Sept 13th heavy day

The significance of Sept 13, 1996. Tupac died and my family found out some information. Find out how my brother dropped the news on me. Also if you haven’t converted to YouTube. Please do. @survivingsiblinglosspodcast

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, sibs, this is littlesister Chris, and it's been a while
since I've updated this audio only.It's been since the spring, and I
need to go ahead and catch upand download the audio from the zoom if
you haven't crossed over and watched theYouTube, so if you are new to

(00:23):
the podcast, I do have aYouTube channel, or you get to see
who I am, and you getto see other siblings and other guests on
the show talking about our siblings andpictures. I've upgraded a bit this past
few months, but I will downloadthe other remaining episodes because I do have

(00:48):
audio onto this spreaker. I've contemplatedwhether I wanted to update Spreaker or if
I wanted to keep it or justdo all of you. But there's value
in audio only as well, becauseI have my old episodes on here,
my very regional episodes from twenty nineteenwhen I got started, and I recently

(01:15):
learned that people are listening to itthat are not on my Facebook or social
media, and people who have notcommented on the YouTube channel, and I
appreciate them being there. I Ikind of wish I knew you guys,
if you're out there and you're listeningor have listened, or have shared this

(01:36):
podcast, let me know. Iam on Facebook as LPC Chris. But
on my on my profile picture,I do put the YouTube name and I
do put little Sister Chris on myprofile picture so people can find me.
And some people have been very successfulin finding me on Facebook. So that's

(01:57):
been amazing. And I appreciate thata lot of my guests are found on
Facebook or they email me, andif he would like to be a guest,
please email me as well. Ido have a new email address.
I it's early and I can't evenremember what it is, but I'll put
it in the in the show notes, and it's also on YouTube. But

(02:22):
I am updating you guys on Septemberfourteenth. Yesterday was September thirteenth, and
uh, if you are on myFacebook, you know that September thirteenth,
nineteen ninety six, was a daytwo pac was shot and died. And
that's also the day my brother toldme in a very candid way that he

(02:43):
was diagnosed with leukemia and was goingto die. And yesterday I kind of
ran through some emotions. It waskind of it was kind of it was
a good day. I I'm ina big transition in my life right now.
But it was a good day.I started my day off I was
talking to my dad. He calledme that morning, and I was also

(03:05):
in text message with a friend thatI met a couple of weeks ago,
who is like business oriented and verypositive, and we were talking about some
business ideas and things like that yesterday, and I had no I'm writing a
book about surviving sibling loss and Ihad no plans on talking to him about

(03:30):
this book. I really had putthe book down and haven't touched it.
And about two I found out.I felt like it was a month ago
or a month and a half ago, but I found out I haven't touched
it since June. Not that Ihaven't thought about the book constantly thinking about
it. I just haven't touched itor updated it since June. And didn't

(03:53):
realize that until yesterday. So we'retalking about it and he was like,
Wat's book going slow? I toldhim my reasons, and a lot of
the reasons is perfectionism is one bigissue. And then when when I'm writing,

(04:14):
it does tend to do it doestend to be emotional, and it
does tend to be like I've gotall this other stuff going on, so
I'll start to do all the otherstuff and not and put the book on
the back burner. That's basically alot of it. And so he gave

(04:34):
me a timeline and a deadline.It gave me a deadline, and I
was like, listen. He waslike, third days. I don't want
to hear anything else about it.I was like, thirty days. Thirty
days to complete a book? Areyou kidding? This is a surviving sibling

(04:54):
lost book? Like, this isnot like a how to business book.
This is not learned Spanish thirty days. This is like surviving sibling loss.
And he is like thirty days.So I was like, you know,
I'm up for a good challenge.And I finished our We finished our conversation,
got off the phone with him.I'll go downstairs in my house and

(05:18):
grabbed my handy dandy calendar and it'sone of those calendars that has the plastic
pieces to it where you can movethe dates and you know all of that.
So the last time I moved thedate was August the twenty eighth.
I don't know what was so significantabout August twenty eighth, but that's the

(05:40):
last time I moved it, sogo to moving the pieces to match up
to the date, didn't really realizewhat date it was. I had to
look on my Apple Watch. SoI looked at my watch and I was
like September. So I moved itSeptember and then one and the three,
and I stood there for a minuteand I said, September thirteen, September

(06:04):
thirteen, September thirteenth, Friday,September thirteenth, nineteen ninety six. That
was the day. That was theday where everything in my systems, my

(06:30):
life and relationship with my brother changed. And I haven't thought about that date
on the actual date in a while. It hasn't stopped me in my tracks.
The memory hadn't stopped me in mytracks like that in a while,
And it might be because I'm inbig transitions. This year has been completely

(06:55):
different for me. But I waslike September thirteenth. I immediately went back
to being in my house where Igrew up a fourteen year old, standing
in my dining room because that's whereI found my brother. And I'll write

(07:18):
more of the details about where hewas and what happened that day and and
all of that, but just standingin my in our dining room. He
was staring out the window, andthat's when he told me, Crystal,
I'm going to die. I haveleukemia. And I had no clue what

(07:41):
he was talking about. And youknow, as little sister, I'm running
in my mind all these questions inmy mind about what is he talking about.
He doesn't know what he's talking about. But then at the same time,
he's acting like very matter of fact, and I've not I've not been
there with him. So I ranupstairs in our house and grabbing encyclopedia because

(08:09):
I have questions, and I wasscared to ask him the questions. And
I found leukemia and found out thatthere's two kinds of leukemia, acute and
chronic. Acute didn't have a greatlife expectancy, Chronic had a longer life
expectancy. So I ran down thesteps and I asked him what kind do

(08:33):
you have? And he was stillin the dining room looking out the window,
and he said, I have acuteleukemia. And I didn't want to
startle myself, so I FROs andthen I didn't want to startle him either.

(08:54):
By what I just read my encyclopediasaid that the life expectancy for someone
who had the cute leukemia was anywherefrom seven to twelve months, and as

(09:20):
a fourteen year old, I didn'tknow how to process. And I really
don't remember the rest of September thirteenth, I don't I I do believe I
remember him saying something about Tupac,because Tupac was also his very favorite rapper,
like kids, number one rapper wasTupac, and Tupac had to be
shot and killed and die on Septemberthirteenth, the same day. It was

(09:46):
devastating and what a time to evenbe alive. So yeah, that was
actually the day that my life changedand our family's life changed, and his
life changed immediately because we knew hewas having some issues and we knew he

(10:11):
was having some sickness, but atthe same time, I didn't even think,
didn't think cancer. Nobody thinks cancer. Nobody thinks serious. You think,
maybe you know you might need it, get some treatment, he'll be
okay, But nobody thinks aggressive cancerlike that. And I was a freshman

(10:33):
in high school. Knew a newfreshman in high school just started f high
school, and he was a newsenior in high school. He had just
started to my friend on the phone. Did not know what the day meant

(10:56):
to me, and I didn't evenknow while we was on the phone.
I n I no clue. Itwasn't until after we got off the phone.
He challenged me the thirty days toget my book done, and I
looked at the calendar there so Icould say today even though I started this
book back in the spring, Isaid, okay, today will be my

(11:16):
thirty day from today. And that'swhy I went down to get the calendar
so I can look at the dayand then say, thirty days from now
is what date. I didn't eventell my friend because it was a moment

(11:37):
that I had in my house,overwhelmed a bit on the verge of tears.
And then I realized it felt likemy brother was saying to me,
right our your story sis, causenobody else can. And it was like

(12:13):
he gave me. It was likeI'm not had this situation with him,
and I'm not had this situation duringthis conversation about this book with my brother.
If you're surviving sibling or have somebodywho has passed away, you know

(12:33):
you still keep that relationship. It'sdifferent, but you still keep that relationship.
It will always be there. Itdoesn't matter, it will always be
there. And I felt in thatmoment like he would saying, go on,
write it and what would you waitnow? And I was like,

(13:00):
okay, now, it's more.It's more than a challenge. It's a
must. It has to be ithas to be written. And I never
thought about it in that way.And my friend also said that, you
know, because of you writing thisbook, and you know with me perfectionism

(13:24):
and somewhat procrastination and anxiety. Andif I don't like the direction that it's
going, you change your direction.You just don't wait, you don't sit
on it. It's been it's beensince nineteen ninety nineteen ninety seven. And
he didn't say that, but inmy mind that's what I got. But

(13:46):
he it's like, your book isyour purpose, and from your writings,
you don't know how it's gonna helpsomebody. And if it's not out there,
then it's not gonna help. It'snot gonna be its purpose. It's
not gonna do what it's supposed todo. And I understood that. I

(14:13):
understood that, and it was justa lot of processing after getting off the
phone, and then realizing that itwas September thirteenth, and that my surviving
sibling laws didn't start on uh onApril tenth, nineteen ninety seven. It
actually started on September thirteenth, nineteenninety six. And I never thought about

(14:39):
it in that way because the optimismyou know that we all have, and
the faith and you know, theprayers that we we said to keep my
brother living, and we just knewthat we would fight it as a family.
As my brother he would fight it. He would fight it, and

(15:05):
that just wasn't his destiny to fightit and continue to leave, to continue
to live. It was not hisdestiny. And I just think about that
because again a matter of fact,he was just telling me I'm going to
die. He told my dad thathe was tired. He was wanted to

(15:31):
go home. Father, end upit. He told him he was tired.

(15:56):
And you know, guys, Iam I don't edit the at all.
I don't. I'm not the thatpodcast or that makes everything so formal
and polished. I'm not. Uh, You'll get the real silence, You'll
get the real real tears, you'llget the voice cracks. You're getting a

(16:17):
voice that just woke up but Iwanted to. I wanted to come on
here and gear spreaker this audio onlysome love and updates for people who have
not converted over to YouTube. AndI appreciate my friend for telling me what

(16:52):
he needed to tell me on Septemberthirteen, twenty twenty three, not knowing
and me not knowing either until afterI get off the phone that that's actually
the day my story started and realizingit now twenty seven years later, twenty

(17:18):
seven years later as a forty oneyear old woman looking back at a big
family family event that occurred when Iwas fourteen. So I leave you guys

(17:45):
to do some work. I gotsome work to do. You might got
some work to do. Get yourwork done, go through the emotions,
go through the process. Thanks forbeing here. And I told you all
if you are my face Book orhave not been on my Facebook, I
just appreciate you all for coming ontothe podcasts and for supporting Little Sister,

(18:10):
and for coming on to other socialmedia platforms. And I get sprinkles of
people here and there that I've nevermet who tell me they listened to the
earliest parts of my podcasts when Iwas just speaking into my iPhone in my

(18:30):
house of the kitchen, having breakfastor somewhere else, or just really thinking,
I'm talking to myself and I'm justprocessing my emotions and my feelings by
myself, and I'm not thinking anybodyelse's listening, or we'll listen, or

(18:55):
how I would be working on thisfor years to come. I didn't think
any of that back in twenty nineteen. And it's been amazing to meet you
all and to hear from you all. And I say this a lot.

(19:19):
It's bitter that we all met theway we met, but it's also sweet
to know that we are not alone. And I appreciate you guys. I
have so much more coming up onYouTube. I have some even a family

(19:40):
come on to the podcasts I have. I believe I'm gonna chop them up
into parts, so I may havethree or four episodes coming up. I
would get those edited. That's beena process. I was in the conference

(20:02):
last week and n up a transitionlooking into doing a lot of entrepreneur work
and speaking engagements, getting people preparedand groups prepared for the holiday season,

(20:25):
grieving during the holiday season and theweather changes, and how to how to
be a support as well, andall operations or corporations, excuse me how
they can be come safe grieving spacesbecause as a young griever, I knew

(20:45):
and experienced so many spaces that werenot safe for me to grieve, and
school was one of them. School, these jobs, Oh my goodness,
y'all y'all already know I I willaddres rest that with in one of the
episodes about not knowing that one ofour siblings told us that she didn't know

(21:07):
she had berievement time or berievement days, y'all, and that's that's just crazy
to me. How even and evennow post COVID quote unquote, how or
a corporations or organizations and jobs donot provide safe briefing spaces for their berieved

(21:30):
employees. So I'm my goal isto go out and teach spaces to be
safe. So y'all keep me inmind, pray for me, and that
I'm booked up for the holidays ordependent holiday season now September through uh through

(21:52):
December. So if you are againon my Facebook LPC Chris page, I
am willing to travel to talk aboutthese things as a grief therapist. Willing
to travel. So if you havean organization or corporation or church or school
that you would like information on griefeducation wellness for the pending holidays, Please

(22:17):
book me. My website is tpgccdot com. That's t as in tall
p as in my last name,PGCC dot com. All right, guys,
I will see you over on YouTube. The YouTube channel is at Surviving
Sibling Loss podcast. That's at SurvivingSibling Laws podcast. Coming over, convert

(22:45):
over, subscribe, like, share, comment. I would love to hear
or see your comments, reach yourcomments. Okay, all right, Love
you guys. By