Hear best selling author, Sylvia Worsham, and her most interesting backstory. Sylvia's day was a surgeon who served our country in Vietnam. He saved many lives and gave the ultimate sacrifice by losing his life to exposure to Agent Orange.
Listen to lessons of integrity, gold standards in parenting and core values that are applicable to your life.
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Listen to lessons of integrity, gold standards in parenting and core values that are applicable to your life.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/success-made-to-last-legends--4302039/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey, welcome back to success made the last time Rick Tookenny.
I hope that you all caught Sylvia Worsham's first program
with us. She's back again. She talked about the three
miracles that she received on Easter weekend and twenty twelve,
so intriguing one of those inflection points. And Sylvia, it's
(00:29):
great to have you back. And I think we're going
to talk a little bit about your dad today.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm excited. I always love talking about him because he
was such a great man.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
The first time you and I met, you mentioned that
everybody in your family was a doctor, and I went, well,
what about you. You're you're an outstanding author. You've written
in Fate I Thrive, finding joy through God's master plan
your act together. So tell me the little story about
(01:04):
your dad and some insights and lessons that he taught
you to make you the person that you are today.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So, my dad was someone that always did the right thing,
no matter how hard it was, and it was evident
when he first came to this country in nineteen sixty seven,
he walked into the visa office and the first question
they asked him was are you willing to fight for Vietnam?
And he knew intuitively if he said no, he would
be denied, and he really wanted to provide a better
life for his family. He had already picked out the girl,
(01:33):
my mom, they'd been dating for the last seven years
during medical school, and he had this vision of wanting
to spend and open his practice here in the United States.
So he came through legal channels, did all the right things,
and in effect he actually did get sent to Vietnam
as a surgeon, not as a soldier. So he comes
(01:58):
back and he's one that really taught us a great
deal about integrity because he did it despite it being
a very hard thing to do, to go fight for
a country that wasn't your own, and to do it
well right. He saved a lot of American lives, and
ultimately he gave up. He gave the ultimate sacrifice because
(02:19):
what took his life away last year was a mening
ingoma that developed during those years because of his exposure
to agent Orange. And when I asked Dad, would he
do it all over again? And he said yes, knowing
what he knew that he would develop this man in joma,
that it would cut his professional life shore. When he
was sixty three years old, and I thought that was
(02:40):
extraordinary coming from someone who could have easily been very
bitter and resentful towards the US government. He never was.
He was someone that said, I made a choice, and
I know there's natural consequences to that choice, you know,
and that's what we call free will, right, And he
never blamed God for any of the things that happened
to him. He was someone that, aside from being a
(03:04):
man that lived by integrity, he was extremely generous with
his money with his children. He paid for all of
our education, including my siblings who went to medical school.
I was someone that he always wanted me to be
either a doctor or a lawyer. In fact, I think
he really wanted me to be a lawyer because I
was very verbal and very well. I spoke very well,
(03:29):
and I spoke several languages. And he said, you know,
you could always be an international lawyer. But I just
didn't like the law, you know. And I think for
him it was as a parent. I can understand now
his stands. You know, you can see the immense capacity
in your child and they can't see the capacity in themselves,
(03:49):
and you push, push, push, and he pushed so hard
that eventually I was just like, no, I'm the wrong
person to push that, you know. And the interesting thing
with my dad was that forty years later he would
make the comment to several people that he had made
a mistake with me. He had underestimated me, you know,
was someone that really always kind of caught him off
(04:11):
guard because I was so internally motivated like him that
I became a super high achiever just like him. Success
was what I was after. I was very successful at Pfizer.
Even when I divorced. I never asked for any money
from him, which she was super proud of, because he
had a lot of dads that came up to me
and said, hey, how much did you put on this
(04:33):
down payment on her home? And he's like me paying
down payment for Sylvie, That's not going to happen, you know.
She would never allow that. I was so much as kid.
I was so proud of my accomplishments and how I
was able to kind of sustain it all. And that
was something he taught me as well. He's super hard worker,
super generous, super His perseverance was us amazing and that's
(05:02):
something that I know I have from him. It's something
he modeled to me and it's something I'm When you
asked me earlier, how was I so internally motivated? I've
been through so much in my life, and I've learned
the lesson of perseverance and how it pays off to
keep going despite the challenges that we encounter in life.
And so those are the things that I must admire.
(05:24):
And this about my dad and things that I've learned
from him.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I hear I don't know your dad, but I can
hear a voice in there of his core values. And
now after you've told me that, I can recall things
that you've said in class that represent his voice, and
it's love and it's a lovely thing. How in what
(05:50):
other ways do those core values manifest themselves in your
life coaching of others?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, the integrity piece is something I've always been very
proud of. One of the things that when Brian was
interviewing me for to be part of this group for
the church, he asked me, you know, how would you
handle someone that doesn't like or doesn't want to work
with you? And I said, you know what, I would
welcome that. He kind of looked at me really funny,
(06:20):
and I kind of shared a story of how my
integrity really is in action. When I coach, if I
encounter a situation where they don't like me or they
don't feel comfortable with me, I actually have referred that
person out to another coach that I think would be
a better fit for them, because ultimately it's about the person.
(06:45):
My father was someone who always put the patient's needs
up front and center. He was a urologist. Now, for
those who don't know what a urologist does, he's the
surgeon for like the kidney complications or of the bladder
complications that we have that nephrologists or endocrino just would
treat right. And there were times that patients would come
into his office and they wanted surgery and my father
(07:07):
would take a look at their file and say, you
don't need surgery, and see, urologists, that's how they make
their money is through surgery. That's how they make office
visits don't really make money. So he would tell them
this is this is my recommendation, this is what I see.
You're welcome to a second opinion because you're the patient.
(07:28):
And they would go and get a second opinion, and
then they would ultimately come back to him. And I
learned that from him. And I remember one time at
Pfizer I had a doctor who and this is when
I was a single mom, who came to me and said,
I think I have the best patient for this drug
that I used to carry for Pfiser and hospitals. It
was extremely expensive, and he was talking about the case.
(07:51):
Within two sentences, I knew that it was not a
patient for me, but I let the doctor finish his
whole course, and I said, you know, I really appreciate
you coming up to me and saying you want to
help me, because you see me, I'm a single mom
and I need to make money and all these things.
But this patient's not for me. This patients for this
(08:13):
competitor of mine, and this is why. And I went
through the whole case and I pointed out why this
person would be better off handed over. And they said, so,
do you realize what six weeks of therapy means to you?
And I said, yeah, but I'm thinking of the patient.
I'm not thinking of me. And see, when you find
(08:34):
your identity in Christ, when you're someone that lives by
that identity every day, you make those choices. They're hard
choices to make, but they're the best choices to make
because I think, what if that were my grandfather, I
would want that rap to say that drug's not for
that for my grandfather. I would want my grandfather to live.
(08:55):
And so that's the level of integrity that I bring
to my coaching. If I see that I cannot help them.
Like the other day, they were wanting to work with
me and they had depression. I said, you don't. Depression
is not within my wheelhouse. I think what you need
is a therapist that is that is more qualified to
get you out of this dark hole that you find
yourself in. Is And I'm doing this because I love you.
(09:17):
I don't want you to die. I don't want you
to get so dark that you consider suicide. So I'm
going to refer you to a therapist friend of mine.
And I did that.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, that is That's where Christ is so in you
and externally represented that you're just now doing things instinctively
the right way for all the right reasons.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
All right? So all right, Sylvia, I want to I
want to use the last five minutes of this show
for you to address a national issue, and the national
disease as we see it. We take a snapshot today
is loneliness and belonging. I love for you to explain
(10:07):
why you think we have a problem and what do
you think are some long term solutions for in general
Americans that are feeling lonely and who don't have a
sense of belonging.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know, I have a very particular viewpoint on this
because I was someone that was bullied so extensively in
high school, and I know what it feels like to
not belong or to have that eagerness to belong. But
one of the things that I've learned through my journey
is that we are already valuable because we're God's child.
(10:43):
And when we start to seek Him in our everyday
lives and we stop putting that responsibility on others to
give us what we need, we start to get ourselves
out of that need of belonging because we belong to Him.
(11:04):
And when we belong to Him, none of that other
outside stuff will matter. It won't even penetrate you anymore.
But it takes a couple of steps. It takes, first
of all, an awareness of where you are in your
relationship with Christ. If your relationship with Christ is out
there in the far corners of the earth. Start talking
to him every single day. Start inviting him, even if
(11:26):
it's slow, even it's just five minutes a day, invite
him in. When you seek him with all your heart,
you will find them. You will realize that he's been
there all along, and in and of itself. It's something
that we have forgotten about. We have forgotten that he's
there and that he provides us with everything that we need. Now,
(11:49):
he did say we need community, We need people to
be there for others. Rightwise, he wouldn't have created Eve
for Adam if he thought that we could do this
on our own and just with him. So for those
that are lonely, I really highly encourage you to start
(12:13):
taking yourself outside of your home and start making new
friends or make new environments. Get into your churches, try
to build your community there. Try to find people that
have your values. Now, if you don't know what your
values are, take a step back and just kind of
like sit in reflection with your cup of coffee or
tea or whatever it is that when your mind is
(12:34):
clear of all the noise of the outside world, and
ask yourself, what are my values? What are my three
main values? And where can I find people that have
those values, and I would start there because our values
is who we are, and we are for a very
particular reason in this earth because the gifts we've been
(12:54):
given by Christ are the ones we're supposed to be
using on a daily basis. So one of the things
that also gets us out of this funk and like
belonging or whatever, is when we give to others. When
we use that gift of giving, we start to feel
like we belonged somewhere and we have a sense of
purpose in our lives. And that starts to cure us
(13:17):
and heal us from the inside out, because the issue
lies on the inside. It's your belief systems, it's what
you believe about yourself. But when you invite God and
you ask them to dispel those lives within you and
you start slowly, then all these things starts to everything
kind of falls into place and you start stepping into
that beautiful light that you are in this world.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
What a powerful message, perfect timing, by the way, for
our forty days of that we're going through now leading
up to the celebration of Resurrection Day. Sylvia, it is
great to know you. Thank you for being on and
you were welcome back anytime. The Welcome Matt is officially
(14:06):
out for Sylvia Worsham, author of In Faith I Thrive
of Finding Joy through God's master Plan. Thank you, my friend,
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It was such a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And we hope, folks, that you enjoy today's message and
that you're inspired by it. And Sylvia, give us your
website just in case folks want to contact you and
learn more.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Sure it's www dot Sylvia spelled s y l vs
and Victor I A W O R s h A
M dot com.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Easy enough, that's Sylvia worst dot com.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Folks.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
We hope that you all have a great weekend and
we wish you more successful on your way to significance.
Have bring
Hey, welcome back to success made the last time Rick Tookenny.
I hope that you all caught Sylvia Worsham's first program
with us. She's back again. She talked about the three
miracles that she received on Easter weekend and twenty twelve,
so intriguing one of those inflection points. And Sylvia, it's
(00:29):
great to have you back. And I think we're going
to talk a little bit about your dad today.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm excited. I always love talking about him because he
was such a great man.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
The first time you and I met, you mentioned that
everybody in your family was a doctor, and I went, well,
what about you. You're you're an outstanding author. You've written
in Fate I Thrive, finding joy through God's master plan
your act together. So tell me the little story about
(01:04):
your dad and some insights and lessons that he taught
you to make you the person that you are today.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So, my dad was someone that always did the right thing,
no matter how hard it was, and it was evident
when he first came to this country in nineteen sixty seven,
he walked into the visa office and the first question
they asked him was are you willing to fight for Vietnam?
And he knew intuitively if he said no, he would
be denied, and he really wanted to provide a better
life for his family. He had already picked out the girl,
(01:33):
my mom, they'd been dating for the last seven years
during medical school, and he had this vision of wanting
to spend and open his practice here in the United States.
So he came through legal channels, did all the right things,
and in effect he actually did get sent to Vietnam
as a surgeon, not as a soldier. So he comes
(01:58):
back and he's one that really taught us a great
deal about integrity because he did it despite it being
a very hard thing to do, to go fight for
a country that wasn't your own, and to do it
well right. He saved a lot of American lives, and
ultimately he gave up. He gave the ultimate sacrifice because
(02:19):
what took his life away last year was a mening
ingoma that developed during those years because of his exposure
to agent Orange. And when I asked Dad, would he
do it all over again? And he said yes, knowing
what he knew that he would develop this man in joma,
that it would cut his professional life shore. When he
was sixty three years old, and I thought that was
(02:40):
extraordinary coming from someone who could have easily been very
bitter and resentful towards the US government. He never was.
He was someone that said, I made a choice, and
I know there's natural consequences to that choice, you know,
and that's what we call free will, right, And he
never blamed God for any of the things that happened
to him. He was someone that, aside from being a
(03:04):
man that lived by integrity, he was extremely generous with
his money with his children. He paid for all of
our education, including my siblings who went to medical school.
I was someone that he always wanted me to be
either a doctor or a lawyer. In fact, I think
he really wanted me to be a lawyer because I
was very verbal and very well. I spoke very well,
(03:29):
and I spoke several languages. And he said, you know,
you could always be an international lawyer. But I just
didn't like the law, you know. And I think for
him it was as a parent. I can understand now
his stands. You know, you can see the immense capacity
in your child and they can't see the capacity in themselves,
(03:49):
and you push, push, push, and he pushed so hard
that eventually I was just like, no, I'm the wrong
person to push that, you know. And the interesting thing
with my dad was that forty years later he would
make the comment to several people that he had made
a mistake with me. He had underestimated me, you know,
was someone that really always kind of caught him off
(04:11):
guard because I was so internally motivated like him that
I became a super high achiever just like him. Success
was what I was after. I was very successful at Pfizer.
Even when I divorced. I never asked for any money
from him, which she was super proud of, because he
had a lot of dads that came up to me
and said, hey, how much did you put on this
(04:33):
down payment on her home? And he's like me paying
down payment for Sylvie, That's not going to happen, you know.
She would never allow that. I was so much as kid.
I was so proud of my accomplishments and how I
was able to kind of sustain it all. And that
was something he taught me as well. He's super hard worker,
super generous, super His perseverance was us amazing and that's
(05:02):
something that I know I have from him. It's something
he modeled to me and it's something I'm When you
asked me earlier, how was I so internally motivated? I've
been through so much in my life, and I've learned
the lesson of perseverance and how it pays off to
keep going despite the challenges that we encounter in life.
And so those are the things that I must admire.
(05:24):
And this about my dad and things that I've learned
from him.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I hear I don't know your dad, but I can
hear a voice in there of his core values. And
now after you've told me that, I can recall things
that you've said in class that represent his voice, and
it's love and it's a lovely thing. How in what
(05:50):
other ways do those core values manifest themselves in your
life coaching of others?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, the integrity piece is something I've always been very
proud of. One of the things that when Brian was
interviewing me for to be part of this group for
the church, he asked me, you know, how would you
handle someone that doesn't like or doesn't want to work
with you? And I said, you know what, I would
welcome that. He kind of looked at me really funny,
(06:20):
and I kind of shared a story of how my
integrity really is in action. When I coach, if I
encounter a situation where they don't like me or they
don't feel comfortable with me, I actually have referred that
person out to another coach that I think would be
a better fit for them, because ultimately it's about the person.
(06:45):
My father was someone who always put the patient's needs
up front and center. He was a urologist. Now, for
those who don't know what a urologist does, he's the
surgeon for like the kidney complications or of the bladder
complications that we have that nephrologists or endocrino just would
treat right. And there were times that patients would come
into his office and they wanted surgery and my father
(07:07):
would take a look at their file and say, you
don't need surgery, and see, urologists, that's how they make
their money is through surgery. That's how they make office
visits don't really make money. So he would tell them
this is this is my recommendation, this is what I see.
You're welcome to a second opinion because you're the patient.
(07:28):
And they would go and get a second opinion, and
then they would ultimately come back to him. And I
learned that from him. And I remember one time at
Pfizer I had a doctor who and this is when
I was a single mom, who came to me and said,
I think I have the best patient for this drug
that I used to carry for Pfiser and hospitals. It
was extremely expensive, and he was talking about the case.
(07:51):
Within two sentences, I knew that it was not a
patient for me, but I let the doctor finish his
whole course, and I said, you know, I really appreciate
you coming up to me and saying you want to
help me, because you see me, I'm a single mom
and I need to make money and all these things.
But this patient's not for me. This patients for this
(08:13):
competitor of mine, and this is why. And I went
through the whole case and I pointed out why this
person would be better off handed over. And they said, so,
do you realize what six weeks of therapy means to you?
And I said, yeah, but I'm thinking of the patient.
I'm not thinking of me. And see, when you find
(08:34):
your identity in Christ, when you're someone that lives by
that identity every day, you make those choices. They're hard
choices to make, but they're the best choices to make
because I think, what if that were my grandfather, I
would want that rap to say that drug's not for
that for my grandfather. I would want my grandfather to live.
(08:55):
And so that's the level of integrity that I bring
to my coaching. If I see that I cannot help them.
Like the other day, they were wanting to work with
me and they had depression. I said, you don't. Depression
is not within my wheelhouse. I think what you need
is a therapist that is that is more qualified to
get you out of this dark hole that you find
yourself in. Is And I'm doing this because I love you.
(09:17):
I don't want you to die. I don't want you
to get so dark that you consider suicide. So I'm
going to refer you to a therapist friend of mine.
And I did that.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, that is That's where Christ is so in you
and externally represented that you're just now doing things instinctively
the right way for all the right reasons.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
All right? So all right, Sylvia, I want to I
want to use the last five minutes of this show
for you to address a national issue, and the national
disease as we see it. We take a snapshot today
is loneliness and belonging. I love for you to explain
(10:07):
why you think we have a problem and what do
you think are some long term solutions for in general
Americans that are feeling lonely and who don't have a
sense of belonging.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know, I have a very particular viewpoint on this
because I was someone that was bullied so extensively in
high school, and I know what it feels like to
not belong or to have that eagerness to belong. But
one of the things that I've learned through my journey
is that we are already valuable because we're God's child.
(10:43):
And when we start to seek Him in our everyday
lives and we stop putting that responsibility on others to
give us what we need, we start to get ourselves
out of that need of belonging because we belong to Him.
(11:04):
And when we belong to Him, none of that other
outside stuff will matter. It won't even penetrate you anymore.
But it takes a couple of steps. It takes, first
of all, an awareness of where you are in your
relationship with Christ. If your relationship with Christ is out
there in the far corners of the earth. Start talking
to him every single day. Start inviting him, even if
(11:26):
it's slow, even it's just five minutes a day, invite
him in. When you seek him with all your heart,
you will find them. You will realize that he's been
there all along, and in and of itself. It's something
that we have forgotten about. We have forgotten that he's
there and that he provides us with everything that we need. Now,
(11:49):
he did say we need community, We need people to
be there for others. Rightwise, he wouldn't have created Eve
for Adam if he thought that we could do this
on our own and just with him. So for those
that are lonely, I really highly encourage you to start
(12:13):
taking yourself outside of your home and start making new
friends or make new environments. Get into your churches, try
to build your community there. Try to find people that
have your values. Now, if you don't know what your
values are, take a step back and just kind of
like sit in reflection with your cup of coffee or
tea or whatever it is that when your mind is
(12:34):
clear of all the noise of the outside world, and
ask yourself, what are my values? What are my three
main values? And where can I find people that have
those values, and I would start there because our values
is who we are, and we are for a very
particular reason in this earth because the gifts we've been
(12:54):
given by Christ are the ones we're supposed to be
using on a daily basis. So one of the things
that also gets us out of this funk and like
belonging or whatever, is when we give to others. When
we use that gift of giving, we start to feel
like we belonged somewhere and we have a sense of
purpose in our lives. And that starts to cure us
(13:17):
and heal us from the inside out, because the issue
lies on the inside. It's your belief systems, it's what
you believe about yourself. But when you invite God and
you ask them to dispel those lives within you and
you start slowly, then all these things starts to everything
kind of falls into place and you start stepping into
that beautiful light that you are in this world.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
What a powerful message, perfect timing, by the way, for
our forty days of that we're going through now leading
up to the celebration of Resurrection Day. Sylvia, it is
great to know you. Thank you for being on and
you were welcome back anytime. The Welcome Matt is officially
(14:06):
out for Sylvia Worsham, author of In Faith I Thrive
of Finding Joy through God's master Plan. Thank you, my friend,
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
It was such a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And we hope, folks, that you enjoy today's message and
that you're inspired by it. And Sylvia, give us your
website just in case folks want to contact you and
learn more.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Sure it's www dot Sylvia spelled s y l vs
and Victor I A W O R s h A
M dot com.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Easy enough, that's Sylvia worst dot com.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Folks.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
We hope that you all have a great weekend and
we wish you more successful on your way to significance.
Have bring
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!