stop overthinking and start taking action. Until next time,
keep moving forward, keep thinking forward, and keep showing up
(15:48):
for yourself.
Welcome back to the Start Thinking Forward podcast. I'm your host,
Brandon L. Draper, and today is day fifteen of our
twenty two day challenge. If you've been with us from
the beginning, you already know this change isn't for the
feint of heart. But today we're tackling something that might
just be the foundation of it all. Confidence. Let me
(00:23):
ask you something, when was the last time you felt
truly confident. I'm not talking about fake it till you
make it confidence. I'm talking about that unshakable I've got
this belief that makes you feel unstoppable. If you're like
most people, it's been a while. But here's the thing.
Confidence isn't something you're born with. It's something you build.
(00:45):
And just like any construction project, building confidence takes tools,
a blueprint, and let's be honest, a few laughs along
the way. So today we're gonna break it all down.
We're gonna tackle the science of confidence, laugh at the
absurdity of our our own insecurities, and walk away with
a blueprint to build self belief. That last sound good.
(01:07):
Let's dive in. Before we go any further, let's clear
up one big misconception. Confidence isn't a personality trait. I
hear this all the time. I'm just not a confident person.
Let me tell you something. That's like saying I'm just
not a person who works out. Sure, maybe you're not
working out yet, but that doesn't mean you can't start.
(01:27):
Confidence is a skill, not a gift from the universe.
It's not reserved for extroverts, influencers, or that annoyingly charismatic
coworker who seems to crush every meeting the overconfident disaster.
In fact, too much confidence can be a problem. Remember
that one person who thought they could do karaoke but
(01:48):
ended up clearing the bar. Yeah, confidence without competence is
just embarrassing. Confidence is about balance. It's not about thinking
you're better than everyone else. It's about knowing you're capable
and being willing to learn when you're not. Let's get
into the neuroscience for a second. Confidence isn't just a feeling.
(02:10):
It's a function of your brain's wiring. When you accomplish something,
your brain releases dopamine, the feel good chemical. This reinforces
the behavior, making you more likely to try again. But
here's the twist. You don't need a big win to
trigger this effect. Small wins like completing a task, trying
(02:31):
something new, or even just showing up can boost your
confidence over time the confidence loop. In her book The
Confidence Code, Caddy k and Claire Shipman talk about the
confidence loop. Action builds confidence, which leads to more action,
which builds even more confidence. The key start small. You
(02:54):
don't need to climb Mount Everest to feel confident. You
just need to take the first step the confidence micro win.
Think of one small thing you've been avoiding, something simple
like making a phone call or speaking up in a meeting.
Do it today, just one small action. Notice how it
(03:16):
feels to accomplish it, and let that feeling fuel your
next step. Let's talk about humor for a second, because
nothing kills confidence faster than taking yourself too seriously. We
all mess up, we all have moments when we trip
over our own feet, literally and metaphorically. But here's the secret.
(03:36):
Confident people know how to laugh at themselves, the power
of self deprecation. I remember the first time I bombed
a speech. I was sweating, stumbling over my words and
completely blanked on a key point. Instead of panicking, I
stopped and said, well, this is going great. The audience laughed.
I laughed, and guess what I recovered. Humor doesn't just
(03:59):
make you likable, it makes you resilient. When you can
laugh at yourself, failure loses its sting finding the funny.
Think about a recent mistake you made. Now tell the
story as if it were a comedy routine. What's the punchline?
How can you find humor in the situation. This isn't
(04:20):
about minimizing the challenge. It's about shifting your perspective and
realizing that mistakes are part of the journey. Let's address
the elephant in the room overthinking. Overthinking is the enemy
of confidence. It's the voice in your head that says,
what if I fail? What if I look stupid? What
(04:42):
if everyone judges me? But here's the thing. Most of
the time, people aren't thinking about you. They're too busy
worrying about themselves the spotlight effect. Psychologists call this the
spotlight effect, the tendency to overestimate how much people notice
your mistakes. In reality, people aren't analyzing your every move,
(05:05):
So stop letting imaginary critics holds you back, shutting down overthinking.
Next time you catch yourself overthinking, ask yourself, what's the
worst that could happen. Write down your answer, and then
write down how you'd handle it. This simple exercise shifts
(05:26):
your focus from fear to problem solving. Let's dive deep
into one of the most pervasive confidence killers out there overthinking.
Overthinking is that mental hamster wheel you hop on when
you overanalyze second guests and spiral into a pit of
what ifs. It's the internal dialogue that turns simple decisions
(05:48):
into exhausting mental marathons. But here's the kicker. Overthinking rarely
leads to clarity or solutions. In fact, it does the opposite.
It keeps you stuck, anxious, and paralyzed. Today we're going
to laser focus on overthinking, what it is, why we
do it, and most importantly, how to stop it. This
(06:12):
is about reclaiming your mental space and using your energy
for action instead of analysis. Overthinking is excessive rumination on
a thought, situation, or decision. It's like replaying a scene
in your mind on an endless loop, hoping you'll find
something new, but instead you just end up exhausted. Think
(06:35):
about the last time you overthought something. Maybe it was
a text you sent, a presentation you gave, or a
decision you had to make How many times did you
replay the scenario in your head? How much time and
energy did you waste imagining outcomes that never even happened.
(06:55):
Overthinking isn't just an annoying habit, it's a biological response.
When you overthink, your brain's prefrontal cortex, which handles decision
making and problem solving, goes into overdrive. At the same
time you're amygdala, the brain's fear center, kicks in, amplifying
your worries. This creates a feedback loop. You overanalyze because
(07:18):
you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're over analyzing. The
paradox of analysis paralysis. Studies from the Journal of Behavioral
Decision Making show that overthinking or analysis paralysis actually reduces
decision making quality. Why because overthinking floods your brain with
(07:40):
too much information, making it harder to focus on what's
truly important. The job interview spiral. Let's take an example.
Imagine you just had a job interview. Afterward, you start
overthinking did I talk too much? Should I have answered
that question differently? What if they didn't like me. By
(08:04):
the end of the day, you've convinced yourself you've blown it,
even though the interviewer might have walked away impressed. This
is the trap of overthinking. It makes you believe your
fears are facts, even when they're just feelings. Overthinking often
stems from one or more of the following fear of failure.
(08:28):
We overthink because we're afraid of making mistakes or being judged. Perfectionism.
We want everything to be flawless, so we analyze every
detail to avoid imperfection. Lack of confidence. When we don't
trust ourselves, we seek reassurance by over analyzing our choices.
(08:51):
The illusion of control. Overthinking gives us a false sense
of control, as if worrying about something will prevent it
from going wrong. The spotlight effects. Psychologists have identified something
called the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to overestimate
how much others notice or care about our actions. For example,
(09:13):
if you trip while walking down the street, you might
obsess over it, imagining that everyone saw and judged you.
In reality, most people didn't notice, or if they did,
they forgot about it in seconds. The spotlight effect fuels
overthinking by making us believe we're under constant scrutiny. Overthinking
(09:34):
isn't harmless. It comes with real consequences paralysis by analysis,
you become so consumed with thinking that you fail to act,
increased anxiety. Overthinking amplifies your fears and creates unnecessary stress,
lost time and energy. The hours spent over analyzing could
(09:55):
have been used for productive actions, missed opportunities. By overthinking thinking,
you often talk yourself out of taking risks or seizing opportunities.
The good news, overthinking is a habit, and like any habit,
it can be changed. Here are five strategies to break
the cycle. One of the easiest ways to stop overthinking
(10:19):
is to limit how much time you spend on a decision.
For example, give yourself thirty minutes to weigh your options
and then commit to making a choice. This reduces the
risk of falling into a loop of endless analysis. The
decision timer. Next time you're stuck overthinking a decision, set
(10:40):
a timer for ten minutes, write down the pros and cons,
and when the timer goes off, make your choice. Overthinking
often involves worrying about things outside your control. Instead of
fixating on what ifs, ask yourself what can I do
right now to move forward? Gifts your focus from fear
(11:01):
to action. The college application spiral a student applying to
colleges might overthink every detail, what if I don't get in,
what if my essay isn't good enough? Instead of spiraling,
they can focus on what's within their control, polishing their application,
studying for tests, and reaching out to mentors for feedback.
(11:26):
Reframing is a powerful tool for breaking free from overthinking.
Instead of seeing a situation as a problem, try to
see it as an opportunity for growth. At failed presentation,
imagine you bomb a presentation at work. Instead of overthinking
every mistake, reframe it. What can I learn from this
(11:49):
to do better next time. Reframing shifts your focus from
self criticism to self improvement. The fastest way to stop
overthinking is to take action. Even small steps like making
a phone call, sending an email, or writing down your
thoughts can break the cycle of rumination. The two minute rule,
(12:13):
if something takes less than two minutes to do, do
it immediately. This prevents tasks from piling up and becoming
fuel for overthinking. Overthinking often comes from being too hard
on yourself. When you catch yourself spiraling, pause and ask
would I talk to a friend this way, practicing self
(12:34):
compassion reduces the pressure to be perfect and helps you
move forward with confidence. The recovering perfectionist. I once worked
with a client who couldn't send an email without overthinking
every word. She'd spend hours revising, only to delete it
out of fear it wasn't good enough. We worked on
self compassion and she started telling herself done is better
(12:58):
than perfect. Over time, she built the confidence to act
without overthinking. Overthinking often comes from a lack of clarity.
That's where cerebra Ai comes in. This platform helps you
organize your business, track your progress, and focus on what
truly matters. Now that we've debunked some myths, laughed at ourselves,
(13:23):
and tackled overthinking, let's build your confidence blueprint. This blueprint
has three pillars, action, mindset, and environment. One action confidence
through doing. Confidence doesn't come from thinking. It comes from doing.
Start with small, manageable steps and celebrate every win, no
(13:46):
matter how small. Two mindset reframing challenges. Confidence isn't about
avoiding challenges, It's about reframing them and instead of saying
I can't do this, try I'm learning how to do this.
Three Environment surrounding yourself with positivity. Confidence is contagious. Surround
(14:09):
yourself with people who uplift, support and challenge you to grow.
Building your confidence blueprint. Write down one action, one mindset shift,
and one environmental change you can make today to build
your confidence. For example, action speak up in one meeting.
Mindset replace I'm bad at this with I'm improving environment
(14:36):
Spend less time with negative people and more time with
supportive ones. Confidence is a journey and having the right
tools can make all the difference. That's where cerebro Ai
comes in. This platform helps you track your business, set goals,
and build systems to support your growth. If you're serious
about building unshakable self belief, check us out at se
(15:00):
ebr dot Ai. Final challenge your overthinking Reset. Here's your
challenge for today. Think about one area of your life
where you tend to overthink. Write down what triggers your overthinking.
What action you can take to interrupt the cycle. How
you will reframe the situation to focus on growth. Commit
(15:24):
to breaking the cycle one thought at a time. Overthinking
is a habit, not a life sentence. With the right
tools and mindset, you can break free and reclaim your confidence.
If this episode resonated with you, share it. Let's inspire
others to stop overthinking and start taking action. Until next time,
keep moving forward, keep thinking forward, and keep showing up
(15:48):
for yourself.
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