Enjoyed this incredible conversation with the Truly Significant Tom LaNoble.
YOU are a summation of all of our parts and chapters. His book My LIfe in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns, and High Heels, reveals his 13 year battle with cancer, profound loss, personal ups and downs. HE BELIEVED HE COULD BE through resilience and risk taking, embracing change while creating meaningful impact.
Listen to Tom's life lessons of gratitude and grace through health crisis and corporate adventures. He puts his gratitude into action daily.
Hear about being one of Facebook's first employees working for 19 year old Mark Zuckerberg.
Learn Tom's profound tips on improving listening skills.
And for Board of Directors listening today, get Tom's insight on his Haystack process for CEO's. Clear out the hay so they can find the proverbial needle.
Buy Tom's book today wherever books are sold- Order My Life in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns and High Heels and be changed forever.
"Experiment, go do the experiences, find your way, stay present, listen, lose judgement of others, uplift others everyday of your life."
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/success-made-to-last-legends--4302039/support.
YOU are a summation of all of our parts and chapters. His book My LIfe in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns, and High Heels, reveals his 13 year battle with cancer, profound loss, personal ups and downs. HE BELIEVED HE COULD BE through resilience and risk taking, embracing change while creating meaningful impact.
Listen to Tom's life lessons of gratitude and grace through health crisis and corporate adventures. He puts his gratitude into action daily.
Hear about being one of Facebook's first employees working for 19 year old Mark Zuckerberg.
Learn Tom's profound tips on improving listening skills.
And for Board of Directors listening today, get Tom's insight on his Haystack process for CEO's. Clear out the hay so they can find the proverbial needle.
Buy Tom's book today wherever books are sold- Order My Life in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns and High Heels and be changed forever.
"Experiment, go do the experiences, find your way, stay present, listen, lose judgement of others, uplift others everyday of your life."
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/success-made-to-last-legends--4302039/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey, welcome back to Truly Significant dot com Presents. I'm
Rick Tokeeney. I'm so excited to have on our guest today,
Tom LeNoble. He is debuting his book My Life in Business, Suits,
hospital gowns, and high Heels. It's been described with several
alliterations boardrooms, breakdowns, breakthroughs, wild, witty, and wonderful, and I
(00:34):
love all that, Tom, But I want to read a
little bit about what you've accomplished and then we'll just
dive right into the questions. You are a seasoned executive
leadership coach. I know you're a speaker. You've held wonderful
positions at companies like MCI, Walmart, Palm, Facebook. We've had
probably a lot of your peers on this show, especially
(00:58):
from Palm, and now what you're doing we considered to
be moving from success to significance. And while you're debuting
this book, our real reason for wanting to talk to
you today is to tap into the science of significance
in your epiphanies in life. So welcome, Tom LeNoble. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
It's so great to be with you. I've been looking
forward to this time.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Well, listen, the accomplishment of writing a book is often understated,
and so we're so glad that you're able to do that.
And so why is it taking you so long to
write this book?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, I wrote it sixteen years ago and it was
so cathartic. I put it in the closet and said,
I'm finished with this. And then a few years ago
I have this year in practice I've been doing for
over thirty five years, and I end the year with
some things, and I set intentions for the new year,
and this book came into my mind, and I decided
(02:02):
I'm either going to trash it or I'm going to
run with it. And I made the decision to run
with it. And I want you to know every possible
door that could open has opened. So I knew that
I was onto something that I needed to do it.
I needed to get this out in the world.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Good man, the timing is right. And you've worn many
outfits in life, as the title suggest, the business suit,
the hospital gown, and yes, even the metaphorical high heels
of walking and other shoes. How have all these garments
symbolized your evolution as a human being?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well, you know, I had a wonderful career. You named
the companies. And I remember sitting at my desk at
Palm one day after I was coming back from international travel,
which I did a lot, and I got a phone
call and it was a recruiter from a little company
called Facebook, and it was in colleges. I didn't even
know what it was. I thank them graciously and hung up,
(03:02):
and a buddy called and said, I referred you to Facebook.
You didn't even talk to them. Well, long story short,
and it is a good story. I interviewed with Mark
Zuckerberg when he was nineteen, What an experience that was,
and went and set up their customer operations. But I
had these corporate experiences, and I like to say I
retired being retired to be inspired. I fell in love,
(03:26):
got married, traveled the world, and I knew I had
more wisdom to share. And so this book came back
into my life as part of the things that I do,
because what I see is that who we are today
is the summation of who we've been throughout our life,
and some of those chapters in our life we either
(03:49):
feel shame for they're outrageous, we keep them private, or
we just simply think somebody wouldn't understand and what I'm
here to share with the reader is with all those parts,
you wouldn't be who you are today and then sharing
them I hope I bring by exposing some of my
deepest secrets, I expose to others how these parts in
(04:12):
our lives are who we are today and in fact,
who will continue to be because you don't get a
do over.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's exactly right. You're so in the moment, and you've
lived through moments that most of us will read about
but never experience, especially the Silicon Valley. And you read
and you will read about folks near death experiences and
Tom's reinvention. So through all of that, is there a
(04:48):
thread that brings it all together?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
There is you know, when you're given six months to
live three times to life threatening illness, as one I
was told was termolin. I today have lived with metastatic
cancer for thirteen years and I'm still here. And all
of the things you shared with your viewers. What's going
to surprise many people that I worked with as I
(05:16):
was sick during all of what you shared. And I
think that people ask me sometimes, Tom, what is it
that you think? Why is it you think you're still here? Well,
I've had the best medical care. I've had access to
some of the best treatment. I couldn't have been more
(05:36):
fortunate in those areas. But there's one thing I know
for sure that's true. I believed I could be.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
This makes the difference. It's your mental position. I bet
you we could do a podcast series with you for
the next year. So I've got to get in some
zinger questions.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
We know you're one of the first one hundred at Facebook,
and there's this nineteen year old leader who may or
may not have a big ego or a big dream,
but he came in with some sense of what control meant.
How is your definition of control change since you've faced
your own mortality.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
You know, it's such an interesting story that I hope
your viewers will read about arriving there at Facebook. I
remember the first day sitting at a desk in this
huge room, and I thought to myself, I just gave
up a really cushy audience, I mean office, and here
I am, and I was literally old enough to be
everyone's father. Really, I was with a bunch of twenty
(06:46):
year olds that had just graduated from college Brown Harvard, Yale,
brilliant defering law school and business school, and here I
was physician looking in a room of people, wondering.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
What have I done well?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
What I learned about control from that experience was something
that I use every day. I work with a lot
of zoomers today, gen Z, and I've had the good
fortune of working with many generations which we all when
we're in that age, get identified as lazy or whatever
they want to say we're not doing when we're just
trying to find our way. What I learned about control
(07:22):
is that in giving up control, in enlisting others and
allowing them to control, not only do you get better
results because you've included people, but you just might learn something.
So I've applied that in all of these stages of
my life, even in the hospital settings, with the hospital gowns,
(07:45):
you know, that flimsy piece of fabric that never ties
in the back. Is that in giving up control, you
might learn something. You're going to gather information to help
you make better decisions. And so for me me, control
is about being willing to allow yourself to not be
(08:06):
in control, Like the book says, in control, being controlled,
and out of control. Each of these are states we
experience in our life and I think they each have
a lesson for us so powerful.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Through your medical journey, what have you learned about grace
and gratitude?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I think that gratitude is such a huge part of
my life today, and fortunately for me it has been
for many years. It's only been strengthened over the years.
But for me, gratitude and this setting is I could
go I've been radiated so much that I glow in
the dark.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I could be your night white at night.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And you know, you go into this experience and you
could go in with fear about what's going to happen
to you. Well, the way I manage that I get
a bad diagnosis, I look at my watch, Tom, you
got thirty minutes. Moan, cry, stomp your feet, whatever you
want to do, and let's get on with it. And
so when I approach that I could go there with
(09:13):
fear of how the outcome is going to be or
what's happening. Instead, I enchoose to express gratitude that I
have access to the treatment, that there's hope for me,
and that I can be present and look around that
waiting room and engage with others who may be feeling
fear that I once experienced. I don't interrupt them. I'm
(09:36):
not intrusive, but I start up a conversation, and often
what I find is somebody is so frightened about what's
getting ready to happen to them, and I just dismantle
that for them. The doctor doesn't tell you what the
experience is going to be. Like you're going to go
in a room there's a weird machine that's going to
whirl all around your body. But what you need to
(09:58):
know is it's not going to It's going to be
over and very quick. And look at me, I'm still here.
There's hope for you. So for me, I put my
gratitude into action every chance I get.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
It's almost as if your book should be required reading
for eighth graders, seniors in high school, in seniors in
college as a required narrative for how to live a
(10:36):
grateful and grace filled life and to be to have
some higher mindfulness. Please comment on that.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
You know, I think that is why I do what
I do today. You know, I really do everything I
do because I'm a philanthropist, and I was an anonymous
philanthropist forever, and I've exposed it a bit here in
the past year as this book is getting ready to
come out, and I work with underserved communities, youth and
the arts, first gen students, relevant at women's issues today,
(11:11):
some other things that I'm really passionate about. And I
think that we have these experiences in life that can
mold us and shape us, and we have the opportunity
to give back to others and share our wisdom with others.
And so what I am trying to do in this
(11:31):
life that quite frankly I could sit back in the
lawn chair, is do just that I have this period
of time. You know, we all don't realize that right now,
no matter what your age is, you are aging. The
proverbial light is getting closer. Now those of us that
are a little older, that light's getting a little brighter.
(11:53):
But the light is coming. And who knows what the
great mystery is. We have our belief, we have our faith,
but the fact is this one wonderful experience we're having.
And what I have found is how do we inspire others?
How do we help others to make the most of
realizing their goals and dreams and learn what you came
(12:17):
here to do? And that has been my experience through
all this is I know what I came here to do,
and I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah, and you are leading the Academy for Coaching Excellence,
and you are a coach yourself. You're mentoring us today.
I'm wondering what we can tell our young listening audience
about speeding up their epiphanies and getting in touch with
(12:51):
their real purpose sooner in live, so they don't cook
themselves up in their primary time of life in a corporation.
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I think that one thing is these experiences we have
in life and what we're searching for. There's something behind
them that we know we want to do, and those
things are going to change throughout your life. But find
out what it is that you want to do now,
get clear on it, and move towards it. Experiment, have fun.
(13:25):
For sure, you only live once. Like I love to
tell people to travel, my body doesn't want to cooperate
the way it did when I was in my twenties
and thirties. So go travel, Go do the experiences that
you're going to be able to do. And I'm pretty
fit and still I recognize that those things are limitations.
But I think what happens when we're young is we're
trying to find our way. Like I said, I get
(13:47):
to work with a lot of gen z and I
find that once we engage with them and we listen,
they're really looking for us to share with them, just
like when we were kids. At off comes as you know,
a pushback. But if you just stay present and listen,
you've got something. If you lose the judgment, if you
(14:08):
lose where you're thinking, these kids are kids, and and
remember you were once a kid and you likely did
something you might remember that you don't feel so good about.
Is how do I help influence? How do I help
open How do I help do that? And I encourage
everyone to get a coach? You know, I have people
(14:29):
ask me all the time does a coach have a coach?
I'm like does a dentistville their own cavities?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
You know?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Of course a coach should have a coach in fact,
run if they don't. And we love training coaches around
the world. Rick, here's the best story of all. I
took coaching in the late nineties. I took it when
I had six months to live. Oh my, what do
I have to lose? And here I am And here's
the better story. The person that I work with Maria Nimath,
(14:57):
who's the founder of the Coaching Academy that I'm the
CEO of. That's the curriculum I took. We're now almost
thirty years later. It's been the Academy for Coaching Excellence
now for twenty two years, and I'm now the CEO.
Here's my story. I remember when I took that coaching,
I had a dream that I wanted to work with
(15:19):
this person in coaching somehow one day. Look where it's at.
I'm the CEO today. When we can realize that these
things that we want in life, we can have. Put
them out there God, the universe, love, whatever you want
to call it, I don't care. Get out of the
(15:41):
way of how it looks, get out of the way
of timing, and I guarantee you'll see it. You'll realize it.
What we do with and a lot of young people
I know I did, is we want it now.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
The things that you're doing today is what creates the
space for that. I got in this one time in
La coming back and I got it that you can imagine.
I get in conversations with people and this guy says
to me and I gave up on this manifestation stuff.
I said, well, tell me about that. He said, well,
I wanted a new car and I didn't get it. Well,
I'm sitting in a brand new car. So I said
(16:15):
to him, is this your car? He goes yes. I said,
where's the old car? Well, I rented out to other
Uber drivers? I said, so, I thought you didn't get
the car. Well, this isn't the car I wanted. I said, Okay,
let me get this straight. We're sitting in a brand
new car. That's what you wanted. You're making money off
the old car, and you're going to give up on
it all because you don't have the car you wanted.
(16:41):
What do you think about this? What if this is
the stepstone to that car you wanted, and this too
will be making you money one day by renting it out.
What if this is just part of the journey to
that car. But you can imagine where that conversation went.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
You have the ability Tom to pull back and rise
above so people can see the bigger picture, and that
unto itself, is a gift from God. And you do
this in these interesting frameworks like risk ability factor, and
(17:23):
it makes me think about the dysfunctional boardrooms that I've
been in and where were you twenty thirty years ago
where you could instill today you can put your imprint
on how boards should be run, because most of them
aren't run very well.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Isn't that the truth?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I have this thing I do I have to tell you.
I called the haystack method. I happen to believe that
people have their own answers. I don't know what your
answer is, and it's like finding a needle in a haystack.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Well, my job is to hold the space to clear
your hay away so you can find your needle, your answer.
And risk ability is a tool you can use to
measure your level of risk. Resoluder is all about how
we become resilient leaders. That's what people are really looking
(18:18):
for in leadership today is how can I be resilience?
Resilience is about not just getting up when you fall down,
it's how did you grow from it?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
How do you apply that?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
When people tell me their life is moving along like
this and everything is great, here's what I think sounds
like a flatline to me. Life is a series of
ups and downs. If we're willing to be open to it,
those downs are opportunities, opportunities to learn and to grow
that we can express at the uptimes, and if we're smart,
(18:54):
we're going to know there'll be another downturn, another opportunity
to learn and grow. Back to your question, I Kep
sat in many boardrooms. I've watched many big egos. What
I tried to do was model a different behavior back then. Today,
(19:14):
I'm happy to step in the arena. I don't have
a problem pulling them aside outside and say let's have
a chat about this. It feels like you're not getting
what you're trying to achieve.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
One of my favorite stories about this. I was coaching
a CEO and he called me on the phone and goes,
I need to talk to you. I've got this huge problem.
And I said, okay, fine, and we met and as
he presented this problem about how he had created this
whole open door environment and was inviting people into his
office and nobody was coming, and he just was failing
as a CEO because he couldn't connect with the people,
(19:47):
and he kept talking about people coming to his office.
So I let him get it all out and I said,
you know, John, this is pretty simple. I'm not sure
you need me, but I'm going to give you the
answer real quick and then we can move on. Of
course he was waiting for it. I said, did you
ever think, John, that maybe you need to get up
out of your chair and go outside your office. You're
(20:10):
waiting for everybody to come in the door. They're waiting
for you to come see them. You're the CEO, you
have a title, and you've got an ego attached to
it that you've forgotten that you are just like everybody else.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So simple, it's the inside out outside in. Oh my gosh. Okay, Tom,
we're going to cut to commercial. I'll throw it to
you first. Tell our listeners where they can buy the
book My Life in Business Suits, hospital Gowns and high heels,
(20:47):
and possibly get a signed autograph copy delighted.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Hello, everyone, this is the book. If you've never written
a book, let me tell you what an experience is.
And if you have, you know that holding this in
your hand what it means when you get it back.
You can find it on Amazon. It's pre order right now.
It launches on November fourth, next Tuesday. What a feeling
that is My Life in Business Suits, hospital gowns and
(21:18):
high heels you've heard today about the business suits and
the hospital gowns. You're going to have to read the
book to find out about the high heels. And if
you want to sign copy Resilience at tom Lenobyl dot com,
you let me know and we'll figure out a way
to sign your copy of this book. I hope you'll
get it today. It's something I really did for the reader.
(21:39):
It's a memoir that it crosses over into self help.
It's going to give you some tools after every chapter
that you can use. I hope it inspires hope for you.
I hope it helps you see that risk, resilience, and
reinvention can be yours.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Thank you absolutely, and I will add my plug. It's
a evergreen book that's for eighth graders, high school seniors,
college students. It's a graduation book. It's a book for birthdays,
(22:16):
it's a book for Thanksgiving because it's got gratitude in it.
So go out and buy it today and then give
it away and let other people read it, and then
tell your local libraries to make sure and carry it.
And we will be right back. After this quick.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Message, this is Marcus Aurelius reappearing to proclaim that Truly
Significant Conversations.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
With Big Hearted People is a rare piece of literature.
This book reminds me of one of my more stirring quotes,
waste no more time arguing what a good man should
be be one. If you're stepping into your next life
chapter of your career and questioning what lies beyond success,
(23:06):
this book is for you. Dive into forty soul stirring
stories from luminaries like doctor Jane Goodall, ed Asner, and
Emily Chang.
Speaker 6 (23:18):
Stories that urge you to pursue purpose, serve others, and
build a legacy that outlasts you.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Authored by Rick Tolkini, Truly Significant will challenge your view
of success and ignite a life of impact. Order now
at TinyURL dot com, backslash truly Significant and begin living intentionally.
Maybe your epitaph will read she gave outrageously extended grace
(23:52):
unceasingly and lived to help others.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
So that death found her m D. Visit truly significant
dot com and celebrate the most truly significant people in
your life with the truly Significant community. How bold of
you to make your next chapter matter and be truly significant.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
And we're back with Tom Lennoble. We're talking about his
book My Life in Business Suits, hospital gowns and high heels.
This is the back half of the show. We generally
wrap up by talking about other, maybe more fun stuff
mixed with a perhaps a little bit deeper philosophical questions,
(24:38):
as if we haven't crossed the into that already. If
there is a music, a sound, a song that's associated
with his book, and someone were to open it up,
and they go and the song starts to play, what's
the song.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Sweet dreams by the Rhythmics? Sweet dreams are made of this?
It really at dude, disagree exactly. In fact, I have
a friend. He is the had the leading beach blanket
Babylon in San Francisco for many years. Meet the Malone,
and she's recorded some special words for me. And whenever
I appear after this book launches, that's what we'll be playing.
(25:16):
Because you too can have your sweet dreams come true.
I promise it. Get out of the way, let go
of the time. Trust, just trust, do the work and trust.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Absolutely. Please comment on what it's like to make a
decision to leap from one industry to the other. And
I understand you were you were a part of speed
Date or match as a part of that. So tell
us about that transition to that particular industry and what
(25:51):
drew you to it.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
You know, speed Date was a great experience. It ended
up being purchased by a match. In fact, I managed
a merger and it was great. I remember going there
thinking I will, I will never do a dating site
because when you're behind the scenes and you can see
what's goes on, it's like, oh my god, this is
like crazy. But you also hear these great stories about
boot blue, find true love and fall in love. But
(26:16):
what an experience it was. You know, there's been this
thing that's happened in my career. I've run hr I've
run customer service operations whatever we call it. I've had
more than one CEO that comes to me and goes, Tom,
what are you doing running these two despaired organizations. My
answer is they aren't dispared at all. Both are about
(26:38):
a customer. One is about your internal customer, your employees,
and the other is about your external customer, the ones
that are buying your services. Take care of both and
you will achieve success. So what I've learned in these
different jobs, I'm often asked I've worked at startups at
their earliest stage. I've worked for the largest company in
(27:00):
the world at the time, Walmart. And people will say
which was your favorite, Which did you get the most
out of My answer is yes both. There's nothing like
this scrappy startup where you have to roll up your
sleeves where your to do list. If you didn't get
it done today, forget it because you've got a new
one tomorrow. Or Walmart, where I witness things like you know.
(27:21):
I remember waiting for the president of financial services for
a meeting at a break room and a woman walked
in and I said, Hi, what's your name, Michelle?
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Michelle? What do you do?
Speaker 2 (27:29):
She says, I monitor the refrigerators. Well, I look around
the breakroom, there's two refrigerators. I'm thinking, what's going on here?
She knows what I'm thinking. She looks at me, and
she goes, Tom, Here's what I do from my desk.
I monitor every refrigerator in freezer in every Walmart and
Sam's store in the country. I know when there's a
(27:52):
problem before they do.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Right, So these things that we get to learn, So
all of these experiences that I've been able to do
all have something in common for me, and that's there
about people. They're about your customer, whether it's internal external,
and it's really about holding the space for people to
(28:17):
realize their goals and dreams. People never understood when I
shared with somebody it's time for you to do something
new and we don't have it here for you. Let
me help you find your path somewhere else, because it's
time for you to grow, it's time for you to expand,
(28:38):
and it's not going to happen here because we just
don't have the structure for it. These kinds of things
are when you're truly, in my opinion, being a leader.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
A significant leader. Tom. Over the course of four thousand podcasts,
we've had probably too many doctors, too many lawyers on
this show, and what we've come to understand is they've
been in the practice of practicing medicine or law for
(29:12):
all of their lives, and they have a different lens.
What will our readers discover about you in my life
in business suits, hospital gowns, and high heels, about your
life's practice.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I think you can imagine I've experienced some of those
lawyers and some of those doctors. My oncologists calls me
a clinical trial of one, because you see, one of
the things I've learned is when we're our own advocate
and we retain control of what's happening to us, we
know better than anybody if we're willing to do the
work to find out the information, so we make good decisions. Yes,
(29:53):
I guide my care. But back to your question, I
think that the thing that I've learned is again, this
is about invoking the power of being present with others,
about getting outside yourself, about doing something that some people
don't do well, especially on those two fields, which is
(30:14):
the art of listening. When we're listening to someone, be present.
We don't trust ourselves for the answer we're going to give,
so we're processing in our brain how we're going to respond.
Pay attention, listen, trust yourself to respond, and know this
the person you're interacting with knows when you're not listening.
(30:35):
Be present, be available for people. The other thing that
I've found in many of these fields where people do
the work over and over again when I approach them,
is I respect that they've got that knowledge, and I
let them know quickly that while I know they have
that knowledge, I have something too, and I take us
(30:57):
to rise up. What my biggest lesson, one of them
is in life was when we're polarized, which often happens
in life, we stick to our belief, our stance, and
this tension just gets tighter and tighter. Well, here's the
only answer. When you're polarized. This is where you have
to go here, something higher up. From here to here,
(31:23):
everybody has to be willing to share, to give a
little bit, to compromise a little bit. You can do
this in all your interactions. Be interested when someone has
something they believe in that's different than yourself. If you
want to have an influence on what they think, honor
what they believe. You don't have to believe it, but
be willing to listen to it versus just fight it.
(31:46):
You'll find often that they're willing to open a door
and listen to a little bit about what you believe.
You may walk away with the same stance, but you
don't walk away in conflict. You killed this polarization and
found a new level of munication.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Okay, my newfound friend, you just gave five titles for
your next book. New level. Honor what they believe, Go
higher up, get outside of yourself, invoke power, those are
all Those are smashing titles. What were the other considerations
(32:25):
for titles of this wonderful book you're debuting?
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, there was never anything but this one. I came
up with it. And I remember I was in a
Mastermind group with Jack Canfield and some other brilliant people,
and we were talking about books. There were seventeen authors,
and I remember thinking there were doctors and lawyers and therapists,
and I was thinking, what am I doing here?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Right?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
And I was turned out. I was the morning of
the next day to present, and I was having you know,
what's going on here? So I went to nature, which
is the thing I recommend everybody to do, cleared my
head and I had this amazing session. And when Jack
gave me some of his feedback, the first thing he
said was, don't ever change this title. Don't ever let
anybody convince you to change this title. So I didn't.
(33:11):
And I've been encouraged by my team not to talk
about future books. But I will tell you this, there's
two more to come.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
There better be more than two. Think bigger than that.
I like that.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Rick. You gave me some things. A question for you
is and you probably said it several times to our
listening audience. But what is that one message that you
hope every reader will carry away from your story about risk,
resilience and the courage to reinvent.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Here it is for you. Many of us live in
the past. There are no do overs. We try and
wrestle with what's happened to us. We try and think
we're going to make a change from it. If you
can learn from it, do it, But be right here
(34:09):
in the present. There are no do overs. You have
to step in the future a bit because you have
to have gas in the car, food and the refrigerator,
and make sure the lights are on. But getting too
far in the future. Remember we all woke up today.
Some people didn't be right here. Right here is where
(34:29):
the magic is.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Mm hmm. Thank you Tom LeNoble. You are an incredible
guest and the welcome Matt is now out for you
to be back on any day anytime you'd like.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Let's do a series.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
That would be great, that would be a dream come true.
Thank you, Tom. We appreciate you, folks. We appreciate you
joining us today. We always talk about your pursuit of success.
But we hope that this show will help propel you
to the zone of significance. And I'll quote a couple
(35:10):
of things that you just said. If it all starts
with improving your listening, think about the other person who's
speaking in honor what they believe, and then get on
their same level so you can truly open up your
ears and hear what they're really saying. That might be
(35:33):
listening with significance. Have a great week.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Sweet jeems a medea, these who a m to design
I travel the world and the seven seeds. Everybody is
look good for something. Some of them want to use you,
some of them want to get used by you. Some
(36:09):
of them want to amuse you. Some of them want
to be abused.
Speaker 7 (36:28):
Sweet dreams are.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Leader things who are my to decide to travel the
world and the seven seas.
Speaker 7 (36:39):
Everybody is looking for something.
Speaker 8 (36:55):
I'm ahead of moving on, don't get, don't.
Speaker 7 (37:04):
Get.
Speaker 8 (37:25):
Some of them want to use you, some of them
want to get used by some of them want to
use you, some of.
Speaker 7 (37:37):
Them want to be used. Sweet jeans are made.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Of these could have my to desided travel the world
and seven seeds on. Everybody is looking for something Sweet
jeeves on bed of these who have might to decide
(38:15):
to travel the world and seven seeds. Everybody is looking
for something sweet.
Speaker 7 (38:24):
Dreams on Betas you have my.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
To decide to travel the world and seven sees everybody
is still give for something sweet. Games on the Things,
who have we decide to travel the world and seven seeds,
(38:50):
everybody's looking for something sweet. Dreams on Datas Love Mind
deciding the travels world and seven Scenes.
Speaker 8 (39:05):
Everybody has looking solidly
Speaker 7 (39:10):
Dreams
Hey, welcome back to Truly Significant dot com Presents. I'm
Rick Tokeeney. I'm so excited to have on our guest today,
Tom LeNoble. He is debuting his book My Life in Business, Suits,
hospital gowns, and high Heels. It's been described with several
alliterations boardrooms, breakdowns, breakthroughs, wild, witty, and wonderful, and I
(00:34):
love all that, Tom, But I want to read a
little bit about what you've accomplished and then we'll just
dive right into the questions. You are a seasoned executive
leadership coach. I know you're a speaker. You've held wonderful
positions at companies like MCI, Walmart, Palm, Facebook. We've had
probably a lot of your peers on this show, especially
(00:58):
from Palm, and now what you're doing we considered to
be moving from success to significance. And while you're debuting
this book, our real reason for wanting to talk to
you today is to tap into the science of significance
in your epiphanies in life. So welcome, Tom LeNoble. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
It's so great to be with you. I've been looking
forward to this time.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Well, listen, the accomplishment of writing a book is often understated,
and so we're so glad that you're able to do that.
And so why is it taking you so long to
write this book?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, I wrote it sixteen years ago and it was
so cathartic. I put it in the closet and said,
I'm finished with this. And then a few years ago
I have this year in practice I've been doing for
over thirty five years, and I end the year with
some things, and I set intentions for the new year,
and this book came into my mind, and I decided
(02:02):
I'm either going to trash it or I'm going to
run with it. And I made the decision to run
with it. And I want you to know every possible
door that could open has opened. So I knew that
I was onto something that I needed to do it.
I needed to get this out in the world.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Good man, the timing is right. And you've worn many
outfits in life, as the title suggest, the business suit,
the hospital gown, and yes, even the metaphorical high heels
of walking and other shoes. How have all these garments
symbolized your evolution as a human being?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Well, you know, I had a wonderful career. You named
the companies. And I remember sitting at my desk at
Palm one day after I was coming back from international travel,
which I did a lot, and I got a phone
call and it was a recruiter from a little company
called Facebook, and it was in colleges. I didn't even
know what it was. I thank them graciously and hung up,
(03:02):
and a buddy called and said, I referred you to Facebook.
You didn't even talk to them. Well, long story short,
and it is a good story. I interviewed with Mark
Zuckerberg when he was nineteen, What an experience that was,
and went and set up their customer operations. But I
had these corporate experiences, and I like to say I
retired being retired to be inspired. I fell in love,
(03:26):
got married, traveled the world, and I knew I had
more wisdom to share. And so this book came back
into my life as part of the things that I do,
because what I see is that who we are today
is the summation of who we've been throughout our life,
and some of those chapters in our life we either
(03:49):
feel shame for they're outrageous, we keep them private, or
we just simply think somebody wouldn't understand and what I'm
here to share with the reader is with all those parts,
you wouldn't be who you are today and then sharing
them I hope I bring by exposing some of my
deepest secrets, I expose to others how these parts in
(04:12):
our lives are who we are today and in fact,
who will continue to be because you don't get a
do over.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
That's exactly right. You're so in the moment, and you've
lived through moments that most of us will read about
but never experience, especially the Silicon Valley. And you read
and you will read about folks near death experiences and
Tom's reinvention. So through all of that, is there a
(04:48):
thread that brings it all together?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
There is you know, when you're given six months to
live three times to life threatening illness, as one I
was told was termolin. I today have lived with metastatic
cancer for thirteen years and I'm still here. And all
of the things you shared with your viewers. What's going
to surprise many people that I worked with as I
(05:16):
was sick during all of what you shared. And I
think that people ask me sometimes, Tom, what is it
that you think? Why is it you think you're still here? Well,
I've had the best medical care. I've had access to
some of the best treatment. I couldn't have been more
(05:36):
fortunate in those areas. But there's one thing I know
for sure that's true. I believed I could be.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
This makes the difference. It's your mental position. I bet
you we could do a podcast series with you for
the next year. So I've got to get in some
zinger questions.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
We know you're one of the first one hundred at Facebook,
and there's this nineteen year old leader who may or
may not have a big ego or a big dream,
but he came in with some sense of what control meant.
How is your definition of control change since you've faced
your own mortality.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
You know, it's such an interesting story that I hope
your viewers will read about arriving there at Facebook. I
remember the first day sitting at a desk in this
huge room, and I thought to myself, I just gave
up a really cushy audience, I mean office, and here
I am, and I was literally old enough to be
everyone's father. Really, I was with a bunch of twenty
(06:46):
year olds that had just graduated from college Brown Harvard, Yale,
brilliant defering law school and business school, and here I
was physician looking in a room of people, wondering.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
What have I done well?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
What I learned about control from that experience was something
that I use every day. I work with a lot
of zoomers today, gen Z, and I've had the good
fortune of working with many generations which we all when
we're in that age, get identified as lazy or whatever
they want to say we're not doing when we're just
trying to find our way. What I learned about control
(07:22):
is that in giving up control, in enlisting others and
allowing them to control, not only do you get better
results because you've included people, but you just might learn something.
So I've applied that in all of these stages of
my life, even in the hospital settings, with the hospital gowns,
(07:45):
you know, that flimsy piece of fabric that never ties
in the back. Is that in giving up control, you
might learn something. You're going to gather information to help
you make better decisions. And so for me me, control
is about being willing to allow yourself to not be
(08:06):
in control, Like the book says, in control, being controlled,
and out of control. Each of these are states we
experience in our life and I think they each have
a lesson for us so powerful.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Through your medical journey, what have you learned about grace
and gratitude?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I think that gratitude is such a huge part of
my life today, and fortunately for me it has been
for many years. It's only been strengthened over the years.
But for me, gratitude and this setting is I could
go I've been radiated so much that I glow in
the dark.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I could be your night white at night.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And you know, you go into this experience and you
could go in with fear about what's going to happen
to you. Well, the way I manage that I get
a bad diagnosis, I look at my watch, Tom, you
got thirty minutes. Moan, cry, stomp your feet, whatever you
want to do, and let's get on with it. And
so when I approach that I could go there with
(09:13):
fear of how the outcome is going to be or
what's happening. Instead, I enchoose to express gratitude that I
have access to the treatment, that there's hope for me,
and that I can be present and look around that
waiting room and engage with others who may be feeling
fear that I once experienced. I don't interrupt them. I'm
(09:36):
not intrusive, but I start up a conversation, and often
what I find is somebody is so frightened about what's
getting ready to happen to them, and I just dismantle
that for them. The doctor doesn't tell you what the
experience is going to be. Like you're going to go
in a room there's a weird machine that's going to
whirl all around your body. But what you need to
(09:58):
know is it's not going to It's going to be
over and very quick. And look at me, I'm still here.
There's hope for you. So for me, I put my
gratitude into action every chance I get.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
It's almost as if your book should be required reading
for eighth graders, seniors in high school, in seniors in
college as a required narrative for how to live a
(10:36):
grateful and grace filled life and to be to have
some higher mindfulness. Please comment on that.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
You know, I think that is why I do what
I do today. You know, I really do everything I
do because I'm a philanthropist, and I was an anonymous
philanthropist forever, and I've exposed it a bit here in
the past year as this book is getting ready to
come out, and I work with underserved communities, youth and
the arts, first gen students, relevant at women's issues today,
(11:11):
some other things that I'm really passionate about. And I
think that we have these experiences in life that can
mold us and shape us, and we have the opportunity
to give back to others and share our wisdom with others.
And so what I am trying to do in this
(11:31):
life that quite frankly I could sit back in the
lawn chair, is do just that I have this period
of time. You know, we all don't realize that right now,
no matter what your age is, you are aging. The
proverbial light is getting closer. Now those of us that
are a little older, that light's getting a little brighter.
(11:53):
But the light is coming. And who knows what the
great mystery is. We have our belief, we have our faith,
but the fact is this one wonderful experience we're having.
And what I have found is how do we inspire others?
How do we help others to make the most of
realizing their goals and dreams and learn what you came
(12:17):
here to do? And that has been my experience through
all this is I know what I came here to do,
and I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah, and you are leading the Academy for Coaching Excellence,
and you are a coach yourself. You're mentoring us today.
I'm wondering what we can tell our young listening audience
about speeding up their epiphanies and getting in touch with
(12:51):
their real purpose sooner in live, so they don't cook
themselves up in their primary time of life in a corporation.
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I think that one thing is these experiences we have
in life and what we're searching for. There's something behind
them that we know we want to do, and those
things are going to change throughout your life. But find
out what it is that you want to do now,
get clear on it, and move towards it. Experiment, have fun.
(13:25):
For sure, you only live once. Like I love to
tell people to travel, my body doesn't want to cooperate
the way it did when I was in my twenties
and thirties. So go travel, Go do the experiences that
you're going to be able to do. And I'm pretty
fit and still I recognize that those things are limitations.
But I think what happens when we're young is we're
trying to find our way. Like I said, I get
(13:47):
to work with a lot of gen z and I
find that once we engage with them and we listen,
they're really looking for us to share with them, just
like when we were kids. At off comes as you know,
a pushback. But if you just stay present and listen,
you've got something. If you lose the judgment, if you
(14:08):
lose where you're thinking, these kids are kids, and and
remember you were once a kid and you likely did
something you might remember that you don't feel so good about.
Is how do I help influence? How do I help
open How do I help do that? And I encourage
everyone to get a coach? You know, I have people
(14:29):
ask me all the time does a coach have a coach?
I'm like does a dentistville their own cavities?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
You know?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Of course a coach should have a coach in fact,
run if they don't. And we love training coaches around
the world. Rick, here's the best story of all. I
took coaching in the late nineties. I took it when
I had six months to live. Oh my, what do
I have to lose? And here I am And here's
the better story. The person that I work with Maria Nimath,
(14:57):
who's the founder of the Coaching Academy that I'm the
CEO of. That's the curriculum I took. We're now almost
thirty years later. It's been the Academy for Coaching Excellence
now for twenty two years, and I'm now the CEO.
Here's my story. I remember when I took that coaching,
I had a dream that I wanted to work with
(15:19):
this person in coaching somehow one day. Look where it's at.
I'm the CEO today. When we can realize that these
things that we want in life, we can have. Put
them out there God, the universe, love, whatever you want
to call it, I don't care. Get out of the
(15:41):
way of how it looks, get out of the way
of timing, and I guarantee you'll see it. You'll realize it.
What we do with and a lot of young people
I know I did, is we want it now.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
The things that you're doing today is what creates the
space for that. I got in this one time in
La coming back and I got it that you can imagine.
I get in conversations with people and this guy says
to me and I gave up on this manifestation stuff.
I said, well, tell me about that. He said, well,
I wanted a new car and I didn't get it. Well,
I'm sitting in a brand new car. So I said
(16:15):
to him, is this your car? He goes yes. I said,
where's the old car? Well, I rented out to other
Uber drivers? I said, so, I thought you didn't get
the car. Well, this isn't the car I wanted. I said, Okay,
let me get this straight. We're sitting in a brand
new car. That's what you wanted. You're making money off
the old car, and you're going to give up on
it all because you don't have the car you wanted.
(16:41):
What do you think about this? What if this is
the stepstone to that car you wanted, and this too
will be making you money one day by renting it out.
What if this is just part of the journey to
that car. But you can imagine where that conversation went.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
You have the ability Tom to pull back and rise
above so people can see the bigger picture, and that
unto itself, is a gift from God. And you do
this in these interesting frameworks like risk ability factor, and
(17:23):
it makes me think about the dysfunctional boardrooms that I've
been in and where were you twenty thirty years ago
where you could instill today you can put your imprint
on how boards should be run, because most of them
aren't run very well.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Isn't that the truth?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
You know?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I have this thing I do I have to tell you.
I called the haystack method. I happen to believe that
people have their own answers. I don't know what your
answer is, and it's like finding a needle in a haystack.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Well, my job is to hold the space to clear
your hay away so you can find your needle, your answer.
And risk ability is a tool you can use to
measure your level of risk. Resoluder is all about how
we become resilient leaders. That's what people are really looking
(18:18):
for in leadership today is how can I be resilience?
Resilience is about not just getting up when you fall down,
it's how did you grow from it?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
How do you apply that?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
When people tell me their life is moving along like
this and everything is great, here's what I think sounds
like a flatline to me. Life is a series of
ups and downs. If we're willing to be open to it,
those downs are opportunities, opportunities to learn and to grow
that we can express at the uptimes, and if we're smart,
(18:54):
we're going to know there'll be another downturn, another opportunity
to learn and grow. Back to your question, I Kep
sat in many boardrooms. I've watched many big egos. What
I tried to do was model a different behavior back then. Today,
(19:14):
I'm happy to step in the arena. I don't have
a problem pulling them aside outside and say let's have
a chat about this. It feels like you're not getting
what you're trying to achieve.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
One of my favorite stories about this. I was coaching
a CEO and he called me on the phone and goes,
I need to talk to you. I've got this huge problem.
And I said, okay, fine, and we met and as
he presented this problem about how he had created this
whole open door environment and was inviting people into his
office and nobody was coming, and he just was failing
as a CEO because he couldn't connect with the people,
(19:47):
and he kept talking about people coming to his office.
So I let him get it all out and I said,
you know, John, this is pretty simple. I'm not sure
you need me, but I'm going to give you the
answer real quick and then we can move on. Of
course he was waiting for it. I said, did you
ever think, John, that maybe you need to get up
out of your chair and go outside your office. You're
(20:10):
waiting for everybody to come in the door. They're waiting
for you to come see them. You're the CEO, you
have a title, and you've got an ego attached to
it that you've forgotten that you are just like everybody else.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So simple, it's the inside out outside in. Oh my gosh. Okay, Tom,
we're going to cut to commercial. I'll throw it to
you first. Tell our listeners where they can buy the
book My Life in Business Suits, hospital Gowns and high heels,
(20:47):
and possibly get a signed autograph copy delighted.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Hello, everyone, this is the book. If you've never written
a book, let me tell you what an experience is.
And if you have, you know that holding this in
your hand what it means when you get it back.
You can find it on Amazon. It's pre order right now.
It launches on November fourth, next Tuesday. What a feeling
that is My Life in Business Suits, hospital gowns and
(21:18):
high heels you've heard today about the business suits and
the hospital gowns. You're going to have to read the
book to find out about the high heels. And if
you want to sign copy Resilience at tom Lenobyl dot com,
you let me know and we'll figure out a way
to sign your copy of this book. I hope you'll
get it today. It's something I really did for the reader.
(21:39):
It's a memoir that it crosses over into self help.
It's going to give you some tools after every chapter
that you can use. I hope it inspires hope for you.
I hope it helps you see that risk, resilience, and
reinvention can be yours.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Thank you absolutely, and I will add my plug. It's
a evergreen book that's for eighth graders, high school seniors,
college students. It's a graduation book. It's a book for birthdays,
(22:16):
it's a book for Thanksgiving because it's got gratitude in it.
So go out and buy it today and then give
it away and let other people read it, and then
tell your local libraries to make sure and carry it.
And we will be right back. After this quick.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Message, this is Marcus Aurelius reappearing to proclaim that Truly
Significant Conversations.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
With Big Hearted People is a rare piece of literature.
This book reminds me of one of my more stirring quotes,
waste no more time arguing what a good man should
be be one. If you're stepping into your next life
chapter of your career and questioning what lies beyond success,
(23:06):
this book is for you. Dive into forty soul stirring
stories from luminaries like doctor Jane Goodall, ed Asner, and
Emily Chang.
Speaker 6 (23:18):
Stories that urge you to pursue purpose, serve others, and
build a legacy that outlasts you.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Authored by Rick Tolkini, Truly Significant will challenge your view
of success and ignite a life of impact. Order now
at TinyURL dot com, backslash truly Significant and begin living intentionally.
Maybe your epitaph will read she gave outrageously extended grace
(23:52):
unceasingly and lived to help others.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
So that death found her m D. Visit truly significant
dot com and celebrate the most truly significant people in
your life with the truly Significant community. How bold of
you to make your next chapter matter and be truly significant.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
And we're back with Tom Lennoble. We're talking about his
book My Life in Business Suits, hospital gowns and high heels.
This is the back half of the show. We generally
wrap up by talking about other, maybe more fun stuff
mixed with a perhaps a little bit deeper philosophical questions,
(24:38):
as if we haven't crossed the into that already. If
there is a music, a sound, a song that's associated
with his book, and someone were to open it up,
and they go and the song starts to play, what's
the song.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Sweet dreams by the Rhythmics? Sweet dreams are made of this?
It really at dude, disagree exactly. In fact, I have
a friend. He is the had the leading beach blanket
Babylon in San Francisco for many years. Meet the Malone,
and she's recorded some special words for me. And whenever
I appear after this book launches, that's what we'll be playing.
(25:16):
Because you too can have your sweet dreams come true.
I promise it. Get out of the way, let go
of the time. Trust, just trust, do the work and trust.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Absolutely. Please comment on what it's like to make a
decision to leap from one industry to the other. And
I understand you were you were a part of speed
Date or match as a part of that. So tell
us about that transition to that particular industry and what
(25:51):
drew you to it.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
You know, speed Date was a great experience. It ended
up being purchased by a match. In fact, I managed
a merger and it was great. I remember going there
thinking I will, I will never do a dating site
because when you're behind the scenes and you can see
what's goes on, it's like, oh my god, this is
like crazy. But you also hear these great stories about
boot blue, find true love and fall in love. But
(26:16):
what an experience it was. You know, there's been this
thing that's happened in my career. I've run hr I've
run customer service operations whatever we call it. I've had
more than one CEO that comes to me and goes, Tom,
what are you doing running these two despaired organizations. My
answer is they aren't dispared at all. Both are about
(26:38):
a customer. One is about your internal customer, your employees,
and the other is about your external customer, the ones
that are buying your services. Take care of both and
you will achieve success. So what I've learned in these
different jobs, I'm often asked I've worked at startups at
their earliest stage. I've worked for the largest company in
(27:00):
the world at the time, Walmart. And people will say
which was your favorite, Which did you get the most
out of My answer is yes both. There's nothing like
this scrappy startup where you have to roll up your
sleeves where your to do list. If you didn't get
it done today, forget it because you've got a new
one tomorrow. Or Walmart, where I witness things like you know.
(27:21):
I remember waiting for the president of financial services for
a meeting at a break room and a woman walked
in and I said, Hi, what's your name, Michelle?
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Michelle? What do you do?
Speaker 2 (27:29):
She says, I monitor the refrigerators. Well, I look around
the breakroom, there's two refrigerators. I'm thinking, what's going on here?
She knows what I'm thinking. She looks at me, and
she goes, Tom, Here's what I do from my desk.
I monitor every refrigerator in freezer in every Walmart and
Sam's store in the country. I know when there's a
(27:52):
problem before they do.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Right, So these things that we get to learn, So
all of these experiences that I've been able to do
all have something in common for me, and that's there
about people. They're about your customer, whether it's internal external,
and it's really about holding the space for people to
(28:17):
realize their goals and dreams. People never understood when I
shared with somebody it's time for you to do something
new and we don't have it here for you. Let
me help you find your path somewhere else, because it's
time for you to grow, it's time for you to expand,
(28:38):
and it's not going to happen here because we just
don't have the structure for it. These kinds of things
are when you're truly, in my opinion, being a leader.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
A significant leader. Tom. Over the course of four thousand podcasts,
we've had probably too many doctors, too many lawyers on
this show, and what we've come to understand is they've
been in the practice of practicing medicine or law for
(29:12):
all of their lives, and they have a different lens.
What will our readers discover about you in my life
in business suits, hospital gowns, and high heels, about your
life's practice.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I think you can imagine I've experienced some of those
lawyers and some of those doctors. My oncologists calls me
a clinical trial of one, because you see, one of
the things I've learned is when we're our own advocate
and we retain control of what's happening to us, we
know better than anybody if we're willing to do the
work to find out the information, so we make good decisions. Yes,
(29:53):
I guide my care. But back to your question, I
think that the thing that I've learned is again, this
is about invoking the power of being present with others,
about getting outside yourself, about doing something that some people
don't do well, especially on those two fields, which is
(30:14):
the art of listening. When we're listening to someone, be present.
We don't trust ourselves for the answer we're going to give,
so we're processing in our brain how we're going to respond.
Pay attention, listen, trust yourself to respond, and know this
the person you're interacting with knows when you're not listening.
(30:35):
Be present, be available for people. The other thing that
I've found in many of these fields where people do
the work over and over again when I approach them,
is I respect that they've got that knowledge, and I
let them know quickly that while I know they have
that knowledge, I have something too, and I take us
(30:57):
to rise up. What my biggest lesson, one of them
is in life was when we're polarized, which often happens
in life, we stick to our belief, our stance, and
this tension just gets tighter and tighter. Well, here's the
only answer. When you're polarized. This is where you have
to go here, something higher up. From here to here,
(31:23):
everybody has to be willing to share, to give a
little bit, to compromise a little bit. You can do
this in all your interactions. Be interested when someone has
something they believe in that's different than yourself. If you
want to have an influence on what they think, honor
what they believe. You don't have to believe it, but
be willing to listen to it versus just fight it.
(31:46):
You'll find often that they're willing to open a door
and listen to a little bit about what you believe.
You may walk away with the same stance, but you
don't walk away in conflict. You killed this polarization and
found a new level of munication.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Okay, my newfound friend, you just gave five titles for
your next book. New level. Honor what they believe, Go
higher up, get outside of yourself, invoke power, those are
all Those are smashing titles. What were the other considerations
(32:25):
for titles of this wonderful book you're debuting?
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Well, there was never anything but this one. I came
up with it. And I remember I was in a
Mastermind group with Jack Canfield and some other brilliant people,
and we were talking about books. There were seventeen authors,
and I remember thinking there were doctors and lawyers and therapists,
and I was thinking, what am I doing here?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Right?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
And I was turned out. I was the morning of
the next day to present, and I was having you know,
what's going on here? So I went to nature, which
is the thing I recommend everybody to do, cleared my
head and I had this amazing session. And when Jack
gave me some of his feedback, the first thing he
said was, don't ever change this title. Don't ever let
anybody convince you to change this title. So I didn't.
(33:11):
And I've been encouraged by my team not to talk
about future books. But I will tell you this, there's
two more to come.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
There better be more than two. Think bigger than that.
I like that.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Thank you for that.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Rick. You gave me some things. A question for you
is and you probably said it several times to our
listening audience. But what is that one message that you
hope every reader will carry away from your story about risk,
resilience and the courage to reinvent.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Here it is for you. Many of us live in
the past. There are no do overs. We try and
wrestle with what's happened to us. We try and think
we're going to make a change from it. If you
can learn from it, do it, But be right here
(34:09):
in the present. There are no do overs. You have
to step in the future a bit because you have
to have gas in the car, food and the refrigerator,
and make sure the lights are on. But getting too
far in the future. Remember we all woke up today.
Some people didn't be right here. Right here is where
(34:29):
the magic is.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Mm hmm. Thank you Tom LeNoble. You are an incredible
guest and the welcome Matt is now out for you
to be back on any day anytime you'd like.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Let's do a series.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
That would be great, that would be a dream come true.
Thank you, Tom. We appreciate you, folks. We appreciate you
joining us today. We always talk about your pursuit of success.
But we hope that this show will help propel you
to the zone of significance. And I'll quote a couple
(35:10):
of things that you just said. If it all starts
with improving your listening, think about the other person who's
speaking in honor what they believe, and then get on
their same level so you can truly open up your
ears and hear what they're really saying. That might be
(35:33):
listening with significance. Have a great week.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Sweet jeems a medea, these who a m to design
I travel the world and the seven seeds. Everybody is
look good for something. Some of them want to use you,
some of them want to get used by you. Some
(36:09):
of them want to amuse you. Some of them want
to be abused.
Speaker 7 (36:28):
Sweet dreams are.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Leader things who are my to decide to travel the
world and the seven seas.
Speaker 7 (36:39):
Everybody is looking for something.
Speaker 8 (36:55):
I'm ahead of moving on, don't get, don't.
Speaker 7 (37:04):
Get.
Speaker 8 (37:25):
Some of them want to use you, some of them
want to get used by some of them want to
use you, some of.
Speaker 7 (37:37):
Them want to be used. Sweet jeans are made.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Of these could have my to desided travel the world
and seven seeds on. Everybody is looking for something Sweet
jeeves on bed of these who have might to decide
(38:15):
to travel the world and seven seeds. Everybody is looking
for something sweet.
Speaker 7 (38:24):
Dreams on Betas you have my.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
To decide to travel the world and seven sees everybody
is still give for something sweet. Games on the Things,
who have we decide to travel the world and seven seeds,
(38:50):
everybody's looking for something sweet. Dreams on Datas Love Mind
deciding the travels world and seven Scenes.
Speaker 8 (39:05):
Everybody has looking solidly
Speaker 7 (39:10):
Dreams
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.