April 9, 2025 • 18 mins
Food, faith, and family—Tamela Gill Davis brings all three together in this heartwarming episode of Stay A While. Host Tommi Vincent sits down with the culinary entrepreneur and founder of The F Word to discuss how her love for cooking, rooted in family tradition, has become both a business and a ministry. From tailgates to food trucks, Tamela shares her journey, her passion for feeding others, and how meaningful connections are formed over a plate of good food. Get ready for a conversation full of soul and flavor!
Guest: Tamela Gill Davis
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Don’t miss an episode of "Stay A While"! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform. Stay connected and get the latest updates by following us on Instagram @StayAWhileShow and follow our host Tommi Vincent @cheftommiv. Watch full episodes on our YouTube channel www.youtube.com/@ChefTommiV
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Music By: Stichiz - Big T. Music / Roj & Twinkie
Guest: Tamela Gill Davis
| Powered by The House of Joy |
Subscribe & Follow:
Don’t miss an episode of "Stay A While"! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform. Stay connected and get the latest updates by following us on Instagram @StayAWhileShow and follow our host Tommi Vincent @cheftommiv. Watch full episodes on our YouTube channel www.youtube.com/@ChefTommiV
Join the Conversation:
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode! Share your insights and stories with us using #StayAWhilePodcast on social media.
Music By: Stichiz - Big T. Music / Roj & Twinkie
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to a special edition of Stale Wild, recorded live
on Radio Row at Super Bowl fifty nine. I'm your host,
Tommy Vincent, and we are going to be hearing some
dynamic conversations with phenomenal guests here on Radio Row.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So take a seat, get comfortable in staal wall.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
This episode is sponsored by the House of Joy. Hey everyone,
it's Tommy Vincent, your host of Stale Wild podcast, and
today I have with me my sister friend, Yes, Sonny friends, Yeah,
Tamla Gil Davis, and I'm so grateful to have you
(00:41):
sitting here with me and joining me in conversation one,
because you're just amazing as You're an amazing human being.
But you and I have been really growing and learning
of one another, and I'm fond of you.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm fond of you.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Listen, I'm like been my whole life, oh god, his
whole time.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
But I'm doing what you do.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
But I'm like, Lord, Now, you know, I was crying
out for somebody like this, but quite some time.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You know, timing is everything, and when it's time, it's time.
And I believe that there's a time and a season
for everything, and for whatever reason, you and I are.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Now in relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And one of the things that has been such a
blessing to me is the resourcefulness of the relationship, meaning
it's not transactional, it's relational, but there's value add and
oftentimes you can get into relationships with people and you're
(01:44):
kind of like, I feel like it's one sided, and
I'm at a stage in my life where I don't
I'm not giving and there's no exchange. And so that's
why I'm so grateful for you. And I don't went
into all of that because I'm so excited to have
you here. And I didn't even say who.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
The child is.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yes, she's my sister friend, but she's doing some great stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
She is doing some great stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But I wanted to say that because I wanted you
to know that I appreciate you because I remember you
and I weren't even having the conversation.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I heard you make that same statement of not doing
one side of relationships in a conversation with someone else,
but we had already made our connections. But it's like,
as I observe you, you drop gyms that I'm able
to connect with because most of my life, when I
think about my entire life, most of my relationships have
been one sided in some form or another, and so
(02:41):
it's led me to a lot of compartmentalization.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
With how I deal with people.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yes, and I'm like, I just want to be able
to embrace and create relationships where I'm adding value somebody
else is adding value to me.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I don't have the side.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I wonder like if there's any false intentional year around it,
but just knowing that someone's lifting me up, I'm lifting
them up. And we have similar energy, similar beliefs and
how we like navigating life, and so it's been sweet.
But then that statement, I'm like, God just showing me
more and more, why you drop this gym in my
life during this season of life? And it's like I
(03:18):
think about the time and I'm like, I needed it
a long time ago. But then I'm like, but I
need it so much more even now. And so I
love how intentionally is with how he does things. And
it's always not when you want it, but when he
knows it you needed the most.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Absolutely. Yeah, all right, y'all, So let me just take
it on back, take it on back. So Tamala is
a chef and she her business, Tamla Tailgates, were her
food truck.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Her business is the F word. She saucy.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
She got a business called the F word, but it's
not the F word you're thinking.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And she'll talk about that.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
She's a podcaster, she is an entrepreneur, she is a philanthropist.
What else do you want me to say? She is
all that in a bag of chips, and she's my sister.
And yes, I'm bragging on her because she is like that.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I love it. I love it. I'll say it. I
use it F word, okay, because I know people will
be like, who what you know? I get the all
the times, like what is the F word? So I'm
gonna take people back a little bit.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
When I was growing up, I had a family member
and they would always use the F work that people
and so I remember when I was in college, like
I was doing something one day and.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
That work came out. I was like, oh gosh, I'm
picking up this energy long story, short fast forward. That
was BC.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I call it BCUs before the lawd came and snatched
me up out the pits of the pits. I was
sitting one day and I'm like everything around my life
that i I'm extremely just so in love with, and
I value the most. All started with the letter F
and it was my faith, which means everything to me,
(05:10):
my family, I'm a foodie, we're in football, we're in fitness,
and I'm like, oh my goodness, I'm like, how cool
would it.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Be to take the F word that I did always
use so pleasantly and find a way to use it
that it's going to glory by God, but then also
give people insight of just the things that I value
the most of my life.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
And so that's how I developed the F word.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Okay, well, now y'all know what about this piece of
you that is into food? I mean you and I
know we both had that same one passion but also
gifting because we don't just make food. There is soul
behind the food that we prepare, and we're doing it
with intentionality.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Where did your love for cooking come from?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
My love for cooking actually came from my father and
my two grandmothers. My grandmothers, I watched them over the
course of their lives like cook every single day and
invite everybody in nobody had to worry about where they
were going to get their next meal from. But it
was so much more than food, Like they were nurturing
people's souls. And I was a kid who didn't necessarily
(06:21):
like outside. I'm like, y'all leave in the house.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I won't talk out.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Clean whatever y'all need mean to do, I just don't
want to go. I didn't like kids, and I was
a kid. I don't like them kids. I don't want
to go play with them.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I want them people to talk.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
And so from that, they were intentional about how they
showed me different things, but it was always so much
bigger than food. Well, I sat and watch for a
really long time, and what a lot of people don't know.
For years, I was afraid of a stove because I
have like very high anxiety from time to time. So
as they would try to teach me to cook, I'm like,
I don't want.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
To do it.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I just wanted because of the heat, because of the heat,
because I don't play with danger.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I'm like, you didn't get in travel. I didn't get
in trouble much. I was I was prety good most
of the time. So I'm like, oh, I could get burned,
yet I don't want to get burned.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
So I kind of stayed away from it, but I
watched and I listened, but more than anything. I paid
attention to the energy and the love and the support
and the nurture, and they were doing to everybody who
came in and out of the house. So fast forward,
I go to college and I don't like cafeteria food.
Oh god, that means I really got to start clicking
some of these things I've watched, and so in my
(07:30):
dorm room, which was probably illegal, I went and bought.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
All these electric you know, it was illegal. You know
it was legal, all these electric things. I'm like, all right,
They're like, we smelled some frid chicken. I'm like, yes, my.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Play, I'm frying some chickens tenders because the Capeterian food
and not so good. But from there, I moved off
campus and everybody started wanting to come and be at
my house. And I was like, oh my gosh, I
get an opportunity to do for my fears what my
grandmothers did for so many other people. And so I
always loved hosting and entertaining because I watched them do it.
So I was like, okay, this is the meaning for
(08:05):
the week, y'all tell you what night, y'all coming.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
It got to where people was that every single day.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
And so I was practicing on them, but for me,
it was so feeling and so yueling, because I'm like,
I'm not just giving them a plate of food. It
was the conversations that we had around the food. It
was the questions that they would ask. And then I'm
using life examples of why I'm doing this and that,
and it just developed a love for food for me.
And so after that, I just really started to think, like,
(08:32):
how do I host and entertain other people?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Because whenever I'm interacting, I'm like.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I feel like I have something to give you, and
if I had a plate, it would make it easier
for me to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
And so I started looking for opportunity to do that
with your food.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Is there a dish that you make that represents either
of your grandmothers or your father?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
When you make it that, you're like, this is me
embodying them. Yes.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
So one of the things we make them up is
Southern fried catfish. And I was actually just joking with
my aunts because they came down to help me this weekend,
and I'm like, I like to call this when I
do it the Nailbus Special, which is my grandmother's name.
Is my father's mother, and on Friday nights what she
would do she would have fried catfish or pantrout.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
You would have.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Spaghetti, garlic, bread, and a salad. And that was like
most people were like, Spaghetti's a side, and I'm like,
it was not. I mean, spaghetti's a main dish. I'm like,
in our house, it was a sign and especially on Friday,
on Fridays, that's what we had. And so that's one
of the things we do the most. But every time
I heat that grease up to fry that fish, I'm like, Granny, look, yeah,
(09:43):
you were actually out with us at Vincent Country Safe
So on activity day and you prepared breakfast for all
of our volunteers.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You were handing out there's treats to the kids.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
But there was this one part and I'm like this, girls, Grandma,
You're like, I.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Got some fish, I fry some fish. I'm like, wait
a minute, wait a minute, you just.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Keep fish and crabballs you pulling out.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And I said, oh, she and grandma for real, That's
what It's so funny. People to call me Grandma Tam
or Mama Tam and.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I'm like, I'm stealing My third is out take it
and like all of my friends are farmers because I think,
as I spent all that time in the house with them,
I have like naturally an old soul and so I
love feeding people, so I always come with extra.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So I went from cooking breakfast, so I.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Was like, I can make you just a steak and cheese,
said just as you want. Now you want it on
bread and Chris uns. And then I started joking because
I was like, I don't have no more bread.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I looked over it was another loaf. I was like,
I know, I only brought three.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Law but god, you altiply your multiplied multiply.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So yes, I enjoyed being out there with you guys.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Like that's the thing about when I show up for events,
and I think that's one of the reasons I'm like,
I don't want to do this like every single day,
like trying to grind it out and making a business,
because I'm like, for me, it's so much bigger than
like trying to gain coins. I'm like, when I'm out
and I'm on the ground with people, I'm really singing
like the heart of the individuals who's either putting on
(11:20):
the event, I'm seeing the heart of the people who
are involved in the event, and like a couple.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Of times I got tiered. I'm like, I'm here to
cook WM I over here cry. I ain't no lays
on this truck sage, not the cry.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
But yeah, so you're also on doing Taste of the NFL. Yes,
can you give us a preview of the menu.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yes. So I'm doing Taste of the.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
NFL, and I am doing the Southern fried catfish, I'm
doing fries. But I'm doing these things called crab puppies.
Now what happens in crab balls? Yeah, I was trying
to figure out, like should I call the crab ball
a crab puppy?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I like crab I don't know crab balls. I'm gonna
go with crap. I like crab puppies.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Because because a lot of times people serve hush puppies
with fish, and so that's what made me like, oh,
maybe I should call them crab puppies. But a couple
of years ago I did the tasting event and I
ran out of catfish okay, and they were like, we
have no more fish for you, but we have some
crab meat.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And I'm like, I don't eat crab meat, and I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Cook crab meat, had never cooked crab meat or eating it.
And they were like, I think you can do something
with this. So me and a couple of shoves and
went back there and started playing around with these crab puppies.
And I was like, I don't know if I can
put my name on this at this big event because
I've never made these before. A long story short, made
them on the fly.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
We ran out of those two and so now I'm like, well,
it's only right that I pair them with the fish
this time, okay. And so Troy Jr.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
He actually had the crab puppies, and he was like,
you gotta try these crab puppies. So and I'm going
to tell you my kids are tough critics. They all cook,
and you know they're they have a standards.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
You know that I don't have us established. They gotta be.
But he was like, you gotta try these crab puppies.
They are delicious.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yes, So I said, dang, I didn't get to have
any because I was going on to the next thing.
So I'm going to have to get some fresh. You
gotta get some fresh, you gotta get some hot degrease.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I told him. I was like, now this ain't the rich.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I was trying to put a disclaim out because I
noticed standard is up here when Tommy cooking. But I'm like, listen,
we were just playing around.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
We have ourline ingredients. But you can taste these, Belsten.
If they don't take it, don't tell nobody. So we're
gonna get you some hot freshmen.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
So before I let you go, let me know what's
going on with you. So what is happening right now
in this season of your life?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I think there's a lot happening right now and this
season of life that I am, And I think there's
a lot of new self discovery. I think a lot
of times you lose yourself when you're trying to focus
so much on the family, on the husband, on building
all these different things that you initially didn't sign up
or when you first said I do.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
And so I think there's a lot.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Where I'm like digging deeper into like who I am,
who God's called me to be in like just embracing
the ways that He's attempting to elevate me.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I think from that it's led me to really.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Dig deeper into different things that I was passionate about before,
whether it's serving the youth.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I've always been really big and like.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Mental, emotional, spiritual support, and so years ago I got
certified to become a life coach.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
But I just never promoted the services.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
So like I've been like being more intentional about, like
how do I meet other women where they are and
really help them navigate all the different seasons of life.
And so I'm operating in that, getting ready to try
to figure out going into season two of the podcast,
going back to the blog and a little bit. And
so it's just one of those seasons of life where
I'm like trying to put everything in its proper perspective
(14:53):
where it's like you can have it all. I'm not
always at the same time, but I know, like the
season of bar and Children kind of over.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So we have these six little people shop is around.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, my own way.
I'm not going to them through a whole bunch of
people in the system. So I have to mourn that.
I'm like, oh, yes, it's a thing. It's a thing.
People don't talk about it, so it's really a thing.
But once I mourn and I'm like this is it now.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
It's an opportunity for you to say yes to You
say yes to people who are able to impact your
life and empower you say yes to opportunity. So I'm
in my yes season if it's beneficial for me, and
I'm not I'm not afraid to say no to things
that aren't the things that I necessarily want to do
the people that I necessarily want to be around. And
(15:40):
so I think that's where I am where it's like
not all about me in a selfish way, but in
a way of just kind of saying yes to God
at the same time as I'm saying yes to myself.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Absolutely absolutely, and and you know, I know firsthand like
that's important that we prioritize ourselves, and especially what you
Having daughters gives them an opportunity also to see how
you've navigated life and you're modeling the type of behavior
and treatment that you desire for them to have for themselves,
(16:10):
and you're setting a standard. So kudos to you for
being in that space where you understand the need to
prioritize self. Yep, that doesn't mean that everything else goes
to the wayside. It just means that everyone benefits and
because the better you makes it better them.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yes, that is it. A better me makes everything better
for them.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Absolutely, And it's hard because a lot of times what
we feel like, we feel like we're being selfish when
we take care of us. And I'm like, I've always
poured everybody else's cup first, but then I wanted time
for me to pour my cup. I'm porn from an
inpicup ain't none left, So I'm like, I'm a poorn
for me first, and then it helps me understand and
identify I can properly disperse what's left.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yep. Absolutely well.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know I love you. I love you so much,
so much.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I'm so grateful that you took time to come
and say a while with me. You know that you
have a fixed seat at this table.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Hey, I'm gonna say I'm gonna take your advantage at
this table, but I.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Want to, you know, just you to know that you're
welcome anytime. Thank you, And I am excited for you
in this new season and I look forward to everything
to come. And I know one thing you better send
me an invitation to be on that podcast you listen.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
You won't be there, you won't be there front and center. Listen,
I'm a block off two hours because you got a
lie that you can teach me and some other people.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Do you hear me?
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I am so grateful for you great brother relationship, and
I love you so much. You just I can't even
put into words what has happened since my first encounter
with you, and so thank you for being you and
for being the light that you are, because it is
so bright, and I'm like, I don't know if you
know how right your light is, but listen, let that
light shine because it is very instrumental in my life today.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I hope you felt the love and connection in today's conversation.
Every woman you heard from has faced the impossible and
emerged stronger. This is your personal invitation to stale while
longer at Tommy V dot com. That's t O M
M I V dot com for more inspiration for your mind,
body and soul and let's not forget your belly. You're
(18:24):
always welcome at my table. Please be sure to subscribe,
make yourself at home and stale wild, stow Gone, Stale
Welcome to a special edition of Stale Wild, recorded live
on Radio Row at Super Bowl fifty nine. I'm your host,
Tommy Vincent, and we are going to be hearing some
dynamic conversations with phenomenal guests here on Radio Row.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
So take a seat, get comfortable in staal wall.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
This episode is sponsored by the House of Joy. Hey everyone,
it's Tommy Vincent, your host of Stale Wild podcast, and
today I have with me my sister friend, Yes, Sonny friends, Yeah,
Tamla Gil Davis, and I'm so grateful to have you
(00:41):
sitting here with me and joining me in conversation one,
because you're just amazing as You're an amazing human being.
But you and I have been really growing and learning
of one another, and I'm fond of you.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm fond of you.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Listen, I'm like been my whole life, oh god, his
whole time.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
But I'm doing what you do.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
But I'm like, Lord, Now, you know, I was crying
out for somebody like this, but quite some time.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You know, timing is everything, and when it's time, it's time.
And I believe that there's a time and a season
for everything, and for whatever reason, you and I are.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Now in relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
And one of the things that has been such a
blessing to me is the resourcefulness of the relationship, meaning
it's not transactional, it's relational, but there's value add and
oftentimes you can get into relationships with people and you're
(01:44):
kind of like, I feel like it's one sided, and
I'm at a stage in my life where I don't
I'm not giving and there's no exchange. And so that's
why I'm so grateful for you. And I don't went
into all of that because I'm so excited to have
you here. And I didn't even say who.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
The child is.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yes, she's my sister friend, but she's doing some great stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
She is doing some great stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But I wanted to say that because I wanted you
to know that I appreciate you because I remember you
and I weren't even having the conversation.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I heard you make that same statement of not doing
one side of relationships in a conversation with someone else,
but we had already made our connections. But it's like,
as I observe you, you drop gyms that I'm able
to connect with because most of my life, when I
think about my entire life, most of my relationships have
been one sided in some form or another, and so
(02:41):
it's led me to a lot of compartmentalization.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
With how I deal with people.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yes, and I'm like, I just want to be able
to embrace and create relationships where I'm adding value somebody
else is adding value to me.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I don't have the side.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I wonder like if there's any false intentional year around it,
but just knowing that someone's lifting me up, I'm lifting
them up. And we have similar energy, similar beliefs and
how we like navigating life, and so it's been sweet.
But then that statement, I'm like, God just showing me
more and more, why you drop this gym in my
life during this season of life? And it's like I
(03:18):
think about the time and I'm like, I needed it
a long time ago. But then I'm like, but I
need it so much more even now. And so I
love how intentionally is with how he does things. And
it's always not when you want it, but when he
knows it you needed the most.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Absolutely. Yeah, all right, y'all, So let me just take
it on back, take it on back. So Tamala is
a chef and she her business, Tamla Tailgates, were her
food truck.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Her business is the F word. She saucy.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
She got a business called the F word, but it's
not the F word you're thinking.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And she'll talk about that.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
She's a podcaster, she is an entrepreneur, she is a philanthropist.
What else do you want me to say? She is
all that in a bag of chips, and she's my sister.
And yes, I'm bragging on her because she is like that.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
I love it. I love it. I'll say it. I
use it F word, okay, because I know people will
be like, who what you know? I get the all
the times, like what is the F word? So I'm
gonna take people back a little bit.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
When I was growing up, I had a family member
and they would always use the F work that people
and so I remember when I was in college, like
I was doing something one day and.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
That work came out. I was like, oh gosh, I'm
picking up this energy long story, short fast forward. That
was BC.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I call it BCUs before the lawd came and snatched
me up out the pits of the pits. I was
sitting one day and I'm like everything around my life
that i I'm extremely just so in love with, and
I value the most. All started with the letter F
and it was my faith, which means everything to me,
(05:10):
my family, I'm a foodie, we're in football, we're in fitness,
and I'm like, oh my goodness, I'm like, how cool
would it.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Be to take the F word that I did always
use so pleasantly and find a way to use it
that it's going to glory by God, but then also
give people insight of just the things that I value
the most of my life.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
And so that's how I developed the F word.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Okay, well, now y'all know what about this piece of
you that is into food? I mean you and I
know we both had that same one passion but also
gifting because we don't just make food. There is soul
behind the food that we prepare, and we're doing it
with intentionality.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Where did your love for cooking come from?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
My love for cooking actually came from my father and
my two grandmothers. My grandmothers, I watched them over the
course of their lives like cook every single day and
invite everybody in nobody had to worry about where they
were going to get their next meal from. But it
was so much more than food, Like they were nurturing
people's souls. And I was a kid who didn't necessarily
(06:21):
like outside. I'm like, y'all leave in the house.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I won't talk out.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Clean whatever y'all need mean to do, I just don't
want to go. I didn't like kids, and I was
a kid. I don't like them kids. I don't want
to go play with them.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I want them people to talk.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
And so from that, they were intentional about how they
showed me different things, but it was always so much
bigger than food. Well, I sat and watch for a
really long time, and what a lot of people don't know.
For years, I was afraid of a stove because I
have like very high anxiety from time to time. So
as they would try to teach me to cook, I'm like,
I don't want.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
To do it.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I just wanted because of the heat, because of the heat,
because I don't play with danger.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I'm like, you didn't get in travel. I didn't get
in trouble much. I was I was prety good most
of the time. So I'm like, oh, I could get burned,
yet I don't want to get burned.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
So I kind of stayed away from it, but I
watched and I listened, but more than anything. I paid
attention to the energy and the love and the support
and the nurture, and they were doing to everybody who
came in and out of the house. So fast forward,
I go to college and I don't like cafeteria food.
Oh god, that means I really got to start clicking
some of these things I've watched, and so in my
(07:30):
dorm room, which was probably illegal, I went and bought.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
All these electric you know, it was illegal. You know
it was legal, all these electric things. I'm like, all right,
They're like, we smelled some frid chicken. I'm like, yes, my.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Play, I'm frying some chickens tenders because the Capeterian food
and not so good. But from there, I moved off
campus and everybody started wanting to come and be at
my house. And I was like, oh my gosh, I
get an opportunity to do for my fears what my
grandmothers did for so many other people. And so I
always loved hosting and entertaining because I watched them do it.
So I was like, okay, this is the meaning for
(08:05):
the week, y'all tell you what night, y'all coming.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
It got to where people was that every single day.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
And so I was practicing on them, but for me,
it was so feeling and so yueling, because I'm like,
I'm not just giving them a plate of food. It
was the conversations that we had around the food. It
was the questions that they would ask. And then I'm
using life examples of why I'm doing this and that,
and it just developed a love for food for me.
And so after that, I just really started to think, like,
(08:32):
how do I host and entertain other people?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Because whenever I'm interacting, I'm like.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I feel like I have something to give you, and
if I had a plate, it would make it easier
for me to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
And so I started looking for opportunity to do that
with your food.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Is there a dish that you make that represents either
of your grandmothers or your father?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
When you make it that, you're like, this is me
embodying them. Yes.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
So one of the things we make them up is
Southern fried catfish. And I was actually just joking with
my aunts because they came down to help me this weekend,
and I'm like, I like to call this when I
do it the Nailbus Special, which is my grandmother's name.
Is my father's mother, and on Friday nights what she
would do she would have fried catfish or pantrout.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
You would have.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Spaghetti, garlic, bread, and a salad. And that was like
most people were like, Spaghetti's a side, and I'm like,
it was not. I mean, spaghetti's a main dish. I'm like,
in our house, it was a sign and especially on Friday,
on Fridays, that's what we had. And so that's one
of the things we do the most. But every time
I heat that grease up to fry that fish, I'm like, Granny, look, yeah,
(09:43):
you were actually out with us at Vincent Country Safe
So on activity day and you prepared breakfast for all
of our volunteers.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You were handing out there's treats to the kids.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
But there was this one part and I'm like this, girls, Grandma,
You're like, I.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Got some fish, I fry some fish. I'm like, wait
a minute, wait a minute, you just.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Keep fish and crabballs you pulling out.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And I said, oh, she and grandma for real, That's
what It's so funny. People to call me Grandma Tam
or Mama Tam and.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I'm like, I'm stealing My third is out take it
and like all of my friends are farmers because I think,
as I spent all that time in the house with them,
I have like naturally an old soul and so I
love feeding people, so I always come with extra.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So I went from cooking breakfast, so I.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Was like, I can make you just a steak and cheese,
said just as you want. Now you want it on
bread and Chris uns. And then I started joking because
I was like, I don't have no more bread.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I looked over it was another loaf. I was like,
I know, I only brought three.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Law but god, you altiply your multiplied multiply.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So yes, I enjoyed being out there with you guys.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Like that's the thing about when I show up for events,
and I think that's one of the reasons I'm like,
I don't want to do this like every single day,
like trying to grind it out and making a business,
because I'm like, for me, it's so much bigger than
like trying to gain coins. I'm like, when I'm out
and I'm on the ground with people, I'm really singing
like the heart of the individuals who's either putting on
(11:20):
the event, I'm seeing the heart of the people who
are involved in the event, and like a couple.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Of times I got tiered. I'm like, I'm here to
cook WM I over here cry. I ain't no lays
on this truck sage, not the cry.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
But yeah, so you're also on doing Taste of the NFL. Yes,
can you give us a preview of the menu.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yes. So I'm doing Taste of the.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
NFL, and I am doing the Southern fried catfish, I'm
doing fries. But I'm doing these things called crab puppies.
Now what happens in crab balls? Yeah, I was trying
to figure out, like should I call the crab ball
a crab puppy?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I like crab I don't know crab balls. I'm gonna
go with crap. I like crab puppies.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Because because a lot of times people serve hush puppies
with fish, and so that's what made me like, oh,
maybe I should call them crab puppies. But a couple
of years ago I did the tasting event and I
ran out of catfish okay, and they were like, we
have no more fish for you, but we have some
crab meat.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And I'm like, I don't eat crab meat, and I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Cook crab meat, had never cooked crab meat or eating it.
And they were like, I think you can do something
with this. So me and a couple of shoves and
went back there and started playing around with these crab puppies.
And I was like, I don't know if I can
put my name on this at this big event because
I've never made these before. A long story short, made
them on the fly.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
We ran out of those two and so now I'm like, well,
it's only right that I pair them with the fish
this time, okay. And so Troy Jr.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
He actually had the crab puppies, and he was like,
you gotta try these crab puppies. So and I'm going
to tell you my kids are tough critics. They all cook,
and you know they're they have a standards.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
You know that I don't have us established. They gotta be.
But he was like, you gotta try these crab puppies.
They are delicious.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yes, So I said, dang, I didn't get to have
any because I was going on to the next thing.
So I'm going to have to get some fresh. You
gotta get some fresh, you gotta get some hot degrease.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I told him. I was like, now this ain't the rich.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I was trying to put a disclaim out because I
noticed standard is up here when Tommy cooking. But I'm like, listen,
we were just playing around.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
We have ourline ingredients. But you can taste these, Belsten.
If they don't take it, don't tell nobody. So we're
gonna get you some hot freshmen.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
So before I let you go, let me know what's
going on with you. So what is happening right now
in this season of your life?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I think there's a lot happening right now and this
season of life that I am, And I think there's
a lot of new self discovery. I think a lot
of times you lose yourself when you're trying to focus
so much on the family, on the husband, on building
all these different things that you initially didn't sign up
or when you first said I do.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
And so I think there's a lot.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Where I'm like digging deeper into like who I am,
who God's called me to be in like just embracing
the ways that He's attempting to elevate me.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I think from that it's led me to really.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Dig deeper into different things that I was passionate about before,
whether it's serving the youth.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I've always been really big and like.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Mental, emotional, spiritual support, and so years ago I got
certified to become a life coach.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
But I just never promoted the services.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
So like I've been like being more intentional about, like
how do I meet other women where they are and
really help them navigate all the different seasons of life.
And so I'm operating in that, getting ready to try
to figure out going into season two of the podcast,
going back to the blog and a little bit. And
so it's just one of those seasons of life where
I'm like trying to put everything in its proper perspective
(14:53):
where it's like you can have it all. I'm not
always at the same time, but I know, like the
season of bar and Children kind of over.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So we have these six little people shop is around.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, my own way.
I'm not going to them through a whole bunch of
people in the system. So I have to mourn that.
I'm like, oh, yes, it's a thing. It's a thing.
People don't talk about it, so it's really a thing.
But once I mourn and I'm like this is it now.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
It's an opportunity for you to say yes to You
say yes to people who are able to impact your
life and empower you say yes to opportunity. So I'm
in my yes season if it's beneficial for me, and
I'm not I'm not afraid to say no to things
that aren't the things that I necessarily want to do
the people that I necessarily want to be around. And
(15:40):
so I think that's where I am where it's like
not all about me in a selfish way, but in
a way of just kind of saying yes to God
at the same time as I'm saying yes to myself.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Absolutely absolutely, and and you know, I know firsthand like
that's important that we prioritize ourselves, and especially what you
Having daughters gives them an opportunity also to see how
you've navigated life and you're modeling the type of behavior
and treatment that you desire for them to have for themselves,
(16:10):
and you're setting a standard. So kudos to you for
being in that space where you understand the need to
prioritize self. Yep, that doesn't mean that everything else goes
to the wayside. It just means that everyone benefits and
because the better you makes it better them.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yes, that is it. A better me makes everything better
for them.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Absolutely, And it's hard because a lot of times what
we feel like, we feel like we're being selfish when
we take care of us. And I'm like, I've always
poured everybody else's cup first, but then I wanted time
for me to pour my cup. I'm porn from an
inpicup ain't none left, So I'm like, I'm a poorn
for me first, and then it helps me understand and
identify I can properly disperse what's left.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yep. Absolutely well.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know I love you. I love you so much,
so much.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I'm so grateful that you took time to come
and say a while with me. You know that you
have a fixed seat at this table.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Hey, I'm gonna say I'm gonna take your advantage at
this table, but I.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Want to, you know, just you to know that you're
welcome anytime. Thank you, And I am excited for you
in this new season and I look forward to everything
to come. And I know one thing you better send
me an invitation to be on that podcast you listen.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
You won't be there, you won't be there front and center. Listen,
I'm a block off two hours because you got a
lie that you can teach me and some other people.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Do you hear me?
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I am so grateful for you great brother relationship, and
I love you so much. You just I can't even
put into words what has happened since my first encounter
with you, and so thank you for being you and
for being the light that you are, because it is
so bright, and I'm like, I don't know if you
know how right your light is, but listen, let that
light shine because it is very instrumental in my life today.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
I hope you felt the love and connection in today's conversation.
Every woman you heard from has faced the impossible and
emerged stronger. This is your personal invitation to stale while
longer at Tommy V dot com. That's t O M
M I V dot com for more inspiration for your mind,
body and soul and let's not forget your belly. You're
(18:24):
always welcome at my table. Please be sure to subscribe,
make yourself at home and stale wild, stow Gone, Stale
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