November 13, 2024 • 52 mins
In this episode of the Stay Awhile podcast, host Tommi Vincent chats with Tina Ruffin, Vice President and DEI Officer at the Tennessee Titans. Tina shares her inspiring rise from receptionist to NFL leadership, emphasizing the value of mentorship, self-confidence, and community involvement. They touch on her proudest accomplishments, the advancement of women in sports, and her passion for philanthropy. Tina also opens up about her personal connection to food, reflecting on family traditions and the love behind every meal.
Guest: Tina Ruffin
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Music By: Stichiz - Big T. Music / Roj & Twinkie
Guest: Tina Ruffin
Subscribe & Follow:
Don’t miss an episode of "Stay A While"! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform. Stay connected and get the latest updates by following us on Instagram @StayAWhileShow and follow our host Tommi Vincent @cheftommiv. Watch full episodes on our YouTube channel www.youtube.com/@ChefTommiV
Join the Conversation:
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode! Share your insights and stories with us using #StayAWhilePodcast on social media.
Music By: Stichiz - Big T. Music / Roj & Twinkie
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Stay Awhile, the podcast that's virtual soul food
for your ears. I am your host, Tommy Vincent, and
each week we break bread with gold passionate women who
have faced the impossible and are still standing to share
their testimonies. Make yourself at home and stay Awhile. Hey everyone,
(00:23):
it is Tommy Vincent, your host of Stay a While podcast,
and today I have joining us at the table, Tina Ruffin.
Tina is the Vice president Diversity Equity Inclusion Officer at
the Tennessee Titans. She has been recognized as NFL Next
Woman Up and in Focused magazine Most Powerful Woman, and
(00:46):
has received an Emmy Award for Societal Concerns. Additionally, Tina
is a Tennessee State University alone. Welcome to the table, Tina,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to
be here.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yes, I am really grateful and honor that you have
taken time out of your schedule today to join me
for a conversation. And my very first question for you
today is who is Tina Ruffin?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
She is complex.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
How much time is the podcast? Tina Ruffin is the
example of perseverance. I have had the wonderful opportunity of
growing both personally and professionally, and like spiritually, and just
like I am someone who welcomes and embraces all the
wonderful opportunities that have been afforded to me. I am
(01:45):
originally from Memphis, Tennessee born and raised, and I have
been with the Tennessee Titans now. On September second, I
celebrated my twenty seventh year, and I'm entering my twenty
eighth season with the team. Really proud of my journey.
I would have never thought if you would have asked
young Tina where I'd be at this point, I never
(02:08):
would have thought I'd be here. But the organization has
afforded me an amazing opportunity to grow as a professional.
I feel like there's been a lot of opportunities within
the organization that many people have to go and jump.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Around to be able to experience. But I started as the.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Receptionist and I worked my way up through football operations.
I was on that side of the organization for the
first sixteen seventeen years of my career, most recently transitioning
over to the business.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Side, and it's been a fun journey.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
It's been a tough journey, but I've learned a lot
in the process, and here we are.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
So you went from an executive administrator up to an
executive in the organization. What has been the key to
sustaining such a long and evolving career at the organization?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Well, I think one of the reasons my career has
been able to flourish the way that it has is
the confidence I've had in myself and my ability, even
when others didn't necessarily see it in me. I've had
people in my life that poured into me a lot,
(03:21):
and so the building didn't defy my confidence, right, and
so because I knew that I was capable, even when
it was challenging, I kept going. I would there were
moments where I would stop and ask myself, like, is
this where you're supposed to be. I learned very early
on learning how to be quiet and be still and
(03:42):
listen and be guided in your decision making process, not
doing in your decision making process. And so when I
was there were many times along my career that I
was told no, I was told that's not a position.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
That's help by women. I was told I was patronized.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It was all the things that people experience that are
less than desirable. And it was in those moments that
I had to be I had to have something else
beyond what I was being told. I had to have
something beyond the professional side to get me through it.
I remember specifically there was one time back early in
my career where there wasn't a lot of women in
(04:19):
any positions other than administrative and one of the older
gentlemen at the time who's with the organization said, you know,
you're just a secretary and that's all you'll ever be.
And so I had to make a decision, right I
called my mom and I had to make a decision
do I believe him or do I believe in me?
And it was in that moment that I learned how
(04:43):
to believe in me and not externally what people told
me or try to perceive who I was or what
I was capable of. And so I think that's when
I think about sustainability, whether it be for me luckily
in one organization or in a career. I think belief
in self is one of the most kind of important
(05:04):
mindsets that needs to be accomplished.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
To do so.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now, that's not something that's easy to come by, you know,
especially in a moment where someone of authority is telling
you no, this is who you are, and you were
able to pull from this area of confidence. Where did
that confidence come from?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah, it's funny because to say it now, it feels
like someone told me no, or something says something negative
and I was like, oh well, and I just kept going.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But when you look back that.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
It was not that simple. It was a lot of
heartache and pain in the process. But I have I
am very fortunate to have had always had a really
strong support system in my life, a group of very
strong women that poured into me differently and kind of
embedded in me the value of who me really is.
(05:55):
I know that's grammatically and correct, but my point.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Is I understand me, and it took me. It wasn't
an easy thing. It wasn't an easy.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Journey, particularly given when I started with the organization there
were only six women. I was the only black woman,
and so I didn't have the traditional sense of the
word mentor. I didn't have someone that could understand my challenges.
I didn't have someone that when it was time to
go outside to practice and if it were raining and
(06:26):
I didn't want to get my hair wet, they would
understand that right, So I had to figure those things out.
But I do say the ability to figure them out
and looking out. You know, in our organization today where
we have a lot more women, but we have twenty
(06:46):
black women in the building, like I can pour into
them in a way that I didn't necessarily have anyone
there to help me during those difficult times.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
What are some of your personal core values that have
been a driving force in the longevity of your career.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
One of the things I say a lot, and it
sounds when I say it, it will sound kind of cocky,
but it's not. It's training them how to treat you.
That is kind of the way I've carried myself. And
I don't say that to say, I am Tina and
you are going to respect me, and that is it,
and no questions asked. What it means to me is
(07:25):
I know who I am. I'm confident in who I am,
and I want to be treated a certain way regardless of.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Where I am right. I deserve that level.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Of respect, but I'm also going to give that level
of respect. I'm going to respect you, I'm going to
respect your position, I'm going to respect your knowledge. I'm
going to respect you for what you bring to the organization,
and I expect that in return. So if I give
it to you and I want it back, that's me
training you how to treat you.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So I'm never going to treat anyone.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
In a way that I don't want or expect to
be treated in retire And so I think for me
that being the example of how important it is to
be a good teammate, be a good person, be a
good mentor be a good sounding board, be a good listener,
all of those things, that melting pot of what makes
(08:14):
us like whole, I think is what my train of
how to treat you mentality is what's kind of carried
me throughout the course of my career.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
And Tina, that carries over into every aspect of our life,
every relationship, and every opportunity that is before us. You know,
when we show up into the place, when we take
our seat at a table, we are presenting ourselves and
what we allow is or what we tolerate, it sets
(08:46):
the stage for how people will then move forward in
the relationship with us. So that is a valuable core
value that can carry over into every aspect of our lives.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It absolutely does it's it's funny because sometimes you'll are
for myself like there might be areas that I'm extremely
confident in, but then there are areas where I'm not
so confident in. Right, And so.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
In learning how to be able to translate a lot
of what you do at work, or what or what
you do in your personal life, or what you do
with your friends and family, however it works like that
same level of confidence in who you are is important.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
I tell that to my sun all the time.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I tell that to young people all the time when
I'm when I'm working in and you know, mentoring them.
How do you get because that's a that's a that's
a question I get all the time, Like you've been
here forever, it's so hard and it's so challenging, and how.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Do you do it? And what do you do?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Like people want to playbook right, but my biggest, my
biggest message.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Is always like who are you? At the core? You
got to know who you are?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Right, You got to know who you are in every situation,
in every every circumstance, and then that's what leads you
because because you're going to walk in the door and
you're gonna be hit with resistance at every and from
every direction. How are you going to handle yourself? Like
you have to create your own playbook. It's very important
for you to understand that, and then that's how you
handle yourself and navigate all the complexities that come.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Along the way.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Mm hm. So for that person who you know, like yourself,
in the beginning of your career, there was no playbook,
and fortunately there are you yourself. You can serve as
a mentor to other people in the building because you've
had that longevity in your career before. The person who
(10:37):
doesn't have the confidence to go ask for help to
you know, put out there that I really don't know
what I'm doing. What advice would you give to them
on the first step to creating the first play in
your playbook?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
That's so great.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Like I think back to little little young Tina all
the time and how how I ask myself off and like,
how were you able to do it? How were you
able to figure it out? Because it was there were
a lot of challenges along the way. I again, I
have to go back to having very strong women in
(11:16):
my life that had experienced professional challenges and I had
been fortunate enough enough to witness them.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Experience some of those challenges.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
The one thing I think I took away, the un
you know, the unspoken thing that I took away from
that is they relied on their community. And so I
learned how to rely on my community when I had
those challenges. Because my mom tells a story a lot.
I played the violin when I was growing up, and
(11:49):
my mom tells a story a lot, or she used
to before she passed away. But she I was in
the seventh grade and she was on her way to
take me to she was bringing me to school, and
then she was going to work, and she dropped me
off at school. But when she pulled up, there were
no It was all little white kids at school, and
so she recognized that immediately, and she said, I'll stay
(12:11):
here with you, even though she was going to be
late for work. She said, I'll stay here with you
until your friends come. And I said, oh no, Mom,
I'm fine. I make friends wherever I go. And she said,
I got my little violin out the car, and I
walked up to the front and I sat in you know, crisscross,
and started engaging with the other students. And she said
(12:33):
she pulled around the corner and she cried because she said,
in that moment, I knew you would be okay, And
so I don't necessarily I've never been a person that
walks into the room and recognizes all the differences, because
I think we all have them, and I think that's
what makes us great.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Right. So I've never been that person.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
That walked into the room and noticed I may be
the only black person, or I'm the only woman, or
I'm the only person that graduated from an HBCU or
what that insert, whatever that issue is here. I've never
been that person that used that as the crutch. But
I used that to my advantage.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
And so when there were those moments where I had.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
To figure out what to do with my hair, when
I walked out to practice in the brain and I
couldn't have that conversation with my my counterparts, I relied
on myself enough to.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Figure it out.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It may not have been easier, or it may not
have liked it, or it may have been awkward, but
I was confident enough in making.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
The decision, and I just owned it.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Didn't always get it right, and wasn't always happy in
the end, had to go back.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
You know, there's a lesson in losing what do you
learn in that lesson and would.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Have to go back and self correct. But I did
that without feeling like I was a failure. I did
that understanding that that lesson made better for the next time.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And I didn't know. I can't. I can't say that
I knew that's what I was doing. It was just innate, right.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
It was something within me that helped me perserve year
through those times. And so my word to young people
today is like, what is that? What is it in
you that's driving you to be whatever it is you
choose to be, Because if we're looking for a destination,
it doesn't necessarily exist. It's the journey that we should
be excited about. And so just trying to help people
(14:20):
to understand and get excited about that journey because if
you are excited about that journey, tomorrow is definitely going
to be better than today, which was better than yesterday.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You're embarking on your twenty eighth year with the Tennessee Titans.
So you have literally watched the game of professional football evolve.
What has been your proudest moment or one of your
most proudest moments?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Who, gosh, I got a lot of them.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Wow, what is okay?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
One of my most proud moments when I was on
the football operations side professionally.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
One of my most proudest moments is when I was on.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
The football operation side and I had been working with
for the General Manager's office. At this point, I think
I've been with the organization now ten.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Years my history.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Prior to joining the organization, I thought I was going
to be a social worker and save all the children
that were in unfortunate situations. My mom was a foster
mom and a geriatric's nurse, and you know, everybody that
were around me was in the helping profession. So I
just knew I was going to save all these kids.
And that didn't work out the way I wanted it to.
(15:37):
And so when I got into the opportunity to work
for the Tennessee Oilers at the time, I fell in
love with this department. It was player development and I
loved it so much and I was like it mirrors
mirrors social work in a lot of ways. You're helping
guys with things and situations that don't necessarily deal with
(15:59):
like the ex'es and was a football and I felt
really confident that I could do that, and so I
had gone to our general manager at the time and
I was like, I want this, and he was like no.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
And so the position became available again.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
In that ten year period, the position became available three times,
and I went to him and I really talked about,
you know, my passion for working and helping people, and
he explained to me that that was a position that
was traditionally held by men, particularly former.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Athletes, neither of which were me. The likelihood of that
happening wasn't going to happen.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
The position became available again, and I went back to
him and I said, I think I can do this.
At that point, I had start to really cultivate relationships
with players and they trusted me, and I felt really
strongly that I was the person. I'd even had a
couple guys go and advocate for me, and so he
appeased me and he gave me an interview for it,
and I never forget. I walked out feeling so good
(17:00):
about myself, right, and he asked me to go down
and grab one of the former players that was here
from the lobby. I went down and grabbed him for
the lobby and brought him back upstairs, and later that
afternoon they announced him as the next director of.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Player development for the organization.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
It was a dagger to my heart because I knew
I was prepared, I knew I was ready. I knew
I had everything necessary. I thought, rather, I'll say I
had everything necessary to successfully accomplish that that role. So
in that moment, I had to ask myself, is this
where I'm supposed to be?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Is this right for me?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
But I will tell you within that moment for the
next five years, and I made the decision to stay
because I felt like God said, there's something greater for you.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You just got a hold on for a second.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I learned so much about the business of the organization
in a way that I had never seen it before.
I had so many professional development opportunities. I met so
many people beyond just the Tennessee Titans, but around the
league that poured into me. And so four years from
that data being told no, our head coach at.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
The time called me and said, you want to make history.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
And I said, sure, doing what they're wanting to offer
you the opportunity to be the first director of player
development as a female in the NFL, and we would
love to have you do that. And so I get
goosebumps thinking about it because I celebrated that moment literally
for the next year, because it wasn't just about me.
(18:30):
That is when I realized this is bigger than Tina.
So I was very proud of that, but not just
because I accomplished it. I was proud of what it
did for our community and how many people reached out
important It gave them hope, and it gave them opportunity,
and it made them feel like I can see myself
in that space. So professionally, I loved I loved that
(18:52):
I carried that. I loved that I carried that I
was the first to do it, but I was the
first to do it to be a to provide hope
for so many beyond Justiny.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Right now, in the world of sports, women are you know,
there's a spotlight on women in sports, and your story
is a great example of how this is not new,
the impact that women have been making in sports. It
(19:25):
has been happening for a very long time. However, people
are just now kind of looking at it, and so
they see and they're having an opportunity to, you know,
look at the women in sports and the work that
they've been doing over the years. Aside from the amazing
story that you just told, in the history that you've made,
(19:45):
what are some of the memorable moments that you've had
where women, you know, came to the forefront in the
industry of sports and the light was on them and
other women around the world of sports had their celebrations
because of the moment.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
It is for me the biggest hurdle that has been
jumped is we have a community and a network of women.
I can call women around the league who understand the challenges.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Now.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
I see women in executive positions and they are killing it.
I see organizations hiring women because they're capable, not because
they're a woman or because they have to fit a quota.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I love the fact.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
That we are actually being seen and heard for who
we are.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
And not what we represent. But I love that we are.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
But I love being a woman, and I love being
a woman in those positions, and I love inspiring and
encouraging other women with those levels of opportunities. There was
one time early in my career I felt it was
necessary not to look like a woman, because if I
look like a woman, or if I act like a woman.
Then they'll see me as a woman, and then they
(20:59):
won't give me the opportunity. And I'll never forget a
young lady who was with the NFL office at the time,
she's not anymore, and she goes own it. She goes,
you earned the right to be where you are. You
earn the right to be in those spaces. If you
want to wear a pretty pink blouse under your.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Suit, you ever, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
She was like, don't wear a white shirt just because
you feel like it makes you blend in. And that's
what I truly learned the value of being who you
are and being different and being and taking that to
the table.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I had a.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
General manager once tell me if I wanted someone who
thought like me, I would do it myself.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Like I don't need people who think like me.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
I need people who bring differences to the organization because
that's what makes us valuable. And so now, you know,
looking back, as I mentioned, there are thirty three percent
of our executive staff now as women never have been before.
There are of that our of our leadership team. We've
(22:06):
got several black women that are vps that had never
happened before, like celebrating the and I say black women,
but we've got several women.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Collectively that are vps. Being able to celebrate our moments
like that.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
We went to we have VP luncheons here for the
women within the organization. We've got thirteen women vps within
our building. Never happened before. So looking around and seeing
that these these women are in these positions because they
deserve to be there, and our executive team and our
and our organizations now are looking at qualified candidates regardless
(22:48):
of their gender, just brings me joy, Like I can
go on and on about that, because I thought to
get someone to pay attention to me. First, I thought
the best way to do it was to dumb myself
down and.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Where you know, baggy shorts and tennis shoes.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And then I thought, okay, then someone told me you
don't have to do that. And now all of a sudden,
people are accepting you and your expertise and your value
because you belonged there.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's just really cool to see.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You know, we could spend so much time trying to
crack the code on you know, what will garner support
for me in this role and in this opportunity and
the secret sauce is being yourself, because that is an
added value that no one can bring to the table
but you. And so I'm really there's something that you
(23:36):
said in your answer where you talked about this moment
to celebrate, you know, you gathering to celebrate the group
of women that are doing the work and are excelling
in those positions. Sometimes I think we we focus a
lot on what's not happening, and you know, the more
(23:56):
that needs to be done that can be true, and
and also really making sure that we take opportunity to
celebrate and experience joy in the journey, because it takes
a lot of work to get anywhere in life. And
so if you just spend the entire time fighting the
whole way to this destination that you don't even know
(24:19):
what the destination is, you'll be exhausted and you'll miss
the moments. You'll miss all of the amazing moments that
are taking place.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yes, I actually had this conversation with a young lady
on Tuesday, this exact conversation, and she's been really sad, right,
she's been her energy has been different than than who
I know I've.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Known her to be. And so I called her and
I said, I want to just talk about it. What's
going on with you?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And she said her exact words were, if they don't
treat me the way I feel like I deserve to
be treated, then they don't deserve the best version of me.
And I said, honey, but don't you deserve the best
version of you? Don't you deserve so you're going to
allow the energy of someone else to take you away
from who you are? I said, you can't give you
(25:10):
can't give them that control.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
What do you deserve?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
You have to think about less about what you're giving
others and more about what you're pouring into yourself.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And so I encourage you and I challenge you. I
challenged her.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
I was like, let me see the best version of you,
and don't do it for anybody else. Do it for yourself,
because there's something you're supposed to be learning right now
and it's a very pivotal part in your in your life.
I was telling her, I said, we used to have
a coach that would say I got some good news
and some bad news.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Which one you want first? And she goes, well, I
want the bad news, And I said, well, the.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Bad news is you running out of time because if
you're spending your time focusing on what someone else is
doing to bring you down, you're draining yourself and you're
allowing that to control the narrative of who you are
going to be. Come I said, But the good news
is you got time. So take this opportunity and take
this moment and really figure out what you're supposed to
(26:09):
be learning right now versus what is being taken away
from you right now. And if you can master that,
if you can master when the times aren't great or
less than desirable or and or aren't good, what you're
supposed to be learning in those moments, Because it's easy
when things are great, right The challenge is when it's
not so great. What are you supposed to be learning
(26:30):
right now? But you can't allow others to control who
you become.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, we gotta we got it. We can't throw on
a towel, because that's in the journey you'll get You'll
you'll get that all the way, every step of the way.
You'll have moments where you'll be celebated, celebrated and elevated,
and then you'll have times where you'll get the responses
like you were receiving along the way. Where opportunity was
(26:56):
not given to you, but you you don't want to
give up there. So part of your contribution has been
through philanthropic work with the Titans Foundation. Why is community
outreach and impact such a priority for you?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know?
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Part of the reason why community outreach and impact are
such a priority to me is because I'm a product
of someone taking the time to.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Pour into me.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I mean, I think oftentimes we think about how much
we do for others, but we don't necessarily recognize the
value of how two things, of how much when you
help someone else it impacts them in a positive way,
but also how it impacts you in a positive way.
I will say there were moments, you know, or there
(27:46):
are moments because I'm still actively engaged with our community
impact team, that I go in with the mindset that
I'm helping someone else and I walk out in tears
of how much that other person has helped me. I
think that's something that we need to think about more,
whether it be organizationally, within the communities that you live within,
(28:10):
your social circles, with your family, or just with yourself,
like how can you give back to others? I think
our journeys are intentional it's the journeys that we have
are intentional to help us be equipped to be able
to give ourselves to others and not hold it all inside.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
And so I love.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Being an active member of the community. I love engaging
in the community. I love determining and figuring out ways
that I can help, and I love helping people identify
that as well.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
If you're looking for.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
The best way to get connected, figure out what your
passions are, where you feel most strongly about providing and
giving to others, and then go do that. But it's
something that I think we all have a responsibility for.
But I think it's not a responsibility that should be burdened.
I think it's a responsibility that we to own and
see how helping others can also be an asset and
(29:03):
helping ourselves.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So, Tina, when you hang up your cleats for the
last time at the Titans Organization, what would you consider
two have having had success?
Speaker 3 (29:25):
My professional success would be I left it all on
the field. I put it all out there. I mean
I used myself, I used my whole self right. I
helped others, I grew others helped me. I developed things,
I learned, I became better as a person professionally both
(29:49):
and what I did, I learned more about what others did.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I gave I hoped.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
I can hope that others felt valued when they were
around me. I can hope that people weren't fired. I
can hope that people learned from me, whether it was
in conversation or in in viewing or witnessing things that
I've done.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I hope people walk away feeling like, you know, I
have a joke a lot. I'm a big joker.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Whether people find me funny or not, I find myself hilarious.
But you know, one of the things I often say
is my door is always open and the lessons closed.
But because I want people to feel so comfortable always
coming in and talking to me, regardless of what's going on.
I want to be there for people in a way
that people may not necessarily have someone else that can
(30:39):
be there for them. I also want, you know, people
to recognize the value and who they are and what
they bring. One of my other little weird sayings is
there is.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
No eye in Teine.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
But there isn't Tina, because I think we all have
and I find I'm so glad you're laughing.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Tell me because I find me.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Hilarious, but you know we all have that you, right Like,
it's not about the team. You don't have value in
the team if you don't recognize what you bring to
the team.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Absolutely, And so I just I just.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Hope that years from now people are remembering whenever that
day comes, and I don't know when that'll be, but
I hope people remember that my value was far beyond
just the work that I did, Right Like, we can
all be hired for a job because we all have
these impressive resumes and we can we can do the work,
(31:30):
But who am I at the core? And I hope
people will will remember the value that I added to
their lives as people, because I think caring about people
and caring about the organization and caring about helping people
get from wherever they are to where they want to
be is something that's always been important to me, and
I hope I'm remembered for that.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Let's move into our next segment, and this segment is
titled I Am bringing Her to the Table, and this
is your opportunity to give another woman her virtual flowers,
because you know you would not be where you are
today without her fingerprint on your life.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
My virtual flower. First of all, I don't know the
size of the table, but I'm gonna bring women to
the table with me because when I think about the
women that have poured into me growing up in my life,
I am so grateful. I have five women that immediately
(32:33):
come to mind. Of course, my mother was a saint.
I'll just leave that there because I'll start to cry
when I talk about her. But my mother was a saint.
My mother was the person that poured into everyone, and
when I was little, I didn't understand it. I would
see my mom pour into people and then they wouldn't
be very nice. And I remember going to my mom
(32:56):
and saying, why are you helping them?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
They're not nice people?
Speaker 3 (33:00):
And she said, you know, she would always have these
amazing little mic drop moments where it was, you know,
just because you don't see it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Mean God isn't doing it. And as a kid, you're like,
they're main I don't care. I wouldn't have that.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yeah, And so my mom was the most most wise
person I think. I think the people that didn't get
to witness or halftime with her, that's a disservice to them,
because she was amazing. My aunt had aunt, Charlie, who's
also passed on, and she was my professional society woman.
She taught me what it was like to own being
(33:39):
professional and to demand a certain level of respect. I
wanted to be her because she was classy and she
was she was confident, and she was beautiful inside and out,
and people when she walked into the room, people automatically
stopped what they were doing.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
And I loved that about her.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
My grandmother was autician, and so when you think about
the beauty shop and everybody coming in and there's all
this energy and excitement, my grandmother was the person that
would stop and tell you.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
My grandmother people would say to her, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
We called her Humps Humps, your little brand baby is
so cute, and she would say, isn't she? And I
love that because she didn't say thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
She would say isn't she?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Though? Or people would say I love your outfit. You
look so nice, She say, don't I who had this
confidence that was through the roof And I.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Was just when I now see where you got it from.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
I'm telling we're friends here, So I'll share a little story.
Tina was not the name I was given at birth.
When I was little, I tell my parents I wanted
a name change. I wanted to be named after my grandma.
Her name was Mary Louise, and they said, we are
not changing your name. I wanted my name to be
Mary Loui. And so I went back.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
To them and I said, okay, compromise.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
This is six year old negotiator, right, And I said,
I love Ginger on Gilligan's Island.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Her name's Tina Louise. Right.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
So I named all my dolls. I had a cat
named Tina. I mean everybody like I would only answer
if they called me Tina. And so my parents said,
we're not going to change her name to Tina Louise,
but we will add Tina to your birth certificate. And
so that was like my grandmother was like, that's right,
you get them. Like she was the one that had
me thinking that I could do it all. So Humps
(35:34):
was everything. My sister have an older sister, Liz. I
have two older sisters, Liz and Roxy. Liz was the
she's considered she's nine years older than me, and so
I saw her journey through like school and she pledged
the sorority and she was like in college and like
I was so fascinated by that, and so she was
like the mom of how to be as I transitioned into.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
From a child, young adulthood to adulthood.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
So she was like my second mom and still is
to this day, like helping me see things logically, and
that's the one thing I love and respect about her.
And then I have my other sister, Roxy, who is
as feisty as they come. She has the confidence of
like a gold star. I don't know, but there's nothing
you can say that will break her. And so she
(36:25):
gives me that. You know, teen ain't you? You can
do whatever you want to teen, That's right, teenage. So
those women, like I am a melting pot of all
of that love and support and encouragement from that group
of women, and I'm very grateful to have had that
growing up and still having.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Some of it today.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
M h.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
All of them are coming to my table.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah, they gave you those some of those ingredients for
your success. Yes, speaking of ingredients, we're going to move
into our next segment, which is all about food. So
we have I have a few questions about some food,
(37:08):
and then I'm going We're going to play a little
game of this or that Oh. So the first question,
and our Food is Love segment is what food best
describes your personality and why?
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Probably spaghetti, particularly my mom spaghetti, because, like you think about,
when I talk about all these women that poured all
of this stuff into me, I'm some of like they
gave me something and I held on to a part
of it, right.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So when you think about spaghetti, it's a comfort food.
That's my mom. It's hardy, you know, that's my aunt.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
It's got the little bit of spices that's my grandma,
and my sister Raxy. But then it's got some sweetness
that's my other sister Liz. So you think about the
pastas and the meats and the veggie and the sauces
and all of that poured into one pan to create
this amazing meal, like I would say, spaghetti would be Tina.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Okay, name a time in your life when food was
healing for you.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
It's still healing.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
So a couple of years ago, almost to the day,
my mother passed away, and my mother was and still
is the center of so much of who I am today.
I find myself quoting her a lot as I've gotten older.
You know, it's you've heard the saying like you become
your mom, like I have truly become my mom.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
And I love that because.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I really, you know, cherished all of the moments and
times that we got to spend together.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
If I had, if I have one more, i'd love it.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
But I'm grateful for everything she's done and how she
poured into me. But my mom spaghetti, I think that's
in a song somewhere, I don't know. But anyway, as
like my all time favorite food, my mom's sweet potato pie,
it is my all time favorite.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Deserve my mom's mac and cheese, like.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
These are, whether together or individual, I could have any
of those items again, like very healing. And so it's funny,
like not funny.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
But my mom passed away and which as she got older, we.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Didn't get the opportunity to get a lot of her recipes,
and that was one of the because she had dementia
and it affected her ability to remember everything as greatly
as she would have liked, and so we missed that opportunity.
And so my sisters they cooked really well, and they
try and they get close but not as close as
(39:48):
there is not perfect, right, but they cooked really really
well and it's very good.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
But it's not my mom's.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
And so most recently, my husband was making spaghetti and
he made I didn't know this was something that he
knew how to make.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
He made it.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
It was He's a great cook, but I'd never tasted
his spaghetti before and he made it and I took
a bite of it, and no exaggeration, it was so
emotional for me because it was the closest to my
mom's spaghetti that I've had since she passed away, and
so it's like to be able to have that part
of her has been something He's like, We're not gonna
(40:26):
have spaghetti every week. Him make enough for me to
eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for at least
a few days, because it is very therapeutic for me
when I put that spoone in it or that fork
in that spaghetti and eat it.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
So I know you said that, you know you all
didn't get an opportunity to get your mom's recipes from her.
Was your grandmother a cook as well? Where there were
these recipes that your mom that were legacy inspired from
her mom and it just kind of was passed through
(41:04):
to that generation. Do y'all have those types of recipes.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
My sister, my oldest sister, Liz does she.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
So my mom was the youngest of nine, seven sisters
and two boys. And you would if you went to
eat at my aunt Shirley's house, or my aunt Gussie's house,
or my afraid Joyce's house. The food was so consistent,
like every meal tasted the same. It was amazing how
(41:34):
they were such like amazing cooks. And they it wasn't
it wasn't written anywhere. It was like a pinch of this,
a hint of that, and just a little dab of that.
Now sprinkle some of that over there, and then you
taste this moon and you say, I need just a
hint of saut, just a hint. And it was amazing
to watch them. My older sister got to experience it
a lot more than I did because she was in
(41:55):
the room when they were cooking, so she has a
lot of that. And so we have Thanksgiving meals like
there are staples that our family is going to have
and it's not just the meal, it's how it's prepared.
Like That's why I'm very intentional with saying my mom's spaghetti,
because it's not prepared like everybody else's so don't just
make me some spaghetti and think I'm gonna like it,
(42:18):
like it has to be prepared a certain way. But
the spaghetti, the sweet potato pie, the macaroni and cheese, omg,
is so amazing.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Beef stew. I know how to make that.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
I actually made it last night, but that was my
mom's recipe. And yeah, like it's those things that don't
you don't eat them often, but when you do, it's
again I say, it's very it's like emotional to be
able to have them and taste them. I'm seriously, no exaggerating,
looking forward to get home tonight.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
So that I cannot.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Deep stick goring bread because that's like what I feel
when I feel like closest, Like it's the family ness
of a kitchen and.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Preparing that meal.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I have this theory with food where you know, I
so like your family. I grew up in a family
where we were also dump cooks, and so it was
you know, if you weren't in the kitchen actually in
the production of the food, you missed it because because
(43:24):
there were no measurements, there were no you know, written
down recipes. You just had to be there and see
it in motion. So you could pick it up, you
could catch it. And so I get that I come
from that type of family, and there were things that
I ate when I was younger that the experience always
(43:49):
felt like a big hug to me when I had
the opportunity to eat that food. And as an adult,
the nostalgia of eating that dish is is still present,
but it's sometimes just isn't the same. And so my
theory is that it was the love that was the
difference in you know, when my grandmother made it versus
(44:13):
someone else made it, or my mom made it versus
someone else. And so when you talked about the spaghetti
from your husband and you had that emotional response, while
it wasn't quite the same as your mother's, what was
in there was his love. Yeah, And because your his
(44:33):
love is special to you, that spaghetti became special to you.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Cry. That is so beautiful. It truly is like it.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
I mean, it's the like last night when we were
making the beef stew and I was standing there pellling
the potatoes and chopping the carrots and stuff, and like,
I think that's the excitement that I feel for wanting
to go and eat because beef stew, you know, you
gotta cook it for the rose before at whatever all.
But I think that's the excitement that I feel for
(45:05):
wanting to go and have it because it was something
that was done together and it was something I feel
like we put a lot of love into. But that's
what that's what I grew up with. Like I was
the youngest, and so they didn't push me out of
the kitchen. They gave me little things to do. Put
her over here and do this. But I remember like
there was somebody at every station. This person's over straining
(45:29):
the sweet potatoes, and this person's over here making the dough,
and like everybody had a responsibility. And when it came together,
oftentimes we would I would get in so much trouble
because we would eat a piece of something before it
was time.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
But it was because I couldn't wait like that, it
was just it was the excitement of it. I couldn't wait.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
And then as I grew older and I moved away
from home, whenever I would go home for special occasions,
like my mom would make three sweet potato pies, two
for the family that she would cook and then one
she would freeze from me to bring back to Nashville,
or wherever I was to cook, because I would I
just needed one for myself.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
But those because the love.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
You're right, The love that went into making those dishes
was beyond just food to eat. It was the cure
and the nurturing and the love and all of those
things that went into making it.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
That was was what made it feel so special.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Absolutely. Okay, Now let's get into this game of this
or that. Oh dear, Okay, barbecue ribs or pulled pork sandwich.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
I'm from Memphis, and I don't know if everyone knows this,
but we are famous for our ribs, so that part
of me says, yes, barbecue ribs. However, I love me
a good pull pork sandwich. Plot twist pull pork.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Sandwich, dry rup or wet sauce.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
Wet sauce, hands down, wet sauce.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Yes, Gusses, Fried chicken or Uncle Lo's fried chicken. Gusses,
what's the difference.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
I don't know. I like it. What's like you? There's
nothing you can do to change it? Some Gusses.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Okay, I think I know the answer to this one.
But sweet potato pie or peach cobbler.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Oh my goodness, easy, layup, sweet potato piewet potato pie.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
I love it like, I love it so much.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
I'm telling you like it was so funny, Like my
mom would make these pies and people would be like,
why does she get a whole pie to take back?
We gotta get slices, and she eats some of those
slices and then she gets a whole pot of take back.
I would eat it for breakfast. I would eat it
at lunch. I would eat it.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
I mean I could eat a sweet potato pie in
a day. Easy. Love it so much?
Speaker 1 (47:57):
Are you the baby?
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Why does that matter? Tommy? I'm just asking, like, why
is that important?
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Your hot wings?
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Catfish? Oh love catfish? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
My granddaddy used to go and get catfish and we
would oh yeah, so catfish hands down.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
Corn Bread or biscuits.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
It depends on the meal. So are we talking? Like
I'm doing cornbread tonight with my beef stew. Corn bread.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
We'll go with cornbread.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Sweet to your lemonade?
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Can we do both?
Speaker 3 (48:41):
Can we do like the the the Arnold Palmer or
I would say lemonade, yes, lemonade.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
And last but not least, banana pudding or pecan pie.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
Okay, this is gonna be a very unpopular response. But
I don't like either.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I like me.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
Yeah, that's tough for me. No, I can't. I don't
like either of them. Hey, listen to a southern year
old who doesn't like the confide.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Listen. That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. But thank you
for being a good sport and playing the game with me.
And thank you for coming to the table today and
sharing your wealth of knowledge and experience. I believe that
our listening community will have an opportunity to pool some
(49:41):
quotables because you gave us some great ones and some
words to live by. And I appreciate the value that
you've added to our community today. Is there anything that
we did not talk about that you would like to
share with our community?
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Thank you for having me for starters.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
I appreciate any opportunity to be able to have conversations
like this because oftentimes it's again I'm like, I'm a
melting pot. I try to learn and grow whenever there's
a chance, and whenever there's a moment that I can
have some nugget that's going to make me be a
better version of myself. So thank you for allowing me
(50:20):
to even be here to have this conversation. But I
love the conversation. I love the opportunity to encourage. I
encourage other people to have these levels of conversation because
somebody ever, all of us have something that we can
pour into someone else. We don't necessarily see ourselves as
(50:41):
you know you think about people will say, oh, my
boss is a leader, or you know, the person over
in my church is a leader, or the head of
my family is a leader. But I think we all
have that ability in us to lead, and so I would,
you know, I would encourage people who are listening and
the community of people listening to Stale Wild podcast to
(51:04):
find what you can do to pour into someone else,
because I think we can all be better when we
look to bring each other up.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
So thank you for having me. But I'd love to talk.
We can talk. It's so fun. I can do this
for a whole nother hour. So this has been great.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Thank you. I really appreciate and I appreciate you coming
to stay a while, and just know, Tina, there is
always a seat for you at my table.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
I'm gonna come. I'll be there. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
I hope you felt the love and connection in today's conversation.
Every woman you heard from has faced the impossible and
emerged stronger. This is your personal invitation to stay a
while longer at TOMMYV dot com. That's t o mmiv
dot com for more inspiration for your mind, body and
(51:56):
soul and let's not forget your belly. You're always welcome
at my table. Please be sure to subscribe, make yourself
at home, and stay a wild. Stay Wow
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Gone, Stay Wow
Welcome to Stay Awhile, the podcast that's virtual soul food
for your ears. I am your host, Tommy Vincent, and
each week we break bread with gold passionate women who
have faced the impossible and are still standing to share
their testimonies. Make yourself at home and stay Awhile. Hey everyone,
(00:23):
it is Tommy Vincent, your host of Stay a While podcast,
and today I have joining us at the table, Tina Ruffin.
Tina is the Vice president Diversity Equity Inclusion Officer at
the Tennessee Titans. She has been recognized as NFL Next
Woman Up and in Focused magazine Most Powerful Woman, and
(00:46):
has received an Emmy Award for Societal Concerns. Additionally, Tina
is a Tennessee State University alone. Welcome to the table, Tina,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to
be here.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yes, I am really grateful and honor that you have
taken time out of your schedule today to join me
for a conversation. And my very first question for you
today is who is Tina Ruffin?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
She is complex.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
How much time is the podcast? Tina Ruffin is the
example of perseverance. I have had the wonderful opportunity of
growing both personally and professionally, and like spiritually, and just
like I am someone who welcomes and embraces all the
wonderful opportunities that have been afforded to me. I am
(01:45):
originally from Memphis, Tennessee born and raised, and I have
been with the Tennessee Titans now. On September second, I
celebrated my twenty seventh year, and I'm entering my twenty
eighth season with the team. Really proud of my journey.
I would have never thought if you would have asked
young Tina where I'd be at this point, I never
(02:08):
would have thought I'd be here. But the organization has
afforded me an amazing opportunity to grow as a professional.
I feel like there's been a lot of opportunities within
the organization that many people have to go and jump.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Around to be able to experience. But I started as the.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Receptionist and I worked my way up through football operations.
I was on that side of the organization for the
first sixteen seventeen years of my career, most recently transitioning
over to the business.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Side, and it's been a fun journey.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
It's been a tough journey, but I've learned a lot
in the process, and here we are.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
So you went from an executive administrator up to an
executive in the organization. What has been the key to
sustaining such a long and evolving career at the organization?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Well, I think one of the reasons my career has
been able to flourish the way that it has is
the confidence I've had in myself and my ability, even
when others didn't necessarily see it in me. I've had
people in my life that poured into me a lot,
(03:21):
and so the building didn't defy my confidence, right, and
so because I knew that I was capable, even when
it was challenging, I kept going. I would there were
moments where I would stop and ask myself, like, is
this where you're supposed to be. I learned very early
on learning how to be quiet and be still and
(03:42):
listen and be guided in your decision making process, not
doing in your decision making process. And so when I
was there were many times along my career that I
was told no, I was told that's not a position.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
That's help by women. I was told I was patronized.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It was all the things that people experience that are
less than desirable. And it was in those moments that
I had to be I had to have something else
beyond what I was being told. I had to have
something beyond the professional side to get me through it.
I remember specifically there was one time back early in
my career where there wasn't a lot of women in
(04:19):
any positions other than administrative and one of the older
gentlemen at the time who's with the organization said, you know,
you're just a secretary and that's all you'll ever be.
And so I had to make a decision, right I
called my mom and I had to make a decision
do I believe him or do I believe in me?
And it was in that moment that I learned how
(04:43):
to believe in me and not externally what people told
me or try to perceive who I was or what
I was capable of. And so I think that's when
I think about sustainability, whether it be for me luckily
in one organization or in a career. I think belief
in self is one of the most kind of important
(05:04):
mindsets that needs to be accomplished.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
To do so.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now, that's not something that's easy to come by, you know,
especially in a moment where someone of authority is telling
you no, this is who you are, and you were
able to pull from this area of confidence. Where did
that confidence come from?
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Yeah, it's funny because to say it now, it feels
like someone told me no, or something says something negative
and I was like, oh well, and I just kept going.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But when you look back that.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
It was not that simple. It was a lot of
heartache and pain in the process. But I have I
am very fortunate to have had always had a really
strong support system in my life, a group of very
strong women that poured into me differently and kind of
embedded in me the value of who me really is.
(05:55):
I know that's grammatically and correct, but my point.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Is I understand me, and it took me. It wasn't
an easy thing. It wasn't an easy.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Journey, particularly given when I started with the organization there
were only six women. I was the only black woman,
and so I didn't have the traditional sense of the
word mentor. I didn't have someone that could understand my challenges.
I didn't have someone that when it was time to
go outside to practice and if it were raining and
(06:26):
I didn't want to get my hair wet, they would
understand that right, So I had to figure those things out.
But I do say the ability to figure them out
and looking out. You know, in our organization today where
we have a lot more women, but we have twenty
(06:46):
black women in the building, like I can pour into
them in a way that I didn't necessarily have anyone
there to help me during those difficult times.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
What are some of your personal core values that have
been a driving force in the longevity of your career.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
One of the things I say a lot, and it
sounds when I say it, it will sound kind of cocky,
but it's not. It's training them how to treat you.
That is kind of the way I've carried myself. And
I don't say that to say, I am Tina and
you are going to respect me, and that is it,
and no questions asked. What it means to me is
(07:25):
I know who I am. I'm confident in who I am,
and I want to be treated a certain way regardless of.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Where I am right. I deserve that level.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Of respect, but I'm also going to give that level
of respect. I'm going to respect you, I'm going to
respect your position, I'm going to respect your knowledge. I'm
going to respect you for what you bring to the organization,
and I expect that in return. So if I give
it to you and I want it back, that's me
training you how to treat you.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So I'm never going to treat anyone.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
In a way that I don't want or expect to
be treated in retire And so I think for me
that being the example of how important it is to
be a good teammate, be a good person, be a
good mentor be a good sounding board, be a good listener,
all of those things, that melting pot of what makes
(08:14):
us like whole, I think is what my train of
how to treat you mentality is what's kind of carried
me throughout the course of my career.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
And Tina, that carries over into every aspect of our life,
every relationship, and every opportunity that is before us. You know,
when we show up into the place, when we take
our seat at a table, we are presenting ourselves and
what we allow is or what we tolerate, it sets
(08:46):
the stage for how people will then move forward in
the relationship with us. So that is a valuable core
value that can carry over into every aspect of our lives.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It absolutely does it's it's funny because sometimes you'll are
for myself like there might be areas that I'm extremely
confident in, but then there are areas where I'm not
so confident in. Right, And so.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
In learning how to be able to translate a lot
of what you do at work, or what or what
you do in your personal life, or what you do
with your friends and family, however it works like that
same level of confidence in who you are is important.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
I tell that to my sun all the time.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
I tell that to young people all the time when
I'm when I'm working in and you know, mentoring them.
How do you get because that's a that's a that's
a question I get all the time, Like you've been
here forever, it's so hard and it's so challenging, and how.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Do you do it? And what do you do?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Like people want to playbook right, but my biggest, my
biggest message.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Is always like who are you? At the core? You
got to know who you are?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Right, You got to know who you are in every situation,
in every every circumstance, and then that's what leads you
because because you're going to walk in the door and
you're gonna be hit with resistance at every and from
every direction. How are you going to handle yourself? Like
you have to create your own playbook. It's very important
for you to understand that, and then that's how you
handle yourself and navigate all the complexities that come.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Along the way.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Mm hm. So for that person who you know, like yourself,
in the beginning of your career, there was no playbook,
and fortunately there are you yourself. You can serve as
a mentor to other people in the building because you've
had that longevity in your career before. The person who
(10:37):
doesn't have the confidence to go ask for help to
you know, put out there that I really don't know
what I'm doing. What advice would you give to them
on the first step to creating the first play in
your playbook?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
That's so great.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Like I think back to little little young Tina all
the time and how how I ask myself off and like,
how were you able to do it? How were you
able to figure it out? Because it was there were
a lot of challenges along the way. I again, I
have to go back to having very strong women in
(11:16):
my life that had experienced professional challenges and I had
been fortunate enough enough to witness them.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Experience some of those challenges.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
The one thing I think I took away, the un
you know, the unspoken thing that I took away from
that is they relied on their community. And so I
learned how to rely on my community when I had
those challenges. Because my mom tells a story a lot.
I played the violin when I was growing up, and
(11:49):
my mom tells a story a lot, or she used
to before she passed away. But she I was in
the seventh grade and she was on her way to
take me to she was bringing me to school, and
then she was going to work, and she dropped me
off at school. But when she pulled up, there were
no It was all little white kids at school, and
so she recognized that immediately, and she said, I'll stay
(12:11):
here with you, even though she was going to be
late for work. She said, I'll stay here with you
until your friends come. And I said, oh no, Mom,
I'm fine. I make friends wherever I go. And she said,
I got my little violin out the car, and I
walked up to the front and I sat in you know, crisscross,
and started engaging with the other students. And she said
(12:33):
she pulled around the corner and she cried because she said,
in that moment, I knew you would be okay, And
so I don't necessarily I've never been a person that
walks into the room and recognizes all the differences, because
I think we all have them, and I think that's
what makes us great.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Right. So I've never been that person.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
That walked into the room and noticed I may be
the only black person, or I'm the only woman, or
I'm the only person that graduated from an HBCU or
what that insert, whatever that issue is here. I've never
been that person that used that as the crutch. But
I used that to my advantage.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
And so when there were those moments where I had.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
To figure out what to do with my hair, when
I walked out to practice in the brain and I
couldn't have that conversation with my my counterparts, I relied
on myself enough to.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Figure it out.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It may not have been easier, or it may not
have liked it, or it may have been awkward, but
I was confident enough in making.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
The decision, and I just owned it.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Didn't always get it right, and wasn't always happy in
the end, had to go back.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
You know, there's a lesson in losing what do you
learn in that lesson and would.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Have to go back and self correct. But I did
that without feeling like I was a failure. I did
that understanding that that lesson made better for the next time.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
And I didn't know. I can't. I can't say that
I knew that's what I was doing. It was just innate, right.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
It was something within me that helped me perserve year
through those times. And so my word to young people
today is like, what is that? What is it in
you that's driving you to be whatever it is you
choose to be, Because if we're looking for a destination,
it doesn't necessarily exist. It's the journey that we should
be excited about. And so just trying to help people
(14:20):
to understand and get excited about that journey because if
you are excited about that journey, tomorrow is definitely going
to be better than today, which was better than yesterday.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You're embarking on your twenty eighth year with the Tennessee Titans.
So you have literally watched the game of professional football evolve.
What has been your proudest moment or one of your
most proudest moments?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Who, gosh, I got a lot of them.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Wow, what is okay?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
One of my most proud moments when I was on
the football operations side professionally.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
One of my most proudest moments is when I was on.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
The football operation side and I had been working with
for the General Manager's office. At this point, I think
I've been with the organization now ten.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Years my history.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Prior to joining the organization, I thought I was going
to be a social worker and save all the children
that were in unfortunate situations. My mom was a foster
mom and a geriatric's nurse, and you know, everybody that
were around me was in the helping profession. So I
just knew I was going to save all these kids.
And that didn't work out the way I wanted it to.
(15:37):
And so when I got into the opportunity to work
for the Tennessee Oilers at the time, I fell in
love with this department. It was player development and I
loved it so much and I was like it mirrors
mirrors social work in a lot of ways. You're helping
guys with things and situations that don't necessarily deal with
(15:59):
like the ex'es and was a football and I felt
really confident that I could do that, and so I
had gone to our general manager at the time and
I was like, I want this, and he was like no.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
And so the position became available again.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
In that ten year period, the position became available three times,
and I went to him and I really talked about,
you know, my passion for working and helping people, and
he explained to me that that was a position that
was traditionally held by men, particularly former.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Athletes, neither of which were me. The likelihood of that
happening wasn't going to happen.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
The position became available again, and I went back to
him and I said, I think I can do this.
At that point, I had start to really cultivate relationships
with players and they trusted me, and I felt really
strongly that I was the person. I'd even had a
couple guys go and advocate for me, and so he
appeased me and he gave me an interview for it,
and I never forget. I walked out feeling so good
(17:00):
about myself, right, and he asked me to go down
and grab one of the former players that was here
from the lobby. I went down and grabbed him for
the lobby and brought him back upstairs, and later that
afternoon they announced him as the next director of.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Player development for the organization.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
It was a dagger to my heart because I knew
I was prepared, I knew I was ready. I knew
I had everything necessary. I thought, rather, I'll say I
had everything necessary to successfully accomplish that that role. So
in that moment, I had to ask myself, is this
where I'm supposed to be?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Is this right for me?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
But I will tell you within that moment for the
next five years, and I made the decision to stay
because I felt like God said, there's something greater for you.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You just got a hold on for a second.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I learned so much about the business of the organization
in a way that I had never seen it before.
I had so many professional development opportunities. I met so
many people beyond just the Tennessee Titans, but around the
league that poured into me. And so four years from
that data being told no, our head coach at.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
The time called me and said, you want to make history.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
And I said, sure, doing what they're wanting to offer
you the opportunity to be the first director of player
development as a female in the NFL, and we would
love to have you do that. And so I get
goosebumps thinking about it because I celebrated that moment literally
for the next year, because it wasn't just about me.
(18:30):
That is when I realized this is bigger than Tina.
So I was very proud of that, but not just
because I accomplished it. I was proud of what it
did for our community and how many people reached out
important It gave them hope, and it gave them opportunity,
and it made them feel like I can see myself
in that space. So professionally, I loved I loved that
(18:52):
I carried that. I loved that I carried that I
was the first to do it, but I was the
first to do it to be a to provide hope
for so many beyond Justiny.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Right now, in the world of sports, women are you know,
there's a spotlight on women in sports, and your story
is a great example of how this is not new,
the impact that women have been making in sports. It
(19:25):
has been happening for a very long time. However, people
are just now kind of looking at it, and so
they see and they're having an opportunity to, you know,
look at the women in sports and the work that
they've been doing over the years. Aside from the amazing
story that you just told, in the history that you've made,
(19:45):
what are some of the memorable moments that you've had
where women, you know, came to the forefront in the
industry of sports and the light was on them and
other women around the world of sports had their celebrations
because of the moment.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
It is for me the biggest hurdle that has been
jumped is we have a community and a network of women.
I can call women around the league who understand the challenges.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Now.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
I see women in executive positions and they are killing it.
I see organizations hiring women because they're capable, not because
they're a woman or because they have to fit a quota.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I love the fact.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
That we are actually being seen and heard for who
we are.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
And not what we represent. But I love that we are.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
But I love being a woman, and I love being
a woman in those positions, and I love inspiring and
encouraging other women with those levels of opportunities. There was
one time early in my career I felt it was
necessary not to look like a woman, because if I
look like a woman, or if I act like a woman.
Then they'll see me as a woman, and then they
(20:59):
won't give me the opportunity. And I'll never forget a
young lady who was with the NFL office at the time,
she's not anymore, and she goes own it. She goes,
you earned the right to be where you are. You
earn the right to be in those spaces. If you
want to wear a pretty pink blouse under your.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Suit, you ever, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
She was like, don't wear a white shirt just because
you feel like it makes you blend in. And that's
what I truly learned the value of being who you
are and being different and being and taking that to
the table.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I had a.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
General manager once tell me if I wanted someone who
thought like me, I would do it myself.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Like I don't need people who think like me.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
I need people who bring differences to the organization because
that's what makes us valuable. And so now, you know,
looking back, as I mentioned, there are thirty three percent
of our executive staff now as women never have been before.
There are of that our of our leadership team. We've
(22:06):
got several black women that are vps that had never
happened before, like celebrating the and I say black women,
but we've got several women.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Collectively that are vps. Being able to celebrate our moments
like that.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
We went to we have VP luncheons here for the
women within the organization. We've got thirteen women vps within
our building. Never happened before. So looking around and seeing
that these these women are in these positions because they
deserve to be there, and our executive team and our
and our organizations now are looking at qualified candidates regardless
(22:48):
of their gender, just brings me joy, Like I can
go on and on about that, because I thought to
get someone to pay attention to me. First, I thought
the best way to do it was to dumb myself
down and.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Where you know, baggy shorts and tennis shoes.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And then I thought, okay, then someone told me you
don't have to do that. And now all of a sudden,
people are accepting you and your expertise and your value
because you belonged there.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
It's just really cool to see.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You know, we could spend so much time trying to
crack the code on you know, what will garner support
for me in this role and in this opportunity and
the secret sauce is being yourself, because that is an
added value that no one can bring to the table
but you. And so I'm really there's something that you
(23:36):
said in your answer where you talked about this moment
to celebrate, you know, you gathering to celebrate the group
of women that are doing the work and are excelling
in those positions. Sometimes I think we we focus a
lot on what's not happening, and you know, the more
(23:56):
that needs to be done that can be true, and
and also really making sure that we take opportunity to
celebrate and experience joy in the journey, because it takes
a lot of work to get anywhere in life. And
so if you just spend the entire time fighting the
whole way to this destination that you don't even know
(24:19):
what the destination is, you'll be exhausted and you'll miss
the moments. You'll miss all of the amazing moments that
are taking place.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yes, I actually had this conversation with a young lady
on Tuesday, this exact conversation, and she's been really sad, right,
she's been her energy has been different than than who
I know I've.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Known her to be. And so I called her and
I said, I want to just talk about it. What's
going on with you?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And she said her exact words were, if they don't
treat me the way I feel like I deserve to
be treated, then they don't deserve the best version of me.
And I said, honey, but don't you deserve the best
version of you? Don't you deserve so you're going to
allow the energy of someone else to take you away
from who you are? I said, you can't give you
(25:10):
can't give them that control.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
What do you deserve?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
You have to think about less about what you're giving
others and more about what you're pouring into yourself.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And so I encourage you and I challenge you. I
challenged her.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
I was like, let me see the best version of you,
and don't do it for anybody else. Do it for yourself,
because there's something you're supposed to be learning right now
and it's a very pivotal part in your in your life.
I was telling her, I said, we used to have
a coach that would say I got some good news
and some bad news.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Which one you want first? And she goes, well, I
want the bad news, And I said, well, the.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Bad news is you running out of time because if
you're spending your time focusing on what someone else is
doing to bring you down, you're draining yourself and you're
allowing that to control the narrative of who you are
going to be. Come I said, But the good news
is you got time. So take this opportunity and take
this moment and really figure out what you're supposed to
(26:09):
be learning right now versus what is being taken away
from you right now. And if you can master that,
if you can master when the times aren't great or
less than desirable or and or aren't good, what you're
supposed to be learning in those moments, Because it's easy
when things are great, right The challenge is when it's
not so great. What are you supposed to be learning
(26:30):
right now? But you can't allow others to control who
you become.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yeah, we gotta we got it. We can't throw on
a towel, because that's in the journey you'll get You'll
you'll get that all the way, every step of the way.
You'll have moments where you'll be celebated, celebrated and elevated,
and then you'll have times where you'll get the responses
like you were receiving along the way. Where opportunity was
(26:56):
not given to you, but you you don't want to
give up there. So part of your contribution has been
through philanthropic work with the Titans Foundation. Why is community
outreach and impact such a priority for you?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know?
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Part of the reason why community outreach and impact are
such a priority to me is because I'm a product
of someone taking the time to.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Pour into me.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I mean, I think oftentimes we think about how much
we do for others, but we don't necessarily recognize the
value of how two things, of how much when you
help someone else it impacts them in a positive way,
but also how it impacts you in a positive way.
I will say there were moments, you know, or there
(27:46):
are moments because I'm still actively engaged with our community
impact team, that I go in with the mindset that
I'm helping someone else and I walk out in tears
of how much that other person has helped me. I
think that's something that we need to think about more,
whether it be organizationally, within the communities that you live within,
(28:10):
your social circles, with your family, or just with yourself,
like how can you give back to others? I think
our journeys are intentional it's the journeys that we have
are intentional to help us be equipped to be able
to give ourselves to others and not hold it all inside.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
And so I love.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Being an active member of the community. I love engaging
in the community. I love determining and figuring out ways
that I can help, and I love helping people identify
that as well.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
If you're looking for.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
The best way to get connected, figure out what your
passions are, where you feel most strongly about providing and
giving to others, and then go do that. But it's
something that I think we all have a responsibility for.
But I think it's not a responsibility that should be burdened.
I think it's a responsibility that we to own and
see how helping others can also be an asset and
(29:03):
helping ourselves.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
So, Tina, when you hang up your cleats for the
last time at the Titans Organization, what would you consider
two have having had success?
Speaker 3 (29:25):
My professional success would be I left it all on
the field. I put it all out there. I mean
I used myself, I used my whole self right. I
helped others, I grew others helped me. I developed things,
I learned, I became better as a person professionally both
(29:49):
and what I did, I learned more about what others did.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
I gave I hoped.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
I can hope that others felt valued when they were
around me. I can hope that people weren't fired. I
can hope that people learned from me, whether it was
in conversation or in in viewing or witnessing things that
I've done.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I hope people walk away feeling like, you know, I
have a joke a lot. I'm a big joker.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Whether people find me funny or not, I find myself hilarious.
But you know, one of the things I often say
is my door is always open and the lessons closed.
But because I want people to feel so comfortable always
coming in and talking to me, regardless of what's going on.
I want to be there for people in a way
that people may not necessarily have someone else that can
(30:39):
be there for them. I also want, you know, people
to recognize the value and who they are and what
they bring. One of my other little weird sayings is
there is.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
No eye in Teine.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
But there isn't Tina, because I think we all have
and I find I'm so glad you're laughing.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Tell me because I find me.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Hilarious, but you know we all have that you, right Like,
it's not about the team. You don't have value in
the team if you don't recognize what you bring to
the team.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Absolutely, And so I just I just.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Hope that years from now people are remembering whenever that
day comes, and I don't know when that'll be, but
I hope people remember that my value was far beyond
just the work that I did, Right Like, we can
all be hired for a job because we all have
these impressive resumes and we can we can do the work,
(31:30):
But who am I at the core? And I hope
people will will remember the value that I added to
their lives as people, because I think caring about people
and caring about the organization and caring about helping people
get from wherever they are to where they want to
be is something that's always been important to me, and
I hope I'm remembered for that.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Let's move into our next segment, and this segment is
titled I Am bringing Her to the Table, and this
is your opportunity to give another woman her virtual flowers,
because you know you would not be where you are
today without her fingerprint on your life.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
My virtual flower. First of all, I don't know the
size of the table, but I'm gonna bring women to
the table with me because when I think about the
women that have poured into me growing up in my life,
I am so grateful. I have five women that immediately
(32:33):
come to mind. Of course, my mother was a saint.
I'll just leave that there because I'll start to cry
when I talk about her. But my mother was a saint.
My mother was the person that poured into everyone, and
when I was little, I didn't understand it. I would
see my mom pour into people and then they wouldn't
be very nice. And I remember going to my mom
(32:56):
and saying, why are you helping them?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
They're not nice people?
Speaker 3 (33:00):
And she said, you know, she would always have these
amazing little mic drop moments where it was, you know,
just because you don't see it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Mean God isn't doing it. And as a kid, you're like,
they're main I don't care. I wouldn't have that.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yeah, And so my mom was the most most wise
person I think. I think the people that didn't get
to witness or halftime with her, that's a disservice to them,
because she was amazing. My aunt had aunt, Charlie, who's
also passed on, and she was my professional society woman.
She taught me what it was like to own being
(33:39):
professional and to demand a certain level of respect. I
wanted to be her because she was classy and she
was she was confident, and she was beautiful inside and out,
and people when she walked into the room, people automatically
stopped what they were doing.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
And I loved that about her.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
My grandmother was autician, and so when you think about
the beauty shop and everybody coming in and there's all
this energy and excitement, my grandmother was the person that
would stop and tell you.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
My grandmother people would say to her, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
We called her Humps Humps, your little brand baby is
so cute, and she would say, isn't she? And I
love that because she didn't say thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
She would say isn't she?
Speaker 3 (34:25):
Though? Or people would say I love your outfit. You
look so nice, She say, don't I who had this
confidence that was through the roof And I.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Was just when I now see where you got it from.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
I'm telling we're friends here, So I'll share a little story.
Tina was not the name I was given at birth.
When I was little, I tell my parents I wanted
a name change. I wanted to be named after my grandma.
Her name was Mary Louise, and they said, we are
not changing your name. I wanted my name to be
Mary Loui. And so I went back.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
To them and I said, okay, compromise.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
This is six year old negotiator, right, And I said,
I love Ginger on Gilligan's Island.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Her name's Tina Louise. Right.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
So I named all my dolls. I had a cat
named Tina. I mean everybody like I would only answer
if they called me Tina. And so my parents said,
we're not going to change her name to Tina Louise,
but we will add Tina to your birth certificate. And
so that was like my grandmother was like, that's right,
you get them. Like she was the one that had
me thinking that I could do it all. So Humps
(35:34):
was everything. My sister have an older sister, Liz. I
have two older sisters, Liz and Roxy. Liz was the
she's considered she's nine years older than me, and so
I saw her journey through like school and she pledged
the sorority and she was like in college and like
I was so fascinated by that, and so she was
like the mom of how to be as I transitioned into.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
From a child, young adulthood to adulthood.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
So she was like my second mom and still is
to this day, like helping me see things logically, and
that's the one thing I love and respect about her.
And then I have my other sister, Roxy, who is
as feisty as they come. She has the confidence of
like a gold star. I don't know, but there's nothing
you can say that will break her. And so she
(36:25):
gives me that. You know, teen ain't you? You can
do whatever you want to teen, That's right, teenage. So
those women, like I am a melting pot of all
of that love and support and encouragement from that group
of women, and I'm very grateful to have had that
growing up and still having.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Some of it today.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
M h.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
All of them are coming to my table.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah, they gave you those some of those ingredients for
your success. Yes, speaking of ingredients, we're going to move
into our next segment, which is all about food. So
we have I have a few questions about some food,
(37:08):
and then I'm going We're going to play a little
game of this or that Oh. So the first question,
and our Food is Love segment is what food best
describes your personality and why?
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Probably spaghetti, particularly my mom spaghetti, because, like you think about,
when I talk about all these women that poured all
of this stuff into me, I'm some of like they
gave me something and I held on to a part
of it, right.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
So when you think about spaghetti, it's a comfort food.
That's my mom. It's hardy, you know, that's my aunt.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
It's got the little bit of spices that's my grandma,
and my sister Raxy. But then it's got some sweetness
that's my other sister Liz. So you think about the
pastas and the meats and the veggie and the sauces
and all of that poured into one pan to create
this amazing meal, like I would say, spaghetti would be Tina.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Okay, name a time in your life when food was
healing for you.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
It's still healing.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
So a couple of years ago, almost to the day,
my mother passed away, and my mother was and still
is the center of so much of who I am today.
I find myself quoting her a lot as I've gotten older.
You know, it's you've heard the saying like you become
your mom, like I have truly become my mom.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
And I love that because.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I really, you know, cherished all of the moments and
times that we got to spend together.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
If I had, if I have one more, i'd love it.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
But I'm grateful for everything she's done and how she
poured into me. But my mom spaghetti, I think that's
in a song somewhere, I don't know. But anyway, as
like my all time favorite food, my mom's sweet potato pie,
it is my all time favorite.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Deserve my mom's mac and cheese, like.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
These are, whether together or individual, I could have any
of those items again, like very healing. And so it's funny,
like not funny.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
But my mom passed away and which as she got older, we.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Didn't get the opportunity to get a lot of her recipes,
and that was one of the because she had dementia
and it affected her ability to remember everything as greatly
as she would have liked, and so we missed that opportunity.
And so my sisters they cooked really well, and they
try and they get close but not as close as
(39:48):
there is not perfect, right, but they cooked really really
well and it's very good.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
But it's not my mom's.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
And so most recently, my husband was making spaghetti and
he made I didn't know this was something that he
knew how to make.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
He made it.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
It was He's a great cook, but I'd never tasted
his spaghetti before and he made it and I took
a bite of it, and no exaggeration, it was so
emotional for me because it was the closest to my
mom's spaghetti that I've had since she passed away, and
so it's like to be able to have that part
of her has been something He's like, We're not gonna
(40:26):
have spaghetti every week. Him make enough for me to
eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for at least
a few days, because it is very therapeutic for me
when I put that spoone in it or that fork
in that spaghetti and eat it.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
So I know you said that, you know you all
didn't get an opportunity to get your mom's recipes from her.
Was your grandmother a cook as well? Where there were
these recipes that your mom that were legacy inspired from
her mom and it just kind of was passed through
(41:04):
to that generation. Do y'all have those types of recipes.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
My sister, my oldest sister, Liz does she.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
So my mom was the youngest of nine, seven sisters
and two boys. And you would if you went to
eat at my aunt Shirley's house, or my aunt Gussie's house,
or my afraid Joyce's house. The food was so consistent,
like every meal tasted the same. It was amazing how
(41:34):
they were such like amazing cooks. And they it wasn't
it wasn't written anywhere. It was like a pinch of this,
a hint of that, and just a little dab of that.
Now sprinkle some of that over there, and then you
taste this moon and you say, I need just a
hint of saut, just a hint. And it was amazing
to watch them. My older sister got to experience it
a lot more than I did because she was in
(41:55):
the room when they were cooking, so she has a
lot of that. And so we have Thanksgiving meals like
there are staples that our family is going to have
and it's not just the meal, it's how it's prepared.
Like That's why I'm very intentional with saying my mom's spaghetti,
because it's not prepared like everybody else's so don't just
make me some spaghetti and think I'm gonna like it,
(42:18):
like it has to be prepared a certain way. But
the spaghetti, the sweet potato pie, the macaroni and cheese, omg,
is so amazing.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Beef stew. I know how to make that.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
I actually made it last night, but that was my
mom's recipe. And yeah, like it's those things that don't
you don't eat them often, but when you do, it's
again I say, it's very it's like emotional to be
able to have them and taste them. I'm seriously, no exaggerating,
looking forward to get home tonight.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
So that I cannot.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Deep stick goring bread because that's like what I feel
when I feel like closest, Like it's the family ness
of a kitchen and.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Preparing that meal.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I have this theory with food where you know, I
so like your family. I grew up in a family
where we were also dump cooks, and so it was
you know, if you weren't in the kitchen actually in
the production of the food, you missed it because because
(43:24):
there were no measurements, there were no you know, written
down recipes. You just had to be there and see
it in motion. So you could pick it up, you
could catch it. And so I get that I come
from that type of family, and there were things that
I ate when I was younger that the experience always
(43:49):
felt like a big hug to me when I had
the opportunity to eat that food. And as an adult,
the nostalgia of eating that dish is is still present,
but it's sometimes just isn't the same. And so my
theory is that it was the love that was the
difference in you know, when my grandmother made it versus
(44:13):
someone else made it, or my mom made it versus
someone else. And so when you talked about the spaghetti
from your husband and you had that emotional response, while
it wasn't quite the same as your mother's, what was
in there was his love. Yeah, And because your his
(44:33):
love is special to you, that spaghetti became special to you.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Cry. That is so beautiful. It truly is like it.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
I mean, it's the like last night when we were
making the beef stew and I was standing there pellling
the potatoes and chopping the carrots and stuff, and like,
I think that's the excitement that I feel for wanting
to go and eat because beef stew, you know, you
gotta cook it for the rose before at whatever all.
But I think that's the excitement that I feel for
(45:05):
wanting to go and have it because it was something
that was done together and it was something I feel
like we put a lot of love into. But that's
what that's what I grew up with. Like I was
the youngest, and so they didn't push me out of
the kitchen. They gave me little things to do. Put
her over here and do this. But I remember like
there was somebody at every station. This person's over straining
(45:29):
the sweet potatoes, and this person's over here making the dough,
and like everybody had a responsibility. And when it came together,
oftentimes we would I would get in so much trouble
because we would eat a piece of something before it
was time.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
But it was because I couldn't wait like that, it
was just it was the excitement of it. I couldn't wait.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
And then as I grew older and I moved away
from home, whenever I would go home for special occasions,
like my mom would make three sweet potato pies, two
for the family that she would cook and then one
she would freeze from me to bring back to Nashville,
or wherever I was to cook, because I would I
just needed one for myself.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
But those because the love.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
You're right, The love that went into making those dishes
was beyond just food to eat. It was the cure
and the nurturing and the love and all of those
things that went into making it.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
That was was what made it feel so special.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Absolutely. Okay, Now let's get into this game of this
or that. Oh dear, Okay, barbecue ribs or pulled pork sandwich.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
I'm from Memphis, and I don't know if everyone knows this,
but we are famous for our ribs, so that part
of me says, yes, barbecue ribs. However, I love me
a good pull pork sandwich. Plot twist pull pork.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Sandwich, dry rup or wet sauce.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
Wet sauce, hands down, wet sauce.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Yes, Gusses, Fried chicken or Uncle Lo's fried chicken. Gusses,
what's the difference.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
I don't know. I like it. What's like you? There's
nothing you can do to change it? Some Gusses.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Okay, I think I know the answer to this one.
But sweet potato pie or peach cobbler.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Oh my goodness, easy, layup, sweet potato piewet potato pie.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
I love it like, I love it so much.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
I'm telling you like it was so funny, Like my
mom would make these pies and people would be like,
why does she get a whole pie to take back?
We gotta get slices, and she eats some of those
slices and then she gets a whole pot of take back.
I would eat it for breakfast. I would eat it
at lunch. I would eat it.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
I mean I could eat a sweet potato pie in
a day. Easy. Love it so much?
Speaker 1 (47:57):
Are you the baby?
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Why does that matter? Tommy? I'm just asking, like, why
is that important?
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Your hot wings?
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Catfish? Oh love catfish? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:21):
My granddaddy used to go and get catfish and we
would oh yeah, so catfish hands down.
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
Corn Bread or biscuits.
Speaker 3 (48:29):
It depends on the meal. So are we talking? Like
I'm doing cornbread tonight with my beef stew. Corn bread.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
We'll go with cornbread.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Sweet to your lemonade?
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Can we do both?
Speaker 3 (48:41):
Can we do like the the the Arnold Palmer or
I would say lemonade, yes, lemonade.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
And last but not least, banana pudding or pecan pie.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
Okay, this is gonna be a very unpopular response. But
I don't like either.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I like me.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
Yeah, that's tough for me. No, I can't. I don't
like either of them. Hey, listen to a southern year
old who doesn't like the confide.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Listen. That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. But thank you
for being a good sport and playing the game with me.
And thank you for coming to the table today and
sharing your wealth of knowledge and experience. I believe that
our listening community will have an opportunity to pool some
(49:41):
quotables because you gave us some great ones and some
words to live by. And I appreciate the value that
you've added to our community today. Is there anything that
we did not talk about that you would like to
share with our community?
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Thank you for having me for starters.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
I appreciate any opportunity to be able to have conversations
like this because oftentimes it's again I'm like, I'm a
melting pot. I try to learn and grow whenever there's
a chance, and whenever there's a moment that I can
have some nugget that's going to make me be a
better version of myself. So thank you for allowing me
(50:20):
to even be here to have this conversation. But I
love the conversation. I love the opportunity to encourage. I
encourage other people to have these levels of conversation because
somebody ever, all of us have something that we can
pour into someone else. We don't necessarily see ourselves as
(50:41):
you know you think about people will say, oh, my
boss is a leader, or you know, the person over
in my church is a leader, or the head of
my family is a leader. But I think we all
have that ability in us to lead, and so I would,
you know, I would encourage people who are listening and
the community of people listening to Stale Wild podcast to
(51:04):
find what you can do to pour into someone else,
because I think we can all be better when we
look to bring each other up.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
So thank you for having me. But I'd love to talk.
We can talk. It's so fun. I can do this
for a whole nother hour. So this has been great.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Thank you. I really appreciate and I appreciate you coming
to stay a while, and just know, Tina, there is
always a seat for you at my table.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
I'm gonna come. I'll be there. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
I hope you felt the love and connection in today's conversation.
Every woman you heard from has faced the impossible and
emerged stronger. This is your personal invitation to stay a
while longer at TOMMYV dot com. That's t o mmiv
dot com for more inspiration for your mind, body and
(51:56):
soul and let's not forget your belly. You're always welcome
at my table. Please be sure to subscribe, make yourself
at home, and stay a wild. Stay Wow
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Gone, Stay Wow
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